#dad jokes
this is so cute and wholesome and I’m dead over it I’m crying
I got some cowboy boots the other day, you could say it was a spur of the moment decision.
Gordon is at it again…
I don’t know why.
Have a ‘Stachcake, they’re Zero Calories! Happy Fathers Day!
Our daughter is still working on her left and right, so to help her, we got her some running shoes with Frozen characters on them. The design on each shoe is different, Anna on one, Elsa on the other. To help her remember which is which, I told her:
“Elsa goes on the left. ELsa, what starts with L? Left.”
“Which one does Anna go on, Daddy?”
…
“Anna da other foot.”
“Do you want to see my pecker???”
*puckers my lips and pecks you on the corner of the mouth* my lips!!! hahaha.. jokes for days - Lame joke Dujour - eUë
Just a warning
*NO REPOSTS/NO BIGOTS*
Any time I hear someone mention they’re sensitive to scents I’m like, “No, no you’re doing it wrong. You’re doing it entirely wrong.” I just want to go up to them and kind of disapprovingly say “No, you’re not sensitive.” And when they become all indignant and defensive and draw in a huge breath to comment on how callous and unfeeling I am? “You’re scentsitive.”
It would be glorious.
°°° ( Overheard at the Mayo Clinic … ? } °°°
science jokes are the best jokes
Phineas Welles being the best character in TOW for 7 minutes straight.
New headcanon:
Alfor told dad jokes. All. The. Time. Oftentimes they were the corniest dad jokes there are.
It used to annoy the heck out of Allura, but now that he’s gone she finds she really misses his dorky sense of humour.
PUN-PRESSIONS! Part 8 = Puns + Impressions
For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Don’t hate me.
My humor consists of holding random objects at my dad’s face and telling him “you’re [object] in a mildly aggressive tone and him doing the same.
Example
*while making a salad*
Me: You are "fork”
Dad: You are “lettuce”
Extra points if you can also throw the object at the other person ex.“ You are” napkin"
I’m am almost done with in college :)
James Potter is the kind of person that would make even more shitty dad jokes to tell his friends Lily’s pregnant.
This just in…
Freezing cold boy goes to corner because it is 90 degrees
Where does an angry sailor go?
Anchor management
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
What do you call a belt made of watches?
Waist of time
Junior web developer
Bell bottoms
This just in… Paper had a tearable day
What do you call a crying sister?
A crisis
