#do not reblog as strker

[Peter in the Avengers group chat after they failed a mission]

Peter: The sun will rise and we’ll cry again

Peter: try*

Peter: Oh forget it, cry is fine I guess

Tony: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO added minerals for taste

Peter: We got spring water

Tony: NO-

Harley: With EXTRA minerals

Peter: It’s like licking a stalagmite, Mr. Stark

Tony: DON’T COME HOME

Peter: mmm cave water

Peter: Hi I’d like to order a cake please

Worker: Okay sure! What do you want it to say?

Peter:

Peter, calling Tony: *panics* Hey Mr. Stark does Pepper want a talking cake?

Tony:

Peter, answering the phone: Hello?

Killer: I see you

Peter: Oh

Peter: Do you want to come inside? It’s chilly outside and-

Tony: Wha- Pete stop, PETER-

Peter: -it’d be bad if you caught a cold. You can have dinner with Mr. Stark and me if you’d like to!

Killer:

Killer, tearing up: That’d be nice

Peter: So you’ve died before?

Bucky: Yeah

Peter: Goals

Tony, already dialing like 11 psychologists:

[At the court for the Mysterio fiasco]

Judge: Mr. Parker, how do you plead?

Peter: *looks at Tony*

Tony, mouthing:Not guilty

Peter: Hot milky

Tony, banging his head on the desk: For fuck’s sake just lock him

[Peter gone to distract the enemy during a mission]

Steve: What do you think he’s gonna do?

Tony: He’ll probably throw a rock or something

Peter: *starts yodeling at a distance*

Steve: What on earth-

Tony: Honestly I’m not one bit surprised

Peter, waking up from yet another coma: *yawns* Hey guys what time is it

Harley: It’s about 2 am dude, you hungry?

Peter: Oh cool. Yeah I’m up for some food

Tony, sobbing uncontrollably: Can you PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED-