#i hate it so much

Soha többé nem akarom

In the second episode of series six Charlie did run over to Tommy when he got home. But I hate how Tommy didn’t give him a big massive hug like he did Ruby. He also still had to have his arm round Ruby when he said hello to Charlie.

I HATE IT!

I wish that when Polly visited Tommy in his dreams she had kicked his arse about not loving Charlie.

I hate how it’s because she didn’t love Charlie and only loved that fucker Ruby.

I hate how Charlie was only loved in season three.

I hate how Ruby still got carried when she was 7 because Charlie didn’t when he was that age. Charlie hasn’t been carried since he was two.

The fact that Charlie would rather live with Lizzie than Tommy proves that Tommy has never loved him.

It upsets me so much because Tommy adores Ruby and has been an amazing dad to her.

I hate how he doesn’t adore Charlie the way he adores Ruby.

I hate how nobody loves Charlie.

I hate how Charlie was only loved in season three. After that nobody loved him or cared about him and he had to look after himself and he never had any toys.

I hate how he’s never had teddies like fuck face Ruby always has.

Tommy still wears the personalised wedding ring he had when he was married to Grace round his neck.

He also still has a lock of her hair after all this time.

So why does he hate the son that he had with her?

Why doesn’t he love him the way he loves that fucking daughter of his?

I’ve just been to pick up a prescription from out of hours and I saw this little boy who only looked about 2. So he was a lot younger than fucking Ruby. His temperature was so high all his hair was wet. Only his mum was with him. His dad wasn’t there.

Tommy rushed home from parliament to be with fucking Ruby when her temperature was really high.

He was also screaming at the doctors that he needs to be with his daughter.

I hate how he wouldn’t be like that if it was Charlie.

He did nothing to get Charlie back when he was kidnapped. He made his family do it all.

Ruby Shelby has the best dad in the world.

But this amazing daddy is an absolutely awful one to his son.

WHY CANT HE LOVE BOTH OF HIS KIDS THE SAME?

I feel so thick and stupid thinking that Tommy has ever loved Charlie.

Charlie has been neglected since season 4. It was only in season 3 when he was a baby that he was treated nicely.

I hate how Ruby is everywhere and everyone loves her. I’m sick of seeing the spoilt fucking bitch.

I hate how Charlie has never been spoilt.

I hate how I’m the only fan who cares about Charlie and probably the only person in the world who does.

I rewatched a Peaky Blinders scene today. It was episode 2 of season 4.

It was the beginning when they were back in Small Heath.

Charlie was asleep in bed in Tommy’s old room and I’m really upset because he didn’t have a teddy in bed with him or anything.

Ruby always had loads of teddies.

I hate how Charlie has never had any toys.

Also Tommy wasn’t sitting by his bed and stroking his hair and kissing his hand like he did with Ruby.

He wasn’t even looking at him.

I hate how Tommy has never looked at Charlie.

I HATE HOW CHARLIE HAS NEVER BEEN LOVED THE WAY RUBY IS AND HAS HAD TO LOOK AFTER HIMSELF FROM A VERY YOUNG AGE

I’m worried about my parents friends staying this weekend because I’m scared that there going to say that this series of Peaky Blinders was far better than the others.

I’m scared that they are going to say that Tommy with his little girl was so beautiful. I don’t want people thinking like that because I wish that Charlie was loved the same way.

This couple only have one child. A daughter. I’m scared that especially the man will be saying that about Tommy and his little girl. They also have two grand daughters as well.

I wish that Charlie was loved the way Ruby is. I don’t want to hear it’s because he’s a boy because all children need love.

I hate how Charlie has never had the loving relationship with his dad that Ruby has.

Tommy looks so fatherly and I wish that he adored Charlie the way he adores Ruby.

I hate how he doesn’t care about him because he’s a boy and he reminds him of Grace.

I hate how Tommy wouldn’t care if Charlie died.

I hate how Tommy said that he misses the weight of carrying Ruby. Because he has never carried Charlie. Except when he was a baby.

I hate how Tommy only loved Charlie in season three and never loved him after that.

My dad is a complete twat because he doesn’t care about Charlie. He told me that he doesn’t give a fuck.

I’m also a girl and my dad has never been protective of me and has always wanted me having boyfriends. All the dads never want their daughters to have boyfriends.

Tommy never wants Ruby to have a boyfriend.

