Summary:You thought you met the man of your dreams, he was everything that you ever wanted, but what happens when that dream falls apart, and what happens when that man is no longer the one you recognise, but you want to love him against all odds because you believe things can be better.
(Minors DNI) | Angst | Fluff | Smut
Word Count: 21201 words Age:18+
Pairings:Professor! Namjoon x Female Reader
Warnings:Age gap between the reader and Namjoon, not massive. He’s 30, and she’s 25, but it’s enough to cause problems. Namjoon is a patronising little shit in this. Yelling, swearing, crying, arguments, toxic couple behaviours, smut, unprotected sex (don’t do this). Fingering, oral (male and female receiving) shower sex, multiple orgasms, squirting. Using sex as an apology. Toxic relationship and a lot of shitty behaviour.
Authors Note 1: To@aglassofpinkchampagne thank you for the headers. These are all so beautiful and so well done. I cannot even thank you enough for this. I adore you endlessly, thank you.
Authors Note 2: To@go1denjeon my fellow swiftie, thank you for being an angel ✌ and agreeing to beta reading the entire series (which I’m so sorry for the word counts already), but you’re a sweetheart, and I’m forever grateful.
Final Note: These stories will be very angsty and heartbreaking because they come from real life. This story will especially characterise Namjoon in a less than favourable light, so I ask that you note that these stories are all works of FICTION. I do not believe that any one of them can act like this in real life. So yes, the ideas come from real-life things I’ve gone through, but none of these stories represents the members, for I don’t know them, nor do I claim to. All I’m trying to say is that its fiction
INDIGO I’M SPEECHLESS WHAT A WAY TO START MY READINGS FOR 2022, I LOVED EVERY LITTLE DETAIL OF THIS STORY AND I’M SO IMPRESSED LIKE WOW.
This is so good, seriously. I feel like I shouldn’t be so attached and in love with a toxic romance story, but Indigo, it’s about the way you wrote it. You describe each feeling so perfectly that I feel like I’m inside the story, living the same experience. Even though it’s inspired by the short film for All Too Well I love that you found a way to add your own touch, there’s a lot of you here. I think I have already read too many of your stories that I can already recognize your footprints
Ok first of all you give us the perfect man, I mean, he has a good profile and obviously we all fell for him instantly. And it’s also due to that immediate connection with oc that made him even more perfect. And I also loved how direct she was at the bar I love a woman who doesn’t beat around the bush pffft she got straight to the point and ended up entangled with a Greek God.
And speaking of Greek gods, messing with them always has consequences. I knew you were going to break my heart with this story, but I enjoyed every romantic part between them in the beginning, before it all went to shit. That first date was beautiful and deep inside I wished that things between them would stay like that forever until…
The First Crack in the Glass… ugh! He was a huge jerk to her! Humiliating someone just for not having the same knowledge as you is so wrong! That person probably knows more than you do on other subjects, but he’s so selfish to see it. He just thinks of her as a silly girl who would do anything for him. And then he does it the same in front of his friends they probably just wanted to have a nice night and meet his friend’s girlfriend. No, but he HAD TO increase his feeling of superiority and make her look stupid in front of others, I just want to punch him in the face so hard All his arguments in the fight after that were so wrong, but of course a manipulative and self-centered person like him would get away with it and be forgiven.
THE WHOLE YOONA SITUATION GOT ME SO FRUSTRATED not him hiding the fact that they are colleagues and see each other practically every day. And what did she say to oc? Girl that was your signal, but hey she kept trusting him because she is a better person than him. But then again, he used sex as an apology because he’s a coward omg.
She gave him too many chances and the only thing he did for her was getting things worse. She almost lost her best friend for defending an idiot like him, all because she kept seeing the bright side of him and was hopeful that maybe things could get better later on.
I was so outraged during The Breaking Point bc he didn’t deserve another chance with her, but she still gave it to him and ugh only for him to screw it up again with his selfishness and the idea of the perfect woman. And that plot twist with Yoona oof that’s so true my friend, she definitely dodged a bullet there and was able to heal all of her wounds. AND I’M SO HAPPY THAT SHE MOVED THE FUCK ON AND THAT HE WAS THERE TO SEE IT OMG INDIGO UR THE BEST! SEE NAMJOON SHE DOESN’T NEED YOU
Indigo, my love, you killed it with this story omg AGAIN one of your best works, I am already very excited to read the rest of this series I hope that all those who have gone through a situation similar to this have already healed their wounds and found happiness in something better. And for those who feel like their relationship is turning into this, a vicious cycle of insecurity and frustration, I hope they can find a way to get out of there and move on with their lives.
Thank you thank you thank you for your writing, my dear. It always makes me happy every time you post something and this story is so good that I’m sad but also smiling a lot bc I’m so proud of you lots of love
➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.
↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader
↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut
There is nothing that Namjoon despises more than waking up to a warm morning with vicious throbbing happening inside his head.
The ache feels so potent that he can hear the sound of each throb echoing against his temple. He can even feel it all the way to his toes, feel how the world seems to move with it even when he is still lying in bed, unmoving. The kind of feeling that is completely unwelcome that he dreads opening his eyes.
He may not have always been a morning person, but Namjoon isn’t someone who would find himself in this predicament during a regular weekday, jeopardising what should have been a normally productive day for him. For years, Namjoon has maintained an image of himself where he is in complete control of his own self and need, always knows how to keep his composure in any given situation possible.
And yet, for the first time, he finds himself breaking all the rules and habits that he has created for himself. He can feel that contentment and control slipping out of his fingers only because he gave in to his sorrow. Even his body feels as if it is no longer his own, when every move he makes becomes a struggle and whatever he does only escalates it further.
Fucking hangover.
The entire room seems to tilt over whenever he tries to get up, while the spinning still doesn’t stop even when he closes his eyes to put everything to a halt, just like how he feels his world tilting and spinning in all directions. And it has been this way ever since the night he saw you at Bovine.
When his headache becomes too much, Namjoon gives up on trying and falls back on the bed. So far, his memory is a bit fuzzy and unclear. But as the pulsing headache slowly becomes numb, and just when he is not forcing himself to remember, they simply return to him, random bits and pieces of what had happened—starting from the night before to all day yesterday and then ending on the events unfolding just last night—come flooding back to him.
He remembers coming home late from the studio two nights ago, pissed at himself and feeling incredibly frustrated after his encounter with Jungkook that he decided to grab a bottle of liquor to soothe his uneasiness and wash down the aggravation that followed him home. Things didn’t turn better the next day, when he heard nothing from Jungkook and after he found out that his friend didn’t even make it to work.
Feeling lost, and distraught, thinking that Jungkook might have decided to spend the day with you to salvage and find some reassurance in his relationship with you, Namjoon spent the entire day being holed up inside his home, wallowing in his misery with the collection of liquors that he had kept in his home. He must have passed out or fallen asleep at some point because the next thing he realised, he had lost an entire day as it went past him. It was a miracle that he didn’t poison himself with all that alcohol, though he did remember stopping once in a while and the short naps he had in between helped him sober up each time. And yet even as time went by, even after all the effort that he had done to wash everything away with those liquors, the unsettling feeling inside his chest still lingered, as if it had been rooted so deeply inside him ever since the moment he had the talk with Jungkook.
It was sometime around sundown when he was awakened from another nap by the quick call that his assistant made to him from the lobby, notifying him about a guest who had come asking for him. The nap did so little to sober him up, and yet he made it to reach the front door, even with a few struggles as he tried not to stumble or fall over the coffee table on his way there.
The urgency of the phone call and how his assistant had stressed that he needed to hurry made him think that perhaps there was an emergency, something so urgent that he needed to deal with that nobody else could. He clearly was not expecting to find that the surprise guest that his assistant had sent to his door would be you.
It had taken him quite some time to process what he was seeing. At first, he had thought that he was dreaming when he saw you standing right outside of his home not too long after he was mulling over his situation with you. But then you charged at him, shoving him in anger and the pain he felt in his chest was enough to let him know that it was real. And he took every single thing you were throwing at him—every punch you gave to his chest and every word you screamed at him—so willingly. Because even in his haze, he still knew that he was responsible for everything that was happening.
That he was the reason why you were here.
And then you broke down right in front of him, and he nearly fell down with you when seeing you in that state had made him feel weak. Even now, as he is struggling to recover from his hangover, the dread that he felt from that moment still lingers inside him.
Once he feels steady enough to sit up, Namjoon leans back against the headrest, rubbing his palm across his bare chest as he can still feel the ghost of your touch that he had gotten from the moment you pushed him away and the fading warmth that he felt when he took you in his arms. The pain that you had inflicted on him was nothing compared to what he is feeling inside, though he knows now that he was also far too numb to feel anything last night compared to how raw he is feeling everything now.
But does he have a right to complain when he knows that you might be feeling more pain after what had happened? When what you had experienced had been too unbearable for you to deal with that not even his touch or his embrace had been enough to fix you.
That was why he had accepted everything that you gave him. Because he understood. And he took you in his arms because he understood how much you needed someone to hold you up and keep you from falling. Even if he couldn’t erase your pain, he knew that he had to offer you what he could give you then.
Although it doesn’t exactly justify what he did next.
It is the feeling of rage and disappointment that he has in himself that forces him to get up and leave his bed. He wastes no time and quickly freshens up, getting himself ready to face the repercussions as he marches out of his bedroom with the constant throbbing in his head accompanying every step he makes.
As he trots down his empty and silent home to reach the kitchen, Namjoon’s eyes linger on the locked door of the guest bedroom, the only other room in his penthouse that has rarely been used. Knowing what is waiting from the other side of the bedroom door gives him a sense of longing, even if he knows that he doesn’t deserve to even hope that something good may happen. Looking away from the room, his gaze falls on the foyer instead, right at the corner where he held you tight last night in his arms, holding you as an anchor that kept you from falling apart.
When he closes his eyes, he can still sense everything from that moment. Your warmth, the scent of your shampoo, the way you fit perfectly in his arms and how right it felt when you laid your head on his shoulder. That moment had been short, and yet it was still enough to make him feel complete. He felt as if his soul was awakened then, as if there had been a huge hole inside him that he kept carrying with him for years and you had managed to fill it so easily just by falling into his arms.
He had welcomed that feeling, just as he had welcomed his punishment from you. And he still remembers promising himself not to let you go, that he would always hold you up the same way, that he would never take any of it for granted just as long as he could keep you in his arms for as long as he could.
If only he didn’t royally fuck up right after, and let every chance of making it happen to slip away from his hands almost too soon.
Tormented by his guilt, Namjoon becomes determined to make things right. But first, he needs to make sure that he would do it while sober and that he would do everything the right way. While he has the coffee brewing on the kitchen counter, he picks up the phone and contacts the staff to take that first step of redeeming himself.
“Yes, sir?”
Namjoon clears his throat and keeps his voice low when he responds to his assistant. “Can you have the cook send out a complete breakfast set to my loft, please?”
“Anything specific, sir?”
Thinking and talking only worsen the ache lingering in his head. Closing his eyes, he presses his fingers on the bridge of his nose to try and stop his headache from rapidly increasing. “Nothing—just get me today’s special and some fresh fruit,” he says before quickly adding, “Make that two sets of everything.”
A movement catches his attention just as he ends the phone call, and he looks over to the guest bedroom and finds you standing in the doorway, looking like a deer caught in a headlight with your eyes looking around warily and your fingers fidgeting, as if you need to hold onto something to stop yourself from falling down again.
But what has his chest grow tight is the sight of you wearing his t-shirt, how it seems to be hanging loose on your body and its hem falling on your thighs. And he cannot deny how good it makes him feel to see you wearing something of his. The possessiveness that is building up inside him is driving him crazy, even more than how alcohol had driven his sanity to nothing but an intangible mess when he was supposed to be in control, even if it was only to offer support when you had most needed one.
His heartbeat starts pacing rapidly as he looks at your face and catches your eyes looking back at him, and more images from last night come rushing back to him. Not only for the comfortable warmth that he felt when he was holding you, but also for the cold realisation of how hurtful his actions had been to you last night.
“Perhaps it is a good thing that he is gone. Have you forgotten? You were supposed to be mine. Always have been.”
The dick comment that came out of his mouth makes him wince when he remembers ever voicing it out loud. He should have been consoling you instead of being a jackass about it and acted as if he was celebrating while you were in pain.
Namjoon would never be able to forget your reaction that came right after he said those things to you—the crestfallen look that took up your entire face, the pain in your eyes that became clear to him when they widened in shock after hearing his words, and how you pulled back so quickly, leaving Namjoon feeling mesmerised and too stunned to notice what you were about to do until it was too late. He didn’t realise what was happening until your palm landed right on his cheek and the sound of the loud slap you had landed on his face echoed through the foyer. He didn’t realise what had happened until his skin stung and the horrified gasp you made snapped him out of his shock.
Just as he recounts that very moment, his hand comes up to his cheek, touching the numbing pain on his skin. He is not entirely sure which one hurts the most—the slap of your palm that seems to linger or the constricting pain inside his chest that keeps rising and building when he tried to imagine what you were feeling then. But then everything comes to a halt once he looks at you again, the sight of you being engulfed in his oversized shirt and the knowledge that you had slept on his bed seems to calm his restless soul.
You clear your throat, looking flustered as you avoid his gaze while you remain standing there. “I think I should go…,” you murmur softly with a hoarse voice. “I know that I’ve overstayed my welcome. I shouldn’t have stayed anyway.”
“I was the one who offered. I couldn’t let you leave in the state that you were in last night,” Namjoon quickly says, wincing when he remembers how that night had ended. How right after you slapped him and while he was stunned into silence, you had somehow realised that he had been drunk when he opened the door for you, and how it pushed you to go around his kitchen and living room to find the missing bottle of liquor that he had left behind. His chest tightens when he recalls how you had then grabbed the bottle and started drinking your pain away, and how he couldn’t stop himself when—
Clearing his throat, Namjoon shakes the thoughts away and forces a smile. “And I don’t believe you are ready to go either. Why don’t you stay a bit longer and take your time until you settle down? At least stay for coffee and join me for breakfast. Maybe we can start all over and then later on, if you’d let me, I can lend my ear to listen or my shoulder to cry on if you want to.”
You open your mouth—ready to refuse him, no doubt—but stop yourself when you look conflicted. Knowing that you are at least considering it, Namjoon jumps at the chance and asks again,
“Please. It’s the least that I could do,” he says, quickly biting on his tongue to stop himself from saying, ’—after acting like such a schmuck to you last night.’
“We haven’t had a chance to talk either, have we? For us to talk properly, I mean, and without yelling at each other and while we are both sober,” he adds later on, drawing a smile to your face when you seem to realise that he is right. Namjoon’s lips turn to a wry smile when he realises that he had wasted the last few chances he had to talk to you before, how it had always ended with the both of you yelling hurtful things to each other instead of trying to figure out how to deal with the situation.
“Okay,” you whisper after a moment of silence, much to his relief, though he is still surprised that you would agree with him. Your gaze flickers toward the coffee machine as you sigh, before you meet his gaze again. “But I should probably freshen up real quick. Would you mind if I use the shower?” you ask him as you tilt your head towards the en-suite bathroom inside the room you had been sleeping in.
“By all means, help yourself,” Namjoon says with a genuine smile on his face, trying his best to hold back from adding—
Everything in this place will also be yours anyway. All of it.
It took you about 30 minutes to finish washing up.
Though it might have been more. You just know that you have lost track of time as you indulged in the luxury that the marvellous hot shower inside Namjoon’s en-suite bathroom had provided you.
It had not been your intention to stay that long in the shower, but after spending the first five minutes admiring his spacious guest bathroom and its entire fancy setup, it took you another five minutes filled with a lengthy pep talk about how much you deserved to enjoy this moment after what you have gone through before you could finally step into the shower. And you were soon filled with relief that you had talked yourself into taking it when you realised how good it felt as the hot water came running down your body. It almost felt like everything was being washed away—your fear, your pain, whatever was left from last night’s debacle—while the falling water felt more like magical fingers massaging your tense muscles until you could slowly relax. It had been too good and it felt like such a waste to step out early that you stayed longer than you should have, and you had only left when the hot water seemed to cool down and once your stomach began to protest, begging for breakfast.
After coming here completely on impulse and without carrying any personal belongings other than your small purse, you had worried about not having anything to change into. You can only sigh in defeat at the thought of the clothes that you were wearing yesterday turning into a complete mess after spilling some alcohol on yourself at some point following your impulsive act of barging into his home—hence why Namjoon had let you wear his t-shirt when it was somehow decided that you were staying for the night.
You had settled to the thought of wearing your dirty clothes again after your relaxing shower, telling yourself that you would only need to wear them on your way home anyway. But as you step out of the bathroom, wrapped in a fuzzy towel that you had found in the vanity earlier, you are surprised to find a pair of grey sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt left on the bed for you.
Taking no time to dress up, you bite down the smile that keeps trying to sneak its way to your face from thinking about how thoughtful he turns out to be. It feels like a complete turnaround after seeing the side of him that he had shown you last night, knowing that he cares enough to figure out about these things before you could.
The lavish breakfast setup and the scent of freshly brewed coffee welcome you when you walk out of the bedroom. For some reason, they bring some sense of warmth into Namjoon’s home, when all you had felt ever since you walked into this place has been nothing but hollowness. The place had seemed cold and so unfamiliar that it took you a lot of effort to feel comfortable when you laid to sleep last night. Seeing the vacant dining seats, you turn to find him standing all the way in the living room, looking out the massive window to watch over the city as it comes to life.
“This is a lot. Were you trying to feed an army?” you comment loudly before you can stop it, gaining his attention as he turns away from the window to look at you. The moment you meet his gaze, the smile on your face just comes to rise so easily, much to your surprise. And his, judging from the way he blinks rapidly as if he cannot believe what he is seeing. “Thank you for the clothes, by the way. I was already preparing myself to get through the day with the same clothes I was wearing yesterday.”
Namjoon smiles and shakes his head. “I thought you’d want something more comfortable to wear to make you feel better after that shower,” he says while making his way to you. The movement seems so natural that it almost feels like he is used to doing this—that he is used to having you here in his home. But Namjoon is quick to catch himself before getting too close, swiftly stopping and going around the table, taking the seat across from the one you are standing close to and putting the necessary distance between the two of you. “Come sit and eat with me.”
For a moment, you still feel hesitant to take his offer. Sitting here at the dining table with him seems too intimate, too soon, and too confusing. But there is something in his presence and in his words that seem to compel you into moving, eliminating every excuse that you could think of to escape as you easily slip into the empty chair right across from him without so much of a word.
The breakfast starts with silence, and for some reason, it feels oddly comfortable rather than it is being awkward to share this moment with him even when you barely know him. Things continue this way until Namjoon clears his throat and speaks first. “I want to apologise,” he starts, stopping briefly until you pay attention to him so he can continue, “I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, that was wrong of me. I won’t even justify my condition as it happened. I was drunk and caught off guard with the situation, but none of those things should give me the excuse to be an asshole.”
Your lips curl up to a small smile before you can stop yourself. “So you do realise that you were being an asshole?”
Namjoon scoffs in response to your teasing, though his shoulders sag in relief somewhat when you merely joke about it instead of yelling at him like how he seemed to have expected you to. “It’s quite hard not to,” he says with a shrug while giving you a remorseful smile that seems genuine. “I shouldn’t have said such a thing when you were going through so much already. Your life had changed irrevocably in the span of, what—hours?—after years of living in the stability which you had built with Jungkook as a huge part of your life. While it sucks for me to think about it, I understood. And it was way out of line for me to say such a thing when what you needed was someone to hold you up while you were falling.”
Once again, you are stunned speechless. His apology was something that you had expected to hear, but you had initially thought that he would simply say “I’m sorry” and then be done with it. And yet here he is, giving you such a lengthy apology and looking so terribly sincere with every word he says that you feel warmth blooming in your chest. There is also something else tugging within you as he was speaking, something that has your heart pumping and coming alive.
“You’re forgiven. For now,” you whisper to him as you return his gaze. With a sigh, you shake your head and murmur softly, “It must’ve been a shock to you when I came here unannounced, and to top it all, I created a scene—” you stop for a moment and your gaze flicker towards the living room, where the ‘scene’ from last night had happened. You wince when you remember how unruly your behaviour had been and add, “—and made a whole mess at your home when you probably wanted to have some alone time. And for that, I owe you an apology too.”
Instead of taking it, Namjoon only shakes his head. “There is no need for that. You were frustrated and needed someone to yell at. Someone you could put the blame on for everything that had gone down and I had been the most eligible bastard who deserved it, so I’m not going to blame you to take that opportunity when you could,” he says with a smile, drawing a chuckle out of you. But then he lowers his gaze, and the look that he is giving you is filled with concern as he watches you from under his eyelids. “Not to mention—it wouldn’t be fair for you to deal with this on your own when I have just as much part in this as you are.”
With his words reminding you of what had happened, the pain returns inside your chest, and you swallow hard to stop it from becoming stronger before it takes away your calm just when you finally start feeling better. Saying nothing about it, you lower your head and nod. “I didn’t know where I should run to,” you whisper, admitting how lost you had felt when Jungkook left. “And you were right, the moment I found out that Jungkook had learned everything from you, I acted out of instinct and rushed out here to—”
You look up at him just then, finding him lifting his eyebrows when you fail to finish your sentence. “To do what?” he asks, speaking softly and teasingly at the same time. “To punish me? To punch my face and release your anger?”
“All of the above, I suppose,” you answer him, allowing a shy grin to take over your face when he simply does the same. Although the grin quickly fades when your gaze falls onto his cheek, seeing the slightly pinkish shade on his skin which seems to take its time to fade and feeling the tingle on your palm that returns when you remember what you had done.
“I’m sorry, though. For assaulting you last night,” you start to apologise. Your cheeks are beginning to feel warm when you think about how reckless you had been, but you disguise it when you lift your hand and point it at him. “You know, the uhm—” you say to him, stopping to wave a hand at his cheek. “I’m sorry for slapping you.”
Namjoon laughs. “I already told you, I deserved it,” he says with a dimpled smile that has your heartbeat going so fast it nearly takes your breath away with it.
Your gazes lock to one another for a brief moment, and the air around you seems to sizzle. It prickles on your skin and makes your cheeks grow hot that you instantly look away to cease whatever it is that seems to be building between you. It is the connection, your conscience continues to remind you, but you deny it by simply ignoring it, refusing to acknowledge it for the sake of keeping it from becoming real. Thankfully, Namjoon no longer pays attention to you since the moment you severed that connection, already has his eyes on his phone as he continues to finish his simple meal, unaware that you now have your eyes on him again.
Your eyes linger on his face for a moment, silently taking him in while you have the chance to. The memory you have had of him from college and the pictures you have seen over the past few years have done no justice to what you are seeing up close. If you had thought that Jungkook is a perfect specimen of a human being, then Namjoon is—well, a different kind of perfect. While you have no intention of comparing him with your missing fiancé, there is no helping it when you keep seeing Jungkook’s face inside your head while you have your gaze on this man.
The one thing that you love about Jungkook is the soft features he has on his face even when his body is all firm and strong, but with Namjoon, everything about him is all hard, and all male. From the sharp lines on his face to his hard chest—you still remember how he felt under your palms when he pressed you against him—and his strong arms that made you feel small when he held you in his embrace.
