#kim namjoon smut
Nerve_26 || KNJ
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Nerve [Namjoon x Reader]
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Part 26 || Ascension
Part 27 - coming soon
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Genre - cheating; aftermath; husband au;
Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.
Warning - Cheating(Aftermath); (Not! Implied!) Smut; SMUT!;
Word Count - 7.8k
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The following update contains scenes of a sexual nature. To bypass the scenes skip through the portion between the following ’###’.
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‘You have got, to be fucking kidding me.’ Bree laughed and rested both palms in her office desk.
'It’s right in front of you,’ Kenta motioned to her monitor.
'I know that, Ken!’ She snapped.
'Hey,’ Yuna bristled, her legs stretched out in front of her on the chair across from her.
Bree sighed. 'Sorry, I’m just,’ she circled her head with her finger, 'it’s just surreal.’ Her eyes grew wide, 'it really shouldn’t be this deep,’ she clicked her tongue.
Yuna knew exactly what Bree was on about. Kenta had shown her the footage as early as 7am, despite the long night they’d all had.
He had gone to bed with her, both of them needing each other’s comfort, each other’s presence. But she wouldn’t put it past him to have waited for her to fall asleep and go off to do his own thing.
She couldn’t blame him for that either. Protecting y/n, solving mysteries, putting the puzzle pieces together, it was in his blood, in his bones. And he’d honed his skills to a phenomenal level.
So to have no answer, no end in sight from an issue that came across as a simple – a crazy lady with a gun, there was no way he had any sleep last night.
And for good reason.
Bree was losing her mind about the footage from her club last night. Kenta identified the entrance Maiya used, her route inside the club from change up, to the bar, and the two times she entered VIP3. Kenta logged the time, she had y/n cornered, her position, and tracked everything that had happened in VIP3 with his own hidden camera, that Bree didn’t have to know about, right up until Huru escorted her out later that night.
There were three major issues. Maiya had entered as a guest, and gained access as an employee. But how? When all of Bree’s employees had a bracelet with a chip that could be scanned for identification. She couldn’t have gained access to any of the back rooms, the change room, or anything else, unless she had one. And she didsport a silver bracelet in her hand when she left.
The server that was originally meant to be the waitress of VIP3 had unexpectedly called sick, that very day, and couldn’t show up for work.
But she had sent a replacement.
The third issue was that Maiya had approached the bar, the one that Kiri wasn’t attending, empty handed.
The exact same camera, facing her direction, showed her leaving the bar, with a device, and a bracelet.
'So wait,’ Bree chuckled coldly, 'You’re telling me,’ she held her fingers up, pinching her thumb and forefinger together as if trying to keep her peace from leaving her bubble, 'that the bracelet and the recording device, dropped out of thin air.’
Kenta walked toward the window of Bree’s office and looked out.
Yuna knew her fiance was ready to blow a gasket. But Bree’s incredulity was just the tipping point. He’d been tense ever since visiting Yoshi.
'Because clearly,’ Bree hit rewind on the footage for a few seconds, and turned the monitor forcefully in his direction, 'she has nothing but her phone on her. She doesn’t even have a coat. No pockets, no bag.’ Bree but her lip and lowered her tone. 'How the fuck…'
'The footage was spliced.’ Kenta shoved his hands in his pocket.
Yuna’s heart ached for him. He was beating himself up about this. But he couldn’t have known and he couldn’t have done anything even if he was there.
He was worried about Yoshi. And some part of Yuna was absolutely terrified that he was going to back out of Barcelona. It seemed like a selfish thought, but she wanted him to herself. He deserved a break.
But she also knew he was the best at what he did. He would be so double-minded about leaving. He would constantly be worried about Yoshi and his team, and y/n.
Yuna wouldn’t lie to herself either. Kenta was the best choice to keep her best friend safe.
Yuna shut her eyes tightly. Ugh. Kim Y/n.
Guilt was eating at Yuna for the way she’d treated her best friend the night before.
Her emotions had gotten the better of her.
And she felt even worse when she’d talked to Kenta that morning.
*
'You gonna see y/n, today?’ He asked without looking up from his tablet, coffee in hand.
'I had no plans to leave the house today.’ Yuna nursed her own mug, and read through updates on the group chat for the project.
'Yuna.'
Kenta didn't… scold her. Not the way he would scold, y/n. No, the tone he took with her was always so soft, but held a tad of reprimand, as if to say 'Yuna you know better.’
And Yuna did know better. But some things took time.
'Kenta.’ She replied, doing her best to push aside the nagging voice in the back of her head that agreed with him.
Yuna sighed when Kenta put his tablet down and crossed the kitchen toward her.
