genshin impact | G | 2478 | [ ao3] side hu tao/xiao | hu tao birthday fic!
every year, hu tao lives her life the way she believes it ought to be lived—loud and outright. even if reincarnation was real, and that one day we might die and then return to the earth once again, we will only ever be living thisvery life once. only once in these special circumstances, with these people, in this environment. it’s not because she fears death—no, it’s exactly because she knows death will come to her in the end that she lives like this.
lives treating the stone lions like they were actual cats.
lives climbing up the treacherous cliffs of huaguang stone forest to write poetry.
lives spooking others, walking late at night along wuwang hill.
hu tao knows death like the back of her hand, which is why life means so much to her. why she lives so much of it.
there is only one year a day when the anxiety is stronger than usual. when hu tao feels like living through these ideals is simply not enough. when she begins to doubt her place among the living, when no funeral pyre of inner demons can clear her head. on this day, on her birthday, it’s the long journey taking her from liyue harbor to the solitary mountains of liyue that truly takes out the storm in her heart, heavy and pounding.
when she can be between the pages of herself, among the voices of people she hopes love her.
-
“going out today, director hu?”
zhongli is, as he usually is at this hour, promptly sitting in the study of the wangsheng funeral parlor, likely just having finished some morning lecture to the undertakers. hu tao hums, whizzing around him as she peers at what book he’s holding. a history on rex lapis.
“no business today, maybe we need to rework our advertising strategy,” she says, straightening her back. “with you here, i get free time to take a walk and think of better marketing tricks.”
“please don’t use me as an excuse to skip work.”
“aiya, what do you think of me? that’s not what i’m doing,” she pouts. then, she points at the book in his hands. “what were you reading?”
“the undertakers were interested in something i said about the themes of death in liyue’s history, and i was merely reviewing my history,” zhongli answers, strangely more somber than usual. “it is mortal to fear death, but it is to go beyond what it means to be mortal to try to comprehend death as greater than something to be afraid of. as with rex lapis, who surely has witnessed a great many losses in his long lifespan.”
“what do you think the divine feel about death, zhongli?” hu tao asks, hands behind her back, looking up at the mysterious man who always seem to know more than he let on. “do you think it still means anything to them, when they live across so much time and space?”
“i think, director hu,” zhongli says, “that every death can still leave its mark. the archons were mortal once, after all. to not fear death does not mean to not honor its rightful weight.”
“hmmm,” hu tao nods, deep in thought. “you may be right.” then, a clock down the hall begins to toll, and she is shaken out of her reverie. “aiya, what time is it! i have to go, thank you for entertaining my question. i’ll see you tomorrow!”
hu tao is just about out of the door when he speaks again.
“director hu?”
she blinks. “yes, mister zhongli?”
he gives a smile that feels like it bears too much memory. “happy birthday.”
hu tao only beams at him, and then hops out of the door.
-
hu tao still remembers the disdainful stares of some of the older, more conservative people of liyue once the kids caught up to her little “hilichurl song.” something about little children chanting about death and murder in such a joyful manner did not sit right with several of the elders. this reflected poorly on hu tao, but—
did it matter?
the kids were—are—having fun, the song is catchy and she wouldn’t be conceited to say that everyone in liyue knows it at this point…
she remembers the little boy who had run up to her, who had returned fresh from a funeral rite up in wangsheng, holding her still-ashen hand saying, “you’re the big sis with the hilichurl song! teach me! teach it to me big sis!”
she remembers being that young.
she doesn’t quite feel like being this old.
the least she can do is immortalize its transcience; she’d write all the poems on death for the living if she had to.
-
she encounters xingqiu, who has obviously just come from his daily perusal of wanwen bookhouse, two books under his arm and another clasped between his fingers. she comes up right up before him and goes—
“xingqiu!”
he doesn’t even flinch, long used to hu tao’s little antics. he finishes reading the paragraph he is on before putting the book down, smiling at her.
