#miya atsumu angst
SLEEP THE NIGHT — miya atsumu
Type:Standalone Movie (One-Shot Fiction)
Cast:Miya Atsumu
Storyline:Tonight, he want to be the best boyfriend that he could be.
Genre: Drama, Slice of Life
He never cooked.
Miya Atsumu never dared to stand in the kitchen because he knew too well what could possibly happen. His twin brother who was now the owner of the infamous onigiri chain always told him that whatever he touched somehow turned into fire.
But he didn’t care, at this moment he could only focus on the opened page of his tablet where your favourite food displayed. He tried to find the high rated recipe, even though it was not the simplest one, he just wanted to cook what was best for you.
After all, a perfect woman like you only deserves the nicest thing in life.
You were so patient, always supporting him through every step that he took. Never once you complained about his busy schedule, his almost non-existent presence inside the apartment you shared, or even the way he put you second after volleyball.
Volleyball always came first, that was a fact that you knew since you dated him long ago in high school. He loved the said sport more than anything in the world. His fiery passions, his energy, his time — he gave it all to a sport that he found together with his brother when they were just a silly kid.
And then came you, always silencing all those nosy new supporters when it was time for him to serve. Then came you, helping him answer a question that his teacher threw at him because he fell asleep in class after a harsh tournament.
You, a woman who helped him get through his days as your existence was like a guiding star for him.
He would fall into pieces if you were not there, walking by his side to remind him of time. He needed time to eat, time to rest, time to let loose and hang out with his beloved friends from high school. Atsumu was sure that he would be lost without you there for him.
So just this one time, he wanted to make it right for you.
“You don’t have to cook for me, Atsumu.” He just hummed to give you a sign that he heard you. “Atsumu, please.” But he ignored your plea and continued to read the recipe. He wanted to do something good, something that a perfect boyfriend should do.
You could only let out a sigh as you sat on the kitchen island’s stool, eyeing the national setter as he carefully added some ingredients on the pan. He hissed as the oil splashed out a little, hitting his skin that made him go into panic mode.
A chuckle slipped from your lips as you saw him frantically running to the sink, letting out a sigh of relief once he could feel cold water streaming down his hand, easing the pain in an instant. He really tried, today he really tried.
You didn’t have the heart to stop him since you knew that once he set his mind on something, he wouldn’t care about what anyone else’s said. So you just sat there, becoming a company that he wanted, just like you always became for years slipping into his life.
“Come on, Atsumu.” He insisted you to stay still as he cooked for you, and you didn’t want to hurt his pride by walking toward him without telling him first. “Let me help you.” So you asked, hoping that he would accept your proposition.
“Nope! Let me try this on my own.” He answered with the same excitement as before and went back to his task. “Just sit there, I am almost done. Promise.” Then he calmed down, composing himself so he could cook with a clear mind.
He needed to do it, he couldn’t let tonight turn into another day where you ended up being the one who took care of him.
Atsumu turned off the stove before preparing the pristine white plate that would be used to showcase your favourite dish. He smiled in triumph as he looked at the masterpiece. Tonight was the first time he cooked a meal like this, and he couldn’t help but be proud of himself for this one achievement.
Though, the glee that he felt right now was nothing compared to the twinkle that was seen in your eyes.
Your lips tugged into a smile as he set down the meal in front of you. He didn’t want to eat, no, he wanted to see you first as your hand grabbed the fork. And the second you popped the piece into your mouth, he never felt this happy to see someone he loved enjoying his hard work.
You squealed a little, humming in satisfaction as you tasted the food that the blonde made just for you. It was happiness, written all over your face as you continued to eat, and each bite only made you crave for more.
Maybe this was what Osamu felt, maybe this was the reason why his brother wanted to be in the culinary career. To make people smile, to see the joyful look from your loved one for something that you made.
Wouldn’t it be lucky to have the younger twin as a lover? Running a respected business, working together with a dear friend, all bills covered, making something that others could enjoy, things that his lover would cherish at the end of the day.
Truthfully — Atsumu was a little bit jealous of his twin right now.
Because with volleyball, he couldn’t do the same. Sure, you were there on almost every match that he had. Yes, there was always a smile on your face as you cheered for him. And of course, you looked so happy as you stood at the stands with pride swelling your chest.
But was that enough to give to a lover?