He circled his arm around her waist, and aligned her against his body.
Yuna straightened up, and though she had every intention of breaking his hold so she could think more clearly, and negate any chances of being coerced into doing anything she wasn’t ready for, her body sunk into his hold.
'I saw what happened last night,’ he whispered to her, his breath tickling her nape.
'So?’ Yuna bit back.
'You asked her,’ he dropped a tender kiss on the exposed skin on her shoulder, 'how would she feel, if she was you. But Yu, what would you do, if you were her?'
Yuna swallowed hard, doing her best to hide the breath that was knocked out of her. 'I would have given her a choice.’
Yuna gasped as Kenta bit her. Hard. 'Liar,’ he murmured against her skin.
Yuna blinked back tears. Because Kenta was right. If she was y/n, she would want y/n safe from harm. Removing her, and her safety, and any other weakness, would help her think, find a way through the situation.
Especially if she was the only one meant to be looking down the barrel of a gun.
Because collateral damage was a bigger burden to bear.
But Yuna would still be stubborn. She just needed a day. One day. Just to wallow in her self-pity before making things right. 'I’ll see her tomorrow.’
Kenta stopped with his ministrations. Yuna almost heard his jaw snap shut..
'Maiya played a recording of Namjoon and her. Of that night.’
Yuna whirled around, the shock jolting her out of her internal war. 'What the fuck?!'
Kenta nodded solemnly. 'She played it. In front of everyone.’
Ohmygod. Yuna covered her mouth with her hand. The pain and the humiliation. It was nothing short of a nightmare.
'And they were just about making things work.’ She leaned into Kenta and placed her head on his arm. 'What did y/n do?'
Kenta’s arms came around her. 'Y/n slapped her.’ Yes, y/n!
He placed a tender kiss on Yuna’s head. 'Had to hold her back from doing more.
Then I let go, which was what she was waiting for, Huru took over, then Namjoon punched him…’
'God, what the hell didn’t happen last night?’ Yuna pulled away. 'And what do you mean Namjoon punched Huru, for what exactly?'
'Well, Huru seems to have finally found someone he likes. Someone that gets past his cold robolike exterior.’
Yuna fisted her hands in his shirt. 'No.’
Kenta sighed, dropping his head. 'Yeah.’
'Are you fucking with me?’ Yuna bent her head and looked into Kenta’s face to make sure. 'Y/n? Kim Y/n? Married to Kim Namjoon, Kim Y/n?'
The situation would have been comical in any other setting.
'Holy, fuck.’ Yuna turned away and held her head. So much had happened. So much had gone down. And instead of being there for her best friend, Yuna pushed her away, giving in to a vindictive part of herself she told y/n to leave her alone, all when y/n needed her the most.
'How,’ Yuna burst into tears. 'How the fuck, does she go through these things?’ Kenta closed his arms around her again and held her to him.
'How, Ken!’ Yuna sobbed. 'She’s been through so much, so fucking much. How does she survive this? She looks at him like he’s her whole world. She’s discovered so much about herself, based on his existence, based on his work and music, and his whole… persona. How does she recover when all of that is shattered? Who does she go to?’
'We just gotta remind her she still has us, baby.’ Kenta swayed from side to side. 'She’s strong.’
'But just because a person is strong, it doesn’t mean they should be pushed until they break. It’s not fair! Fuck!’ He shook with the force of her frustration.
'Hey, hey, this is your soulmate we’re talking about, she is capable of… well anything at this point.’
'I know.’ She did know. Y/n never gave in. And she never gave up. 'I know she won’t leave him. We know she won’t.’
'So she’ll get through it.’ Kenta bent his head to nip at her lower lip. Grounding her in his own way.
'That’s going to be so hard.’ Yuna learned further into Kenta’s hold, fearing for her best friend, and what came next. 'And we’re leaving soon.’
Yuna knew y/n. She wouldn’t turn to anyone. She would confide in her husband, and her family, but none of them were Yuna, and they could never be Yuna.
'We’ll remind her that we are just a phone call away.’
Straight to the point, her fiance.
It’s not like she could deny it. She couldn’t walk away from her own project and she wouldn’t live with herself if she did. Not to mention, y/n, angry or not, would kick her ass. Literally.
That only left making amends. Yuna and y/n had to be on the same page. So y/n knew that her soulmate actually was just a phone call away.
'You always get your way.’ Yuna complained, knowing she was about to leave her house and do exactly that.
Kenta chuckled lightly. Understanding her. Knowing her. Foreseeing her next step somehow. 'Funny. I feel the same with you.’
*
‘Where the hell did she get someone with that type of knowledge?’ Bree paced and made gestures with her hand.
