oikawa and kuroo as college friends (platonic), sprinkled with x reader because i’m self-indulgent as hell, 5.1k
kuroo is stressed about college. oikawa decides to give him the best thing a college student could ever receive: weed.
WARNINGS: suggestive themes, recreational drug use
Oikawa is the best fucking roommate in the world (well, ex-roommate).
He’s pretty bummed about the ex part, but he would never say it out loud to Kuroo. Especially, when hewas the one who got dumped. It’s humiliating, he knows.
He complains about this to Iwaizumi almost every single day when he gets lonely, and every time, Iwaizumi rolls his eyes and says Shittykawa, he’s a RA now. He can’t be your roommate anymore.
Personally, he disagrees. If Oikawa and Kuroo were truly bros, he wouldn’t have left Oikawa to room with a complete stranger who ignores all of his attempts to be friendly. He would have tried harder, he would have gone above and beyond to become the first RA with a roommate, instead of being selfish and having a room to himself.
But despite his betrayal, Oikawa is still here for him. The poor guy has been so stressed lately with never ending assignments, stupid residents and family problems (read: mommy issues). Kuroo has been straight up notvibing for so long and Oikawa hates to see it.
That’s why with all the greatness vested in him, he went the extra mile and secured something for Kuroo. Something special. A little treat, if he says so himself. There’s an extra spring to his step as he skips all the way to Kuroo’s new room and knocks a jaunty little tune.
“Open up!” he yells, without regard for whatever Kuroo is doing. Whatever it is, it can’t be more important than Oikawa. When he doesn’t hear a response, he starts banging on it with a threat. “Kuroo Tetsurou if you don’t open this door I will release every single one of your drunk photos to the internet.”
Even his thinly-veiled threat doesn’t work. Tragic. And then it hits him: what if Kuroo is actually hurt? What if he’s in trouble and he’s being an insensitive little bastard threatening him? What if—
The door opens.
“What the hell do you want? I was in the bathroom.” Kuroo looks unimpressed.
Oikawa doesn’t respond, just pushes past him and looks around the room for any sign of trouble.
“I can’t believe you. I was getting worried and you were in the bathroom taking a shit?Unbelievable.”
“You weren’t dying Tooru.” Kuroo says, rolling his eyes as he shuts the door. “Why are you here anyway? Again? God it’s like you’re obsessed with me.”
Oikawa huffs, debating whether or not Kuroo even deserves his gift. But he already went through the trouble of securing it, so he might as well give it to him.
He throws the package at Kuroo, hitting him square in the face. “There.”
“Ow, what the hell?”Kuroo rubs at his face. “What is this?”
“It’s a gift.” Oikawa shrugs. “Open it.”
Kuroo gives him the side-eye. “You got me a gift? What, are you dying or something? Did you do something stupid and you want me to take the blame for it? Because I swear to god if you—”
Oikawa rolls his eyes and sits on Kuroo’s bed. “Dude,” Oikawa says, annoyed at Kuroo’s slowness, “Just open it already.”
“Fine, fine.” Kuroo says aggressively, tearing open the package with zero finesse.
In all honesty, Oikawa should have expected this, but he wishes Kuroo would take the time to appreciate how well he had wrapped the gift. He even stopped by the dollar store and chose a cute little box to store it in, before getting distracted in the stationary and coating the damn thing with fruity little stickers.
(He wonders if this is what Iwaizumi meant when he said he has too much time on his hands.)
Kuroo opens the box, and Oikawa sits there giddy with anticipation. “Bro,” Kuroo says, looking at him with wide eyes. “You did not.”
Oikawa grins, chest blooming with pride. “Bro, I did.”
Kuroo lifts the little bag carefully placed inside the box, and holds his other hand to his heart. He’s so touched. “Tooru, I can’t believe you got me weed.”
.
.
.
There was, of course, one problem.
They’ve never actually smoked weed before. Together or separately, they were just newbies. But it’s not going to be a problem— they’ve made it to university and passed their first year. There’s nothing they can’t do with the power of google and youtube on their side.
Oikawa inspects the bag. “I mean, don’t we just need to light it and then we’re all good?”
“Theoretically that’s correct.” Kuroo says, head bent low with his face too close to the phone. God bless him, he seriously needs glasses. (college truly takes and takes, and eyesight is not an exception). Though if Oikawa thinks about it, it’s probably the late night gaming sessions to blame; Kuroo’s stupid little discord icon is always online. “If it was already rolled into a blunt, it might be that simple…”
“Would you stop overthinking whatever is on your mind and just spit it out.” Oikawa grunts.
“I think we have to roll it first.” he says matter of factly. “Tooru, why didn’t you buy them pre-rolled?”
“I didn’t think that far!” Oikawa defends himself. He’s never going to do anything nice for Kuroo again. Not with all these criticisms. “We can roll it. We’ll figure it out.”
Well, they try to figure it out. The two of them huddle around Kuroo’s tiny phone screen and watch a video on how to do it. Apparently the first step is grinding their weed.
Oikawa frowns. “Do you have a grinder?”
Kuroo tilts his head, confused. “Like the dating app? Obviously not what do you think—”
Oikawa smacks him with the nearest pillow. “Were you even watching the video? I meant a literal grinder dumbass.”
Kuroo smacks him back, and Oikawa briefly feels like he’s been sent to another dimension and back . “Hey!” he says, irritated. “I told you only Iwa-chan can hit me!”
“We don’t have a grinder. Why does it need to be grinded anyway? Won’t that just dilute the effects or whatever? Let’s move on to the next step.”
Oikawa is dubious about Kuroo’s logic but he has nothing to contribute except pure vibes so he just shrugs. He lets Kuroo unpause the video without saying a word.
He’s so glad nobody is watching them do this, because as the video progresses he realises they have literally none of the things they need to roll a blunt. A grinder? Tobacco paper? All they have is Kuroo’s student card that they’re using to transfer the weed from the table and back into the little bag. This is so embarrassing to witness.
Oikawa watches as Kuroo rips a random piece of paper out of a tiny notebook. “Tetsu,” he finally speaks up when Kuroo tries to roll his blunt like it’s sushi. In the same way that he would not eat Kuroo’s homemade sushi, he is notsmoking this blunt. “This isn’t right. We can’t light this shit up.”
Kuroo sighs, absolutely resigned— he looks like he wishes he was never even born. Oikawa notes that this is just his resting face (some people have resting bitch face, but Kuroo just looks like he’s been let down one too many times).
Kuroo looks so hopeless sometimes that Oikawa wonders how the hell he was ever allowed on the Freshers Welcoming Committee. What kind of image would the university be selling if their very own students looked depressed? They should have picked someone fresh and pretty, like Oikawa, instead.
“Well, do youhave any better ideas?” Kuroo huffs.
“Don’t you know any stoners in the area? As a RA, I would’ve thought you at least had some connections. Come on, use your status of authority and hook us up.”
“It’s exactly because I’m a RA that I can’t just fucking ask.” Kuroo groans. “What image would I be putting out if I, the authority figure, started asking my residents how to roll a blunt? They’d think I’m a loser.”
Oikawa lets him have his little drama queen moment. Kuroo always does this; he acts like he’s given up and then a few minutes later he has a new plan. He looks around Kuroo’s room in the meantime.
There’s a growing pile of dirty laundry on the floor. A stack of clothes building up in a heap on his chair. A number of old takeaway boxes that he has yet to throw out. Yep, it’s confirmed. Kuroo Tetsurou is your typical dirty ass college student.
“Wait!” Kuroo suddenly exclaims, pulling out his phone and typing a message on his phone at lightning fast speed. “I do know someone. She’s also a RA and definitely won’t rat us out.”
Oikawa cheers and claps his hands. “We’re saved! Hopefully she can pull through.”
Kuroo looks smug. “Oh trust me. She will.”
.
.
.
“What the fuck?” Oikawa immediately slams the door and whisper shouts, “Why the hell would you ask Y/N for help? She’s myRA.”
“Uh,” Kuroo scratches his head before giving him a pleased smile, “Because she’s not a snitch? Because she goes to frat parties and definitely knows how to roll a blunt? Because we’re two idiots who don’t know what they’re doing? Come on, aren’t you into her?”
“Wha— I am not— Why the fuck is your voice so loud?” Oikawa wants to strangle him. “Why would you not tell me she’s coming?”
A knock interrupts their whispered shouting. “Are you guys gonna keep me standing here all night?”
Oikawa turns to Kuroo in panic, and his only response is to shrug. Fuck Kuroo. He is never, ever, ever,going to do anything nice for Kuroo again. “I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d act like this and run away. She’s our only option— we can’t let this weed go to waste.”
Kuroo pushes him to the side and opens the door, and all Oikawa can do is force a blank expression on his face to hide how he’s really feeling. It’s just Y/N, Oikawa reminds himself. His pretty RA.
The door opens and you walk in, wearing an oversized button up shirt and leggings. This zoom aesthetic outfit should not look that good.
Your hot and sexy RA, the demonic voice whispers in Oikawa’s head. Sometimes, Oikawa deludes himself into thinking that he’s going to focus on his studies at college and not be distracted by relationships. But when the devil can’t reach him, he sends you and Oikawa knows, without a doubt, that he is fucked. (or wants to be).
“Hey Tooru,” you greet, sinister smile on your face, “Thanks for slamming the door in my face.”
Oikawa pouts, “I didn’t know you were coming. We’re supposed to hide drugs from RAs, not ask them to roll blunts for us.”
“Where is it?” you ask, and Kuroo happily directs you to his desk.
“We’ve never done it before,” Kuroo explains shamelessly, before Oikawa can stop him, “so we don’t have any supplies. I’m not even going to describe to you what we were doing before I texted you.”
You laugh and Oikawa frowns. Even your stupid laugh is cute. “Okay, I can help. But can I collect my payment first?”
“What payment?” Oikawa asks, confused.
Kuroo lets out a forced laugh, doing a time-out motion but you just raise an eyebrow at him. “Kuroo said—”
Oikawa goes to speak but before he can, Kuroo’s hand slaps it over his mouth and says, “Give us a minute will you, let me just speak to him over there.”
Kuroo drags him to the bathroom before you can get another word in. Oikawa waits until he closes the door before he says “Explain before I tell the girl you’ve been crushing on down the hall that you’ve had wet dreams about her for the past week now.”
“You bastard!”
“Explain!”
Oikawa smacks Kuroo’s arm. “What does she mean by payment?”
“Well,” Kuroo says, clasping his hands in front of him to look like the picture of a good boy. It works on lesser mortals usually, but Oikawa’s immune to his petty ways— he is not fooled. “I knew the only way she’d come was if I told her that you would…”
“I would…” Oikawa’s patience is growing thin. “Speak up asshole!”
Kuroo huffs. “I told her that we needed some help for our little problem, and I may have vaguely, loosely, noncommittally, said that you would kiss her for helping.”
Oikawa hits him again and Kuroo just takes it. The mark of the guilty. “Tetsu! Why the fuck would you say that?”
“Because!” Kuroo pouts. “I know she’s into you, and she would have come over if I said that. And I also knew you wouldn’t mind, because you yearnfor her with your di—”
Oikawa covers his ears. He can’t believe Kuroo would betray him once again. Actually, he can believe it. This stupid rooster head is conniving in his own ways. It’s quite frankly the only explanation he has on how he became volleyball captain in high school.
(Okay, Kuroo is also nice and super funny, but that is notOikawa’s point right now.)
“Tooruuuu,” Kuroo whines, shaking him by the shoulders, “I mean if you really don’t want to kiss her, it’s fine. We don’t have to smoke, we can just tell her to beat it and watch a movie.”
But here’s the thing. Anger, betrayal and other unforgivable sins aside, Oikawa does want to kiss you. Carefully, he starts, “She’s into me?”
Kuroo nods confidently. “Well she’s here isn’t she? Ready to collect payment.”
Oikawa turns to the mirror and fluffs his hair, “I guess I can take one for the team. I do look cute today.”
He opens his mouth and breathes on Kuroo, “Does my breath smell weird?”
Kuroo’s nose crinkles, “Can’t you smell that shit yourself? It smells fine, I guess.”
Oikawa gasps dramatically. “Just fine? That means it smells like ass. I can’t kiss Y/N with bad breath, where the hell is your mouthwash?”
Kuroo sighs, crouching down to open a cupboard below the sink. He hands him a bottle, “Here you go.”
After what feels like an eternity in the bathroom getting ready to kiss you, Oikawa decides he’s ready to make the ultimate sacrifice and pucker up his frog lips to kiss the princess. He says this to Kuroo who scoffs, “Don’t act like you wouldn’t have done this out of free will.”
Oikawa glares at him. “People who sold my body for free blunt rolls aren’t allowed to speak. Stay here while I secure the deal.”
“What!” Kuroo exclaims, trying to leave the bathroom. “Why do I have to stay here?”
“Because why the hell should you watch me kiss her?” Oikawa protests. “You absolute freak.”
Oikawa walks out of the bathroom before he can say anything else. In the time they were in the bathroom, he finds that you made yourself comfortable and took a seat on Kuroo’s bed.
Oikawa clears his throat. “Sorry about that. Small misunderstanding. I’m ready to provide payment.”
You tilt your head to the side. “You don’t have to do it.”
“What?” Oikawa can’t hide his frown. “You don’t want me to kiss you?”
“No.” you say simply, clearly checking him out from where you’re sitting. “Not if you don’t want to kiss me.”
“So you are into me.” Oikawa teases, giddy with excitement, while you sputter, “I didn’t fucking say that.”
“Is that why you’re always hanging around my room? I thought you were just a dedicated RA and—”
“Tooru, you’re the one who keeps locking yourself out of your room.”
“Well maybe there’s a reason why a smart guy like me would accidentally lock myself out of my room.” Oikawa teases as he sits down next to you on the bed.
“I thought you just liked annoying me.” you roll your eyes.
“I do,” Oikawa says, looking down before looking up through his eyelashes, trying to look seductive. “But mostly, you just look good standing by my door.”
You shake your head, smiling. “Well, are you going to kiss me? I’ve been waiting since the start of the semester.”
But before he can even lean in, a loud banging from the bathroom door interrupts, “Are you guys done yet? I just washed my sheets and—”
“Shut the hell up!” Oikawa yells, as you laugh. “Sorry about him.”
You poke at his side. “It’s okay. Here, let me roll the blunt first.”
Oikawa watches as you pull out a piece of gum and separate it from its wrapper. “I don’t have any rolling paper right now, but gum wrapper works.”
It’s something so simple but god you’re hot.
You shake your head laughing as you roll it. “Next time, just ask me when you want to smoke. I have connections, and this is really old school.”
“Okay.” Oikawa says, focused on the way you lick the wrapper to seal it, “Yeah, next time.”
“I’ll only do one because you losers have never done this before, and I don’t want any liability. Open the window when you light it up, or the smoke alarm might ring.”
Oikawa just nods obediently.
“Do you know how to inhale it properly?”
“Can you teach me?”
“Just inhale it and keep it in as long as you can.” you explain. “Try not to cough.”
“That’s vague.” Oikawa whines and you laugh.
“Sorry, you didn’t pay for smoking lessons.” you respond.
“I haven’t paid at all.”
“So? Pay now.” you tease, a challenging glint in your eyes as you lean in for what you’ve been waiting for.
It was a fairytale kind of kiss. Pure. Disney-friendly. Heartwarming. The stuff of dreams. At least that’s how he’ll describe it to Iwaizumi when he calls him. In truth, it was rather… slutty (feminist).
If Oikawa thinks about it, it couldn’t really have gone any other way. It’s been a long semester for him too. You’ve been a menace. Sometimes, Oikawa leaves his dorm at the tender hour of three in the afternoon, and you’re strutting about in tight leggings and a crop top. I mean, how is he supposed to pay attention in class after experiencing a debilitating event like that? Life could be so sick and twisted.
So really, he just says fuck this and goes for it. The Oikawa from a few months ago would have settled for a quick kiss, even just a little peck, but the current Oikawa has been through it. So what if he uses tongue? If his hands end up wandering elsewhere? If he cops a feel of your ass? Who can blame him? Live, laugh, lobotomy or whatever those inspirational quotes say.
Before it can go further though, Kuroo exits the bathroom, covering his eyes and yelling “Okay enough, you guys are done. Do it in your own time.”
The two of you laugh, though he pouts when you pull away. You give him a quick peck, before gathering yourself and walking to the door. “You know where to find me.”
“Thanks for the text, Tetsu. You can open your eyes now.”
Oh, how Oikawa lovesto watch you go.
The door closes behind you and Kuroo quickly assesses the state of his room. He looks at Oikawa who has a shit eating grin on his face and says, “You look too happy. I don’t think it was just a simple kiss.”
Oikawa smirks. “Sorry, I don’t kiss and tell.”
.
.
.
Oikawa did bring something other than the weed and his cute self— a lighter. He takes it out of his pocket and says, “Let’s light this bad boy up.”
