Y’ALL I HAD MY MIDTERM FOR MY GENETICS CLASS TODAY AND I HAD TWO QUESTIONS WITH THE 100 CHARACTERS HAHAHAH IN ONE OF THEM FINN AND RAVEN WERE MARRIED () AND IN THE OTHER MURPHY AND EMORI HAD A “RESOURCEFULNESS GENE” AND I HAD TO CALCULATE THE PROBABILITY OF THEM PASSING IT ON TO THEIR DAUGHTER LMAOOOO
summary: in which being bellamy’s best friend can cause a lot of trouble especially when it’s known camp wide and especiallywhen there’s a fugitive on the loose
warning/s: swearing, season one asshole murphy, bellamy almost dying, hurt feelings, off script because i don’t remember like anything from season one
slater’s note: WOOHOO BELLAMY SZN
“where’s bellamy?”
octavia froze at the sound of your voice, her back slightly straightening up as her hand gripped the walkie in her hand tighter. you could see the strain in her knuckles as they turned white, causing you to furrowed your eyebrows, walking closer to her, trying to get sight of her eyes, but she had them closed, tightly, and she didn’t want to open them.
“y/n…”
“octavia, where’s bellamy?”
she had finally opened them up with a sigh, peaking into your own with hesitation and nervousness. it made your facial features tighten together with the sudden pain filling feeling in your stomach.
it couldn’t be good. something was definitely wrong with the way octavia seemed to have made no move to unscrew her mouth—but instead made her eyes speak for her. they slowly dragged from yours to the drop ship where the door was closed.
“what’s going on?” you shifted away from her slowly, eyes beginning to search the small crowd that filled around the drop ship, all equally uneasy. “where’s bellamy?”
“murphy’s back.”
you frowned deeply at the answer coming from a boy who stared at you anxiously, like saying those words would set you off. it only led you deeper into your confusion before you began to connect two and two together, your eyes immediately falling back in line with the metal machine.
“murphy, open up!” you had stormed closer, banging your fist against the usual large opening that was now closed, shielding away any activity that took place inside, most likely including harm towards your best friend.
murphy smirked from the inside, looking to bellamy who froze, his eyes slowly glazing up the drop ship door.
it was a bad idea.
bellamy almost begged for murphy to ignore your calls, shaking his head with hard eyes that said he would regret it if he made a move to open up that metal door.
“murphy, don’t.”
“murphy let me in!”
he smirked, his eyes going back and forth between the two of you before finalizing on bellamy, “you forget, bellamy,” he smirked, “i’m the one in charge here.”
murphy then lifted his walkie, “i’ll let her in, just make her drop her weapons.”
octavia abruptly glanced down at the walkie she had at hand, her stomach beginning to twist again as she looked back up to you. your eyes met and you dropped nothing despite holding a small knife in the back of your belt.
she nodded to you, hesitant, before speaking in the walkie talkie, “she’s ready.”
“no, murphy, don’t open that goddamn door,” bellamy’s look hardened, “she didn’t do anything, please.”
he smirked, “i like it when you beg, bellamy… makes me feel powerful.”
he slapped the button to open the drop ship door, not breaking his eye contact with bellamy who clenched his jaw, glaring.
“awh, princess, nice of you to join us, go sit down by your pal bellamy,” he held the gun loosely, pointing at you to the spot he wanted you at. it made you raise your hands quickly in response, almost flinching away from him even though he was no where close to you. it made him smile in response, “what, did your parents hit you as a kid? go sit down.”
you glanced to bellamy, who was trying not to break the blank expression on his face, trying to hide the fact that he cared so much. bellamy’s feelings and emotions could only get him in so much more trouble from here on out.
“now tie these up,” he tossed a bunch seatbelts towards bellamy after once again closing the drop ship door. “i want you to tie her up so she can watch you hang.”
you glanced up to the boy who looked down to you before looking to the seatbelts in his hands, gripping them tightly for a moment before looking back to you.
when you landed on earth, you were attracted to bellamy right away and the big brother atmosphere he gave off… and even though he already had a younger sister, he took you in like another. he was the fastest friend you had ever made—well the only one actually. he made stupid decisions but he did it all in thought for his own safety… for your safety.
you were his right hand man.
you stared up to the man with helpless eyes, you couldn’t give him anything and he almost winced back because of it. he almost had expected you to have a plan, but with marching in here without a gun and only going by the second, you couldn’t offer anything. and the knife hidden within your belt could only go so far.
“i want you to hang, bellamy.”
“murphy, listen-“ you spoke fast in fear but were cut off fast.
