#i feel kind of lost
A guide meeting, Persephone left
It’s been a while since I actually wrote on what’s going on and I gotta say I’m confused. A few days ago I was watching TV when I heard some weird creaking noise, when I looked around I saw one of Persephone’s jars fell over and then a few second later the other one followed. I said ok and got up and lit her a tea light and it burned for 6 hours…. A tea light!!
Then yesterday I felt weird, I’m not sure how else to describe it, and I told my husband I felt like Persephone didn’t want to work with me anymore. He asked me why and I said I wasn’t sure, a little while later I was standing in front of my altar looking at it and he asked me if he thought it was because my friend (who isn’t a witch) would leave offerings for both Hades and Persephone. I thought for a second and responded I didn’t know and I’d have to go into the astral to talk with them.
Last night after my husband went to sleep, I decided to project. When I got there Ezilion, Persephone and Hades were all waiting there. For the first time in a while I was a little nervous to be in the astral.
H: Good, you finally got the message.
E: I keep telling you she’s not the brightest
I stood there for a second and Persephone smiled somberly and walked towards me and grabbed my hand leading me away from the others. We walked hand in hand for a while in silence and she brought me to the little meadow she made me. We sat in silence for what felt like forever until I decided to break it
Me: did I do something wrong?
She smiled and let out a jolly laugh that made me feel giddy
P: no child, you did nothing wrong, but I do think you have outgrown what I can teach you.
Me: but that means you’ll leave right? I don’t want you to leave.
She placed a hand on my head and smiled at me again
P: I will always be with you even when you can’t feel me there.
I was worried. The last deity that had helped me through something major in my life, left without a word and I don’t feel her at all anymore.
Me: is it because my friend left you things?
P: no child, your friend leaving offerings wasn’t the issue. You have learned what I needed you to learn about yourself.
Me: what was the lesson? I don’t feel like I’ve learned anything new…
P: Self love. Balance. Duality. Strength. Feminity. Child, you have learned much in our time together.
Me: but, I still need you, especially for all of those things!
I started feeling distressed and could feel myself almost lose the connection, she placed a hand on my shoulder and calmed me.
Me: I need you because I’m still not strong enough….
P: you have been through so much and came out with self respect and confidence. That’s all I could teach you at this time, child I do not mean I will stay away forever but until you need that extra push again, I will be gone. You may deconstruct my side of the altar, just don’t forget me or my lessons.
I just stared at her, I felt like I had let her down. Hades began walking toward us and I felt my heart drop.
H: I, however, will be here with the dragon, you still have much to work on and learn.
I felt a wave of relief honestly.
Me: for how long?
H: until you have learned what I need you to. I see talent in you for a path you’ve yet to discover or fear to walk down.
Me: which is?
I began getting impatient and felt like it was all a big joke at my expense.
Hades let out a hearty chuckle.
H: in do time child. In due time.
I felt the ground shake as Ezilion tromped towards us, he blew a ring of smoke and knocked me back into my bed where I tossed and turned dreaming about being left alone in a field.
I feel so empty currently, I can feel Persephone but not as strongly as I did before. Ezilion is going to be here to stay (no matter what) but I’m not sure how much time or even what I’m supposed to learn from Hades… I guess time will tell.