His winning only belonged to him, it was something that anyone else couldn’t enjoy, except maybe his teammate. Unlike food that could be tasted, unlike clothes that could be worn. Volleyball just, well, volleyball. It was a sport that he loved, one that he couldn’t share with a lover.
Yet you never changed, you never left him. Even though he couldn’t give much, even though he was not that perfect boyfriend who could pay all the bills and buy you expensive gifts — you stayed, for such a long time, patiently there even though he was barely around.
“Atsumu?”
He jolted when his name slipped from your lips. Brown orbs immediately finding yours that filled with concern, face softened at whatever expression that was shown on his facade right now. “Why don’t you eat your meal? Do you dislike it now?”
“No, no.” He cleared his throat, avoiding your gaze for a moment. “I like it, I like anything that you love, (Y/n).” He wanted to bonk his head for saying such a cliche sentence, but he couldn’t help it since it was exactly what he felt.
You only gave him a smile before focusing back to the meal that he made for you. And for him, seeing you like this, so adorable as you shove your favourite food in your mouth — he wished that he did something like this sooner, adding some spices to his endless routine at the court.
Addingyou,to his daily routine.
“I am going to clean the dishes, okay?” You said softly as you got up from your seat. Your plate was already empty with how fast you ate the meal. “You already cooked, so let me do this one.”
He didn’t answer and just ate the rest of the food on his plate. With his speed, he choked a little but kept continuing anyway. He gulped down a glass of water right after his plate was clean without anything on top of it.
“No. Let me be a good boyfriend to-”
“Atsumu.”
The setter immediately went silent from the intonation that you used. Stern, yet still filled with warm. He didn’t dare to say anything as you grabbed his plate away, afraid that he would ruin the perfect night.
Like what he always did, like all the nights before this.
“Just go upstairs, I will join you in bed once I am done.” He didn’t move though, eyes fleeting to where you were right now as you walked to the sink.
“You promise?”
You dropped the plate gently, letting out a sigh before turning your face toward him. There it was, a smile that always made him feel at ease. You looked so breathtaking even if you only cladded with old pajamas and hair sticking out like you haven’t combed for days.
“I promise, Atsumu.”
And with that, he stood up. Knowing for sure that you were a woman of your word.
Atsumu wanted to walk up toward you, wrapping his arms around your torso as he let his face rested on your nape, sniffling your scent as much as he could. But he was afraid, he never did that before, what if you didn’t get used to him for being so touchy like that?
He decided to turn his head and ascend to the second floor where the shared bedroom was located. When he thought about it, he was rarely there, sleeping on the same bed with you even though it would be years since he had you as his lover.
Most of the time he was always out, practising until late at night, bonding with his teammates, and decided to crash at his friend’s apartment instead since it was too far from his place to their gymnasium. Yet you always reached for him. Making time to give him some healthy lunchboxes and snacks in between your busy hours of work.
He realised that he was such a bad boyfriend.
“Hey, ‘Tsumu-”
“You are coming today, right?” He asked with excitement as he zipped his team jacket up. “We are going to play against Suna! Ha, I want to rile him up so much I wonder how he is in the court right now.” He looked like a child, gleeful as he looked at his reflection on the mirror. “You gonna be there?”
You could only stare at him, spinning your brain to think about what sentence that you should let out.
“W-Well, of course.” You cleared his throat, cursing at yourself for even stuttering. “You promised to take me to that restaurant you reserved after the match too, how could I waste a chance to spend time with my boyfriend?”
And as you saw his face contorted into a shocked one, you knew that you were back in the same cycle all over again. “You forget, didn’t you?”
“Fuck, I am sorry.” He immediately turned his face toward you, fear coated his eyes. “I forgot to make the reservation and I— shit! I even promised Suna to hang out after that.” He immediately took a few steps forward, wanting to cup your cheek as he knew you didn’t deserve to be treated like this — from time to time.
“It’s okay, 'Tsumu.” And this was always the outcome. “Volleyball world comes first, I know. It’s alright.” For you to be so understanding, for you to realise your place. “Just make it up for me by enjoying your game. Win this game for me, maybe?”
He was relieved that you didn’t get angry, most women would kick his ass if he acted like this all the time. But never you, never his (Y/n).
“You know I always win.” He chuckled softly, followed by yours as he leaned in to press his lips on your forehead. “And today is nothing different. Why would I need to win for you just today though? The other match wins were all for you too.”