As much as you hate to admit it, there is simply no way that you could possibly deny the attraction that is slowly beginning to sink in before you ever had the chance to realise it. When did it happen? Was it an instant pull, right when the soulmate bond snapped into place the night Namjoon’s mark appeared on his wrist? Or did it happen last night, right after you unleashed your anger on him and then you—
Your gaze trails down to find his lips, and almost instinctively the tingles start appearing on your lips just as you are once again taken back to last night, when in the middle of your frenzy, right when your mind was still clouded in the thick haze of your heartbreak and while you were slowly losing all control against the soulmate pull that your body simply—gave in. Right at that moment, you close your eyes, hoping that it would be enough to erase the flashing image of what happened in your blunder, only to feel your stomach dip when you fail and the memory returns.
Why did I have to kiss him?
You reach up and press your fingers on your lips, hoping to wipe the sensation away. But even as you try to do it by brushing your fingers across your lips, you can still feel it coming back to you each time the memory returns, and every single time it happens, your chest tightens with guilt.
It wasn’t that the kiss had been intended. Your emotions had been completely out of control, and the strong alcohol that you had drunk in the desperate need of erasing your pain must have clouded your judgement. You faintly remember Namjoon rushing to stop you from finishing his bottle, yet it only caused your rage to rise further, and you pushed him away while calling him names and accusing him to be petty and selfish for not wanting to share his drink. And when he finally caught your arm and glared at you to reprimand you, when the shove you gave against his chest wasn’t strong enough to draw him away, you ended up grabbing him by his collars and pulled him down until you could press your lips on his.
The kiss was meant to be brief, just something to shut him up because half of your mind had been thinking of smacking his lips with your palm and it was almost as if your body simply decided that using your lips would be a better idea. Clearly, your mind had already short-circuited just then to react so impulsively before you even realised what you were doing.
Despite the numbness and everything about last night that had become nothing but blurry fragments of moments, you still remember everything about the kiss. You still remember how his body stiffened when you reached out and pulled him down and how he was unmoving for a moment when you pressed your lips on his. You still remember how soft and tender his lips had felt when he began to reciprocate and pressed them against yours instead of pulling away, how he took over and seized control until your head spun with delight.
And you cannot deny the fact that your body came alight upon contact and how the tingles kept rising in the heat of the kiss, how it felt just as intoxicating as the drinks that you stole from him that you kept leaning in when he started to deepen the kiss, allowing his tongue to slip in while his hands pulled you closer to him. But the worse part of it all is the fact that instead of pushing him away, you simply relished the way your whole body was burning from the inside and out.
Thinking about it now makes your cheeks burn and your body heats up once more, but you shake it away. You had tried to convince yourself that it would be better for you to forget that it ever happened and move on. But now that he had put everything out in the open, after both of you had been so willing to own up to your mistakes, that decision simply flies out the window and you give in to the guilt that you are feeling inside.
Lowering your head to hide your burning face, you murmur to him, “Then I’m sorry for kissing you. That was—for the lack of a better word, completely inappropriate.” Unsurprisingly, hearing this only makes his smile grow wider, the dimples on his cheeks deepen when he chuckles so pleasingly as if he enjoys seeing you so flustered.
“I’m honestly not too sorry about it,” he softly says, and you almost swear that your heart nearly jumps out of your chest, most specifically when he slowly lifts his intense gaze to yours. You try to act like his words have no effect on you, but you doubt that you can hide it well when a grin comes onto his face. “But all is forgiven. Neither of us had been in our right minds when it happened.”
His words should be giving you some sense of relief, and yet again, your body reacts differently, when a rush of warmth engulfs you. It makes it even harder to deny it when both his words and the way he is looking at you are making you feel—wanted,even if you know that it is only coming from the bond you have between you and nothing else.
Nothing like what you share with Jungkook.
You say nothing to respond to his words, then simply turn away to enjoy your coffee so you would stop getting drawn to his intense gaze. “I don’t remember seeing you cook and there is no traces left in the kitchen showing me that you prepared breakfast while I was in the shower. Except for the coffee. Do you have staff helping you with all of this?” you ask him once another moment of silence settles in, choosing to change the topic just so you can stop thinking about the kiss again, which happens whenever your mind is idle.
Namjoon smiles bashfully. “I do. The staff belongs to the exclusive floors in this building, though. My boss, the benefactor behind the recording company, owns this building, and the staff is always on standby just in case we need anything. They always send me breakfast in the morning. All I had to do was ask for some extra portions so I can have you join me this morning.”
“You must have done it often, haven’t you? Invite someone to stay the night, feed them with lavish breakfast in the morning to woo them—” You have no idea where this thought had come from or what you are trying to accomplish by saying them out loud. And you certainly have not expected to feel a pang of jealousy for picturing all those women he had taken photos with sitting on this very same table with him, possibly in a more intimate way. You clutch onto your cold glass of water to stop yourself from pressing your palm onto your chest, right where the sting is coming from, though the feeling is quick to be replaced with guilt.
Because if knowing that he had shared his life with others before hurts you, even knowing that all he had gone through had been nothing more but short term relationships or flings, then how had he felt when he had to watch you with Jungkook?
“You may not believe me,” Namjoon speaks after clearing his throat, and you lift your eyes to find him looking straight at you so intensely that it makes you shudder in your seat. “But I’ve never invited anyone to stay the night here, or have the staff cook for them. Except for my family, of course.”
“Really? Not even your past girlfriends?”
You immediately regret asking him this when a spark of mirth comes to his eyes. When he seems intrigued at the fact that you are asking him about his past love life.
“How did you know that I’ve been with anyone else before?”
Gritting your teeth, you bite back the response that might end up with you confessing to him that you have been keeping up with his life over the past few years. It didn’t happen often, and not always on purpose either, when his photos just basically appeared even when you were not searching for anything related to him. With a forced smile, you simply answer him with, “Lucky guess. After all, you have always had a date clinging to your arms on the two occasions we met. Surely, it wouldn’t be wrong of me to assume that there are others in between.”
Namjoon blinks. Whether or not he believes you is not really your problem, though you are surprised to see a mix of shock and guilt in his eyes for a brief moment—and maybe a semblance of shame—before everything fades in the next blink. However, he still keeps his eyes on you when he says, “There had been a few casual relationships that I’ve shared in the past, some casual flings, nothing truly serious. Some of the women that people may have seen with me as my date have also been a part of—” he grimaces, “Well, you may call it as special arrangements.”
“What do you mean?”
Namjoon shrugs and gives you a small smile. “It means it was nothing but that, a front to show the public that I had connections. It helped boost the business when I showed up on dates with people who mattered in the business and it mostly helped them at the same time as showing up with me in public put their name out there for people and the media to recognise,” he says, once again surprising you when instead of telling you this while wearing a sense of pride on his face, all that you see on his face is a hint of shame, before he puts on another mask, and he wears a determined look on his face when he says, “So, the answer is no. They’ve never spent the night here and I’ve never opened my home to them. While I can’t say that I’m a saint either, I have had flings, friends with benefits, women that I could call when I needed a company, and oftentimes the public date that people were seeing me in would continue for the rest of the night, if you know what I mean. I can’t tell you all the details, but—” he stops to look at you in the eyes to add, “The time I spent with them had never been spent here, not in my home.”
Clearly, you have no idea how to react to that, or how to respond when he is looking at you with some sort of a hopeful look in his eyes. How could you even say anything when he just opens up that part of his life so easily, to be so easily honest instead of putting up a front just to amuse you? Unable to find anything to say, you look away, nodding at him as you tell him, “I see. Well, what you do at your personal time isn’t truly my business, is it?”
“Did. What I did in my personal time—” he quickly says with a firm voice, drawing you to find his eyes again. “Things have changed. It has to be.”
“You don’t have to change anything just because—” you begin to speak, hating the way your heart is giving some happy little flops in your chest just for hearing him say those things. Because it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. And you shouldn’t be jumping up and down in joy when his life doesn’t concern you. “We don’t even know each other to be saying things like this.”
“Then perhaps we can change that.”
“What?”
With a sigh, Namjoon leans forward to get closer to you, his eyes never waver from your face as he speaks, bringing back everything that had once been said between you the last time you met.
Before Jungkook left to give you space.
“Perhaps we can take this chance to get to know each other better. Past the memory of me being the douchebag who talked shit about the soulmate system and ignored you while you were waiting to see me, past the knowledge of me being Jungkook’s friend or the man who put up a front as if I have had a glorious love life in the past,” he says, and you can swear that there is a fire in his eyes, a look that tells you that he is not backing down. Not from this one.
“There is a reason why the universe had put the both of us together and matched us since birth. There is a reason why fate still insisted that we met, regardless of what had happened to us in the past that had kept us apart. Don’t you want to know what reason that might be?”
The weight of Namjoon’s offer sits with you all through breakfast. While it doesn’t do much to ruin the serene moment that you have been sharing with Namjoon right until the moment he said the words, it still has you growing weary and uneasy for the rest of the morning you spend with him.
It becomes a wonder for you when you manage to walk away from the dining table completely unscathed, even if your mind continues reeling over it without even being able to give him a sold answer. As if he can sense it, Namjoon merely smiles when you fall silent after hearing his offer and suggests that you would take your time to consider it.
“You don’t have to give me an answer or agree with it right away. Try to think about it, don’t let me force or affect any decision you make,” he says, before changing the topic just when you come close to start thinking of ways to escape and flee out of his home.
By noon, you are back at your apartment, sitting on the sofa right in front of the television, its empty screen looking back at you. Namjoon had sent his driver to take you home merely an hour ago, right around the same time he had suddenly acquired some motivation to get back to work and had decided that the driver would be of better use to drive you home while he did his duty from his fancy penthouse.
Feeling drained and sensing no other emotions but the emptiness that had followed you since the day before, you had fallen onto this sofa moments after you walked in and you have yet to move away from it since. You should be mulling over his offer, or perhaps plan out what to do to get Jungkook back and have him talk to you. But you are too numb to do anything, much less to function when you can barely think clearly, as if both your body and mind have shut down ever since you returned to your empty home.
Home.
Looking around, you take in your surroundings, gazing at the space that you had built together with Jungkook as a place where you would be—should have been—building your future together. You look at the beige-coloured walls around you which have been adorned with various framed pictures of the two of you and posters of everything that you both enjoy in life, at the room that is filled with all the mementoes that you have collected together with Jungkook through all the years you spent together.
Your mind takes you back to Namjoon’s home, which had appeared a complete contrast to your own. Despite calling it his personal space, Namjoon’s penthouse seemed scarce of intimate touches. It had felt too impersonal for you, with only essential things filling his home instead of the things that would make his personal space homely, with monochrome colours painting all the walls, spaces, and furnitures which seemed to be the opposite of the vibrant colours that you could find in yourhome.
And yet, as you are sitting here on your own, this apartment suddenly feels colder, hollow, as if the warmth that has been a huge part of it has been sucked dry the moment Jungkook stepped out of the door, the moment every bit of hope that you have built simply shattered when he turned away from you, taking all of that hope and your joy away while taking away your right to choose.
With a sharp inhale of breath, you finally snap out of it, and you soon fall in motion to start picking your life back up as much as possible.
You start by contacting your workplace, while you had informed your co-workers of your absence for the past two days, you decide to make it clear that the ‘family emergency’ you are currently dealing with will take some more time to fix and that you will need to take an early vacation leave before you can return to work. Then you start making more phone calls, sending out texts, doing the best you can to trace Jungkook’s whereabouts and confirm that he is okay, that perhaps you can find him and drag him back home to you.
Your stomach dips when Jungkook’s brother contacts you back only to let you know that your fiancé has yet to appear back at their hometown—not at their parents’ house, not at the brother’s house, and nowhere near their other relatives or old friends. Another call confirms what Namjoon had told you that Jungkook has yet to step foot at the company either, while none of your close friends claims to have been contacted by Jungkook since the day he was gone.
It takes a lot of convincing and pleading to Jungkook’s brother to make him believe that nothing is wrong and to make him promise that he wouldn’t let the news reach their parents. And it takes you a lot of vague explanations to answer all the questions that your friends throw at you with each call or text to keep them from finding out what is actually happening.
Your sister is the last person you call, and her voice immediately feels like a warm hug. Even before you start explaining to her all the details, Gahee seems to have sensed it, as if she had been expecting to receive this call for a long time.
“Gosh, I’m so sorry, _____, I have no idea what to say. Do you want to stay here with us until he comes back? Youngjae has a conference to attend out of town this weekend and I was just about to ask you to stay here to keep me company and help out with Gyeoul anyway,” she softly says.
“I don’t know,” you whisper into the call. “I want to be here if—when he comes back.” Your throat feels constricted that you can barely say those words, and you realise just how unconvincing you sounded even to yourself. Your eyes begin to prickle and burn with tears for the lost hope, but you suck a deep breath and hold everything in. Only for your effort to turn futile when your sister offers,
“I know that you want to wait for him. But would it be a good idea to wait on your own? At least when you’re here, you have Gyeoul and me to distract you. You wouldn’t have everything that reminds you of him suffocating and torturing you in your wait.”
Suffocating? Is that what this place is making me feel?
You begin to wonder about this just when your chest grows even tighter the moment your eyes fall on one of the photos that Jungkook had put on display. An old photo of you taken on your birthday two years ago.
You close your eyes briefly before taking another look around you just as you end the phone call. Not a moment too soon, the silence sinks in, as if it has been waiting in the shadows, lurking around you until the moment you are no longer busy with calls and texts to finally notice it and it would finally engulf you, wrapping itself around you until you find it hard to simply breathe.
Right at that moment, you know that you would never be able to survive sitting here in your silence and in the not knowing only to wait helplessly for Jungkook’s return. Determined to not let yourself drown in sorrow, you finally make your move.
By dusk, you have your personal things packed up. Essential things that you would need to get through the upcoming days and only enough spare clothes to get through the week. By nightfall, you are sitting inside an Uber ride taking you across the city. The hollowness follows you even after you are kilometres away from your apartment, though you can slowly feel it fading, chipped in with every added distance. You try not to think too much about where you are heading to, keeping your eyes looking out the window and watching closely at the city that still thrives while your entire world seems to be falling apart.
By the time you reach your destination, your chest no longer feels tight, though you still feel completely numb. And it doesn’t help eliminate your spiking nerves as you stand right in front of the doorway, your heart stammering in your chest as you are waiting for it to be opened.
The sound of the keys and the door clicking open feels like a gavel coming down to seal your fate. A sense of uncertainty plagues you as you are standing there, though it all fades so quickly when you lift your face and meet Namjoon’s eyes.
“I—I don’t know why I’m here, but—”
Once again, you feel as if your throat is clogged when you are not even completely sure how to explain yourself. The last thing you remember was feeling the dread of loneliness while being alone inside your home. That intense feeling had pulled you right out of it to find solace, only to lead you all the way here, back to his door.
While you are busy questioning yourself, Namjoon simply smiles at you and steps aside, widening the door behind him so you could step right past him. There is no question in his eyes, no doubt in his smile, and there is nothing but pure warmth engulfing you when he says,
“Come in. You’re always welcome here, _____.”
➥ Author’s note | Forgive me for the wait, but this one took a bit of time to finish. As you may have noticed, I have added another chapter on the masterpost. I have decided to split the original chapter into two, with chapter 8 as the filler chapter, while more intriguing stuff will happen later on chapter 9. I hope you enjoyed reading this one. Thank you for joining this emotional ride. Any feedback is welcome!
Genre: (Inaccurate) Historical AU || Strangers to lovers AU || Supernatural AU || Implied smut || Fluff || Angst
Summary: Picking which road to go down is easy when you think about how alone you would be without Jungkook, even if he hadn’t been the most honest with you from the start.
Word count: 9k
Tags/ warnings: angst, fluffy-ish, minor mention of blood, self deprecation, more lying, soft yandere kook, mentions of murder/ killing, definitely probably an unhealthy relationship, too much talking about dates it’s slightly confusing me thinks that is all
Notes: after a two month hiatus i have returned to my favorite child, i don’t really have an excuse except i’m ass at multitasking and shouldn’t have started a second series basically right after starting this one, so i recommend maybe going back and re-reading the last chapter like i had to unless you have sexy good memory
“Of course I’m mad Jungkook” you look at him in disbelief, “What if they had been thorough in their search? What if they found out you were the one who killed that man? Are you stupid?”
Jungkook swallows thickly, bottom lip jutting out into a pout as you berate him. He was more upset that you seemed genuinely angry with him that the possible consequences of getting caught because he couldn’t keep his anger in line. It wasn’t his fault the seedy old man had touched you without consent, what was he meant to do? Let the man go? That would go against all his morals and values.
“I told you it wasn’t me” he gently grabs your hands, his thumbs running over your palms. He looks down, eyebrows furrowing as a sad pout moulds onto his face, surely you couldn’t be angry at him when he looked so upset!
You look at him with a deadpan look, pulling your hands from his own. Because even if Jeon Jungkook looked like a kicked puppy, you weren’t about to forget the crime he had committed. And you would make it clear that if you were carry on knowing each other then he wasn’t allowed to go around killing men or women. Or anyone for that matter whatever they identified as. No killing.
By some miracle you’d made it out of the village without any other issues; you’d been so scared when you’d been stopped at the gate, convinced your life was truly over when it had hardly even begun. Turns out the men couldn’t care less about the murder, forced into the job last minute by the head of the village because no one had volunteered, simply asking the three of you to step away from the wagon so they could take a look for anything suspicious.
It seemed the man who had harassed you hadn’t been liked by many, the chief of the village only going ahead with protocol to appease his higher up in the capital so he himself wouldn’t be arrested.
They hadn’t even looked into any bags, their eyes skimming over what you were carrying, mindless hums passing through their lips as they prodded a bag or two, giving the three of you a curt nod and wishing you luck on your travels.
You’d thanked them, not missing the way their eyes had lingered at your chest as you climbed back into the back of the wagon; and it took all your will power not to kick them where the sun doesn’t shine. Namjoon seemed to share your anxiety, the way his shoulders had stayed tense until you were far enough from the village a clear sign, he had shared your sentiment. Only relaxing slightly once far enough to be considered safe.
You didn’t blame him. Felt a little sorry if anything.
It wasn’t every day that you have to travel with two complete strangers. One a four-armed demon who had arguably (definitely had) twisted morals, who was stubborn beyond belief sometimes and a foreigner who may still be wanted dead by the royal family because they believed you were a spy. (Something you will soon find out is a law that was demolished 6 years ago along with the fact there was a new king)
“Now you must think I’m stupid” you shake your head, “what other demon would have been in that small village?”
“Probably a lot” Jungkook argues, “I’m not the only demon and you know that”
You release a heavy sigh, fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “No killing people, okay? It’s not right”
“I would never” Jungkook says, lie easily slipping through his cushiony lips. Anything to appease you.
You make eye contact with him, searching for something behind his onyx eyes, only to find nothing. He didn’t seem to be lying, Jungkook had no reason to lie to you. Maybe it was a little naïve of you to believe that Jungkook could do no wrong; maybe you were biased because he’d only ever shown you kindness. He treated you as an equal, not some house maid that had to cook and clean all day, nothing more than a tool for him to boss around to feed into some fucked up superiority complex. You’d liked to believe Jungkook was as honest with you as you are with him, and it felt easy to read him, like he wore his heart on his sleeve and if he were to ever lie, you’d know.
“Okay, I believe you” you whisper, heartrate picking up as he smiles down at you so brightly. How could someone so kind kill a man? Sure, he threatened Namjoon here and there but you saw where your demon friend was coming from, the world was a shitty place and not everyone can be trusted.
Namjoon clearing his throat catches your attention, “We’re almost at the capital” he informs.
You look up at the sky, full moon hanging high above the three of you, illuminating the path for Namjoon as he meanders down the dirt road towards the large gates of the capital.
You peek over the walls of the wagon, lips quirking into an excited smile as you catch the faint silhouette of a few high-rise buildings. It was hard to see in the silver glow of the moonlight, but you imagine it looked exactly how Taehyung had described it in his notebook. Tomorrow you’d have to take a look over his notes again and plan out how you’d spend the next three days here with Jungkook.
You turn your head to look at said demon as he snakes his arm over your shoulders, his eyes trained on the path ahead, his own smile quirking onto his lips.
“If it looks this beautiful in the moonlight it must be ethereal during the day” you tell him, smile widening when he turns his head to look at you.
Your eyes close briefly when he leans forwards, a gentle kiss being pressed between your eyebrows.
“Yes, but nothing will ever match your beauty” he murmurs against your skin, your eyebrows furrowing at the ticklish feeling.
You let out an unattractive scoff, pushing his arm from your shoulder as you sit back down, view of the capital being obscured by the walls of the wagon. Jungkook sits back too, a knowing smile on his face as he starts packing up both of your things into his backpack.
He just adored how shy you could be something, and he didn’t mind playing your little games if it meant he could see the strawberry pink flush of your cheeks, illuminated by the silver moonlight.
Jungkook wishes he could engrave this moment into his mind. You always had looked like a fairy in the cool glow beneath the moon, so undeniably beautiful he wanted to keep you all to himself. No one in this world deserving enough to see you looking so delicate, no one but himself. He find it hard to keep his hands to himself, wanting to caress your soft skin, kiss every inch of your body until you understand its beauty, maybe leave a love bite or two so you’ll remember him even when not together. He wonders if you’d trace the sensitive skin, pressing on it just to feel the dull ache, or if you would leave them out in the open for anyone else to see; a sign that you’re taken.
The rest of the night went by in a blur, entering the capital was easier than you had initially assumed it to be, you believe because it was so late into the night the guards were laxer than they would be during the day. It didn’t seem to be common for visitors to arrive so late, the three of you the only ones waiting for the gate to be opened, what lay beyond the walls silent, everyone having gone to bed or closed their shops until sunrise.
A guard had recognised Namjoon, more than happy to hurry up the process of getting you into a decent inn so you wouldn’t have to camp out in the wagon until morning; understanding your backs must ache and eye weary from a long day of travel.
The woman at the front of the inn was more than happy to house the three of you for the next few days, a beautiful smile on her face as she handed Namjoon and Jungkook a key. She’d then turned to you, assuring you that you were more than welcome to come and sit in the bar area downstairs and embroider with her during the day, she was having trouble with a project and would be extremely happy if you were to help out at some point.
You’d eagerly nodded, smile so wide your cheeks had started to hurt. No one had ever wanted you to help them with their embroidery before!
She reminded you of the mother you’d never had, something so soft and warm about her that you couldn’t help but say yes to everything she was saying. You’d have to sit with her at breakfast and ask her what the capital was really like, and maybe she could even look through Taehyung’s diary with you and make a plan to make the most of your three days in the capital.
“Good night” you wave to Namjoon as he unlocks the door to his own room adjacent from yours and Jungkook’s.
Namjoon waves back, dimpled smile making a brief appearance before he scuttles back into his room, door being locked from the inside.
Jungkook pulls out a pair of pyjamas for you to wear, throwing them onto the bed as you flop onto the mattress.
“Get changed before you sleep, pretty” he reminds you, smiling when you reply, muffled by your head being stuffed into the layers of silky blankets on the bed. Though he assumes it must be something along the lines of ‘can’t be bothered’ to ‘in a minute, kook’
He rummages through his bag, trying to find his own sleep clothes (he liked to pretend to sleep beside you even if his body didn’t need it like yours did, something so blissfully domestic about laying beside you, your calm breath a beautiful symphony in the dead of night), however his focus is trained on you. The slow raise and fall of your body as you just lay there, unmoving, exhausted.
He tuts, abandoning his task as he pushes himself up from the floor, sauntering over towards you with purpose in his steps.
You let out a surprised squeak when his first pair of arms snakes around your waist, easily lifting you to sit up.
“Come on” he encourages, one of his arms stretching to grab your discarded clothes, placing them in your lap.
