but Ivar cut him off, “Y/N. yes. it is.” his eyes watched your every movement as you battled against his men. even at a distance it was obvious you were a force to be reckoned with, and Ivar felt his blood racing through his viens with every moment he watched.
he had loved you since the first day he saw you pick up a sword. you had always been beautiful and with a weapon… well, Ivar could die knowing he’d seen a true Valkyrie. yes, you were on the other side, but Ivar still had hope.
he would always have hope, even if he took that hope with him to his grave.
You were smoking not thinking about anything when you saw that black jaguar stopping at your door. You knew it was him before he even left the car, even so you were curious. What he was doing?
You watched Ivar leaving the car in all his glory. Black leather jacket, red shirt e black jeans that made he look so sinfully handsome.
“Hi, Y/N,” he said with a small smile.
“Hello,” you said leaving your cigarette forgotten aside.
“Can you say to Megan that I’d like to talk with her?” he said.
Okay, you should have known better. Obviously Ivar wasn’t there for you, but for your sister, Megan. He didn’t need to say but it was kind obvious he was head over heels for her, probably just like you were for him.
“She just left with Matthew. On a date,” you added like if it was nothing.
“Matthew… A date? Wow. I guess I’m kinda late,” he smiled but different than the other times, his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Good, he was angry.
“I’ll tell her you came here and-”
“There’s no need, it’s okay,” he said.
“Wouldn’t you like to come inside?” you said like it was no big deal. To prove your point a loud thunder echoed through the sky.
“I guess I don’t have another option,” he said shyly.
“Do you need anything? I have beer here,” you said once he was seated in your couch.
“No I-i… Yeah, I’d like it. Please,” he added.
Once you seated with him, handing him a beer you looked attentively at him. He was ridiculously handsome. Everything about him drove you insane. His gorgeous features, the icy blue eyes you’d die for, his smell, the most minimum detail made your heart skip a beat.
“Staring is rude,” he laughed before taking a long sip of the beer.
“I wasn’t… Sorry,” you laughed. You’d have to be more discreet otherwise he would notice the way you looked at him.
“So did you come to confess your feelings for the sweet Megan?” you said dramatically earning a laugh from him.
“Is that obvious?” he asked.
“It’s written all over your face. C'mon, you have heart eyes for her,” you said like it was obvious.
“No, I don’t… Okay, maybe I look at her a bit different,” he admitted.
“A bit?”
“Okay, I fell for her. Satisfied?” he said.
“A bit,” you answered with a small smile.
“Why are you smiling?” he asked curiously.
“It’s nothing… I mean I should be used to this,” you continued.
“To what?"
"Megan always… Had guys like you head over heels for her and she plays with them, with their feelings. I don’t want this for you,” you said.
Part of you was angry to talk about your sister like this, but it wasn’t a lie. Megan was a femme fatale. That included some heartbreaking in the process. It was what she was. A goddamn powerful woman who knew the power she had in hands and put to good use.
The other part? Wanted to be more like her. To be sensual, to attract all the eyes when you enter a room, to break some hearts as well. But you and your sister were like wine and water, didn’t work very well together.
You were clumsy, most of times could be friends with the guy who was interested in you. You were the nerd sister and Megan, the cheerleader, the prom queen.
“Why are you telling me that? What do you want for me, Y/N?” Ivar asked after a long time.
“I think you deserve the true,” you said trying to ignore the goosebumps erupting in your skin hearing him calling your name.
“What do you want for me?” he insisted.
I want you to want me, your insides screamed.
“I want you to be happy with some girl that knows your value and that loves you,” and I want to be this girl, you added in your thoughts.
Ivar smiled to you, a true and beautiful smile. That made your knees weak. And then you realized. He knew it. He didn’t need to say anything, the way he looked at you said it all. He fucking knew it.
Much to your liking in a matter of two seconds and you were in a complete darkness.
“I swear to fucking fuck,” you said mostly to yourself.
“Better now?” he said once his phone’s flashlight was on.
“Thank you,” you said.
“So what were you saying?” Ivar said trying to bring back the subject.
“Forgot it, it’s your life, you give the shots not me,” you said.
“When were you going to tell me?” he asked softly.
“I wasn’t,” you said. You didn’t need to ask what the fuck he was talking about.
“Hey, look at me,” he said. Long fingers reaching for you chin, making you face him.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered. You looked at those beautiful eyes, silently begging for whoever mysterious force to not lose his friendship.