“shut up,” murphy spoke quickly, practically lashing out and over into your direction, “i’m tired of you having yourbitchtalk for you, trying to get you out of shit that you're bound to end up in.”
fast into your friendship you caught up onto feelings that you didn’t seem coming. you devoted yourself to him because of it, because you were practically in love with the boy—and blind. but it felt wrong… and you figured you wouldn’t do anything about the feelings, not wanting to risk anything.
murphy sighed as he analyzed the two of you all paused from making any moves, staring right back at him in caution, “get tying before i shoot.”
you looked back up to bellamy right away, watching him begin to tie slowly before kneeling down before you. you almost shook your head frantically in disagreement, knowing if he tied you up it’d put you in a worser situation than you already were in.
he gave you a pointed look in return, “trust me.”
you practically stared at him in disbelief but relentlessly gave up, slowly giving him your hands paired together. what could he possibly do now?
“behind the back, bellamy,” murphy dumbfounded, “none of that bullshit.”
you could see a visible cringe as bellamy looked back up from the tying, clenching his jaw before moving behind you. he pulled your arms gently and began to tie once more with nervous hands.
murphy’s eyes connected with yours in the process and a sudden smirk came upon his face as if remembering something. you wouldn’t lie—it scared you the moment he tipped his jaw up and spoke, “let’s tell a story, one i think you’ll like, y/n. it’s about your friend bellamy.”
you could feel the boy freeze from behind you, looking up from his work, glaring with being unknowing to this story.
“not really a story just—i mean i don’t know enough so i think bellamy should tell it himself,” he finally met eyes with him, “how was fucking reyes?”
of course.
of fucking course he knew.
“i can’t remember if this was before or after you found out y/n likes you?” he tipped his head in an increase of confidence, “remind me, i’m foggy on all the details.”
you felt your chest tighten uncomfortably to the point you swore it’d explode—break—crack—cause you further pain, but it stayed in the same repetitive strain that made you choke.
“alright, that’s enough,” bellamy stood.
“woah, woah, sense when did i say you could stand. sit back down blake,” he moved toward bellamy as well, challenging him while making it obvious that he still held that gun. “now fill our friend in, i’m sure she’d love to know.”
you gaze up to him, suppressing any emotion to overcome your face. you couldn’t even fess up what you even felt. bellamy looked down to you, a look of sympathy striking his features before looking back up to murphy, “this doesn’t need to happen.”
“it’s too late for that,” he nodded, sure of himself, his face going blank but his eyes filling with anger, “you know on second thought, i want you to hang now,” he nodded toward the noose that was already tied and hung perfectly with a stool underneath it.
“go on,” he nodded again and bellamy had no choice but to take a step onto the stool and place his head through the rope of seatbelts after a long period of hesitation and looking between you and murphy.
“murphy, please,” your eyes went wide at him, sporting an innocences that looked strange on you. “don’t do this.”
“why shouldn’t i?” he seemed to slant back, looking amused, “huh, y/n? i mean you seem to know bellamy so well, why don’t you enlighten me. why should i let your boyfriend live?”
you kept your mouth shut with finding no valid reason as to why murphy would let bellamy live. what he did was unforgivable and if you were in murphy’s position, you would have allowed your anger to get the best of you and…
“look, murphy, i understand that you’re feeling angry right now-“
“understand?” he scoffed, moving closer to you before bending down so his face was close to yours, “you don’t even remotely understand what i feel right now.”
he was so on edge and unstable that you could see it through his pupils. he wanted revenge—you’d have to be dumb to not realize it, but there was something else. he was spiraling, his mind was racing, and you could see his emotions leaking from little spaces on his face.
“this won’t help, murphy, believe me. having bellamy hang won’t help you feel any better.”
“i think it will,” he smiled blandly, “see, me and bellamy, we’re not the same,” he shook his head, looking off a little. “you may be able to convince bellamy of anything, but not me. you can’t get him out of this one.”
“you want to bet?” you finally untangled yourself from the tie around your wrists that you had been working in for the past couple of minutes, reaching forward and stabbing the knife from your belt in his shoulder.
it had to be luck or just amazing timing because the minute murphy shrunk back, grabbing his arm where the weapon stuck out, octavia came rushing in as did the rest of the camp, ready to put him down.
**
“i need to talk to you,” bellamy’s rough hand clasped your shoulder from where you sat on the drop ship table, waiting for clarke to come back. his touch made you tense up before slightly easing back into a slouch, looking up to the man who had a look on his face you were unfamiliar with.
“okay,” you look at him curiously, hoping off the surface of the table before moving with him toward the corner.
he seems hesitant, his eyes not meaning yours as he thinks of how to speak without overstepping on something, “i need you to understand that i would never hurt you,” he looks at you sadly, his eyes piercing yours, wanting you to listen and understand even if you shouldn’t. “i didn’t think and i will forever regret that, especially after today.”
you hated that you had to listen to his apology, mainly because you felt you hadn’t even had enough time to process it all.
“i take you for granted,” his lips pressed into a thin line and his hand reached for your forearm, grasping it lightly. “i care about you, a lot.” his stare is pointed and hard, almost as if forcing you to understand this, to accept this, “i’m sorry.”