“But ‘m sleepy kookie” you whine, falling back onto the mattress with a dramatic sigh.
Jungkook, amused, lifts you up again, this time by pulling you up from under your arms, like one would a baby. And maybe you were his baby, the most precious little thing in his life. Truthfully, he doesn’t mind moment like this, adores them actually. Each time you rely on him, he can prove to you that he is good enough to provide for you, and he can only hope that with small moments like these you were slowly falling in love with him. He knows you’d never love him as much as he loved you, that was impossible! No one could love anything as much as he absolutely worships your very being, but he believes one day you’ll love him. He believes you already do, why else would you have stuck around for so long? He just knows you’re a little shy and being the considerate person that he is, he’ll wait a little longer before he tells you his master plan. Surely you’d be thrilled.
The perfect plan to keep the two of you together for the rest of time. Even thinking about it makes his cheeks burn, dusted a light pink, like the sunsets that you like to watch each evening while he reads you passages of his favourite books, maybe even feeding you a slice of fruit between pages just to make sure you’re not hungry before bed.
You don’t complain as he easily slips your shirt from your head, sighing in bliss as he kisses your bare shoulders before helping you put one of your sleep shirts on. He does the same with your pants, placing a feather light kiss to your ankle as he helps you change. Fingers skimming your pretty skin, he has to stop himself more than once from running his tongue along the expanse of it, wanting to relish the feeling of you in as many ways possible.
Once done, he leaves you to flop back on the bed, reminding him of a sleepy floppy bunny, as he lifts a few of the blankets, before lifting you to tuck you into bed; something had seemed to be a routine at this point. He wouldn’t be able to count on his four hands the number of times he’d been able to tuck you into his bed, safe from the world, if only for a night.
“Thank you” you whisper, voice laced with sleep.
Jungkook brushes your hair from your face, deftly tucking it behind your ears.
“Anything for you” he whispers back, a fond smile on his face.
He waits until you’re asleep, carefully slipping from the bed, trying his best not to wake you because he knew you were a light sleeper. Rummaging through his bag he bites his lip as he pulls a map from one of the pockets. Trying his best to stay silent, as unrolls the paper, humming to himself as he scans the map, finger tracing the library he needed to visit. He wondered if books were more expensive in the capital, Taehyung would usually collect the ones he wanted, and it was easier to give his friend a few coins each month and whatever was left, Taehyung could keep. Jungkook never had much care for money anyways.
He nods in thought, turning towards the bag once more, praying to the devil down below that he had enough for the specific book he wanted, no… needed.
He rummages around until he finds the small pouch of money. Opening the drawer strings, he cringes at how much the two of you had left. Saving had started to get harder over the last few years. After the new king had risen to power and demons had become public enemy number one, the villagers hadn’t been as generous with putting their coins into shrines.
And Jungkook was now facing the consequences.
His whole life he had relied on the money humans would leave at his shrine, it was easy to live off, even after you’d started living with himself and Taehyung, the donations were generous enough he never had to worry about money for food, clothes or books, but looking now, money was starting to become an issue.
He wouldn’t tell you this of course. He couldn’t have you worrying, he couldn’t let your pretty little head come up with a stupid idea (like leaving him), just because the two of you had to be a little frugal with your money until he figured out a way to earn a decent living once again.
Maybe he could sell Taehyung’s art, it wouldn’t sell for a lot, Taehyung was by no means a well-respected painter, that is why he had struggled for years before he’d met Jungkook. But that didn’t mean his art was worthless, they would have to at least sell for a couple of pennies a piece.
Jungkook thinks you wouldn’t be happy if he were to sell Taehyung’s art. You adored it, having spent hours a day letting Taehyung teach you the basics of painting, and after finally getting a glimpse at his art, you’d stay hauled up in Taehyung’s room, connecting with him through his artwork even if he wasn’t physically with you anymore. You’d be crushed if any of the pieces were to disappear.
Maybe he could take a few of the smaller pieces? The ones you wouldn’t notice went missing, he just needed a way to earn a few extra coins. The last thing he needed was for you to starve. Or even worse, you to leave him because he can’t provide for the two of you. And if you were to find out, he could jut out his bottom lip, maybe even shed a tear or two until you forgave him, he’s sure you’d understand his struggle if he cried a little.
+++
Namjoon was suspicious.
He’d been thinking for a few days, ever since he’d spoken to you at the beach about the village in-front of the mountains and how you’d met Jungkook. It all seemed… off. Nothing was falling into place. Odd pieces of the puzzle that didn’t connect, or worse, that one puzzle piece that goes missing, impossible to find and so the picture will remain incomplete. Forever.
He had considered asking you a few more things about Jungkook but decided against it. Not only was Jungkook constantly glued to your side, the few times he strayed away from the two of you, he seemed to be lurking close by enough to be able to listen to your conversations. So, asking you was out of the question. For now.
And from what he had seen, you probably weren’t the best person to ask about the demon.
Sure, you lived with him, probably knew a lot more than you were letting on but either the demon was threatening you to not say anything, or you genuinely didn’t know all that much. Both seemed just as likely. Namjoon had been on the receiving end of Jungkook’s threats more than a few times during this trip and knew how scary he could be, but Jungkook was also extremely secretive. Like how he clearly didn’t want you know about what happened in the village 6 years ago.
Namjoon was also suspicious of the fact that you seemed to have forgotten a lot of what happened in your life over the last few months. By no means was he a doctor, he’d given up on that dream long ago, but nothing made sense. You seemed so confused, genuinely asking him for help, and no matter how hard he tried to think of ways your memories had disappeared, the conclusion always led back to Jungkook. Suspicious Jungkook who definitely had a few too many secrets.
And so, Namjoon had the bright idea to follow the demon to wherever he may be going instead of interrogating you back at the inn while you had breakfast with the nice front desk lady.
It wasn’t all that surprising when Jungkook walks into a library, the demon always had a book in his hands. And with how much he read, Namjoon wasn’t all that surprised he needed a new book so soon into the trip.
What alarmed Namjoon was the location of the library, hidden in the dark crevices of an alley way on the outskirts of the capital. A place you’d have to have known prior to the trip happening, either having visited this location before, or someone who knew of it telling him before the trip had begun. It was in too much of an obscure place to be any old library.
Namjoon waits for Jungkook to enter the building, his foot tapping against the cobblestone path for what felt like a minute before he decides that he should just go in.
It looked like any other library, shelves stacked up to the ceiling, books organised by category, clearly labelled with large wooden signs, hung on the end of each shelf. The young boy behind the front desk hadn’t bothered to look up at from his own book as Namjoon wanders inside. (If he had, Namjoon would have seen the third eye the boy had)
It’s fairly easy to spot Jungkook even among the tall bookshelves with his broad back and slightly suspicious looking navy cloak, Namjoon tries his best to stay a fair amount of distance between the two of them. He wondered how good Jungkook’s senses must be as a demon and the last thing he wanted right now was to get caught. That would be the end of him, and he promised his mother he would be home within a week.
The village boy slips to hide behind a nearby shelf once Jungkook stands down one of the isles, fingers lightly skimming over the spines of a few books. He peeks up at the wooden sign, checking what sort of book Jungkook could be looking for.
His eyebrows furrow. ‘Conversion theory’
In all his times spent at libraries he’d never seen that genre of book. And Namjoon, although his friends back at the village make fun of him, quite likes to read. He had taught himself how to, never having had gone and learnt from a scholar, but he liked to live the lives of other through the pages.
He himself was trapped in his mundane life on the farm, nothing more going for him. But he could adventure the globe through a book, learn the history of his land, picture what life beyond the vast sea must be like, and so much more, just from paper and ink.
He takes a look at another shelf, gulping when he reads the sign.
‘Demonic entities’
Namjoon has to slap a hand over his mouth as he looks around, finally taking a look at the library properly; completely forgetting he was here to see what Jungkook could be trying to find.
Mixed among the humans were other beings, just like Jungkook.
+++
You watch Jungkook shove an unfamiliar book into the backpack, “You bought a new book?” you ask absentmindedly, more focused on brushing the knots out of your wet hair. You felt like a brand-new person, freshly washed, smelling a little less like dried blood and sweat after the incident from the day before.
You’d washed your hands at the previous inn, but the stench of blood had lingered, even then you don’t know if that was your mind playing tricks on you. The wound still fresh as you think back on the good times with your pretty kitty.
You wondered if you were okay, feeling so numb to the fact that another companion of yours had died. That was the third one in under two years. You thought you would have cried more, wanting to lock yourself away from everyone else a wallow in self-pity until your head hurts and your skin is dry from the salty tears. But you felt the opposite, wanting to finally go out and explore. Maybe you were a shitty person for moving on so fast, but maybe it was for the better. Or maybe that was a smaller part of you trying to convince yourself it was all okay when in reality it really wasn’t.
You could only hope that your cat would have a better life when reborn. That would be enough to let you sleep peacefully at night.
Jungkook hums, “Something about the history of this land”
You nod, never having been fond of history. It felt a little a little unconventional, why would you focus so much on what has already happened when you have the whole future to look forward to?
“I was thinking we could go out for lunch; I saw a nice place on my walk this morning” Jungkook turns towards you, happy with how far down he’d been able to stuff his book into the bag.
He doubted you’d ever rummage through his stuff, seeming more content with him riffling through the bag to get clean clothes or a snack. But better to safe than sorry. Especially since it was becoming evident you could read now; he would hate for his plans to be ruined because he was kind enough to share his knowledge with you.
“Sure” you reply, handing him the hairbrush to be put back neatly into the bag.
Jungkook was right, the small building the two of you had entered was more than nice. It even had two floors! (The owner explaining it had been inspired by building from the countries overseas who had places to eat with more than the ground floor like the hanoks) The outside was lined with small flowers, vines clinging to the walls, climbing their way up to the balconies above the ground floor.
You don’t ask when Jungkook requests the private balcony area on the second floor, assuming it was so the two of you could eat comfortably without worrying someone would try and hand you into the royal family or freaking out because Jungkook had four arms.
You watch the bustling streets, watching some kids play a game you weren’t familiar with, a few stealing loose fruits from crates, giggling as a few elderly people chase after them.
You wonder if that is what a real childhood looked like. All the children in the capital seemed so happy, happy with their parents and siblings, happy with their lives. The perfect life you could only ever have dreamt of becoming a reality.
You wouldn’t say you were jealous. If you hadn’t left the home you’d grown up in, your life would have been completely different. Your friend would still be alive, maybe you would have married by now. His father wouldn’t have approved, but you supposed you could have run away together. If you’d run away would the outcome, be the same? Would he have died because he had married a spy? You suppose he wouldn’t have been safe either way.
Regret is a fickle thing. There have been so many moments in your recent life where you wish you could just go back and change what has happened. You wouldn’t care if the future was different, that is something the you of then would have figure out. Because the you of now wanted to go back and change all the times something had led to the death of someone you loved so dearly.
You would convince your friend to stay home, he wouldn’t have died a brutal death. You would tell Taehyung he shouldn’t go down to the village, you’d go alone because if you could survive the disease once you could do it again and then he would still be by your side. You’d have taken lil meow down with you to breakfast the other morning, that way you’d still have your furry companion.
You regret not knowing, which in hindsight sounds stupid because how were you meant to know all of these bad bad things would happen? And it was easy to feel sorry for yourself, and the small, selfish part of you thinks that you feeling sorry for yourself if justified. Because why were you still alive and they weren’t?
Maybe you regret being born, you didn’t really have much say in the matter, but maybe it would have been better if you hadn’t tried so hard all your life to stay alive. Fighting tooth and nail to survive in a world that clearly didn’t want or need you.
If you hadn’t been born you wouldn’t be a bad omen to those around you, and everyone you’ve ever loved wouldn’t be dead. Jungkook may have been a special case, born blessed as a being that is unable to die. And maybe that’s why you stayed, because no matter how unlucky you may be, Jungkook would never fall into the hands of death because of you.
If you hadn’t been selfish, childish, then the poor cat would still be alive. Roaming the mountains free of burden. If you hadn’t been selfish and wanted to spend just a few more moments with your friend you’re your childhood, he wouldn’t have suffered an unjustified death. If you hadn’t agreed to stay in the hanbok, then maybe Taehyung could have waited out the winter with what food you’d eaten, and neither of you would have contracted a disease. He would still be alive and happy, carefree as he carries on the same routine he had for years without you coming and interrupting his peaceful life with his friend.
“Y/n?” Jungkook calls you, tugging at the sleeves of your cloak to catch your attention.
Your eyes flit up to meet his own.
“Are you okay?”
You hum, waving him off with a quick smile. It was easy to smile while looking at Jungkook’s face. Maybe it was because you didn’t want him to worry, so a smile was easy, or maybe Jungkook just had that affect. Such a nice face that you have no other choice but to smile too brightly at him. Or maybe you smile because you don’t want him to ask too many questions that you yourself don’t know the answer to.
He watches you for a moment longer, trying to gauge if you were lying or not. But then he sees your eyes light up at the array of food laid out on the table before the two of you.
“You bought so much” you mutter in awe.
“Well, aren’t you going to eat?” he asks, nudging a pair of chopsticks into your hands.
You nod slowly, “I’m trying to engrave what it looks like into my mind”
Jungkook laughs, a fond smile on his face as he just watches you, “No need, we’ll just come back in a few months and eat here again” he tells you, easy smile on his face.
“Okay” you grin.
Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow when you push yourself from the cushion on the floor, feet light as you skip your way over to his side of the table.
You lean down, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you for the food, Jungkookie” you smile.
Jungkook feels his heart stop, his fingers moving on their own as they wrap around your wrist.
Your head tilts in question, your breath hitching when he pulls on your wrist, so you’ve leant down once again.
You bite your lip to stop the big smile that threatened to pull onto your face when he presses a kiss onto the apple of your right cheek.
“You’re welcome, my lovely” he replies, motioning for you to go and sit down, “Now hurry and eat before the food gets cold”
“Yes sir” you mock salute, giggling when Jungkook rolls his eyes, tone teasing as he tells you to hurry up and sit down.
+++
You grip onto the sleeve of Jungkook’s cloak when a large group of people move in a clump down the narrow street.
You look up at Jungkook in confusion, ready to ask if he knew why so many people were moving in tandem, but your mouth clamps shut when you see the annoyed crease in his brows.
“Burn the demons!” a burly looking man shouts, the posse of people following him repeating his words with just as much enthusiasm.
Jungkook pulls you back into his chest when a new wave of civilians shove their way down the street, although their movements lack the mesmerising movements like the sea’s waves crashing against the shore, more shoulders bumping shoulders, the delicate crash of the waves replaced with grunts as they all bounce off one another.
“What’s going on?” you ask, voice raising in hopes that Jungkook would be able to hear you.
Either he does, or choses to ignore you as his fingers take a hold of your hand, dragging you into a narrow alley way beside the building the two of you had just had lunch in. You try and pull your hand from Jungkook’s fingers feeling as though they were going to snap with how tightly he was holding your hand.
“Jungkook what’s going on?” you ask, voice a little breathy as you try and catch up with Jungkook’s long strides.
The demon slows down a little, apologetic furrow of his brows as he watches you try and catch your breath, “They must be protesting” he mutters, and you simply nod.
“Against demons?” you ask, watching Jungkook release a long sigh.
“I should have told you” he turns towards you, “Not all demons are kind, my love. Some do bad things, and so they get punished” he explains, hoping the worry evident in his tone is enough to convince you of this white lie. It was technically half the truth, but you didn’t need to know the full problem, you losing your memories of what happened the night years back had already helped him move forwards in his plan.
As long as you believed it was the same year, where you were a wanted spy, and he was a harmless demon that was worshiped by all then everything would be okay. His plan would continue to run smoothly and then he could hold you in his arms without worrying about trivial human matters like death.
“Was there a bad demon here then?” you ask, worried you’d get caught in-between the conflict.
Jungkook nods, hand coming to rest on his chin as if in thought, “It seems so, we should head back to the inn for the rest of the day, just in case”
“That’s probably a good idea” you agree.
Jungkook takes a step before stopping. You make a noise in the back of your throat in question, watching as he releases your hand, turning to face you as he rummages through the pockets of his cloak.
Your head tilts up to look into his eyes when he pulls what looks to be a small pocketknife from the confines of his cloak.
“What?” you ask when he thrusts it in your direction.
“Just in case something happens and I’m not there, you’ll be able to protect yourself” he leans down to take a hold of your right hand, placing the pocketknife into your palm.
Your left hand traces the intricate design of the handle, wood having been carved out into small delicate flowers, painted with so much care there were no smudges or random pieces of colour bleeding into one another. It truly was pretty, like nothing you’d ever seen before.
“Jungkook I—I can’t” you shake your head, not daring to sheath the actual blade.
“You know I’ll always be by your side to protect you, but just in case” he pushes your hand away when you try to give it back, “Please, I’ll be able to rest easy knowing that if anything were to happen to me, you’d at least be able to put up a fight”
You swallow, eyes flitting back down to the pocketknife before you look back at Jungkook. Even with the warm afternoon sun being obscured by the roofs of buildings, in the dingy alleyway that was nothing more than grey cobblestone, greened with moss and small weeds, Jungkook looked so pretty. He looked so calm, unlike how he had been moment ago in the street. You sometimes wonder if he had lied about being a demon, he looked nothing like the scary beings that old wives’ tales made them out to be. Maybe he truly fell from the sky, an angel sent to help guide you in life.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he scoffs, finger pushing at your forehead.
You sigh, “I was imagining what I could do with this thing” you dangle the offending weapon between your thumb and forefinger
Jungkook laughs at that, “You can’t kill a demon with a measly knife” he waves you off, easily slipping his fingers between your own as he pulls you out the alleyway.
“Then how am I meant to defend myself”
“That’s what I’m here for”
“But you just—”
Jungkook presses a finger against your lips, “I’ll always be there for you, but it never hurts to have a back-up plan”
+++
You’d been thinking for a few days about the conversation you’d had with Namjoon about the part of your life that you felt, had gone missing. Maybe you were paranoid, or just plain stupid. Or maybe you imagined the incident that happened in the village. Or you were overthinking everything. All seemed like possible answers but no matter how hard you try to remember, you can only ever think back to the moments before the rocks had been thrown at you, enamoured by how intricately made the wooden bunny was.
And then blank. You couldn’t recall anything after that. Like it never happened. Seeming swallowed into a blackhole, making no sign of ever returning.
You faintly remember a dream, but after the first day of waking up it had been pushed to the furthest corner of your mind, Taehyung’s death taking up most of your thoughts. And whenever you try and think back to it now, you can only seem to remember how fresh the air had felt, and the soft scratching of golden grass on the backs of your hands as you wandered into the horizon. The sky a bright blue that otherwise hurt your eyes, a dull pain in the back of your head that would return when you would think too hard about what may have happened in your dream.
Nothing adds up.
It had been winter the day you’d gone down to the village with Taehyung, you were sure of that, you remembered how soft the scarf was Taehyung had gifted you, a gift for your first winter spent with himself and Jungkook. And if what Jungkook had said was correct; that you’d been passed out for only a few weeks, then there was no way it should have been that far into the spring once you’d woken up. Flowers in full bloom, sun not shying behind the clouds throughout the day.
But why would Jungkook lie?
Your fingers gently brush over your cheek, contemplating whether it was possible for such a deep gash to heal in such a short amount of time, with no evidence left behind. No scar, no tender tissue or discoloration. You’d woken up like nothing had happened. Maybe that was common? But as a child such a deep wound would take months to fully heal.
He wouldn’t lie, would he?
You fall onto your back, mattress cushioning your fall. Your head turns towards the door of the inn room, Jungkook’s large backpack coming into view.
Maybe he kept a diary like Taehyung did?
Jungkook had gone out for a walk that morning, whispering to you while you battled between staying asleep or finally waking up, sun peeking in through the windows, encouraging you to peel your eyes open. You’d hummed and waved him off when he asked if you wanted to join him. And that was less than an hour ago.
He did say he would be gone for a few hours… that would leave you with more than enough time to quickly snoop through his bag and see if he was hiding anything.
You felt a little bad because you knew that looking through people’s stuff was wrong. Really wrong. And you think Jungkook would be disappointed if he ever found out you’d gone and peeped into the bag while he was gone. But, if you wanted to figure out the anomalies in your life, Jungkook may be the perfect place to start.
You don’t know what you would do if you ever found out he was actually lying to you, and that’s why you pause when your fingers make contact with the bag.
Whatwould you do?
Maybe it’s better you never know.
Or maybe Jungkook had done nothing wrong, and you were being paranoid. What if he found out you’d gone through his stuff, and kicked you out of his home? Left you stranded, leaving you to fend for yourself. You both knew that was impossible, your best bet would be to hide in the forests, no one usually ventured into the woodland. Although, you doubted you’d be able to survive of wild berries alone, the thought of having to kill an animal making you feel squeamish.
Then what? You’re back to square one where you die alone, unwanted by another person?
You swallow.
But what if he never found out?
What if he never found out and you got the answers you were looking for? It would be easy to put everything back in the backpack the way you’d taken it out, and it’s not like he would notice miniscule changes in the packing.
You look at the door, waiting to see if he would walk in. When he doesn’t, you turn back to the backpack, fingers deftly pulling the strings open.
You carefully remove the layer of folded clothes, placing them neatly beside you. Soap, hairbrush, sack of apples, more clothes, a map. (What you fail to notice is his ‘history’ book wasn’t in the confines of his bag, because who would need a book on history when you plan to buy supplies?)
Your shoulders slump forwards when you find nothing. No notebooks, no pieces of paper with anything written on them, nothing. You even look into the pockets, nothing.
With a defeated sigh, you start to pile everything back into the bag, only praying that you were putting them all back in the correct order and hadn’t messed up.
You tie the top of the bag, pushing yourself up off of the floor.
Deciding you’d take a break in your investigation, breakfast sounded really good right around now. So, you skip downstairs with Taehyung’s notebook secured under your arm.
“Morning!” the inn owner calls out to you, smiling as you plop yourself down at one of the bar stools.
“Good morning, do you have some ink and a quill?” you ask, thanking the woman when she tells you she’ll be right back.
Your legs swing back and forth as you wait, peering around the room.
“Do you know where Namjoon is?” you ask when she places the ink in-front of you.
“Said he was going to check on the horses, he already ate so I imagine he wouldn’t be back until lunch time” she replies.
You nod, opening a new page in Taehyung’s notebook.
You flip back one page, checking the latest date, making sure you had the year correct.
Taehyung’s latest entry had been November 1859, written the day before the two of you planned to visit the village. You didn’t read too much of what was written, respecting that it was Taehyung’s private thoughts, although from what you caught a glimpse of, it spoke of the things you both needed to buy in the village.
You supposed if it was already spring then it must be 1860, which further confuses you. Deciding to brush off the suffocating feeling that consumed your body, your tongue pokes out as you figure out exactly what you want to write.
“1860? That was a while ago wasn’t it… I hadn’t even opened the inn yet. Do you plan to write a novel?” the inn owner asks you.
You look at her with wide eyes, “A while ago?” you ask, confusion heavy in your voice.
She nods, “Yes, I heard novels of recent history are popular these days, with the new king rising to power”
“What year is it now?”
“This year it would be 1865”
“Right now? It’s 1865?”
She nods, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you start to flick through the pages of Taehyung’s diary.
“Are you okay dear?” she asks.
Your head shoots up to look into her eyes, “Yes!” you slam the notebook shut, “I’ll be back in a minute”
“But my—your breakfast!”