They’re like two little rats, huddling up at Kuroo’s desk. Oikawa starts the lighter while Kuroo holds the blunt. And without a drumroll, it’s lit.
Oikawa whoops as he watches Kuroo put one end of the blunt to his mouth and take a drag. Kuroo’s chest rises as he inhales, and he thinks it’s a successful hit until Kuroo breaks out into a coughing fit.
“God,” Oikawa sighs, taking the blunt from him, “Do you need water or something?”
Kuroo continues to cough and shakes his head, raising his hand. His eyes are watering and Oikawa feels a little bad, but he can’t help but say, “Man, you’re so weak.’
Kuroo glares at him, but it doesn’t have the same effect when his eyes are all watery and he’s wheezing like an asthmatic. “You try it then!”
Oikawa rolls his eyes. How hard could it be?
He brings the blunt to his mouth and takes a deep inhale. He tries to follow what you said, but all he can remember is his hands on your ass. The only warning he gets is a slight tickle at his throat before he too, is subject to a coughing fit.
Kuroo laughs, taking the blunt from him. “Ah, Oikawa Tooru. Who’s the loser now?”
.
.
.
They do end up getting used to it, passing it back and forth, until they end up lying on Kuroo’s dirty carpeted floor.
They’re blasting some random Spotify playlist in the background, and Oikawa suddenly feels a little emotional. Who knew this stupid rooster head he got randomly paired up with in his freshman year would end up being one of his best friends? And now they’re sharing a new experience together, lighting their first blunt. It’s so wholesome he’s lowkey tearing up.
“Bro,” Kuroo says concerned, “Are you crying?”
“Shut up!” Oikawa says, covering his face with his hands. “There’s just something in my eye.”
“Like what? Dust?” Kuroo snickers. “You’re totally emotional right now. I can’t believe you’re an emo stoner.”
“Literally shut the fuck up.” Oikawa grunts, feeling lame as fuck as he wipes his eyes. He blames it on the drugs. “I’m just so sad… about my big fat juicy ass.”
He wishes he could immortalize Kuroo’s face the moment he hears the words. But his senses are dulled, brain feeling fuzzy— all he can remember is Kuroo wheezing on the ground as tears stream down his face. “You,” he wheezes, “your ass is not even that—”
Oikawa tries to smack him but he swings into thin air. “Fuck off, you can’t say anything!”
“It’s not big at all.”
“You have no room to speak, flat ass.” Oikawa says, wiping his tears.
Silence fills the air for a while. It’s peaceful, and Oikawa thinks he might fall asleep until—
“My ass is notflat. Take that shit back.”
Nevermind.
.
.
.
Oikawa wishes he could say all the time he spends in the gym is paying off. To be fair, he does think his ass is getting fatter and his biceps are bigger than they were before. But doesn’t working out help you get stronger too? Kuroo doesn’t even fucking go to the gym and he can still hold his own against him in an arm wrestling competition.
After a non-homoerotic fisting session (do you mean a fist fight? Iwaizumi had asked, horrified when Oikawa retells the story later on. He isn’t an idiot, he knows what he means but he thinks it’s funny to tease him), they settle down.
They’re still lying on the carpet, just two bros vibing in this chaotic world.
“Tooru, can you lower the music? I think I can hear something.”
Oikawa glances over. “Oh, that was just me bro. I farted.”
Kuroo looks over in disgust. “Okay gross. But I’m serious, I can hear a beeping sound.”
Oikawa sighs as he rolls over, grabbing the phone to do as he’s told.
“I can’t hear anything.”
Kuroo shushes him, looking so concentrated Oikawa think he mights shit his pants, and then his eyes widen. “Oh fuck,oh god it’s the smoke detector! Get the fuck up right now, fuck—”
Oikawa rises faster than the second coming of Christ. Alarm bells go off in his head. “Oh my god,” he yells, staring at the smoke detector, “oh fuck, what do we do—”
But Kuroo is already going through the five stages of grief, holding his head in his hands. “I’m going to get fired. I’m going to be homeless. I’m going to be the first RA fired for smoking weed and getting caught—”
Oikawa cannot let his bro do this to himself. He slaps Kuroo with all the love he has for him and grabs him by the shoulder. “Tetsu, listen to me. You’re not going to get caught, get your shit together right now.”
Suddenly, your words from earlier flash through his head. “The window! Tetsu, the window!” Oikawa yells, pushing Kuroo towards it. “Open the damn window, I’ll start fanning the smoke.”
Kuroo stumbles his way to the window, panic making his hands clumsy, proving to be detrimental to his task. Eventually,he manages to pull it open, while Oikawa flaps a pillow at the smoke as if he’s a bird trying to take flight.
“Shut up already!” Oikawa yells at the detector, as if it could listen to him.
Kuroo takes the blunt they were smoking and throws it into a week old cup of coffee laying around on his desk. It’s only after all these measures that the smoke detector finally stops ringing.
The adrenaline rushes out of their system like the smoke and they fall to the floor, looking like the final five minutes of a yoga class.
Oikawa’s heart hasn’t even found peace before Kuroo lifts his head and asks, “Wanna try rolling another one?”
.
.
.
Oikawa is what mere mortals would call a genius. But only selectively, because it’s too much effort to be good at everything. Sometimes, even geniuses like him want to have fun.
But on the rare day that being a genius and having fun aligns, it’s a damn good day.
“You cannot call yourself a genius for rolling a blunt.” Kuroo scoffs, but he’s simply jealous that when he tried, all the weed kept falling out. “Y/N taught you so it’s not a fair fight.”
“Unfortunately, I just watched her.” Oikawa sighs, thinking about how you could teach him while sitting on his lap. Next time.
“You gonna date her?” Kuroo asks, passing the blunt to him.
“I don’t know. It’s not like we talked about it. I’ll think about it later.” Oikawa takes a drag and breathes out. “I doubt she’s looking for anything serious.”
He passes the blunt back to Kuroo who takes a long, long drag. It makes Oikawa laugh, “Woah, take it easy bro.”
“It’s fine.” he shrugs it off. “I need it.”
“Damn, you really have been stressed, huh?” Oikawa says, patting his shoulder. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Don’t tell me you’re getting all emo again.” Kuroo teases. “I don’t want to think about any of it right now anyway. This is nice.”
“I know.” Oikawa marvels. “I can’t believe this is the first time we’ve tried to destress like this.”
“I think my methods are fine.”
“Eating three pints of ice cream every time you fail a test is far from fine.”
“Yeah it is. It makes me happy.”
Oikawa shrugs and lets it go. Really, he can’t argue with that. Who is he to prevent Kuroo from getting diabetes?
“Speaking of happiness, you know what would be good right now?” Kuroo asks.
Oikawa shakes his head.
“Chicken nuggets and fries.”
“Bro.”
.
.
.
In times of need, they call their honorary college bro: Bokuto.
Also known as Kuroo’s high school volleyball bronemesis, the sass master, Oikawa’s gym buddy and many other names.
Today, he is their delivery man.
Kuroo puts him on speaker. “Hey! What’s up bro?”
“I’m with Tooru.”
“Hey bro!” Oikawa pipes up.
“Bro! Where are you guys?”
“Nothing you want to know—” Oikawa says mysteriously at the same time Kuroo says, “We’re smoking weed in an empty parking lot.”
“Say no more.” Bokuto says.
“Bro, you love us right?” Kuroo asks.
There’s a silence and then comes Bokuto’s hesitant voice, “What do you need?”
“Can you buy us chicken nuggets and fries from McDonalds?”
“I want coke!” Oikawa hurriedly adds.
“Two cokes,” Bokuto confirms, “I’ll meet you at Tetsu’s dorm?”
“Yeah, we’ll be there.”
.
.
.
The two bros skip their way back to Kuroo’s dorm holding hands. What a sight that would have been, but it’s college. Surely, there’s been weirder encounters.
Bokuto arrives a few minutes later, and is greeted by their cheers.
“Our Saviour is here!” Oikawa whoops, grabbing the food and drinks out of Bokuto’s hands, as Kuroo launches himself onto Bokuto for a hug.
“Bro! Did you get that sauce I like?”
Bokuto rolls his eyes. For the first time ever,he’s the most sensible one in the room. “Of course, how could I forget?”
Oikawa is smiling, but not at them. At the food, which he is carefully setting up on the floor. He hopes Kuroo has vacuumed this floor at least once this semester. He knows he’s going to drop a fry on the floor, and he’s not physically okay enough to calculate how much bacteria builds up on a french fry after the five second rule.
(Later, he drops a french fry and eats it anyway.)
Like all good things, their night ends. McDonalds devoured, and heart finally at peace— Oikawa is ready to go home.
“Let’s do this again bro!” he says as he gives Kuroo a hug.
“After finals?” Kuroo says, squeezing him tight.
“Sure.”
“Text me when you’re home. Love you bro.”
“Love you too, Tetsu.” Oikawa says, smiling. His heart feels warm at the sentiment. He was about to bully Kuroo into saying Oikawa is the best roommate in the world, but he’ll settle for love you bro.
Fuck toxic masculinity.
Bokuto drives him home, although his dorm is only two blocks away and bids his goodbyes too. He feels happy; there’s stars in the sky, weed in his system. What more could he ask for but sleep?
When he arrives at his front door, getting ready to put his key in the lock, he pauses. He turns his head to the left, and looks at the door at the far end.
He’s drawn to it, and finds himself knocking before he can have any second thoughts.
He hears footsteps at the door, and there’s a brief nerve-wrecking moment where he’s tempted to run away— then the door opens, revealing you in a massive t-shirt.
“Hi.” Oikawa greets, feeling sheepish now that you’re in front of him. “Am I bothering you?”
You smile softly at him. “No, I was waiting for you.”
a/n:you’re welcome. just kidding!! this is one of my most favourite fics so i hope you enjoyed reading it… i tend to write a lot of serious long fics so it must be weird seeing this but alas, i have hidden depths. two buddies smoking weed can be so personal.
writing silly fics like these make me wonder why i torture myself with all my long fics… p.s some scenes may or may not be based off of my irl experiences… heh
He isn’t even looking at you. He’s lying down on your bed, scrolling through his phone. He is the worst boyfriend in the world.
You sigh, putting your hands on your hips. “How can I not be worried? We’re having dinner together with our families.”
Oikawa rolls his eyes, but it’s fond. “Y/N, you’ve had dinner with them a thousand times. You’ve known my parents since you were ten.”
“But this is different, Tooru.” you say, picking up a dirty sock on the floor and hurling it at his face. Sadly, you miss.
Oikawa doesn’t even notice, just parrots your words in a high-pitched voice, and laughs when you let out an annoyed yell.
You could yell at him. You could march right up to him and hit him with a pillow.
“You’re laughing,” you say in disbelief, “I’m so anxious and worried right now about meeting your parents for the first time as your girlfriend, instead of just your best friend, and you’re laughing.”
“You’re so dramatic,” Oikawa puts his phone down finally, stretching his arms. His shirt rides up a little bit and you have to resist looking because you’re annoyed — you won’t allow yourself to waver just because he’s showing a little skin. You’re better than this. He isn’t even trying. “Come here, my pretty baby.”
“No,” you turn up your nose, crossing your arms. “You come over here.”
“Pleaseeeee,” Oikawa whines, “Don’t be mad. Come on bestie.”
You don’t budge. Work harder, Oikawa Tooru.
“Baby, baby, baby, baby,” he chants, trying to be annoying, but you’re the annoying one in this relationship. He has to do better than that.
Oikawa stops when he realises he’s not getting anywhere, and it’s silent for a moment— a moment too long in your humble opinion. But you’re still turned away, determined to act as petulant as possible despite the fact that you want so badly to turn and see what he’s doing.
You don’t have to wait long though, because Oikawa clears his throat and says, “Hey, do you remember when we were in elementary school and you accidentally called our teacher ‘Dad’?”
You whip your head around immediately to see him with the most nonchalant expression on his face, looking at his nails. “Shut up, that was so embarrassing, why would you bring that up?”
But Oikawa just carries on, “There was also this time when you were going to confess to what’s his name? That kid who dyed their hair blond and always skipped class—”
“I don’t remember him,” you glare.
“I wish I didn’t remember him,” Oikawa shakes his head, “You secretly made him homemade chocolate with peanuts on Valentine’s day, because that was your favourite kind, but then he came to class all upset because someone had left food he was allergic to on his desk. And then our teacher had to lecture us on kindness and how we shouldn’t be threatening people—”
“Oh my god,” you cover your ears, but it’s no use because Oikawa has always been a loud talker. He learned it from the best (you, obviously).
“Wait, do you remember when we sneaked out to go to a party for the first time, and you got so drunk that I had to carry you home? But you were making so much noise, you woke your parents and I,” Oikawa puts a solemn hand on his chest, “had to watch you try to fool your mother, even though you couldn’t even stand up straight, and then promptly puked over—”
“Be quiet!” you huff, but he only raises a brow, “But Y/N, I have so many other stories to tell and you’re just so far away—”
Your fingers are curling at your side. Your ears feel hot. These are the memories that keep you awake at night and he’s bringing it all up. Oikawa has witnessed too many embarrassing moments in your life. You have to kill him.
You march up to him at full speed and immediately cover his mouth, and the two of you go toppling down the bed. You try to grab a pillow to suffocate him with, but in your attempt to do that, Oikawa manages to roll you over and you’re the one who ends up trapped. He smiles, “Finally got you.”
You glare at him, “I’m going to break up with you.”
“No, you won’t.” Oikawa says, confidently, and then he suddenly drops his weight on you as you groan in pain. “Tooru, please try to remember how heavy you actually are.”
Oikawa rubs his head against yours, snaking his arm around your waist in an effort to hug you, “Are you actually worried about our dinner?”
“Yes,” you pout, “I’ve been telling you this whole time. Were you not listening?”
“I was,” he says, “I just didn’t realise you were actually serious about it. Baby, they love you. You’re family. You’ve had a seat at our dining table for years now. They’ve known you longer than my sister’s boyfriend.”
“They know me too well,” you frown, “you’re okaachan’s baby, and i don’t know if I fit the person she imagined you bringing home.”
Oikawa sighs, pulling himself up just enough so that he can look at your face. “I get it. I get that it’s probably weird for you too, considering my mom has been like a second mom for you all these years.”
“Yeah,” you say in a small voice, “You get me.”
“Comes with being by your side for the past ten years,” Oikawa grins, and then he says, “I’m going to tell you something embarrassing right now, which I know you’re going to bring up to tease me about—”
“I would never,” you smile, knowing you totally would.
“I don’t believe you,” Oikawa rolls his eyes, “but I’m going to tell you anyway, because it’ll make you feel so much better about this whole thing.”
You nod, “Okay, go on.”
He sighs, aggressively, “Mom knows I’ve had a stupid crush on you for years now. Long before I even knew about it, and she used to tease me about when I was going to ask you out. I suffered so much and I’d always be like, I can’t ask her out, she doesn’t like me like that.”
Oikawa imitates his mom’s voice, “Tooru, please open your eyes. She clearly likes you.”
You actually feel a little shy at hearing that. It’s one thing to be called obvious by a bunch of your friends, but for his mom to clearly see it? That’s a whole new level of embarrassment.
You clear your throat, “You, uh, should have listened to her. She’s always right.”
“Why should I make the first move?” Oikawa argues, “You know I’d never ask someone out if I was even one percent unsure.”
“You’re the older one between the two of us,” you retort.
He laughs, “Suddenly, I’m the older one.”
“Yeah, those three months mean you’ve eaten ninety more bowls of rice. Look at how tall you are. Wish I had those extra months.” you joke, and Oikawa falls onto his back laughing.
You turn to your side, so you can follow the way his body shakes with laughter. Watching the way his body slowly settles, how his large grin becomes a soft smile. Oikawa reaches over and pinches your nose, “Don’t be worried about dinner. There’s nobody else they’d rather have with me than you.”
“Okay,” you breathe out, and with it, all the tension in your body.
Oikawa’s hand comes to rest gently at your cheek, and he leans closer to press a soft kiss against your lips. You barely get to kiss him back before he pulls away.
“You’ll see,” he smiles, the sight of it comforting and familiar, “It’ll feel just like coming home.”
a/n: just a special little valentine’s day thing featuring some of my favorite boys <3
the type of kiss and when it happened was all pulled out of a hat at random, but i think all of these are super cute! i hope all of you have a nice valentine’s day! love always, star
it happens after dinner, as you get up from the table to wash the dishes. despite you and your boyfriend a few hours before giggling and swaying in each other’s arms as music played in the background of your new and unpacked apartment with equally flushed faces, it was this action that flustered you the most.
the heterochromic boy, feeling uncharacteristically bold, stands and pulls you back towards him by your wrist, your lips meeting his in an instant. you find yourself melting into the kiss as his gentle hands now find themselves on your waist and on your face tilting your head deepening the kiss a little more. you pull away first, flushed and needing air as you stare at grown boy in front of you. atsushi smiles softly at you as he brushes away stray hairs from your face.