Yuna could tell, Bree wasn’t just mad about the fact that someone had bypassed all the safety measures she had in place at Orbit, but Bree seemed to be pissed on y/n’s behalf.
And Yuna couldn’t blame her. Y/n was very…dependable. It was easy to pick up the phone and dial your best friend. For a favour, a helping hand or an ear to listen.
Y/n seemed to be a human reminder that no matter what a person thought or felt, or did, and no matter what they were going through, they weren’t alone.
Yuna had her fair share of bouts of jealousy when people flocked to y/n for life advice or career advice and offered her shoulder to cry on when their hearts were broken. Yuna would be lying if she didn’t admit that she always had an insecurity about her position with y/n, but not because of y/n herself, or anything she did, but because y/n was such a better person than she was.
And she thought that many more people had better to offer y/n.
‘They had to have some sort of tech background.’ Kenta turned back to them. ‘Maybe tech, or even security… it’s very clean.’
His tone sent a shiver up Yuna’s spine. But he was right. Yuna watched Maiya approach the bar, sit down, nothing in hand except her phone as Bree stated, and a second later, her hands were full and she was leaving.
Whoever Maiya had met clearly didn’t want to be seen, but that would mean that this was deeper than it looked. Maiya was a pawn.
Almost too perfect.
Kenta had been repeating that since last night, because he’d had an inkling that Maiya was not the mastermind. The crazy lady with the gun was supposed to look like ‘a’ crazy lady with a gun.
'This puts my whole club at risk.’ Bree placed her hands on her hips and bit at her bottom lip. 'What do you recommend, Ken?'
Kenta didn’t answer immediately. And Yuna being Yuna, knowing Kenta like the back of her hand, understood that the tick at his jaw meant he was trying not to snap at Bree.
And with good reason. Bree was as much of a victim as anyone.
No one could have predicted any of what took place the night before.
'I think whoever got through your systems only did it for that specific incident. All the evidence points to it being planned. And as such, they or he or she or whatever, has no reason to do it again. As long as y/n is not in the club or her activities pertaining to Orbit are not broadcasted.’
A slow blink from Bree. 'Are you trying to tell me that this happened because it was a known thing that y/n was gonna be in my club?’
Oh no.
'It certainly made things easier.’
'I can’t believe you.’ Bree huffed a laugh. 'Y/n frequents Orbit even if she’s not sticking around to party, and you know that.’ Bree pointed to herself, lip curled up in a snarl. 'It happened in my club. MINE! My walk-ins can afford to buy me out, that’s how rich they are. And if they’re that rich, they’re thatimportant.
The safety of every woman in VIP3 last night was my responsibility and I get that! But I didn’t see this coming and neither did you! So stop trying to act like you’re the only one that gives a fuck!’
'Oh-kay!’ Yuna stood up and clapped her hands together. 'Let’s keep level heads, it’s no one’s fault. Y/n would bite your head off for insinuating it,’ Yuna side-eyed her fiancé. 'And, Bree, what you can do, is maybe invest in a new system, or even upgrade, because I can tell you’re not very satisfied with the off chance that anyone could get into your system when the mood strikes.’
'I’ll give you some recommendations if –,’ Kenta started
'Don’t bother.'
Yuna raised her eyebrows and stared Bree down until she relaxed her defensive stance.
'I mean yes, sure, you can.’ Bree finally gave in, but didn’t look back at Kenta as she addressed him. 'But it’s secondary to what you actually need to do right now. Which is to figure this shit out.’ She motioned to the monitor.
Speaking of… 'Did anyone get in contact with you to reimburse you for the damages? The vent, the stock at the bar where the team had their scuffle, and the door of VIP3, and whatever else…?'
Bree chuckled lightly. 'Yeah, in fact Ria called me to do that, on behalf of Arem and Jin did the same on behalf of the band, but Sylo already got on it by the time they called up.’
Yuna was glad. Bree wouldn’t claim on account of her being a friend. And she had the money to make up for whatever the costs were. But Y/n and Yuna always agreed on the inch spacing between business and personal life.
'Well then, if that’s out of the way, I think I’ll go and find my best friend now.’ Yuna pulled Bree in for a hug. 'I’m so sorry this happened at Orbit, Bree. I’m sorry about last night’s loss on account of’ throwing people out and shacking up in your office,’ Yuna looked up at the ceiling, '… all of this.’
'Shit happens.’ Bree pulled away and shrugged. 'I’m just honestly glad Y/n’s okay.’
Yuna thought the same.
Kenta cleared his throat just as Yuna was grabbing her bag. 'I apologise.’