“I’ll come back for it” you call out to her as you sprint up the stairs, lungs squeezing for air as you push open the door to yours and Jungkook’s room.
You fall onto the bed, careful as you pull open Taehyung’s notebook once more.
When you said you had never lied to Jungkook, that was a lie in itself. You learning how to read and write so well was meant to be a surprise. You wanted to show Jungkook how quickly you’d progressed in both skills, how you’d practiced with Taehyung while doing chores, and sometimes you’d dream of studying certain characters that you found difficult.
You did plan to surprise him when you got back to the hanok, maybe by asking if you could read to him before bed, not the other way round.
You flick to Taehyung’s most recent entry once more.
[November 1859;
Tomorrow me and y/n]
Your eyes zero on your own name. That was definitely your name.
If you’d been with them in 1859, how was it currently 1865?
You knew you hadn’t had the best gauge of how much time you’d spent with them but basing it off the seasons it shouldn’t have been more than a year. It definitely hadn’t been a year since Taehyung died. If you’d woken up weeks after the incident, then Taehyung shouldn’t have been dead for more than a month.
Taehyung wouldn’t have written the date wring so many times, would he?
From the few times you’d been in his room it seemed he kept more than one notebook. When you’d first met him and asked what he would write down every other day or so, he had told you about his habit of writing. How he liked to document special moments in his life so he could go back and read about his past in years to come.
How likely was it that he had gotten the years wrong all this time?
Taehyung was quite a meticulous person, not the type of person to guess a date and go with it. He was particular about small details like that.
You chew on the nail of your thumb, but why would Jungkook lie?
Say it hadn’t been weeks, and it had actually been years.
How were you alive? Without food or water surely, you would have died. If it had been 6 years, then how come you hadn’t aged at all?
That would explain how the wounds you had gotten from the village boys would have fully healed, but nothing else made sense.
You slam Taehyung’s notebook shut when the room door opens. Your heartrate speeding up as Jungkook saunters into the room. You look at him with wide eyes, swallowing thickly as he roves his eyes over your body.
You see his eyes slightly narrow, as if trying to gauge what you were doing before he came into the room.
“What were you going?” he finally asks, eyes trained on the notebook tightly clasped by your fingers, his own tightening on the woven bag in his hands.
You stay silent for a moment, mind racing a mile a minute as you try to find a decent lie. Something believable enough that he wouldn’t ask any more questions, because your heart felt seconds away from beating right through your chest with how hard it was pounding against your ribcage.
“Jungkookie?” you eventually say, tone a little sweeter than usual.
He looks up at your face, head cocking to the side in question.
“I have a request”
“Only if you answer my question” he prods, clearly unsatisfied with turn of conversation.
“It is about that actually” you look down at your lap, fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt, “I was looking through Tae’s list, and he says the royal palace is really beautiful”
Jungkook is silent for a moment, and you keep your eyes trained in your lap, scared that if you were to look into his eyes, you would spill everything you had discovered within the last hour.
“Is that all?” he eventually asks, easy smile on his face; because you were just too adorable. Of course he would take you sight-seeing if that’s what you really wanted, nothing to be embarrassed about.
You nod, breathing a sigh of relief when he agrees.
“Let me just put this stuff away” he says, “Then we can leave”
You watch him pull the book he had purchased the day prior from a woven bag, your eyes narrowing when there is nothing written on the cover of it.
“Jungkook?” you ask, he hums, not turning towards you as he tries to shove it further inside the bag, “Is that history book interesting? I think I want to try reading harder books now, not just children’s poems.”
Jungkook pauses, eyes meeting yours briefly before he turns to the backpack once more.
“I don’t think you’d like this one, love. The vocabulary is hard, even for me” he explains.
You hum in understanding, deciding it was best not to prod any further.
“Ready to go?” Jungkook stands up, hand stretching out to help pull you up from the bed.
“Yeah, I still have to eat breakfast before we go”
Jungkook sniggers at that, nudging your shoulder as he tells you how breakfast is the most important meal of the day and that it was closer to lunch time now than it was breakfast.
You shrug, explaining that even breakfast can be eaten at lunch sometimes.
+++
How well did you truly know Jeon Jungkook? Why had it taken you so long to ask this question?
You knew it was because he was the closest person you would get in this life that would always be a constant. He liked you, he couldn’t die, so why would he leave you? Just like yourself he had no one else in this world. And maybe you were cowardice, projecting your own insecurities and fears onto him, but it was true was it not?
Loneliness was simultaneously the best and worst thing that could happen to a human. It was a valid fear, as humans were social creatures that overall worked better as a team than in solitude. Two pairs of hands are always going to be better than one and being able to confide in another person should be second nature, because no one should have to deal with their pain alone when they had so many that cared for them.
Loneliness however can force you to learn to love your own company. If there is no one else around, you can only rely on yourself. And at the end of the day, you are the only constant in your life. Forced to fend for yourself, live for you, and you only.
But that scared you, what was living if it wasn’t for other people? Forced to marinate in your own thoughts, figure out your own feelings and live just because you want to or feel obligated to because you were given life so maybe you should live it out for a while.
Unless you’re Jeon Jungkook. He never seemed alone.
You believed that you would stay with him for a long time, because he had nowhere else to go just like yourself. And wherever he went, you think you would follow, because you were scared of being alone. Scared of the solitude that some found comfort in.
But why would you blindly follow him? Because he was kind enough to house you? Feed you? Put a roof over your head and help you develop skills that otherwise you would have no resources to do so? Even if he had been lying to you, deceiving you even.
If Jeon Jungkook was a colour, he would be grey. Muted, his character unimposing until you peel back the layers upon layers that he shields his being with only to find black. Onyx. A dark plain that can only be described as Jeon Jungkook, the ghost of a hand pulling you into his warm embrace until you settle down and thin sticky vines trap you beside him with no escape, remaining by his side for the rest of his eternal life.
Even with a small crack in what is Jeon Jungkook, a lie exposed to you, you chose not to say anything.
Why?
Because he’s familiar, and you’re scared of being alone.
Why would you willingly fall headfirst into a spiral of solitude when you could remain by his side, acting oblivious as he plays you like a puppet. Chipping away at your very being until you’re too warn down, leaning on him for support like he had planned from the start. He’s never hurt you, his caress gentle, and words sweeter than fresh honey or sugar cane. Blindly guiding you further into his abyss, steps away from the point of no return.
But you’re okay with that. Willingly holding onto him like he holds onto you, like the two of you are the only two left in the world, needing nothing more than each other to survive.
Now you find yourself at a crossroad. Why walk down the path of loneliness when you could walk down the path towards Jungkook, who happily waits for you at the end of the road with his arms wide open? It seemed obvious which path you would choose. And maybe you were spineless, allowing someone you barely knew to swing you around like a doll on some strings instead of facing your fears.
Maybe Jungkook was scared of being alone too. You’d never considered living an eternal life, simply living day to day hoping you’ll wake up tomorrow. But you worry how lonely he would feel if you were to ever leave him, a twinge of empathy flaring up at just the thought of it. Left to live alone for the rest of time. If you could live together, without the fear of desolation… walking the ways of life hand in hand with no one but each other.
And that’s why as you shut the book stuffed away inside the lower depth of Jungkook’s bag, you say nothing. Washing away what you had read from your mind, smiling happily when the demon re-enters the room, freshly washed, looking like the epitome of ethereal as he flops onto the bed, beckoning you to come over with a kiss to your cheeks, his own flushed the prettiest shade of dusty rosy, pink.
Summary: Sometimes the universe has a personal vendetta against us. Or well… you in this case. You didn’t ask to go on a hunt across the universe to collect your broken pieces of soul, and you certainly didn’t expect to become aquatinted to 7 people (8 times over) along the way, finding a new home with each of them even if each version were so different across the planets in the vast universe.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destination one of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Aliferous
☆Definition:Having wings; winged.
Paring: Jung Hoseok x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:puppeteer au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: Waking up in an unfamiliar world is one hard pill to swallow, being told your time was limited and you had find a piece of your cracked soul was even worse, paired with the fact that the people in Gardenia were convinced you were an angel sent from above to help them with the recent dilemma.
Series masterlist : Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destination two of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Stellify
ﾟ☆Definition:[transitive verb] to turn into or as if into a star : place among the stars
Pairing:Min Yoongi x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:19th century au||jack the ripper au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Desitantion three of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Hiraeth
ﾟ☆Definition:[NOUN]: deep longing for something, especially one’s home
Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:mafia au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destination four of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Thalassophile
ﾟ☆Definition:anyone who loves the sea and the ocean.
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:daechwita au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destinationfive of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Peregrinate
ﾟ☆Definition:[VERB] travel or wander around from place to place.
Pairing: Park Jimin x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:hybrid au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series mastlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destinationsix of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Solandis
ﾟ☆ Definition: a delicate flower
Pairing: Kim Seokjin x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:prince au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destinationseven of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Cosmogyral
ﾟ☆Definition:whirling around the universe.
Pairing: Kim Namjoon x reader (ft. the tannies)
Genre:alien au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers || non-idol au ||
Series summary: ???
Series masterlist: Coming Soon
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Destinationeight of the ‘Map of the Soul’ series
Title: Serendipity
ﾟ☆Definition: [NOUN] the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
Pairing: OT7 x reader
Genre:idol trainee au || fantasy au || isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers
Genre: fantasy au || Isekai || fluff || angst || strangers to lovers ||
Series summary: Sometimes the universe has a personal vendetta against us. Or well.. you in this case. You didn’t ask to go on a hunt across the universe to collect your broken pieces of soul, and you certainly didn’t expect to become acquainted with 7 people (8 times over), finding home with each of them even if each version were so different across the planets in the vast universe.
Prologue word count: 784 words.
tags and warnings: will be added above each chapter.
Notes: this is going to be a long long long project. i’ve had the idea to do this series for years and now that my platform has grown a little (and i’m not a 13 year old whose grammar and writing is iffy) i think i’m ready to finally take on the challenge. each ‘destination’ will have multiple parts so its basically 8 series within the map of the soul series. chapters may be a little shorter than my other series/ writing just so i can keep a schedule and update regularly and its easier than writing 10k every week to two weeks.
soul | səʊl | noun 1 the spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal. • a person’s moral or emotional nature or sense of identity
The soul is one of the many components that make us… ‘us’. You and me alike; one of the fundamental pieces of any living being, be it beast or man. What is a body without a soul? or better yet, a soul without a body?
The simple answer: an empty shell, a ticking time bomb where each second is uncertain. Because the ‘you’ of this world is connected to the souls of the other versions of ‘you’ wherever they may be. And like any good story there is often a flaw in the system. And in each millennium, there is one unlucky person that the dilemma is forced upon. And they’re unaware of it until it’s too late.
The multiverse has never been a concept the people of our world took seriously, their focus on science and the development of technology that has, and will never be able to fully explain the worlds that live beyond us. It’s easy to depict a rough outline of what the multiverse may be like in far-fetched action-packed superhero movies. But they are only partially accurate, the concept of the multiverse lacking because no one in the world has actually met their counterparts. It’s impossible. That’s the universe’s first hidden rule about the soul.
Because souls are tricky things, in the making of a person, one soul is assigned to them, split up like slices of a tangerine and handed off to each of ‘you’ from a different timeline. An invisible string connecting each of you to each other, a way for each of you to never meet, a map being sketched out to pinpoint where each fragment of soul has landed and where exactly it is in the universe.
So, they’re all ‘you’ but each version is slightly different. Because environment has as much of an affect as genetic make-up and the characteristics that are imbedded within your soul. It’s expected that a soul is split and spread across multiple timelines, universes, places, another of the many hidden rules engraved into the universe.
However, every so often a problem occurs. Sometimes there’s only one body, one universe and one timeline, one place with multiple pieces of fragmented soul. When the soul cracks, a slice of that soul is assigned to one body, the other pieces being abandoned across the universe where the other versions of ‘you’ are meant to be but never were. And this poses as a problem, because slowly your body will start to pull the fragmented pieces of soul in, as each piece tries to weave its way into at least one version of you. They were assigned to you for a reason.
Either one of two things happen, the better option is: you are forgotten. With only one version of you, you don’t have your intended impact on your timeline and slowly those that you love and the current world that you’ve grown up in will forget you ever even existed. Slowly your body will start to break down, your reason for living slowly dwindling until the universe decides that you are a waste of space. Your lost pieces of soul slowly start absorbing back into the abyss ready to be regenerated into another being. And so, the only version of ‘you’ will slowly deteriorate. Until you are no more.
The second outcome is the worse of the two. Each fragment will try and pull you into its timeline, to absorb into the only version of you that exists in the world. And having multiple parts of a soul doesn’t pose as a problem, because they have technically achieved their intended purpose in being a part of ‘you’. However, for your fragmented pieces of soul to be absorbed, time warps, something akin to a black hole forming. And as your body is pulled in multiple directions at once, your limbs will be ripped from your body, and ultimately you die an excruciating death where no one knows what happened. You vanish from the face of the earth.
There is a solution to this problem. And more often than not the outcome isn’t favourable. How were you ever meant to know you were the unlucky one, whose soul had been shattered and left to lay stagnant because there is only one ‘you’?
And it seems that you are the unlucky one of this millennia that will face the consequences of the universes mistake.
Hopefully someone has the map of your soul so each of your fragments can be retrieved before you’re either forgotten or ripped to shreds by the universe.
Fox Hybrid! Jin, Human! Namjoon, Human! Yoongi, Wolf Hybrid! Hoseok, Cat Hybrid! Jimin, Wolf Hybrid! Taehyung, Fox Hybrid! Jungkook
Genre: Hybrid AU || Fluff || Angst || Smut/ implied smut || Strangers to lovers AU || Best friends to lovers AU
Summary: All Jin can think to do is try and kiss it all better.
Word count: 7.6k
Tags/ warnings: blood is mentioned a lot, lots of crying, angst/ comfort (it’s more comfort), fluffy-ish, violence (but its deserved), the pain if finally over, hybrid mistreatment, me thinks that is all
Notes: second to last chapter lets gooooo. i also planned for like super soft smut in the next chapter, like a cute way to end the series but oh my god the cringe, jail time, will never see the light of day. so idk if there will be which im pissed about and i’m too scared to ask someone for help :’( and i’m shy but i’m open to suggestions! i’ve also been stressed because i have to write a graduation speech and my brain has fully stopped working so this chapter is a lil late and i’m a tiny bit unhappy with it because i feel like something is missing but my brain is fried.
summary: Your crush on Namjoon isn’t even that big. You don’t think he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever met, your eyes never follow him across the room, and you definitely don’t pay attention to the way his thighs look when he wears those jeans.
rating: M(18+)
tags: sorta unrequited-ish not really though hehe, friends to lovers au, smut but also fluff at the end, dirty talk, namjoon uses baby and sweetheart, oral (m & f receiving), unprotected sex, kinda possessive joon makes an appearance, cum eating, choking but not really, that is probably all
wc: 6.4k
notes: my longest fic to date !! i hope you enjoy :-)
You’re not really sure what you’re doing here, your intentions are fuzzy but you know one thing for sure; Kim Namjoon makes you dizzy, makes your head spin.
These days, you can’t go twenty minutes without thinking, ‘I wonder what Namjoon is doing’ or ‘did Namjoon eat today?’ It’s almost pathetic. Scratch that, it is pathetic. Namjoon was introduced to you at the beginning of your freshman year in university by your first on-campus friend, Hoseok, as his lifelong best friend and confidant. Namjoon made the world’s best first impression on you, he was so smart and so humble and once you heard it, you couldn’t get his laugh to stop replaying in your head. Your small infatuation, if you can call it that, for Namjoon quickly turned into a pretty sizable crush, unable to remember a time where Namjoon wasn’t always on your mind.
That’s how you find yourself here, at that small gathering that Namjoon and Hoseok were throwing in their apartment. Through Hoseok, you made many of your close friends, namely Seokjin, who was a graduate student at the same university. It was Hoseok who invited you, but Seokjin had begged you to come, claiming something about these years being your prime and whatnot. Half convinced and half desperate to see Namjoon, you came but still, you don’t know why you’re here. It’s not like you coming would make any kind of dent in Namjoon’s evening. He’s always been a popular guy on campus, constantly surrounded by people, they seem to flock to him and his blinding, dimpled smile. So when Namjoon walks up to you and Seokjin with an extra drink in his hand, you have no idea how to react.
⤷Genre:romance; fluff; boyfriend!namjoon x girlfriend!reader.
⤷Warnings:themes of insecurity.
Namjoon’s hands were your haven.
And you were simply entranced by them, from the meticulous sculpt of his slim fingers that rivaled the finest art pieces to how they entangled with your own so perfectly.
You loved nothing more than to simply admire them from afar, but once your eyes delved into the perfectly sculpted crevices and nooks of his appendages, little else mattered.
And though they often brought graceless destruction to so much around him, there was no place you felt was safer than when your hands intertwined with his. And when his thumb tenderly rubbed soothing shapes into your palm, there was nothing that could touch you.
So you loved to merely touch them at all times, and every opportunity to hold them within your own was never overlooked; much to your shy boyfriend’s dismay.
Even now, as your own hands delicately played with his lithe fingers, not even the glittering Cosmos could capture your attention.
The image of his deft fingers curling around his fountain pen as he wrote whatever lyrics he conjured was almost far too tempting to merely forget, which resulted in your thievery of his limbs.
It was only once the twinkle of your eyes faded from your lover’s view did he care for your play as you placed your palm against his, seemingly comparing the two.
“What’s wrong, little peach?” His voice spilled from his lips like a soothing tea, waiting to warm and comfort you after a long day.
Your brows furrowed as your fingers hesitantly slipped from his own and a soft sigh pushed past your lips. “Nothing.”
A frown fell upon his dewy lips whilst his broad hands pulled away from your grasp just to wrap around your own that hid from him within your sleeves.
“I know when somethings bothering you, peach. Don’t lie to me.”
Though his demands were delicate to your ears, you winced at his soft whispers, you hated it when his voice gently delved into the soft tone that made you want to open your whole heart to him, and never twist the truth in the slightest.
Namjoon was much like a truth serum, the softest moments with him could easily pour the truth from your lips, without much of an effort from your boyfriend.
“It’s just so stupid, but I’ve been thinking about our hands.” You awkwardly confessed only for a wordless nod and a gentle smile from your boyfriend, that urged you to tell him all that troubled you.
“And how beautiful yours are- just like the rest of you,” you gestured to his strong body, before a quiescent chuckle bubbled from him just to flutter your heart before he beckoned you into his lap, “and mine just don’t feel worthy.”
His strong arms tangled around your waist whilst his nose tenderly traced your cheek, and his fingers you adored so much filled the empty spaces between your own.
“Nothing from you will ever be stupid to me.” He assured you, tapping the tip of your nose with his fingers before he brought your hands between your chests.
“And you should know these are so beautiful.”
He praised ever so softly, as if a breath would shatter the hands his fingertips grazed, before he carefully pressed his lips to your smallest finger and dipped his lips to next, he kissed every imperfection and blemish ten times before repeating his soft kisses ten times more.
Once he drew his velvety lips from the back from your hands, the warmth he placed within your belly burned along with your curiosity.
“Why?”
His head fell back just enough to look into your eyes as his hands rested upon the small of your back and hips, as goosebumps followed the path of his fingers along your spine.
“Because each one of them are yours.” He stated, as if it were an answer so clear, written within classic literature as a fact of life, and you were baffled at just how perfect he was to you.
Your lips parted in the stunned silence he hushed you with, unable to comprehend an answer to his beautiful comforts; but you hadn’t need to say anything at all for him interlace his hands with yours, to emphasize just how immaculately they joined together.
“If they weren’t, they could never fit so perfectly with mine.” He whispered, his eyes never leaving your tangled fingers until his twinkling eyes looked into yours.
“Everything about you is perfect for me, little peach.”
Perhaps it was the sincerity of his eyes locked upon yours, or how his hand that wasn’t wrapped so tightly within your own gently tucked your hair behind your ear, but you were far too wrought with his words to form your own.
So you did all you knew to do, you wordlessly mashed your lips into his own that had simply been pleading with you to kiss them at last.
The hold he had upon your hand tightened as his other hand cupped your cheek with a gentleness you could only expect from Namjoon, as he sweetly returned your shy kisses.
He gave you all of his understanding and love until your fears were irrelevant, all the while your hand remained tightly enclosed within his.
Warnings:Panic attack and floofy fluff. Yoongi is a babe in this one. Also so very very loosely edited, heh. I’m sorry.
——————–
“Would you run away with me?”
…..
“Tasia!” Jungkook exclaimed frantically.
“Jungkook? What’s wrong?” At my serious tone, the three men with me instantly turned their attention my way.
“Put it on speaker.” Hoseok demanded and I did as told.
“-what happened! I just-I left to use the bathroom for like 2 seconds! That’s it!” He trailed off, Korean tumbling out of his mouth in what I assumed were panicked curses.
“Hey, it’s okay, just tell me what happened. You’re okay,” I consoled, doing my best to bring his attention back to me.
“I won’t be after I tell you what happened” he mumbled.
“What the hell did you do, Kook?” I sighed, exasperated.
“I maybe, sorta, kinda…lit…your kitchen on fire?”
“You did what?!”
“It was an accident!” He exclaimed and I could hear Jimin and Hoseok snickering behind me.
“Shut the fuck up!” I snapped at them causing them to flinch back and stop laughing.
Turning back to my phone I asked, “are you fucking with me right now?”
He let out a whimper, “no.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to reign in my anger. “Okay, so, how did you manage…that?” My breathing was shallow from the effort I was putting in to keep my patience.
“I was making food and I didn’t see the kitchen towel by the stove and I just left for a second to use the bathroom and when I came back….there were a lot of flames”
I hung up the phone, rushing over to the curb and crouching into a ball, trying to battle back the panic attack that threatened to overtake me. I was going to be evicted, I was going to have to pay for repairs, I didn’t have a place to stay.
I flinched when someone gently placed a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t touch me.”
“Maybe it’s not that bad,” Jimin murmured, crouching beside me.
I could feel the tears welling but I nodded nonetheless. We stayed crouched there for a while, Jimin affectionately brushing my hair back behind my ear and rubbing my back.
“Come on, let’ go” he encouraged a minute or two later, ushering me to stand back up. “Hoseok, take-” Jimin hesitated, not remembering Beatrice’s name, “Tasia’s friend back, we’re gonna get a cab.”
I didn’t even argue, too far gone in self-pity.
***
When the cab pulled up outside the apartment building, I saw the hoard of police and firemen. The threat of a panic attack crept up again, but Jimin must have been paying attention because he was quick to wrap his arms around me. I couldn’t fathom why I felt so comforted when not even a half hour ago I wanted the ground to swallow me whole every time he so much as glanced my way.
“Tasia!” I was tackled the second I stepped out of the cab.
“Get off.” I wasn’t stable enough to put any emotion into my voice.
Jungkook flinched back, likely not expecting it.
“Tasia?” He murmured cupping my cheeks but I shrugged him off, I was afraid that if I looked at him I would say something I would later regret.
I stalked into my apartment, brushing past the firemen and police officers, my chest tightening uncomfortably the second I laid eyes on my roastedkitchen.
“Excuse me, Miss Lloyd?” I turned at the sound of my name, coming face to face with my landlord.
It felt like the world was closing in on me, my chest getting tighter as I fought to breathe. I stumbled round the side of the building, hoping no one had followed me, slumping against the brick wall and sliding down til my ass roughly landed on the cement.