“you know you could’ve just asked me to stay?” you ask playfully, a faint blush still plastered on your features, making atsushi’s heart soar.
he only smiles cheekily at you as he retorts, “yeah, but then i wouldn’t get a kiss” the tone in his voice shifts however, to a familiar gentle and soothing tone, “happy valentine’s day (y/n)! thanks for coming into my life, i love you”
it’s unexpected, came out of nowhere on the walk to campus after picking you up from ramshackle. grim no where in sight babbling something about wanting to sleep in a little longer. the kiss was long and sweet, not like the quick, chaste pecks ace usually gives. when he moves away, you know that there’s a dust of blush on your cheeks, but you know his are worse, but you know well by now not to call him out on it. you want to ask where it came from, but he cuts you off, voice evidently showing his embarrassment.
“d-don’t think too much of it!” he looks away from you as he stammers slightly. you giggle as you shake your head fondly choosing not to say anything, but smile contently and continue to look at him as it looks like he has more to say.
“…it’s just cause cater and trey senpai lectured me the other day…said that maybe lack of affection outside might make you worried or something like that, especially since it’s almost valentine’s day. well, today is valentine’s day but i think you get what i mean… right?”
you blink in surprise, but then giggle taking his hand in yours making him splutter as you speak softly giving him smile that makes his heart pound. “…thanks ace, i appreciate it. happy valentine’s day, i love you”
he looks away grumbling under his breath, but doesn’t pull his hand away instead intertwining your fingers together with his.
“…yeah, i love you too prefect”
—♡ MAMMON / OBEY ME! ♡ ; HAND / EVENING
it was something you never saw coming as mammon has always been quite flustered with romantic words and actions, stumbling over them slightly even when it was just the two of you. it was same as always, you and mammon making your way back home to the house of lamentation after another day at RAD hands interlocked. you were talking about the plans you and your demon boyfriend had that evening, a movie in your room, snacks, cuddles, you know, the typical sleepover works, but when you look up at the white haired male, you find that he was already looking at you.
you stop walking and nudge mammon lightly, “hey, what’s up?”
“n-nothing’s up!”, he stumbled, “s-silly human, nothing’s wrong with the great mammon!”
you raise an eyebrow but your retort dies in your mouth as you realize that your boyfriend looks more serious than normal.
he says nothing but raises your intertwined hands up towards his lips making your breath hitch. he eyes are closed as he presses a warm and heartfelt kiss onto the top of your hands. your cheeks already feel warm, but you can tell they get darker as mammon opens eyes, full of emotion.
warmth. adoration.love.
“did ya think i forgot it was valentine’s day? ya really are stupid huh”
you give him a hard shove and he complains, but you both know that neither of you really mean anything because of the giant grins on your faces. the two of you fall back into a rhythm hands interlocked once more walking back home.
“i love you (y/n), ya better not forget it!”
—♡ LUKE PEARCE / TEARS OF THEMIS ♡ ; FOREHEAD / AFTERNOON
kisses from your boyfriend are random, but are sincere and sweet, just like your relationship. it’s valentine’s day and like you expected, luke shows up at your front door step with breakfast and your whole day planned.
for hours and hours, the two of you explore stellis, dropping by at little shops full of books, knickknacks, small cafes, pet shops, just about everywhere.
it was currently a bit into afternoon, and the detective found himself getting dragged into a little book store. it was quaint, but it had a certain charm to it; the atmosphere was calming and smelled like leather and old books. he watched fondly as you made your way through various shelved until one section caught your eye.
you pulled out a book and briefly scanned its contents before facing luke excitement practically vibrating off your figure babbling on about the contents. he admires your features, a soft look in his eyes making you freeze and feel a bit self conscious.
“hey! w-what are you looking at?”
your detective boyfriend chuckles lightly before placing his hands onto your cheeks bringing your head close to him. he places a loving kiss onto your forehead and he can feel your cheeks get warmer, something that makes a triumphant grin appear on his face.
his smile and the look in his eyes are enough to make you melt. but what really does it for you is what he says afterwards. as a lawyer, you’ve trained yourselves to be unwavering when listening to others, knowing that if you let your guard down, it can change the outcome of your case if you believe the lies and fall for the tricks.
“just someone special. my someone special to be completely specific, my watson~ happy valentine’s day, i love you. always had, always will.”
but you can’t help but break down all your walls for luke pearce.
you can’t help but snuggle deeper into tsuzuru’s hold, burying your face into his neck, the warmth radiating from him helping you drift off. but you control yourself knowing that once you pass out, your workaholic of a boyfriend would just tuck you in and get right back to work.
it’s two am, too early to be up, but for you and your boyfriend it’s the norm. especiallythe week a script is due, which it so happened to be. getting permission to stay over at mankai from izumi to take care of him during this crucial time period was an absolute blessing knowing tsuzuru’s sleep depriving habits.
it was only day two and said scriptwriter already has coffee and energy drinks for blood. so in light of that, a few moments ago, you’ve taken it upon yourself, (as quietly as you can to not wake masumi) to drag your boyfriend to bed to sleep, or at the very minimum take a small nap. it took a while, but you manage to get him in bed, but despite the longing of his body to sleep he just can’t.
there’s too many ideas for plot, character, lines all up in his head. he knows he can’t escape from you any time soon, and that you’re not gonna fall asleep before making sure he does first, so he might as well have someone to bounce ideas off of.
the two are practically pressed chest to chest, exchanging whimsical ideas for a play fit for mankai’s spring troupe, whispering everything knowing how bad of a temper his grouchy roommate could have. but as time went on, you both moved on from the theater talk to more random things.
whispers turning to giggles, and giggles turning to guffaws earning pillows thrown in your direction from masumi’s bed.
“you know what i just realized?” you whisper.
“if you say something about the laundry incident im going to hit you” he deadpans.
“tsuzuru! im serious!”
he rolls his eyes but a fond smile is present as he brushes hair out of your face, “okay what is it?”
“today’s valentine’s day!”, you whisper excitedly.
he blinks before realization dawns on his face, and you take the opportunity to make fun of him a little bit.
“for a scriptwriter and actor, you seem to be speechless. nothing to say? no sonnets to recite? you didn’t write a poem?”, you tease.
you laugh as he whisper yells at you, “don’t lump me in with homare-san!”
your laughs turn much quieter hearing a warning grunt from masumi, but you go silent as tsuzuru brings up a hand to your chin, tilting your head up and pressing an affectionate kiss to your forehead.
he then pulls you closer to him your face once again buried in the crook of your neck and you smile contently.
“sorry that you’re here taking care of me today and for the rest of week instead of us going out, but i really appreciate it”
your eyes begin to droop, but you fight it as you know he has more to say.
“and about those sonnets? and poems? i don’t think anything i write is going to express how much i love you. there isn’t enough words”, he chuckles, “but there are a few things that i can say”
his tone grows a little quieter knowing you’re on the bridge of drifting off, and you fall asleep with his sweet words the last thing on your mind.
“happy valentine’s day (y/n), i love you. more than anything.”
somehow, you have the feeling that tsuzuru wont be leaving this bed anytime soon.
—♡ KYAN REKI / SK8 THE INFINITY ♡ ; LIPS / MORNING
the weather is sunny and warm as always in okinawa and you wait outside the kyan household with your bike one hand, reki’s gift in another. it was valentine’s day after all.
you sigh, smile and shake your head fondly as you hear the chaos that was the kyan household on a regular morning.
loud and full of life.
your smile only widens as your red headed boyfriend comes tumbling through his front door, in hand his beloved skateboard and roses…??
you raise an eyebrow and in return he sheepishly smiles at you, his hand scratching the back of his neck in slight embarrassment. but nonetheless, he beams at you and you can feel your knees weaken.
“i got them for you! happy valentine’s day!”
your heart melts and you accept the bouquet from reki wondering how you managed to snag such a sweet boyfriend.
as you admire the flowers, reki is busy admiring you.
(it’s one of his favorite past times. even more than skateboarding! and who cares if miya and langa say he has a dumb dopey look on his face when he does!)
you catch him staring you and you giggle, his grin only widening. though his face changes to one of confusion as pink suddenly takes his vision. you move the small pink bag away from his face and give him a cheeky smile as you place the small gift in his palm.
he puts his skateboard on the ground and looks at you, and you encourage him to open it, “go ahead, it’s for you. but start with the envelope”
he does whaat you says and gasps in excitement, “are these stickers for my skateboard?!”
“yup! take a closer look!”
he gasps again as he looks at the designs of the stickers. on them are little doodles of you, him, and your friends; the same ones he doodles on his notebooks.
he looks at you adoration clear in his eyes, “did make my drawings into stickers?!”
he smile at him nodding as he looks through all of them. when he gets to the last one, he freezes as he soaks in the design. it was a heart shaped one of you and him, the doodle looking like it’s inspired by one of your selfies together. he also takes note that the whole doodle is in your art style making it 100 times more amazing he thinks.
he takes a peak at you and see that you’re already looking at him, a fond and peaceful look on your features that makes his cheeks flare up. he looks back into the bag and pulls out a bracelet. the sight of it lights up and fumble for something in his back pocket confusing you.
but that moment is short lived as he pulls out two matching bracelets. the action makes your eyes widen and you pull up the sleeve of your jacket showing off a bracelet that matched the one you gave him.
you looked at each other briefly before bursting out in joyful laughter.
after your laughing fit was over the two of you exchanged loving looks, the two of you both have dusty pink cheeks.
“so i guess two brains think alike! who would’ve thought we would’ve given each other matching bracelets!” reki gleefully exclaims.
you giggle before launching yourself into his arms, the action making him nearly drop his present, but he reacts quick and wraps his arms around your frame.
god, he truly is in love with you.
andman does he wanna kiss you right now.
and he does just that.
your eyes widen as you process his lips on yours, but just like your boyfriend, you react quick and kiss him back. you can feel him smiling through the kiss and you’re sure he can feel you smiling too. the kiss is warm and full of passion, just like reki.
when the two of you pull away, you’re both breathless. you lean your forehead against his and give him a quick peck on the nose, a peaceful smile on your lips.
“happy valentine’s day, (y/n). thanks for sticking around!”
—♡ KIRISHIMA IKUYA / FREE! ♡ ; HAND / EARLY HOURS
despite a long day of work (for you) and practice (for ikuya) and college (for the both of you unfortunately), you find yourself having a pleasant chat with your boyfriend on his bed.
you’re both facing each other, blanket haphazardly thrown over your waists, and shy adoring smiles on your faces.
as ikuya talks about his iwatobi, his hometown, you take one of his hands and begin to play with it; you trace shapes like hearts and stars on his palms and play with his fingers, eventually interlocking his fingers with yours.
at the action, he pauses his story and raises an eyebrow at you, a knowing smile set on his features.
“what’s up?”
you hum as you squeeze his hand in yours, “nothing much, just admiring the look of our hands. they look good together yeah?”
the teal haired boy flushes and you laugh at him, your amusement evident.
you smirk at your boyfriend and he internally curses at you for being good looking.
“you make it too easy ikuya”
“be quiet (y/n)”
your smirk turns to one of a mischievous grin to which ikuya only rolls his eyes in response. but afterwards, a thoughtful look makes its way onto his face making you confused.
“what’s wrong?” you ask worriedly.
he says nothing, but only brings your still intertwined hands close to him and places a long, loving kiss on the back of your hand. this time, you’re the one with a flushed face.
the way he looks at you after would have made your knees wobble if you standing up, but the affect on your heart would still be the same; it’s beating a little faster and you’re positive ikuya can hear it too.
“look at the time” he whispers softly.
you do as he says and turn behind to see the clock on the night stand.
3:27 AM
he chuckles as you turn back to him with a puzzled look on your tired features.
“it’s valentine’s day (y/n)”
your mouth forms into an “o” shape as the realization dawns on you.
“ah”
ikuya snorts before kissing your hand once again. contentment, peace, and love shining through in his smile and in his beautiful eyes.
“i love you (y/n), happy valentine’s day”
—♡ OIKAWA TOORU / HAIKYUU!! ♡ ; CHEEK / AFTERNOON
you wait by the door as you watch your stupidly handsome boyfriend wrap up practice. you find yourself sighing as you watch tooru get hit in the face by other volleyball by no other than iwaizumi hajime.
“he just never seems to learn does he,” you find yourself muttering, rolling your eyes.
looking back up, you find yourself making eye contact with makki and mattsun, and you give them a lazy salute as they grin lazily at you. but those lazy grins turn a little more mischievous as they make their way towards you at the door.
“hey (y/n)”
“hey makki, mattsun. what’s up?”
the two friends wrap an arm around each of your shoulders and you can feel an impending headache coming on, and surprisingly, it’s not from them.
you countdown from three in your head and lo and behold three seconds pass and before makki or mattsun have the chance to say anything you find yourselvs in your boyfriend’s arms.
“leave (y/n) alone! i’m the one going on a date tonight! not you two!”
you roll your eyes at your melodramatic boyfriend before shoving him off ignoring his whines and the other third year’s snickers.
“well there won’t be much of a date if we’re late, stupid”
“you’re spending too much time with iwa-chan!”, he screams, “iwa-chan! im banning you from (y/n)! 10 feet apart at all times!”
“leave me out of this shittykawa!”
“GEH (y/n)! iwa-chan’s being a brute aga—HEY (Y/N)! WAIT FOR ME”
not listening, you begin to walk faster only turning around to give your friends and boyfriend another lazy salute, only slowly down your pace when you hear rapid footsteps catching up to you.
you smile as he matches your pace, finding a rhythm and walking next to you, still slightly panting.
“you’re so mean you know that?” he whines.
you snorted and shove him with your shoulder lightly. “well someone has to be tooru”
“i beg to differ”
you raise an eyebrow at him, amusement and slight disbelief in your tone, “are you pouting?”
“no! no im not”
“i actually have a 5 year old for company”
“your company happens to be your beloved boyfriend thank you very much!”
“that doesn’t make me feel better”
“(y/n)!”
you laugh at the mock betrayal in his voice, finding amusement with the whole situation. afterwards, you smile at him knowing he’s still pouting and nudge him again with your shoulder.
“come on, this date won’t happen on its own now would it?”
the playfulness in your voice makes oikawa smirk slightly, but the fondness is there all the same.
he presses a swift but heartfelt kiss on your cheek making you laugh out in joy.
“happy valentine’s day (n/n)! love you so much kay?”, he flashes you a genuine grin, one he rarely shows in public, it’s full of childishness and excitement and you can help but but grin.
“now let’s go! we’ve got shops and cafes to visit!”
he begins to run and he grabs you by the wrist leading you to your next destination, another place to make more memories to last a lifetime.
you’re grinning so hard you think your face’ll fall off.
WOOO!! ITS STILL VALENTINE’S DAY HERE SO YES I DID IT
i love my boys all the same, but i think it’s obvious to see which ones i kind of struggled on. but! nonetheless this whole thing was really fun! i haven’t had this much fun writing in a while so it was really nice to just get back into the groove. i hope you all had a good valentine’s day!
and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize, repost, or translate on here or any other sites!
cw:hints at a past toxic/unhealthy relationship, might contain errors
wc:tbc
an:i wrote this half asleep
you‘ve dreaded for this moment to come.
you‘ve tried to drag it out for as long as you possibly could have. but one can only do so much when something, had already been written down on your faith book. all that dodging goes down the drain when his brown eyes look you up and down while he stands by the door way.
“hey.”
“oh,”
just by looking at him, you can feel all the memories hit you like a truck. all the things you‘ve done just to drag this moment for so long, falls straight to that hole, dragging you by your ankles.
“how‘re ya?” he smiles so sweetly as if he had not just broken your heart merely months ago, as if he hadn‘t ripped it into shreds right before your very eyes, speaking so casually as if he had not just left you there as a broken piece.
“what’re you doing here, oikawa?” you hate that you easily allowed him to walk into your life again just by ringing your doorbell. you hate how easy it is for him to walk back into your life and act so casually. you hate how easy it is for him to see your protective barriers dissolve into thin just because you saw him.
in short, you hate him.
“i just want to talk.” oh, there he goes again, seducing you with his tongue as he did before. those words of his, they fall so easily from his lips. whether he knows it or not, it surely makes an impact on you. an impact you wish would not sway you.
“i don‘t want to. goodbye.” is your stern reply before you shut the door out. there is no desire in you, nor does you brain allow you to talk to him. however your heart, it so deeply wants it, no matter how irrational it may seem.
and as if he had heard your heart‘s desire, he sets his foot between the frame and the shutter. his hand on the wooden door as he looks at you with his pleading brown eyes.