Yuna almost smiled at the random apology. Kenta was like that. Once he knew the next step, and what needed to be done, rather get it out of the way.
'Noted. And ditto. I was… frustrated.'
A curt nod and Kenta was holding the door open for them to leave.
'I’ll keep you updated,’ Yuna heard him call over her shoulder.
'Appreciate it. I’ll touch base with the employee that called in sick last night, and let you know if I learn anything new.’
Yuna would have asked why the harddrive would stay in Bree’s office, but she knew her fiancé a little too well. A copy of his own would be stored away somewhere, he would have made sure of it.
———–
The Kims - the night before…
-Prisoner - Raphael Lake, Aaron Levy, Daniel Ryan Murphy
###
'Mmhhh,’ he moaned, and he leaned further into the sensations he felt.
Delicate fingers on his chest, and thighs encasing his own.
But y/n’s lips were the real reason he knew he had to be dreaming. She nipped at his jaw and left a trail of open mouthed kisses along his neck down to his shoulder.
He was helpless in need of his wife. She turned him inside out, with his love and his words and her touch.
He loved when she caressed his arms, and nipped at his lips when she kissed him, marked and played with him and peppered sweet nothings on his skin, making sure that he knew how much she loved him as he was, scars and all.
He loved being adored by her.
And it had been a long time since he was shown that kind of attention.
'Fuck,’ he bucked up into the warmth he felt between her thighs. She was open, and pliant and rubbing her core against his cock, and it was all too good to be true.
He had to be dreaming.
Some sort of double back from the events of the night and his mind’s way of providing a perverse sense of comfort.
'Joon, I need you.’
His eyes flew open and as heated as he was moments ago, he felt like he’d been doused with cold water.
It was real. His wife was on top of him, on his cock and she was fucking naked.
He panicked. 'Y/n, what are you –,'
He broke off with a groan as she scored her nails over his pecs and down to his stomach.
Fuck. It had been so long, too long.
His fingers fisted in the sheets. If he reached for her, touched her, gripped her thighs, or made any contact at all, he couldn’t trust himself, he would not be able to hold back.
'Baby, what are you doing?’ His sleep ridden voice was rough, even to his own ears.
'God you sound so sexy like that,’ she lowered her lips and kissed her way down to his navel.
'You need to move, y/n,’ he growled, 'we can’t do this.’
She stopped. Thank fuck. But only to lift her head and regard him. 'Do you not want me?'
What the fuck?
'Of course I want you,’ he replied sharply, 'but this…this-isn’t the right time.’
'But I want this.’ She dropped her gaze and trailed a finger below his navel, down to his cock.
Hell if she thought this conversation was over.
He lifted his body up, knowing full well he’d be able to carry her off him, and put some distance to get their heads screwed on straight.
She just needed a bit of space, then she would start thinking again.
She pushed him flat on his back and she rocked into him, making his cock jerk. 'I can do all the work, I want this, I want you inside me.'
It was all he could do not to grab her round ass and pull her onto his hard on – it would be so easy to find his way home.
This was such a bad idea. They’d both been through hell and back, in their lives and their marriage, and sexual deprivation at this point was an understatement.
'It’s not about the work, y/n. Fuck, baby, please you’re driving me insane.’
He couldn’t resist, as her slick entrance coated his cock and he grit his teeth, doing his best to breathe through his body’s instinct to give into what he craved.
He had to hold back. He had to. When she woke up, when she opened her eyes and her brain was less foggy, she would hate him. She would hate him for taking advantage and for giving in and not doing more to stop her. He couldn’t handle seeing that look of disappointment in y/n again.
'Touch me, Namjoon.’ She grabbed his hands and placed one at her waist and the other on her breast – it took everything in him to let it fall away.
She frowned at his hand then whispered softly, 'You want me? Right?'
A flash of pain tore through his chest. 'It’s not that simple, baby.’
'It is,’ she forced the issue. 'You think I’m beautiful,’ her pout almost did him in. 'You want me, I know you do,’ she took his length in her hand. 'This tells me everything I need to know.’
Throwing his head back at the feel of her fingers around him, after weeks of wishing and imagining and dreaming about this, he was embarrassed to admit he was so close to cumming right there in her hand as she stroked him.
'Y/n, please,’ he choked out, 'baby we need to talk about this. We aren’t ready.’
He was sure his cock was about to explode and he was losing his fucking mind.
'We’ve talked enough,’ her gruff tone doing all sorts of things to his dominant side. ‘I don’t want to talk. I want to make love with you.’
Warmth seared his blood at her words.
'I love you, y/n. And there’s nothing more that I want, then to be inside you, to claim you and remind ourselves who we belong to.’
