#excellent

carry-on-wayward-sister:

marzipanandminutiae:

yggidee:

uovoc:

blueelectricangels:

vr-trakowski:

hermitknut:

anassarhenisch:

skygemspeaks:

someone recommend me some good fantasy books that aren’t centred on a war, please, my crops are dying

The Greta Helsing novels by Vivian Shaw - practical doctor to the undead defeats mildly ominous interdimensional threats with the aid of domestic vampires and a demon accountant.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley - practical baker is captured by vampires, escapes, reluctantly teams up with better vampire to kill the bad one.

Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones - young hat maker ages 60 years overnight, proceeds to upend the life of a disaster wizard while learning self-confidence.

the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett - hard to encapsulate, but equally funny and hard-hitting, tackling race and gender and corruption and other forms of inequality while also, like, making fun of post offices and Hollywood and Shakespeare. Three or four tackle war, true, but there’s something like 35 others to choose from.

the Accidental Turn series by J.M. Frey - recent Ph.D of colour lands in the Fantasyland™ she did her thesis on, goes off about agency and diversity while recovering from the Dark Lord’s attentions and learning the truth about her fictional crush.

Middlegameby Seanan McGuire- evil alchemist creates superpowered children to assist world takeover; children just want to be a family; family is complicated.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik - young woman takes over family business, must outwit fairies with a love of gold.

the Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede - princess runs away to become a dragon’s housekeeper, fights off rescuers, solves problems large and small, melts wizards.

the October Daye novels by Seanan Mcguire - Half-fae detective solves murders, finds missing persons, develops found family, can’t stop self from upending the social order.

The Golem and the Djinni by Helene Wecker - A quiet golem, a tempestuous djinn, Gilded Age New York. Immigrants, identity, friendship, hope, and self-discovery.

An Unkindness of Magicians by Kat Howard - A witch from an outsider House enters New York’s magical Hunger Games, to prove a point. The problems of magic were notintended.

Zoo City by Lauren Beukes - Part-time con artist gets hired to find two missing pop stars, with the help of the magical sloth on her back. Noir ensues.

Child of a Hidden Sea by A.M. Dellamonica - Nature photographer lands on water-world, discovers lost family, tries to convince self magic is impossible.

Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips - Greek gods, washed up in North London, curse Apollo to fall for the cleaner. Existential crisis, meet rom-com.

Among Others by Jo Walton - Loner teen sent to boarding school, discovers science fiction, might know fairies and do magic.

Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton - Austenesque story except all the characters are dragons.

Every Heart a Doorway (and sequels) by Seanan McGuire - the children of portal fantasy end up in boarding school coping with being kicked out of their various worlds, then some of them start getting murdered. 

The Gracekeepers by Kirsty Logan - the world is flooded, there’s a lady who works with a bear at a circus that sails to different places to perform, and a lady who is sort of an undertaker, and they fall in love

Lud-in-the-Mistby Hope Mirrlees - there are fairies but no one talks about them anymore because That’s Just Not How We Are except this state of affairs cannot possibly last and people start getting lured to fairyland

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison - fifth son of emperor who’s lived his whole life away from court abruptly becomes emperor when his father and older brothers are killed in an accident, spends entire book trying to make friends and figure how the fuck to do a) confidence and b) ruling ethically

The Various by Steven Augarde - girl spends summer at uncle’s farm, finds the group of “various” (no direct parallel, but think somewhere between gnomes and pixies) that live in the woods, mysterious history, flying horse, The Cat Is Evil (this is technically middle grade but it’s so good I can’t even)

Turning Darkness Into Light by Marie Brennan - working on the translation of an ancient text is complicated when it might have a huge impact on the public perception of a highly stigmatised group; subterfuge, found family, mythology, and the rejection of men who steal other people’s work. 

So You Want to Be a Wizard orStealing the Elf-King’s Roses by Diane Duane.  

Tam Lin, Juniper Gentian and Rosemary, andThe Secret Country by Pamela Dean (all different stories).  

The Spellkey by Ann Downer.  

Swordheart  or Summer in Orcus by T. Kingfisher.  

The Curse of Chalion or the Penric series by Lois McMaster Bujold.

Green Year Dragonfly by Kaye Bellot.  

If by “no war” you mean “no or not focused on violence”:

The Terrier/Bloodhound/Mastiff series by Tamora Pierce
Teenage former street rat aspires to and joins law enforcement in pseudo-medieval fantasy land, proves to have moral code forged of adamantium and more determination than an entire battalion. Also talks to unquiet ghosts carried by pigeons.

the Winding Circle books by Tamora Pierce (with the exception of Battle Magic)
Four teenagers are snatched from the jaws of peril, discover they have incredibly strong yet overlooked magical powers, slowly become a found family, survive an earthquake, pirates, forest fires, plague, and puberty.

The Keeper Chronicles,by Tanya Huff
Magic user accidentally gets roped into running a boarding house in Toronto. The decor is from the 50s, the handyman is an incredibly handsome and pureminded myopic Newfoundlander, and there is a (literal) portal to Hell in the basement. The third book adds lesbians and a mall that eats street kids to the mix. (Enchantment Emporium and its sequels are in the same world btw)

——————————————————————

If by “no war” you legitimately just mean that war is not the driving plot force:

the Hawk and Fisher books by Simon R Green 
Fairytale-destined prince and princess decide that destiny is bullshit, ditch their kindgoms, become the only honest pseudo-cops in fantasy-Gotham because strangely being a prince/princess doesn’t actually give you life skills that are not applicable to being a mercenary. Buildings eat people, gods are murdered, street drugs turn people into animals, Hawk and Fisher are so very tired.

