TV Review: Seven Swordsmen aka “Seven Swords Descend from Mount Heaven”
In 17th Century China, the Qing Dynasty now rules where once the Ming Dynasty did. Many Han resent their new Manchu overlords and pockets of rebellion are everywhere. To help quell the resistance, the Qing have banned the practice of martial arts by ordinary citizens. The Red Spear Society strongly objects to this…
Scores calculated on build size, design and material. The more extravagant the base, the lower the score.
I haven’t watched all hermits, will update once I catch up more :)
Tango Tek: 0/10
Not only does he use rare blocks, his base design is one of the most complicated and elaborate bases I’ve seen so far, and also one of the biggest. This is not a starter base.
FalseSymmetry: 0+/10
She builds a tree. And an eagle. And a mountain for said tree and eagle. This is not a starter base I’m sorry it’s not. However, bonus point for continuing the build from last season lore.
PearlescentMoon: 1/10
It’s smaller than both Impulse’s and Tango’s build, so props for that. She uses nether blocks and aged coppers, so no point on the material front. The design is pretty complex tho, ngl. And the worst offense is that she has an interior. An INTERIOR. It’s… *almost* a starter base on the outside, but on the inside it’s better than all of us and it knows.
ImpulseSV: 2/10
While not as elaborate and complicated in overall shape, it is a sizeable build and quite detailed. Seems to involve some terraforming, which lowers the score. And he uses amethyst which is 100% not starter base material.
XisumaVoid: 2.5/10
Complicated, big, rare blocks. The only reason he has any point at all is because it doesn’t have a back and honestly that’s valid. It’s a glorified photo prop right now and that’s valid.
GeminiTay: 5/10
Also a treehouse like Tango, but everything is just so much more reasonable. It’s not even *technically* a custom tree, and her materials are just woods. Her base did require a whole skeleton farm to grow, so not *that* starter isn’t it? :pensive: Also lost points for some of the materials and the garden decor, but other it can pass as a valid starter base.
Zedaph: 9/10
It’s a rock. Relatively simply in design, small size, non-complicated material. Lost one point because tuff and moss required caving a little further, but otherwise super solid and valid starter base.
Iskall: 9/10
Love the dirt hut aesthetics, very true to what a starter base should be. Loss point for the moss, azalea, and glass usage but otherwise totally valid.
Rendog: 10/10
Cute little wooden house. Very valid size for a starter house. Nothing to complain about <3 Him calling it a doghouse is both a clever puns on his name and implies there will be a bigger house in the future. Appreciate the play on words.
StressMonster: 10/10
Perfection. Nothing to talk about. She uses wood and builds a cute little teapot. It’s cute, it’s pretty, it’s not outrageous. I might be sightly obsessed with it. Love it 10/10.
Vintage Beef: 10.5/10
It’s a cave. Has a bed and only the basic stuffs. Your typical starter base. Iconic.
ZombieCleo: 12/10
Sleeping under the stars, as nature intended. She and Joe are busy doing community-benefitting building and I love them for that.
Joe Hills: 13/10
Same reasoning as Cleo but extra point for his poem. It brings tears to my eyes <3
TinFoilChef: 1000000000000/10
This. This is what a starter base looks like. Nothing but a block of square without even a roof. No furniture beside a bed and a chest. Amazing. Phenomenal. Absolutely the best thing. Bonus point for TFC being funny about it.
Docm77: -10/10
We have such a solid start with Doc simply taking over a village and stealing a house. But then he proceeds to make a villager farm and trading system *only* one-third of the way into his video, and already plans on breaking Minecraft and making everyone’s lives at Mojang harder. So inconsiderate smh :rolling_eyes: I question his definition of “early game” farming.
Rendog (again): 5/10
He got a pie shop and a billboard. Not outrageous but I can’t just leave all his scores intact I’m sorry.
Grian: -5/10
Also a boulder, but it’s a big boulder. And he has a freaken conduit and a lot of nautilus shells. Kinda reminds me of his s6 starter base with the ocean theme, but worse.
GoodTimesWithScar: -50/10
Sir what the fuck is wrong with you??? /affectionate. That’s a mega base not a starter base, and he is even self aware of it. This is the man who built a mountain range in a week so are we really that surprised?
Keralis: 3-/10
He calls his video a humble start and then builds a sickass house with two floors and lots of details. Has some minimal interior but not enough to lose points. However, he loses point because of his complete lack of self-awareness.
iJevin: 3/10
Starter base materials, but too big and complicated of a design. He has custom trees. Who the frick uses campfires in their starter base??? Pretty, but not a starter base.
Mumbo Jumbo: 8/10
Has a lil tiny wood hut and a dirt vault. I respect his priorities. Only downside was because he uses blackstones and was planning on raiding a bastion for it.
BDoubleO100: ?/10
It’s…. a simple, straight forward tower made of one material, so *objectively* it’s valid???? I would have given it a 10/10 if the sole material is not diorite.
Cubfan135: 10/10
Sleeping under the stars which is honestly the most valid starter base :D
xBCrafted: 10/10
“Living out of his pocket”, just as nature intended again.
Update, again
Xisuma: -1000/10
Not only did he finish his gigantic build, he is also one of the rare hermits ever to have an elaborate interior. With farms. Too much for a starter base. Very problematic /j.
