#haikyuu
Tanaka: Noya, you know Asahi will never agree to this plan.
Nishinoya: Sure he will!
Tanaka: I’ve already asked him three times, he won’t do it
Nishinoya: Let me try
Nishinoya: *walks up to Asahi* Can we-
Asahi:yes.
Kid: one day i’ll be as cool as Oikawa!
Iwaizumi: kid, i saw that man drop his milk bread and cry over it for at least twenty minutes.
Daichi: While I’m gone, Nishinoya, you’re in charge.
Nishinoya:Yes!
Daichi: Tsukishima, you’re secretly in charge.
Tsukishima:Duh.
Akaashi: I hate him.
Bokuto: Me too.
Akaashi: You have no idea who I’m talking about
Bokuto: Solidarity.
Yachi: I don’t know how to deal with my feelings so when I have a crush on someone, I just leave a bunch of heart stickers on their desk
Kiyoko: I saw a bunch of heart stickers on my desk the other day
Yachi: That’s so weird!
Yachi: Anyway, i need to go water my cat! See ya!
Ukai: where is everyone?
Daichi: the hospital. Hinata swallowed a watermelon seed.
Ukai: why? It’s not like a watermelon is gonna grow inside him
Daichi:
Daichi: we’ll be home in 10 minutes
Hinata: What’s wrong?
Kageyama: Oikawa texted me ten times today.
Yamaguchi: What’d he text you?
Kageyama: *shows phone*
Oikawa: “I’m going to make you bleed.”
Oikawa: “On Friday.”
Oikawa: “At 3:02.”
Oikawa: “I love you, Mom.”
Oikawa: “Wait, that last text wasn’t for you, it was for my mom.”
Sugawara: How would you describe the team?
Kageyama: Basically when you try to make an omelette but fuck it up and end up with scrambled eggs but it’s ok.
*Tanaka and Nishinoya collectively yelling in the dorms*
Daichi: Whats it about this time?
Sugawara, reading a book: Who knows.
*Tanaka and Nishinoya sitting in the common room a few minutes prior*
Nishinoya, casually reading a comic: Hey, Tanaka.
Tanaka, laying on a couch:Mm?
Nishinoya: Do you wash your eyebrows?
Tanaka: *Sits up* Eh? What kind of question is that?
Nishinoya: *Closes his comic suddenly* WHAT!?
Tanaka: *Glares* What do you mean what?
Nishinoya, slowly: Do you.. Wash your..eye ..brows?
Tanaka, confused: I .. uh .. No? I don’t know!
Nishinoya: *Stands up and points his way accusingly* SO YOURE TELLING ME THAT WHEN YOU WASH YOUR HAIR YOU DON’T TAKE A LITTLE OF THE SHAMPOO *starts rubbing his forehead feverishly* AND WASH YOUR EYEBROWS!?
Tanaka: *Squinting* what the FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?
Nishinoya, accusingly: SO YOU DONT!
Tanaka, gets defensive: WHO THE HELL EVEN THINKS OF THAT SHIT!? FUCK YOU!
Nishinoya: FUCK ME!? FUCK YOU AND YOUR GREASY ASS EYEBROWS!
Kenma: Happy father’s day
Kuroo:Excuse me what?????
Kenma:*pulls out a kitty*
Kenma: Our child
Hinata: Tsukishima, which pride flag is that?
Tsukishima:…
Tsukishima: That’s Germany.
Kuroo: How do you spell orange?
Bokuto: The fruit or the color?
Tsukishima:
Kuroo: *carves K + T into a tree*
Tsukishima: Ew.
Tsukishima:
Tsukishima: *adds 4ever*
Yamaguchi: Why are you drinking coffee at ten PM?
Tsukishima: Time is an illusion. Once you realize that, you can trascend, and live in bliss.
Tsukishima: Also I have a ten page report due in the morning that I completely forgot about.
Kuroo: I just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse.
Kenma: Please tell me those aren’t the names of your fists.
Daichi: Ok, guys, we have some visitors today so be on your best behavior.
1st years: What are we supposed to say then?
Daichi: I don’t know. Just say hi or something.
*later when welcoming the guests*
Yamaguchi:Hi
Tsukishima:Hi
Kageyama:Hi
Hinata:Something
Akaashi to Bokuto: I’m feeling really relaxed, except for the fact that everything you’re doing right now is stressing me out.
Ushijima, talking about Hinata: that jumping kid, my arch nemesis.
Oikawa: I thought I was your arch nemesis?
Ushijima: I have a life outside of you, Oikawa.