“It’s been awhile since I noticed, probably that held me. I didn’t talk to Megan sooner because I knew about you, and I didn’t want to hurt you. And probably I lost her because of this,” he said running his hands through his long brown hair.
“You didn’t need to held yourself. I wouldn’t be that hurt… I told you, I’m used to this,” you said.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“What for? To lose your friendship? To make you reject me? No, I was fine keeping those feelings for me. What could I possibly win, Ivar?" you were almost crying at that point.
"Me,” he said. He smiled and caressed your hair softly. “I don’t know what you think about yourself, but you’re beautiful, kind, smart… So irresistible, just like your sister. You two aren’t that different, y'know. But you, Y/N, there’s something else about you. Something that intrigues me. Something that makes me want to be closer and closer to you,” he continued.
At that point breathing was out of question, the air was stuck in your throat because as Ivar talked he leaned closer and closer to you. You could feel his hot breath against your skin, and even wonder how it would be to kiss him right now.
Probably he was thinking the same when he kissed you. Plump lips against yours softly but wanting more. When you felt his tongue caressing your bottom lip, asking for entrance you swore your soul left your body. Because there was no fucking way that this was happening.
But boy, it was. Hot tongue dancing alongside yours, a passionate kiss that he easily dominated. He had both hands on your waistline, gripping firmly, holding you in place. You, on the other way, had shaky hands on his neck, wanting that this moment didn’t end.
But it did. You two were breathless, forehead against one another, icy blue eyes blown with lust.
“Please say we can try,” he said softly.
“Yeah, we can,” you said smiling.
Ivar kissed your forehead and you hugged him. This would work, you knew. You two would be one of that couples that couldn’t be away from one another for such a long time, and honestly, you were so happy with the idea of having an angry puppy like him always close to you.
Ivar knew he would found her waiting for him there, alone, probably reading some book with the sunlight caressing her skin in the most beautiful way. Once he reached her, he smiled. She was really reading. He sat down with her and caressed her hair.
“Hey,” she said with that shy smile that never failed making his heart skip a beat.
“Ready?” he asked. He wished things to be different, that she took him seriously, maybe give them a chance.
Ivar knew he would found her waiting for him there, alone, probably reading some book with the sunlight caressing her skin in the most beautiful way. Once he reached her, he smiled. She was really reading. He sat down with her and caressed her hair.
“Hey,” she said with that shy smile that never failed making his heart skip a beat.
“Ready?” he asked. He wished things to be different, that she took him seriously, maybe give them a chance.
“Actually I wanted to talk to you,” she started.
“What happened?” he asked. Because obviously something was wrong. He could say just by looking at her eyes, the worry clear on them.
“I wanted to know that if it’s okay…” she suddenly stopped talking.
“C'mon, talk to me, my sweet Y/N,” he said touching her chin.
“I’m not in the mood, I’m sorry,” she said, her cheeks blushing a little.
“What happened? It was me?” Ivar asked suddenly worried.
“No, I just… I had another discussion with my mom this morning and she said a few things, y'know? I just wish I had another place to go, I don’t want to look at her, not right now at least. She hurt me,” she talked in such a low tone that Ivar had to pay total attention to her.
“You can come to my house, if you want of course,” he said like it was no big deal.
Immediately her curious eyes scanned his features looking for any signs of joking or anything like that.
“Sure?” she asked.
“I thought we were friends,” Ivar said dramatically.
“Friends don’t have sex,” she answered.
“We can always be friends with benefits,” he smiled.
“You’re such an idiot,” she laughed.
“Funny thing, I don’t remember you saying that kind of thing when my dick was inside of you,” he laughed when she blushed.
“Like I said, idiot,” she emphasized the word.
“C'mon we can watch movies and eat junkie food,” he said.
“Okay you convinced me,” she said with a smile.
***
When you got out of the bathroom you noticed you didn’t have anything to wear. Once you were back in the room Ivar was already laying on the bed, looking for something to watch on Netflix.
“Can I use one of your clothes?” you asked finally gaining his attention.
Okay it’s been awhile since that thing between you and Ivar was happening, but you always blushed under his gaze. It was strange because at the same time you felt the most beautiful woman in the world, you felt so little and helpless, like he was a lion and you were his prey.
“Sure,” he said.
You almost ran to his closet. You decided for one of his band t-shirts and grey sweatpants. You came back to the room and joined him on the bed.
You took some time to look at his room. He had a large variety of books, some of them classic and others were probably in foreign language. His dark room had three of the walls painted in black, and there was a red light that made everything look more attractive, more sensual.