“bellamy, you don’t-“
“you saved my ass today,” he cut you off, seeming to ignore you completely while changing his tone. “again.”
you stared at him with a lost expression and he finally looked at you, finally, with a look that’d you accept. he stared at you softly, smiling hopelessly, before leaning in toward you, pressing a kiss on your cheek, “i’ll forever be in debt to you.”
athena had dreamt of death many times. even in the youngest of her years she wondered what it felt like, what would be the cause, and whether it’d be untimely. she thought about it so much, it didn’t even scare her.
but once the apocalypse had hit and people started dropping left from right, athena’s deathly dreams had increased as well as worries and concerns of death being untimely and true, until it just… stopped. she got used to it; the feeling of being terrorized.
now, the boy before her smiled making her feel terrorized. a horrible feeling swelling to the core of her chest, warm but aching as she gripped her gun tighter in hopes he’d just go away, he’d leave her alone.
but he didn’t move and it was silent until he speaks words she knows are bullshit;
“i don’t intend on hurting you, athena,” his rough voice blended well with the cracking of the fire, the soft light climbing up the front of his face, illuminating his tan and freckles and every scar that complimented his face more than it should have.
“then leave.”
he smiled, dimples piercing the corner of his cheeks while he tilted his head to the side, “now why would i do that?”
“because i’m not scared to fucking shoot you.”
“you wouldn’t want to do that,” his smiled increased in taunt, feeling he now had the upper hand even if she had the gun. “especially when i have something you want.”
athena’s eyebrows narrowed as she stared at him more closely now. what could she possibly want from him?
“i’ll make a deal with you.”
“a deal?” she raised her brow, a feeling of deep amusement entering her stomach as she slightly tilted her head to the side, watching him even more carefully now.
“yes, a deal,” he cut her off before she make a smart remark or shoot him down. “i promise, it’s worth your while.”
“why?”
"because i promise you, i know what you want and i can get it to you,” his eyebrows slightly raising and his tone slowing. there was something about it that made her want to fall into that, trust that, but that’s what seemed so untrusting about it—all too well rehearsed. “trust me.”
silence, until she inhales and narrows her brows, “how do you know what i want?”
“because you want what everyone else does in this world.”
“and what’s that?” she motioned for him to continue.
“safety, shelter, food, water,” he motioned, “reassurance that you’ll wake up in the morning.”
“and you have all that?” she quirked a brow finding that hard to believe.
“no, not yet.”
“but you’re saying you can give that all to me?”
he nodded his head.
she gave in, “what do you want?”
“terminus.”
she frowned harder at the name, knowing very well what he was talking about, “what do i have to offer you?”
“the way. for the past week you have been making it impossible for me to find it,” a sound of fake grief comes over his voice and look of strategy comes into clarity, “you’re the one who’s been tearing the maps down, right?”
athena felt her stomach sink deeper at his question. just the thought that he had been watching her long enough to know that and she didn’t spot him once—terrified her. she kept her mouth shut, once again unsure about his motive and unsure of his nature. even if he wanted her, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt her.
“right,” he nodded to himself, “i know you know the way. you must with the amount of maps and pieces of paper you pull off and burn. just, why?”
she hated that question, she didn’t even know how to answer that in the first place.
“you must have a good reason, athena.”
she clenched her jaw. she felt her head would explode if he stayed any longer, “you follow the train tracks.”
“what-“
“you follow the tracks and you get where you need to be,” she mumbled, “there, i gave you what you wanted, now go.”
“i’m afraid that’s not the deal,” he tsked, tipping his head a bit, “that’s not what i want, you know that. hell, you haven’t even got what you want.”
she stood suddenly, now being more firm with her aim as she had her gun right back pointed at bellamy, “i want you to leave.”
“now, you don’t want that,” he stood, mirroring her, causing a spike of anxiety to strike her chest. “c’mon now, athena. tell me, why did you take those maps down?” his conversation was all over and she wonder if that was to distract her from him inching closer.
“afraid, are you?” he wasn’t even across from the fire now, but almost within arm length.
“why would i be?”
“you tell me,” he reached out to take the gun but she yanked with a pull of the trigger, missing, but bellamy wasn’t aware as he tackled her body to the ground, now fighting her for the gun.
they were rolling in the dirt now in fight for the gun and for a pin but it seemed she wouldn’t win either one, especially once he had her pushed further into the hard ground with the pressure of his hands pinning her arms by her head and his body overall overweighting hers.
“this isn’t a fight you’ll win.”
“try me,” she grunted, attempting to grasp for the gun inches away from her hand, but her world went dark before she could find any redemption.
**
she prayed she wasn’t dead. for once, she wished she wasn’t dead.
and she wasn’t.
the clear sweet noise of birds eased her awake but quickly swayed her into an aching feeling that resonate at the side of her skull. a sudden wave of hot flashes over came her and she suddenly felt sick to her stomach as she tried her best to sit up from her position on the cold hard ground. 
she doesn’t even think of last night till she hears the whistling and everything crashes back to her like a fall. she eased her hand to her head and the feeling of dry blood knitting up her hair kisses her finger tips and she cringes harder, the feeling of the stranger hitting her with a hidden gun, renews, and it makes her groan.
