I consider my chastity cage and collar both to symbolize my Goddess’s ownership over me. They are symbols of my slave status and commitment and faithful devotion to her and her alone.
The slave’s job is to obey and please the pussy that owns and controls him. Chastity and denial keep him always eager and willing to do this. Orgasms are not for the slave. They all belong to the owner.
So what is the right way to approach a woman about your needs? I think there is a nice, gentle progression and if followed correctly I believe most women would be receptive to this type of relationship…
• Take some responsibilities off your wife’s shoulders. Do the laundry, make dinner, pick up after yourself so that she doesn’t have to, do the dishes. When your wife notices and asks why you are doing these things, do not say, “Because I want to be your little French maid, taking care of all your needs.” Do say, “Because I love you and see how much you do for me. I want you to have time to relax and enjoy yourself.
• Now that you have taken more responsibility around the house, start doing thoughtful, caring things for your wife. Bring her a glass of wine in the evening, get her small gifts (a rose, a copy of a new book from her favorite author), get her a card and write in it how much you love her. When she asks why you are giving her so much attention, do not say , “I am giving you lots of attention because I want to do everything for you. I want to be your pet, your footstool, your chauffer, your pedicurist.” Do say, “I care about you and want to make you happy. I love nothing more than seeing you smile.”
By doing these first few things for a period of time (a month or so), you have given your wife a sense of Dominance. She has learned to expect you to meet some of her needs, and she is surely appreciating all of the extra help you are giving her.
• Begin focussing on her needs in the bedroom. Massage her, rub her back, play with her hair, and give her plenty of physical affection. When you are intimate, focus only on her orgasm. Allow her to lay back and relax as you lick her body and taste her. Enjoy her and luxuriate in the woman that she is. If she wants to make love to you and you get to have an orgasm, great. If not, hold her and rub her back as she drifts off to sleep. She will likely ask why you are not worried about your own orgasm. Do not say, “You are my Goddess and for you I will lock my cock up for the next year and never touch it again.” Do say, “I love your body so much and you deserve all the pleasure that I can give you. My needs are secondary to yours.”
By now she likely has some idea the direction that you are going with things, and quite frankly- at this point you are in a Female-led marriage (even if you haven’t yet discussed it).
• Now is the time to sit down and share your feelings with your wife. Tell her how much you have enjoyed meeting some of her needs, and that you wish you had done those things for her all along. Explain to her how much you love her, and tell her that you want to serve her. Explain to her what you want, but not in D/s terms. Do not use the words D/s, BDSM, Dominance, Mistress, whip, beating, etc. Do tell her that you want her to have the control in the marriage, and that if you fail to meet her needs you want her to hold you accountable.
The basic idea is that a marriage cannot go from vanilla one day to D/s the next, even in the best of circumstances. Springing your list of personal kinks on your wife is going to get you nothing, and frankly is not behavior that is appropriate of any submissive. Allowing your relationship to progress slowly towards a FemDom marriage is the best bet.
The statements that I have come up with to share with your wife/partner are not meant to be used word for word, as it is important for you to speak from your heart. The point I am trying to make is that introducing your wife into the D/s world should be a gentle, loving expression of your submission to Her and desire to meet Her needs, not an expectation that she will instantly embrace your kink…
Thanks to FemaleLedRelationship
This is a very difficult discussion to have with your lady! Most women want to see us a “Men”, the so called real men. I honestly can say that I think it takes a REAL MAN to admit his devotion to his lady, his desire to pleasure her at a drop of a dime. To follow her requests, orders, commands and do as we are told without question or delay. By doing this you show your lady that you totally trust her, your only need and desire is to see her smile…Even that “Evil Grin” Madame! I think it takes a bigger and better…(okay maybe not “bigger”) but certainly a more secure and better male to show he is submissive to his lady. Show her just how much you will do and go through for her, her entertainment and to pleasure her whenever she so desires.
THAT IS A “REAL” MAN!!!
This is so well written and there is a lot of great advice here for any man who is looking to introduce his wife to the idea of a female-led marriage.
I have been into this lifestyle for a very considerable amount of time. During the last 10 years I have been in and out on relations with different dominants (male and females). While along these years some of my interest have changed there are two things that have been remain a constant: domestic work and chastity. Every time I have served a person as slave (in property or in a casual relation) it has been always oriented to make the live of that person more comfortable by taking all the boring tasks of their life so they can focus in living and enjoy: cleaning, cooking, taxi service… The other common thing is chastity. Every owner I have served in the past years had set as primary condition that I should be locked in chastity. The reasons to enforced it varies from simple control, to the belief that I do not deserve orgasms.
As some of you know, I have been serving a master as chastity domestic slave for the past few months. On the the 2 May something happens which was entirely knew to me. My master transferred me to another person. Just to be clear there was no monetary transaction involved, but it was entirely a decision made by the two of them in which I did not participate in any way. I never thought that something like this could happen outside of fantasies, how could someone accept to be move from hand to hand like an object?
I can tell you it is possible, the whole transaction was like one of these wet stories close to these roleplay situation in which many of us engage in this scene: the physical inspection, the contract sign,… Maybe that is the reason I did not oppose any resistance at that moment, I could not believe that was not a game.
It was not a game or roleplay, I was from that point property of Goddess Elise. She is not like any other woman or men I have served, she is not into BDSM, she is a Female Supremacist and BDSM is an easy way for her to have the “social” interaction with males in the way she think is the ideal one. This allow her to treat males how she think they should be treated without the legal risks of a “real slavery” situation. But this is an story for another moment. She allowed me to continue publishing in this blog (and the other ones I have in tumblr) even if she does not have an account.
Me: *mindfully stirring my mug of coffee with its 2 shots of espresso, 2 full spoons of sugar, and a dollop of creamer* “I dedicate my wakefulness and self care to my goddesses.”
Artemis: “That’s a lot of caffeine, sugar, and creamer even for us, my daughter.”