“So it’s like a routine, then?” Your eyes fleeting to pierce into his brown orbs. “Hey, 'Tsumu, do you have any plan for me today?”
Why did he feel like that question was a trap? With how your eyes filled with hope, he wanted to say that he indeed had a plan for you. But he didn’t, and he couldn’t lie. Because in the end, you always see right through him. That was proven by how the hope was gone even before he could part his lips.
“I see.” There was a little remorse in your tone, and he wanted to cheer you up in an instant. “That’s okay, then!” Yet you were the one who cheered him up, didn’t want him to worry about anything. “Come on, let’s go. I don’t want your teammates to be wary if you are late!”
He frowned when he remembered that day. How he dropped you to stay with his twin brother the whole match, the way your eyes glimmered as Osamu gave you a lunch box filled with your favourite filling onigiri. The hug that was shared, that lingered longer as his twin congratulated you a ’happy birthday’.
Atsumu wanted to punch himself when he realised that it was your birthday after all. The reason why you wanted to spend time with him, why you seemed more clingy that day, of course. And yet, he was not the first person who gave you the greetings, even though he was the one who you saw first thing in the morning.
He always wondered about why you decided to stay with him in his free time that was almost non-existence.
How you always let everything slide, how you suck it up and just focus on his well being, how you answer everyone teasing about him being a bad boyfriend — yet you always answered with pride that whatever happened, he was a good one, and you were happy to have him as your boyfriend.
But at one point, anyone must have hit their limit. Right?
“What is clouding in that big head of yours, Atsumu?” You flicked his forehead, and it was like a reminder to him that he had you in his arms right now, laying under the warm blanket in the bedroom that you two shared. “Your upcoming—”
“You.” He answered truthfully before averting his gaze from the ceiling to your face. “I was thinking about you, honestly.”
There was a flicker of sadness in your eyes, and he wanted to curse at himself for saying something like that out of the blue. “I am sorry, I know that tonight was supposed to be just us enjoying the moment together and not being sappy.”
He held your body even closer than before, afraid that you would be gone too soon if he let it loose. His body shifted a little so he could plant a kiss at the crown of your head, eyes fluttering close as he bathed on the scent that reminded him that he would never be alone.
No words were being said after that, just you and him in each other’s embrace. Your fingers stayed in his unruly hair, caressing the blonde strands that slowly lulled him to sleep.
But he didn’t want to sleep yet. He didn’t want to close his eyes. He wanted to savour the moment with you, one that he rarely felt with how he always prioritised volleyball above everything else. Above you, even.
Atsumu rubbed his eyes from time to time, insisting to stay awake and gripped your hips a little tighter than before. Just one more minute, he wanted to feel your warm body cuddling against his skin for a little longer.
“Hey, (Y/n).” He called out, earning a little hum of acknowledgement slipping from your lips. “Can you call me like you used to?”
He could feel how your body went rigid for a second. Your breath hitched, halted as if the request was something that could hurt you. “I understand if you can’t though. I am okay if you didn’t, I just want to hear it again.”
One second, two seconds, everything felt so heavy as he waited for your answer. He wanted to hear his nickname from your lips, it sounds so lovely, not irritating like how his brother called him with the same name.
“Okay,'Tsumu.”
He felt so relieved as he heard his name rolled down your tongue. Happiness, love, comfort, he found it all with the way you called his name. You always use that nickname ever since you dated him, and it felt like a lifetime ago since the last time he heard it from you.
It was just Atsumu now. No more 'Tsumu, just his full first name that still sounded so odd since he still couldn’t believe his mind. No, he could believe it. With how much he neglected you, with how much he was never there in your life — he acknowledged it. He just didn’t want to.
“You should sleep, 'Tsumu.” Your fingers trailed down his cheek as you looked up. “You have practice tomorrow, right?”
You knew all about his schedules, all the things that he allowed to eat and things that he had to do. You printed his routine in the back of your mind, somehow up until now, you couldn’t help but care for him.
“Yeah, I have practice tomorrow.” He gulped down before booping your nose playfully. “But I want to stay awake a little more. If that’s too much to ask?”
He mustered his puppy eyes, pouting a little and tightening his embrace around you. This was your weakness, to see him all clingy like this. And when you let out a sigh and giggle, he knew that he got you.