“you’re awake.”
she grunts in reply, now gaining feeling in her arms and legs as she pushes her self to sit up right, now leaned against a tree, trying to clear her eyes.
“i didn’t mean to hit you so hard,” he leans down and her vision suddenly clears once his hand pushes against the side of her head, looking to the small head wound, “you just wouldn’t listen.”
she leans away from his touch, the inside of her head screaming for her to sock him in the face but she knows better and it wouldn’t go well, especially with him having the upper hand.
“i need you to know that i won’t be leaving you until you shake my hand and make a deal with me.”
she narrows her brows, still clasping the side of her head. she wanted to swear at him but there was some strange force that was keeping her grounded and comfortable—something that was telling her the stranger in front of her wasn’t a threat.
“fine, as long as you don’t fucking hit me upside the head that hard again,” she eyes him roughly, now pushing herself to her feet. “jesus.”
he leans away from her, slightly smiling at her grumbling, reminding him of his sister. he watches her walk over to where her bag was with a slight tip in her step making it obvious that she was still out of it from the hit. he knew she wouldn’t try to run, not in the dizzy state she was in, there was something reassuring him of it.
“my name is bellamy by the way.”
athena sighed, beginning to dig in her bag for the one thing that’d get him out of her hair, “well, bellamy, you’re a fucking ass.”
he laughs dryly, still leaned by the spot she was previously at until he got to his feet, now turning to lean on the tree with his arms crossed.
“you want to get to terminus, you’re going to need a map,” athena turned, now facing bellamy and holding out a folded piece of paper she was saving for herself. “there are many different ways to get there but i’m still not sure if there’s a there to get to.”
terminus had honestly seemed too good to be true—hence why she was so skeptical of its existence. athena had put it on the bottom of her bucket list especially after hearing all the bad rumors of it from a woman she used to trade with, deciding it’s discovery could wait. but maybe she’d know sooner rather than later.
now seeing bellamy in light was strange. although he was equally as appealing as in the dark, his features looked more sharper and striking. the hard look on his face made her stomach tumble as she handed the map to him and he took it hesitantly, “i was hoping to clear it myself but.. seems like you’ll get there before i ever will.”
“this wasn’t our deal.”
“we made no deal,” she moves away from him with a shift backwards on her feet, “don’t take offense to this bellamy, but i don’t want to travel with you, especially after this blood wound on my head.”
“you’re not going to get there on your own, athena. there are a lot more people scarier than i am and who will do a lot more than hit you with a gun,” he throws the map to her feet. “i want you to take me there yourself.”
“i’m not going,” she sat herself down, “i changed my mind and i changed it awhile ago. you can’t make me go anywhere near that place.”
bellamy clenches his jaw and a sudden twist of anger overcomes him as he feels as though all his options had ran out and away from him. he sat down quickly next to her, shifting back and forth, looking for her eyes that were fixated on the ground.
“my group got split up a month ago and before that we were planning to make our way to terminus. i can only assume that that’s where they’re going and therefore where i have to go,” the tone of his voice is hard, making him sound like he was all business oppose to playful—something it was last night. “the only problem is i can’t go because i don’t where it is and your map doesn’t reassure anything.”
she tips her head back, eyeing him closely and the sudden new persona of his that actually made her uneasy and want to surrender.
“i don’t trust you, athena, as i’m sure you don’t of me,” he leans closer to her, now whispering, “that’s why you’re coming with me.”
“or what?”
it was one question. simple. something that couldn’t hurt but the taunting tone and the way she leaned in real close to him didn’t help the discomposed feeling building up in his chest.
“i’ll kill you,” he mumbles, “for real this time, i won’t just hit you upside the head, i’ll kill you but you won’t get the pleasure of being buried underground like that man you shot last night. you’ll be left for the walkers.”
silence.
“you act like death would be so scary,” athena presses on with her own threat, her nose almost touching against his, “i have seen many men like you bellamy. men who think a bullet couldn’t stop them until they’re proved wrong with the gun i carry and the no hesitation policy i have. you don’t scare me.”
it seemed like routine now and she wasn’t surprise when he pulled the gun on her, pressing it up to her throat, “you have a brave mouth.”
“you can’t keep waving your gun like you’ll shoot me,” she glared at him, “if you need me so bad, why shoot me?”
“i can’t have you going around telling people about me and the things i want, athena.”
“paranoid, aren’t you, bellamy?” she shoved on top of him, landing the both them on the ground, fumbling for the gun that he kept a tight grip on. he was persistent and was already rolling on top of her—once again with the upper hand.
her mind was racing and the feeling of his body weight pressing against her caused significant anxiety and adrenaline that made her heart scream to move but he got up before she could do anything in response to it.
“knock it off,” he towered over her, his arm outstretched and pointed with the handgun to her body that still lied on the ground helplessly.
