“what’s wrong?” you were drawn away from your thoughts, glancing to raven. her hands tightly gripped the steering wheel of the rover while looking to you in a slightly anxious manner. “you haven’t spoken the whole ride.”
kane had gotten a call about twenty minutes ago about there being a breach and half the guard team was already gone. there was no one to cover the call except you.
“i got this,” you were already slinging on your guard jacket before kane could say anything, he had never intended on you hearing the beep in but there you were with your eager eyes and ease dropping ears.
he frowned, shaking his head, “no, it’s too dangerous out there.”
you looked at kane dumbfounded, your frown curving deeper into your cheeks making you look older and increasing the darkness within your features, “i can handle myself out there.”
he knew you could, he wasn’t worry about that. kane was more concerned about reasons he wasn’t about to speak aloud, especially to your face in fear of risking setting you off.
“you’re not going.”
“kane,” you gave him a pointed look, shoving your gun in the loop of your belt. you continued to defy him, causing his stomach to wrench up, he didn’t want to yell at you. “i can handle myself out there.”
“if you go,” he began too slowly cave from his original statement, leaning against metal table separating the two of you, “i want someone out there with you.”
“bellamy isn’t here.”
bellamy was always your scout partner when either one of you were sent out of arkadia to scope out whatever needed to be scoped out. both of you would have been well enough without one another but it was always nice to have company, especially company like bellamy’s.
“you’re going with me, sweetheart,” raven appeared out of nowhere, patting your back as she begun to climb in the driver seat of the rover with a slight struggle due to her leg.
you almost resisted the urge to clench your jaw too hard. you loved raven but you would really preferred to take this trip alone, especially after what had happened last time; you were with miller, completely throwing you off due to him having a completely different style when it came to scouting arkadia outer grounds than bellamy.
bad things happened.
“bellamy?”
you had turned head rather fast, now holding eye contact with the hazel eyed girl, her nervousness had eased off as if coming to the conclusion to your quietness.
“what?”
“you’d rather be with bellamy, right?”
“i’d rather be by myself,” you grumbled, sulking deeper into the passenger seat. you felt guilty for doing so, raven had nothing to do with your own problems but you really would rather be alone with how everyone had been treating you recently.
“too bad.”
once you had arrived upon the breach you had gotten out of the car rather fast with your hand clutching the hand gun looped with your belt tightly, making it hard for raven to keep up, seeing the determination within your steps.
“slow down, cowgirl,” she yelled after you, almost tripping multiple times as she tried to increase her pace. “there’s no rush.”
“this is ice nations sector, reyes,” you called back, “there is no time to slow down.”
you broke through a large section of trees and branches soon revealing a scene that took you by surprise. it made you raise your gun just as quick as you had gasped.. and soon raven ended up in the same position of surprisal.
before the two of you, bellamy and octavia were knocked out propped up against a tree tied together while a man who’s face was painted white pointed his staff toward you in threat. you kept your composure at the sight with your gun still held in height of his head.
“don’t shoot.”
“you’re not helping.”
“y/n, don’t. don’t do something domb,” her voice rang through your ears and you suddenly felt hot and your head felt light with pressure spiking, making the rest of your body feel numb. “y/n?”
“reyes, go.”
“you’re about to do something you’re going to regret.”
“you’re about to do something you’re going to regret.”
your vision cleared and became leveled with a man from trikru. his smile was strange and split and made your head spin with uncomfortableness.
hehad you surrounded. you and miller.
“you’re not going to shoot me.”
“try me,” you narrowed your brows as you looked between him and to the men next to him, as you were sure miller was doing the same but to the men he was facing. the two of you were back to back, guns raised high in defense.
“we don’t mean any harm,” miller’s voice butts in and he tries to reason as his voice calls to the man you were talking to. you clenched your jaw, miller was almost making you both look foolish. “just let us go.”
“oh i’ll let you go. it’s her that’s gotta stay.”
“i’ll shoot you.”
“those are some powerful words,” he shifts towards you and you’re quick to cock the gun. he flinches but smiles as he still makes small movements toward you till you just… shot him, setting off a chain reaction of the rest of the men launching toward you.
and bang, bang, bang—three more bodies dead on the ground with your simple aim and no hesitation.
miller only injured the other two with a look on his face that you wouldn’t forget. he looked at you, with an almost petrified expression—one that read he couldn’t believe what you had just done.
“we need to go.”
“we need to go.”
you were being shaken lightly until your eyes pealed open fast, meeting the feeling of bellamy’s hand lightly holding your face with an urgent look on his own, looking all around before back to your face, “c’mon, get up, kid. we’ve got to go.”
he pulls you to your feet fast where raven and octavia are already hauling it to the rover and the man from ice nation laid on the ground, dead.
“please tell me that wasn’t me.”
“don’t worry,” bellamy gripped your arm while pushing you to go faster toward the rover. right before the man knocked octavia and him out, it wasn’t just him, there was at least two more. they must have gone scavenging, leaving that man to himself, which in hindsight wasn’t smart at all to leave one against two.
“you passed out,” raven looked back to you from her position in the drivers seat. “i think you’re under a lot of stress.”
no kidding.
you glanced to bellamy who was already looking to you and you half expected him to lecture you, like he always did, especially with the look on his face. he was always so adamant with keeping yourself stable, to take breaks, and make sure you were always alright—especially when situations got tough. but right now he didn’t, he kept his mouth shut.
you and bellamy were very similar. he knew it too and it scared him, because he didn’t want any of the things that ran through his mind, going through your own. you were both very self destructive and that wasn’t something he realized until mount weather—a point in time where he learned a lot about you.
