#dracula posting
God bless dracula daily cuz now everyone understands why I’m so obsessed with this book . No movie can do it justice. It’s just something you have to read to experience just how wild but entertaining it is.
She slayed this
hey btw if you wanna read dracula in real time as it happens you can have the chapters delivered to you via e-mail by signing up here:
Dracula Daily | DraculaDaily | Substack
it’s fun
Mina, after Jonathan was found: my husband , Jonathan, he has every disease and is banned from most public spaces <3
Every day i realize i was not born to work I was born to sit by the window sill with an open book while i look out on the countryside and also I’m a vampire
Sex with Dracula is like
they really captured the letter format so well, because now every day that we don’t get an update, I’m like ‘…oh no, something terrible might have happened to my dear friend jonathan harker!!’ when like of course something terrible has happened, he’s in the novel dracula
Dracula bride voice: GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING
Dracula brides voice descending on Jonathan: MCDONALDS MCDONALDS
Dracula bringing a child in a sack: we got food at home
so when Spider-man crawls up and down walls like a bug people praise him and call him a superhero, but when I, Count Dracula,
I have yeeted
the mirror
that was on
your walland which
you were probably
hoping
to shave withForgive me
it is a foul bauble
of man’s
vanityMy nam is Drac
And when I see
A mirrer not reflecting me
I screm and toss it
To the grass
That bauble’s gone
I yeet the glass
A Discourse
I present the following points:
- how sweet and touching is his bond with the doggies of the night!
- how thoughtfully, how carefully he cooks chicken for our friend Jonathan Harker! with his own hands, he tends the fire, he makes up the bed linens… always quietly and discreetly so as not to offend our friend Jonathan’s delicate English sensibilities!
- consider: his genuine interest and delight in the English train tables. so endearing!
- how mournful are his soulful eyes and drooping white moustache, like a faithful hound
- and really, vampirism is a low impact, even (dare I say) sustainable form of aristocracy. think of the brutish English landlord, who bleeds thousands of tenant peasants dry every year! Herr Graf Dracula sensitively restrains himself to perhaps less than one measly peasant per year.
- and despite his thoughtful and sensitive nature, the people despise him! they abhor his name, poor thing!
I think the case is clear.
was he able to shave? is dracula still pretending to be his entire staff? has dracula tried to dracula him? i am left to ponder until our next communication…
I just want everyone new to Dracula and reading Dracula Daily to note that you are getting to read this novel in a weird and wonderful way that its author absolutely did not intend. This is not a straight serialization of the text. Dates skip around in Draculaas it is written, moving the reader backwards and forwards in time to help shape the specific narrative Bram Stoker wanted to tell. We all will–in fact–be skipping ahead some chapters in a few days to meet another narrator only to skip immediately back to catch up with our collective friend Jonathan Harker.
And I think this is rad! I think it’s amazing to have a bunch of readers who are reading this book–not as Bram Stoker wrote it–but in a way that conforms to the steady march of events within it. This is a unique opportunity in that you guys don’t get to shape your reactions in relation to things you know will happen later. You can’t have your dread or anticipation undercut by future events.
Like all the characters you’re going to meet, you just have to wait for Dracula to act upon you.
I looked up Matt Kirkland’s web page, and it’s amazing that Dracula Daily is only one of his completely delightful side projects.
Like… he has a business that will ship you a clay cuneiform transcription of a tweet:
He’s done a photography project showing you the robots hiding in children’s toys:
What a complete individual. What an absolute guy to have kicked this all off.
*sighs* I can’t wait for dracula daily to start trending again
Dracula and Son Plush available NOW! Invite them home today before time runs out!
renfield walking his pet flies (i drew this in my notes app will do a better one later)