“bellamy, please, bellamy,” a sudden franticness overcame her as his tall figure now had the higher ground—she begs, begs for her life with the reality that hits the situation, “please—”
his eyes soften, images flicking between his sister and her. so much alike, both still so innocent no matter how hard they try to put up a wall of steel and strong hearted faces.
“athena—“
except his sister and athena weren’t alike at all. athena held no sympathy for him, she didn’t fear him, and she just wanted to live. that’s why she quickly slipped her foot from underneath him causing his hefty body to crash against the forest floor, leaves and branches crunching beneath him.
bellamy’s gun skipped away from him like a rock on water, as he had let go of it in surprise. she was quick, climbing on top of him just to grab the gun like a reflex.
and just as bellamy had processed what had exactly happened and that he was no longer on the higher ground, she was already straddling his waist, leaned back, hair ripped from her already messy pony tail with the barrel of the gun filling most of his eyesight.
“you don’t have to do this-“
“it’s you or me, right?” she breathes unsteadily, still trying to catch her breath, “only one really entitled for this world.”
“athena, i am just trying to survive, just like you,” his hands are up midair, his head bobbing up and down, struggling to keep it up, wanting to see her, “you’d do the same thing-“
“shut up,” she huffs, “you don’t get to tell me what i’d do. you don’t know me.”
“and you don’t know me,” he shoved himself up fast, pulling out a blade she had never seen before and slicing the sharp edge into her shoulder. “i always get what i want.”
athena let out a loud yelp, her hand pressing against the large gash that had immediately started staining her top with liquid red. her breathing became labored as she stared over to him, feeling even more woozy than when she had woken up.
“you underestimate what i can do, athena. you don’t realize i’m not like all those men you claim to put bullets in,” he’s out of breath himself, pushing to his feet before nabbing the gun she held. “and like you, i also have a no hesitation policy.”
he rose the gun and pulled the trigger before making one swift swing to the side of her head causing everything to go dead and black.
about. bellamy and reader share a close moment–just in case it’s their last.
warnings.swearing, walking dead x the 100 crossover,
ricky rocks. hate this. didn’t know what to do with it. anyways i miss octavia.
the sun was just barely reaching over the mountain tops, allowing a thin layer of light to turn alexandria blue with hope and coldness.
bellamy was up, he had to be up, he had hardly slept. he had in fact just rustled his eyelids closed when the illuminating sun woke him back up to his troubled mind, peaking through his bedroom window, giving light to his face.
the low sun highlighted his tan features and every detail that wrung along his bones. his freckles, his cheekbones, his jawline, his scars. everything. it all looked so perfect within that moment, so raw and fresh from the shower he had taken the night before. something you loved about the morning, observing him, running your fingers about him, but sadly, you missed that moment.
bellamy sighed, slowly untangling himself from his sheets and your arms, forcing his feet to hit the cool wooden floor of his room with his forearms leaning against his knees.
everything was just a nightmare.
there was a soft knock that echoed through the practically empty room causing bellamy to turn, his eyes going between you and the door.
you didn’t even stir.
he heard the click of the door, before it slowly opening and raven’s face peaking between the crack. her facial expression looked exhausted, as if she had gotten just as much sleep as bellamy did.
she didn’t entertain any usual amusement nor smile on her face when her eyes met his. she looked dead and it made him frown deeper at the realization that this beginning war was really affecting them all.
“rise and shine,” she whispered, “we have a day ahead.”
we have a day ahead.
you woke up in a cold bed without bellamy. sheets all scrunched up and pulled down to the foot of the bed on his side, leaving nothing.
it made you panicked, you’re eyes reaching anywhere and everywhere before hitting the window, a light blue peaking past the curtain, making your stomach dip.
the realization of what day it was filled your mind causing a sinking feeling in your head, panic erupting everywhere in your body as you got up quickly and searched for a fresh pair of clothes.
it was a day of war.
you all had been waiting for this day so eagerly, wanting it to be over with, but now, you wished it was days before where you were sitting on the nice living room couch that didn’t belong to you, thinking anxious little thoughts about how this day would go about.
bellamy had told you not to worry.
he had claim you’d be safe, he’d keep you safe. but not only that, you had another thing going for you. the straight fact that negan wanted you. he wouldn’t harm you if he believed you had something he wanted, whatever that would be.
that was the one thing you had going for you and you couldn’t help but be scared even more with the frightful thoughts that ran through your head, patronizing you and filling your brain with what ifs and possibilities.
“you let me sleep in?”
bellamy looked over his shoulder to meet your eyes, his lips were pressed into a thin line as he turned away from miller and the rest of the guarding crew, causing them to walk off with his final command.
his features softened at the sight of you, his hand laying against the crook of your back. he looked sympathetic and tired and old. it was as if the planning of this war had taken away the young boy from his eyes, leaving grey and sorrow.
“you need it.”
“you more than me.”
“some things need to get done,” he tried hard to suppress the pointed look he was about to give you, his hand still around you lowly. “we’re running out of time.”
