#idc if you rb
I know I deleted the previous post but tbh the feelings in it still stands. So I’ve pretty much decided I’m going to take a permanent break from tumblr. I just f eel like I’m walking on glass on this site nowadays anyways. I can’t even properly just leave the anti community while on here cuz Io and Io’s stans decided that wasn’t enough. They gotta just constantly monitor my blog too. If I wanted constant thought policing and borderline stalking I would’ve just stayed in the JW org.
So I’ve decided I’m leaving. Maybe then if I leave for a long amount of time and people still keep sending aggressive asks over the callout y’all will realize you really can’t in it all on me anymore. I genuinely regret letting Breeze and Luci be su crits/antis f or so long. I conjoin the two labels because let’s be real the SU crit community was kinda just another subset of the anti community. Because the SU crit community ended up being a pipeline for the anti community f or Breeze and Luci.
I have also not been lying about any of my minority labels but I know that trying to convince people who believe the callouts of that is like explaining it to a rock.
I genuinely regret the time Breeze and Luci spent in those communities. I think the most the system got out of it was like learning more about proper socialism. But tbh the end of the day I wish they’d learned about it through the socialism subculture in the anti anti community instead. And this isn’t me saying I’m going back to the anti anti community now. I”m just leaving the idea of internet communities in general right now.
Especially for the reasons I talked about in the briefly posted vent post. I’d always had issues with a lot of the ways antis handled certain things. And this whole situation has just heavily highlighted them to me finally. I’m neither an anti nor an anti anti, I’m just me. Incredibly disillusioned by the idea of solidarity in internet communities.
But I can’t help but feel bitter about letting Breeze and Luci waste so much time we coulda spent on recovery in the anti community. Because looking back on it we sure weren’t gonna get it there. I feel like if they’d learned the full extent of how we got groomed as a kid we would’ve been shamed out just for that by the majority of antis. Especially since that is partly happening right now with Eula calling us a pro shipper. I’m only gonna stick around for a bit longer to delete some drafts and that’s about it.
I really should’ve had Breeze listen to Best when he warned them to not join the anti community. He was kind of right!
Anyways it finish this off I don’t really care how me announcing I’m leaving soon is handled. I don’t even care if actually self identifying anti antis use this as proof of how toxic the anti community. I just hope that Abacus gets me before I’m done with/by the time I”m done with deleting drafts from this account and unfollowing tons of blogs.
I just wish I’d realized sooner that the majority of antis would indeed demonize systems that have villain alters like me in them. And tbh I have to wonder how much of the hate towards Luci is coming from that more than anything else too.
Again I don’t want any pity or people telling me not to take a permanent break after I’m done deleting drafts and unfollowing blogs. I’ve pretty much made up my mind right now.
Cuz if I’m the one who’s stuck being system host than I get to make this cursed system take a permanent break from this site. AND I get to make sure Breeze and Luci don’t go back to being antis. I’m done.