“God, I love you so much to resist you, you know that?” You whispered out under your breath. But then as if you knew in an instant what you had said, you cleared your throat. “Okay, I give in. Stop giving me that puppy eyes, Atsumu.”
“Sorry, sorry.” He smiled sheepishly before resting his head comfortably on the pillow once again, securing you in his embrace as you laid back on his chest. “One more question, (Y/n). And then I promised I would zip my mouth after that until we fell asleep.”
“Alright, shoot.”
He frowned a little, eyes scanning the unfamiliar ceiling. He was not supposed to feel like a guest in his own place. Yet as he saw the beige coloured ceiling with some starlight sticker, he didn’t feel right. Yeah, it was the price that he had to pay for rarely here in this apartment with you.
“From scale zero to ten, how perfect of a man I am today?”
He heard a sigh, another one slipped from you. Atsumu could count how many times you had sigh because of him, and he really wished that he could make you laugh instead of giving you headaches like this. “Don’t sugarcoat though, I just needed the truth.”
“Ten.” You answered without doubt, yet as he looked down, wanting to see your eyes, you didn’t look up. “Not just today, you always had a perfect score as a man. Passionate, have a big dream, would do anything to achieve it. If not I am not going to be your girlfriend for so long.”
Ah, he just realised that he used the wrong term in his question.
“Let me rephrase it, (Y/n).” He closed his eyes, thinking if he was ready to hear the truth or not. “From scale zero to ten, how perfect of a boyfriend I am today?”
You clutched the tight shirt that he wore at his question, burying your face on his chest to hide yourself. He raised one of his eyebrows in confusion, didn’t know why you couldn’t answer it. Maybe it was that bad, maybe he could never be a good boyfriend after all.
“Perfect.” He almost couldn’t hear your answer with how it muffled on his shirt. “You are so perfect today, 'Tsumu.”
Though he could hear it so clearly, the answer. He wanted to hear the other statement, of how he was alwaysa perfect boyfriend, just like how you told him he was a perfect man. But of course it was not possible, he never became a lover that you could be proud of.
All these time, you complimented him, you showed to the world his capability. His skill in volleyball, his soft side toward his brother, how loyal he was to his friends — but you never said anything about how good of a boyfriend he was.
It was just all about him, not how he treatedyou.
“Hold me,” He pleaded, biting his lips since he didn’t want his voice to waver. “Hold me tighter than usual.” His voice sounded like a whisper as he held you close, and he wanted you to do the same. “Please?”
Miya Atsumu was not someone who liked to beg, he knew you always gave what he wanted anyway. “Just tonight.” But he wouldn’t gamble anything right now. “I just need it tonight.”
He swallowed down the tears that entreating to escape from his eyes. With how your arm moved to hold him close, caging him in a circle filled with comfort, maybe this was enough to be remembered.
Maybe this was enough to be remembered forever.
“I love you, 'Tsumu.”
You sat in the living room with your head hanging low, hands covering your face as you didn’t have the courage to look up at where your boyfriend sat. “But I am… Tired.”
This was the first time he saw you cry. No, the first one was when he won national all those years ago in high school as he screamed at you that he won for you too. But never like this, the tears you shed right now was different from back then. “I tried, I really want to stay with you, to kiss you every morning, to cuddle with you under the blanket.”
He couldn’t say anything, heart thundering as he knew what would happen next. He was not stupid, of course everyone had their limit, and after years went by with a stagnant pace in the relationship — of course you were going to hit it, sooner or later.
“But you are never there, 'Tsumu.”
You finally looked at him, and you could feel your heart shattered even more when you saw his expression. He was dumbstruck, tongue-tied. It was as if he knew that this day would happen, but he still didn’t want to believe it.
He didn’t want to believe that one day you would get tired of being second in his life.
“Does that mean…” He couldn’t ask, knowing the answer to his next question. But he needed to make sure. “Does that mean you want to end this?”
The sunlight that slipped in between curtains was the one who woke him up. He hissed as it reached his eyes, forcing him to wake up. But he closed his eyes once again, stirring his body a little to wrap his arms around you, wanting to feel the warm that your body radiated.
Yet he was only met with cold.
And that was the thing that woke him up in an instant.
His breath laboured as he sat on the bed, brown orbs scanning the room that he shared with you. No, you didn’t just leave, right? But he scanned the room, again and again, searching for any kind of sign that you were still there.