“we’ve been out of time for awhile, it’s just now finally catching up to us,” octavia’s hard tone fills your ears as she hauls a large amount of rifles and weapons covered by a thick brown cloth. cuts scraped her face and dark circles outlined the bottom of her eyes, all youth gone just like her brother. “it’s time to sharpen up. lexa said he should be here soon.”
the both of you looked to her, analyzing the hard stare she had on her face, looking as if she was the one in command–which you wouldn’t be completely against. she was ready, she wanted blood.
“did you sleep?”
“what do you think?” her tone was harsh and she doesn’t think twice about it even as she noticed the wince on bellamy’s face. “this has been the only thing i could think about for the past week…” her eyes hit the ground, her mind going elsewhere as she pauses, slightly shaking her head, “people are going to die and it won’t be me, but i fear..” pause, inhale, her head jerks back up and her eyes meet yours.
she doesn’t say anything but that seems to be enough.
octavia walks away with an urgency in her step, deciding it’d be best she helped the guard instead of putting the two of you in any more of a troubled mindset. she was like a bomb, she had a lot on her chest, and it had only built up with the more time she had spent with lexa. lexa had filled her head with worries of you and the rest of alexandria.
“she’s not in the best state of mind.”
“well, none of us are,” you mumbled, watching her go, “but i would assume she’s in the best. at least better than us.”
bellamy didn’t watch octavia, he watched you. his heart ached as it felt like someone was twisting it. he wanted reassurance. reassurance to your safety, but it was too late for that and the more the minutes went by the more he regretted not taking lexa’s offer on protecting you at hilltop.
it was too late now.
“you shouldn’t worry.”
he grunted in response, almost scoffing at how ridiculous that statement was.
“we’ll figure it out,” you look up to him, “i promise, bellamy. we always figure it out, everything always ends up alright.”
“until we screw ourselves over once again,” he shook his head in sadness despite the sick smile on his face–one that wasn’t intentional. he was just so tired.
“hey,” your hand reached to the side of his face, “everything will be fine.”
“bellamy, we need you,” the two of you look to miller who looks anxious, his head jerking toward the front gate and a sudden feeling of grief takes over, fearing the worst that time had finally come.
bellamy seems to move fast as he takes ahold of you tightly with one arm wrapped around your waist while the other was around your neck, “don’t worry,” his mouth is right by your ear and his voice is too uneasy to make you not worry. “nothings going to touch you. not over my dead body and most likely, not even octavia’s.”
you laughed a sad laugh as you shook your head underneath his weight. it was finally hitting you that this was the end–the end of something and you couldn’t do anything to stop it.
summary : alie gets under the skin of everyone, even the ones who seem the most shut off
warning/s : swearing, depression, talks of miscarriage, and gif not mine, angst
slater’s note : season three truly was the best season. this is… dramatic? it has potential but i gave up.
it was your turn.
alie crossed all of them off like a list. one by one, mind fucking them until they couldn’t handle it.
mind manipulation, you knew all about it and you were certain that it wasn’t something you could be so easily affected by. you had met a lot of people, a lot of boyfriends, and friends, and even your own parents who enjoyed getting into your head with simple words that made you feel guilty or sick to your stomach.
you were sure she couldn’t get into yours.
“hello, sweetheart,” raven quirked her head, already analyzing you and your current mood. “see they finally brought in the big guns.”
you humph in amusement with lips slightly twitching upward as you made your way to one of the boxes that sat close to raven. you were hoping to rest, put your mind to ease as you sat before her, not expecting much to come from her mouth since you were a closed book.
clarke and jasper were practically left open and begging to be read as they sized up to raven with their emotions still filling their eyes to the brim. they were easy targets, easy to tear down, and easy to extract a fit from.
and although bellamy seemed just as shut off as you, hereallywasn’t. bellamy had so many problems shoved in the back of his mind that they begun to pile and overflow. and with anger issues compiled from unsettled issues in his past; he was just as much as an easy target as they were.
everyone hits rock bottom, but not all get to face the humiliation of others also realizing and coming to spit in your face.. a plan alie was hoping to put in motion, she just had to bait you first.
“you’ve always been the smart one,” she slightly twisted her head, raven’s eyes dark and filled with a conscious that wasn’t her own. “always thought for the better of others.. never yourself,” she shook her head and you could tell by the way her eyes slightly squinted she had something up her sleeve.
you were intrigued.
“so.. selfless and yet you’re always blamed for every problem that comes up. why do you let that happen, y/n?”
you tilted your head to the side, not exactly finding truth in the last of her words, you had never felt blamed, and if anyone was a scape goat, it’d be murphy. but you still found yourself listening, eating up the lie like a story.
“which is why i’m confused as to.. why you took the chip..” her face screwed up and at the sudden words you inhaled sharply knowing very well everyone heard her words just as you did. “i mean, y/n, as much as a smart decision that was, it was a rather selfish thing of you to do, don’t you think?”
you kept your mouth shut, knowing this wasn’t the last of her words. she had a plan of some kind, she was still trying to get into your head and she felt so close by the way she had just watched you adjust yourself in the slightest way possible.