But he hates Charlie because he has no friends and is never going to get a girlfriend.

Even in season three when Tommy loves Charlie he wasn’t as upset when he was kidnapped as he was about Ruby being ill and dying. He didn’t throw up about it like he did over Ruby.

Charlie is such a gorgeous little boy and I wish that he had the love and affection of his father that Ruby has.

The fact that Charlie would rather live with Lizzie then Tommy was the final straw for me. That last episode proved that Tommy has never loved Charlie.

Why has Tommy been a perfect dad to Ruby but an awful one to Charlie?

When other men have lost the love of their life they absolutely dote on the children they have had with them. So why doesn’t Tommy dote on Charlie?

Why did Tommy hate it when Charlie asked for him one morning and not Grace?

I hate how at the meal everyone was horrible to Charlie and someone walked past him and hit him. I hate how they don’t all adore him like they adore fucking Ruby.

I’m scared that if Grace hadn’t died she wouldn’t of loved Charlie the way Lizzie loves Ruby.

I hate how Tommy has never shown Charlie off and held him high in the air like he did to Ruby at the end of season four. I hate how Charlie was with Polly and not with his dad.

I hate how Tommy has never shown Charlie off and nobody has ever made a fuss of Charlie.

I hate how Charlie has never been picked up.

I hate how Charlie had to look after himself when he was only three.

I hate how Charlie has never been carried like Ruby always has.

I hate how the only time Tommy kissed Charlie was when he got him back after being kidnapped.

I hate how he’s always kissing fucking Ruby.

Why has Steven Knight made up a little boy who nobody loves?

I’ve always hated Grace. But she is the only person who has ever loved Charlie. But she doesn’t love him as much as Lizzie loves Ruby.

I hate how Charlie has never had parental love and he’s always had to watch everyone adoring and worshiping his sister.

He has to watch that bitch sitting on her gorgeous little chair that is like a throne.

I hate how Charlie has never had a gorgeous little chair.

I hate how Charlie has never had any toys.

WHY CANT CHARLIE BE LOVED?

I hate it when there’s two kids in the same family and one is neglected and abused and the other is adored and worshiped.

I want Charlie to be carried by his gorgeous daddy.

I want Charlie to be kissed and cuddled by his gorgeous daddy.

I got worried seeing them talk about the downton Abbey movie on the news. Because when the Peaky Blinders movie is realised their going to be talking about that.

I hate how it will show the ending scene of Tommy with fucking Ruby.

I HATE HOW HE DOESNT LOVE CHARLIE THE SAME WAY!

He’s always desperate to have fucking Ruby in his arms. WHY HASN’T HE EVER BEEN DESPERATE TO HAVE CHARLIE IN HIS ARMS?

All he’s ever done to Charlie is leave him on his own and never spent any time with him.

I hate how he only loved Charlie in season three.

I hate how how he’s never carried him or hugged him or kissed him since season three.

I HATE HOW HE DOESN’T ADORE HIM THE WAY HE ADORES RUBY

Charlie would rather live with his step mother then his dad. That proves that his dad has never loved him.

I hate how Tommy won’t let Frances give Charlie any love.

I don’t want them to make that fucking film.

I hate how there will just be flashbacks of Ruby all the way through it.

I hate how Tommy wouldn’t care if Charlie died.

I hate how everyone on that show hates Charlie.

I hate how at the last supper someone walked past the table and hit Charlie.

I hate how Charlie isn’t loved the way Ruby is.

I hate how Tommy doesn’t love Charlie attall.

I hate how Tommy has never loved Charlie the way he loves Ruby.

I will always hate how Tommy didn’t even hug Charlie goodbye.

Peaky Blinders series six has added to the illness I have. It’s upset me so much because nobody loves Charlie.

I hate how he’s never been loved the way Ruby is.

I hate how nobody cares about how much this has affected me.

Everyone just laughs at me and refuses to talk to me about it.

Some even say that I’m stupid for thinking Charlie isn’t loved. But they don’t tell me about how he is loved the way Ruby is. They just get angry with me and tell me I’m not right in the head.

Charlie was only loved in series three. I wish that people could tell me something about him being loved in series 4 and 5.

I hate the way he was treated in series six. I hate how Tommy hates him and is abusive to him. I wish that Tommy loved Charlie the way he loves Ruby.

