Y’ALL I HAD MY MIDTERM FOR MY GENETICS CLASS TODAY AND I HAD TWO QUESTIONS WITH THE 100 CHARACTERS HAHAHAH IN ONE OF THEM FINN AND RAVEN WERE MARRIED () AND IN THE OTHER MURPHY AND EMORI HAD A “RESOURCEFULNESS GENE” AND I HAD TO CALCULATE THE PROBABILITY OF THEM PASSING IT ON TO THEIR DAUGHTER LMAOOOO
I’m at mid second season of The 100 and I’m pretty convinced Finn’s gonna die. I mean, when Murphy gotta tell you to chill you really have gone too far
summary : alie gets under the skin of everyone, even the ones who seem the most shut off
warning/s : swearing, depression, talks of miscarriage, and gif not mine, angst
slater’s note : season three truly was the best season. this is… dramatic? it has potential but i gave up.
it was your turn.
alie crossed all of them off like a list. one by one, mind fucking them until they couldn’t handle it.
mind manipulation, you knew all about it and you were certain that it wasn’t something you could be so easily affected by. you had met a lot of people, a lot of boyfriends, and friends, and even your own parents who enjoyed getting into your head with simple words that made you feel guilty or sick to your stomach.
you were sure she couldn’t get into yours.
“hello, sweetheart,” raven quirked her head, already analyzing you and your current mood. “see they finally brought in the big guns.”
you humph in amusement with lips slightly twitching upward as you made your way to one of the boxes that sat close to raven. you were hoping to rest, put your mind to ease as you sat before her, not expecting much to come from her mouth since you were a closed book.
clarke and jasper were practically left open and begging to be read as they sized up to raven with their emotions still filling their eyes to the brim. they were easy targets, easy to tear down, and easy to extract a fit from.
and although bellamy seemed just as shut off as you, hereallywasn’t. bellamy had so many problems shoved in the back of his mind that they begun to pile and overflow. and with anger issues compiled from unsettled issues in his past; he was just as much as an easy target as they were.
everyone hits rock bottom, but not all get to face the humiliation of others also realizing and coming to spit in your face.. a plan alie was hoping to put in motion, she just had to bait you first.
“you’ve always been the smart one,” she slightly twisted her head, raven’s eyes dark and filled with a conscious that wasn’t her own. “always thought for the better of others.. never yourself,” she shook her head and you could tell by the way her eyes slightly squinted she had something up her sleeve.
you were intrigued.
“so.. selfless and yet you’re always blamed for every problem that comes up. why do you let that happen, y/n?”
you tilted your head to the side, not exactly finding truth in the last of her words, you had never felt blamed, and if anyone was a scape goat, it’d be murphy. but you still found yourself listening, eating up the lie like a story.
“which is why i’m confused as to.. why you took the chip..” her face screwed up and at the sudden words you inhaled sharply knowing very well everyone heard her words just as you did. “i mean, y/n, as much as a smart decision that was, it was a rather selfish thing of you to do, don’t you think?”
you kept your mouth shut, knowing this wasn’t the last of her words. she had a plan of some kind, she was still trying to get into your head and she felt so close by the way she had just watched you adjust yourself in the slightest way possible.
“like i said,” you mumbled, “your chip didn’t work.”
“that’s too bad, isn’t it?” she whispered, almost taunting you, “whatever’s hurting you must be something real bad with how braveandstrong you are, or- excuse me, seem to be.”
“someone should go in there,” jasper suddenly stood from his spot at the door, listening in, his mouth beginning to grow dry as he stood up anxiously, looking between bellamy and the rest of your friends listening with just as slack and uncomfortable expressions; taken aback.
he made a move to go in but bellamy quickly stopped him, “just wait.”
“bellamy-”
“but then again, the strongest of us always seem to carry the most. you would know wouldn’t you?”
your mouth twitched from frowning deeper as you thought of all the past torment, from the moment you were born to the moment you landed on the ground.
“shall we talk about why you took the chip?”
“we can talk about whatever you want,” you leaned forward with your elbows on your knees.
this couldn’t get any worse than it already was.
“i want you to choose. bellamy or mount weather?”
you swallowed harshly, but your voice was still stern as you stared as her with narrowed eyes, “neither,” you leaned forward, thinking of the many flaws to weaknesses that centered in your heart just with the those topics. “i want to talk about you, raven, only you.”
