Hot dog water is the exact opposite of holy water in that you can add a single drop of it to any amount of pure water and it will make the entire thing unpure
now THIS is the kind of philosophical liturgy i come to tumblr for. FINALLY i can defeat the pope
Jim was raised by a pit stop nun to be gods greatest mechanic and avenge the street racing crash that killed their family. Stede keeps track of everyone’s birthdays on a bike sticker. The secret library in his engine has somehow not caught on fire.
i’m thinking about how nick is missing half his face and how, eventually he’s like. going to completely run out of skin. wistfully recalling an epidermis
Awww one of my sorority sisters randomly sent me a letter and it’s super sweet, it’s so nice to hear from her. Time to get out my victorian murder stationery and make things weird!
mmmmmm yessss normal human correspondence
@hellenhighwater, where on earth did you find Illustrated Police News stationary‽ It’s exquisite!
Oh, I made it! I cut some warm-tone newsprint paper down to letter size and just ran it through the printer. Of course, you could use whatever paper you want, and you don’t need a color printer for these, they’re just black. I made a bunch of custom stationery from old open-source images. There’s two PDFs in this folder; one is full-page images that can be used on the back of pages, and the other is lined writing pages. Just delete the space out of the URL and you should be able to download them from Google Drive.
Enjolras: Homophobia killed the Hepatitis vaccine before it could reach its true potential and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.
Combeferre: I started my presentation with a pun nobody clapped at, so I’m quitting teaching forever now.
Courfeyrac: He calls his treatments radical but voted conservative last month. What is the truth?
Bahorel: The pants I am wearing do fantastic things for my ass but its been covered by a lab coat since 8. This is true oppression.
Joly: When the Professor told us 95% of us probably have EBV I laughed and then went home to cry.
Bossuet: So I told the head doctor I was concerned because the patient’s tongue was so blue - turns out the guy just really loves drinking blueberry concentrate and I woke him up for nothing.
Feuilly: Last night I found a Russian website to pirate textbooks, today I shiver in fear as I await my electricity bill. Life is about balance.
Jehan: Gosh, I’ve always wanted to vaccinate an orange. They’re so weak.
Grantaire: Yeah the Professor definitely overheard me call him The Exmatriculator so if he fails me later today it won’t be because I’m dumb, for once.
+ BONUS
Marius:I come from a family of lawyers, going to med school is an act of rebellion.
I still don’t understand how this entire fandom has somehow all silently and simultaneously agreed on like, a couple of key headcanons that are totally random but completely accurate. Like out of the whole book Courfeyrac has 10 seconds of dialogue and then BOOM! Outgoing gay theatre kid who loves glitter and also speaks spanish.
wtf?? what even is this?? why is this so true?? where did this come from?? how do y’all even come up with this stuff
Story idea: The most wanted woman in town has announced that she’ll only marry the one who can open her front door with the key around her cat’s neck. Many men try to hunt the cat down, chase and trap it, but to no avail, the cat is simply too quick, smart and clever, and always finds a way to evade and avoid them.
You are the first one to figure out the obvious: Do not chase the cat. The cat is befriendable. Get the cat to trust you, to genuinely enjoy your company, and you can hang out with the cat. You may eventually be allowed to touch the cat. The cat will freely let you take the key.
Secondary plot twist: The woman is a shapeshifter. She is the cat.
That’s some legit fairy tale level shit right there.
When I read “the most wanted woman in town”, I thought it meant she was a master criminal.
CLEARLY she’s a CAT BURGLAR
This fairytale has everything…shapeshifting, romance, lesbianism, cats, BAD PUNS <3
Byakuya: If you are below my height, you are a manlet to me.
Fuyuhiko: I am going to shove a log so far up your ass, you’ll be coughing up bark for years, you cocksucking asswipe.
Fuyuhiko: No tone tags, take this as you will. And if you fucking say that shorter people are closer to hell I will personally kick your ass into 2011 B.C.
Hi my name is Uhtred son of Uhtred, I was originally named Osbert until my brother Uhtred died and Bebbanburg needed an heir (that’s how I got my name), then I was raised by Earl Ragnar the Fearless (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Young Ragnar but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a Saxon but I was raised by Danes so I dress and act like a Dane. I’m a warrior (in case you couldn’t tell) and I always carry my sword Serpent-Breath. I love shield walls and making the square. For example today I was defending Eoferwic against the Danes. I disobeyed Alfred’s orders and made the square with the Danes’ leader and won which made me really happy. A lot of Saxons stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. DESTINY IS ALL.
