#incorrect zukka

and this, my friends, is how sokka entered a permanent coma

sokka:the palace is on fire and you have sixty seconds, what do you take?

zuko:a nap

sokka: good choice

sokka, burrowed in 3 comforters: i am the human taco. the beginning and the end of comfort. i am the couch potato, the king of sleepy and the superhero of watching cartoons all day.

zuko:you’ve been wrapped like that for eight hours. you sure you’re okay?

sokka: … i’m stuck and i really have to pee.

sokka, wide awake at 3 am: if you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you’re a chicken tender

zuko, eyes wide staring up at the ceiling:

aang:you lost a lot of blood and passed out. do you remember anything?

zuko: i remember the ambulance ride to the hospital

aang:there was no ambulance, i drove you there

zuko: but i heard sirens

aang:that was sokka

sokka: i was WORRIED

zuko: *banging calculator on the table in frustration*

sokka:hey, don’t be mean to the calculator! would you like it if i banged you on the table?

zuko:

zuko: i don’t know the correct answer to that question

zuko: this was fun, we should have dinner again

sokka:no thanks, i’m full

zuko:do you have protection?

sokka:always

sokka: *gestures toward the door where suki stands in full kyoshi warrior getup*

literally anyone, to sokka: your man lets you dress like that???

zuko:

sokka:eating raw chicken gives you salmonella, but eating raw salmon doesn’t give you chickenella..

zuko:can we please just eat in peace?

zuko: sokka is my bf

toph:best friend or boyfriend?

zuko:yes

sokka:in my defense, i was left unsupervised

katara:you were with zuko!

zuko: in my defense, i was also left unsupervised

suki: i sleep with fans under my pillow

mai:weak. i sleep with knives under my pillow

sokka:you are both pathetic

suki:what killed weapon do you sleep with then, mr. badass?

sokka:zuko

sokka: i just want to hear those three little words

zuko:i love you

sokka:thats sweet but try again

zuko: i will behave

sokka:there we go

zuko:i hope you’re not doing something dumb

sokka:i hope you’re not hoping too hard

zuko:would it kill you to stop taking 40 minute showers?

sokka:physically? no. emotionally? the toll would be catastrophic

zuko:can i sit here

sokka:that’s my lap

zuko:

zuko:that doesn’t answer my question

sokka:why don’t you ever say anything encouraging?

zuko:i encourage you not to die

sokka, to zuko: fight me

sokka, getting down on one knee and pulling out a ring: fight me for the rest of our lives

zuko: i’m morosexual. it means i’m exclusively attracted to dumbasses

sokka, later that day: when was the war of 1812 again

zuko, already taking off his clothes: sokka you’re so fucking stupid