“please,” he pleads. you hate it. “i‘ve— i‘ve got no one else to walk to. you‘re the only one i‘ve got left. i— i can‘t hold it in anymore.”
you hate him.
you hate this situation.
you hate it all.
you hate it so much because you allow him to walk into your home with his face falling into the crook of his neck. you swallow thickly as you shut the door with your foot, feeling his tears fall unto your skin as his hands clutch your waist ever so tightly; like you‘d run away if he doesn‘t.
as you lead him to the kitchen with his sobs falling past his lips, you also feel your tears brim your eyes. all your efforts are gone, simple as that, within the blink of an eye, gone as if it had never existed in the first place. you tried so hard to move on. for months and months on end, actively distracting yourself so hard to get over him.
it was stupid of you to think you‘re actually over him when you know deep inside you‘d let him so easily walk back into your life like this.
“i can‘t do this anymore, (y/n)!” he cries. a bottle of wine in his hand as he curls himself on the corner. you wish to yell ’so can‘t i!’ at him as well, but you can‘t. if you do so, you feel like you‘d break your fragile heart even more.
time passes just like that. and now it‘s quarter past three. you‘re intoxicated, and so is he. he‘s a sobbing mess, and you‘re no better.
“c— can‘t we just go back to the way it was? before.. before it was all so complicated..?” he cries, looking at you with pleading eyes. with those words, you only feel more tears bleed from your eyes as your skin grows warmer.
“tooru—” you stutter, clenching your fists as you wrap your hands around yourself. “we- we can‘t keep doing this, okay? i— i can‘t be your friend, we— i— we‘ve just gone through so much! and i feel that if we become friends again, it would just through away everything we had had. everything we kept so sacredly would be nothing.”
“no! i— we can try again—!”
“no we can‘t!” you finally exclaim. fat tears are dripping harshly from your eyes as you put your hands on your head, clenching the roots of your hair tightly. “no matter how hard we fucking try it‘s never going to work out! the ending will always be the same because— for fuck sake— you and i were never meant to be in the first place!”
as much as it hurts you to say so, you have to say it. the truth hurts, and it always will.
“so please… don‘t make it harder than it already is. we can‘t keep doing this anymore, tooru.” you mumble through your sobs and he looks at you with his tears already down his neck, flowing harshly like a river.
silence wallows you both. only the sounds of tears, sniffles, and sobs echo throughout the room. the smell of heartbreak reeks harshly in the air, evading the once cool air, causing it to go stuffy.
“i guess— i guess we‘re never going to be it, huh?” he bitterly says to himself, looking at the ground as he swallows hard. “there really is no going anywhere with what he had, right?” he grits through his teeth, looking up and swallowing as he holds back the sobs stuck in his throat.
“tell me, did me showing up ruin things for you?” it seems like he has become sober, as if all the alcohol he had downed went out of his body. “because when i came here, i couldn‘t get a grip on myself. i wanted to maybe see, see if you would still take me in. i wore the things you like so that i‘d make even the slightest appeal. but i guess— i guess it won‘t do shit.” his voice falters with every line due to the emotions stuck on his throat.
you have no idea as to what you should say, because in truth, you‘re no better than he is. there is not a single bone in your body that‘s not telling you to run to back to him, but your mind seems to freeze your movements, saving you from the heartache.
“we- we never really went anywhere else, tooru.” you shakily sigh, looking down at him as you bite your lower lip. “so, we shouldn‘t be eachother‘s reason as to why we can‘t fall in love with someone else.”
you feel like dying as he nods, showing that he‘s agreeing. you don‘t want him to agree. no matter how much it hurt you and traumatized you to be with him, you can‘t just put him in the back of your head to be eventually forgotten.
“if— if this is then— let me— i—” he can‘t even comprehend a proper sentence. hands in his hair as he bawls his eyes out right there. you don‘t even notice it, when he runs up to you and hugs you so tightly. his hands are on your waist as he cries on to you, head above yours as he smells the familiar smell of your shampoo, hugging you tightly as he kisses your head. “i— i‘m sorry. we— i broke us off. i‘m sorry i broke your heart. but i can‘t let you go. my heart leads to you all the time, no matter where i am.”
“tooru—”
“but if me clinging unto you will hurt you more, then so be it.” he sadly whispers, giving you one last squeeze as he kisses your forehead lovingly, tears damping you up. “i won‘t drag this further. i‘ll set you free, set me in the past, and move on. i‘ll just take what i have left here so that you move on and forget about me.”
you can‘t even respond, unable to move as he walks past you, straight to your room. it breaks your heart worse, hearing him rummage through the closet you both once shared. it‘d been left untouched, you left it be. maybe because a part of you really hoped to let him back in. yet it with the turn of events, it won‘t happen anymore.
you stand there for as long as he finishes. he finally has everything he owns. the book you both read, the stuffed toy of him that he gave you, his highschool jersey that you loved so much, the shoes he owns that matches with yours, and lastly, the photo album you had made for him.
“i— i‘ve got it all.” he whispers, looking down as he clenches his full hands hard. “i‘m— going. i won‘t hurt you any longer.” his eyes never failed to meet yours as he speaks and he doesn‘t dare take a step towards you, in fear that if he does, then maybe he won‘t be able to leave after all.
“so maybe, this is goodbye.” he chuckles grimly with a forced smile, yet you cannot seem to return to him. not the chuckle. not the bitter smile. yet instead, the goodbye.
as the old saying goes, saying goodbye entails that you‘ll never see them ever again. you can‘t even bring yourself to speak as he walks away with a heavy heart, sobbing quietly before the door closes so loudly yet so quietly behind him. silence envelopes you as you fall to the ground before loud wails of heartbreak come from you.
now that he‘s gone, said his goodbye, he‘s no longer coming back, and now you‘ll be forced to let him stay merely in your memories.
content belongs to @shisnhou on tumblr! do not repost, copy, use, or modify!
“Come on, (y/n)! Why are you so slow?” Oikawa whines, already standing at your shared apartment’s entryway. “Taylor Swift won’t wait for us. Move faster!”
It was your birthday a few days ago and Oikawa gifted you with VIP tickets to Taylor Swift’s concert because he knows how much of a big fan you are of her and her music. He’s lowkey a fan too. So here you are now, still at your place, an hour away from the expected starting time of the concert. At this point, you’re not sure whether Oikawa bought the tickets for you or for himself. He could be a bigger Swiftie than you are.
“Calm down, Swiftie. Taylor won’t care if you’re late.” You roll your eyes at him before putting on the shoes that completed your outfit. He stretches his hand out to you, asking you to hold his hand. You teasingly shake your head no and he pouts, leaving your apartment first.
You follow behind him laughing. After catching up to him, you wrap your arms around his torso and forced yourself between his armpits. “You smell good.”
“No. Stay away from me. You don’t want to hold me.” Oikawa looks away from you, dragging your body along with him to the elevator. You start sniffing his underarm and he laughs, giving in to your hold. He takes your hand and intertwines it with his. “Reject my hand again and you’ll never get to hold me ever.”
“You’ll be the one suffering if that happens,” you tell in a matter-of-fact tone and it’s his turn to roll his eyes. The elevator door opens at the parking lot and Oikawa suddenly runs, leaving you to stand there confused. “Is he that excited to see Taylor Swift?”
You walk painfully slow, wanting to make fun of him. But to your dismay, he doesn’t give a reaction to your unhurried manner. Entering the car, you notice how much more fidgety he has become. But you don’t pay much attention to it and register it as his excitement for the concert.
The car ride is unusually quiet. Oikawa isn’t singing along to the song, or even paying attention to the road. He’s staring at blank space and this almost leads you to an accident. “Tooru, red light!” He steps on the brake suddenly, almost throwing you off of your seat.
“Sorry, angel. I’m thinking about the concert already.” He fakes a chuckle and clasps your hand with his. You glare at him. “I’m sorry.” Oikawa takes the back of your hand on his lips, giving it small gentle kisses multiple of times.
“Ew, your saliva,” you joke and he lets go of your hand almost immediately. You smile, forcing your hand in his.
It has always been like this. Your relationship has always been the one with playful banters and endless teasing. People would often mistake you as best friends because of that. If it weren’t for his strong desire to hold you every moment, no one would have known about your relationship. But nothing’s wrong with being best friends, too. The two of you actually prefer it that way.
Noticing how cold his hand is, you set the air conditioning of the car to lowest level. His head whips at you in concern. “Do you feel cold, angel?”
“No. But I think you are. Your hand is cold,” you point out and he becomes silent again. Not long after, you arrive at Tokyo Dome. The place is packed, but thanks to Oikawa’s professional athlete status, which is already equal to a celebrity’s, you avoid the crowd and enter the dome efficiently.
The concert starts exactly when you arrive and you hear Oikawa mumbling behind you about how you could have been actually late if you moved any slower. You stick your tongue at him before focusing back on the stage.
You’re singing along to the songs and screaming on top of your lungs, but your boyfriend is too quiet. Too quiet for someone who has been reminding you about the concert ever since your birthday. Too silent for someone who flew to Japan just to go to this concert. Right then, you finally connect the dots.
“Are you feeling sick? Do you want to go home?” You say close to his ear so he can hear you through the crowd. Cold hands but feeling hot? Restless but silent? Definitely ill.
“I’m alright,” he whispers back at you, smiling at your reassuringly. Nodding, you turn around to focus on the artist on the stage.
A familiar guitar play starts and you shout excitedly, facing your boyfriend. “It’s our favorite song!”
We were both young when I first saw you…
“I close my eyes and the flashback starts, I’m standing there,” you sing along passionately. Oikawa’s hand land on your hips and sways alongs with your hips.
“It’s a love story-”
“Baby just say yes!” Oikawa sings loudly and from his chest. You chuckle before singing again. The hands on your hips start to tremble but you’re too focused on the song you don’t notice. Oikawa’s throat is dry and it’s definitely not from singing.
While you sing along in excitement, Oikawa becomes more nervous as the song progresses. He shouldn’t mess this up. He has been planning these for months now. He practiced this way more than enough. One wrong move and his plan will surely fail.
We keep quiet cause we’re dead if they knew so close your eyes…
Oikawa looks at his left and sees his friends a few seats away from the two of you, giving him thumbs up and mouthing, ‘you can do it’and‘go for it’. He checks at you to see if you’ve noticed them, which you haven’t so you sigh in relief.
He stares at your enjoying figure, and gets a peek of your lovely smile and glimmering eyes. The way the lights hit you so perfectly makes his heart beat faster. That’s enough to reassure him that it’ll end well no matter how his plan goes.
I got tired of waiting. Wonderin’ if you were ever comin’ around. My faith in you was fading. When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said…
This is it. He has to do it now.
You on the other hand is still singing alone, unaware of your boyfriend’s wariness. “Romeo, save me, I’ve been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you, but you never come…”
Out of nowhere, he’s in front of you. Oh you surely can see him, but you’re not sure if you’re seeing him correctly. The one and only Oikawa Tooru is kneeling on one knee before you, a velvet box in hand, but you don’t even notice that because your eyes are glued on the shiny diamond ring.
Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think. He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring, and said…
warnings: swearing, suggestive content (17+), college drinking, college partying, breakdown
genre: fluff (?), angst, best friends, aged up characters
word count: ~2k words
a/n:hello friends!! enjoy this glimpse into what’s going on in my life through fanfiction bc writing is how i cope :) im glad to be writing for the first time in forever ! [btw, yes, this is about the boy i was talking about on here <3 ] pls reblog and enjoy xx
“hey… you shouldn’t sleep on the floor.”
you nudged his shoulder, hoping to wake him up. he let out a small groan, causing you to chuckle. the soft music echoed throughout your dorm room, only he was too tired to notice. you patted him again. instead of getting up, he moved closer to you and rested his head in your lap.
warnings: swearing, suggestive content (17+), college drinking, college partying, breakdown
genre: fluff (?), angst, best friends, aged up characters
word count: ~2k words
a/n:hello friends!! enjoy this glimpse into what’s going on in my life through fanfiction bc writing is how i cope :) im glad to be writing for the first time in forever ! [btw, yes, this is about the boy i was talking about on here <3 ] pls reblog and enjoy xx
“hey… you shouldn’t sleep on the floor.”
you nudged his shoulder, hoping to wake him up. he let out a small groan, causing you to chuckle. the soft music echoed throughout your dorm room, only he was too tired to notice. you patted him again. instead of getting up, he moved closer to you and rested his head in your lap.
warnings: swearing, suggestive content (17+), college drinking, college partying, breakdown
genre: fluff (?), angst, best friends, aged up characters
word count: ~2k words
a/n:hello friends!! enjoy this glimpse into what’s going on in my life through fanfiction bc writing is how i cope :) im glad to be writing for the first time in forever ! [btw, yes, this is about the boy i was talking about on here <3 ] pls reblog and enjoy xx
“hey… you shouldn’t sleep on the floor.”
you nudged his shoulder, hoping to wake him up. he let out a small groan, causing you to chuckle. the soft music echoed throughout your dorm room, only he was too tired to notice. you patted him again. instead of getting up, he moved closer to you and rested his head in your lap.
you didn’t expect to be spending your friday night like this. you didn’t think your friday night would lead to this. yet, it did.
it started out as every innocent weekend does. you were just looking to have a good time. one of your good friends, bokuto kotaro, always seemed to have something going on in his room, so you decided to go there.
however, you didn’t go alone.
you went with your best friend.
oikawa tooru.
you first went to his room. oikawa opened the door with a dashing smile as he always did and let you inside. he handed you a water bottle.
“i already made you your mix,” he said.
“what a good friend you are.”
“the best, i know.”
the two of you made your way to bokuto’s dorm, already feeling the affects of your drink. you could hear the music from down the hall.
“yooo! we got y/n and tooru here!” shouted kuroo, bokuto’s roommate. you laughed and joined in on the fun.
you liked these little dorm parties. they were harmless. just a group of friends getting together. however, every time you went to one of those dorm parties, there seemed to be something in the air.
“take a shot y/n!” insisted makki. you smiled, taking the small glass and downing it.
“that’s my girl!” said oikawa, causing your face to grow warm.
“hey now you gotta take one,” you teased. oikawa smirked, pouring himself a shot and taking it as if it were water.
as the night progressed and people began to reach their limits, you found yourself snuggled up on a bean bag with your best friend.
your best friend whom you’ve liked since the day you met him.
you stared up at the ceiling, watching the l.e.d lights above you blur onto one color. you looked over your shoulder at oikawa, who was on the brink of passing out. you patted his chest.
“don’t fall asleep.”
oikawa opened his eyes and chuckled.
“im wide awake.”
you could finally feel some clarity as the alcohol was wearing off. you looked around the darkened room as your friends held back each other’s hair and people were passed out on the futon. you looked at oikawa.
“we should go.”
you wobbled your way to the elevator, holding oikawa’s hand as you went in. he was practically begging for your attention. you clicked the button back to your floor, where he also lived.
you couldn’t just leave him like this. his roommate wouldn’t help him and you knew he’d be a wreck all alone. so, you led him to your room instead.
your roommate went home every weekend. you honestly liked having the room to yourself. it made situations like this easier.
and that led you to where you were now. sitting on your bedroom floor as he slept besides you. his soft breathing tickled your thighs. you ran your fingers through his brown hair, something you never thought would happen out of a platonic context. was all this platonic? you didn’t know. you soon would.
tooru shifted closer to you, nestling into your lap. you felt his hands snake under your shorts as he played with your underwear. you sighed.
the two of you laid there for hours it seemed. he was fast asleep while you pondered what was happening. he had to have known what he was doing.
suddenly, tooru got up and stretched out his arms. you looked at him with widened eyes. he yawned.
“your bed is probably way more comfortable than the floor.”
oikawa made his way to your bed, climbing up and getting under the covers as if he owned it. you took a deep breath and got into bed with him.
“hey,”you whispered. oikawa looked at you and gave you a tired smile.
“hey pretty girl.”
you felt your stomach clench at his words. why did he have to say that. you gulped.
“tooru i…i like you,” you whispered. oikawa sat up, placing his hand on your cheek.
“really?”
“yes really. i like you,” you admitted. oikawa leaned in a bit closer to you, making your heart flutter.
“okay.”
oikawa pulled you towards him into a kiss. you had been waiting for this moment, so what else were you to do but kiss him back. kiss him like your life depended on it. you kissed him and everything felt perfect. like this was how things were supposed to be.
you stared into his eyes. his eyes that seem to encapsulate every reason why you liked him so much. so much more than just as your best friend. you memorized every sound he made and how he made you feel. you memorized every word he said and how you believed them to be true. as you dug your nails into his soft skin, you couldn’t help but realize how beautiful he was. you wondered if he thought you were beautiful in this moment too.
you pulled the covers over your bare body and snuggled into his chest. as the two of you caught your breath and he turned off the lights, you thought what could happen next. what will come of this night? certainly you couldn’t stay best friends now. there was something there. there had to be something between you two, or so you hoped.