“like i said,” you mumbled, “your chip didn’t work.”
“that’s too bad, isn’t it?” she whispered, almost taunting you, “whatever’s hurting you must be something real bad with how braveandstrong you are, or- excuse me, seem to be.”
“someone should go in there,” jasper suddenly stood from his spot at the door, listening in, his mouth beginning to grow dry as he stood up anxiously, looking between bellamy and the rest of your friends listening with just as slack and uncomfortable expressions; taken aback.
he made a move to go in but bellamy quickly stopped him, “just wait.”
“bellamy-”
“but then again, the strongest of us always seem to carry the most. you would know wouldn’t you?”
your mouth twitched from frowning deeper as you thought of all the past torment, from the moment you were born to the moment you landed on the ground.
“shall we talk about why you took the chip?”
“we can talk about whatever you want,” you leaned forward with your elbows on your knees.
this couldn’t get any worse than it already was.
“i want you to choose. bellamy or mount weather?”
you swallowed harshly, but your voice was still stern as you stared as her with narrowed eyes, “neither,” you leaned forward, thinking of the many flaws to weaknesses that centered in your heart just with the those topics. “i want to talk about you, raven, only you.”
“deflecting the question won’t work, y/n,” she almost glared at you, “you said we could talk about what i wanted and now i made a decision; i want to talk about what happened in mount weather after you got shot.”
your face dropped and you didn’t even try to hide it, suddenly remembering exactly what she was talking about and the room suddenly felt hot and you wanted to leave but you felt completely sucked in like she was a vacuum, giving you no choice but to get swallowed.
“you were pregnant, right?” raven’s head dipped to the side, already knowing she had gotten to you despite your face no longer showing a sign of distress. “with a little girl?”
jasper’s gaze landed on the side of bellamy’s jaw, eyes wide, holding his breath, waiting for him to step in, to stop it, do anything but freeze up like a stick, struck dumb with shock.. and hurt and a pain he could distinguish, something he had never felt before to the point he didn’t even know if it was all real.
raven tsk’d, eyes landing on her lap, “such a shame really,” you could see the sick smile that began to climb up her cheeks, making you want to scream, shout, anything to get rid of the pain clawing at your chest. “does bellamy know?” she looks up, as if wanting to really know, as if she hadn’t already knew. “i mean he is the father after all, you think he’d deserve to know.”
he knew now.
“bellamy, do something,” clarke gaped at him, her hand tugging at his arm, begging him to snap out of the trance he was in. “bellamy, you need to go in there. you need to get her out of there.“
“he held you… thinking you’d die, completely unaware of the baby inside that really took the bullet,” raven inhaled, sighing, her head shaking. “that really is sad, i don’t know how you didn’t end it-”
you got up and she smiled, anticipating this moment. but you don’t do what she wished you’d do. you stood calmly, staring deep into her hazel pupils, amusement snowing around, almost encouraging you to inflict pain on her.
“you’re not real,” your voice is low and quiet, “you can’t effect me. you promote a false devotion and promise a final happiness and safety from pain, but you’re flawed and can’t even bring the weak of us down.”
your eyes dart back and forth in search of some emotion in her eyes, but it seems she goes blank and shuts down like a computer until her jaw tips up, pulling closer to your face, whispering back, “you think that you’re so brave, y/n. you think that you’re some courageous soldier just because of the luck you had of showing up in the right place at the right time,” you feel a hand grip your bicep while the other wrapped around your mid section, slowly pulling you away from the words that ran out of her mouth fast, “but you’re wrong, deep down you’re coward just like all your friends and my point is only further proven when you took the chip, because admit it y/n, you’re scared, you’re scared-“
you felt like you had been ripped from a different world once bellamy had spun you around to face him. your body shook internally as realization overcame you of what had all been revealed within that room. bellamy looked scattered as he stared into your eyes with his own wide ones. he didn’t look himself; he looked worried and maybe even sad.
very sad.
"y/n, sit down for me, please,” he grasped your arms lightly, pulling you down on one of the chair slowly and gently, afraid you’d break under his touch. he was completely disoriented and he wasn’t even sure if what was all happening was real.
you stayed blank in the mind, feeling completely drained and distraught to the thought of what was running around in his head right now. it hurt that he now knew everything.
“talk to me,” he slowly kneeled before you, “what- baby, what happened to you?”
you inhaled sharply, the feeling of tears beginning to form in the crest of your eyes as you begun to feel overwhelmed–your chest tightened and it seemed like such a strain on your lungs when you tried to breathe, “bellamy, a lot happened in… mount weather that i can’t even begin to explain. I’m not even sure what was real and what wasn’t.”