'Then do it, make me wet, make me moan, make me cum so hard that my body shatters for you.’
His wife sounded so soft, and so lost and so vulnerable. It was all he could do not to gather her in his arms and hold her to him, to hide her from the world.
He shook his head, willing himself to be strong, not trusting himself to say the right words.
'Fine!’ The sudden coldness in her tone, had him gaining some sense of clarity. 'I’ll do it myself.’
At first he thought she meant she would touch herself. And though he’d seen it before and he would love to watch, he also knew what kind of torture it was for y/n to stroke herself to orgasm.
True to herself and her nature, y/n knew her body and how slow or how fast she needed to go to draw out her pleasure or give herself a hard and fast release. She knew her spots, how deep and the exact pressure necessary for her clit.
Namjoon was a fast learner.
Which meant that he could be doing the exact same thing to her, pleasure doubled – for her because he knew her inside out and for him, because he was the only one that did.
But his wife did him one better. True to her words from earlier, about him being hers, and only hers, she gave his cock an experimental squeeze that had him seeing stars for a second and he felt her move to position herself above him.
He blinked and when found his cock lining her soaked entrance, he had to muster whatever last bit of logic he had left to do what he did next.
'Y/n!’ He grabbed both her wrists and pulled her on top of him. 'You’ve had a fucking long night.’ He glared at her down his nose, and pushed aside the fact that her amazing breasts were flush against his chest. 'And you are not thinking straight right now. You need to stop!'
But to his surprise, her face screwed up in pain. 'I want you to touch me, Joon. I want your hands on my body,’ she whimpered. 'I want your fingers inside me and I want to feel you, all over, until there’s nothing and no one else.’ She didn’t cry, but he could tell she was at the edge. 'I need this. I need you.’
Her words reached into him and latched onto his soul, into a part of him that no one else could ever touch, could ever have access to. ‘I don’t want you to wake up and hate me, y/n.’ He cupped her cheek. ‘I don’t have that in me.’
'I’m thinking straight. I am.’ He heard her words, but he was still hesitant. 'I could never hate you. I would never.’ She whispered against his lips. 'We’ve already established as much. Whatever mistakes, whatever regrets we’ve had, you will never be one of them.’
He breathed hard. 'Y/n.’
She carefully lifted herself off his chest, and pulled him up with her. 'Please.’ All she had to do was whisper the plea, and he was mush, he was a goner – he obeyed her willingly.
Taking his hand again, she brought it to her breast, and squeezed the mound with his hand, and this time he reveled in the sensation. He loved his wife’s body. He loved when he could grip the supple flesh like he owned her, which in his mind he did. He loved showing her how much her scars and her stretch marks and any mark marring her skin wasn’t as relevant as the ones his fingers and his teeth made to mark her as his own.
He loved trailing his tongue through every nook and crevice and reveled in her whimpers and her soft sounds of satisfaction as he slowly brought her to the edge, making her lose herself in the pleasure he could give her.
By her reaction, when he pinched the hard bud between his fingers, the way she tilted her head back and left her body open to his eyes and his exploration, she would allow him to do as he pleased.
The need put him together, her trust ripped him apart and he didn’t have the strength to fight the need anymore.
Flipping her onto her back he grabbed both her wrists and held them above her head in one hand. He let her feel his strength, his body holding her in place.
He’d made some fucked up mistakes already. Broken promises that would forever change their bond and make who they were before all of this something irreparable.
But he would have to trust her.
She came to him, and asked of him, only something he could give her. And if he could help, make it better, in anyway, in any form, even if it was sex, even if some part of him knew it was a temporary fix, he would give it to her.
He reached between their bodies and used his freehand to play with the bundle of nerves between her wet folds. Her gasp was music to his ears, and he almost lost it when he slid a finger inside her to find her so ready for him. 'So warm, so wet, all for me,’ he kissed her cheek lightly when she replied with an 'only you’ and slid a second finger as she lifted her body to meet them. 'Are you sure, baby?'
He needed to ask one more time. It was a long shot, and he didn’t know how he could turn back now when his fingers were deep inside her, but he had to ask.
She kept her eyes closed as she nodded and he bent down to nip at her earlobe. 'Look at me, and give me an answer.’
Her eyes lit up with the type of ferocity he would welcome any day over the sadness and the pain. 'Yes, I’m sure,’ she lifted her head to bite at his bottom lip, 'now fuck me!'
In his head his pride struggled against its chains, and his ego sported a feral smirk.That’s his y/n.
Her demand blazed a challenge in his blood. It had been too fucking long since he’d claimed her.
He pumped his fingers and played with her just the way she liked it. Hard circular motions on her clit, and fast pumps with his fingers.