Ren: -1000/10
He already has an automated pie factory and this capitalism simply does not deserve a positive score I’m sorry Ren. Factory is very cute tho and him being based next to False makes me happy.
Scar: -1000000/10
Nothing changed I just think I was too lenient on my scoring.
Tango: -10000000000/10
What the frick sir. He has farms. He has a pond. I know he’s doing this because he is on vacation next week but still. No.
Doc: -∞/10
I have been made aware of him already breaking Minecraft with shadow block technology. And the farms he already has deserve a much harsher deduction :pensive:
xBCrafted: 4/10
He hasn’t finished his full starter base yet but I have seen his huge platform on the water. He built a BIG platform ON WATER, not very starter base friendly. The only saving grace for him is that it’s unfinished and looks like it’s made of dirt.
Welsknight: 5/10
Starter materials, relatively simple design. The house is still too big, but he gets points for not detailing his build *yet*. He also dies and loses all his materials once, but I’m not sure if that gives him plus or minus scores because the house would have been more outrageous if he didn’t die.
Joe Hills: 6-/10
Similarly, the base is unfinished so there’s point to that. Big, but not outrageously so. Seemingly made out of white blocks, so either quartz or concrete which are not starter friendly. Still, points because he’s my favorite and he’s been working on the community area. I am not biased I promise /lie.
Hypnotizd: 10/10
I have no clue what he is doing yet but he’s “relearning Minecraft” as his Twitter said, so I’m supportive of his endeavors.
hah! Doc seems pretty interested in the creation process
Oh no! A giant Beaste has attacked the Hermeggs! Grian and Doc seem to be trying to rescue them!
Phew! Finished Xisuma in time for him to collect the Hermeggs and move them to safer ground! He’s helping the others try to calm down Stressmonster, who is extremely stressed-
Wait… there should be three more than this. Where did they get to?
Oh! There they are!
What are you guys up to? Learning to draw?
Hmm… maybe I shouldn’t let them watch the creation process so closely.
Bah, I’m sure it’ll be fine. They’re so cute!
Gave the Hermeggs some blocks for enrichment. Can’t have them deconstructing themselves out of boredom! They seem to be having fun playing with the blocks, can’t wait to see what they build!
Doc and Grian are still watching the creation process and taking adorable little notes but at least Scar had gone to build <3
You sure you guys are having fun over here? You are? Alright… Seems a bit odd of a book to choose, but okay!
Hypnotizd has joined the crew! Not sure what the Hermeggs are building yet but it already looks great!
Impulse is done and immediately joined- Hey! How did you get those? You can’t have my needles!
Excuse you! Put those angry eyebrows away and let go. This is my needle and not something for Hermeggs to be messing with! You don’t want to accidentally summon a Tangle- stop pulling!
hah! Doc seems pretty interested in the creation process
Oh no! A giant Beaste has attacked the Hermeggs! Grian and Doc seem to be trying to rescue them!
Phew! Finished Xisuma in time for him to collect the Hermeggs and move them to safer ground! He’s helping the others try to calm down Stressmonster, who is extremely stressed-
Wait… there should be three more than this. Where did they get to?
Oh! There they are!
What are you guys up to? Learning to draw?
Hmm… maybe I shouldn’t let them watch the creation process so closely.
Bah, I’m sure it’ll be fine. They’re so cute!
Gave the Hermeggs some blocks for enrichment. Can’t have them deconstructing themselves out of boredom! They seem to be having fun playing with the blocks, can’t wait to see what they build!
Doc and Grian are still watching the creation process and taking adorable little notes but at least Scar had gone to build <3
You sure you guys are having fun over here? You are? Alright… Seems a bit odd of a book to choose, but okay!
Hypnotizd has joined the crew! Not sure what the Hermeggs are building yet but it already looks great!
Impulse is done and immediately joined- Hey! How did you get those? You can’t have my needles!
Excuse you! Put those angry eyebrows away and let go. This is my needle and not something for Hermeggs to be messing with! You don’t want to accidentally summon a Tangle- stop pulling!
[image description: a digital drawing of hypnotizd. he’s a thin man with shoulder length hair. he’s wearing a black turtleneck with a titty window with a yellow coat, yellow shorts and platform boots. he has a black bandana wrapped around his head. he’s smiling and waving. he’s very small. end id]
[ID: Three coloured digital drawings and two pieces of text, all with a white border around them. The first, on the far left, is of a large pale hand- presumably xB- with teal webbing between the fingers. Part of a black hoodie sleeve with a dark teal sleeve cuff is visible. xB is squeezing Hypno, who is very small and distressed. Hypno is drawn in a very different and simplified style compared to xB’s hand, with large eyes looking in opposite directions and no mouth. He has tears in his eyes. There’s writing above the drawing that says “Save him.” The second drawing is in the top right and is of xB and Hypno. xB is drawn from the elbows up, wearing a black hoodie with his hands held up to his face. Hypno is in his palm with his back turned to the viewer, once again very small. xB has teal fins instead of and a tail curling behind him. He’s smiling down at Hypno smugly. The third drawing is in the bottom right and is of Hypno sitting down and facing to the right with his legs out in front of him. He is drawn in a very simple style, with dots for eyes, small angry eyebrows, no arms, and simple bee wings. The words to his right say “very small” with an arrow pointing to him. End ID.]