“I never imagined being here,” you said turning your look to him.
“Hope you like, it’s my favourite place,” he said.
You knew Ivar didn’t have much friends, to be honest, he barely talked with other people beyond his brothers and well, you.
“Ivar,” you called him.
“What?” he said.
“Why me? You could have literally any other girl. I mean, you’re unfairly handsome,” you said.
You watched him inhale and exhale a few times, like if he was thinking about what to say.
“You’re different than any other girl I already met. When we had to do that ridiculous task together I saw that, and… I wanted more. I wanted to know you, to have you,” he said.
“So am I kinda of a prize to you? Something you wanted badly and-”
“I didn’t say that. I said that I wanted to know you, to be close to you. I never considered you like a prize. Because let’s be honest, I’m not that good, not to have you,” he said.
“What do you mean? Because we, well… We have sex quite often and…” you asked.
“Yes but think about it, we could have so much more than just sex. I mean the sex is great but… You understood,” he said.
You took some time to think about what he was saying, what he truly wanted. Did that mean that he wanted something else? Maybe a real relationship? Okay, Ivar wasn’t the type of guy that sent flowers and all the cute stuff, but he always watched over you, always was more worried in you, in your interests, in what you want, in your pleasure…
“Ivar, I…” at that point you didn’t know what to say anymore.
“Why don’t you sleep a little? I know you were crying in the bath, I heard,” he said softly.
“I… What about you?” you asked.
“I didn’t invite you here to have sex. I know how bad you get once you and your mother fight. I just want to comfort you. I won’t do anything, I promise,” he said.
“Thank you,” you said.
***
You woke up desperate looking for you phone when you saw it was just 8 PM you wanted to throw it against the wall. You shifted in the bed and finally saw that Ivar was sleeping as well, the book he was reading was open against his tattooed chest and he was still wearing glasses.
You slowly moved closer to him, picked the book and put it aside and when you were almost taking his glasses he woke up. Icy blue eyes staring at you.
“I didn’t mean to wake you, sorry,” you said.
“It’s okay. What time is it?” he asked yawning.
“8,” you answered.
“Want to eat something?” he asked checking on his phone.
“No, I’m fine,” you said.
“Can we go back to sleep?” he said laying properly on the bed.
“Yeah, we should,” you said looking at him.
Ivar reached for your body, strong arms involving your waist and pulling you closer.
“Thank you for everything you’ve been doing to me,” you whispered.
He opened his eyes and looked at you, curious eyes scanning your face.
“No need to thank me,” he said as traced your features with his fingers.
He didn’t need to do anything at that moment to make your heart race its own beats. When this started, you knew it wouldn’t be nothing but some great sex, but now? Oh girl, at that moment you already knew Ivar was the one. Your heart was his and something in your insides told you, his heart was yours as well.
“I want to kiss you so badly right now,” you said chuckling.
Ivar in the other hand was serious. He leaned closer to you, plump lips meeting yours in what started as a calm kiss. Tongues touching one another smoothly, hands tangling together. It didn’t take long to you moan on his mouth. Body getting hotter and hotter, wanting his touch, wanting to be his.
“You came here to seduce me, right? Such a bad girl,” he said slapping your thighs, hands grabbing the soft skin so hard that you moaned loudly.
“Ivar, please,” you said while you still could think coherently.
“What? Tell me what you want,” he said.
I want you to ravish me, you thought looking mesmerized at him. Under his gaze you always felt the prettiest and most desired woman on earth.
“I want you to fuck me,” you said simply. Thinking about it was enough to make heat pool between your legs.
“I see that. Everything in you tells me this. You want me so bad… Exactly the same way I want you,” he said close to your ear. Hot breath tickling your skin.
Like if he needed to prove a point, he pressed his growing erection against your thigh. He smiled when he saw you breathing heavily and closing your eyes, a loud moan trying to pass through your closed lips.
Much to your dislike Ivar took his time with you. Slowly so slowly he took your clothes off, kissing every exposed centimeter he got it.
“So beautiful,” he said touching both of your breasts, palming them softly just the way you liked. Hot mouth involving your nipples, one at time, prolonging that blissful attack. Licking, sucking and biting, the recipe to drive you crazy.
He nestled between your legs and started kissing your inner thighs. Here and there biting them.
“Ivar, please,” you knew you were sounding desperate.
“Want me here?” he said touching your slick folds, playing with your wetness.
“Yes,” you moaned arching your body as answer.