Then again, who was he anyway, to know the signs. He was never here, he could count how many nights that he slept here with you. Atsumu didn’t even remember there were any photographs of you and him together hanging on the wall, he didn’t even know the time you decided to put some starlight sticker on the ceiling, he didn’t know what was the difference between this morning and the others.
Though one thing that he knew for sure, you would always be there when he woke up here.
“Then, please. Give me just one day! I just need one day of your life.”
Atsumu knew that this morning would come, when emptiness met him and reality sinked in as he remembered all the flaws that he had. His feet dragged him out from the bedroom that now felt suffocating for him. He needed you, he had to see you.
“But, Atsu—”
“I will prove it to you! I promise that I’ll make things right for you.”
It was so quiet, there was no music playing on the soundbar. You used to play some upbeat songs to fill the silence as you waited for him to show up after shower. Yet as he walked down the stairs, he could only hear his own footsteps.
“And then you can leave. You can sneak out when I am asleep. You know how much of a heavy sleeper I am, right?”
But then, he was right from the start.
“Alright, Atsumu. I will give you one more night.”
You were indeed — a woman of your words.
“and it cracks” taglist@roseestuosity@mistypoison@samanthaa-leanne@tycrackculture@aomineavenue@tris-does-stuff@tremblinghearts@p0taytoes@too-many-lanes@ntimacy@sunflwrsandprettyskies@chibichab@tsukkiboii@oikawoahh@hoefor2ds@edvigelacivetta@playboygeniusphilanthropist@wompwomphq@himichii@shoyomeow@miyayane @graykageyama@bakugou-akaashi
[8:02]
.
.
.
you had taken a different route to work today. you’d overslept, but it was supposedly okay because you were taking an off tomorrow anyway. your parents were coming to your apartment to visit you, because you’d moved to a different part of tokyo as soon as you’d gotten your job. you check your watch as you fasten your speed. and as your eyes look up again, they glance over a little sign on the window of the restaurant you pass by. you keep walking, but as soon as the information processes in your mind, you stop. and then your feet make a one-eighty degree turn on their own, walking back towards the sign. your eyes widen as you stand on the pavement, the board above the restaurant making your heart jump out of your chest.
onigiri miya.
“miya?” you murmur, blinking profusely. your lips part, and you think. maybe, just maybe.
you open the door.
the bell jingles as you walk to the counter, waiting in the line to see the cashier. there’s two more people in front of you. one of them seems like an ordinary businessman. the other is an old lady, smiling as she pulls out her purse to get the exact amount of cash she needs for her order. it seems as if she’s a regular. since when was this place open, anyway?
“welcome to onigiri miya, what can i get you today?” the cashier asks. he seems like a tired college student. you ponder for a moment, looking up at the menu before you say, “i’ll have the second combo with a lemon iced tea as the drink, please.”
“that will be seven hundred yen, would you prefer cash or card?”
“erm, card please-”
“oi, takeuchi, make sure to restock the tuna in half an hour! the counter’s runnin’ out any second now- [y/n]?” and there he is. just like you suspected. miya osamu, standing in all of his glory, clad in a black baseball cap with an onigiri embroidered on it. he wears a black tee, and a black apron with the same onigiri logo. his grey eyes blink at you profusely as you give him a tight-lipped smile.
“hi, ‘samu,” you say, “h-how are you?”
“excuse me, if you could just finish paying. i’m kind of in a hurry,” the man behind you interrupts. he wears glasses and stands in a three-piece suit, and you apologize before handing your card to takeuchi, who swipes it and tells you to go to the other side of the counter where osamu assembles all the food—by himself.
“ya haven’t called in months,” he says, handing someone their order before he continues, “why’s that?”
“i got busy with work, a big project came up and i honestly lost touch with like fifty people,” you nervously chuckle, “i’m sorry.”
“don’t worry, ’s an understandable excuse,” he chuckles, “ya wanna pop in tonight after closin’ time? i usually clean the kitchen every night by myself. would be nice ta have some company every now ‘n then.”
“only if i get food,” you joke. osamu then hands you a paper bag, a tumbler and a straw. he smiles, “'course, dinner’s on me.”
your day goes by pretty smoothly. your co-workers don’t bother you when you decline going to drink with them at the end of the day—which you’re honestly glad for, because sometimes they irritate you into coming with them, only for you to have the worst hangover the next day.
and now you’re walking inside onigiri miya for the second time today, eyes brightening up as soon as they fall on osamu. he waves you over to sit on a barstool as he wipes the counter, asking you if you want anything to drink. you decline, saying you’d rather not wake up with a hangover since your parents are visiting the next morning.