A lot of fic is predicated on the assumption of the Dark Side being a potential break-glass-in-case-of-emergency Hail Mary power-up. It’s in like a zillion of them; the hero is losing the fight, he unzips Dark Side and wins, then gets unfairly persecuted for just trying to survive. But–like Force exhaustion–I don’t think there’s much evidence of that, either.
TPM:
Maul vs Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon: there’s no indication that Obi-Wan leaned into the Dark Side here, or, rather, that Obi-Wan won because he leaned into the Dark Side. He wins after he calms down, even.
AotC:
Anakin vs Dooku: if Anakin tried to summon more power here, it sure didn’t work.
RotS:
Anakin vs Dooku: Anakin does win this fight after getting visibly upset, but Anakin was also always meant to win this fight. This was a fixed encounter, and I hesitate to use it as weighty evidence.
Anakin vs Obi-Wan: if Anakin tried to summon more power here, it sure as shit didn’t work.
ANH
Dark Side didn’t keep Vader from being punted into space like a field goal
ESB:
I’m not sure what you could even suggest as potential line-toeing here. Ironically, neither Luke nor Vader achieves their objective on Bespin. If the Dark Side is a hax power-up, nobody used it here.
RotJ:
Luke vs Vader and Sidious: so here’s the clearest case for a Dark Side power-up–Luke goes from getting bodied by Vader to just hammering him. A version of the script says this:
Itdoes say “realizes he is using the dark side” right there! But it also says that Luke has grown much stronger since Bespin. I can agree that Luke drew on the dark, but I don’t think his moment of superiority came solely from the dark side. I don’t think this was a Super Saiyan level of magic power jump.
And Vader was not on his A-game, either; even Like can feel how conflicted he is, and Darth Vader absolutely does not want anyone to know he feels like that.
I also think it’s worth pointing out that being able to pound Vader like that didn’t actually save the day for Luke. If he had killed Vader right there and attempted to finish off Palpatine still in full loyalty to the Rebellion, he would have gotten fucked--as he does immediately after this scene, when Palpatine accepts his refusal and effortlessly fries him. It was not a case of “Luke could have won if he’d just taken a lil bit of dark side, as a treat”.
tl;dr I don’t the dark side is a powerlevel button. Sith are not powerful because they can throw chairs around harder than the Jedi ever could, they’re powerful because they’re willing to do that unethically. They all talk it up as hot shit because the entire arc of every Sith is someone who starts buying their own bullshit.
e: actually, that’s a better way of phrasing it–the dark side is exactly like cocaine in that you FEEL like it’s given you all sorts of power but its effect is nothing more mystical what than you’d have gotten from an adrenaline rush.
We also have, in ESB, Luke asking whether the Dark Side is stronger and Yoda emphatically answering that it’s not. I suppose a viewer doesn’t have to take Yoda at his word but there’s really nothing to suggest he’s wrong about this when he’s not just there to teach Luke, but also the audience about the Force.
I think a lot of the misconception stems from the popular trope (outsideof Star Wars) of characters getting mad and that’s what lets them win. But Star Wars is, in some sense, an active rejection of that trope.
If anything, doesn’t Star Wars support the idea of the light side being more powerful?
TPM: Obi-Wan uses anger and then is about to get killed (would have if Maul didn’t waste time gloating). He calms down, uses (and trusts) the Force to get himself out of the pit, grab the lightsaber, and defeat his enemy.
AOTC: Dooku gets defeated by Yoda. He has try to crush Obi-Wan and Anakin, while they’re defenseless, to distract Yoda so he can get away. Because Yoda is skilled with a lightsaber and is able to use the Force to not be hurt by lightning (which was awesome).
ROTS: Obi-Wan manages to win the battle against Anakin, and Palpatine fails to kill Yoda
ANH: “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful then you can possibly imagine” and Obi-Wan becomes a ghost. Also, Luke uses the Force (probably as calmly as he could in that situation) and manages to blow up the Death Star.
ESB: Not really an example here, Luke was defeated because he wasn’t ready.