I wish I could see Charlie being loved when he’s big like Ruby. But I hate how he was only loved as a baby.

I’m also really scared because of my illness and I hate how the bleeding won’t stop.

I hate hearing about MPs now because it just makes me think of Tommy being an MP and everyone loving him and loving how he loves his little girl.

I hate how nobody cares that he doesn’t love Charlie.

I hate how nobody in parliament know that he even has a son.

They all just love fucking Ruby.

I hate how nobody would care if Charlie died and Charlie has never been allowed to be a child.

Charlie has had to look after himself since he was three.

Lizzie has never looked after him. She just sees him as company now Ruby is dead.

It gets to me that you never see Charlie playing with toys or running round like kids do.

He’s always had to just sit there and never had any toys or anything.

I hate how Ruby has always had millions of toys.

I hate how you never see Charlie playing.

You only ever saw him with toys in season three.

I hate how Tommy has never treated Charlie like a kid and has always treated him like an adult.

I hate hate how nothing nice comes up when I Google Charlie Shelby.

I hate how horrible things come up.

I hate how Tommy has never loved him and has never wanted him around.

I hate how Tommy doesn’t care weather Charlie lives or dies.

I hate how I’m the only fan who cares about Charlie.

I really hate the way Tommy kept hugging Ruby when he arrived home from Boston.

I hate how he didn’t treat Charlie the same way.

Even when Charlie ran over to him he ignored him.

I’ve just read a horrible fanfic of Tommy hating Charlie.

I hate how he has always hated him.

Watching that last meal scene in the final episode I hate yet again the threatening way Tommy talks to Charlie.

I hate how he keeps saying to him you hear me.

I WISH THAT HE LOVED CHARLIE THE WAY HE LOVES RUBY

I feel so stupid not noticing the signs in other series of Charlie not being loved.

He never had any toys and there was toys everywhere once Ruby was born.

In the very last moment in series four when Tommy had just been elected an MP Charlie was walking with Polly and wasn’t with his daddy.

Lizzie was stood there waiting with Ruby and Tommy lifted Ruby high in the air to show her off. He’s never shown Charlie off. He also had that big smile on his face. He has never smiled at Charlie like that.

Charlie was still with Polly. It was like he wasn’t a member of the TommyLizzieRuby family.

All through series five you only ever saw Ruby playing with toys. Charlie has never had any.

Ruby ran up to Tommy in the first episode. Charlie has never done that.

After Tommy had rescued Charlie from the land mines he made him walk back to the house on his own.

Then in the last episode of series five Tommy didn’t go to Charlie’s violin concert.

I wish that someone could tell me why hasn’t Tommy ever smiled at Charlie the way he is always smiling at Ruby?

Looking back at old scenes it upsets me that Tommy has never smiled at Charlie the way he’s always smiled at Ruby.

I can safely say that he’s never smiled at Charlie.

Voragine. Annaspo alla ricerca di aria come fossi costantemente sott'acqua senza capire che la vera marea che mi sommerge sono i pensieri.

~ Piuma

khorazir:

tolkienillustrations:

I recently reblogged this post about anti-racism and got this reply from a user named folksol: 

If anyone doesn’t think there’s racism in this fandom, here’s your wake-up call.

This person not only believes that the majority of my followers are far right, they alsobelieve that I - despite clearly loathing the far right - should cater to their horrific ideology. This is some peak white racist delusion right here. I laughed out loud. I’m still laughing at the phrasing of it. “Excuse me.” Oh, are you clutching your pearls? Are you upset because I reblogged an anti-racist post on my own blog during a worldwide uprising against racism? “We, your followers” - as if this person is my constituent to whom I am somehow beholden. I guess they didn’t read my about page, which clearly tells white supremacists they are not welcome here. 

In case anyone thinks folksol is trolling, I’m sad to say they’re not. Unfortunately, for those who are unaware, there is a long history of the far right trying to claim Tolkien for themselves the same way that the Nazis tried to claim Norse mythology and Viking symbols. And this is not a one time occurence on this blog. I’ve also received messages from other white supremacists who are upset that I’m talking about racial justice and think my blog is for them. While the far right is by no means a majorityof the Tolkien fandom, some of them are obviously here. Which means it’s our job to kick them out.

