#goblinmom strikes again
me, just about to walk out of the kitchen and head back to my room:
goblinmom, talking semi-quickly without ANY pause in between sentences whatsoever: either don’t walk through here or run quickly OOP TOO LATE-
me, still half unsure wtf her warning was supposed to warn me about and laughing in confusion over wtf just happened:
mom, yelling after me: OH GOD THAT SMELLS SO BAD-
She had farted and gassed herself out
So there’s this yoga position which is a major workout in and of itself despite being an insanely simple position to do.
And I was just teaching it to goblinmom because she has horrible, constant migraines that don’t let her exercise normally (movement=pain) so I had found this for her hoping it might help.
Then, once I got her situated into the right form, she’s like:
Mom: “wow this really does affect everything in the body doesn’t it?”
Me, taking a sip of tea and walking away: “yep now hold it for 3 to 5 minutes”
The look of absolute betrayal and devastation on her face was priceless
goblinmom, who is currently hardcore craving sweets: Oh! I know what we can use the jar of frosting for! Those crepes you make!!! We can mix the frosting with some berries for them!
me: The same crepes you usually say are too rich and sweet?
mom: It’s not like we have to put sugar in the crepes!
me, glancing between her and the frosting on the table: Did you just forget what frosting is?
mom, laughing: Two different food groups?
me, walking out of my room to find mom hunched over her laptop like a dog that is eating something it’s not supposed to have:
me: …what are you doing?
goblinmom: windows was being annoying and kept sending me popups
me, already getting a bad feeling about this: so what are you doing about it?
also me, looking at her computer and realizing that mom is rapidly and impulsively uninstalling every program even remotely related to windows or microsoft: …did you mean microsoft office?
mom: yeah, I think so why?
me, rolling my eyes so hard I’m pretty sure I could see my own soul tap-dancing with the demon I sold it to: because you deleted several things that your computer can’t run without ya dingleberry!!
