Why I Think D&D is Great for Women (and People)

But especially women. The only reason I say that is because I am (mostly) female-identifying myself, and so these thoughts are based on my experiences. If you are not female, that isn’t to say that these points won’t apply to you too. In fact, I’d love to hear all your different perspectives.

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FIRST, ADULT FRIENDSHIPS ARE HARD

Personally I’ve found there are two major things that brings adults together as friends. One is drinking (which I don’t do) and the other is university (which I didn’t go to).

D&D gave me the opportunity to meet people and get to know them immediately on an intimate level. I find that how a person plays D&D character is often indicative of what they’re like. None of this small talk of “Oh what do you do for work?” but rather, a genuine look at how an individual person makes choices and handles situations. Even if they aren’t playing a character that’s reflective of themselves, I find it’s still transparent to see their process and how they approach a challenge.

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I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AN ACTRESS/WRITER

But I never did it. I also got a lot of tattoos, which I’ve heard can be a deterrent for new actors.

And I never became a writer, either. I didn’t have the patience for it because it didn’t provide instant gratification.

D&D has allowed me to flex my creativity in both these dreams, and more. I can create fantasy worlds, make friends, and also do a wide range of weird voices.

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IT’S HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH OTHER WOMEN

I’ve never really felt “understood” by most women. I was always slightly off-beat, a little too weird or boyish.

When I started playing D&D though, I realized that these women were my soul mates. They understood my quirkiness, embraced and accepted me. And it felt amazing.

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DICE ARE SHINY AND PRETTY

I think it’s pretty obvious that a lot of the women who play D&D really love dice. They’re like small treasures that are (usually) very reasonably priced and fun to collect.

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WE MUST VENT

Most of the women I’ve spoken to in my lifetime have at one time or another have actually *apologized* to me for expressing their emotions. This is NOT ok. We shouldn’t have to apologize for speaking our feelings, for letting go of our pains by speaking about them.

Unfortunately, for whatever the reason, a lot of women carry an inherent shame (more or less) for expressing emotions in a powerful way, and it makes it more difficult for them to speak about them.

When I get really into a character, I find a way to vent all those feelings - sometimes without even knowing it. My dad didn’t pay attention to me as a kid? I just played a game where my character’s beloved father became charmed and went cold to her. I got to say all those things to him that I still don’t have the courage to say to my dad. Sometimes I just feel more like a boy than a girl? I play lots of games where I can flex that more male persona while I come to terms for what that means in my everyday life.

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SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING IS SO PRETTY THOUGH

From character art & commissions, to mood boards, to dice palettes, to planning exactly how your character looks - D&D provides us a way to play with imaginary dolls and colours and characters all the time!

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And I could probably go on forever, but I’ll leave it there for now. Stay tuned - will probably do a Part 2 at some point

If you’d like to join a very fempowered but all- inclusive server, click the link in my profile for more information and an invite to Axis Tavern: a D&D server offering guilds, games, friendships, and other events.