“what’re we going to do?” octavia looked to raven who was still breathless, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
she could barely think straight without her mind straying to ten minutes before, “we go to kane, we tell him what happened and we continue on with our day. this isn’t the first time irrational decisions have gotten the best of us.”
she resisted looking at you, but she didn’t have to in order for you to know she was halfway referring to you.
you tipped your head back in despair, wishing you could redo the past month.
* *
“explain to me how a scouting mission ends up with someone dead,” you bit your tongue, already feeling a harsh lecture coming as kane stared at raven gingerly who was barely keeping her composure. she was very fiery whenever it came to discussions like this and defending her own, but the dead body must have thrown her off.
“listen, bellamy and octavia were both in danger-“
“doesn’t give us a right to kill ice nation’s people. our pact with them is barely hanging on by a thread.”
“we didn’t mean for this to happen, kane,” you spoke, defending raven from the rouse he was pressuring raven with, but you instantly regretted it when he looks to you, like he hadn’t even noticed you yet.
“you killed four grounders, y/n. you understand that right? and now you go and kill someone apart of ice nation. do you understand what that does to us?” kane’s expression and words catch you off gaurd and cause your chest to tighten. he was never someone you expected to be so jarring. he had been giving you the benefit of the doubt for the past month, so seeing him snap so fast took you aback. “you’ve become unhinged. you don’t think straight anymore.”
“she didn’t kill him,” bellamy takes a step in front of you out of instinct.
“then who did?” he raises his voice, “because i’m looking between all four of you right now and only one of you is coming out as a valid option.”
“it was all three of us,” octavia speaks, “y/n, got knocked out before she could do anything. like you said, she hasn’t been thinking straight lately because she’s been under a lot of pressure.”
you could tell kane didn’t believe a word she said by the way he paused, clenching his jaw. it was looking like they were only trying to cover for you right now, and you couldn’t blame him.
“i can’t deal with this right now, we’ll talk about this later.”
* *
“he’s going to kick me from camp.”
you sat on bellamy’s bed as he begun to change from his disoriented attire from earlier that day. after abby had patched him up from the gash he had on the side of his head and made sure you were still doing alright, you both begun to talk about the past month, essentially leading back to kane.
you felt you hadn’t seen bellamy in forever, and it was practically true due to kane setting you both up with different guard partners and assigning you both to tasks at different times for the past five weeks. hence, how you got mixed up with miller in the first place.
it was almost as if it was purposeful…
“he’s not going to kick you from camp.”
“he has no reason not to.”
“y/n, why would he?”
“i killed people, bellamy,” you looked at him, dumbfounded. “for no reason.”
“for good reason,” he corrected you, now kneeling before you. “kane is under a lot of pressure right now, and what happened to you didn’t help. he’s worried about a lot of things, and he doesn’t want to worry about you.”
“he said i’m unhinged.”
“we all are,” he squeezed your knee, getting back to his feet. “you need to stop worrying. you did nothing wrong today.”
“what do you think he’s going to say later?” you questioned.
“stop worrying, princess,” he gave you a pointed look. “what’s the worse that can happen?”
* *
“i don’t want either of you to be partners, you’re both bad for each other. i’ve realized that now for the past two months,” kane folded his hands, delivering the worse news before you and bellamy. “y/n, i was in between full suspension and two week suspension from your position, it’s up to you.”
you looked a kane with narrowed brows, completely dumbfounded and not knowing what to say. you should have seen it coming, he had been preparing the two of you for this by scheduling you both different times and you felt like a fool for not realizing it till now.
“kane, that is irrational,” bellamy shook his head, “we’re both your best and you’re going to risk it over her messing up once. i can hardly see how we’re bad for each other, when we get things done better than any one else on the guard.”
“once is enough.”
you frowned hard, “the only reason i messed up was because i was with miller. because you scheduled me with him. bellamy is not the reason i shot trikru. miller just threw me off because i’m not used to the way he clears.”
kane shook his head, “you shouldn’t be like that. you’re a guard, y/n, you should be prepared for anything, not ‘thrown off’ just because miller runs a totally different route than you and bellamy.”
you couldn’t believe him, “you can’t be serious. kane, you have my answer, you can implement a full suspension.. or whatever,” you rolled your eyes, getting to your feet but bellamy’s quick to pull you back down in your seat.
“she gets a different partner or full suspension, you can expect the same thing from me,” he pressed his lips into a thin line knowing kane wouldn’t accept that. bellamy was the best they had, and without him, the ark would most likely fail.
“you can’t do that,” kane shakes his head, “bellamy.”
“then you fix this,” he still held your wrist as he spoke with a stern tone, “you suspend her two weeks, but you keep her my partner, you schedule us same time like how it used to be. otherwise you lose the both of us.”
bellamy didn’t understand how kane didn’t realize that you were only under the right mindset when with him. you were irrational with unfamiliarity, it something about that, that freaked you out, but with bellamy, there was a level of control and focus that he could only bring.
kane look hesitant, glancing between the two of you before focusing on bellamy, “you keep her tame then.”
a deal was made. you were kept partners with bellamy but you still couldn’t help but be angered by the way they spoke like you weren’t there. you were happy with the outcome and you were sure the only reason it happened was because bellamy did all the talking.
“you owe me.”
you rolled your eyes, “you did yourself a favor.”
bellamy scoffed, his eyebrow curving, “really?”
“you know you couldn’t survive a day without me on the job.”
“funny,” he shook his head, “because i was thinking the same thing about you.”
you smiled, but hesitated, “thank you. you saved my ass, again.”
“you’re good, you just owe me,” he winked, “now get ready for your shift.”
