I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you
What to call their meals. Boromir thinks, if it is eaten at dinnertime, regardless of whether it is the first meal of the day or not, then it is dinner. Sam thinks it isn’t proper to call the first meal of the day dinner. Aragorn suggests they combine the two words but now everyone is fighting over whether it should be called breakfast-dinnner or dinner-breakfast. The fight nearly becomes physical
Whether Legolas or Gimli is winning their daily argument with eachother
If hobbits are regular sized and everyone else is really big, or if everyone else is regular sized and hobbits are small
The same as above except with horses and ponies
If Gimli’s beard is real or not. This one started as a joke between Merry and Pippin but then Legolas saw how mad it made Gimli and so continues to bring it up
Inter-hobbit fighting about whether it is called pot-ae-toes, pot-ah-toes, or taters
“Can Legolas really talk to trees, or is he just fucking with us?” Aragorn and Gandalf refuse to weigh in on this
Whether the Ent-draught caused Merry and Pippin to grow or if they just did that on their own. This fight is Pippin vs. Everyone Else
Whether the non-hobbits of the Fellowship would be Tooks, Brandybucks, or Bagginses. This argument is unintelligible to most of them, although Gandalf has the knowledge to be offended when Pippin suggests he would be a Took.
“What would happen if someone ate the ring?”
Fights over whether the elves, the dwarves, or the hobbits tell the story of the reclaiming of Erebor most accurately. Even though Gandalf was there, he just shrugs when anyone asks him
Which variety of pipeweed is the best kind. Merry threatened Gimli to a duel over this one
i would buy officially licensed tumblr shoelaces staff really missed out on a golden opportunity with their new merch store
tumblr is a site that, by tradition, you do not discuss using in public, let alone plaster on your body. however the subtlety of shoelaces combined with the comedy of the Bit would make that specific item worth it
star wars is best in an animated format simply because they never have the budget for loose hair and that’s how you get tons of female characters with short/no hair
these are designs you just don’t get in live action or higher budget animation. not a beach wave in sight
Because all their loose hair budget was spent on that one loose strand of Obi Wan’s hair that defined my sexuality that gets animated in the later seasons.
Well of course Obi-Wan’s lock of hair gets lovingly animated. He is the Disney Princess of the group. He deserves some hair porn shots after the crap Dave Filoni Anakin puts him through
women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open
If your modern Javert Derailed AU doesn’t feature him downloading the Reddit app in a fugue state and posting, unedited, the longest and most controversial inquiry r/AmItheAsshole has ever seen, dni
This is the funniest Les Mis shitpost I’ve seen in a while
Why is this not on the post itself???
Im crying rn
#someone funnier than me needs to come up with the post title
“AITA for pledging myself to the law?” and then you see the post preview & the first sentence is like “The criminal fugitive (62M) who for 17 years has evaded justice and hounded my (52M) existence has just saved me from being executed by college students”
