#hq headcanon
somebody that i used to know
ft. miya atsumu, oikawa tooru, and semi eita
ATSUMU felt terribly desperate. he’s aware of how break ups were meant to hurt—how it’d leave you feeling so numb and void of emotions because everything just felt like it’s closing in on you. it hurts how he realized things wouldn’t be the same as before. there wouldn’t be a beaming smile to greet him nor the face of a lover he’s grown so in love with over the past few years. did it hurt you? he wonders. did it also hurt you when you found yourselves under a raging silence, realizing that you two were no longer together, no longer a couple? he wants to hate you, but believe him when he says he couldn’t find the will anywhere. what happened to having closure? you didn’t have to block his number like that. what happened to all the years of being together then? did that meant nothing to you? it’s such a wonder for him to think about how you two were able to go through a painful break up, yet it looked like he was the only one that suffered so much.
SEMI had been in a state of incredulity. it never really dawned to him how you two were no longer together. all he knew was there were sparking arguments, gazes that burned, and numbing pain that left him leaning against his front door. you’d come back eventually, won’t you? you didn’t mean it when you said we’re through, right? tell him it was a misunderstanding—lie to him, deceive him into believing that there was still love evident in what you two had. when he climbs into your shared bed, hugs your pillow close to his chest, and closes his eyes, would he find you looking at him in adoration the morning after? ah.. maybe he was still in denial. was this even normal? was it normal to feel no pain and instead, feel like your heart had gone numb? maybe that was it. maybe feeling so much pain from your break up had him looking into the void like a blank paper, tears welling up on the sides of his eyes. he’d break anytime soon, but for now, he’d have to process that maybe eventual would never happen. maybe you really did break things through with him and he just refuses to believe it.
OIKAWA wants to place all the blame on you for your break up, but when he sees you closing the door behind you, all the words had gone down—he was to blame. his gaze burned through the door as all the words that bottled up within him became indecipherable, what was he going to say again? i love you? i’m sorry? please come back to me? he always knew he wasn’t one for relationships, he carried a lot of burden from his past and never seemed to let them go. he wants to desperately tie his head around the thought that maybe meeting you made him push his burdens away and live freely without any restriction. and maybe his head was far too wrapped around it—far too gone that he realized amongst the ones he pushed away from his life was the one who made him learn how to fall in love again. so when he snaps from his daze of rainbows and sunshines, he couldn’t help but feel his mouth go dry. why couldn’t he reach for you or even call your name one last time just so he could apologize dearly? maybe he never really let go of his burdens, and instead, bottled them. and in return, it caused him to lose everything, including the love you two once had.