ROTJ: Yes, Luke beat Vader while he was angry (and it does seem he tasted the dark side), but he would’ve been killed had he done anything to Palpatine. Bringing Vader back to the light ends up being what defeats Palpatine and saves the galaxy.
The dark side seems able to grant someone some power at extremely high cost, with the person’s mental health going to shit and the people they care about getting hurt. Anakin trusts the dark side to save his wife, then he commits genocide and his wife dies, largely because of him. He isn’t even any more powerful either.
The light side has people work really hard to learn abilities. Yoda literally had to fight his own dark side in order to learn how to manifest himself after death. But the abilities actually work, they do get more powerful, and it doesn’t come at crazy high costs like being responsible for genocide.
note on my advice in the next paragraph: you don’t have to take it if you don’t want to. I’m not here to police how other people’s fics go. The advice is just something I think would help fics feel more Star Wars and more enjoyable for me to read.
My advice for any Star Wars fic writers who want to give their characters a power-up, have them get tested by the Force and then give them the power-up. This could also give an extra chance for character development or introspection. And you don’t have to worry about your character being shunned! And if you just want something lighthearted or humorous (but still want the power-up), make the test lighthearted and/or silly. Who says the Force can’t have a sense of humor?
The dark side is alluring because it’s easy to give in to frustration and anger, because the dark side is quicker andeasier, but it comes with the cost of your mental health going to shit and you generally don’t get what you actually wanted/you drive everyone away because you’re being an absolute asshole.
The light side is a lot harder, it takes a lifetime of discipline to choose the light every day, to do the hard work to build yourself up, to face and let go all the toxic crap inside you, to really earn your skills.
The dark side is powerful, but it’s not more powerful. It’s an easier shortcut that will always, by narrative structure, come around to bite you in the ass again.
I’ve officially decided my favorite relationship trope is “at first I was perpetually bothered by your mere existence but somewhere along the way you became my best friend and oh yeah I’m also in love with you.” Nothing else matters.
I would like to put forward ‘you are the most annoying person in the world and at first I hated you because of that. Then I got to know you and we went through shit together and now I would literally die for you because you are my love and my light and the only reason I’m even still on this godforsaken hellhole of a planet BUT YOU ARE STILL THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON IN THE WORLD AND MY LOVE IS BARELY RESTRAINING ME FROM HITTING YOU WITH A CHAIR’ as my favourite variant of this.
it has Arrived. the grand angst piece of suffering i’ve been working on since the finale. part 1 of 2. more suffering to follow as soon as I’ve written it. enjoy.
Title:Let Me Back In - Chapter 1 ‘As You Are Mine’
Warning:Spoilers for episode 1x08 of the show. Mature rating for dark themes/content. Moiraine is in a fairly deep depression and is dissociating quite a lot. She’s sunk very deeply into an apathetic torpor and it may be uncomfortable/unsettling to read - be aware and be safe if this is a potential problem.
Summary: Post 1x08 - after what happened at the Eye, Moiraine is struggling to cope. Lan has given her time and space to grieve, but after almost a week of apathy and with no signs of improvement, he finally attempts to reach out to her and encourage her to let him help.
Teaser:‘ Today had brought a slight change in her, though he did not think it was for the better. Staring blankly into space without seeming to see anything. Head all that was visible beneath the mountain of blankets she seemed to be trying to drown herself within. Somehow, the Wheel had finally managed to break Moiraine Sedai. It had made her into a small, fragile thing, a thing she would have despised a week ago. Had he not been able to hear the gentle sounds of her breathing in the silence of the room, he’d have believed her a corpse.’
The healers of Fal Dara, talented though they were, had been at a complete loss as to what to do for his Aes Sedai.
When he and Moiraine had returned from the Eye, he had been carrying her for half a day. Her legs had given out from under her without warning in the middle of the Blight and she had been unable to move. Where before she would have clung to every rotted branch and twisted trunk to drag herself on, and stubbornly clawed herself out on her stomach if forced, against all sense or reason, she had simply huddled on the ground, eyes closed, expression bleak. There had been not a word of protest uttered when he had lifted her into his arms to carry her back.
In the week since, she had not improved. He had stayed with her as much as he had been able to, only leaving to fetch things for her. At first she had argued against it, insisting that he do more important things, that they were not bonded now, and he was no longer obligated to assist her. He had ignored her, and after the first day, she had fallen silent. Not because she had changed her mind; simply, he was sure, because she was too exhausted to argue.