Oath of Swords and its sequels, by David Weber

Guy from a species generally (unfairly) derided by “civilized people” as barbaric and evil thinks he’s going mad, but actually he’s been chosen as paladin by a god and he’s just stubbornly refusing to listen. Continues to go off and do heroic shit while doing the equivalent of jamming his fingers in his ears and saying “LA LA LA”. This does absolutely nothing to dissuade the god in question.

The Thief, by Megan Whalen Turner
A thief’s prison sentence is cut short when he is sent on a mission to steal an important (and magical?) object for the King. BIG plot twist at the end. Imagine going on a fun road trip through the fantasy pseudo-Byzantine Empire, except that all your fellow travelers have their own secret agendas.

The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August, by Catherine Webb 
In this universe, there are a handful of time travelers –  people who are forced to live the same life over and over, retaining their memories with each rebirth.  As Harry nears the end of his eleventh life, a little girl appears at his bedside with the following message: the end of the world is getting faster.

Dark Lord of Derkholm, by Diana Wynne Jones
The citizens of a fantasy world are getting really tired of being overrun by non-magical tourists from our world. This year, the role of Evil Wizard falls to Derk, who wants nothing more than to be left in peace on his farm/magical genetic engineering laboratory. Derk’s 2 human children, 5 griffin children, and 1 enchantress wife feel much the same. Wouldn’t it be a shame if someone were to sabotage this planet’s shitty contract once and for all? 

(For personal records)

The Athena Club series, by Theodora Goss
Daughters and/or female creations of mad scientists from 19th-century literature team up to figure out what their “fathers” were up to and what, exactly, the secret society that seems to control all such experiments intends to do next. Sort of an all-female League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, in the best way. Kind of an odd frame narrative, but you get used to it pretty quickly.

TheRuby Red Trilogy by Kerstin Gier

Love, Time travel, secret societies, and a dark secret at the heart of a prophecy.

Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy

A hidden world of magic wielders in modern day Ireland, a skeleton detective and his associate solving crimes, a race of Gods trying to conquer the world, and a dark prophecy declaring the end of all things. This one does have battles in every book but it isn’t your classical war.

Chronicles of Ancient Darkness by Michelle Paver

Set in a time when the woods were still dark and dangerous (European Bronze Age, most likely Finland), a boy and his wolf friend have to survive beasts and other clans. Includes Demons, Soul Eaters, Spirit Walkers, and Changelings.

tickety-boo-af:

mielpetite:

tickety-boo-af:

mielpetite:

The exclusivity period is finally over for my last Zine of the year, the Nice and Interpretive Zine! This was to illustrate an essay on Aziraphale’s stage magic as a route to self actualization through skills of deception. I tried to make sure each face was still very much the Angel in disguise

I love this so much! It was such a pleasure to see this come together and have it appear in the zine along with my writing! It’s simply gorgeous. Everyone do yourself a favor and click for full quality to take in all the lovely details and expressions.

It was an honor to illustrate your essay! The zine was amazing but I crossed my fingers and toes I’d be paired with you ☺️

Such a lovely pairing! I finally posted my essay, “Aziraphale and the Art of Deception,” here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36770146

tiktoks-for-tired-tots:

guinevereslancelot:

guinevereslancelot:

guinevereslancelot:

guinevereslancelot:

guinevereslancelot:

guinevereslancelot:

in the next batman movie selina is back in town to con bruce wayne which he knows but he missed her so much and obviously he can afford it so he just lets her

she reveals she’s robbed him and he’s like oh that’s fine lol if you needed money you could have just asked :) and writes her a check for a million dollars and asks when he can see her again and she’s like dang this guy is insane??

he was terrified she could never love him for bruce wayne meanwhile selina’s like okay edgy badboys are OUT rich himbos are IN but its the same guy

she expects batman to try to stop her at some point but he never does so she concludes that he just really hates bruce wayne for some reason which makes him all the more attractive

batman realizes she’s falling for bruce for real and he’s not even jealous he’s just like “you really like him? that’s great ” and selina’s like wtf

anyway she sneaks into bruce’s study or whatever to crack the safe hidden behind the painting and it’s full of roses, jewelry, bruce’s blank checkbook and a little note asking her to dinner. he thinks that this is normal behavior btw

fairyairport:

Hello, I’m back :D

I was gone because I was exploring the secrets of nuclear weapons and then I was threatened to keep quiet by an unknown identity (this is a joke)

Anyways, I’ll be here more often now sooo have some flags content (verlaine and adam too) and Tsuji dou because there’s really no content of them here.

lefthandedsilcos:

monkey-network:

transgenderrari:

dragonprincessmew:

Pokemon headcanon that once Absol are studied and people realize they prevent disasters instead of causing them, particularly dangerous workplaces get themselves a workplace Absol and it also decreases accidents.

Construction sites and fishing ships and factories will have one that pretty much just lazes about until it just gets up howling one day and knocks a dude down. They almost never figure out what would have happened but they’re always like “yes absol thank you absol I am so grateful to be on the floor right now. Can I offer you a treat in this trying time”

ahappileemeandering:

wumblr:

totallyfubar:

Hot dog water is the exact opposite of holy water in that you can add a single drop of it to any amount of pure water and it will make the entire thing unpure

now THIS is the kind of philosophical liturgy i come to tumblr for. FINALLY i can defeat the pope

@gallusrostromegalus

cipheramnesia:

runcibility:

The care tag on the back of my neck

This is what’s hanging on our wall instead of “Live, Laugh, Love.”