~
you asked to talk to him. he asked why. you said you just thought it was best to speak in person. he said okay.
you made your way to his room, just as you had a million times before. why was this time different?
“hey,” he said. you smiled, letting yourself in. you sat down on his couch, fiddling with the sleeves of your sweater.
“so what’s up?”
you took a deep breath.
“i just wanted to talk and see where your head is at since…um…these last two weeks have been kinda weird,” you explained. oikawa chuckled.
“i kinda figured that’s what you wanted to talk about.”
two weeks. this has been going on for two weeks. staying in his room, sending flirty texts, confessing how much you missed him when he would leave. and he played along. for two weeks.
“look, y/n, i like you and you’re one hundred percent my type,” he began, “but, im just not in the place for a relationship right now. i think we should just stay friends. but hey, if anything happens in the future that’s cool too.”
you nodded at every word he said, even though it went in one ear and out the other. once you finally realized what he had said, you felt your heart crack.
but you couldn’t let him know that.
“right. that’s for the best.”
oikawa smiled and patted you on the back.
“i knew you’d understand. wanna watch a movie?”
~
it was another friday night, except this time you were alone. you laid in your bed, alone. he was just down the hall. you could go and see him. you missed him, and he was only a couple hundred feet away. what you wanted was for him to just hold you. not platonically.
you got up from your bed and walked over to his room. it was normal for you to come over unannounced. you were best friends after all.
you gave his door your signature knock and waited for his response.
“oh hey,” he smiled.
“can i come in?”
“of course”
as the credits of the movies rolled, you couldn’t help but look over at tooru every few seconds just to check if he was looking at you too.
he was.
oikawa moved closer to you on the couch, wrapping his arm around you. you slowly made eye contact with him and as he shot you that look, you knew what was happening next.
his lips felt like a cloud, his kisses a dream. everytime you tried to back away, he drew you back in. he was always drawing you back in.
“w-wait-“ you insisted. oikawa gave you a confused look.
“everything okay?”
“tooru…i thought you wanted to be just friends.”
“i do.”
“then why are we doing this?”
oikawa scratched the back of his head, chuckling nervously.
“come on y/n…all this is just friendly.”
you felt your heart crack again.
“what?”
oikawa gave you a pat on the back.
“it’s just platonic.”
you stared at him for at least two minutes. blank expression. you got up from the couch and began to pace back and forth.
“uh y/n-“
“so you like me, but not enough to date me, and you think everything we’ve been doing has just been out of friendship?” you shouted. tooru’s face was now blank.
“look y/n-“
“you have been toying with me for weeks, tooru! and i let you! you know why?”
“w-why-“
“because im fucking in love with you! oh my god tooru im in love with you and you treat me like shit!” you screamed. your anger turned to sadness as you felt tears roll down your cheek. oikawa got up and stood in front of you.
“y/n you have to know i never meant to hurt you. i just wasn’t thinking and i didn’t expect this to happen the way it did…like i didn’t even know you liked me-“
“how! how did you not know? i even told you!”
“well i didn’t think you were so serious…”
you looked into those dark brown eyes, something you used to love to do. now, you looked into his eyes and saw yourself. a crying mess in front of him.
“why don’t you love me?” you pleaded. oikawa sighed.
“you know i care about you y/n. you’re my best friend and i can’t lose you. but i just can’t give you what you want. i’m sorry.”
your heart finally broke.
he wasn’t sorry. you didn’t believe him. you wanted him to lie. fake being in love with you because you were so in love with him. so in love it drove you insane.
“im gonna go.”
“y/n don’t go-“
“tooru, i need a minute. please.”
oikawa grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him. your red eyes stared him down.
“come in y/n. you’re my best friend. you can’t be mad at me, right?”
you trembled in his grasp. you couldn’t stop crying. you felt like a fool.
“no, i can’t. unfortunately im too in love with you to hate you.”
you broke away from tooru and walked out the door.
~
it was excruciating.
the pain.
you didn’t even date him. why on earth did it hurt so bad? it was so much worse than anything you had felt before.
you gripped into your pillow, sobbing until the fabric would change color. before, when you were sad, you would go to tooru. now, he was the reason why you were sad. so you had no where to go. you couldn’t avoid him. after all, he lived just a few doors down and he still technically was your best friend. you had no choice but to fake it. fake that you were fine when he asked to study or grab lunch. fake this feeling of happiness to mask your heartbreak. all for him.
everything that happened was meaningless.
it was meaningless in the way you wanted it to be. it meant everything to you and nothing to him.
warnings: cheating (everyone’s cheating in this frat house tonight), drugging (reader thought she was doing coke, actually percs), drug mentions: coke, weed, percs, non-con, gas-lighting, manipulation, iwai and oiks are shitty frat boys what can i say
wc: 1.9k
a/n: my piece for the intoxicated collab hosted by the whore house <3 you can check it out here! i have never written for this pretty rat bastard but I kinda like this version of oikawa that now lives in my brain. he’s a shitty bastard but meh. this is very, very, very, v e r y loosely based on a real experience i had with percs ( i don’t condone the use of percs !! ). also, do not mix drugs if you are doing them, especially percs with alcohol!
you know you’re fucked as the last of the pretty white line vanishes through the end of a cut-up straw and into your nose. that too pretty smile tooru’s wearing almost looks sinister as the feeling of prickles dances across your brain and the feeling of slight numbness snakes up your appendages. it’s cemented further when drowsiness sinks in.
worst of all, you know you’ve lost when tooru’s featherlight touch across your bottom lip has you sucking his thumb like your boyfriend isn’t somewhere else in the same house
leading up to the frat party, you were excited ! time spent with your roommate was always fun, your partner in crime for getting wasted silly before proceeding to call your boyfriends to be picked up and continue the fun from there.
their frat’s parties are always choice, thematic some days and just a reason to drink and make poor choices others. your poison of choice always being egging hajime on throughout the night to be fucked dumb when he’s pushed beyond his limit– the perfect fun for you.
but there’s always tooru.
it’s been too many times to count where you think you’ve finally got hajime right where you need him and then tooru’s there to effectively whisk hajime away– always with a snide reminder that you’re there with your roommate, his girlfriend so ‘why don’t you go find her, she’ll get lonely!’
ironic, considering that if she and you were up to trouble together he’d badger you over being negligent of hajime.
regardless, you fully entitled to enjoy yourself tonight– tooru be damned.
before you could fester longer on the leech that was tooru, your roommate poses a comment about the outfits planned for tonight. it’s enough to steal away your attention, and you find yourselves trying and tossing off clothes interspersed with chatter and gossip of all manner. by the end of it, you look downright sinful– dressed in a silky feeling black bodycon with lace trim.
the intention is to rile hajime up, get him irritated having to be watchful over you to keep his sleazy frat brothers away. except for tooru, he’s always the exception. he couldn’t let any of his other brothers be the exception? you’d take temperamental kyotani over tooru any day. it’s only a minorbonus kyotani is nice to look at.
by the time your roommate is ushering you to the uber you’re quite tipsy, still aware of yourself but relaxed enough to giggle along to the lame jokes your uber throws over his shoulder at you two. idly, you think he’s kinda cute.
the party is in full swing by the time your uber pulls up, people idling out on the lawn in stark contrast to the blaring music coming from the house itself. hajime and tooru are waiting outside for the both of you as you exit the uber. giving the uber a sweet smile before closing the door.
you try to ignore the lingering look tooru fixates you with as you make your way to the boys.
“ tooooruuuu~” your roommate all but throws herself into her boyfriend, giggly and happy to see him. he returns the embrace, peppering her cheery face in kisses before returning her greeting “hi princess, you look ravishing as usual.”
you fight to keep the cringe of your face at the nickname, opting to ignore their sugary-sweet pda in favor of hajime. you link your arms behind his neck before blinking up at him, pressing a chaste kiss to his chin before grinning cheekily “ hi bubs, missed you today”. his own hands settle on your hips, rubbing softly at the material of your dress before smiling down at you. he mumbles his own greeting before pressing a kiss to your temple, beginning to drag you inside.
you don’t miss the familiar stare of someone staring down your neck.
all too quickly, between games of cup pong, kings cup, and random shots; your separated from hajime and squished between hanamaki and matsukawa on a ratty couch in the garage with an odd group of people. you’re vaguely aware of matsukawa’s arm thrown over your shoulders.
you don’t try to move it.
you’re half engaged in the conversation going on, between being drunk and swimming in the heady smell of weed, you’re just kinda sitting there zoning in and out. there’s a sizable bong being passed around, and despite only having met them a handful of times prior, hanamaki and matsukawa seem to know better than to offer you a hit– at least that’s what you tell yourself. across from you, there’s a blond girl cutting lines of coke on a handheld mirror, looking up briefly with a raised eyebrow in question. you’ve met her prior, you’ve literally done lines with her, but her name is escaping you.
you feel stupid.
you’re about to nod along when matsukawa’s arm is thrown off you, two hands coming down on your shoulders in a bruising grip. you wince when you meet tooru’s chocolate eyes.
he looks kinda pissed.
“y/n ! I’ve been looking alllll over for you !” his voice is as princely as ever, but the sneer on his face and the barely there anger under his tone pisses you off. you decide to push him before he starts pushing you.
“where’s 'princess’ at? can’t believe you left my poor roommate all alone in this house” you tsk and pout, shaking your head. tooru’s face momentarily sours before he’s looping around the couch and dragging you to your feet, pulling you to the door without a word. you glance back briefly at hanamaki and matsukawa, but they look just as put off as you.
weird.
you follow, not sure if it’s curiosity or just being drunk for you simpered obedience. you’re led past hajime’s room where you hear noise– notably hajime and someone else but you can’t think too hard about it with tooru’s tightening grip on your wrist. this would be nice if it were hajime pulling you along. you stop in front of a door at the very end of the hall.
it’s tooru’s room.
volleyball trophies and keepsakes line the shelves, along with other commemorative keepsakes. a picture of him and your roommate, him and hajime, a group picture of the four of you as well. you’re about the prod for answers when he beats you to it.
“don’t worry about my 'princess’, she with hajime right now!” he sneers down at you, loving the confusion that crosses your pretty little face before continuing “i figured i’d come check in on you since hajime seems to be doing a shit job of it.” you’re only partially surprised by the drop from his usual cheerful speech and vocabulary, but to hear him come at hajime unabashedly is strange.
it’s actually really fucking weird all things considered.
“what do you mean by that? why’s he with her…” and not me? the sentence practically finishes itself and tooru’s sneer grows as your mind begins to tumble over itself. “ you know, maybe he just can’t handle you anymore? he’s always bitching to me about you” tooru sighs, hand raised to his chin thoughtfully. something in your chest aches at the thought, mind nowhere near sober enough to see past tooru winding you up.
“you know, I tried arguing with hajime about it on your behalf. sure you’re needy as hell and a borderline nympho but you’re soooo cute! if i wasn’t dating my princess, I wouldn’t hesitate to steal you away~” it comes out teasingly, but his words are downright awful. you’re not needy…right? sure you like sex, but hajime never complained about it.
you kinda feel like shit.
turning on your heels, you make for the door before tooru latches onto your wrist again. that same bruising grip back again, you whirl on him ready to lay into him before he shakes an orange pill bottle in your face. eyes narrowed, you glare up at him. what the hell is he up too?
“to make it up to you for bumming your night and causing you to miss out saeko’s cheap shit, why don’t we have a little pick me up?” his sneer is gone now, simmered down to what could be a genuine smile. you weigh your options, dull red flashing lights go off in your mind but safety be damned– you need a pick me up. “fine, fine. i’d rather get something from you than just anybody.” tooru looks a little surprised at your admittance, but you plop yourself on his bed before you can stare up at his pretty face any longer. he turns his back to you in favor of his desk, clearing space and procuring his debit card and a dollar bill before popping the lid on the pills and grabbing one.
you don’t watch him crush the pill, and that’s your fatal mistake.
all too soon, zoned out staring around the room while lost in your pitiful thoughts, tooru calls you over. “you’re a big girl, I’m sure you know how to snort it” his voice is teasing, but you fail to notice just how focused he looks staring down at you. you grab a cut straw, no longer than two inches, and line one end to your nose and the other to the white line.
it feels wrong.
you know you’re fucked as the last of the pretty white line vanishes through the end of a cut-up straw and into your nose. that too pretty smile tooru’s wearing almost looks sinister as the feeling of prickles dances across your brain and the feeling of slight numbness snakes up your appendages. it’s cemented further when drowsiness sinks in.
worst of all, you know you’ve lost when tooru’s featherlight touch across your bottom lip has you sucking his thumb like your boyfriend isn’t somewhere else in the same house.
god this so wrong, but the way tooru ushers you backwards until the back of your knees meet his bed, and you fall on your back feels nice. everything feels nice, his thumb in your mouth, his comforter on your back. the way he’s staring down at you, laser-focused on just you… it’s verynice.
but incredibly wrong.
hajime is in a room nearby, the fact eats at you.
tooru withdraws his hand from your face, thumb briefly pressing along your plush lips before crawling over you. he buries his head in your neck, nibbling and sucking along the length of it like a starved dog. you whimper, it’s wrong but why does it feel so good? a particularly nasty bite forces a moan from your mouth, mind spinning at the pleasure despite the numbness.
you’re terrible for getting off on this, you’re a terrible girlfriend. tooru, evidently, is a terrible boyfriend. he drugged you but who’s gonna believe you? you did agree to do it, you didn’t ask what it was. your thoughts are spiraling.
tooru’s hand leaves a blazing trail up your thigh, sliding up underneath your little dress and squeezing your upper thigh. you don’t like this. weakly, you grab onto tooru’s wrist in an attempt to halt his movements. he shakes it off, kissing along your jaw before mumbling to what you assume is more-so to himself than you.
“knew i was gonna fuck you when you strolled up in this, hajime’s really missing out tonight”
A/N:this is for my darling @sillykawa !! Once again congratulations on joining the oldies club! dentures clicking in the background as part of the welcome music❤️ JKS JKS but I hope that you had a wonderful day and lots of hugs and love to one of the sweetest person I know
The announcement for the flight came all too soon.
Oikawa simply sat there in silence, twirling the ends of your hair with his fingers, as if it didn’t concern him. Outside the window of the private lounge, the airplanes slowly rolled away towards the runways.
You lifted your head, which was resting on his shoulder, up to look up at him when you realised he didn’t move. “It’s nearly time.” Your voice was barely above a murmur; perhaps if you said it quietly enough, it wouldn’t be true.
Oikawa closed his eyes in answer. He shifted to wrap his arms around your waist, then buried his face in the crook of your neck. “Don’t wanna,” he mumbled. Already his heart ached at the thought of not being able to be by your side for the next few months. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that he felt a part of him was missing during the days he couldn’t see you.
“You’ll be late.” Contrary to your words, your tone didn’t carry any of the conviction you tried to convey.
Still he didn’t move. For Oikawa, every time it became harder to part. Last time his manager had to drag him off you and haul him onto the plane.
“Tooru,” you gently poked at his puffed cheeks, knowing his coach would be yelling down the phone at him if he arrived late. “I’ll call you every day,” you tried to appease him.
Finally, knowing he could no longer prolong the inevitable, his arms relaxed. “It’s not the same,” he said, the corner of his mouth pulled downwards, “I wouldn’t be able to touch you.” As if to prove his point, he pulled you closer again, his lips pressed against your temples.
“I’m sorry,” he said when he pulled back. He was frowning.
“For what?” You asked him in confusion.
“This.” The sunlight danced off his brown eyes as he gazed at you. He reached out and tucked a lock of your hair behind your ears. His fingertips lingered by your cheek. “You know, the face you make every time we have to part, I’m sorry that I’m always making you feel this way.” His gaze fell, and his face twisted into a slight grimace.
“Tooru.” He looked up when you called his name. The sight of the smile you gave him made his breath hitch. “Please don’t ever apologise for chasing after your dream. After all the hard work you put in, you finally got the recognition you deserve. And I couldn’t be happier for you. I will always be here waiting for you to come back.”
Oikawa felt his lips tremble. “You… really are too good for me,” he smiled wryly, and leaned his forehead against yours. Neither of you said anything, but your gazes conveyed a thousand thoughts. He really did feel like he used up an entire life’s worth of luck just to meet you. And for you to love him back was a miracle that he sometimes still found hard to believe was true.
The announcement sounded again, as if knowing Oikawa was still sitting here. “I’ll get the first flight home the moment I’m done,” he promised as he stood up and grabbed his bag. Then he suddenly seemed to remember something, and dug around in his pockets. He pulled his hand out. Dangling between his fingers was a bundle of yarn attached below a keychain.
“It’s uh,” he cleared his throat as he handed it to you. “For you.”
You looked at the soft bundle sitting on your palms. From the looks of it, it seemed to be a crochet of something you couldn’t quite identify because of how misshapen it was.
“You made it?” You asked in surprise.
