#jimmy pete

Gary: Relax. once the termites are gone, we can move back in and everything will be back to normal.

Pete: What do you mean “normal”? Jimmy dropped out of college!

Jimmy: Zoe went to Boston!

Zoe: Gary brought termites into the house!

Gary: Well Petey-… what did you do again?

Pete: Nothing. As usual, I’m the good one.

Pete: I think we may have found the root of your problem. You have mother issues!

Jimmy: Yay, I have mother issues!

Pete: No, that’s bad.

Jimmy: Aw, I have mother issues.

Gary: Alright, so you and I are married.

Pete: We are not married.

Gary: Relax, it’s just pretend.

Pete: I don’t want to pretend.

Gary: Scared you’ll like it?

Pete: Okay, if we’re married, I want a divorce.

Jimmy: Are you two like this all the time?

Gary and Pete: Yes.

Jimmy, to Gary: Hey, don’t insult Petey! His life is pathetic enough without you!

Pete: …

Jimmy: Don’t say I never defend you.

Pete: Can I say you never defend me well?