Ivar smiled before finally putting his mouth on you. Skillful tongue working on your pleasure, strong hands forcing your legs open so he could have espace to do whatever he wanted to you. And boy, he did. He fucked you with his tongue, with his fingers but he didn’t make you cum, no he preferred to have you clenching around him, moaning his name on nonstop like a prayer.
He aligned himself in your entrance and in one smooth movement he was inside you. At that moment breathing calmly was out of the question.
“You’re mine,” he said standing still inside you.
“I’m yours,” you confirmed.
Ivar smiled and then finally started moving. Slowly at first, but soon his insane pace was settled. Hips burying themselves on yours, making your body burn in pure desire for him.
Your closed your legs on his waist, allowing him to get even deeper inside you. Touching that sweet spot repeatedly, making you roll shut your eyes.
“Look at me,” he groaned.
And when you looked at him, he caressed your face.
“I want to see when you fall apart.”
At that moment you knew you were lost. Ivar used his arms as leverage to keep that furious pace. You knew it wouldn’t take you to long to your orgasm hit you like a train.
“Ivar, oh fuck!” You moaned. The growing pressure in your lower belly only grew.
“Come to me,” he said.
And obviously your body attended his command. You came trembling from head to toes, moaning his name. Nails finding his back and scratching him in the process. Ivar came right after you, not resisting to the way your pussy clenched around him.
He took some time still inside you trying to catch up his breath. When he finally moved he pulled you closer to him.
“Y/N, I…” he started.
You looked at him, mind still blurring too lost in pleasure.
“I don’t know how to say that,” he laughed nervously.
You waited for him to organise his thoughts, you were tracing the tattoos on his chest.
“I want more than this, I… I want you to be my girlfriend,” he said looking at you. His eyes were almost screaming “say yes, please”.
“Nothing would make me more happy than this,” you said.
He didn’t need words to answer, he hugged you tightly.
“I’ll make you happy, I promise,” he said.
“I already am when I’m with you,” you smiled.
You closed your eyes drifting to sleep happily. You knew that you and Ivar would make it. Honestly you couldn’t be happier with the fact that you were his girl, truly.
happy birthday to this sunshine, i feel like my soul falls more in love with yours everyday, i hope you live many more years so i can see your smile from time to time, and how beautiful your eyes look when the sun hits your face, i’m glad to have you in my life.
If I forgot to tag you I’M SO SORRY and please just shoot me a message and I will add you ASAP. please do not ask to be tagged in the comments bc I’m scared your request is gonna get swallowed up! it’s a lot easier for me to keep track of it if you submit is as a question \message. <3
TW: None really.
His voice is a small thunder in the dead of night. The question lingers, swells, takes a life of its own between the two of you. He’s angry, you’re angry. It doesn’t have to be this way. Or does it?
Where is your god?
Where was he when Ivar tore Erik apart with no mercy?
He didn’t have the right to take a life.
But you had no business explaining these things to a heathen.
Yet…feelings were universal. You knew this now, you knew this as surely as you knew you needed air to breath. Because when the two of you were sitting on his bed suddenly there was no heaven or hell. There was no Valhalla or purgatory. No one god, nor multiple gods.
There was only skin, breath and tension.
“You asked for me Ivar. What more do you want?” Your voice inquiries, frustrated. As soon as the question is asked, you realize you’re scared of the answer.
“You know what I want, nun. Don’t play coy. Or stupid. You’re not stupid.” he spits, his expression scornful. You flinch. He’s being hateful, cruel.
But did you expect anything else? Heathens had feelings too, and his apparently have been hurt.
“No, I don’t. I really don’t.” You swallow, suddenly feeling brave. If he said it out loud, if you finally talked about all of this, perhaps he could see how ridiculous and impossible the situation was.
“Renounce your god, Y/N. Be mine.” his voice is definitive but his eyes are looking fragile, almost weak. You purse your lips instantly, your heart is starting to pump and beat at an impossible pace, you swear it’s going to fly right out of your ribcage.
The thought makes you angry and scared. Did he really think he could persuade you into such heresy? He might have been king. Hell, he might have been a god around here. But he was no more than a misguided cruel man to you.
In the heat of the moment, you speak your mind, your cheeks catching fire. “You might be a king around here, Ivar Lothbrok. Some people might even call you a god. But you are nothing more than a sad, lost, little man for me.” You spit, then immediately regret it while watching his expression crumple momentarily.
His face begins to shiver a little, then his entire body shakes like he’s about to explode.