***
I darted out of my apartment a few hours later and hurled myself down the steps. I couldn’t stop the flow of tears any longer. Everything was too much, it was all too much. Too many people, too many problems, too many emotions—I couldn’t handle it. The officials had all left but the seven men now in my life were more than I could handle in that moment.
Breach of contract. Evicted. The words repeated over and over til my head was swimming.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before I finally calmed down, but when I did, I took notice of the figure standing beside my slumped form.
His dark hair was almost completely covering his eyes and he had a black mask covering the rest of his face, but his silhouette was unmistakable.
“Yoongi?” I asked. The only response I got was an almost imperceptible turn of his head as his one visible eye met mine. “Do you want to get out of here?” I held my hand up for him to take, hoping that he would.
His gaze flickered down to my hand. There was a beat of silence before he cautiously pulled his hand from his jean pocket and gripped mine. He pulled me, with more strength than I thought he had, up from the ground. Not prepared, I stumbled forward into his chest.
“Was that payback?” I snickered into his chest. I wasn’t sure what it was, but something about him in that moment made me feel safe. I knew I wasn’t being rational and the last thing I should be doing right now is running away, but I didn’t want to stay. I didn’t want to deal with my anger towards Jungkook or my inevitable homelessness. I wanted to run.
And so we did. Still hand in hand, we took off running. I don’t think either of us had a destination in mind, our only goal was to get away. We ran like our asses were on fire down the sidewalk, taking a chance and darting across the too-busy-to-be-jaywalking street. We kept running till we could no longer see the dreaded apartment building.
Jogging to a stop, we were both panting and clutching our sides, laughter bubbling up inside me. Looking at Yoongi I noticed that somewhere along the way he’d removed his mask and for a moment I was struck dumb by his beauty. He wasn’t quite laughing, but there was a grin on his lips that I’d never seen before. Slowly, we both sobered up as we stared, studying each other.
“Come on,” I nudged after a moment, a taxi pulling up to the curb behind him catching my attention. It still didn’t feel like we were far enough away if one of the boys decided to come looking for us.
Yoongi helped the elderly woman get out and I took the opportunity to slip in. I waited for Yoongi to join before I told the driver to do just that. Drive.
It was about thirty minutes of driving around and we eventually got to the more populated part of the city with lots of little boutiques and tourist attractions.
“Here’s fine!” I called, startling the driver a little I think. Yoongi had his mask up again, but I think I saw his cheeks lift into a smile and I grinned back at him.
Where had the fear I’d felt for him gone? Where was the anxiety I felt around any of them at any given time? Where was the stress from my home situation? I wasn’t sure but right then I wasn’t going to worry about it.
Yoongi slipped the driver some cash and we both tumbled out of the vehicle, small giggles leaving my lips.
People were hustling and bustling down the streets, the tourists easy to pick out. Not wanting to lose Yoongi in the crowd, I laced my fingers with his.
Spotting what had prompted me to tell the driver to stop, I tugged gently on Yoongi’s hand and began making my way to the entrance. It was a small bar that I’d never been to but had always wanted to try.
The little bell chimed above the door the moment we stepped in and Yoongi pulled his mask down to rest under his chin, looking around. The place wasn’t anything special or fancy, but it looked clean.
Leading him to the stools, I sat down. “Let’s drink.”
…..
The first thing that caught my attention as I woke up was the horrendous taste in my mouth, my tongue feeling like it’d been glued to the roof of it. I had a few blissful seconds of this before the headache registered, pulling a pained moan from my lips. I rolled over, deeper into the covers while clutching my skull.
I’m never drinking again. I thought.
The last thing I remembered was bar hopping with Yoongi and I prayed that was who I had just heard walk into the room.
My breath hitched when they clumsily plopped onto the bed, rolled closer and threw an arm around my waist — pulling me closer. I risked a glance down and closed my eyes in relief when I recognized the ring and bracelets on the hand.
“You scared the shit out of me,” I sighed, not willing to speak any louder. Yoongi just hummed halfheartedly in return, the sound muffled by the pillow his face was pressed into.
“Where are we?” I grimaced once again at the taste in my mouth, somewhat regretting opening it.
He let out an annoyed sigh, took his arm off me and shifted to lay on his back.
“A hotel room.” He deadpanned.
“Did…did we do something?” I sat up, biting my lip nervously not missing the opportunity to appreciate his beauty. His eyes were closed, his hair messy and brushed back.
He cracked one eye open, unexpectedly sitting up too, the proximity making our noses brush. “Why? Do you want something to have happened?” There was a mischievous glint in his eye, his minty fresh breath fanning across my lips.
I pulled back, not wanting him to smell my breath.
“I have to use the bathroom!” I blurted, stumbling out of the bed. I had moved too fast because now the pressure in my brain made me feel like it was going to pop. I took a second to wait for the pain to ebb away.
“You good, jagi?” He asked with humor clear in his tone of voice.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I paused, furrowing my brows and looking back at him, “what did you just call me?” I’d heard Jungkook call me that a few times before and he’d always made it seem like it was a slip of the tongue, but the way Yoongi was smirking at me, I knew he’d said it intentionally.
“Jagiya.” He said, slow and mocking.
I rolled my eyes, “yes, and what does that mean?”
“It means your breath stinks. Go brush your teeth, I’ll order room service.” He huffed, rolling off the bed and leaving the room.
My eyes narrowed in annoyance, glaring at the door he’d just exited out of before huffing and stalking off to the bathroom.
Sitting on the marble countertop was an unopened toothbrush, some toothpaste placed next to a second, used toothbrush. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered when he got toothbrushes and toothpaste, but I was more concerned with my missing memories of last night to give it much attention.
With my mouth full of sudsy paste, Yoongi walks in.
“What do you want?” He asked in such a way, I was confused. He was the one that walked in, why was he asking me what I wanted?
Then I realized he meant for breakfast. Or lunch. I wasn’t sure what time it was.
I spit out what was in my mouth, my heart skipping a beat when I felt him carefully tuck some stray hair back behind my ear before I accidentally spit on it.
“Thanks,” I smiled shyly after I’d rinsed out my mouth.
He nodded in dismissal, “so?”
“Oh, um, anything is fine.” I finally answered the question he’d come in for.
He frowned but didn’t argue, turning to leave. He wasn’t a really expressive person, but something told me that he hadn’t been asking me what I wanted to be polite—he actually wanted me to pick something.
“Eggs and bacon!” I called out to his departing figure. He looked back at me and nodded.
I nodded as well, mentally congratulating myself as I turned to face myself in the mirror. I cringed at my reflection. My hair was an actual rats nest and my complexion looked like I had just risen from the dead. I felt a little like it too.
Making my way barefoot out of the room, I took in my surroundings. It was clear we were in a hotel suite and my stomach dropped at the thought that Yoongi had paid for this just because I didn’t want to go back home.
How much did a room like this even cost? I wondered fleetingly.
I followed the sound of Yoongi’s low voice, finding him on a couch with a phone the hotel provided pressed to his ear. He hung up when he saw me come round to the front of the couch.
“They said it will be 15 minutes. How’s the head?” He was mocking again, probably more than amused by how much alcohol I must have consumed the night before.
“It’s fine.” I snapped, trying to hide my embarrassment, “What time is it? And where are my shoes?”
He vaguely motioned to the side of the couch, his eyes not leaving me as I stalked around to find them lined up beside his own with my socks neatly tucked inside.
“Are you usually this grumpy in the morning, or is it just the hangover?” I looked up in time to see him casually brushing his hair out of his eyes and the arrogance in that simple action had annoyance flaring up inside me.
“Are you flirting or trying to start a fight right now?” I called him out, hoping for some kind of reaction, be it irritation or, better yet, embarrassment but he just shrugged noncommittal.
Huffing, I plopped down onto the couch, as far from him as possible. I didn’t really have a right to be annoyed with him, he’d pretty much taken care of me all night but I just couldn’t help but feel annoyed. A lot of it probably stemmed from my own embarrassment and I begrudgingly had to be thankful that he seemed to realize this as well.
We sat there in silence until room service came, him scrolling through something on his phone and me staring absently out the window.
When the table of food was wheeled in and Yoongi took in upon himself to uncover everything, I saw that he’d ordered us the same thing. When I looked at him in question, he just shrugged. And then I understood, it wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to decide forme, he hadn’t wanted to decide at all.
Sitting down beside him on the couch in front of the trolley, I picked up the utensils neatly wrapped in cloth and pulled a plate closer to me. “Do you want my bacon?” I offered.
He shook his head, “you eat.”
I winced, “I-I don’t actually like bacon…” I trailed off, guilty.
He squinted at me for a moment, probably trying to decide if I was mentally challenged or something. I avoided his stare, nibbling on one of the apple slices that were available.
***
I let out a loud sigh as Yoongi’s phone made another *ding*. It was the sixth notification and he hadn’t shown any sign of getting up and checking who was trying to contact him.
“It’s Jungkook. He’s worried about you.” He announced, at least acknowledging my annoyance.
Guilt gripped my heart. I’d reacted too dramatically yesterday and now that I’d calmed down and even blown off some steam, I was ready to forgive him. I knew it had been a mistake.
I slouched down a little, my body rejecting my next words, “I guess we should head back and join reality again, huh?”
He studied me for a moment, “I’m not in a hurry.”
“I think he’s been stewing in guilt long enough,” I sighed. He hesitated, surprising me, before nodding. He didn’t seem to necessarily disagree with my statement, instead he seemed to be wondering if I truly believed my statement. I did.
***
“Tasia? Tasia!” Jungkook sprung up from his seat on my couch and rushed over. “I’m so sorry, okay? Please forgive me”
“Of course I forgive you, I’m a simp,” I sighed, knowing it was true.
Jungkook sagged in relief and wrapped his arms around me, pulling a wheezed huff out of me at the tightness of his hold. I had been holding Yoongi’s hand because I hadn’t admittedly been ready to face everyone alone and despite Yoongi being a little unapproachable, the events the evening before had made us much closer. Even if neither of us would admit it.
“You’re gonna break me,” I breathed out, doing my best to pull away. He let me go.
“Hobi-hyung is talking to the landlord right now, I promise we’ll do our best to make sure you still have a place to stay. I’m really sorry,” his big doe eyes stared into me and I held back the urge to pull him back into a hug.
Hobi-hyung? We? I’d heard him call Hoseok that before, so I knew that was who he was referring to, but what I couldn’t understand was what any of the others had to do with the situation.
“He’s talking to the landlord?” I echoed. Jungkook nodded but didn’t elaborate and frankly I was a little too scared to ask.
“Um, alright,” I wasn’t really sure what to say anymore so I just moved towards the couch, bringing Yoongi with me.
He hadn’t said anything the whole time but he hadn’t pulled away either so I decided to keep him as close as possible for as long as he’d let me. At this point, his warm hand in mine was the only thing grounding me and keeping me from getting lost in the panic. Something told me he knew it too.
Pausing, you realized there was only one open seat on the couch. Yoongi obviously had noticed long before me, though, because he didn’t even hesitate letting go of my hand and taking a seat on the arm rest next to the open seat. He didn’t motion for me to sit, or even really give me any indication that his actions had been for me…but it was pretty obvious he’d done it for me.
Glancing about the room, Jungkook was the only one paying attention to us. Taehyung looked exhausted, staring blankly at the wall, Jimin was resting heavily into him focusing on whatever Jin was telling him in Korean, and Namjoon had his nose in a book, looking completely oblivious of his surroundings. My face flushed and I ducked my head, taking a seat beside Yoongi. My shoulder pressed against his side as I did my best not to disturb Taeyung who was sat next to me on the cushion. I was a little surprised when, not looking up from his phone, Yoongi dropped his hand down onto my lap and laced our fingers.
I couldn’t help but look at Jungkook, wondering what the man I was in love with thought about Yoongi’s and I’s new relationship. I couldn’t help the feeling of pain that shot through my heart when he stared fondly at our hands.
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Since I hadn’t really planned to go anywhere, it didn’t take me very long to get ready at all. I had let my hair air dry, I had no intention of putting on makeup and my clothes consisted of black leggings and an oversized white t-shirt. These were all decisions I regretted deeply the moment I told Namjoon I was ready and he’d replied with, “let’s go to the library”
Public? He wanted to go out in public? Normally I wouldn’t have given it a second thought, because really, who dresses up to study? But the fact that I was going to be accompanied by an unrealistically attractive man had me second guessing my life choices that morning.
The memory of what those girls thought of me when I was seen with them flashed through my mind and I grimaced. I didn’t need a rerun of yesterday.
“You sure you don’t want to just stay here?” I asked, hoping he would see the desperation in my eyes and have pity.
“No, we should go somewhere the others won’t feel tempted to follow and interrupt” I slouched at his words.
“Kay…” I sniffled, staring longingly at my kitchen table. He rolled his eyes at my antics, grabbed my bag and led the way out of my home.
In the time it’d taken for me to eat breakfast, he had showered, styled his hair and transformed into some kind of wandering, homeless, monk. Even stranger was how well he was pulling it off.
I’d successfully dodged Jimin thus far, although I had a feeling he wasn’t trying all that hard to interact with me either. He, Seokjin, and Hoseok had all gone back to Jungkook’s before Jungkook and I had even finished our conversation. And although I hadn’t checked, I suspected that along with Jungkook, Taehyung and Yoongi were asleep.
Under any other circumstances, I would never have left strange men alone in my home, but with Jungkook being there and them being the people he trusted most…I felt that it was somewhat safe to leave them unattended for a while. That saying, I was also piss poor so it wasn’t like I owned anything these aristocrats would want.
“Your school has a library, yes?” Namjoon broke through my thoughts as we trotted down the stairs to the ground floor.
Now it was my turn to roll my eyes, huffing, “of course”
If I had been looking I would’ve seen the smirk on his face.
We were about halfway to my school when I began to have that itching feeling that I had forgotten something.
Patting my legging pockets as subtly as possible, I mentally did a checklist.
Phone? Check. Wallet…my wallet! My bag!
“Oh no!” I gasped.
Namjoon jumped a little at my outburst, shooting me an annoyed but confused glare.
“My bag! It’s—oh.” I drooped as he held up my bag that he’d been carrying. A fierce blush shaded my cheeks.
I stayed quiet the rest of the way there, more or less shrugging off all his attempts to start a conversation. The building embarrassment from the growing list of stupid mistakes I kept making around them had my mind otherwise preoccupied.
When we got to the library, the calm, focused atmosphere rapidly relieved me of my anxiety. We settled at a table by the windows and it was when he sat next to me and leaned in to read what I was setting out before us, I realized just how good he smelled.
I inwardly groaned. How was I supposed to not think of this man as more than Jungkook’s best friend when he 1. Looked like a greek god 2. Smelled devine, and 3. Had the biggest brain of anyone I’d ever met.
Still, I sent him a shy smile in hopes of hiding my internal battle.
The day carried on quickly and I was astonished by how much more things made sense when he explained them. He was also unexpectedly patient, so at the times my brain just wouldn’t comprehend what he was trying to explain, he would calmly figure out new ways to explain instead of getting annoyed. I would’ve gotten annoyed with me ten times over if I had been in his place.
“Want to take a break?” He asked after my third brain fart in a row.
I bit my lip, unsure. “Can we?”
He was already sacrificing so much of his time to help me study, but I really needed to be away from the books for a while.
“Yeah, of course. You pack up, I’ll get a ride and then we’ll go eat” he stated, grabbing his phone off the table and stepping away.
I wasn’t exactly sure what he had in mind. My thoughts were that we were just going to go to the food court, but it was clear he had different expectations. Whatever, he’d been kind enough to help me this much, I wasn’t going to complain over where he wanted to eat. So I did as told and packed up my bag.
It wasn’t long before he returned.
“He said he’d pick us up,” he announced, again coming to sit next to me.
“Who?”
“Hoseok,” he elaborated, not looking up from his phone. He was sitting close enough and in such a way that I could easily see what was on the screen, but out of respect and slight disinterest, I turned my attention elsewhere.
“Ah”
A few minutes of silence passed and my attention had returned to his phone. I hadn’t even noticed that I was leaning into him or that he had angled his phone so I had a batter view until we were approached.
“Tasia!” I jerked back at the sound of my name, looking around to find who had called it. I instantly recognized the woman, a friendly acquaintance I knew from highschool.
“Bea! Hey!” I greeted, returning the somewhat awkward hug she pulled me into with a couple pats on the back.
Pulling back, she helped herself to the seat across from me and her gaze understandably wandered over to the man sitting beside me, who was much more interested in his phone than her. He’d actually slouched back into his chair, looking the most unapproachable I’d seen him.
That didn’t deter her. “Who’s this?” she wiggled her eyebrows at me and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. The woman was acting like we were in grade school and I was sitting next to my crush.
She wasn’t too far off on the “crush” part though.
“This is my friend Namjoon,” at the sound of his name, his eyes trailed up to meet mine, “Namjoon, this is Beatrice”
For the first time, Namjoon looked at her. He didn’t say anything, just stared. It was like he was waiting for her to do something worthwhile to pay him back for the attention he was giving her. I squirmed in my seat. Why was he being so rude?
“I didn’t know you went here!” I did, I’d seen her in the hall once before, but for the sake of breaking the ice, I pretended I didn’t. “What are you studying?”
She seemed grateful for the escape, “I’m an art major! What’s your major?”
“I’m a psychology major”
“Oh, so you’re learning to read minds?” I stared at her for a second, deciding whether or not she was being serious.
Taking the safe bet, I just laughed and shook my head.
“Nothing that cool. Though if they ever give telepathy classes, I’ll be the first in line” I laughed, the strained interaction already taking its toll on my energy reserves.
“So what exactly is-” she was cut off by Namjoon’s voice.
“Yeah?” I turned to see his phone pressed to his ear.
“In the library…Okay…Yeah” with that he hung up, shoving his phone into his pocket.
Returning my attention to Beatrice, I smiled apologetically.
“Hoseok is outside,” Namjoon announced, flicking at my ponytail to get my attention.
“Oh, okay”
“I’ll walk you guys out! I need to get some food anyways, I’m starving” Beatrice groaned, rubbing her belly.
A part of me admired her confidence. Even after being stared down, she was still making the effort to interact with us.
On a whim, I offered, “We’re headed out to eat right now too, wanna come?”
She lit up at my offer, “Yeah! Where are we going?”
“Um…” I looked at Namjoon for guidance, but he ignored me, grabbed my bag and walked away.
“Oh! Guess we’re going then!” She laughed and we both walked quickly to catch up with him.
I wanted to call him out, tell him that his legs were almost twice as long as ours, but I knew he wouldn’t appreciate being told off in public. I didn’t even know him well enough to tell him off in private.
At the pace he was walking, we got to the front parking lot in record time.
Leaning against the hood of a grey Charger was Hoseok and the very last person I wanted to see—Jimin.
Out of reflex, I grabbed the back of Namjoon’s navy kimono. He looked back at me curiously, “what?”
“Uh, n-nothing” I shook my head, letting him go.
Jimin spotted us first, coming to meet us halfway. In a very lazy fashion, he bumped into Namjoon in what vaguely resembled a hug.
“Anastasia” Hoseok singsonged in a way that felt somewhat mocking, “you brought a friend”
“I-uh-yeah. This is my friend Beatrice” I introduced, stiffening when Hoseok threw his arm around my shoulders the same way he had the night before. Goosebumps travelled across my skin as I recalled his hot breath fanning across my neck.
“Hello, Beatrice” I couldn’t see his face, but from the saccharine tone he used, I knew he was smirking at her.
She wasn’t immune to his charms and her ears instantly became red hot. “Hello!” she squeaked.
“Will you be joining us?” Now it was Jimin, who’d rested his hand on Hoseok’s shoulder and his chin on top of it. Again, I couldn’t see his face, but by the way Beatrice was fidgeting and blushing, I knew she was getting his bedroom eyes full force.
“I mean, Tasia?” She looked at me desperately, as if I was any less flustered than she was.
“Anastasia invited her” Namjoon didn’t even try to hide his displeasure.
“How exciting” Hoseok didn’t exactly sound as thrilled by the news as his words might lead you to believe, but he didn’t lose his friendly tone.
“Let’s go eat!” I blurted, lurching away from Hoseok and grabbing Beatrice by the wrist, marching off towards the car.
I knew there were only five seats in the car, but it wasn’t until I actually climbed in and scooched to the middle seat that I understood just how tight a fit it was going to be. Beatrice was on the curvier side, which just meant that she took up as much space as the boys did, leaving a little more than a foot of room in the middle for me to sit.
And of course, of course Jimin was the one that climbed in next to me. He didn’t look angry, but being pressed flush against me probably wasn’t what he wanted either.
Beatrice struggling to buckle in her seatbelt caught my attention, notifying me that I was half on it.
“Oh, sorry” I murmured and shuffled over, consequently bumping into Jimin. I tried not to react and just wait patiently for her to finish before scooting back because I was too scared to see his reaction.
Awkwardly, I twisted back to reach for my own seatbelt, freezing when a hand came to rest over mine.
“Lemme help” he murmured and I probably wouldn’t have heard him if he wasn’t leaning in so close.
“Okay!” I squeaked, wrenching my hand back. He didn’t exactly laugh at me, but the huff of air he let out and the smug grin on his lips told me that he was in fact finding amusement in my embarrassment.
The back of his hand glided across my abdomen as he pulled the seatbelt out and around. I bit my lip and averted my eyes to the roof of the car. Was this man bipolar? Suddenly Taehyung’s face popped up in my brain and I grimaced. Those two were eerily similar.
I glanced over to Beatrice, wondering what she thought of the whole situation, looking for something that told me I wasn’t going crazy, but she wasn’t paying attention. Whoever was outside the window (I couldn’t see from where I sat) had all of her focus.
Namjoon opening the front passenger door and sliding in successfully brought my attention away from Jimin strapping me in, though it was hard to ignore our shoulders bumping as he shifted to get better access to the buckle.
I could hear Hoseok standing outside Namjoon’s open door, the two discussing something in Korean and if I had to guess, I’d say it was lunch plans. I almost laughed when in the middle of Hoseok’s sentence, Namjoon pulled out his phone and started typing. I hoped Beatrice saw it, though unlikely as he was directly in front of her, so maybe she wouldn’t feel bad that he was ignoring her earlier.
“Where are we going?” I spoke up, relaxing slightly when Jimin leaned into the window and away from me, closing his eyes.
Hoseok ducked down so I could see his face and gave me a smile, “Namjoon is getting the directions”
I nodded and smiled back. It was hard not to get caught up in him, his smile was so contagious and…happy.
When he moved away and I saw his figure walk around the hood of the car, Beatrice whispered in my ear.
“I can’t decide if he’s hot or cute” I couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled up because she had spoken my thoughts.
Still laughing, I nodded my agreement.
The drive was pretty funny, with Namjoon not paying as close attention to the directions as he should have been, leading to us making more than one U-turn. Throughout, I tried my very hardest not to tip into anyone’s personal space every time we turned, knowing neither person well enough to be that close. After about half an hour of driving, Hoseok pulled into an open space on the street, a little ways down from where I knew there was an upscale restaurant.
I was nervous because I was a broke college student but I had a feeling that Beatrice was probably feeling the same way so at least I wasn’t alone. Although I was curious, didn’t you need a reservation to eat there? There was no way they got one on such short notice on a busy Saturday.
I let out a hiss of pain when I leaned in to unbuckle myself, not realizing Jimin had done the same leading to us bumping heads.
“Sorry,” I winced, rubbing my head.
“It’s okay,” he mumbled, putting a ring clad hand to his own head.
Biting my lip anxiously, I ungracefully shuffled out of the car after Beatrice, almost tripping on the curb.