“well, what is my liege doing this fine day?”
“oh, i’m off to take an adventurous little walk! what are you up to today, young master?”
the honorifics turned pet names were special little sparkles in their conversation. it had become so normal between them they no longer think about it, but the others who overhear are a little more curious.
“to put a little spice into the lives of a young exorcist and an aspiring cook, would you like to join me?”
were it any other day, hu tao would have said yes. there was nothing quite like getting off work early and messing around with chongyun and xiangling, mixing up the ingredients, activating excess yang energy. but today was not that kind of day, so she shakes her head and gives a little smile at her friend instead.
“not today, unfortunately. but soon, for sure!”
xingqiu nods. but before he leaves, he pulls out a bookmark of pressed silk flowers from behind his back, and hands it to her.
“taken fresh from the wilderness.”
“you mean yujing terrace?”
“where i got it is of no matter—” xingqiu says, stifling a laugh, “but instead what message it brings. may you find good company on this special day of yours, my liege.”
hu tao smiles, the kind that reaches her eyes, the one that so few people see, and then pushes xingqiu lightly down the road toward wanmin.
“go cause trouble!”
-
the first half of the journey is a lot less tricky. at a certain hour every day, without fail, there are wagons that begin their trip from liyue to mondstadt. hu tao usually hitches a ride on one of these all the way to wangshu inn, where she stops for lunch.
wangshu inn has become such a common culprit to their little meetings that no one gets surprised to see her anymore, smiling and waving at everyone all the way upstairs to the top floor. (sometimes she even passes by the kitchen for some almond tofu, but, ah, yanxiao doesn’t really want her using the kitchen, if for the sake of the food she makes.)
today, when she gets there, she finds aether and paimon sitting at the tables at the very bottom, waiting for their meals to be served.
“hu taaaaooooo!” paimon calls and waves, to which she waves in response, hopping up the stairs to get to them.
“if it isn’t the mighty traveler and paimon! my offer for a discount coupon for accidents is still available, if you’ve changed your mind!”
aether ignores the joke entirely—wisely—and asks, “not staying at the parlor today?”
“aiya, does that seem like such a strange occurence? is it wrong for the director of a funeral parlor to catch a break?”
“…from offering discount coupons for parlors?” paimon turns to aether. “and why so far out here of all places?”
the traveler knows. “we haven’t seen him today.”
“do not fret! the ever omniscient hu tao knows exactly where he will be,” she teases. “can i join you for lunch?”
“wait!” paimon whines. “who’s he?”
hu tao orders nothing festive, just some plain snapdragon salad and some fish, but verr goldet hand-delivers a little assorted tray of desserts anyway—red bean soup, mango pudding, custard—all on a celebratory looking plate. she whispers to hu tao: “from the young gentleman.”
and aether’s eyes go wide as plates in realization, but before he can say anything, hu tao hushes him with a finger, not wanting paimon to make a big deal out of it. the traveler only chuckles, paimon neck-deep into a bowl of noodles, and mouths happy birthday while facing the director.
once lunch is over, they talk a little until their stomachs settle with the food, but then they are on each other’s ways. aether and paimon, headed up to mingyun to clear out a camp of hilichurls that have been causing trouble, as commissioned by the guild. hu tao, to qingyun peak, where the clouds can brush over her cheeks.
“are you gonna walk all the way there?”
“oh, it’ll take me just a few hours. i’ll get on any patrolling millelith carts if there are any. i’ll be fine. thank you, traveler!”
“take care, hu tao!” aether calls out. “and send my regards!”
-
“i knew i would find you here,” hu tao says, as she lands ever so gracefully on one of huaguang stone forest’s highest peaks. xiao sits there, cross-legged, with his eyes closed. the exhaustion from the journey sinks into her bones as soon as she sees him, as if knowing she will find rest in him—perhaps the same way the sun has sunk dark blue into the horizon.