“I hate you!” he roars, launching as his hands grip your throat. You stumble back onto the bed, his body weight pressing you onto the furs beneath. He squeezes, all you see is black. “I hate you, and your Christian god!” he screams in your face. The moment seems immense, yet it can’t be more than two or three seconds before the pressure around your throat eases up and all you can see is the blue of the ocean in his eyes. Then you feel the wetness on your face. Then it finally clicks - Ivar the Boneless is lying on top of you, crying.
Your chest is heaving, rising and falling - desperate for air.
Ivar’s fingers slowly let go, like a snake slowly peeling off its skin. Then he rolls to his back next to you silently. You can hear him breathing but neither one of you speaks for a long time afterwards.
“I should go.” You mumble eventually. All tears have dried, there was nothing left to shed for the beautiful, crippled, incredibly messed up young man.
“I should send you back. Or give you to my men.” he retorts, spiteful. You turn to look at him, pressing your cheek against the fabrics, but he won’t look at you - a petulant child.
“I can’t go back. They won’t have me…they will never believe that…well…” Your voice travels. The priests would never believe your virtue had remained intact in Viking-land where rape came as easy as the swatting of a fly.
“Sleep, Ivar the boneless. I hope tonight’s dreams will bring you remorse and compassion.” you whisper and remove yourself from his bed.
In your chamber, the night feels colder and darker now. You pray for forgiveness and guidance but god is silent as ever.
You wake up to the feeling of someone watching you. The skin of your shoulder is bare and the covers have slid to the floor. You realize you feel asleep crying, before you could even change your clothes.
A dark shadow in the corner of the room startles you and now you’re wide awake and reaching for the covers as he leans forward - his serpentine eyes latching onto every centimetre of skin. “Good morning, Y/N.” Ivar’s voice sounds cheerful as ever. Was last night just a bad dream?
“Good morning. W-what are you doing here?” you ask, disoriented. “Now, now. That is no way to address your king, is it, nun?” he points out. The question lingers. The boundaries are completely mixed up now. “But since last night had left us both pretty upset - I will let it slide. For now.” he gestures with one hand and a nod.
“The servant girls are going down to the river soon to fetch water and…ah, other things. Today you will join them.” he says somewhat ceremoniously, but it feels like you’re missing something here.
“I better go now.” he announces after a moment of silence, then takes his crutches and disappears - leaving you confused and dumbfounded.
After washing and preparing for the day you join the rest of the servant girls as instructed. The walk to the river is strange…it feels longer, and you can almost feel the tension in the air when they whisper amongst themselves - giving you strange looks.
One of the girls, Hilda, is frowning as she whispers something in Tora’s ear. A third girl you don’t know overhears and giggles. Hilda hisses as she suddenly begins to walk your way, her shoulder bumps into yours, nearly knocking you over with the stack of dirty clothes you’re holding. “Do you really think it is wise, Hilda?” the nameless girl asks provokingly, she seems younger.
“What is she going to do? They say king Ivar no longer keeps her under his wing. I guess this whore of a nun is out of luck.” Hilda says, giving you a hostile look.
Swallowing, you don’t say another word to them. Instead, you sit on a rock, ankle-deep in the cold river as you begin to wash the fabrics. Soon, your hands turn blue and numb. At first they shake with the cold and it feels like hundreds of tiny pins are piercing the frozen skin - but after a while you lose all sensation in them.
The other girls laugh and talk as they go about their chores. A few hours later, when the sun is already high in the sky, they tell you it’s time to go back. You are shuffling close behind them, carrying the largest basket of clothes - they are wet now and naturally heavier.
Walking through the main square on your way to Ivar’s cabin, you can see the men standing outside and eyeing you and the other servant girls shamelessly. Suddenly, someone sends out their leg, tackling you and sending all the wet clothes into the muddy puddles beneath you. You land on your hands and feet, feeling a few drops of mud on your cheek.
“Christian Nun, the dirt suits you.” he mocks, a small group of men soon huddles behind him.
hello good people of the fandom and welcome to yet another annoying little update. if you’re here and reading this please comment, say hello, let me know you’re still alive and interested!
i’ve been reading your comments. been hearing your thoughts and wishes and rest assured - I WILL BE DELIVERING MUWHAHAA.
this whole CO-VID situation is a shit show, to say the least. between work and other obligations i don’t have a lot of time to write, but i love this story and i love how much you love it. so don’t worry. next part is coming very soon. one thing i do ask of you is PLEASE;
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