The five of us gathered, making our way towards the restaurant’s front doors. There was a lot of hustle and bustle on the streets, people enjoying their Saturday to the fullest and although I probably shouldn’t have even been surprised at this point, my eyes still went wide when Hoseok put a protective arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek as we entered the restaurant, not sure how it would go. I’d never been inside before, let alone had a meal here, but still I expected the luxury and comfort that was presented before us. The moment you stepped into the well lit entrance there was beautiful gold latticing on the walls and a warm brown podium about ten feet deep into the room. I immediately felt sorely underdressed in my leggings and t-shirt.
Namjoon took the lead, strolling up to the podium where an employee stood, ready to check customers in.
The man behind the podium had short, quaffed bleach-blonde hair that clashed with the elegant black uniform he wore, his nametag reading Zach. He looked Namjoon up and down, no doubt judging his hobo-chic, but the suspicion and judgment in his eyes left quickly when he took in Jimin and Hoseok who were clearly wearing designer clothing and expensive jewelry—Hoseok’s big gold watch was hard to miss. He barely spared Beatrice and I a glance before he refocused on Namjoon.
“Hello! Do you have a reservation?” Zach’s tone was considerably brighter than I thought it would be.
I winced at the question, I was right. You needed a reservation to get in.
“Hoseok Jung” Namjoon’s voice commanded. My eyebrows shot up and I pulled away to look at Hoseok.
“I know people,” He murmured with a smirk, answering my questioning gaze.
My curiosity wasn’t exactly sated, but I would wait til we were at least seated before I started asking more questions.
Zach looked more shocked than I did at the sound of Hoseok’s name and I could see the panic in his eyes as he sputtered a little bit with his response, “You’re-of course! Your table is right over here” He bowed, ushering us around the beautiful island wall leading to the rest of the restaurant.
I don’t know why I was expecting a low lit, sultry vibe but that was not what greeted us. Instead, it was a bright, spacious room filled with soft chatter and laughter. There were modern chandeliers hanging over the bigger tables and the decor about the room was impeccable. It felt strangely welcoming.
Zach led our small group to one of the tables in the center. It was a bigger table that could sit twice as many people than we had but I wasn’t about to argue.
Hoseok absentmindedly pulled out my chair before taking the seat next to me and engaging Namjoon in conversation, both of them ignoring Zach completely. Beside me, on my other side, I noticed Jimin pull Beatrice’s seat out for her too and watched as she flushed pink. Jimin gave her a knowing smirk and went to go sit beside Namjoon who was across from us.
We were all sat fairly centered at the table, empty seats on both sides of us and for some reason that made the table seem not as big as it had before.
“Your waiter will be right with you,” Zach notified, looking a little miffed but bowed in departure nonetheless.
I made sure to give him a kind smile and said “Thanks, Zach.” He smiled back and left.
At my words, both Namjoon and Hoseok cut off whatever they were saying and looked at me.
My eyes widened. What?
“You look good today” Hoseok commented after a moment and I scoffed. He and I both knew I looked terrible. Although when he shot me a confused stare, I began to question his sanity.
Before I could say anything about his questionable sanity, a beautiful woman interrupted us and it took me a second to realize she was our waitress.
“Good afternoon,” she smiled enchantingly, making me feel small and even more out of place in this lavish restaurant. “I’m Terrance, I’ll be your waitress today” the gentle smile never left her face as she carefully passed out the menus.
“Thanks” I murmured, noticing the way Terrance eyed Beatrice. My mouth made a small “o”.
“Of course! May we start you off with something to drink?” she grinned, her eyes continuously flickering back to an oblivious Beatrice as she waited for our responses. I couldn’t help the smirk on my lips as I looked down and fiddled with the utensils that were beautifully wrapped in a cloth napkin.
“Just water” Namjoon answered dismissively, probably more oblivious than even Beatrice.
“Water for me too, what about you Bee?” I prompted. I knew from highschool that Beatrice played both sides.
She looked so flustered when agreeing that just water was fine that I had to reconsider, maybe she wasn’t as clueless as I’d pegged.
Suddenly I got a rush of excitement at the thought of the two but I squashed it down, catching Jimin’s gaze. He was relaxed back into his chair, legs crossed with an arm slung lazily over the back of Namjoon’s chair. He raised an eyebrow at me, a smirk playing on his lips.
My breath hitched at the sight, trying desperately not to get caught up in him. Luckily Hoseok saved me when he lightly nudged my arm with his elbow.
“Hey, I don’t have your number” he announced, as if for some reason that was myfault.
“My number?” I repeated like an idiot.
“Yeah,” he nodded holding up his expensive phone that was displaying his contact list.
“Twenty eight hundred contacts?! Would you be able to find it even if you did?” I guffawed, tearing my eyes away from his screen to look at him.
He just grinned, pressed on the screen a few times and held it back out for me. The recognizable “Create new contact” page was now open.
I bit my lip, contemplating. Did I really want to give my number to him? My nerves were shot enough as it were, more contact with them didn’t really seem like the best idea for my health.
My decision was steadfast in my brain, it really was, but the moment he smiled at me my brain just stopped functioning and I autopiloted my number into his phone.
His smile grew at my actions and I couldn’t even find it in me to regret them.
“So how did you guys all meet?” Beatrice asked suddenly, probably feeling like the odd man out and I suddenly realized I hadn’t introduced anyone after Namjoon.
“Oh! Um, do you remember Jungkook? From highschool?” I asked.
“Of course!” Her eyes lit up, “are you guys still friends? I remember that by graduation you two were basically connected at the hip.”
I laughed, memories sparking in my mind. It was true, we’d both been pretty lost teenagers, resulting in us becoming emotionally dependent on each other. Three, almost four years later, we’d grown up a lot and made our own friends. We didn’t need each other to survive anymore.
“They moved in together” Jimin spoke up with a smugness before I could confirm Jungkook’s and mine’s ongoing friendship status. Beatrice’s eyes grew comically and she whipped her head to look at me for confirmation.
“No! No. We did not” I corrected, holding my hands up as if to stop her thoughts. “And that’s not even the point. Point is, Hoseok, Jimin, and Namjoon all grew up with him” I said, pointing at each man respectively.
“Oh really? What was he like growing up?” she asked what I’d been wanting for a while.
They stopped to think about it for a moment.
“Irreplaceable.” Jimin eventually surmised.
I was about to coo at the statement, but Namjoon interrupted me.
“Woah, hey, careful! What are you trying to do, eyeball it from the empire state building?” We all turned to see what he was talking about and I had to roll my lips together to stop from laughing. A young boy had been pouring water into glasses and Namjoon was right, he was pouring from way too high.
The boy apologized and all was forgiven and forgotten and the afternoon carried on seamlessly after that, conversation coming easy.
Exiting the fancy establishment two hours later, I got a call. Pulling out my phone, I glanced noncommittal at the caller ID but a smile unknowingly stretched across my face at Jungkook’s name.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Tasia!” I sobered up at his frantic tone of voice.
I’d love to hear your feedback! It’s what keeps us authors going :)
Warnings:Violence that you can’t really call violence?
Um, I love you, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get this out I was dealing with some issues. I’m doing a lot better now so I’ll be able to more regularly update! And longer updates! This one is a little shorter but I needed to get something out.
Love you x
——————–
“It passes, but it does not pass away” - F. Scott Fitzgerald
…..
After I had recovered from Taehyung’s disarming good looks, we finished cleaning up the kitchen and surprisingly didn’t wake anyone up, though when I voiced my concern he’d had let me know that they could all sleep through a tornado. I knew Jungkook was like that and if I took a second to think about it, it made sense that the rest of them would be like that too. I remembered a year or two ago, when I was babysitting my cousins, they’d been able to sleep peacefully through their siblings rather enthusiastic reenactment of King Arthur and Merlin. I suppose if I was around people all the time too, I might be able to sleep through my trip to OZ as well.
Now that everything was cleaned up and put away, we stood at the edge of the living room looking over the six sleeping figures. I bit my lip, should we wake them? I wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of waking any of them up, but the thought of them spending the night in my home was just as nerve-wracking.
Taehyung must have seen my face because he offered to wake them.
For some reason, one unbeknownst to me, I grabbed his wrist before he could get far. “No, don’t”
He looked back at me questioningly, but I didn’t have an answer for him.
“They look so tired, is it okay to wake them?” I finally whispered out, suddenly feeling the need to be quiet even though we’d been anything but not five minutes prior.
An odd look passed over his face but it was gone before I could place it.
“Where do you all sleep at Jungkook’s, anyway? He only has one guest room” This question had been gnawing at me for a while.
Taehyung didn’t hesitate, “three in Jungkook’s, two in the guest and two on the couch”
“Three in Kook’s?” I couldn’t imagine. He only had a queen bed (he’d wanted to buy a bigger one but it wouldn’t fit in the room), how had they been able to fit three grown men comfortably? Although, looking at them curled awkwardly, in neck cramping positions, maybe comfort wasn’t a necessity for them to sleep.
“Yeah, Jin-hyung, Hoseok-hyung, and Yoongi-hyung. Jimin and I took the guest bed and Namjoon-hyung and Jungkook took the couches”
“Jungkook took the couch?” I was becoming more and more convinced that the Jungkook I knew and the Jungkook they knew were two different people. The Jungkook I knew wouldn’t even share his bed with any of his friends, much less give it up entirely. In fact, if he could avoid it, he wouldn’t have his friends over at his place at all. The Jungkook I knew was territorial and a bit selfish, always wanting to be the best at everything he did. And he was.
I didn’t notice Taehyung nodding, too caught up in my own mind.
“Anastasia?”
“Mm?” I hummed, glancing his way. I kept having to remind myself that he was a con artist and his sweet, innocent smile was nothing but a play to get something out of me. But what, though? The million-dollar question right there.
“Where should I sleep?”
“Huh?” Now he had my full attention. “Oh, um, take advantage of the empty apartment next door and get a good night’s sleep”
He slouched into a pout at my words.
“But it’s lonely, don’t you have a guest room too?” He stared down at me with hopeful eyes.
Oh yeah, I have a guest room.
“Oh right, uh, yeah I guess you can take it? Can’t promise it’s very fresh, I haven’t aired it out in a hot minute” I warned, cringing inwardly.
“That’s okay, I’ll sleep with the window open” He shrugged, sauntering off towards the said room. He’d obviously noticed that Jungkook and I had the same floor layout.
I jumped when suddenly Yoongi got up off the couch and followed after him, making me wonder how long he’d been awake or if he’d ever even been asleep in the first place.
I did one last sweep of the room before I awkwardly made my way to my own, changing into a pair of pajamas. After making a quick trip to the bathroom to wash up, I climbed into bed, my body instantly relaxing. I had a full day of studying with Namjoon tomorrow and it would do me well to get a good, restful sleep or at least the illusion of it.
***
“Turn that shit off” Somone growled in my ear, effectively pulling me from unconsciousness. Patting blindly around my bedside table, I did as told and shut off the blaring alarm coming from my phone.
“Kook, get off” I grunted, slapping Jungkook’s arm impatiently after I’d attempted to roll onto my back but his arm had been too firmly wrapped around my waist to allow such movement.
He groaned and rolled away, immediately falling back to sleep. Briefly, I wondered when he had come to my room because I usually didn’t let him sleep in my bed as it wasn’t good for my heart, but I quickly decided it wasn’t really a pressing question. I couldn’t exactly blame him for choosing my bed over sharing a couch with multiple people, after all.
Rolling my eyes at him, I climbed out of bed and stumbled to my closet, silently picking out a change of clothes. Tip-toeing to my door, I carefully opened it and peeked my head out, taking a second to listen for any sign of life. I grinned, pleased when everyone appeared to still be sleeping.
Jetting to the bathroom as quickly as possible so I wouldn’t be seen in my PJs, I closed and locked the door securely behind me. Wincing, I turned the shower on, praying that the noise wouldn’t disturb anyone before removing my clothes and slipping in.
I was in and out of the shower in record time, speedily drying off and throwing on clothes. Being naked, even with a locked door between us, when there were 7 gorgeous men around made me jittery with nerves.
This time opening the door, I was positive that someone would be awake by now but as I made my way into the living room—everyone was still asleep.
The panic set in instantly. It was one thing to see them sleeping in the middle of the night with Taehyung, but what if my presence woke them and they found me staring at them? What if they thought I was watching them sleep?!
Spinning around, I headed back to my room to wake Jungkook. He’d know how to handle the situation.
“Psst! Kook!” I hissed, shaking his shoulder, “Wake up!”
He groggily opened his eyes, licking his dry lips as his gaze focused on mine above him. His mouth pulled into a smile that made my heart skip.
“Hey, baby” I jerked back at his morning voice, even though I’d heard it a thousand times before.
“Get up, you have to wake everyone” It took everything in me not to stutter when he looked at me like that.
I almost wanted to take my words back when he frowned and pulled away, curling into the blankets.
“You do it,” he grumbled.
“Wha-! Jungkook, I can’t! They’re your friends, not mine!” I insisted, shaking him again.
He barely turned to look back at me. “I don’t wanna. It’s okay to wake them, they won’t mind if you wake them” his words becoming progressively more garbled.
“Jungkook!” I resisted stomping my feet lest I anger the downstairs neighbors, but my clenched fists still tempted me to hit him.
Deciding better than to act on my violent impulses, I stormed out of the room, ending up where I started—in the main room. Taking a deep breath, I eyed the possible candidates. There was absolutely no way I was going to wake up Hoseok or Jimin, Namjoon intimidated me so he was out of the question as well which left…Seokjin.
My thoughts went back to yesterday morning when he’d done his best to make me feel comfortable and welcomed. I wasn’t feeling very enthusiastic about undoubtedly ruining any good feelings he had for me by waking him up, but my only other option was Taehyung and he was with Yoongi who I was still terrified of and if I accidentally woke him up too it would only make everything worse.
Biting my lip, I accepted my fate and carefully stepped over a sleeping Jimin on the floor and crouched in front of Seokjin, not wanting him to find me looming over him when he woke.
Very,very gently I patted his thigh as I couldn’t reach his shoulder from where I was without the risk of losing my balance and tipping into his lap. I softly called his name and at first, there was no response, but after some persistent nudging he finally roused. His awareness seemed to come a lot sooner than Jungkook’s ever did, his eyes blinking open as if he’d only been resting them for a few moments, not the entire night.
However, when they settled on me and he just stared and blinked for a few seconds, I realized that he wasn’t quite as awake as he appeared to be.
“Hi” I whispered with a small wave, still crouched. I didn’t want to stand up quite yet and risk making him more confused than he already was and possibly uncomfortable as well.
“Hi,” he responded, his voice low and raspy as he turned his head to take in Hoseok next to him and Namjoon on the floor. His attention came back my way but didn’t stay long as he focused on Jimin’s figure behind me.
“I was hoping you might help me wake them up?” I felt so bad for waking him up that on a whim I’d decided that if he helped me, I would suck it up and wake some of them up as well.
He nodded, taking me in for real now that he was a little more awake.
“Your hair is wet” he murmured so quietly that I almost missed it, reaching out to feel it between his fingers.
“I just took a shower” I explained nervously.
“You look pretty,” he concluded, not giving me a chance to reply before shaking Hoseok awake.
Hoseok jumped, startling me enough that I jerked back and lost my already precarious balance. This would have been fine, except Seokjin had tried to grab my hand in an attempt to catch me but didn’t get a good enough grip making me lose my footing entirely, sending me back…on top of Jimin.
The said victim cried out, curling into a ball with his hands over his crotch that had just been elbowed.
“Oh no! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! Are you okay?” My hands fluttered uselessly over him, not sure what to do to make things better. I’d never stuck around after nailing a guy in the jewels so I wasn’t exactly sure what the proper protocol was or if there even was a protocol. Was there a way to lessen the pain or did he just have to wait it out?
“Fuck off!” He growled and I quickly pulled back, not expecting his tone even though I should’ve. I could hear Seokjin and Hoseok snickering behind me and my humiliation grew tenfold.
“I’m so sorry” I murmured one last time before standing up and dashing to my room, fully prepared to never leave it again.
Slamming the door behind me, I dove face-first onto my bed, letting out a groan into my pillow.
“What happened?” I’d almost forgotten Jungkook was there.
Anger stemming from embarrassment licked up my spine and I whipped my head around to glower at him. “I told you to fucking wake them up!” I seethed, making sure I was quiet enough not to be heard from outside the room.
He seemed utterly confused and rightfully so, but I wasn’t in the mood to see reason.
“What happened?” He asked, reaching out cautiously to rub my arm. His question brought back the feeling of humiliation and I shoved my face back into my pillow, letting out a low whine.
I wanted to curl up and die. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole so I would never have to face Jungkook’s too-attractive-to-be-real friends ever again.
“Tasia” he prompted gently.
“I elbowed Jimin in the dick, okay?” I snapped, knowing he would find out anyway.
“You-…what?” If he wasn’t confused before, he sure as hell was now.
“I’m never leaving this room” I mumbled to myself, ignoring my baffled best friend.
“Tasia”
“Ugh, he probably hates me”
“Tasia”
“Everyone closest to you hates me, Ihate me”
“Tasia!”
“Jungkook, I’m gonna move away and I’m never coming back, okay?” I ended, looking at him with tears in my eyes.
He rolled his. “You’re such a drama queen, no one hates you”
I guffawed, “says you! I’m positive the six men on the other side of that door have opposing opinions”
This made his brow furrow, “Why would you think that?”
“Because! The first night I meet them, Seokjin interrogates me, Jimin and Taehyung give me the third degree, I made Yoongi fall and I’m pretty sure they all blame me for you not going back to Korea and I mean, are they even wrong? Am I the reason you didn’t go back to your family?”
“Stop, stop, stop, woah. Tasia, no one hates you or blames you. I’m my own person, I make my own choices and they know that. They also know you’re not the only reason I stayed.”
Things in his story weren’t lining up with my personal experiences with them, but I decided not to comment on that. And not the only reason he stayed? Did this have something to do with why he was sent here in the first place? A long-dormant curiosity flared back to life but I knew right now was not the time to confront him.
“Yoongi still hates me. And Jimin, there’s no way he doesn’t hate me, I just….” I couldn’t get the words out.
“Yoongi-hyung doesn’t hate you and Jimin might put salt in your drink or shake your soda in retaliation, but he won’t hate you either”
I didn’t answer, knowing the only thing to come out of my mouth right then would be complaints.
“Come on, you have a study date with Namjoonie-hyung today, get up,” Jungkook said shoving me off the bed.
I let out a squeal, resisting the urge to curse at him.
Warnings: Pretty vanilla for now, just setting up the plot.
——————–
“I’m acting like I’m okay, please don’t interrupt my perfomance” - Unknown
…..
I paced back and forth in my living room, unhappy with how I left Jungkook. I knew the others cared for him, I knew Taehyung cared for him, but what if Jungkook said something else that tipped the scale for the rest of them and they all started brawling? What if someone got seriously injured?
Regret pooled in my belly, I shouldn’t have let Jungkook talk me into going home.
I sat down on my couch and rested my head in my hands as my leg bounced with anxiety. Nibbling my lip, I contemplated going back. But when I thought about it, what help could I have given when I was the problem! If I went back over, I could be the thing that tipped the scale and started a brawl.
Sighing in resignation, I leaned back into the couch and rested my head against the cushions. I stayed like that for a minute or two before deciding that it was a waste of time to sit around twiddling my thumbs. I may as well get some homework done whilst I waited for news from Jungkook.
I heaved myself off the couch and clumsily stumbled over my own feet as I headed towards the front door—where I usually left my bag. A split second of panic went through me when I didn’t find it there, but then I remembered that Seokjin had left it by the door in Jungkook’s apartment. Groaning, I crouched down into a ball.
I had everything in that bag, my laptop, my notes, my books, even the novel I was in the middle of reading. Letting myself tip backward, I sprawled out on the floor, contemplating my life choices.
And that’s how Jungkook found me—spread out like a starfish on the floor, staring absently at the ceiling.
“Hey,” his sudden presence had my limbs folding to my chest like a lawn chair.
“Shit” I hissed and scrambled to my feet. How had I not heard him come in?
When I turned to face him, my embarrassment turned to horror when I saw that he was not alone. Beside him in the open doorway stood Yoongi, holding two full bags of take-out.
“Sorry, we didn’t mean to scare you” Jungkook apologized with a guilty smile.
“Don’t worry about it,” I waved off, trying to hide the shake in my voice before motioning to the bags, “that food?”
“Yeah!” Jungkook agreed, stepping in further so that Yoongi could come inside all the way.
I made a move to close the door behind him, but more people trailed in after him until there were seven men total standing in my living room. Taehyung and Jimin were the most surprising guests. Hoseok, who had come in after Yoongi, also held bags full of food and Jungkook held my schoolbag in one hand but the rest were visibly empty-handed.
For a brief moment, I wondered how much they spent feeding themselves because they seemed to eat a lot.
“Thought we could all eat here? My place is so messy because of them” Jungkook didn’t wait for my response and instead set my bag down where I usually did and headed straight for the couch while Yoongi and Hoseok headed for the open kitchen/dining space to put the food on the table.
“Don’t lie, it was messy before that. The only place you keep tidy is your room” I responded with a scoff.
Jungkook let out a small laugh and to my surprise, Taehyung came to sit on the arm of the couch, placing his hand lazily on Jungkook’s shoulder for balance. What had I missed in the 30 minutes I was absent?
I was astonished by how easy they were acting with each other, not a hint of tension. In fact, they almost seemed closer.I’d definitely missed something.
A light hand on my waist caught my attention and I looked back to see Seokjin.
“May we use your dishes for the food?” he asked politely and I turned to look into the kitchen where Hoseok was already helping himself to my cabinets.
Rushing over, I showed him where the plates were and right as I was opening the right cabinet, I noticed Yoongi fishing through my drawers for, presumably, utensils. He was about to open my junk drawer where I shoved every miscellaneous screw, lightbulb, pen, paper, coughdrop and even sometimes mail that I didn’t have a home for, but I lunged for his hand and yanked hard. Apparently too hard because it caused him to lose his balance and stumble into me, sending us both to the floor.
It took me a second to catch my breath and a second longer to realize that he was on top of me with his legs entangled with mine. Our eyes met and the world faded out for a moment until he dropped his forehead to my chest breathed out a quiet ‘fuck’. The warmth of his breath made me shiver as a thousand little goosebumps appeared on my skin.
Using his arms, he pushed himself off me and a whoosh of cold air came between us. Hoseok, who had been laughing hardily at our expense, bent down to help us both up. Once we were both upright Yoongi pretty much immediately left the room and I had a nagging feeling that I should probably go after him and apologize, but I ignored it and turned to face Hoseok, who was still grinning ear to ear but at least his snickering had subsided.
“You okay?” he asked, unable to help the giggle that followed as he brushed the hair that had fallen in my face back behind my ear.
“I’m great, thanks” I rolled my eyes, swatting his hand away. I was far too embarrassed to be cordial.
“Don’t be upset,” he coaxed.
“I’m not, I just…I think Yoongi is” I sighed quietly, glancing in the direction he’d escaped in.
Hoseok looked delighted by my confession, “He’s not.”
I huffed, not believing him for a second, turning around and getting the utensils from their drawer.
My eyes went wide, though, when Hoseok threw an arm over my shoulder, resting it across my chest and pulling me into his.
“I’ll prove it if you want” his breath was hot in my ear.
For a split second, I was tempted, but then I remembered they all hated me and this was probably just a follow-up game to Jimin’s pash sesh.
