#i am garbage

Me? A good artist? Hahaha, what a fucking lie.

I think even a five year old can outclass me

In someone else’s gutter.

I don’t have a

better self, just

this shitty model

balanced

on a shelf, yet

somehow

I am still

the optimist

even when

I am kicking and

fucking screaming.

—

Things never turn out

the way we wanted them

to, for instance

I am sure you never thought

I’d be sleep walking

cardboard mazes

of tiny screaming faces

night and day,

day and night,

never finding

relief.

—

While it seems true

that I’ve smoked myself

stupid, with me

you’d have drank

yourself to death

and never made it

half this far, and

hey. Now you don’t

have to watch me

die here

—

beneath these paper

sheets, young and

stupid, or

some old genius

it doesn’t matter

anymore.

—

Never has.

This isn’t your gutter.

Not this time.