“Yeah,” he turned away to fiddle with the bag strap so you couldn’t see the hint of pink gracing his cheeks. “It’s supposed to be a fluffy milk bread. I know you like crocheting so I tried to make something for you to keep you company while I’m away.”
Seeing the delighted expression on your face, all the effort, the struggle, and the last few all nighters he pulled to finish it off was worth it. “How about I teach you when you come home?”
Oikawa’s smile lit up on his face. “Then it’s a promise.” A promise of being able to spend more time together, doing what you love. He leaned down and lightly pressed his lips on yours. When he pulled back, he was smiling tenderly at you. “Put my whole heart in there, look after it for me.”
description: you know oikawa is capable of so much more than he believes. which is why you’ve stuck by him to watch as he realizes the same thing.
a/n: consider this my comeback post from hiatus. inspired by the 2001 movie “a knights tale” with the amazing heath ledger
“can a man really change his stars?”
you had first heard oikawa pose this question as a ten year old, a front tooth missing and a look of awe on his face. you two had snuck out of your respective houses once again, scrambling onto the roof of the oikawa household to once again stare up at the stars. of course, this question was prompted after watching his favorite action movie for the nth time today. you were a bit surprised he remembered that one specific line, considering the fact that he was notoriously known for zoning out when watching movies.
in true oikawa fashion, he sat up to look down at you with a questioning gaze. and in true fashion of his best friend, you answered with as much honesty as you could.
“how am i supposed to know, i’m nine!” you both dissolved into peals of laughter, you laughing even harder upon hearing oikawa snort after a solid ten minutes. by the time you two had finished laughing, oikawa’s mom had come out, frowning and whisper-yelling at the two of you to get down from the roof. that night, she let you stay the night, smiling to herself as she tucked the blanket around the two of you in oikawa’s bed, fingers intertwined and soft snores permeating the silence.
~~~
seeing oikawa cry when you were kids had been a normal occurrence. he had a low tolerance for pain, and he always requested for either you or iwaizumi to comfort him. iwaizumi had been good at deflecting his cries with a sarcastic remark, but you were always falling victim to his watery eyes and childlike pouts. he almost always stopped crying once you gave him a big hug and a forehead kiss. such a baby he was.
as he got older, those situations happened less and less, until they stopped all together. the next time you’d seen him cry, after four years of not crying all together, was the day he lost his final chance to get to nationals.
“how bad is it?” you and iwaizumi were speed walking to the gym after he had practically dragged you from your house to gather oikawa.
“last time i saw him this bad was that time his t-shirt had torn on that bush,” he grumbles, running a hand through his hair. you nodded, stopping short at the closed door of the gym and grabbing iwaizumi’s sleeve.
“how are you doing?” you gaze at him, taking in the pained look on his face.
“it sucks but i’ll love. i’m more worried about ‘kawa,” he sighs out. you nod, giving him a quick hug before pushing the door open to gape in horror at the sight before you. oikawa sat against the back wall, volleyballs strewn about the gym, and his knees red and bleeding. before you run over to him, you grab the first aid kit off the wall, sprinting back to him. as you trip over yourself, you notice how he hasn’t looked down from his sight set on the ceiling.
“tooru,” you murmur, kneeling in front of him and getting to work on his knees. he hums noncommittally, arm over his eyes.
“what happened to your knees?” you try to keep your voice quiet as you wipe the blood off before disinfection the cuts. he doesn’t even flinch.
“practiced some digs by myself. the pads got in the way,” he trails off. you say nothing as you wrap gauze and tape around his cuts before finally looking directly at him. you gently pry his arm away from his face, and he drops his head to look at you. the look of agony and tiredness in his eyes is heartbreaking, but it’s not as bad as the steady stream of tears wetting his cheeks.
“oh tooru,” you breath out, tugging his arms forward until they’re wrapped around you, your own arms reaching forward to encircle his waist. you tuck his head in the crook of your neck, letting a hand play with the hairs at the back of his neck. once your fingers thread through his chocolate brown hair, you feel him shake violently against you, sobs muffled against your skin. his arms are like a vice around you, holding your body so close to his you’re essentially sitting in his lap at this point. not that it matters though. all you can focus on is calming him down.
“i tried, i tried so hard, and not only did i let myself down, but i let my team down too,” he sobs out, tucking his head closer to you.
“tooru, you and i both know you could never let the team down. they are all fantastic players, and they’ve become fantastic players thanks to your being captain. and i’m sure if you asked them all, they would 100% agree with me!” you gently set his back against the wall, leaning away so you can look into his eyes. you let your hands cup his cheeks, wiping away the tears.
“i promise you, highschool volleyball is not the end for you. i know that there are even bigger things in store for you in the future. you have yet to change your stars, and i know you’re more than capable of doing so. don’t let this weigh you down, when i know you are meant for more than this,” you finish, bringing his head close to you. you move a hand up, pushing his bangs up and out of the way before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. you freeze when you feel him kiss your collarbone at the same time.
“thank you,” he whispers. you nod against him, letting him wrap his arms around you once more. you stay that way, pressed against each other until he speaks once more, voice carrying through the empty gym.
“i’ll change my stars, and when i do, you’ll be right there next to me.”
~~~
“and the winner of tokyo’s 2020 olympic volleyball tournament is argentina!”
the stadium erupts in pandemonium. you can barely hear yourself thinking as cheers fill the arena, and your smile is so wide you feel like your muscles are burning. makki and mattsun are screaming right next to you, your seats just shy of the sidelines, as you watch oikawa get swarmed by his teammates, a pure and genuine smile plastered across his face.
“that’s our boy!” makki and mattsun yell in sync, throwing arms around you and each other and yelling incoherent cheers in an attempt to get oikawa to hear you guys. you can only stare at how radiant and beautiful he looks as an olympic committee member places the golden medal around his neck, offering him the microphone to make his winning speech as captain.
“thank you, everyone, for your unwavering support!” you’re glad you started spanish lessons as soon as you heard about his move. “i could not be more proud of these boys that have been my team, as they have been like family to me!” he pauses from looking out at his team, before turning his gaze towards you. your heart stops when you two make eye contact, and his smile only grows wider. “someone once told me that they knew that i was more than capable of changing my future, even if i thought my career had ended with highschool volleyball.” you’re eyes are welling up now, hand coming to clutch the star pendant that laid across your chest. “they told me that i had yet to change my stars. today, i have changed my stars. i would like to dedicate this win to the person i hold closest to my heart, for teaching me what it meant to look past the sky, to the stars that adorned our universe. i’d like to ask that they join me here on stage, as a token of what this win truly means to me.”
your ears are ringing, heart pounding as makki and mattsun scream wildly, helping you up and over the barrier of the stands and pushing you roughly towards oikawa. you move in a trance, walking slowly before jogging, running, then sprinting towards him until you’re on stage, your arms around his neck and his lips pressed against yours. you can hear the roar of the crowd behind you, but it falls away as oikawa leans back, resting his forehead against yours.
“you’re so cheesy, you know that?” you both laugh, letting him kiss your nose lightly.
“i couldn’t help myself. i’ll show you off like the star you are until the day i die, my love,” he proclaims, brown eyes twinkling brightly. the only thing you can do is kiss him again, allowing yourself to fall into the familiar comfort of his arms once again.
A/N: Some New Years Fluff~ Please note, this an old fic of mine (slightly edited) that I’m reposting on tumblr. Thanks! Wishing everyone well for the new year xx Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated
It was a crisp winter’s night in Tokyo. The street was filled with joy and laughter of people gathered for the countdown to New Years. The loud popping sound of small fireworks and sparklers were set off mixed with children’s squeals of excitement added to the warm atmosphere created. New Years was something many, if not all people looked forward to. The beginning of a new adventure or a chance to wipe the slate clean. The coming of a new year also meant the accomplishment of surviving the last. Hope.
Two hours later, the once lively street was empty. It’s residents residing in the comfort of their homes tucked under warm sheets. All except two. The pair sat atop one of roofs wrapped up in a thick blanket sipping hot chocolate. The clear night sky was velvety black decorated with the millions of twinkling stars that dazzled like diamonds. It was one of those breathtaking sights that were etched into ones memory that no camera could capture. The light breeze that blew by, the twining stars and the person who you shared the moment with.
“Look, Tooru!” y/n pointed towards the three stars that were closely aligned. “There’s Orion’s Belt.”
“Ehhhh. Is that the only constellation you know, y/n-chan?” Tooru mumbled, mocking disappointment.
“ After all of those astrology sessions with me I thought you’d know mo- Ouch!”
The brunette was cut off by hot chocolate burning his tongue. Y/n laughed lightly at Tooru’s pouty face, watching as he mumbled incoherently about his poor tongue and how it was the hot chocolate’s fault.
"Shut up, it’s my favorite one. And Idopay attention. ” Y/n scoffed, playfully pulling the setters nose, grinning at his protests.
A short exchange of Tooru’s pleading cries and y/n’s laughs soon died down after Tooru’s successful puppy dog face had won them over as it did many times before. He acted like such a kid sometimes, but that was one of his endearing qualities. From their play fights to simply lazing around in each other’s arms, those were the moments that y/n treasured the most.
Y/ns eyes softened watching Tooru rubbing his nose as he rambled about it being red like Rudolph or something, she assumed, not fully paying attention, lost in her thoughts in admiring the person before her. The way his nose scrunched up was one of the cutest things. And when he’d sing her name or the way his eyes lit up, bright specks that rivaled the stars above whenever he’d catch her gaze, just as he did now. A cheeky smile graced Tooru’s lips as he caught her staring. Leaning in, one hand tilting her head slightly, his lips pressed to hers moulding perfectly into a sweet kiss. Pulling back, Tooru lightly bumped his nose against y/n’s, humming happily as she reciprocated, teasingly rubbing her nose against before pulling away as a soft laugh left her lips.
“They’re so beautiful.” Tooru breathed out, glancing up at the night sky. It was clear tonight. The black velvet above was graced by the stars that danced in celebration.Tthe perfect backdrop to the falling snow.
Y/n mirrored his actions, humming in agreement as she snuggled closer, resting her against his chest encased in his arms.
Tooru’s eyes flickered to y/n. “You know what else is beautiful?” Taking her silence as his queue, he paused for dramatic effect, building up the tension before he replied; "Me~“
A blanket of silence fell over the pair as y/n registered his reply. An exasperated sigh left y/n’s lips; "Really Tooru? really?” She mumbled, burying herself deeper into his chest taking in his vanilla scent. A short laugh escaped her lips as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Going into the new year with someone who would always there for you is a blessing in itself.
a/n!LMAO UM HI EVERYONE ITS BEEN A WHILE but i hope u guys are having the bestest day or night HDHFJFJ- I LOVE U ALL ENJOY THIS LITTLE SNIP OF OUR BELOVED BOYS!! also i just finished the good place and i watched the whole thing in a week. ALSO! im starting twenty five twenty one (ep 3!!) rn so anyone who wants to talk abt either of those hmu
[4:44 PM] the thing about you and him is that you’re two fortresses waiting for the other to crumble first.
after being closed in the sun, it takes a while for your eyes to adjust to being open.
“tooru, what’re we doing?”
the brunet laying beside you turns his head and grins. instinctively, your brows quirk.
“what d’you think?”
you open your mouth, ready to reply with something witty. you don’t have anything particular in mind, but you know that it has to be witty.
“no, wait,” oikawa tooru says, moving so that he’s now facing you entirely, resting on his side with his head propped on his hand. “really think about it.”
heat spreads over your cheeks as you take in his new position, how he’s just slightly hovering over your lying figure now, his chestnut eyes fixed steadily on yours. the air between your bodies grows scarce and your chest tightens ever-so-slightly in response.
this is vulnerability.
more questions spring to mind – what happens next? where are we going with this? are your pupils dilating or is that just pseudoscience? can he even see them?
you turn your gaze away and look up, sinking into the blue sky like an anchor. knowing that oikawa still has his eyes on your face, you slide an easy smile over your lips. “i think we’re lying in a grassy meadow in the middle of nowhere–”
oikawa flicks your forehead. “no, you idiot.” he falls flat back on the grass again, folding his arms behind his head. the tension in your chest subsides. “that’s not what i meant.”
“what’d you mean, then?” you wait for him to answer as you run your palms over the soft grass, feeling each blade tickle and poke your flesh as if to say hello. cicadas in the distant oak trees fill in oikawa’s silence with their little songs about summer. the out-of-view gurgling stream, which you had tuned out earlier, lets out a small splash. “hey, did’ya hear th–”
“shhhh.” oikawa laughs and it’s light and boyish as always, except it feels far away, like the rest of him isn’t here in the meadow. something’s changed and you can’t put your finger on it. so you get up and sit with your legs crossed beneath you, determined to get some answers.
“say, you’ve been acting pretty weird today, tooru. everything okay?” under your eyes, the brunet furrows his brows, crinkling his pretty features with amused confusion. still, he says nothing, only continues to hold your gaze. you can’t tell if he’s thinking or waiting.
waiting for what?
“define ‘weird,’” he finally says, sitting up and breaking the trance he’d put over the two of you. he mirrors you and crosses his legs, positioning them so that his knees rest against yours.
“well, you asked if i wanted to hang out and, when i said yes, you drove us to this meadow.”
“i did.”
“and then you lied down on the grass and told me to do the same.”
“yep.”
“and we just laid in silence for, like, ten minutes.”
oikawa chuckles. “that is pretty weird.” and then, he lies back down on the grass and closes his eyes. “but you said you were stressed earlier this morning. isn’t this relaxing?”
things fall into place. suddenly, you feel warm all over. “in a way, i guess.” without waiting for him to pat the grass beside him, you, too, lay back down. “is that what we’re doing? relaxing?”
[5:3666 AM] only a sliver of the sun has peeked over the horizon when his phone rings – and unwelcomedly, as most phone calls are at this time.
oikawa tooru yelps and falls out of bed, cursing the caller’s name without a glance at the phone. “hello?” he grumbles, picking up.
“i couldn’t sleep.”
that tone. he can’t hang up now. sitting on the floor against his bed, the brunet waits, familiar enough with the punctuation of your speech to know that there’s more to come.
“i’m so tired but i can’t fall asleep.”
a blue smile finds its way onto oikawa’s face. been there, done that. “what’s wrong?” still there (but only sometimes).
“i’m afraid i don’t like myself very much right now,” you laugh, though there’s no humor to your tone. truth be told, you sound three syllables away from crying.
“is that all?”
a sigh travels through the receiver. “i can’t even describe how everything’s gone to hell inside me.”
and naturally, he tells you to try, and naturally, you do; and when you’re finished it’s no longer 5:3666 but 5:55, and you tell oikawa that that’s an angel number and he laughs and asks what that means; and you say that means change is coming, and he says he hopes it does because god knows you need it.
“i do. i really do.”
oikawa chuckles. “yeah. i do, too.”
a pause. from both your ends.
“say,” you start, “you never offered me any advice for my troubles, tooru.”
he hums and lets his gaze wander over to the window, ignoring how you’ve just called him by his first name. the sun is now an orange dome in the pink and blue sky, and the streets below have been washed amber. today might be a good day.
oikawa murmurs, mostly to you but just a little for himself, “look out your window. the sun’s rising.”
Or at least, you both refuse to believe that what you were usually doing together were things that were typically done by people dating or in a relationship.
Summary: Trapped in the university library due to a raging blizzard outside, you are forced to endure the cold night with the man you hate the most: the player who lives in the dorm across from you, Tooru Oikawa. But with tensions and anxieties at an all-time high, you begin to realize your feelings for Oikawa aren’t quite what you thought they were, especially when all he wants to do is keep you warm.
A/N: I took like six hours to write this??? Bruh callin’ amateur hour in this bitch eh, whatever, enjoy!
Word count: 5345
Snow, layers upon layers, piled up outside of the library. The glass doors of the library had long frosted over, and inside the lights began to flicker. Outside every window was a blanket of white, everything in the distance far too foggy to see through the flurry of flakes.
The lone television suspended above the library’s main desk played the same succession of videos–static with white noise, a scrolling of text warning people to stay inside, three loud buzzes, then more static with white noise. It far overpowered the sound of the library’s heater kicking on, its automatic settings desperately trying to battle the cold that succeeded in invading the closed and locked library.
You sighed, sparing another glance at the exit and the wall of snow that kept rising against it. Minutes ago you’d tried pushing open the doors, only succeeding in chilling the tips of your fingers against the frozen metal. Ever since then, your fingers never truly seemed to recover.
Just your luck; first a small windstorm had delayed your flight back home for Christmas Break, and now, just when you’d given up and decided to work on a few research projects while being stuck at the university, you were trapped inside the library.
But you weren’t alone. No, of course not. As if fate had it out for you, you were stuck inside the building with the one guy you despised with your whole being.
“Gum?”
