#im embarassing myself
So everyday, my Dad sends me an “I love you” text with a “” emoji. In response, I always send him an
“I love you too, Dad” text, but, I send him a different emoji each day. Not saying my message is just a little bit better than his, but… Anyway, today I realized why I should just stick to the same emoji everyday like he does, because this Morning, I woke up to the usual, “I love you ” text from my Dad, and me, still half asleep, replied,
“I love you too, Dad! ”
And while some of you puritans are like,
“So, what’s wrong with that?”
I’ll tell you why, because internally, I read my text as,
“I LOVE YOU TOO, DAD! COME GET THIS DICK!”
And while embarrassed, and somewhat horrified, I have to admit, this was due to happen at some point, because I always just like scroll recklessly on the emoji screen and pick one. Half the time I don’t even check what it is.
Well, that certainly backfired today, didn’t it?
Meanwhile, I was honestly waiting for some Dad joke reply about it, but thank God he’s 60, and has no idea the context behind the eggplant emoji, which was proved shortly thereafter when he replied, “I never understood who ice fishes in a Lincoln? Dumbest commercial ever!” And while I agree, that premise for a Lincoln commercial doesn’t make any sense, I was just overjoyed we slid past the eggplant emoji scenario so effortlessly.
And because I hate talking about cars and know nothing about ice-fishing, I sent my Dad a link to a Conan O’ Brien interview with Jim Carrey where they sketched self-portraits of each other, along with my patented, “I love you, Dad! ” text, done correctly this time.
I finally got around to making an OnlyFans! New Content will be posted every day!
“Playing In The Yard”
An ENM story
Part 2
I sat naked, hiding behind a moderately sized shrub outside. My balls laid atop fresh mulch my Mom had spread across the landscape the week prior. While it felt wonderful, I could not stop shaking at my humiliating predicament.
As my Mom kept calling my name, I realized I was more and more likely to be seen like this. Currently locked out from complicity, and my only way inside being to jolt past my Mom in the nude, I decided to remain in my spot— naked as the day I was born, behind a bush, and now, pretty sweaty from the afternoon sun.
M: “Blake!… BLAKE! Can you come inside and please pick up your clothes!?”
She knew I was out here somewhere. My car was in the driveway, my phone was in the kitchen, and I am always telling her if I’m going anywhere— plus, because of ongoing lockdowns, where was I going to go anyway? She knew damn well I was nearby.
The longer I was outside naked, and the more I was playing hide-and-go-seek with my Mom, the more arousing my situation became. My pecker was pointing straight up to the clear blue sky. I, in no way, ever wanted to be seen naked by her at this age, but the prospect of getting caught was exhilarating for some reason.
“Should I just hop out and act normal, playing around the yard naked like I was just a little guy again?” I thought to myself.
“Is there even a way out of this?”
“Will I ever be able—
As I was imagining different scenarios in my head, a jolt of water rushed up and into my ass from the underground sprinkler system my parents got installed earlier in the spring.
While I’ll admit, it felt wonderful, it also came as a shock, causing me to jump straight up and out from behind the bush where I had been hiding.
Now in the yard on the side of the house, I could have came right there. The way that water hit me was nothing short of life-changing. Perhaps I learned something about myself I hadn’t yet discovered, but know wasn’t the time to think about that because my Mom was only 10 feet away, pulling weeds, but facing the other way.
Still, there was no way to get by her without my naked, wet body, and raging boner being completely exposed.
Every bit of me wanted to move and find another hiding spot, but I was completely frozen. I couldn’t fathom her seeing me like this, but something inside me wasn’t allowing my feet to move. It’s like they were glued down as every other part of me was shaking in anticipation from complete embarrassment.
In a pitiful manner, I even tried to hold my erection down, only for it to cause me to grimace. I let it go and it sprung straight up again.
Perhaps my freshly “manscapped,” well, bald look would buy me some innocence, but there was nothing pure about what my peepee was doing. Harder than it had possibly ever been, throbbing outside on this hot, summer day.
As I stood there, I slowly muttered the strength to clear my throat. Not getting a reaction from my Mom, I did it again, but this time, a bit louder.
That’s when she heard, and turned around.
Her eyebrows went so far up her forehead you’d think they’d flew off.
M: “Bl… Blake!?”
She looked me up and down— every inch of my bare naked, sweaty, aroused body examined like she was seeing me all over again for the first time.
Me: “Mind if I run past ya and get back inside? I—Uh, long story..”
In my life, I had never seen my Mom jump up and run so quickly. I didn’t quite know where she was going, but I had a small feeling, after seeing her eyes and the smirk on her face, something told me if I didn’t beat her to the back door, I was screwed.
“MOM!” I yelled, running after her.
As I was about to catch up to her, the wet grass became my kryptonite. My legs flew out from under me like a silly Saturday Morning cartoon.
Then, laying naked on my back in the wet grass, I heard the door open, the door slam shut, and a quick noise that was nothing other than a lock being secured.
End Of Part 2
So my Dad caught me running naked in the field today, and this happened. Should I take the offer? Help a naked boy out lol.
A fan of mine made an ENM art of me! His name is @particolarguy on Twitter.