“deflecting the question won’t work, y/n,” she almost glared at you, “you said we could talk about what i wanted and now i made a decision; i want to talk about what happened in mount weather after you got shot.”
your face dropped and you didn’t even try to hide it, suddenly remembering exactly what she was talking about and the room suddenly felt hot and you wanted to leave but you felt completely sucked in like she was a vacuum, giving you no choice but to get swallowed.
“you were pregnant, right?” raven’s head dipped to the side, already knowing she had gotten to you despite your face no longer showing a sign of distress. “with a little girl?”
jasper’s gaze landed on the side of bellamy’s jaw, eyes wide, holding his breath, waiting for him to step in, to stop it, do anything but freeze up like a stick, struck dumb with shock.. and hurt and a pain he could distinguish, something he had never felt before to the point he didn’t even know if it was all real.
raven tsk’d, eyes landing on her lap, “such a shame really,” you could see the sick smile that began to climb up her cheeks, making you want to scream, shout, anything to get rid of the pain clawing at your chest. “does bellamy know?” she looks up, as if wanting to really know, as if she hadn’t already knew. “i mean he is the father after all, you think he’d deserve to know.”
he knew now.
“bellamy, do something,” clarke gaped at him, her hand tugging at his arm, begging him to snap out of the trance he was in. “bellamy, you need to go in there. you need to get her out of there.“
“he held you… thinking you’d die, completely unaware of the baby inside that really took the bullet,” raven inhaled, sighing, her head shaking. “that really is sad, i don’t know how you didn’t end it-”
you got up and she smiled, anticipating this moment. but you don’t do what she wished you’d do. you stood calmly, staring deep into her hazel pupils, amusement snowing around, almost encouraging you to inflict pain on her.
“you’re not real,” your voice is low and quiet, “you can’t effect me. you promote a false devotion and promise a final happiness and safety from pain, but you’re flawed and can’t even bring the weak of us down.”
your eyes dart back and forth in search of some emotion in her eyes, but it seems she goes blank and shuts down like a computer until her jaw tips up, pulling closer to your face, whispering back, “you think that you’re so brave, y/n. you think that you’re some courageous soldier just because of the luck you had of showing up in the right place at the right time,” you feel a hand grip your bicep while the other wrapped around your mid section, slowly pulling you away from the words that ran out of her mouth fast, “but you’re wrong, deep down you’re coward just like all your friends and my point is only further proven when you took the chip, because admit it y/n, you’re scared, you’re scared-“
you felt like you had been ripped from a different world once bellamy had spun you around to face him. your body shook internally as realization overcame you of what had all been revealed within that room. bellamy looked scattered as he stared into your eyes with his own wide ones. he didn’t look himself; he looked worried and maybe even sad.
very sad.
"y/n, sit down for me, please,” he grasped your arms lightly, pulling you down on one of the chair slowly and gently, afraid you’d break under his touch. he was completely disoriented and he wasn’t even sure if what was all happening was real.
you stayed blank in the mind, feeling completely drained and distraught to the thought of what was running around in his head right now. it hurt that he now knew everything.
“talk to me,” he slowly kneeled before you, “what- baby, what happened to you?”
you inhaled sharply, the feeling of tears beginning to form in the crest of your eyes as you begun to feel overwhelmed–your chest tightened and it seemed like such a strain on your lungs when you tried to breathe, “bellamy, a lot happened in… mount weather that i can’t even begin to explain. I’m not even sure what was real and what wasn’t.”
“i was in a dark spot,” it was hard to force out and you could barely look him in the eye with the intensity he kept within his pupils. his heart hurt for you and he couldn’t even begin to think straight with all that was revealed with raven. “i can’t think straight half the time, bellamy and after everyone was killed at mount weather.. and i was shot… i didn’t feel like the same person anymore.. nothing felt right…”
you choked. your voice caught in the back of your throat as you attempted to explain yourself but he stopped you, shushing your voice as your tears begun to slowly fall and paint your cheeks. he pulled you close by the back of your neck, stroking his thumb against your scarred skin while the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you to him and his warmth. he held you tightly and so hard, that his ribs hurt but he didn’t care because he was afraid that you’d slip from his grip, like you had before.
but you stayed and you held him just as tight, allowing yourself to sink, because this was the only thing that truly felt right.