Oikawa held out a piece, a small smirk dancing on the edge of his lips. When all he received in response was a blank stare, he shrugged and unwrapped it, tossing it in his mouth before toying with the wrapper.
The both of you sat behind the librarian’s desk in tall, wooden stools. It was the only place with service, and it was where you had both scurried to the second the storm warning chimed through the announcement speakers.
While you had attempted to push through the doors, Oikawa had called the school’s main office, warning them of your predicament. Of course, he’d cut himself off halfway through with a cackle at the sight of the door slamming back in your face, but nonetheless he’d gotten a simple, if completely undesirable response.
“The both of you need to stay in there and not leave. It’s far too dangerous to go out into the blizzard right now. Tomorrow morning it should be calmed down, and then we’ll send people over to get you. For now, try to stay warm.”
When he relayed this message to you, you had him put them on speaker so you could hear it with your own two ears.
Pop.
Alas, it was the truth. You were stuck.
Pop.
With your worst enemy. Alone.
Pop.
During a blizzard.
“Will you stop doing that?” you hissed, heaving a glare at him.
Oikawa froze in his seat, a gum-bubble the size of a golf ball slowly deflating with a wheeze. He raised his hands in surrender. “Excuse me for trying to find some source of joy in this miserable place. Maybe you should try having fun once in a while, YN.”
Your cheeks burned in shame at that. “I have fun!”
A single brown brow rose. “Do you?”
“Yes,” you folded your arms across your chest, “I do. But unlike you, I don’t do it at the expense of other people’s sanity.”
Long ago, amidst your third week of your first year at the university, you learned that you and Oikawa were two vastly different people. In co-ed dorms, he lived just across from you, and it seemed he reminded you of that every other night.
While loud music boomed across the hall and eventually spread throughout the building, you sat inside your dorms, hands over the headphones over your ears. You were usually leant over a textbook, pencil and notes abandoned long ago as you tried to comprehend the words despite not being able to hear your own thoughts.
Your roommate would slip out to join the fun, meeting and laughing with someone who had knocked on your door. Then that someone had tapped a single finger on your shoulder, squatting down beside your desk and leaning his head to one side.
As usual, a teasing smile danced on his lips. “You gonna join us, or sit here studying like a Debbie Downer?”
You’d be the first–and most certainly not the last–to admit that he was attractive. Brown hair exploding in tufts and swept across his forehead. Bronze eyes twinkling in the light of your lamp. Thin, pink lips pulled into a goading grin.
“Come on, I promise the water’s warm.”
It was at that moment that you started to hate him.
“Get out of my room.”
The smugness blanketing his face had dropped for a split second, and you genuinely wondered if you were the first to ever resist his charms. But how could you not, when in every second of your interaction with him, it felt like he was laughing at you?
Hesitantly, it seemed, he rose to his feet, stumbling a bit. You shouldn’t have been surprised that he was already drunk, but you hadn’t smelled it earlier when he was inches from your face.
“All right,” he chuckled, rising to his full height with his hands on his knees. Swiftly, he turned and made his way to your door, not bothering to look back at you again. “I know when I’m not wanted. Enjoy your studying, YN.”
How he’d learned your name, you never really. You’d figured he caught it on the first day of the one class you shared with him, English, amidst mandatory introductions. Since then, every time your name fell on his lips, he more sang it than said it, always in that sly tone of his.
You hated it. You hated him.
And now, as you spent the third day of Christmas Break locked inside alone with him in a freezing library, you found yourself despising him even more.
Pop.
“Well, YN, you should know better than anyone that I have a knack for driving people insane,” Oikawa hummed, long fingers folding the edges of his gum wrapper against the desk surface. Your eyes drawn to the action, you absentmindedly scoffed.
“Yes, I certainly do.”
His eyes darted to yours, an emotion flitting across them before dropping back down to his miniature origami. A chill ran up your spine.
“I’m going to go look for some blankets,” you sputtered out of the blue. You found yourself reflecting his shocked look, a little surprised at yourself at the outburst.
“Okay,” he grinned after a pause. “Hurry back soon.”
Ignoring the wink he offered you, you slipped out of your chair and left him alone behind the desk counter, effectively beginning your search for stray, abandoned coverings.
Instantly, you realized the rest of the library was significantly chillier than the desk up front. Though the heater was still pumping and hissing through the air vents above you, it was now rattling much more forcefully than before.
Must be the snow piling on top of the electrical system or something.
The fluorescent lights buzzed above you, still cutting off and flickering every few seconds as you passed bookshelf after labeled bookshelf. Signs labeled with genres and areas of study swung from the ceiling over rows of different-colored bindings. So distracted, you let out a yelp of pain after stubbing your toe against an abandoned book cart, plenty of go-backs filed one after the other in no discernible order.
“YN?” Far off, Oikawa’s voice called after you. Despite the distance you’d created between the two of you, he still must have heard your pained shout. A small part of you was surprised he bothered to acknowledge the noise at all.
Maybe he’s not a complete pain in the ass.
“Yeah, that was me, I’m fine! Just hit my foot on something!”
“Do you need help finding your way around? I’m sorry, I forgot my walking rope, so we’ll have to hold hands!”
Nevermind, still a dick.
“Fuck you!”
“That’s why I’m here!”
Rolling your eyes, you purse your lips to prevent giving in to his teasing further. With a few hissed curses under your breath, you continue venturing through the uninhabited building. Though you did find a few abandoned belongings, none of which were of much use. A few too small hoodies, one suspicious pair of sweatpants, and some stray sunglasses. One poor soul even forgot their backpack at one of the work tables, and despite your initial curiosity, you refrained from digging through it and instead left it where it was.
It was when you arrived at the individual work areas divided by wooden partitions that your search finally paid off. Because it was arranged against a line of floor-to-ceiling windows, it was significantly colder in this work area than any other place you’d come across. Luckily, that also meant there was a higher chance of you finding spare blankets–which you did.
One was still strewn across the back of a work chair, a black fur throw with no designs but a single tear at one corner, presumably where a tag had been. Another, this one cream-colored, knitted wool, sat in a crumpled pile on the very last desk of the entire area, arranged in the furthest corner of the library from the entrance. The bulb in the ceiling above this desk had been out ever since the first time you’d been in the library, so you weren’t surprised to figure that people crammed out naps between studying in this dark little corner.
While gathering the two–scratch that, there was another on the ground next to you–three blankets in your arms, you spared a look outside the windows. Frost and a glaze of ice covered each corner where metal met glass, and, because you were on the first floor, you could see how high the snow had piled by now. It reached as high as your hips, with more flakes joining or splatting against the pane every second.
The sun, you could see, was just barely setting, the gray of the sky growing darker. Soon enough, it was darker inside than it was outside.
The power. It had gone out.
“YN!”
Because the heater sputtered a few more clicks before kicking the bucket, you could barely hear Oikawa’s voice, far off and muffled, over the large distance you’d covered in the library. The lights above you no longer buzzed, and instead an unsettling silence took over the building.
“Oikawa! The lights!” You hugged the blankets to your chest with one straining arm, the other fumbling with your phone flashlight. You began the trek back to the front desk, squinting to try and make out shelves and stray books along the way. Despite the long-sleeved T-shirt you wore, a chill was beginning to nip at your skin, and you slowed to wrap a blanket around your shoulders.
“I know, the weight of the snow must have taken out the electrical box or something!” His voice was getting closer; he must have been making his way towards you in return.
Passing through the towering bookshelves, you made it out and turned a corner onto the main path they created. A shadow of a figure stood inches from your face.
“Shit!” You flinched back, kicking a leg out blindly in self-defense. The tip of your snow boot struck something hard, and a strangled groan escaped the person as they dropped to the floor. Now level with the light of your flashlight, the person was finally visible–Oikawa hugged his shin to his chest with clenched eyes and gritted teeth.
“Ow, ow, ow, owie!”
You winced, your guilt growing worse after realizing he had just been searching for you.
“Oh, sorry,” you cringed, dropping the blankets and hovering your hands over his coiled form. You wanted to help, you just weren’t sure how. “Do you… do you want some ice for that?”
The glare he threw you chilled you to the bone more than the weather outside.
“C’mon,” you hid a snigger behind your hand, straightening up and offering him the other, “it was just a joke. I really am sorry. Let’s get back to the front desk; I’ll help you.”
The huff he released ruffled the bangs on his forehead. “I should make you kiss it better,” he pouted, hand latching onto yours and pulling himself up. He almost yanked you down with him, but you’d stationed a hand on one of the shelves for support the second you felt his whole weight. You hadn’t expected it, but you supposed you should have guessed it–Oikawa’s body was packed with muscle from years of playing volleyball.
Even now, as the main setter of your school’s team, he had daily workouts that only made his body stronger. You’d passed him once during a warm autumn day; he was jogging around campus shirtless while you were on your way back to the dorms after just getting out of class. He was headed straight for you, and during that time, everything seemed to move in slow motion.
One, two, three… eight, you’d counted, eyes raking down his chest. The sweat glistened on his bare skin, bathing him in a glowing sheen due to the midday sun. A narrow waist trailed down, down to volleyball shorts hanging slanted on his hips. A smug snicker drew your gaze up, past a broad chest and shoulders and onto Oikawa’s simpering face.
“Like what you see?” his lips mouthed, but you couldn’t hear over the pounding in your ears, blood rushing to your face.
“You’re disgusting” were the only words you could think to say, though they were the exact opposite of how you felt. Maybe you were actually speaking to yourself, ashamed at the way your body reacted to a man you hated with your entire mind. Nonetheless, his face fell in shock, and you brushed past him, ignoring how he’d stopped dead in his tracks and continuing back to your dorm.
The view from that day was still imprinted in your mind, as though somehow your mind was afraid of forgetting it. Forgetting him.
But you would never forget how much you despised his attitude.
You released his hand as quickly as you’d grabbed it, reaching back down and gathering the blankets off the floor. A red flush took over your cheeks, and for the first time you were glad the electricity had gone out. Maybe the rest of your body was beginning to freeze, but your face was completely warm.
“I’m not kissing anything, perv.”
You tried to leave him stranded behind you, moving forward to return to the front desk through the darkness, but his longer strides easily caught up with you aside from a small limp.
“The night is still young, YN.”
Instead of a proper response, you settled for a scoff, avoiding the gaze you knew was locked on your face. An amused hum escaped the man beside you, but you blocked it out.
Finally back at the front desk, you spared another look outside. The sun had set completely now, a dark blue hue now in the sky as more and more snow collected against the glass. It seemed the warmth of the room had been sucked away completely, leaving behind a stale, frigid atmosphere that dried up the back of your throat.
“The blankets will certainly help,” Oikawa broke the silence behind you, “but we’ll need more than that. I snagged what I could from the backroom, some water bottles left in the fridge or so, but we need food.” When you shifted to face him, he nodded his head toward the vending machine next to the restrooms.
“You want to break into the vending machine?” you deadpanned.
“Unless you’ve got generous amounts of cash, of course,” he smiled sarcastically.
“Maybe we should wait until morning before we start committing crimes.”
Oikawa shrugged. “Desperate times, YN.”
“We’re not that desperate.”
“Not yet.” He eyed the cloud of air his words left, releasing a larger, experimental breath and watching the fog that hung in the air afterward.
The sight made your stomach clench a little. If the cold from the outside had seeped in that quickly, you had a feeling three measly blankets weren’t going to last the two of you through the night. A wave of goosebumps ran along your skin when you thought about the cold too much.
You swallowed. “I’m sure we’ll be fine. We just have to make it till morning.” The strain in your arms from holding onto the blankets too long finally drew your attention back to them, and you busied yourself with arranging the throws on the floor. You handed one to Oikawa, saving one for yourself before spreading the last on the floor behind the front desk.
The rough carpet floor was less unforgiving when covered with a blanket, but you knew that in a matter of minutes your backside would be numb either way. Oikawa snagged the water bottles off the counter and passed them down to you before settling on the floor himself, a distance far too close for your comfort, but the heat he was giving off silenced any of your complaints.
Then it was too quiet. You cracked open a water bottle and took a sip, then you opened it again and took another sip. All the while, you saw Oikawa watch you in your peripheral vision, and when his staring came to be too much, you scrambled for your phone.
“Shit.”
“What?”
You patted your hands down your legging pockets once more, then along the ground. You flapped around your blanket, hoping to hear a weight thump against the floor, but there was nothing.
“My phone’s missing.”
“When did you-”
“Dammit, I left it on the ground after kicking you!”
“Hey,” Oikawa screeched, offended. “You say that like it was my fault!”
“Well,” you rose to your feet, Oikawa following suit, “you were the one who scared the shit out of me!”
“Didn’t you know I was looking for you?” He followed you down the main walkway through the shelves, his presence inches from your back.
“Yeah, but I didn’t expect you to materialize right in front of my face!” In effort to escape his suffocating presence, you quickened your pace, eyes on the ground but not really seeing anything.
“Oh, I’m sorry, my bad. Next time you go missing during a snowstorm, I’ll be sure to wear a bell so you know exactly where I am at all times.”
“That’s not what-”
Crack.
The both of you froze in place, argument out of mind in an instant.
“Was that…?”
“Uh oh.”
You both directed your attention to underneath your foot, where an object lay cracked from your aggressive stomping.
Dropping your face into your hands, you let out a loud groan. “Could this day get any worse?”
Oikawa had squatted down to investigate, nudging your leg out of the way before picking up your cracked phone. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, it was useless anyway.” He tapped and poked at the screen, toying with the buttons. “Looks like it was out of battery.”
“Fuckkkkk.” You tore it from his hands, performing your own investigations of pats and brushes along the screen before calling it quits. “Isn’t yours out too?”
Solemnly, he nodded, taking his phone out and allowing you to tap around on it before throwing it back in his pocket.
“So we’re fucked?”
“Majorly.”
The pair of you slumped back to the main desk, flopping onto the ground and wrapping back up in your blankets. A shiver of cold mixed with frustration had taken over your body in a short span of time, causing your breaths to escape with slight chatters of your teeth.
You could feel it now, on the tips of your fingers and the end of your nose. A chill seeped through your leggings and slid up your shirt sleeves, sinking into every pore and leaving your hair standing on end. Your muscles began that all-too familiar buzz, a slow but steady trembling in effort to get your blood moving. Your toes curled in your boots.
“It’s cold,” you commented, the words slipping out like an afterthought.
You thought he’d agree, hum, or even nod his head. Instead, Oikawa scooted closer to you on the blanket, enough that his upper arm brushed the end of your shoulder. Then, slowly, as though approaching a wounded animal, his arm rose and wrapped around you, not only covering you with his heat but also with his blanket, still soaked in the warmth from his body.
Mind blank, you didn’t move a muscle for what seemed to be five minutes after he’d moved to embrace you.
“Is this okay?” he’d whispered into the silence, voice soft yet hesitant.
“W-why?”
“You said you were cold.” He shifted a little, but didn’t move away. And surprisingly enough, you didn’t want him to. “I–didn’t want you to be cold.”
A blanket of silence falls over the two of you, an atmosphere of peace you never thought you’d experience with the brunette man in your life. His warmth left you in a sort of lethargic trance; you didn’t want to move away, though your mind was urging you to, nor did you have the energy to. For the first time, you wanted Oikawa close to you, and you didn’t want him to leave for a while.
You were exhausted.
Formerly, the two of you were both leaning back against the wall. Now, tucked into Oikawa’s side, your right arm pressed into the side of his chest while your left was cushioned a distance from the wall by Oikawa’s arm, wrapped sturdily around your shoulders and urging you to lean toward him instead.
Man, you were tired.
“YN?”
“Hmm?” Your eyes cracked back open, and you shifted your gaze to him, waiting.
His head was leaned back against the wall, eyes still closed as a single brown tuft of hair fell across his forehead. In the light the moon reflected off the snow, you could see the length of his lashes brushing the apples of his cheeks, the sharp edge of his jawline that you yearned to run a finger along. He didn’t bother to look at you for a response when he muttered, “Why do you hate me?”
The question zapped you to attention like a taser, guilt flooding your chest for a reason you didn’t quite think you knew. There was a strong urge in you to pull away from him, but the hand on your arm tightened, halting any drastic movements.
“I… I don’t…”
“I know you do,” he sighed, tongue running out along his lips. “Please, just tell me.” There was a sort of surrender in his voice you never thought you’d hear. For a second, you missed his smug tone. You missed the teasing lilt of his voice. You missed the Oikawa you knew.
You wanted him back.
“You’re weirding me out, Oikawa.” In this position, you couldn’t poke him in the cheek, so you settled for his thigh. He barely flinched, peeking a single eye open. “Go back to acting like that smug little shit I know you are.” His lips quirked up.
“I promise I’m still me, YN. I’m just a bit curious is all.”
“Yeah, well, it’s freaking me out. I want the normal you back.”
Wrong words.
“You do?” He was wide awake at that, head straightened up and eyes wide and at attention. If he was a dog, his tail would be wagging.