He felt her thighs quiver, and watched her face contort with a flurry of emotions.
It had been too long. For her and for him.
He hadn’t been inside her for months, the same way she had felt empty without him filling her.
She bit her lip to keep her moans at bay, but he hit her sweet spot to make sure that didn’t happen for long.
'Oh god, right there,’ She tried to struggled against his grip on her wrists but he didn’t let up. She wanted to lose herself in sensation and he would give her that.
'I love when you ride my fingers, y/n. So fucking beautiful.’ The temptation was too close and too much to bear so he bent his head and took a nipple in his mouth. She hissed and arched her body toward him as he rolled his tongue over the hardened bud and teased by grazing his teeth across the edges.
'Fuck, I’m close.’ She said as she continued to rock to meet his fingers.
He felt it, he felt her muscles contract around his fingers and just when she was about to go over the edge, he pulled out.
'What the fuck!’ She was furious enough to break off his hold.
He wanted her that way. He needed her to be angry. He needed to hear her. He needed her. He needed her so much.
Gripping her thighs, he opened her legs and positioned himself at her entrance.'You’ll come when I tell you to come.’ He ordered.
'Like hell!’ She lifted her body off the bed and raised her chin in challenge. 'I can easily get off with my own fingers if you won’t do the job, right.’
'Oh yeah,’ he kept his eyes on her and he ran his tongue across her neglected nipple, 'Then why did you come to me?’
Her mouth shut and her lips screwed up tight and her body followed his mouth when he pulled away.
He rested his body on his hands, ghosting his lips against her jaw, against her chin. 'It’s me, it’s always me. It’s always been me.’
She swallowed audibly.
'Admit it,’ he growled, as he held himself above her, making it clear that he would be inside her already if she would stop being stubborn.
This was the thrill of it. This was the intimacy and the love and the chemistry involved. A compliant y/n was not actually y/n and it wasn’t any fun.
But making her admit it, challenging her and pushing her and edging her, that got her off as well as him.
He peeked down between her open legs, her pussy called to him. The musk of her that was so uniquely y/n made him feel heady and out of sorts, but he waited it out. He would always wait for her. Because y/n would always give in, only ever to him.
His fingers circled his cock and he teased her entrance, coating the tip with her juices, knowing that the simple ministrations would drive her insane.
He knew when it happened, when she gave in. He didn’t know how, and he didn’t want to question it, nor could he describe the change. But somehow she was… softer, more… breakable.
'It’s always you.’ She met his eyes and the moment would forever remain etched in his mind. 'It’s only ever going to be you. I need you.’ She squirmed and pushed forward to meet his length, but he pushed her flat on her back, splaying his large hand over her abdomen.
Never one to just roll over and take it, y/n raised her hips to meet his cock. 'Now, please fuck me,’ her hands caressed his back and she let him feel her nails, to drive her point home, 'please let me come.'
He snarled at the slight sting. Fuck any right or any possible wrong in that moment, because he couldn’t hold back any longer.
He grabbed her ass and heard her cry out as he buried himself deep.
His forehead dropped to hers, and he stilled trying catch his breath, catching hers instead, and let her adjust to his size again.
He felt her fit so perfectly around his cock, her muscles adapting around him, squeezing him already. She was only ever made for him.
'I missed you.’ Y/n admitted, her face screwed up in a mix of pleasure and pain.
He hummed as he pulled out slowly, and slammed back in and he knew right then, that slow and easy was not gonna cut it. Not this time round. ’Fuck,there’s no way I’m going to last long.'
Her fingers found purchase in his hair, tugging lightly in exquisite pleasure-pain. 'Then you better get going.’ Her nose brushed against his.
He thrust once, twice, and then set a pace as she met his hips with her own. 'Harder,’ her own hands pulled him impossibly further into her body, 'yes, d-don’t stop!’
Her nails scored down his back and he thrust himself right to the hilt. Fuck.
His wife’s body, her plush breasts that she squeezed just the way she liked as he worked her pussy, her openness and vulnerability, it was all his. Only his.
'Oh god, yes. Oh fuck!’ His balls drew up and he knew he was almost there. But hell if he wasn’t going to take his wife with him.
He reached between their bodies again and stroked her bundle of nerves until she contracted around his cock, bringing him more pleasure than he could fathom.
'Namjoon,’ she arched up into his hand, her hips clamped down and he knew she was at that point.
'Let go for me, baby. I’m right here. I have you.’
She continued to hold onto her release, and some part of him knew it was because of instinct, because if she let go now, if she let herself feel, if she let herself shatter, there was no going back.
Sex with y/n was never just sex, would never just be sex, every aspect of her emotional spectrum was tied to it.