“tell me, how’s tokyo been treatin’ ya?”
“ugh,” you groan, “it was hell at first. college was so lonely, half the kids knew each other because they were high-school friends. and the ones that didn’t, made their own little cliques. i felt so out of place. but i found a friend or two by the end of my first year. so everything went well after that.”
“are ya workin’ now?” he raised an eyebrow as he slid you a plate of food. you thanked him before continuing, “well, yes. it’s my first year actually working. pretty good so far, i won’t lie. the pay isn’t half-bad, either.”
“well, ’m glad yer happy,” he says, “i opened this restaurant a couple of months ago, actually. just after we stopped talkin’. guess we both got busy during the same time.”
“i guess so.”
just then, something so unexpected happens that your heart jumps out of your chest and begins flopping on the floor like a fish out of water.
the bell jingles. you and osamu look towards the door. your eyes widen. your heart pounds in your ears.
“[y/n?]?”
“h-hi,atsumu.”
© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.
[18:32]
.
.
.
“he loses his voice when he yells too much,” you mumble. the memories of you taking care of him after stupid fights making you smile—it’s a sad smile, and osamu can’t help but feel sympathetic for you. the two of you sit on a bench at the park; you’re mindlessly staring ahead of you as osamu looks at you with glassy eyes. maybe you’re looking at the playing children. or at the sun slowly beginning to set. or the little particles becoming visible by the tyndall effect. you don’t know.
“oh, and he also ends up getting sick if he stays up past two in the morning,” you chuckle now, the time when you’d called him at midnight flashing before your eyes. your boyfriend’s voice was soft that night, as he listened to you ramble and then did the same thing himself. it was around two-thirty when the two of you ended the call and went to bed, and the next day, he passed out next to you in math class.
“and whenever he walks home with me, we usually end up getting strawberry icecream or cream puffs,” your eyes blink softly, to stop the tears from flowing. you’re successful in doing so, and your mind takes you back to the time when you forced the boy into the convenience store at the end of your neighborhood. he was talking about how he needs to get home or his mother will give osamu all the soup and the fatty tuna. he stayed with you anyway, eating ice-cream from a small cup in his hands as the two of you laughed about nothing and everything at the same time.
“and he doesn’t like that onigiri you make with chicken. he hates it but he says he doesn’t wanna hurt you,” a glum blush takes over your cheeks, “he cares about you a lot, even though he doesn’t show it. but you probably know that already.”
you remember atsumu complaining about the chicken tasting weird with the rice, but he’d continued eating the snack that osamu had dropped off anyway. when you’d asked why, he’d reply with, “because ‘samu made it. fer me.”
“ya know you don’t gotta to do this, right? he’s stupid, he’ll come around eventually,” osamu croaks, his voice cracking at the end. you give the grey-haired twin a melancholic smile in return, “don’t really have a choice anymore, 'samu. my dad got a job in tokyo, and i got into the uni there. i can’t stay even if i want to.”
osamu shakes his head, tears escaping his eyes like a dam finally breaking through. he’s had enough. he can’t have his best friend leave him, and he knows it’s selfish to think that way, but he couldn’t help himself. not only were you his best friend, you were also atsumu’s everything. and you couldn’t just leave without telling him, that would be unfair on many different levels.
“he’s an idiot for sayin’ all that shit to ya, but c'mon. you can’t just leave like this without tellin’ him,” osamu reasons, “’s not fair to him. just because he hurt you, doesn’t give ya the excuse ta just up and leave like this.”
“'samu,” you whisper, “even if i tell him, it’ll be all for nothing. you know my train is tomorrow.”
“you suck, ya know that?” the boy only looms down at his lap, his voice becoming quieter. you chuckle, closing the distance between the two of you as you rest your head on his shoulder, “i love ya, though. i’ll miss ya.”
“aww,” you giggle, “you finally admit it.”
“stupid ’tsumu loves ya more,” he mumbled under his breath, “yer like a sibling to me but yer the love of his life.”
“i know,” you whisper, “and i’m sorry.”
“both of you are so, sostupid.”