“Nevermind.” You twisted in his grip to get your back facing him.
“No, no, noooo.” Both of his hands grabbed onto your shoulders, shaking you back and forth. “Say it again. Say you want me again.”
“God, you’re such a perv,” you stutter, voice wavering with his movements.
“You’re so mean, YN!” he whines, finally releasing your shoulders. You think he’s given up and let down your guard slightly, a little curious at his expression. But when you turn your head to face him, two arms wrap around your waist, yanking you back and in between Oikawa’s outstretched legs.
“What the-” While you struggle in his arms, Oikawa only holds you closer, leaning back and taking you with him so your back rests against his front. He hooks his head over your shoulder, and you tense when you feel a breath of warm air against your ear.
A shiver tears through your body, but you’re relieved he doesn’t comment on it.
“Say it again, YN.” And he definitely feels the shiver that time. A breathless snicker heats up the skin of your neck, but you’re too trapped in his arms to escape the overwhelming feeling it erupts in you.
“God, I hate you,” you sigh instinctively.
Oikawa grows still. The fun and games are over, it seems, as he pulls his head away from your neck. The arms encircling your waist have become rigid.
There’s a thump against the wall. Then a pause. “Why?”
You bite your lip, and though the words are on the tip of your tongue, you can’t seem to force them out. You’re ashamed, embarrassed, regretful. All of those ugly feelings he pulls out of you every other day, you draw out of yourself in this moment.
“Oikawa, I-”
“Tooru,” he corrects.
Flustered, you continue, “Tooru… whenever you… you always just… I never…” You groan at your lack of words, throwing frustrated hands over your face. The heat in your body, though small, rises. “I just feel stupid around you.”
“Stupid?”
“Like an idiot.”
“Idiot?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah?”
“Stop it.”
“Sorry,” he pauses, “I just… you think you feel stupid? Around me?”
You don’t understand what he means, so you stay silent.
“So… you feel like an idiot around me… why, exactly?”
“Because,” you wave your hands around, not really sure what your gestures are doing considering he can’t see them, “you just… you tease me all the time! And when we’re in class and you look at me and I just feel like I’ve got shit all over my face! And when you throw those stupid-ass parties, I feel so lame because it’s not like I don’t want to socialize, but I hate the way people act at parties! And then you come along and tell me that I should join, but I know it’s gonna fucking suck and I know you’re gonna see that I stick out during parties like a sore thumb and that makes me feel even worse and I-”
“YN!” A hand slips from your waist, slapping over your mouth and effectively cutting off your rambling. A disbelieved breath sounds behind you. “Jesus Christ, YN.”
And you feel like even more of an idiot. You take some pleasure in the fact that he can’t see you as tears begin springing in the corners of your eyes.
But then there’s a hard pressure against the back of your head. And then something soft against the back of your neck. “YN, YN, YN,” and you realize his lips are on your neck, his face buried into your hair, “God, you just… you drive me fucking crazy, you know that?”
You didn’t know that.
“The fact that you can say all of that, and think all of that, and feel all of that, without realizing why I even do it at all drives me insane.” You feel his mouth move against you with every word, your skin growing hot under his breath. You try to speak against his hand, and thankfully he pulls it away when you do, returning it to your waist as though it doesn’t muddle your mind.
“What are you talking about?”
And he laughs like it’s the dumbest question in the world. And maybe it is, but you have to know.
His lips are on your neck one last time before he pulls away, leaning back against the wall once more and taking you with him. “YN,” his fingers twitch against your skin, the cold of them biting through the fabric of your shirt, “do you have feelings for me?”
And you feel like the biggest idiot of all, because you do.
You do have feelings for him, and you only just realized that now.
“Holy shit.”
Oikawa stiffens. “What?”
“I have feelings for you.” The words slip out before you can stop them, mostly because you’re still in disbelief. Did you really? After all this time of thinking you hated him, of hating how he teased you, you seriously had feelings for him and you didn’t even notice?
Stupid. So very stupid.
A loud scoff from Oikawa breaks you out of your stupor.
“Jesus Christ, you’re gonna drive me nuts.”
And you can’t even turn around and call him an asshole because he’s turning you in his grip and pressing his lips against yours. The hand on your chin, the other on your hip, all to pull you closer, spin you around and tug you onto his lap without separating from you.
Your hands are in his hair, and you’re tugging, and it’s that whine you always hear whenever you don’t respond to his teasing, that needy one you thought you always hated because it just shakes you to your core but now you get it, you finally understand it. And those long fingers, the ones he always slams onto your notes drunkenly whenever he’s having a party and you’re not there but you forgot to lock your door so now he’s in your room and he’s bothering you, begging you and toying with you to get your attention, those fingers that have stolen your notebook away and held over your head while he smiles and stubbles around, getting you to chase him–they’re on your hips and you know they’re leaving bruises and you like that they’re leaving bruises.
You like it all because it’s so cold tonight and he’s so warm and he’s always so warm and you want more, more, more.
And he hovers over you, and you gasp. You hate how he teases you because he loves it so much, and that makes you love it. You love it.
It is cold tonight. There’s a blizzard raging right outside the doors to the library, stacking up snow higher and higher. You’re both trapped, but you don’t want to leave. Because despite all of the cold, you’re both very, very warm.
~~~
The next morning, when people find the two of you, they blame it on that little notion that runs through everyone’s minds when people are stuck together during a cold blizzard, because surely that’s what it must be.
And surely that’s why your cheeks are flushed and full of embarrassment, because although everybody knows how weird it can be, during such a life-threatening situation, it’s a desperate attempt to stay warm.
So when they found you the next morning, thankfully safe and sound and wrapped around each other to try and preserve warmth, they were glad that you two innocent, poor little students, who must have been so scared to be trapped in a building without electricity and heat, were going to be okay, and that they could safely escort you out of the building and back to your dormitories with an official apology.
Until one of you asked if they could leave so you could finish what you’d started.
Summary: After breaking up to go their separate ways after high school, YN and Oikawa struggle to accept the fact that neither is willing to give up their career paths for the other. Instead, they both confide in the moon, wishing that it was their other half. (Based on “Talking to the Moon” by Bruno Mars.)
A/N: I won’t take up too much space talking about the obvious (I straight up dipped for like a month, oopsies). Just know I missed writing and finally got the push I’ve been waiting for to return for a little (more like finally had no homework). Enjoy!
Word count: 2464
The moon, with its deep craters and pale shine, mesmerized him each night, but not for its beauty. For each night, he watched it with intensity, almost glaring at the crescent hanging in the sky with great envy.
It was never alone. There were always stars or planes or blinking lights on top of tall mountains keeping it company as it made its slow, purposeful journey toward the horizon. Across hazy clouds and black skies, it never strayed from its path, not once.
No matter how much he wished it would.
“YN.” Oikawa fiddled with his thumbs before continuing. “Are you… are you there?”
Maybe he was crazy. His neighbors certainly thought so. On the balcony of his beachside condo, he leaned his elbows on a railing that never covered with dust and turned his face to the dark of the night.
“I miss you.”
And so, as he spoke to the moon of all his troubles, he imagined how she would respond. He told of his game earlier in the day, how his serving had improved and how they had won with just two points to spare. How his teammates had commented on his lingual improvements and celebrated with a drink. But as time went on, he found his shoulders slumping lower and lower until his head was almost hanging, limp.
The wind had bitten his nose and cheeks long ago and wisped his hair into a frenzy, and yet he could never find the will to go inside. Still, the moon lit up his form, encouraging his words further.
“I still love you.” His voice, barely above a whisper. Oikawa had reached that point that he seemed to reach every night, speaking of his regrets, of his goodbyes, of his sorrows.
“I’m sorry we had to end that way.”
Thousands of miles away and twelve hours later, YN looked up at her own moon, her own stars. Yet, for her, they seemed to move too fast, pass by too quickly. She had never brought herself to open her mouth and let out how she felt, but with the soft rays peeking through her dorm window and painting her desk and papers gray, she’d certainly let her mind wander one too many times.
Was the pain worth it? Did she do the right thing? Wasn’t this what she wanted?
Love lay eighteen thousand miles away, right where she’d left it. Purposefully. But if she had done so on purpose, why did it feel like the world had caused her this pain?
Her high school sweetheart, her cocky brunette, her best friend, and what must be the love of her life because if he was anything less, she wouldn’t let it ruin her future like this. In college, she had grades to keep up and classes to focus in because, as she’d told him, this was what she wanted. And she wouldn’t stop it for anyone.
That night, in her house, Oikawa had told her he’d been recruited to another country. His skills were unmatched and they wanted him on their team. With the promise of beautiful beaches and a generous paycheck, Oikawa said he couldn’t say no. But YN made no such promises.
“You know I can’t go with you.” I couldn’t, I really couldn’t.
“What about online?” It wouldn’t have been the same.
“I want the experience, Tooru, not just the classes.” The experiences aren’t enough anymore, though.
“So what does that mean, YN?” I didn’t know.
“Come on, Tooru. We both… we both know what it means.”
She’d bawled her eyes out, tears flowing without end the minute he shut her front door. A deep pain struck her chest each time she thought about his back turning without a goodbye. Her parents offered sympathetic smiles and well-meaning hugs, rubbing her back and whispering that everything was going to be okay until she cried herself to sleep.
That was months ago. Seven, to be exact.
But as Oikawa and YN both peered out at their moons, confessing their pain and drowning in their sorrows, they couldn’t help but feel like the loss had happened yesterday.
~~~
Suitcases sat on the floor, filling the room and emptying it all the same. On his bare mattress, Oikawa sat with his teeth buried into his bottom lip, leaning back on his hands as tears trailed down his cheeks.
Just across from him hung the collage of photographs YN had helped him pin against the wall. A photograph of them together as young kids where Oikawa pulled YN’s hair and laughed while she cried. Another of them on prom night, not smiling at the camera but instead at each other, lovestruck. Another, YN wrapped up in Oikawa’s arms as he hoisted her up high grinning and rubbing his nose into her neck as she squealed.
Two weeks ago, he never would have thought of throwing them away, but now it was all he wished to do. After all, by this fall he would be moved out of Japan and into Argentina, in an apartment he’d already arranged with the team manager.
Being recruited right out of high school. It was a blessing, it was lucky, it was everything the Aoba Johsai Volleyball Club called it and more. Now, Oikawa felt more cursed than blessed.
The one person he wanted smiles from gave him tears. When he wanted congratulations, he got heartbreak. Oikawa wanted her to come with him–he could make room in his new house. He would always make room, and more.
At the very least, he wanted to hear her beg for him not to. Not to leave, not to break her heart, not to follow his dreams. In the future, he knows he would’ve truly considered it if she had, but YN was not selfish like that. Oikawa’s YN would never try to take him away from this once in a lifetime opportunity.
YN loved him too much to hold him back with her, and that was the one thing he always resented about her.
~~~
Dark circles and puffy bags hung under YN’s eyes. This was what she wanted.
Clouds stormed overhead, whispering deadlines and test days and hundred point assignments. This was what she asked for.
This was how she got the job she wanted, the job she picked out when she was approximately nine. This was how she expanded her bubble, discovered a world she thought had at least a little more sunshine and rainbows.
But all she felt was alone. Her friends were spread across the country, some still in her hometown and some littered here and there, but none had come with her to the school she’d chosen. She had many classmates, all acquaintances and nothing more.
This wasn’t what she’d expected, and she soon came to realize this wasn’t what she wanted. Her future career that she’d pretended was more important than anything now felt like her worst enemy.
But what hurt the most was that she’d left behind the love of her life to pursue it.
Rain, a weather she once loved, pounded outside her window with occasional strikes of lightning. Every flash lit up the room, the photos hung on the wall above her bed glowing each time. Behind the clouds she knew sat the moon, but it was invisible to her at this moment.
Still, her thoughts ran rampant. Opening her laptop, she signed in past a picture of Oikawa and her she’d never gotten around to changing and clicked on the search bar.
23 hours and 20 minutes. Tickets upwards of $3,000.
A phone call wouldn’t do–she wanted to see him. Talk to him. Not allow him to ignore her like she was so dearly afraid he would.
She didn’t have the money or time now, but when she did….
YN bookmarked the page for later.
~~~
For the first time in too long, the moon was full. And, as usual, Oikawa slid open his balcony door, leaving it cracked just a bit so he could slip back inside when he got too cold. Then he leaned his elbows against the wood railing, folding his hands and turning his face to the sky.
“YN, I don’t know if you remember, but it’s our anniversary today. Not when we started dating, no. It was the first time I ever got the guts to flirt with you. You know, when I shoved you on the playground and ran away for the first time.” His lips perked at the memory.
“God,” he snickered, “that was embarrassing. But I think we can both admit my flirting improved a lot.”
Running a hand through his hair, Oikawa sighed and gripped the railing just a bit tighter. Then he pursed his lips and swallowed. “I know I sound crazy, but I really do hope you do the same thing I’m doing right now. Even if you look insane doing it.”
A knock sounded on his door just as Oikawa prepared to lean himself further on the rail, making him flinch.
Whipping his phone out of his pocket, he glared at the time. 12:57 am.
Who the hell…?
More knocks urged him to return inside his home and jog over to the door. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” he gritted out, reaching the door and turning the knob. “Damn, you’re gonna wake up my whole-”
The sight that met his eyes caused him to choke on his last words.
“YN.”
YN in a sweatshirt he’d given up searching for months ago. YN with backpack straps resting on her shoulders and a deer-in-headlights look on her face.
Neither spoke for what felt like hours, but was really a whole five minutes, just taking each other in. Heart pounding, Oikawa locked his eyes on her own, first taking in their usual, comforting shades of color he’d dreamed about too many times, then landing them on the bags underneath. He dragged his gaze down to her lips, parted, pink, and glistening from her tongue peeking out to lick them nervously. Down her neck (thankfully unmarked), to her chest where one of his very first volleyball tournaments’ titles greeted him, to her black pants, to her scuffed shoes. Overall unscathed, but that, to be honest, wasn’t truly what he was concerned about.
She’s here. She’s really here.
“Tooru, I-”
When YN finally spoke, finally uttered his name in that beautiful way she did for the first time in too long, Oikawa’s gaze snapped to hers so suddenly she had to stop and take a breath. “I know you’re probably wondering why I’m here and why I look like crap and how I figured out where you lived and how I got here and why-”
“YN.” Oikawa cut her off but never let her finish as he grasped her by both shoulders and yanked her into his apartment, crushing her against his chest as he kicked the door shut.
Warm and soft and plush like he remembered. His hands reached around and pressed flat into her back before balling up the cotton sweatshirt in his fists. Though Oikawa himself couldn’t breathe and he was certain YN couldn’t either, he couldn’t help but want her closer and closer to him. Though she was in his arms, she still felt too far away.
He dropped his head to her shoulder and turned his face into her neck, stray hairs tickling his nose as he nuzzled back and forth into her bare skin.
“Tooru,” she whispered gently, with a smile he could hear in her voice. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here.”
“No,” he shook his head, hating that the movement caused her hands to stop brushing through the strands. “I’m not. Not right now.” He pressed a kiss to her skin before whispering, “I’m just glad you are here.”
“But-”
“No buts.” He pulled his face away from her neck to press his forehead against hers. Instantly, their breaths mingled just as they always had. If either of them moved even an inch closer, their lips would brush and that would be all it took.
“You need to know,” YN pulled away just a bit but, swiftly, Oikawa tugged her flush against him once more, each part of their bodies brushing like they always had, like they’d never stopped. The thundering of his heart almost drowned out her words–almost.
She smiled, and her eyes twinkled like they always did when she looked at him, like they hadn’t done in a while. And her gaze softened and her body relaxed as she gave in to the truth of her own words.
“I can’t be happy without you, Tooru. I just can’t. Because,” she shook her head with a growing smile as her hands fell to his nape, “I don’t want my future to be one without you. You’re what I want, Tooru. All that I want.”
And they brushed and Oikawa sunk into the beating of his own heart as her body and soul fell against him, drawing him in with the warmth and pleasure he knew he would never find without YN by his side.
When their lungs finally pleaded too much for air, Oikawa and YN surfaced with grins and happy tears, love filling the room in a wonderful way.
Leading her backwards, one hand cradling her head and the other clutching her hip, Oikawa peppered kisses across all of the bare skin he could find and then more when he searched farther. When her knees finally buckled against his bed and they both collapsed among the sheets, Oikawa let himself speak, sparingly.
“God, I missed you, YN.” His lips brushed along her chin reverently. “So, so much. I can’t stand not having you with me.”
“Me too,” she sighs.
“How?” He stops suddenly.
“What?”
He draws the hand behind her neck to her cheek, breathing heavily as he traces his thumb along her bottom lip. His eyes can’t seem to stop moving, heatedly taking in every inch of her. “How did you find out where I was?”
This makes her release a breathy laugh before she brushes her nose against his.
