#introducing bdsm
Round 2! Answers about shibari in seifuku, the illusive male bodied bondage guide, and easing into kink~
Anonymous: Do you know of any ties that look good while the tied person is wearing a seifuku?
Hazel: Yeah I’ve found that skirts get all scrunched up in bodysuit type rigs. I think two separate ties would be the cutest option…
Top:
Bottom (under the skirt):
Anonymous: Hey, I saw a earlier anon asking about male-specific bondage. This is a very NSFW PDF that covers cock and ball ties. Not super harsh, just kind of crotch ropes for them’s that got dicks. Google “bondage for cbt - tonyBuff” and it should be at the top of the page.
Hazel: Thank you! Here’s the direct link (nsfw!)
Anonymous: Hi there~! I love your blog and most of your tutorials are super easy to follow along with! I’m having problems with one of them though, the Weave Harness, I’m stuck on step 8. Would you ever consider doing a video to better explain how to do that harness?
Hazel: Thank you! Unfortunately we don’t have the time and equipment to do video right now, but I can explain step 8 a bit more:
The rope in your hands, if you’re at step 7, cross it over at your back, like you were tying it off in a knot at your spine.
Then when it comes back to the front, it’s up through the 4 bottom ropes, over, and down through the 4 bottom ropes again.
If I lose track of where a tie is going, I find it helps to trace 1 rope in MS Paint (or whichever program) with a bright colour so it becomes clearer.
I hope that helps!
Anonymous: Hey Hazel, I was wondering if you could help me out. My partner loves bondage, she adores the thought of being tied and being controlled.. However, she is pretty shy in terms of saying what she wants during sex. I have to figure it out, what feels good and what excites her. I have asked her before to tell me what she enjoys the most but she can’t get herself to tell me. I have ropes and a blind fold but I can never find a good way to incorporate them during sex.. ideas?
Hazel: If she’s not too shy, you could discuss it ahead of time. Some of the nervousness from talking about sex might be taken away if it’s in a more “here’s a list of things I like”, ‘clinical’ setting.
If that’s still too much, maybe role play? Get in a chat room, separated in real life, and cyber it up. The degree of separation between her and the screen might be enough for her to open up.
For starting out: blindfold first. The minute that goes on, you’ll feel a lot more free to try out some rope. The pressure to be sensual every minute is gone- but make sure to throw in a few caresses here an there so she knows you’re still present, even if you’re figuring out a knot or untangling :)
Anonymous: Hello I love your blog! Big question…I really want to bleach my rope white! Is there a tutorial you can share that teaches you??
Hazel: That all depends on what your rope is made of. Once you know that, give it a search. There are loads of professional fabric wranglers out there who know way more than me!
Anonymous: Hi Hazel~ Any advice for introducing a lover to shibari in the bedroom? (We’re both female, if it changes anything.)
Hazel: There’s two camps on this- the 'do it in the moment, when it feels right’ folks, and the 'talk about it before’ folks.
I’m solidly in the second one. I think that introducing something entirely new while having sex can result in some seriously uncomfortable weirdness. Even if the person is open to the idea of kink, its sudden appearance can be a bit shocking.
But discussion doesn’t have to be super scary 'time for a sit-down talk’.
My preferred method is pictures (no surprises there). I’ll show my partner a photo of something I like and just ask “what do you think?”
This leaves a lot more room for anything from a curious “looks interesting” to a graceful rejection “looks overly complicated”.
Hopefully some helpful tips in there, and another thank you to the anon who provided the male body bondage link!
♥ Hazel
