#idk what that ending was but anyways

Aroace Remus headcanons <3

Note: This is based on a queer headcanon promt for aroace Remus, and in this he uses He/they pronouns and is a cupioromantic and polyaffectionate (maybe bi oriented aroace as well but you all can decide upon that for yourselves). In summary, this is just aroace Remus wanting a relationship and getting advice from Regulus. I really enjoyed writing this as well as addressing the arospec struggle of wanting an intimate relationship but not having romantic attraction at all or often (honestly this isn’t talked about enough). If you all have any queer headcanon prompt ideas feel free to let me know and also I am not proof reading this :)

• Remus had known for a while that he was aroace, and was perfectly fine with it too. He was definitely really confident in their identity and all of his friends were really supportive too
• They were proud to identify as aroace even if a lot of people disliked it
• They still had close relationships with others- just not romantically of course. He had Sirius and Lily, two people they felt very close with and knew he could trust with almost anything. They were his closest friends and he cared for them a lot
• Usually he’d be fine with the idea of not being in a relationship with someone else, but other times the idea of never having a partner upset them
• He wanted to be really close to someone like that, to have someone to go to for emotional support, kisses and cuddles, and even just have someone that cares about them deeply
• The thought of never being able to have that with someone else saddened him
• They wondered why he couldn’t simply do those things with friends, and why it always seemed like they were something only romantic partners could do
• I mean why couldn’t you cuddle with your closest friends and rant to them when you’re mad or live with them in a little cottage together and just spend your days with them and it still be platonic?
• Eventually Remus decided to talk about how he felt with a friend of theirs that was also aroacespec
• Regulus is an asexual demiromantic, and doesn’t exactly have romantic attraction often since he usually doesn’t get very close to people. They’ve known for quite a while that he was aroacespec and Remus figured that they might be able to give him some advice
• “My problem is I do want to be in a relationship but I’m aroace and don’t have romantic attraction to people.” Remus wasn’t even sure if that made sense. I mean weren’t aroace people supposed to dislike the idea of relationships like that?
• “So you’re a cupioromantic?” Regulus asked him. They honestly weren’t really sure about what it actually meant.
• “What does that mean?”
• “It’s like the aromantic version of cupiosexual. It means you don’t have romantic attraction but would like to be in a romantic relationship.”
• “That’s a thing?!” It never really occurred to him that other aroace people might feel that way too. Maybe they were a cupioromantic
• “Yep, plenty of arospec people want relationships and are cupio. That’s part of the reason why queer platonic relationships are a thing. I’m actually in one myself.”
• “A queer platonic- what?”
• “A queer platonic relationship. It’s a relationship that’s not quite a platonic friendship but not exactly a romantic relationship either. They’re very open and broad and each couple can really set whatever boundaries and rules they want for themselves. For example, my partner and I cuddle and spend a fair amount of time with one another, and care about each other a lot, but aren’t exactly romantically attracted to each other. These types of things can really vary for different people. Some enjoy doing sexual things with their partners, while some don’t even like physical affection like kissing. Queer platonic relationships allow people to have what some call "platonic partners” and have a relationship with them.“
• Remus really had to think about that for a minute. So he could have a relationship with someone even if they’re aroace. He really liked liked the idea of QPRs even with what little they knew about them, and honestly, he kind of wanted one.
• "How do you know if you like someone in that way?”
• “Once again, it can just depend on the person. For me, I knew I really enjoyed my partner’s company and wanted to do typically romantic things with them. And for them, they knew they’re really liked me, but in more of a platonic way than a romantic one.”
• Remus immediately thought of Sirius and Lily. Perhaps he liked them like that. I mean, they do really love their company and always feels safe around them. Not to mention he absolutely loved the idea of living with them and spending a lot of time with them
• “Well what if I wanted to be in a relationship like that with someone? Would they have to be arospec too? And how would I even ask them to be my partner?”
• “I mean if you want to be in a qpr just find a person that you’d like to be partners with I guess. And no, not necessarily. Plenty of people in qprs are arospec and aspec but that definitely doesn’t mean they have to be. I mean, I’m a demiromantic and can have romantic attraction and I’m in one. And all you really have to do is ask like you would with a romantic relationship and make sure they have a clear understanding of what they’re getting themself into”
• Now Remus had another question in mind. Could they have more than one qpp? I mean he did think of both Lily and Sirius when considering potential partners, but would they be able to a qpr with both of them?
• “Is there by any chance I could have more than one queer platonic partner?”
• “If you want to and both of your partners are comfortable with it, then yes. I mean my partner is polyaffectionate and has another platonic partner other than myself. We’re all three fine with it and have boundaries set and we’re all comfortable with it.”
• “And polyaffectionate means?”
• “It’s kind of like the queer platonic version of polyamorous. People who are polyam sometimes want multiple different romantic relationships and can have attraction to multiple people at once, while polyaffectionate people want multiple intimate platonic relationships like queer platonic ones and can like multiple people like that,”
• Remus spent the next few weeks thinking about what Regulus had told him. They questioned whether they were polyaffectionate or not and eventually came to the conclusion that he was both aroace and polyaffectionate. Both labels fit him well and they enjoyed knowing that he wasn’t the only person that felt this way.
• He finally decided to stop putting off something they had been wanting to do for the last week or so. He was going to come out as polyaffectionate to Lily and Sirius and ask them to be in a queer platonic relationship with them
• Coming out was the easy part, he knew their friends would love and accept him no matter what. Asking them to be their queer platonic partners on the otherhand was not something they were looking forward to. He worried they wouldn’t take the idea seriously and would assume he wanted to be with them romantically and weren’t actually aroace
• One evening he found them talking in the Gryffindor common room and asked if they could talk to them privately. Of course they agreed and the three of them decided to talk under a tall tree out on the grounds
• “I have something to tell you guys,” Lily and Sirius could tell Remus was pretty nervous, and both tried ro sound calm and caring
• “You can tell us anything Rem,” Sirius assured him
• “Yep” Lily grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly, trying to comfort him a bit
• “I- I’m polyaffectionate. I mean I’m still aroace too but I want to be in queer platonic relationships and want to have more than just one of them.”
• “Oh I’ve heard of that before. That’s really cool Remus,” Lily gave them a little hug and then Sirius did the same.
• “Thanks for telling us Rem,” Now that was out of the way. Time for the more difficult part
• “I also wanted to ask you both something,” They both gave him a little nod, encouraging them to continue
• “I was wanting to know if maybe you guys would like to be in a queer platonic relationship with me? I mean of course only if you two are both comfortable with it and stuff.”
• “Of course! Well at least I do. I mean we’ve pretty much been in one for years anyways Moony.” Remus was really surprised to hear Sirius say that.
• “I’d like to too, but only if James is comfortable with it since we’re dating now. I don’t see why he wouldn’t though since we’re both polyam.” Lily smiled at him and Remus started to to tear up
• “Really? I didn’t think you two would want to.”
• “Well we do.” Sirius grabs one of his hands and Lily grabs the other.
• They walk back to the Gryffindor common together and ask James if he’s comfortable with it, and of course he is
• Then Remus becomes partners with Lily and Sirius and they’re all super happy and after Hogwarts they buy a little cottage and all live together (with James ofc) and live happily ever after the end