“i was in a dark spot,” it was hard to force out and you could barely look him in the eye with the intensity he kept within his pupils. his heart hurt for you and he couldn’t even begin to think straight with all that was revealed with raven. “i can’t think straight half the time, bellamy and after everyone was killed at mount weather.. and i was shot… i didn’t feel like the same person anymore.. nothing felt right…”
you choked. your voice caught in the back of your throat as you attempted to explain yourself but he stopped you, shushing your voice as your tears begun to slowly fall and paint your cheeks. he pulled you close by the back of your neck, stroking his thumb against your scarred skin while the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you to him and his warmth. he held you tightly and so hard, that his ribs hurt but he didn’t care because he was afraid that you’d slip from his grip, like you had before.
but you stayed and you held him just as tight, allowing yourself to sink, because this was the only thing that truly felt right.
I’m at mid second season of The 100 and I’m pretty convinced Finn’s gonna die. I mean, when Murphy gotta tell you to chill you really have gone too far
what was the first show y’all broke up with…you know like the first show you had that was your everything for a good amount of time and then it fucked up so bad that like you felt your heart breaking with sadness, disappointment and hurt and then you vowed never to see it again? i’ll start mine was shame/ess
The 100.
And it was so bad I don’t even need to explain myself. The last season of GOT looks like an Emmy deserving finale next to that absolute trainwreck of a show.
Request - hi! i was thinking if you could write a john murphy fic, please? fem reader is bisexual and is worried about coming out to murphy bcs her last partner didn’t take it well. but she tells him and he’s very supportive :)
Angst?/Fluff - Coming out
Warnings - Gay as fuck, Cursing, Homophobia,
Pairing - John Murphy X Fem!Reader
A/N - I didn’t know if I should make it on the ground or not so I just rolled with it being in space for the first relationship then on the ground for when you’re with Murphy.
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It was a bit of a secret that you played the field, one that you hid extremely well. It’s not like you were sleeping around with guys and women (unless you want to), but you were pretty good at coming up with excuses for wondering eyes when someone attractive passes by. Little to no one knew and for a while, that’s how you liked to keep it.
Your last relationship really had you real back on your want to embrace who you were. They left quite an impact on you and honestly? It really hurt. Said relationship ended when you told them that you were bisexual. First, they just played it off cause you’re both young and used the classic “you’re confused” or “it’s a phase”. It was when they realized you weren’t joking that they dumped you and very quickly moved on. You just felt lucky that he didn’t spread it around like wildfire.
Your current relationship is one you didn’t want to muck up. You have the normally cold John Murphy wrapped around your finger without even trying. He’s your rock and you love him with all of your heart. When you two came out as being in a relationship many people were shocked “how did Murphy pull Y/n?” was one that always had you laughing while holding Murphy back from beating some kid’s face in.
Weeks go by and each one that you’re with him has you trying to work up the courage to tell him but every time you’re held back by what happened last time. What if he does the same thing? What if he tells everyone? For weeks your mind is filled with these doubts and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Murphy one bit.
“You’re killing me,” Murphy says one day when the two of you are sitting alone. Your head perks up, staring at him as he fiddles with a knife, sharpening it against a rock.
“What?” You grow slightly nervous.
Murphy sits forward. “You’ve been acting weird and it’s killing me. What’s wrong? You tired of my ass?”
You shake your head, “no. What? Of course not. Someone’s gotta watch your dumb ass.” He laughs at that.
“Alright. Then what? Cause cat and mouse when I own the mouse it tiring.” He smirks when you look away from him, smiling.
“Can we…” You trail off for a moment, biting the inside of your cheek. “Can we go somewhere more private?” Your eyes glance around the camp of people you call your friends.
Murphy follows your gaze before shrugging, rising to his feet. “Whatever you want.” He follows you into your tent, sitting on the cot when told to do so. You pace in front of him for a moment and he grows both worried and concerned. “You okay Y/n?” He reaches a hand out to stop you, meeting your eyes.
“I-” You stop yourself, the memory of your past lover moving to the front of your mind.
“Hey.” He regains your attention. “It’s okay.”
You nod, letting out a breath. “I’ve been trying for weeks to find the words.” You start, gripping his hand in yours. “You gotta promise not to laugh at me.”
“I mea-” He stops himself from a normal snarky comment when he sees how serious whatever you have to say is to you. “I promise.”
“Or hate me.”
“I could never hate you.” He insists, growing more worried.
“Okay.” You sigh. “I like women.” You state, watching him tilt his head before what you said really set in. “And men!” You quickly save what you blurted out. “I like both: men and women.” You explain, “I’m bi.”
Murphy blinks before he shakes his head with a small laugh. “You spent weeks on that?”
You blink at him. “You said you wouldn’t laugh.”
“I’m sorry.” He pulls you closer. “I don’t know what to say other than I still love you.”
You tear up, “you’re not like mad?”
“Mad? Why the hell would I be mad? You’re you and I love you.” He smiles, pecking your lips. You smile, leaning your forehead against his, a huge weight off of your shoulders.