I’m not sure why I should need to explain this to anyone, but Tolkien hated the Nazis and he hated apartheid. If you are a member of the far right or similar groups he would have hated you too. It’s laughably uninformed for the far right to act like Tolkien is “theirs.” He hated you pieces of shit! So do I! And I’d venture a guess that so do the majority of my followers. 

Of course, Tolkien’s opposition to Nazism and apartheid doesn’t absolve him of holding internalized racist beliefs. It’s important for white people to recognize that racism exists on a spectrum. On one extreme we have people like the Nazis and the KKK, who overtly support racism. But white people who repudiate these groups can still hold racist views. (For more information, here’s Tolkien Gateway’s article Racism in Tolkien’s Works, andOur Failure to Address LOTR’s Racism written by @weirdnaturalscience​.) The post I linked to at the top has resources for examining your own biases.

When discussing racism in Tolkien’s works, or racism in fandom, it’s important for white people to have an open mind, not get defensive, and to listen to people of color. No one is saying you can’t be a fan of Tolkien, only that Tolkien’s opposition to the Nazis didn’t stop him from incorporating some worrying tropes in his writing. It’s possible to incorporate racist ideas in writing without intending to do so. 

I also want to say that when we kick the far right out of the fandom, we can’t consider the job done. Because it’s not just the far right. If we have people in fandom who overtlysupport racism, then we also have people in fandom on other parts of that racist spectrum. In fandom spaces Black people and other people of color are frequently harassed, trolled, and excluded, and often white fans refuse to believe or listen to their experiences of racism.

Let’s do better, Tolkien fans! We need to listen to and include fans of color and educate ourselves about internalized racism so that fandom can be an enjoyable place for everyone. (Everyone except the far right.)

This is important. @diversetolkien has good stuff about Tolkien and racism, too.

Oh, and if any right-wing so-called Tolkien fans are following me on tumblr or elsewhere, piss off. I remember the thinly veiled racist bullshit some of you felt entitled to tweet about one of my drawings, “Tolkien on the Tube”, because it depicts diverse readers of his books.

dingdongyouarewrong:

niemcycle:

dingdongyouarewrong:

bananabreadaerith:

dingdongyouarewrong:

just remembered the abortion episode of doctor who. with the moon egg. what the fuck was up with that

THE WHAT

there was this episode of doctor who where they realize the moon, like the moon in the fucking sky, is actually an egg, and some creature is going to hatch from it. and they’re like oh my god, what!! if this moon-egg hatches, it could kill everyone on earth! we should blow up the unborn moon egg!! and then they have this whole debate about whether it’s ethical to kill the moon fetus because it might destroy the earth or let the moon fetus hatch because life is precious. so then they’re like….. it’s humanity’s egg. #myeggmychoice. we should let humanity decide. so then humanity all votes on it and they’re like yeah, let’s blow up the moon so it doesn’t kill us. because fucking duh.

and then even though humanity wanted to kill the unborn egg fetus, the doctor’s friends decide at the last minute that they have a moral imperative to let the moon fetus egg hatch because, and i quote, “we can’t kill a baby!” and they disregard humanity’s wishes and the egg fetus is born. and the doctor is like ‘you did the right thing (:’ 

fucking….. bizarre, tbh

And then the Moon Baby immediately lays another egg in the exact shape and size as the previous moon-egg, then leaves.

thanks, moon-baby!!!

I’d like everyone who hasn’t watched Doctor Who and now feels discouraged to know that his is literally the worst episode of the entire show. That’s it, that’s the lowest point of it. Please don’t be discouraged by the bullshit moon egg, I swear the majority of the show is good.

I hate myself

I hate the way I look, maybe my bones are not mean to walk on this earth

Point the light at me, but I’m still drowning on this dirty air

I hate my voice, because I can’t never put out my words

I hate my face, I wish I could replace myself, I need to erase this embrace that’s been made off who I’m supposed to be

I hate my legs, they’ve carried me to all the places that broke me, and they put me in so much pain

I hate the way my height can’t conceal, maybe if I was taller I’d find my place

Overall, maybe I just hate myself, because I’m not who I wish I were, and I hate who they want me to be and I don’t know what’s best for me

Just hang me up on the wall, so you can examine and find whatever you want to see, and keep ignoring how I feel

I feel they’ve failed me, but maybe I’m the one who was never here

can you hear me?, do you know how to please the monster inside me?

Get rid of me, bury me, I’ve always been nowhere and anywhere.