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Holding onto a Dream (Dark!Ubbe x Reader)

Summary:Ubbe wants you to carry his seed. You want to live in solidarity. Only one of you can have their way and slaves never get what they want which means you can only dream a hopeless dream.

Warnings:forced pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy, implies smut, strong language, slave!reader, dark!ubbe, implied noncon

Word Count: 1,531

Requested by anonymous:

You’ve been told by many men that you’re beautiful, that you look like a goddess. That you’re the woman they would like to see grow big with their child. Of course, you never had a choice when it came to Ubbe Ragnarsson.

He chose you as his slave when you came in with the other thralls at the market in Kattegat, but he wasn’t going to use you to clean up and serve food. No, he intended to breed you so that his seed would carry on strong.

“It’s a wonderful thing being a mother. Having the gift to bring life into the world is like a miracle from the Gods. And I know a lot of women will be jealous of you having the opportunity to bring this child into the world. You should be happy to be here,” Aslaug told you when Ubbe announced your pregnancy.

But you’re not happy to be here. You didn’t want to be a mother. You planned on being a shieldmaiden when you were a child. Fighting in the Shield Wall seemed to be like a dream to you and it’s what you held onto when you were taken as a slave.

After meeting Ubbe and being in Kattegat, your dreams and plans changed. You long to just be alone. You want to live in a cabin in the woods, by yourself where you can do whatever you want and invite in whoever you want and kill whoever you don’t want to be near you. Being alone is the dream you cling onto, one that you know will never happen now that there is a child growing in your stomach.

Obviously, your unhappiness doesn’t go unnoticed by the father of your child. He’s kept quiet through the months, thinking that in time you’d get that glow of pregnancy and you’d soon feel that happiness of becoming a mother.

But now that you’re about to give birth any day now, he’s getting irritated with your constant melancholy.

“You are not happy,” he states with a monotone voice as he walks into the room, making your head snap over your shoulder to look back at him.

You watch him place his weapon down at the door of the room, something you always make sure he does before you talk to him because you can never be sure what he’ll do next to you and you’re not sure if carrying his child will be enough to stop him from killing you. Though, sometimes you think that’s not a bad idea.

“How can I be when I wanted none of this?” you mutter, taking your hand off of the large, round burden you carry.

“And what did you want? To live out in the woods like an outcast?”

“If it meant I’d be unbothered by you and everyone else in your fucking family then yes,” you hiss, snapping around to face him with a hateful glare in your eyes.

Ubbe smirks at you, thinking how feisty you have become since being with his child. You would never talk like this to him before, but now it’s a nice change. It makes the fight all the more fun.

Your glare dies when he starts walking towards you, your heart skipping a beat as your mind raced with thoughts of what he could do next. Would he beat you? Would he lay his hands on you while carrying his child or is he going to wait until you give birth and then ‘discipline’ you for all the things you had done wrong during your pregnancy? Or are his words going to be a knife to cut you now?

“Why do you wish to hurt my heart, (Y/n)? After everything I have done for you?” he whispers, placing his hand over his heart as he comes to stand in front of you.

You tell yourself to not feel guilty, that these are words to make you feel that way. You won’t let him. “You have done nothing for me-”

“I have spared you from a life of burden. Would you rather work 'til your hands bleed everyday and you cannot stand because your feet are blistered?” he asks, gently pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. You try to pull your hand away from him, but it just follows you. “I have given you the mercy all thralls wish for. You won’t have to work as they do. All you have to do is be a mother to the children I give you.”

You swallow roughly and bite the inside of your cheek when you feel him rest his hand on the swell of your stomach. “Then why don’t you free me so that your children don’t come from a slave?”

Ubbe laughs, drops his eyes to your stomach, and swipes his thumb over the material covering the home of his heir. Any day now and he will hold what he hopes is his son in his arms. “You would have too much freedom then. I fear that if I free you, you will leave for the pathetic dream to live alone in the woods. And I cannot have that,” he says, leaning down to try and place a kiss on your lips.

But you turn your head, making his lips land on your cheek. “I promised the Gods when I saw you that I would never let you go and I would keep you as mine until one of us stops breathing. I intend to keep my promise to them,” he whispers in your ear, his voice making a shiver run up your spine and a shaky breath leave your lips.

“What makes you think the Gods care about your dreams?”

“What makes you think they care about yours?” he asks back, stepping away from you with a coy smile on his face. “They would have done something to save you by now if they cared. But here you are and here you will stay.”

You were told so many times how your motherly instincts will kick in the moment you hold your baby but all you could do was cry. Everyone thought that they were tears of joy. None of them knew that you were crying because you knew that your dream is now too far out of reach.

You waited for that feeling of motherly nurture to fill you, but every time you look at the son you birthed you couldn’t help but feel hatred for what they represent to you. It made Ubbe happy to have a son, but you know that soon he will ask for another.

No, we won’t ask. He will force another on you.

Hearing Ubbe walking into the room, you don’t bother turning your head to acknowledge him because you know he’s only here for one thing. “Your son is with your mother,” you bluntly say, staring at the wall in front of you as you pull the pelt of fur tighter around you.

“I know. I asked her to keep him for the night,” Ubbe says.

You can hear him taking his clothes off, your eyes closing in dread as a sob catches in your throat. You had only finished bleeding a few days ago and the healers have said that you are able to carry another child. It was only a matter of time before Ubbe made that happen.

He walks over to you, around the bed, and stands right in front of you. Lifting your head up by placing two fingers under your chin, you open your eyes to look at him, and a tear slips out to roll down your cheek.

You don’t want to fight anymore. You can’t bring yourself to fight. You can’t find the strength to push away the numb feeling inside you to fight Ubbe about this.

And he notices this.

“Don’t worry, (Y/n),” he soothes, wiping the tear off your cheek while caressing your cheek. “Your fire will come back once you’re carrying my child again.”

He pushes the pelt of fur off your shoulder, smiling to himself when he finds that you’re already naked. Probably because you didn’t bother getting dressed after taking a bath.

“I want a daughter,” he whispers, making you lie down on the fur that had wrapped your body like a gift to him.

“Fine,” you mutter, turning your head to the side as he crawls over you, kissing his way down your neck, over your chest, and across your body.

All you can do is close your eyes and think about your cabin in the woods, the peace you would have as a free woman, the life you would have without being treated like a breeding bitch.

Perhaps you would take the daughter Ubbe wants with you to save her from the way she would be treated. You have a feeling that she won’t have the same respect a legitimate daughter of Ubbe Ragnarsson would have. She would be known as your daughter first and foremost. The daughter of a whore. No woman deserves that.

But that’s all a dream now. A pathetic, lost dream that will never see the light of day.

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