#i could rework this again

Day Two:

This is going to be similar to last year in that I am stringing the days together to make a longer love story that takes place over several years.  You have Em to thank for that.  And also for the tattoos.

So I suppose that these are dedicated to her.

Indelible

“How was your exam today?”

Matthew looked wryly over his shoulder at him.

“Let’s just say that this hurts less.”

Gilbert snorted and focused on the tattoo unfolding under his hands.  

That single line from a year ago had become a brilliant array of stained glass pieces that crawled up his arm.  It was hard to see the pattern at first but the pieces started to come together into colourful birds on his upper arm before the stained glass exploded into feathers and more realistic birds as the tattoo looped around to his shoulder blade.

Gilbert was working on a dove at the moment.  

“That good, huh?”

“Worse.”

“Have you decided what you want to major in yet?”

Matthew tensed underneath his hands and Gilbert studied what he could see of his face.  He looked pinched.  Worried.

Gilbert put down the tattoo gun and wiped the fresh ink and blood with a disposable towel.

“Well, I don’t know…”

“It sounds like you have some idea.”

“I just…” Matthew turned a little more now that he had stopped tattooing and frowned at him.  “It’s not a…”

He looked so upset that Gilbert wanted to brush the curls off his forehead, he wanted to soothe the worried wrinkles between his eyebrows with a kiss, but he clamped down on the instinct.  He was not his boyfriend; he was just his friend.  His best friend.  His roommate.

It would be unfair to take advantage of that.

“It’s not a…  I don’t think my parents would…”

“What do you want to do?”  Gilbert prodded gently.

“I want tobeanurse,” he said in a rush, the words slurring together.  “I want to be a nurse.  But I don’t think my parents would approve.”

“Why not?”

“Well, it’s not very masculine, is it?”

“… Does that matter?”

“It does to them.”

Gilbert thought back to a lifetime of his neighbours praising Alfred for his interest in cars, sports, and women while putting Matthew down.  He read too much, he was always so quiet, he never went out…  ‘Gardening is for girls.’  ‘Baking is for girls, Matthew.’  ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother?’

He had not realized how much of it Matthew had internalized even after a year of living together.

“I think you would make a fantastic nurse,” he said decisively.  

“But…”

“Nurses are hardcore, man.  They’re always covered in blood and shit and vomit but they still smile at every little kid who comes in.  They can lift people twice their size.  They play with needles for fun.”  Gilbert grinned and covered his hand with his own.  “It doesn’t matter what your parents think.  It matters what you think.  But I’ll be behind you no matter what you choose to do.”

Matthew started to tear up.  He twisted around and gestured impatiently to his shoulder.

“Keep going so I have an excuse to cry,” he mumbled.

Gilbert picked up the tattoo gun again.

“Alright.”

Matthew slammed the door open and flounced into the tattoo parlour with a letter clasped in his hand.  Gilbert dropped his appointment book in surprise.

“I did it!  I did it!  I got in!”

“Shhh,” he hissed. “Holy shit, Matthew.  What if someone had been in the back?”

“Oh.  Right.”  He did not sound apologetic at all.  “I’m just really, really excited!”

“Sooo…?” Gilbert picked the book up, threw it on the pile, and walked around the counter.  He raised his arms like a returning hero and grinned when Matthew rushed into them.  He spun Gilbert around in his excitement.

“Thank you! Thank you for talking me into it!”

“It’s official then?”

“I’m a nursing student!”

Gilbert felt his chest swell with pride as Matthew giggled and spun him around and around and around.  He knew that his classes would be difficult and that Matthew still needed to tell his parents but it had been weeks since Matthew had sounded so carefree.

“Now we both get to play with needles!”

Matthew laughed and kissed him on both cheeks.

“Bend over.”

“Are you coming on to me?”

“N-n-no,” Gilbert stuttered, blushing.  “You need to lean forward if we’re going to tattoo your back!”

“Oh,” Matthew took off his sweater and leaned so that he was straddling the back of the chair. His broad shoulder curled forward with the movement.  His muscles stretched.  “That’s too bad.”

Gilbert blinked.

“Do…  Did you want me to come on to you?!”

“Yes.  No.  I don’t know!”

Gilbert began washing and shaving the area as an excuse to keep his hands occupied.  He tried to avoid dragging his fingers over his spine or lower.  He swallowed.

But Matthew must have been embarrassed too because there was a flush spreading down the back of his neck and across the top of his shoulders.  

It was distracting.

“I, uhm, I… You?  Do you…?  I didn’t think…”

“You never asked… I didn’t think…”

The flush on his back was creeping further down his spine.  It was warm beneath his hands and Gilbert could feel nervous laughter clawing up his throat.  Shit.  Fuck.  Why did he have to be shirtless for this conversation?  

“I think I’ve always…”

“Always?!”

“Since we were teenagers.”

“But you never…”

“You were younger than me,” Gilbert explained.  “And then I went away to college and you seemed even younger than before.  And then you moved in with me and I didn’t want to take advantage of you.”

“Iwanted you to take advantage of me!”

Gilbert gulped.

“Why don’t we, uh, start smaller.  Like your tattoo.  We can, uhm, go on a date.”

“And see where it goes from there?”

“Just like your tattoo.”