He knew he’d have to push her over. She clenched around his cock and he almost saw stars. Using iron grit to keep himself from cumming before she did. Combining his thrusts, and his fingers circling her clit, he bent his head and bit down on the sweet spot between her shoulder and neck.
Immediately, he felt her body give in for her and he watched as she cried out breathlessly.
She squeezed her eyes shut, her back bowed, and her arms held onto him for dear life as the force of her release clamped down on him.
The contractions around his cock were almost too much as he reared up and continued to pump in and out of her as she rode out her orgasm. And he would have held on a bit longer, somehow.
But y/n shifted, brought her lips up to his own neck, and bit down… hard.
And he snapped.
He roared and went blank with the pleasure of his own release and fell into his wife’s waiting arms.
###
———-
Present day
Namjoon awoke with a sense of warmth, a sense of stability he hadn’t had in a long time.
He’d found his wife’s naked form curled up against his body, her head on his chest, their legs tangled around each other with the blankets somewhere in between.
It was warm. It was heaven. It was everything.
He knew how he felt. The sex was the right move, because words were one thing, and promises were a step up, but the night before, with all the pain and the pressure and the rampant emotions, sex somehow… felt like that last step, that brought them together, that made it real.
But he needed to wait and see what y/n’s reaction was.
He stared at her sleeping form, watching her breath softly, and scrunch her nose and he could be kidding himself but he knew she felt safe in his arms, and he felt like there was a certain sense of peace across her features.
He didn’t have to wait long, before she slowly started to wake.
'Mmmmh,’ she opened her eyes and did a luxurious stretch, then snuggled back into him.
She rested her chin back on his chest and peeked up at him. 'Morning.’
Cute. Her voice was muffled and riddled with sleep. Her hair was tousled, bed head combined with a bit of hair pulling and lax, a contrast to the usual rigidity of her shoulders that conveyed her guards were up. To Namjoon’s eyes, she looked fucking gorgeous in this state.
'Hi,’ he offered a hesitant smile.
She frowned and lifted her head. He knew she could tell that the gears in his brain were already spinning. 'You’re worried about my reaction, aren’t you?’ She cut straight to the chase.
He gave a solemn nod.
They were well beyond the 'between the lines’ and words saying one thing and meaning another.
Instead of answering, she moved to straddle him, his hands easily closing over her thighs. And his cock twitched, but holding onto his self-control, he ignored it for the moment.
She gathered her hair and threw it over her shoulder, then placed her palms on his chest. A smile grew ever so slowly on her face and he couldn’t help but return it. Seeing Y/n happy, meant his world was somehow intact.
She giggled. 'That was actually pretty amazing.'
He had to agree.
Playing. She was playing with him. He didn’t know… how to feel about it. It was a good sign, that was for sure.
She stretched her body languidly atop his and he squeezed her thigh in a possessive hold. 'I missed you,’ she murmured, tickling the skin on his chest. She belonged in his arms. She fit so perfectly against him.
Shifting further up, she closed her eyes as her center brushed the tip of his cock. 'No regrets. I promise.’ She whispered against his lips, when she opened her eyes again.
The relief that surged through him threatened to bring him to tears. Unable to help himself, he switched their positions much like the night before, and covered her with his body. She giggled as he planted kisses on her forehead and all over her face then he stopped.
Did she think less of him, after hearing what she heard? Maybe she did and she wouldn’t admit it to protect his feelings. What if her feelings had changed at all?
Looking down at her, he berated himself, because if any of that was actually true, it would be his fault.
He wished he could turn back time. His wife, his y/n, his love, the light of his life, the song in his soul, he wished he could have done so much better by her.
‘Hey,’ she enclosed his cheeks in her palms, ‘Are you okay?’
The question surprised him. Was he that transparent? Of course he was, y/n knew better than anyone else, maybe better than he knew himself.
He still tried to play it off. 'Me? You’re the one that was held at gunpoint.'
'Humiliation,’ she started, her knowing eyes searching his face, her honest concern shining through her own, 'for someone held up in high esteem, is as close to death as one can get.'
He dropped his gaze, battling the emotions inside his body, not wanting to feel any of it. 'I deserved it.’
'No.’ Her response was resolute. 'That was taking it too far. I never asked about the details, because I thought I didn’t really want to know, that it would be too painful. But now I know why,’ she brushed her nose against his, 'it’s not fair to ask you to relive a nightmare.’
'You’re letting me off easy.’ He retorted. He ached inside. Through all the pain, through everything, she still protected him. 'Like you said, she had the ability to use it because I gave her the leverage.’