“i know,” you chuckle, “and i’m so, sosorry.”
and the sun finally goes down.
© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.
[22:43]
.
.
.
atsumu’s scared. he sees you after years of no contact at osamu’s restaurant, and now the three of you are making half-awkward conversations. atsumu stays quiet for the most of it, but he watches you. he watches your body language, the way you laugh, the way you smile—and god, does it feel good to see and hear it again.
he wants you again. he wants you in his arms, in his embrace—you haven’t left his mind ever since the day when you got in a fight with him and he said the harshest things he could to you. he regrets it all, of course. but would you want him again after he caused you so much pain? and you moved away from hyogo and didn’t even spare him an explanation after that, so how was he supposed to feel anything but regret and guilt?
you get up from your spot now, and osamu smiles as he says goodbye. atsumu shakes himself out of his trance, and looks up. you’re walking away. you’re walking out of the restaurant. holy shit, you’re gone.
“oi,” he hears osamu say.
he blinks profusely, looking up in a panicked state. osamu slaps the side of his face lightly, “go get ‘em, moron.”
“right,” he gets up, fumbling towards the door as he runs out, “i’ll pay ya for the food later, i promise!”
“we all know you won’t!”
atsumu sees you. you’re around twenty paces from the restaurant. god, why do you still walk so fast? his mind is filled with fog, yet somehow there’s a billion thoughts just floating around. would you even talk to him? would you forgive him? would you stay this time? would you give him another chance? would you perhaps fall in love with him again?
you stop when you hear his hurried footsteps. atsumu almost crashes into you, and is now standing with his hands on his thighs as he pants. you look at him with furrowed brows and inquisitive eyes, as he says, “i parked my car 'round the corner, lemme drop you home.”
“atsumu, that’s not necessary-”
“please, ’s the least i can do,” he smiles, standing up straight. you nod awkwardly, and then the two of you begin walking side-by-side when he decides to break the silence, “how’ve ya been?”
“good. i got a job right after college so the pay’s been great too. mom and dad visit whenever they can—speaking of, they’re actually coming tomorrow. all my coworkers are nice and we go drinking every now and-”
“i asked how you were. not yer coworkers, or yer job, or yer parents. you. how are you?” his look is of sincerity, and you sigh.
“i guess i’m okay,” you say. there’s a long pause, and then, “i’m sorry.”
“why’re ya sorry?” he questions. you had no reason to be sorry. if anything, he was sorry. he drove you away with his arrogant personality and crude behavior. he called you multiple times after you left, but you never answered them. and after he changed his number, he tried to keep you off his mind. but he ended up failing anyway. he would ask osamu how you were, because apparently his brother was the only person you kept in touch with.
“i… left without telling you. i got into tokyo university and my dad got a big raise and a transfer. so we had to come here either way. even if you hadn’t yelled at me that day, i wouldn’t have told you that i was leaving because i didn’t want to hurt you,” you mumble. but then you chuckle dryly, “i guess you would’ve been hurt either way. because me leaving without saying anything is worse than me confronting you about it. you must’ve felt horrible. and i’m sorry for being a dysfunctional coward.”
“so ya weren’t mad at me all these years?” he asks in disbelief, “why’d ya never return my calls?”
“because i’m an idiot who wanted you to find someone better,” you admit, “i didn’t want to hold you back from volleyball. or string you along while i live a thousand miles away.”
“i can’t believe you were never mad at me.”
“you thought i was mad at you?” you ask, eyes big and blinking up at him as the two of you stop. he nods, swallowing a hard breath. a huge weight had just decided to drop off his shoulders. and he was so, so glad it did.
“i thought ya hated me. i yelled at ya, that too for no good reason. i was irritated that i didn’t win a game. and ta make things worse, i blamed ya for things ya didn’t even do.”
“atsumu,” you halt. the yellow light above the two of you fixating on your eyes as he looks down, “i’m so sorry.”
“it’s not yer fault,” he reasons. you give him a melancholic smile before you get knocked out of your daze, “i’m gonna take the train, don’t worry about dropping me home. if i hurry, i can catch the one that leaves in ten minutes.”
you’re about to leave, and atsumu feels like you’re sand rushing out of the palm of his hands. and then, his voice takes action on its own.