“i’m here because i knew you’d be here,” he retorts. not even turning to face her. hu tao sinks wordlessly next to him, her hand on his lap.
she loves the way they fit together like this, two puzzle pieces magnetized to each other.
“thank you for the desserts.”
he places his hand over hers and squeezes.
xiao has never been the type for comforting words. the best he can offer is his understanding silence, the kind that makes hu tao know he can comprehend what is going on in her little, mortal mind–even when she herself is not sure where exactly her thoughts are taking her.
“i wanted to bring you almond tofu, but it would have melted on the way here.”
“you don’t need to worry about me.”
you know i’ll worry about you anyway.
worry about yourself.
i already do, why else do you think i’m here but for rescue?
here in huaguang, the breeze silences everything in her mind that speaks, so that all that remains is this: just her, just xiao, just liyue’s star-dotted night sky.
just good company.
no dead, no ghosts, no demons. just them.
they stay there until time seems like it stops existing.
the thing about xiao and hu tao’s relationship is that somehow they always find each other perfectly as one needs the other. it has always been like that from the beginning. from the very first time hu tao had gotten herself lost around mt. aocang, cornered by a family of geovishaps hell-bent on getting her for disturbing their nap; to when hu tao had found xiao slumped against a tree, bloodied with his mask on his face and near unable to breathe, her presence and stupid humor like exorcising the demons clinging onto him;
they find each other always, as if sensing death on the other, and they come to the rescue.
without even needing to call out each other’s names.
hu tao, leaning against him like deadweight, turns her hand around so they can interlock their fingers together. xiao does so wordlessly, and hu tao memorizes the warmth of him against her skin.
keeps it in the back of her mind for when he isn’t around.
they speak without speaking, passing each other the same old questions like they always do.
what if i die today?
you’re not dying today, hu tao.
what if i die tomorrow?
you’re not dying tomorrow, xiao.
who will take care of you when i am gone?
who will remember huaguang like these, starry nights with our hands clasped together?
who will i come to when i’m in need of aid, when i need someone who sees death as i do?
don’t go, it’s too early to do so.
hu tao only voices out one of many, many thoughts passed between their intertwined hands, when she says, “when death finally comes for me, thousands and thousands of years before yours, adeptus xiao…”
xiao hums.
“remember me?”
he scoffs just the littlest bit and hu tao knows he means always.“rest,” he says, as xiao turns and presses a kiss on the side of her face, tucking a pair of qingxin flowers with braided stalks behind her ear. one he’d made before she’d arrived, prepared to find her in this state.
“for sweet dreams,” he promises.
-
while in his arms hu tao dreams of her grandfather.
she is watching her young, 13 year old self host her grandfather’s funeral, incredibly young and small and out of place in the grandeur. her yéyé liked grandeur, and it was hu tao’s mission that day to make sure that everything about his grand goodbye went the way it was planned.
it was hard.
she was calm, and composed, and so unlike the hu tao the rest of liyue knew that day. she was solemn during the entire ceremony, not a twinge of a smile or a frown on her face, just calm and detached like it wasn’t her grandfather she was preparing to set off. like his hat wasn’t sitting on her desk at home drenched in her tears.
the present, older hu tao looks on to spot the little signs of breaking left unnoticed by everyone else, like the little ticks at the corner of her mouth, her hypercontrolled breathing, the way she squeezes the staff she’s inherited specifically for this day, under her grandfather’s request.
and while the younger hu tao does not catch him, the older hu tao spots her grandfather among the trees, standing there with his hat still on, in his usual garb, the kind that reminds her of chanting poetry in the afternoon and—
—he smiles.
at younger hu tao, then, eventually, at her,older, smarter, more mature hu tao, as if saying:
thank you.
you’ve done so well.
before he disappears into a fog of light.
hu tao does not feel the need to follow.
-
hu tao wakes up in her room in wangsheng funeral parlor smiling, feeling the clouds still on her face, qingxin still in her hair.