'You can’t suffer for the same thing twice.’ She ran her fingers through his hair, comforting him. 'What happened yesterday, was not you, it was not about you. You were just collateral damage. But it was damage.’ She placed a tender kiss on his jawline. 'And damage is one thing, we have to work on together. You’re never gonna be alone in anything that you do, Namjoon. Not while I’m around.’
Her words, her concern, her love… it did something to him. Y/n was the one that had been through hell the night before but here she was, checking on him. It was his stability and his strength and his solace she craved and came apart in his arms with a trust that made him want to savage any that dared hurt her, that dare try to take her away from him.
But her soft fingers held him with such a gentleness, that despite the very strength she looked for from him, his tears spilled over onto her chest.
He turned his face into her palm. ‘I’m so sorry, y/n.’ His lip quivered and much like the night before he let his wife see how much his mistake had actually cost him. 'I’m so sorry.’
———-
You held Namjoon as he fell apart and hid his head in your neck and your own tears threatened to spill over.
You weren’t completely out of your mind the night before.
Vulnerable, and raw and slightly off kilter, but you couldn’t hold back anymore.
It may have been unfair, the way you went about it, the desperation in which you asked, almost coerced your husband, but you didn’t regret it, and you could tell, he didn’t either.
Something…changed.
You had said plenty of words, made plenty of promises about being together, about staying together, but coming together again, that passion, the love, a puzzle piece clicked into place.
You had no intention of initiating sex at all. But Namjoon, with his lean, hard body, and muscular planes that all but projected a sense of safety – making love with Namjoon, was as much for him as it was for you.
Last night…
He knew exactly what to do when you gave the greenlight. He used his fingers and took control, reminded you that he knew your body and what to do to drive you into mindless pleasure, and he knew how to get you to submit to him.
In every aspect of your life you had it together, had the upper hand, even in your personal lives your husband let you lead the way, but Namjoon was in charge in the bedroom.
And you loved submitting to him.
Your pussy clenched at the memory of his fingers inside you, the pleasure, the pain, after weeks of ignoring your body’s natural response to your husband.
He stretched you, a beautiful pain that you luxuriated in and took advantage of your sweet spot as he plunged deep, only to be an asshole and stop you right there, just before you crossed the edge, causing you to almost bite his head off in frustration.
You could push Namjoon, fight him, challenge him, force his hand, but one thing he would never relent on, was his control on your pleasure. He’d made it quite clear.
There were no complaints. You knew your role, to be as y/n as you could be, and he knew his, to put you in your place, always.
You closed your eyes against the raw hunger you saw in his own eyes last night. The way he held your thighs open, his growls and groans, the shudder in his body when he finally surged inside you. His commanding voice when he declared he owned your right to cum.
You needed him between your legs, caging you in, holding you down, the wetness glistening on your thighs, the dirty, hot, sex of him plunging in and out of you. The gasps, the moans, the sounds of his flesh meeting yours, his cock brushing up against your sweet spot deep within your core, it ratcheted your need for him to a fever pitch.
The contracting of your inside muscles around him, the orgasm that ripped through your body left you limp, sated, exhausted after such a long while.
You were satisfied. And you knew why. It was an integral need in you, where your body hummed and your blood thundered when Namjoon was near you, like every cell in your body calling to him like a siren song. Sometimes all a woman needed was to rub her body over something hard, hot and male and God you loved being filled. To feel full. And last night you had, because you had only ever given that right to one man. And it would be his right for as long as you lived.
But even better than your satisfaction, was seeing Namjoon’s face tighten as he released into you and came apart in your arms. Only you were privy to that Namjoon. Only you. Unrestricted, unrestrained, Kim Namjoon.
And more so, he knew, he knew with every bone in his body and the very air he breathed, you were his, and his alone.
'I love you, Namjoon.’ You whispered when he was quiet for too long. 'I love you so much.’
You brushed away the treacherous tear that escaped your eye and went back to holding him to you.
'You are more than this mistake, much more. And we can only do better from here on out.'
He lifted his head, and his red rimmed eyes tore into you in a way no physical wound ever could. 'I don’t understand how you’re so strong.’ He shook his head. 'Last night, saving your girls, buying yourself time, and being able to get a handle on your coping mechanism, and now you’re in front of me, reassuring me, taking care of my heart,’ his voice brittle, ‘when I’m the one that broke yours.’
It was only ever yours to break.
He wrapped his arms around you and crushed you to him. 'I don’t deserve you, y/n.’
You let out a wet chuckle. 'No you don’t.’ You touched his forehead to yours. 'But you have me. You have me, Namjoon. You will always have me.’
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Part 26 || Ascension
Part 27 -coming soon
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