None of the healers he had consulted had made the slightest difference to her. Even Nynaeve had been taken aback by the state of her when she had finally consented to visit and examine her after Lan all but begged her. Eventually, after many examinations and concerned conferences, the best they could recommend had been bed rest. For the first time since he had known her, likely the first time in her life, Moiraine had heeded that suggestion. She had not left her chambers, or her bed, in almost a week.
This was so terrifyingly unlike the woman he knew. The woman who had been stubbornly outrunning trollocs on horseback as a deadly poison coursed through her veins, killing her, mere weeks ago. More than once he’d wondered if perhaps the Dark One had not somehow taken his Moiraine at the Eye and replaced her with this false shadow. Yet every time he met her eyes he knew that it was her. He saw in them their history reflected back at him, the life that they had shared together. That, and the mirror of the pain he felt every waking moment at the loss of their bond.
Light knew she was entitled to break, to utterly shatter, after what she had been through. He did not blame her for that at all. If she had been anyone else he would not have been surprised if they had refused to rise from bed for three months. But she was not anyone else. She was Moiraine.
As long as he had known her she had been a woman of action. A woman who did things. A woman with an almost compulsive need to do things. They had not stopped for twenty years. Not for rest, or pleasure, or grief. The Wheel had assigned them a task, and she would see it done, or see herself broken in the attempt. When she had faced obstacles, or grief, or pain, it had only increased her fervour and her drive, as she pushed through and ignored her own hurts. That had worried him, too, but it had been familiar, and something he had learned how to handle. Now she seemed content to simply sleep through what looked like the end of days and he had no idea how to respond.
Standing guard over her rooms was starting to feel more and more like he was standing vigil at her wake; nothing to protect now but a corpse and a memory.
lolita brand Souffle Song (Neverland) has a new dress with plague doctors on it (currently on preorder)
I’m obsessed. It comes in a short JSK and a full-length long sleeve OP. Unfortunately, it doesn’t come with any matching accessories like a headdress or jewelry.
Brian Jacques looks at a villain in his book series and asks “is anyone gonna drive that creature absolutely insane?” and then doesn’t wait for an answer
I recognize that this is a meme, but back in 2020, I did a reread of all the Redwall books, keeping track of several different factors, including the Villain Madness Level. As it turns out, substantially fewer than 50% of Redwall villains actually go crazy. I don’t have an exact percentage because I didn’t always note individual villains, but it maxes out at 39%, and that’s with counting all the major villains in certain books as one villain, not necessarily because they are one group but because none of them went crazy and I didn’t leave myself more detail. The actual percentage is probably even lower — I’m going to guesstimate 25–30%? It does include some of the most memorable villains, though, so I think this is probably a Spiders Georg situation.
Stupid idea I had for a continuity in which we have a multi-fandom theme week dedicated to writing RPF about our favorite 200-years-dead weirdos:
1. Flash fiction day. Be impulsive. Don’t overthink. Write as the spirit moves.
2. Crossover day. Re-write a scene from one of your favorite Romantic writers in the style of one of their friends. [This exists to encourage AUs of Hugo works as imagined by Dumas.]
3. Sci-fi day. Channel the spirit of being-stuck-in-a-house-with-Byron-is-making-me-reexamine-the-wisdom-of-human-progress and explore contemporary social problems through science fiction.
4. Gothic day. Channel the spirit of being-stuck-in-a-house-with-Byron-is-making-me-codify-a-staple-gothic-horror-trope and explore contemporary social problems through gothic and/or horror writing.
5. Medieval day. Ignore contemporary social problems by blatantly inventing your own version of the past in which there are different social problems.
6. Wordsworth day. Explore the sublimity of nature through poetry or prose. And/or give all your faves flower crowns.
7. Author insert day. Insert your favorite real-life Romantic figure(s) into your favorite fictional Romantic literature. [AKA, ‘wouldn’t it be cool if Borel was suddenly in The Count of Monte Cristo’?]
Screw it, let’s do this.
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley’s birthday in August 30. Mark your calendars for Aug 28-September 2, and let the shenanigans commence.
Fandom week will be @romantic-army. Tag suggestions more than welcome.
I’m really only connected to the Les Mis fandom on tumblr, so if anyone wants to spread this to the other fandoms, please do.