“No thanks,” my tone came out a little harsh as I shrugged him off and walked away.
He didn’t stop me.
I made my way to the living room, placing the acquired knives and forks down on the table as I passed by before taking a seat on the floor in front of Jungkook, leaning back against his legs. There was still a free spot on the couch, what with Taehyung still on the armrest and Jimin, Namjoon and Seokjin also on the floor, but it was between Jungkook and Yoongi and if Yoongi was mad, I didn’t want to make it worse by sitting next to him.
I made a mental note to apologize to him before the night ended.
“Okay! Come eat!” We all looked up to Hoseok who stood at the kitchen table, taking out boxes of food from the bags.
Taehyung was the first up, practically vaulting off Jungkook as he darted to the table. Jimin wasn’t far behind, followed closely by Jungkook, Namjoon, and Yoongi. Seokjin and I took our time, him being a gentleman and helping me up. I smiled and offered a shy ‘thanks’.
The night went on fairly uneventful until we eventually migrated back to the couch to watch movies. Somehow, they’d fit five people on my 3-seater couch, leaving Taehyung, Namjoon, and me to sit on the floor. Although the earlier tension had seemed to have magically disappeared, I was still wary of Taehyung.
When I had hesitantly gone to sit between him and Namjoon, he’d smirked flirtatiously at me. It was the same smirk I’d noticed on Jimin’s lips a couple of times—like they had a secret that no one else was in on.
“You don’t have any classes tomorrow, right?” Junkook asked randomly when Yoongi got up to pick out the next movie, pulling me from my thoughts.
“No, I don’t, but I haven’t gotten any homework done the past two nights, thanks to you, so I’m dedicating the entirety of tomorrow to that” I declared, shooting down any plans he might’ve wanted to make.
He hummed, pouting a bit, “are you still having trouble with your thesis?”
I groaned, partially because yes I was still having trouble with it but mostly because Jungkook had no filter and had just blabbed in front of everyone that I was struggling with my schoolwork.
“You know, Namjoon is really smart, he could help you,” Hoseok offered.
At the sound of his name, Namjoon looked up from his phone.
“Huh?” We all laughed at the irony.
‘Really smart’, how smart could the guy be if he didn’t even have a major and was only taking, what was it, two classes?
“Nothing, really, it’s—”
“Tasia was wondering if you could help her with her thesis” Taehyung cut me off.
“Wha—” I whipped around to stare at him in disbelief. He just grinned and winked.
“Okay,” came Namjoon’s reply and I turned back, not expecting him to have agreed.
“No, honestly, you’d have to have taken the class to be able to help. I mean, I’m in the class and I barely understand how to do it” I waved off.
“Which class is it for?”
“Psychological Statistics” I answered immediately.
He was quiet for a second before nodding, “I can help.”
“I just said—”
“I’ve taken the class” he interrupted, sparking some irritation in me but it was overshadowed by my surprise.
“You’ve taken the class?”
He nodded, “I got my Master’s in Psychology two years ago”
The nonchalant way he had said it made that tidbit of information seem like it wasn’t a big deal, but it most definitely was.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Yeah! Joonie has a bunch of degrees. Business, Accounting, Psychology, and Mathematics” Hoseok bragged proudly.
I felt like my brain was going to explode. How could he have that many degrees when he didn’t look anywhere near old enough to have gone to school for the amount of time it would require.
“He…what?” I could barely get the words out.
“He’s got a sexy brain” Seokjin threw with a chuckle and I got the feeling I’d missed some inside joke, but at this point I was speechless so I just nodded and let it go.
“So, if you want, I can help” Namjoon offered, ducking his head so our eyes could meet.
My face flushed but I nodded nonetheless.
“If you wouldn’t mind…” I trailed, scared that if I accepted his help he’d be annoyed and grow to dislike me as well. He’d been so casual this morning, I didn’t want to push the boundaries of what he would put up with from me.
However, when I thought about it, all of them seemed to have had some sort of change of heart with me, though I’d be willing to bet money that it had something to do with Jungkook’s earlier ‘if you want to be in my life, you need to accept that she’s a part of it’ comment.
“I don’t mind”
“While you’re at it, Namjoon-hyung, help her with the rest of her homework. The faster she gets it done, the sooner we can hang out” Jungkook said.
“Since when did you need me around to hang out with your friends? Besides, what about yourhomework, Kook? Have you done it?” I turned back, glaring at him suspiciously.
“I always do my homework, Taisa” Jungkook smirked, flicking my nose with his finger.
I blushed fiercely and looked away.
“Whatever” I grumbled, shifting my weight so I was facing completely away from him and towards the TV.
“And we don’t need you there to have fun, it’s just more fun when you’re there” he finished.
And so it was settled, Namjoon would be over, bright and early tomorrow to help me with my homework.
As the hours passed, I became fully engrossed in the movie that played on the telly so it was startling when a weight came to rest against my shoulder, but not nearly as startling as the fact that the weight was Taehyung’s head.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that he had fallen asleep and probably wasn’t snuggled into me of his own accord. When I looked around the room to see if any of the others had noticed, I realized that most of them were asleep too. I couldn’t see Jungkook, who was directly behind me, but Hoseok, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jin were all asleep and Jimin, who’d gotten up earlier to get water and opted for the floor when he’d returned, was now laying down passed out. I couldn’t help my eyes from trailing down where his shirt had ridden up ever so slightly, highlighting his slim, fit waist.
My attention came hurtling back to Taehyung when he looped his arm around mine and snuggled closer, making my heart rate speed up.
In a moment of panic, I nudged him awake. The second that I did, I regretted it, but by then it was too late. His eyes slowly blinked open, staring up at me. It took him a moment to become fully coherent and pull away. His movements were sluggish, but he surprisingly didn’t fall back asleep and instead watched me as I got up and moved to the kitchen to clean.
He didn’t immediately follow me like I was for some reason expecting, so I was able to throw all the trash away and begin washing the dishes in peace.
“I’ll help”
I jumped a bit at the deep voice behind me, almost dropping a plate into the sink.
“Taehyung?” The surprise was clear as day in my voice.
“Anastasia.” I bit back a shiver at the way my name sounded from his deep, sleepy voice.
Snapping out of it, I turned back to the dishes, “it’s okay, I can do it”
“I’m really good at washing dishes,” he insisted, coming next to me and submerging his hands into the soapy water as well.
“O-okay” I squeaked, taking a second to appreciate his flawless side profile. Honestly, did the man even have a bad side?
We washed the dishes in silence for a while before he broke it. “I’d like to apologize”
“Huh?”Apologize?
“For my behavior,” he continued, “I was angry, but it was wrong of me to take it out on you”
I couldn’t understand.
“So,” he paused to take my hands in his and make me face him, “I’m sorry for being intentionally rude to you”
I was at a loss for words. Was this even the same person?
“I forgive you” I eventually croaked out, the oxygen leaving my lungs when the most beautiful smile appeared on his face.
A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Here it is, my last story for this special month, the thirteenth story I promised you guys! And… it’s a OT7 fanfic! I usually prefer to write only for one member at a time, but for this story I wanted something special so I included all of them. The relationship with the reader can be read however you like, be it romantic, platonic or just as a friend! Up to you! Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this series and that you like this story for the finale. Love you guys and let me know what you think!
Summary: You take all the members of BTS to go out camping during the Halloween weekend. Just the eight of you. What could possibly go wrong?
Warnings: HORROR! But not quite, just a spooky idea I had and wanted to share! Hope you all like it!
Word Count: 4769
There was a particular difficult issue that you always knew would come up when you first got to know the seven boys of BTS. Getting close to them, befriend them, caring for them would end up being incredibly frustrating during special days, like birthdays or Christmas or Valentine’s Day. And the reason why was simple: they were rich and already had any and everything you could envision them wanting for themselves.
Coming up with gift ideas became so stressful to you, that the boys had to put on an intervention one day and make you promise that you would never buy any of them a present ever again. So, since then, special days were celebrated with kind words and long messages to each other, lots of food and drinks if you could all be together and an overall good time in each other’s company.
And yet, when a friend of yours got a job as park ranger at a beautiful national park with amazing views, you got an idea. That particular park was closed down as they were redoing some of the roads and adding trails for hikers, being safer to just close off access to any pedestrians or campers for the month of October. So, if your friend could get you and the boys into the park, no one would be there to recognize them or bother them. And they had the weekend of Halloween off just in time.
It took a bit of persuading, but it’s not something Taffy hadn’t done before for her friend’s or something you had done for her back in the day. It would be just for the weekend, when no one would be working in construction either way, and she would be at the station in case anything went wrong.
In your eyes, it was the perfect gift you could give them. The boys liked camping, but they only ever did it with a bunch of cameras, never really just by themselves. They have been talking about a trip like this for months. And you could offer them just that.
“Have a good stay up there, babe” Taffy’s voice came in through the walkie talkie she gave you as you met her at the station to come in.
“Thanks, I owe you big time, queen” you radio back at her, a smile on your lips as you look out the van’s window while you continue up the path.
“Yeah, you do. Just watch out for wildlife and new forks in the roads. They haven’t put up the new signs yet” she warns.
“Will do. See you tomorrow.”
With that you decide to keep the walkie in your backpack before you ended up losing it.
“I still can’t believe we are actually doing this!” an excited Taehyung next to you says, a boxy smile and sparkling eyes thrown at you.
“It’s going to be fun. We’ll put up the tents, make a fire and eat some s’mores…” Hoseok chips in, sitting across the table from you with that usual cheery smile of his. “We’ll drink some beers and dance under the stars!”
“Yeah, I don’t know about the smores” Yoongi warns, on the other side of the moving van, body leaning against the window on his side, but looking your way. “We didn’t buy any marshmallows, so unless you packed some, no can do.”
“What?!” Hoseok turns around in his seat to talk to Namjoon, who was currently on the passenger side upfront, next to a driving Jungkook. “Say, Namjoon, did you buy the marshmallows like I asked?”
“Hum? What?” He does his best to turn around in his seat and look at us, but you can only see half of his square jaw and one of his slim eyes as he stretches, short hair covered by a cap.
“The s’mores for tonight” Hoseok persists.
“Oh, crap. Sorry, totally forgot about it!” Hoseok sighs in disappointment, and Namjoon feels guilty about it. “Should I go back and buy some?”
“No, of course not. It’s okay, another time we’ll have some” Hoseok remains positive and smiles brightly again, much to the leader’s relief.
“Yeah, this won’t be the last time we go camping, surely” Jimin, sitting next to Hoseok across from you and Taehyung, comforts him although he didn’t seem to need it any longer. “If I remember next time, I’ll buy you some myself, hyung.”
“How’s it going, JK? Is it much longer?” Jin yells as he leans to try and see the driver from his seat across from Yoongi.
“What?” Jungkook asks back, turning his head towards us slightly but keeping his eyes on the road and hands steady on the wheel.
“How much longer?” Jin repeats.
“The last sign I saw said two miles to the camping ground” he answered.
“Okay, good job!” Jin compliments the youngest.
Soon enough you arrived at the camping site, some bathroom facilities nearby that your friend gave you the keys to use as well some wooden tables and benches. There were tall colorful trees surrounding the clearing where you would all be staying tonight, with a beautiful view to the peak of the mountain, high on the sky, so much further away.
The boys all jump out of the van even before Jungkook managed to shut the engine off, screaming and stretching their legs as they walk outside into the grass and fresh air. Jin and Namjoon both ask you for the keys to the bathroom since they had to go for a while, only for Taehyung to steal them out of your hands and go first, with a shouting angry Jin and an annoyed resigned Namjoon following after.
You help Yoongi and Hoseok taking out all the necessaries in terms of food preparing, while Jimin and Jungkook tried to set the two tents up. When the rest of the members joined, things picked up quickly and you, Jin and Yoongi got a station ready for cooking while the rest of them took care of everything else.
It was early afternoon when you all arrived, but the night was commencing by the time you all sat down to eat. The hours felt like minutes, not a moment passing by in boredom with these boys around. Be it Jin telling you his silly jokes as he sliced the ingredients next to you, Yoongi asking you to taste every dish he prepared multiple times to know if it was good, Namjoon trying his best to help only to look at you with guilty eyes as he holds in his hands a broken part of the chair he and Hoseok were assembling. Hobi laughing about it in disbelief with you. The three younger members all struggling to put up the tents at first, calling you to help them but you only end up stuck under the fabric of the tent when they let it fall on you.
Not a dull moment with them. And so, hours went by like minutes.
By the end of dinner, you are all sited in chairs around the fireplace – Namjoon siting on one that was missing an arm, since he broke it – all watching the starry sky in comfortable silent, interrupted occasionally by a remark or two.
“Thank you for bringing us out here, Y/N. You’re the sweetest” Jimin murmurs in a chair next to you, his hands moving from his lap to brush at the skin of your fluffy arm in a gentle manner.
“Oh, you are welcome, ChimChim. Anything for you guys” you assure him, patting his hand that stays placed on top of your wrist.
“I didn’t think we’d ever get to be out and about like this ever again, just us without cameras, without causing trouble” Yoongi confesses, with a bit of a slur and his accent coming out due to the few beers he had to drink.
“Yeah, me neither. It’s all thanks to you, sweetheart” Namjoon agrees, throwing you a dimpled smile that had you smiling right back at him.
“Guys, please, stop it” you say as you grow a bit embarrassed and uncomfortable.
“Ohh, I think she is blushing! Look at Y/N’s cute chubby cheeks going red!” Taehyung points out, a long index finger pointing playfully your way, a mischievous look in his eyes.
“Maybe the beer is getting to her head only now” Jin proposes in a chuckle, leaning forward to look at you with puffy lips tugging up.
“Shut up! It was only one beer, how lightweight to you think I am?” you try and defend yourself.
“Pretty lightweight if I recall from that night at the karaoke…” Jungkook chips in.
Knowing exactly the night he was referring to, and mortified that he would spill all the embarrassing bits to everyone, you end up taking your slipper and throwing at him. But he just catches it and giggles, throwing it back at you with measured strength.
“Wait, guys, shush!” Hoseok suddenly gasps from the opposite side from you, turning in his chair to look at the woods behind him. “Did… Did anyone hear that?”
“Is your mind already playing tricks on you, hyung?” Jimin questions.
“No, no, I heard something. Like a branch snapping” Hoseok persists, on edge. “A-Are there bears in this mountain or something?”
“You hear a branch cracking and your first thought goes immediately to bear?” Yoongi wonders, not sounding amused. “How about a rabbit, a fox or even a coyote before you think of something like a bear?”
Yoongi did have a point, and nobody heard anything except for Hoseok, but seeing how concern he was, you decide to appease him.
“I’ll call Taffy and ask her about what wildlife we are dealing with, okay, Hobi?”
“Thanks, Y/N, you’re a real angel. Unlike you guys!” He pouts at the rest of the group after throwing you an appreciative look of relief.
“Hey, Taffy, you there?” you say into the walkie-talkie you took out of your bag.
It takes her a minute or two, but she does respond.
“Hello there, gang. What’s up? Already bored?” she jokes.
“Nothing like that. Just wandering, what kind of animals are there in the mountain? We won’t be seeing any bears or anything like that, right?”
“Oh, we had some bears alright” she says through the static and Hoseok yelps while the rest of them widen their eyes at the walkie in your hands. You heart skips a bit in unexpected fright, but then she continues. “But since we are closed, there won’t be any large hairy gay men around any time soon, sorry to disappoint!”
A collective sigh of relief and a chuckle or two are heard around the fireplace and you pursue your lips as you close your eyes, imagining just smacking the back of her head if she was there with you for scaring you like that.
“Very funny, thanks for that” you sarcastically reply.
“No problem, anytime. But yeah, there’s only like foxes and wild cats to watch out for in here.”
“Good to know, we’ll be careful.”
“I see the smoke. You guys around a fireplace?”
“Yeah, we finished eating and we’re just relaxing before hitting the sack. Don’t worry, we’ll set it out before going to sleep” you promise her.
“Alright. Make sure the nine of you cuddle up for warmth, it will be cold tonight” she teases.
You know she is trying to tease and embarrass you, but you frown at what she says with a strange feeling instead. The boys don’t seem to pay it much attention apart from Namjoon and Jungkook, who look at you frowning as well.
“You mean eight. There is eight of us, me and the seven guys” you correct her.
The static goes silent for longer than it should and you realize that you have a bad feeling. Hoseok must have sensed it, cause his expression seems to mimic yours.
“She must have just counted wrong” Namjoon tries to calm you down.
“Hey” Taffy’s voice returns from the walkie and you don’t even realize you are now leaning in the chair, holding the device in front of you for everyone to hear it. “You guys all went down to the fountain to gather water, didn’t you?”
It was Jin who answered, a bit more serious now than he was before.
“Yeah, the buckets would be heavy to carry back to the camping site so we all went to help.”
“There are cameras every ten miles up the path and I saw you in one of them” she explains. “I’m looking at the recording right now and I count nine people walking by.”
A chill runs up your spine and your throat closes in on itself as you feel nauseated. This was not right; something was not right.
“Y/N, get everyone out. Come back to the station, there is someone else in the park!” your friend’s voice commands with assertiveness.
“OH MY GOD! I knew it, I knew it! There is A KILLER in here!” Hoseok starts to panic and, as much as you feel on the verge of terror yourself, you try to remain calm the best you can.
“Hobi, calm down” you say, running to him and placing your hands on his arms, rubbing them up and down through the sweater he had to try and keep him steady.
“Everyone on the van. NOW!” Namjoon orders and it takes less than thirty seconds for everyone to run inside the vehicle and leave all the stuff you had outside behind.
Instead of sitting, everyone seems to be looking out the windows with suspicion, into the dark distrustful woods, all the vehicle’s door locking as the sound of the motor roars to life. Only to stutter and crumble. Seven the heads suddenly snap to the driver’s seat, where Jungkook was again turning the key on the ignition. And the same happened.
“What the hell Jungkook! Get us out of here!” Jimin cries out, showcasing he was just as scared as Hoseok was looking right then.
“I’m trying! The van won’t start!” you can hear the guilt in his voice as he continues to try and try again to start the motor, but it just won’t work.
“We’re sitting prey! WE ARE SITTING PREY!” Hoseok is shaking profusely next to you and you hug him for support. His arms wrap around you as he leans his head against yours and breathes.
“No, we’re not. There was a ranger’s jeep on the side of that cabin next to the toilets, remember?” Namjoon starts, sounding a lot more confident than the clumsy man looked. “If we can get inside that cabin and find the keys, we can drive back to Taffy and wait for the police.”
“That’s IF we can even get to the cabin without encountering whoever is out there and IF we can get in and IF we can find the keys and IF the jeep even works!” Jin points out in a very matter of fact speedy speech that is difficult to keep up with. His nervousness was beginning to show. “How about we just lock ourselves here? Lock the van and wait for rescue? Y/N’s friend must have already called the police by now, we can wait here for them.”
“And be sitting ducks? Hell no!” Yoongi disagrees, biting at his nails before he speaks again. “I’m with Namjoon on this one. Whoever it’s out there, is just one person and there’s eight of us. And we don’t even know if they mean us any harm, they haven’t done anything yet.”
“Except messing with our van” Jungkook sighs irritated, giving up on starting the vehicle. “It worked perfectly before, someone must have messed with the engine.”
“Exactly, which means they wanted us here. They planned for us to stay here so, I say let’s get out there and try our luck with the jeep” Yoongi perseveres.
“You’re assuming they didn’t think we would wander off on our own, hyung! You don’t know! At least here we have four walls between us and whoever is out there, they wouldn’t get in” Jimin objects, sitting down and hugging his knees to his chest.
“Y-Yeah! S-so what if they shut the engine? We s-still have power so we can stay warm all night while they freeze outside!” Taehyung sides with Jimin, speaking for the first time in a while with evident fright in his voice but putting on a stoic front.
“What do you think, Y/N?” Jin asks you, coming to your side and taking your free hand into his while your other one was still around a terrified Hoseok’s back.
“I… I… I don’t know” you confess, completely undecisive. “Both ideas have their pros and cons. I don’t know which would be best, honestly.”
“Well, we do need your keys to try and get into the cabin. You still have the set of keys Taffy gave you, don’t you?” Namjoon asks.
“Oh, yeah, in my pocket” you say as you take them out. There were two other keys besides the ones for the toilets. “You think one of them is for the cabin?”
“Must be, right? It would make sense to have them all in one set if they’re next to each other.”
“I say let’s split up” Yoongi suddenly declares.
“What? That’s the worst idea, have you ever seen a horror movie?” Jungkook refutes. “We should all stick together, keep each other safe.”
“Well, we can’t seem to reach an agreement on what to do and we’re just wasting time. And this is not a horror movie, Jungkook, this is real life. We need to make our move and fast” Yoongi counters back.
“Let’s vote. Who wants to stay on the van?” Namjoon questions.
Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung immediately raise their hands.
“Okay, who wants to try and get to the jeep?”
Namjoon and Yoongi raise their hands. Both Jin, Jungkook and you stay neutral, unsure of what to pick. But Yoongi was right, you had to make your move sooner rather than later. So, with a deep breath, you go and stand between Namjoon and Yoongi, your decision made.
“I want to try and get out of here. Siting here, doing nothing, just creeps me out. I’ll go with them.”
“No, Y/N!” Jimin pouts with worry and stretches his arm to pull on yours, but you shake your head. Seeing his sad expression, you take his face in between your hands and peck at his forehead.
“If we get to the jeep, we’ll come back for you so we can all leave this place together. No one gets left behind” you promise them.
“I’ll go with them too” Jungkook decides, getting up from his driver’s seat and joining the group. A protective hand lands on your shoulder and you feel a little bit better.
“Then I’ll stay on the van. Keep an eye on them” Jin decides.
“Okay, that’s settled. Everyone, we’ll open the door, gather our things and we’re running” Namjoon says.
“I bet Yoongi is wishing he stayed in the van right now” Jin teases to which Yoongi just scrunches up his small nose. He wasn’t much of a fan of running and neither were you, but you both would have to for now.
“Stay safe, all of you” Taehyung wishes, coming in for a hug. You hug him back and try not to let negative thoughts go over your mind.
“I better hear the motor of the jeep coming soon, okay?” Hoseok asks, obviously nervous for you all.
“We’ll be right back” you promise again, rubbing his arm up and down before leaving.
Jimin holds your hand again, not wanting to let you go, but giving up once you move out of reach. Jin opens the door for all of you to step out and kisses the top of your head before you descend from the van.
You grab your backpack and it’s on.
All of you run towards the cabin, staying close to one another and away from the edges of the woods where there was no light. It was like any shadow could be someone, hiding, ready to strike. But there were four of you. People used to say there is strength in numbers. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to testing that.
The cabin was not particularly far, but in the context of the situation you were in, it felt like a continent away. The seven hundred feet distance took much too long for comfort, with the night sky darkening with each step. The running footsteps of the four of you were so loud you couldn’t tell if someone was following you. You just kept going, trying not to slow down the group with your poor running speed, especially with Jungkook staying right behind you.
When the cabin was just a few feet away, when you struggled to get the keys out of your pants’ pockets while you ran, that’s when you all heard it. A faint noise of glass being broken. And screams.
“Oh my God, oh my God…” you whisper with a trembling voice.
All of you stopped in your tracks as you look back at where the screams were coming from. From the van. Something happened in the van.
“Fuck! Jungkook, stay with Y/N and get to the cabin! Find that key and meet us by the van, we have to go back and help them” Namjoon orders in an almost shouting command, those dark and bushy eyebrows pulled so closely together in apprehension and fear that they almost meet at the bridge of his nose. He was trying to remain brave, but he was just as scared as you all were.