“if i can’t drop ya, can i buy ya coffee sometime?”
you stop, widening your eyes. he’s doing the same—there’s a blush on his cheeks too, and he slaps a hand over his mouth before you throw him the happiest grin he’s ever seen, “i would love that very much, ’tsum.”
he smiles as if this is the most joyous day of his life as he says, “g'night.”
“i’ll ask 'samu for your number when i get home!” you yell before going down the subway stairs.
i would love that very much, 'tsum.
he punches the air and jumps around like he’s a teenager again. your voice rings in his ears as he unlocks his car, and he sleeps like a baby that night.
© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.
Osamu X Reader
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
Will add more later on in the story.
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Don’t do it everyone knows he isn’t real when I comes to relationships
He all fuck but no love..
Some can even say he’s worse than his brother
(Y/N) (L/N) is determined to get into a top university to achieve her goals. She is and organised second year student. She was the perfect student. What could go wrong?
Nothing of course is what one would say however when the long overdue consequences of a decision that was made finally blew up in a big surprise.
A screaming bloody small human popped out..
W-What happened (Y/N).. Why didn’t you tell me?
I didn’t know that thing was inside my body.
What now?
She refused to looked at the small child instead felt a sense of dread filled with pain from just apparently going into labor.
How did this happen?
She didn’t even have a stomach to indicate she was pregnant.
“I don’t want that thing near me! I’ll never love that disgusting abomination. A mistake that should have never existed.”
I’ll never be a mother to it.
Follow (Y/N) who is beyond confused with her life at the moment on top of that her baby daddy is a stupid jock. ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂
Material List Coming July 9th!
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Will add more soon.
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If you want to be tagged let me know! Reblogs appreciated!!
@ssuna@cuddlesslut@rinsangel@butterfly235@mizukimisato@horny-inarizaki-stan@jadasz@milkteeboba@underratedmage@sassyglassesbunny
somebody that i used to know
ft. miya atsumu, oikawa tooru, and semi eita
ATSUMU felt terribly desperate. he’s aware of how break ups were meant to hurt—how it’d leave you feeling so numb and void of emotions because everything just felt like it’s closing in on you. it hurts how he realized things wouldn’t be the same as before. there wouldn’t be a beaming smile to greet him nor the face of a lover he’s grown so in love with over the past few years. did it hurt you? he wonders. did it also hurt you when you found yourselves under a raging silence, realizing that you two were no longer together, no longer a couple? he wants to hate you, but believe him when he says he couldn’t find the will anywhere. what happened to having closure? you didn’t have to block his number like that. what happened to all the years of being together then? did that meant nothing to you? it’s such a wonder for him to think about how you two were able to go through a painful break up, yet it looked like he was the only one that suffered so much.
SEMI had been in a state of incredulity. it never really dawned to him how you two were no longer together. all he knew was there were sparking arguments, gazes that burned, and numbing pain that left him leaning against his front door. you’d come back eventually, won’t you? you didn’t mean it when you said we’re through, right? tell him it was a misunderstanding—lie to him, deceive him into believing that there was still love evident in what you two had. when he climbs into your shared bed, hugs your pillow close to his chest, and closes his eyes, would he find you looking at him in adoration the morning after? ah.. maybe he was still in denial. was this even normal? was it normal to feel no pain and instead, feel like your heart had gone numb? maybe that was it. maybe feeling so much pain from your break up had him looking into the void like a blank paper, tears welling up on the sides of his eyes. he’d break anytime soon, but for now, he’d have to process that maybe eventual would never happen. maybe you really did break things through with him and he just refuses to believe it.
OIKAWA wants to place all the blame on you for your break up, but when he sees you closing the door behind you, all the words had gone down—he was to blame. his gaze burned through the door as all the words that bottled up within him became indecipherable, what was he going to say again? i love you? i’m sorry? please come back to me? he always knew he wasn’t one for relationships, he carried a lot of burden from his past and never seemed to let them go. he wants to desperately tie his head around the thought that maybe meeting you made him push his burdens away and live freely without any restriction. and maybe his head was far too wrapped around it—far too gone that he realized amongst the ones he pushed away from his life was the one who made him learn how to fall in love again. so when he snaps from his daze of rainbows and sunshines, he couldn’t help but feel his mouth go dry. why couldn’t he reach for you or even call your name one last time just so he could apologize dearly? maybe he never really let go of his burdens, and instead, bottled them. and in return, it caused him to lose everything, including the love you two once had.
