#internal medicine

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New ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Vaccine Covers All Infections A to Z

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ALPHABET CITY, NY—With so many recommended vaccines—MMR, DTaP, IPV, Hib, PCV, RV etc—it can be challenging to remember all their names, let alone when to give them. That is, until now. That’s because there’s finally a universal vaccine that will displace all others, and everyone, including anti-vaxxers, can easily get behind. Called the ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ vaccine, […]

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Patient With No Past Medical History Has Sternotomy Scar, Central Line, G-tube

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An area emergency room physician was stunned today when his patient, a 4 year old boy whose parents denied any medical history, was found to have a well-healed sternotomy scar on examination. “Imagine my surprise when I went to examine this previously healthy little boy and found a large scar at the thoracic midline, along […]

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Physicians can now legally ghost patients

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New York, New York- In an exciting turn of events congress has recently passed bill 151, also known as “the ghost law”. After much heated deliberation with strong consideration from physicians from petitions, bill 151 was voted on unanimously! What is bill 151? Bill 151 or “the ghost law” allows physicians to terminate a patient […]

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