“N-No! I need to go to! We need to help them!” you refuse, already trying to walk back to the van, but Jungkook’s arms come around your shoulders and he keeps you pressed to him while you struggled.
“Focus, Y/N! Me and Yoongi are going back, you two go get the car. NOW!”
They were already running back as he speaks, decision already made despite your aching heart. The youngest members pulls you along with him to the cabin, even as your head remains looking back, heart at your throat and praying to any God out there that they were all fine. That everything would be all fine.
“C’mon, Y/N… I’m sorry but we need to get the car and fast.” Jungkook presses, one hand around your back keeping you running forward to the cabin.
“T-They are okay, r-right?” you force yourself to speak despite the lump on your throat. “They can’t b-be… be hurt…”
Your voice ends up dying in your mouth as he looks away with clenched jaws, not able to give you the response you wanted. Not having a response to give, probably being just as terrified as you were. All of his hyungs were back there in danger, relying on him and you to go and get them out. With that in mind, you force yourself to focus on your tasks again.
You try the first key on the lock and it doesn’t fit. Hands shaking, you try the second key. It goes in. You turn it on the lock and a nervous and relieving chuckle escapes you as the mechanism of the latch opens.
“Okay, okay!” you utter as you open the door and get in.
“Right, search for the key of the jeep! Quick!”
Letting go of him, you start searching the small cabin. Every drawer, cabinet, even under the rug gets searched. The plan was cemented around finding this key and getting to the jeep. The key had to be here, it just had to be. You went into the bathroom, even rummaging through the med kits in hopes it was somehow lost in there. It came to you then, that you still had the walkie talkie with you in the bag.
“Kook! I’ll try to ask Taffy on the radio again” you yell out to him, already taking the walkie out of your bag. “Taffy, can you hear me? Taffy, are you there?”
There’s only static. And silence.
The back of your neck breaks into goosebumps. It was silent. The cabin had gone absolutely dead silent. Not a single step, not a single breath, not a single movement was heard.
“Kook?” You step out of the bathroom slowly, wide restless eyes searching around the hallway and peering into the bedroom next to the restroom. Much to your terror, no one’s there. “… J-Jungkook?”
No one answers. You voice cracks as you call for him when walking into the dark living room, tears of distress gathering at your eyes that strained to see with only the moonlight coming in through the windows. The white light bounced off the furniture, the sofa and cabinets and the table. But no Jungkook. There was no one at the cabin. You were suddenly all alone.
“Oh no… oh no…” you whisper into the darkness, completely frozen as you don’t know what to do anymore.
Your body crumbles beneath you and you feel at a complete lost. So, you just do what you’ve been avoiding all this time: you break down and cry. It starts in small sobs but soon you are drenching your hands as they hide your face, crying your heart out.
“CODE RED! CODE RED!”
It all happens so fast you can barely keep up. Eight figures jump out from behind the large sofa on the other side of the room, a loud bang releases a bunch of confetti suddenly into the hair and someone crunches down in front of you with a hand on your shoulder. Through your tears, it takes you a while to realize it’s Jungkook.
“W-What?” is all you manage to say as you sob.
“Damn it, guys! I told you this would make her cry!” a voice you recognized too well says. It was Taffy, standing among the boys with a tray of food in her hand.
“Hey, Y/N, it’s okay, you’re okay” Jimin, who came to squat down next to Jungkook and took your hand into his, says in a calming sweet voice.
“But… the van and the screams…” you whisper back, your brain trying to make sense of the mess you found yourself in.
“Sorry, sunshine! We didn’t mean to scare you this much!” Hoseok apologizes. “Someone dropped a glass cup while we waited and it scared me, so I may have screamed a bit too loud.”
Hoseok shoots a look at Jimin, who whispers another ‘sorry’ to you. Your eyes wonder around all of them and you find yourself staring blankly at Jin, who just shrugs.
“Happy Halloween?” he expresses.
“We may have gone a bit overboard. But we were also trying to prove a point! We agreed to not get each other gifts anymore and you went ahead and planned all of this for us. So, we planned something for you too” Namjoon starts explaining.
“We definitely over did it. She’s crying, hyung!” Taehyung points out, with a guilty expression.
“Yeah, we’re not the best at coming up with a plan at the last minute like this. All of this was just supposed to spook her, not terrify Y/N like this. And there should have been a lot less running!” Yoongi complains.
That brings a chuckle from everyone except you, as you are still processing it all.
“S-So… So, this was all fake? To scare me for Halloween?” you sum up their explanation the best your jumbled brain could.
The guys and your friend all share a look, before answering you in unison.
“Yes.”
Slowly, you stand up, your bulky legs no longer shaking, eyes closed as you inhale deeply and exhale soundly. When you open your eyes again, there are eight pair of worried ones staring at you. And you only had one thing to say.
“I hate all of your stupid faces!”
It’s a lie and they all know it. To apologize and earn your forgiveness, you are suddenly pulled into a group hug by the boys while your friend turns on the lights of the cabin and prepares the fireplace.
You spend the rest of the Halloween night hearing all about their malicious plan, the preparations and outrageous ideas they came up with before settling on this one. You never thought you would be grateful to only have gone through this situation until you heard some of their ‘spookier’ concepts they had. And, although you wouldn’t admit it to them, this would be the Halloween you would tell everyone about until your old years to come. It would be the most memorable Halloween of your life.
➭ “To you, matters of the heart have always been simple. You’ve always lived by three rules: you don’t do emotions, you don’t do attachment, and you don’t do love. That is, until you meet the enigma that is Kim Namjoon- a man who shakes your entire world upside down.”
The clock face reads seven minutes past 2am. It is that time of the evening when everything seems amplified, bolder somehow.
The sounds of your footsteps against the wooden floors are louder. The shadows cast against the white walls are larger. Even the moonlight that seeps in through the windows is brighter. Everything is splashed in inky blue and the fading yellow of moonlight. There is a forgotten piles of books stacked on the kitchen counter, sitting beside a half eaten bag of cinnamon chips.
Everything is more noticeable at this time of night, nothing slips through the seams.
More fine tuned than anything else is the exhilaration that is humming through your veins, the excitement that ends with a persistent thud in your chest as Kim Namjoon steps towards you.
He gathers your face in his hands and his eyes search yours. He captures you in a prolonged moment that feels like everything else at this time of the evening – it feels surreal, slow, magnified. More intense, more brilliant, draped in velvet.
You are mesmerized, frozen and fluid all at once. Namjoon’s eyes squint slightly as he smiles at you, eyes tender and sweet. His palms are warm against your cheeks and your breath rushes out as he leans in closer.
He kisses you slowly. Carefully, like he is memorizing the feel of your lips against his.
Your breath catches in your throat, Namjoon pulls back a fraction. His eyes lingers on your lips, he swallows and his Adams apple bobs up and down. There is something fused there, written in the chaste brush of his lips against yours.
He kisses at your bottom lip delicately, pressing stamps of his mouth against your lips and then your cheek, before his mouth is by the base of your ear.
“I want you so damn bad.”
You feel like you were about to buckle, wrapped up entirely in sensation of his breath against your neck, his words whispered quietly into your ear like they were a secret. You tilt your head back, your lips parting, and a barely there whine escapes from your throat.
His lips find yours and you sigh against them, his tongue licking your bottom lip. His hands slowly trail down from where they were cupping your face to your shoulders. He kneads his fingers into the taut muscles there, you let out a choked moan – pleasure from the feeling of his fingers working rhythmic circles into his muscles, the seed of anticipation drawn out by his kiss, expressive and slow and with a hint of urgency.
Namjoon’s palms glide down your arms to rest on your hips and your teeth caught around his bottom lip, and he let out a soft groan.
Your kisses shudder to a stop, his forehead pressed against yours and the only sound that fills the space between your bodies is the sounds of your breaths for air, deep inhales and a pounding drumbeat that is in your heart and in your core and crawling over every inch of your skin.
You think to yourself, holy fucking shit this is it – this is what all those cheesy love songs are about, this is why people do stupid things all the time, this is it. The swell in your chest and the weight of his hands on your hips, and most of all the thrill of knowing that in just a few moments he is going to kiss you again.
As expected, Namjoon chases into you and his lips find yours. This time, harder. You feel a heat trickle inside of you, your hips tilt up into Namjoon’s as his tongue swirls around yours.
He moves, wrapping his arms tight around your lower waist, tugging you even closer into his proximity. His kisses are deep, tantalizingly slow teases of his tongue against yours as your bodies slot together.
You let out a gasp into his mouth as his palms expertly glide upwards to caress over your waist, your sides, right by the curves of your breasts.
You are not entirely accustomed to this – Namujoon’s back pressed firmly against the wall outside his bedroom door, his arms keeping your body flush against his, and most of all the torturously slow rhythm at which has started to rock his hips against yours.
His head dips down as he kisses you hard and it catches you by surprise, you squeeze your thighs as you hear the quiet moans that are beginning to escape from between his lips.
He is savouring this – you and him, your bodies pressed together like desperate teenagers as all you do is kiss, long and deep and slow.
Namjoon is still in an old, tattered tee and his flannel pyjama pants, you are clad in the dress that you had worn to the party. It’s the middle of the night, the air is humming with anticipation and it feels as if your entire body is throbbing with it too. You go up on your tiptoes, eager for more of his mouth, more of him and his palms settle on your ass, he grabs you in his palms and gives you an appreciative squeeze.
“Mm,” You murmur thickly, your face is tilted up to his. Your breath is going ragged, and you are painfully aware of the heady pulse that has started to take over your sensitive, wet pussy. Namjoon’s fingers skim at the hem of your dress, toying idly with the fabric.
You tremble as his fingertips brush against your thighs, you squeeze your legs together and whimper. You step away from his body and the warmth of his skin against yours, enough for him to pull the fabric off of you in one smooth motion.
You watch with widened eyes as Namjoon tugs his t-shitrt off, you swallow hard as you take in his frame – the lean build of his upper body, the muscles that flex in his arms as he tosses the top to the ground.
His chest heaves with each exerted breath, and his pyjama pants, hung low on his hips, reveal two small lines leading down to the tent in his pants.
You reach behind to your back, aware of how badly you have started to tremble.
Namjoon’s eyes are focused on you as you unclip your bra. Namjoon’s eyes widen, his tongue darts over his lip and he lets out a throaty groan, his hands loop around your hips and tug you back against him.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” He sighs in the shell of your ear before he reaches up, his fingers latching firmly around your chin. He peppers a prolonged kiss against your chin, and then another on your collarbone.
“Everything about you,” He murmurs against your neck, “God. I’m so fucking lucky.”
His hand laces into your hair and his fingers wind around the roots and gives a gentle tug. He begins to grind into you – the only thing separating your bodies is the lace of your underwear and his pyjama pants.
It fills you with a sticky heat, the presence of his hands on your waist and the rock of his hips into you. Your hands splay out against his chest as you whimper, they track upwards and loop around his neck.
You press your body harder against him in an attempt to feel more. You can feel his cock – hard and stiff in his pants, pushing against the damp lace between your legs.
“I want you so badly,” The words spill out of your mouth and you press harder against him, rutting harder into him, wanting his cock so badly that it almost feels like you can’t see straight, you can’t breathe straight.
“Fuck!” You cry out, the feeling of his bulge against your now aching clit giving you little relief, and you let out a whimper of desperation at the roar of lust that has started like a fire in your core.
“You get me so hard,” Namjoon moans, his words consume you. You kink your hips harder into him.
Namjoon rests his fingers on your inner thigh, so close to your slit that you suddenly wonder if you are going to explode right then and there.
You restlessly thrust your hips, clenching your pussy, wanting him with every fibre in your body. You press harder against him, his back flat against the wall, and your body melts into his.
Your entire body is begging for him, begging for his fingers to touch your wetness, your cunt which is sore with want.
Namjoon doesn’t oblige, instead he leans in, his breath hot against your ear.
“Feel good baby?” He murmurs, his voice is gruff and you feel a thread of sensations ease up your spine as he nibbles against your earlobe.
His tongue flicks over your pulse point and his fingers ghost over the hem of your underwear- right by your pussy. His fingers tease at the lace trim by the apex of your thigh and you suck in your breath sharply.
You are completely aching with it, his hands stroke at that sensitive stretch of skin… before just as quickly as his fingers had found their way there, mere centimetres away from your wetness, they move.
You let out a series of whines, desperate lamentations at the relief he isn’t giving you – his palm now tracking slow circles of your belly. His hand searches upwards until it meets the swell of your breasts.
It feels like your oxygen is cut off, you feel dizzy, the moan that is starting to gather at your lips becomes a hiss as his fingers begin to languidly stroke around your hard nipple.
All you can feel is the heavy thud between your legs, the blurred rush of desperate filthy thoughts on repeat in your head. Namjoon grazes your erect nipple with two of his fingertips and the relief it grants you has you buckling under his touch, your fingers clinging at his strong shoulders.
Your eyes dart downwards, the thin fabric of his pyjama bottoms reveal the tent in his pants and you can feel his hard cock pressed against your thigh. Namjoon’s fingers latch around your nipple, teasing you in drawn out strokes.
His hand moves to your other breast, he cups at it and then pinches your nipple, you cry out.
You feel like you are about to reach climax just form him touching you like this – so tense and so wound up that you have to fight the urge to reach down between your legs with your fingers and touch yourself.
You are desperate – soaked through your ruined underwear, crammed full with an itching intensity and arousal like nothing you had ever felt before.
Namjoon laces his fingers through yours and glances to the right, the direction of his bedroom. You nod, a silent answer to an unspoken question. You immediately straighten, your legs shaky with burning want as you follow him into his bedroom.
Namjoon closes the bedroom door behind him.
His bedroom is dark – he flicks on his reading lamp and the room is elapsed in a dim, earthy glow. Your eyes tick over his room – landing on the haphazard piles of books and fresh laundry, you inhale the scent of him that lingers in the air.
You turn and you gaze at him. Namjoon, who is stripping off his pyjama pants, standing there in black boxers that cling to his hard cock. Your throat is dry, your head hammering with thoughts that are incoherent and dirty and painted a deep crimson red.
Namjoon is staring at you with an expression on his face that has your heart jackhammering in your chest, his eyes lidded and full of lust and admiration and pure, unadulterated want.
He steps towards you and your lips meet his in a desperate, hungry kiss.
You fall onto his bed, entwined tightly. As your back lands on his soft mattress, Namjoon hovers above you, careful not to crush you with his weight, but enough for you to feel the presence of his body on top of yours.
“Namjoon,” You groan out your name and it sounds like you are begging, you squeeze your eyes shut and fragmented colours burst beneath your lids. You press your thighs together and heat licks at your core before you open your eyes.
“I want you.” The words ease out of your lips and curl around your tongue. Namjoon’s eyes widen and he swallows, he stares at you – a disarming gaze that makes you feel warm and prickly, he breathes in hard as if you are the most gorgeous thing in the world and he needs a moment to gather himself.
Your hand reaches up between your bodies and your hand grazes against hid cock. Namjoon immediately moans, and you can hear arousal in the honeyed strain of his voice.
You pull down clumsily at the black fabric of his underwear, urgent and rushed, and Namjoon takes over, grasping at the waistband of his underwear and tugging down until his bare cock stands up between your bodies, straight and thick.
Your mouth waters and the throb between your legs gets even louder. The pillows are soft beneath your head, your eyes find his and your breath is trapped in your throat as his fingers tug down at your underwear and toss them onto the ground.
Anticipation clenches inside of you as you part your legs, feeling that senseless thud between your legs grow, snowballing and heightening and making your nerves curl at the edges. You are wet, so damn wet that it’s all you can think about, the air is cool against your sensitive slit as your hands link around the back of his neck.
Namjoon catches your eyes, you watch as he bites his lip, reaching up so that his fingers lock firmly around your wrists. He stares at you, he drinks you in – his eyes soften a touch, his stare is intense and affectionate and urgent.
“I am so crazy about you, you know that?” He says simply. Time slows, his fingers tighten around your wrists, his eyes flickers.
“Namjoon…” Your voice trembles and you swallow. “Fuck, please, fuck me.”
He lets out a barely audible sound at your words, something in between a moan and a grunt as he shifts his body until his cock is there, at your entrance.
It feels as if your mind is short circuiting- frazzled bursts of electricity from the feeling of Namjoon’s cock right there at your wet entrance. You can feel the presence of him- teasing you, and you let out a strangled sound.
“Namjoon…” The word falls out of your mouth, akin to a plea. You feel hot all over, your lashes fluttering as you look up at Namjoon through heavy lids and tinged pink cheeks.
“Please baby.”
And just like that, Namjoon slides inside of you.
You let out a choked moan, Namjoon’s eyes flicker down to your face, his eyes dilating and his jaw clenching as he stretches out your walls, pushing inside of you until his entire length is inside.
“You feel so good,” You whimper out breathlessly and Namjoon chases your words with a kiss, sealing his lips on yours and moaning into your mouth in agreement.
You exhale shakily, absorbing the feeling of his full thick length inside of you. You let out a sigh, a moan trickles out of your lips, and then Namjoon begins to rock into you.
He starts slow, thrusting into you at a pace that begins languidly – each thrust leaving behind a raging want. He builds, his pace quickens, he fucks into you harder, stronger, deeper. You angle up into his cock, the only thing you can do when Namjoon has your arms pinned above your head as he fucks you.
“Fuck,” Namjoon mutters, he lets go of where his fingers are tightened around your wrists and his thumb caresses your lower lip. You kiss his thumb and then his fingers, you take one of his long fingers into your mouth and suck it clean.
“Jesus Christ…” Namjoon mutters, his eyes rolling slightly as he thrusts into you a bit harder.
Your hands, now free, roam down the canvas of Namjoon’s shoulders down to his chest. Your touch glides over his ribs, before you settle on his back.
Namjoon has built to an intensity that has your body starting to shake, you shudder in pleasure with each thrust of his cock inside of you.
It’s like Namjoon is reading your mind, he teases you with each push of his cock against your walls – fucking you hard and fast and swift, before he stops just as you feel like you are close.
His fingers grip at your waist and your face and your hair, his mouth kisses you over every inch of your exposed skin. He pushes in his cock slowly and makes sure you feel every ridge of his cock inside of you, leaving you writhing under his body as he teases filthy mewls out of your lips.
You are so wet that you can feel it, slick between your legs, the throb between your legs barely acquiesced, rather, heightening with each of Namjoon’s ministrations.
“Feel good baby?” Namjoon asks, his voice is husky in your ear and all you do is nod fervently, he mouths at your neck and his tongue swirls against your collarbones, his teeth nibble at your earlobe.
Your eyes are watery, your breath coming out in ragged gasps of air. His arm wraps around your waist, his hand cupping your breast as he moves. In one swift movement, he flip your body so that you are lying on your side.
You gasp aloud when Namjoon pulls out of you, your body raw with arousal, as Namjoon moves. His body is soon crooked behind yours, arm is linked around your neck, his palm down your chest and massaging your breasts, his other hand on your hip.
You could feel his fingers digging into you, they are possessive. You can feel the tip of his cock, his entire length slickened wet from you. Then he pushes himself inside of you yet again.
You let out a choked cry at the feeling of him inside of you, you stutter your ass against him.
At this angle, you can feel everything – the warmth of his chest which is broad and strong against your back.
His lips, brushing against your ear and the dip of his voice muttering dirty hushed words as he thrusts into you.
His fingers, digging into the flesh of your thigh and every now and then moving to brush along your ass.
Most of all however, is the angle. The angle of which Namjoon’s hard cock is entering you, the arch of his hips as he slams into you with rhythmic thrusts.
With each slap of his skin against yours, you arched into him, you wanted more, you invited a deeper fuck, you begged for it.
“You feel amazing,” Namjoon moans, “And you sound amazing, every single noise that comes out of you makes me lose my god damn mind…” Namjoon’s voice is overflowing with lust and throaty with want, he accentuates his words with a particularly intense thrust- one that has cries spilling from your throat and a moan spilling from Namjoon’s.
“See, that sound, right there… God,” He mutters, and you moan again, enjoying the praise, your body curling with pleasure as he thrusts into you again.
“Namjoon, I’m so close …” You whimper out his name and you could feel it in the stutter of his hips, the drawn out swear words that he mutters, the rumble of his chest… that he is as close as you are.
His hand - which is wrapped around your hip so hard that you wouldn’t be surprised to see a faint bruise there when he’s done – clutches your thigh.
He lifts your leg, supporting it in his hand as he effectively spreads out your pussy lips. He pushes into you and the new angle and deepness has you you suppressing a wail. You find yourself trying to stifle it, the loudness, the urgency as Namjoon’s fingers grip harder around your thigh and his thrusts pick up pace.
He swells his hips upward as he finishes each thrust with a grind of his length right there in that spot, thespot. You feel like you are teetering off of the edge, full of white hot pleasure. Your entire body is coiled and tense and you let out a sound that is almost like a scream, it rips out of you between pressed lips.
“Be as loud for me as you want, baby.” He groans against your ear. “You sound so good…” He shifts his hips just a fraction and you felt your breath suck in. His voice is deep and scratchy and you can feel his breath on your neck, the sweat on his body against yours. You quiver at the feeling of it, his hand still laced firmly around your leg, him pumping himself into you.
Your pussy feels so full of him and just when you think you aren’t going to be able to handle any more, his hand works down from where it was wrapped around your breast to meet your sore clit.
He presses two fingertips hard against your clit, enough to make you gasp.
The sensation is sharp and intense and while he keeps pumping into you, harder, faster, deeper, so full and intense and amazing as he continues to hit your spot…his touch on your clit is slow and deliberate.
Your breath comes out of you in shuddering gasps, your body is clutched in Namjoon’s hands. You are wrapped up entirely in the feeling of him.
Namjoon pulls his fingers out of your clit and his hand rests carefully your chest, his fingers wrap lightly around the base of your neck. The weight of his touch right there, his fingers along your pulsepoint, has your body stiffening.
A dark, heavy spill of lust courses through you. You hear Namjoon moaning, soft barely there hums of want. You are pliant in his touch, writhing under him, as your body clenches.
You gasp out. Namjoon, attuned to your every whimper, picks up the pace. He adjusts his hips, slamming into you. You can’t focus on anything but the feeling of him, your teeth catching on your kiss swollen lips, your body stiff and desperate as you hear Namjoon’s voice in your ear, he is moaning, calling you baby, his baby, voice thickened and deep and dark.
It crescends over you. Waves of pleasure and relief so intense that your thighs clench and you cling onto Namjoon’s arms for support. He immediately presses his lips against your neck and murmurs into your skin.
Everything goes silent, goes numb, it fades as all you can focus on is the prickling bliss that is taking over your body.
It’s almost intolerable how good it feels, your back arches and you feel electric waves of pleasure everywhere. You are moaning, you are only faintly aware of the obscene sounds from your lips.
You can tell by the clutch of Namjoon’s hands around your waist that your erotic sounds of pleasure are turning him on more. But all you can focus on with a laser-sharp focus is this.
The orgasm, the high, the release that has you hot and cold, dizzy and focused, a delicious and intense release that leaves in its wake nothing but bliss and the chanting of Namjoon’s name.
Your orgasm begins to slow, beads of pleasure dripping down your skin. You are still tight with pleasure as you feel Namjoon’s thrusts start to grow uneven.
He grips at you and lets out a wanton moan of his own. You crane your head, pulling away from him so that your ass is pressed harder against his cock.
He moans as you tilt your head and your eyes meet his. His hair is pushed off his forehead, his eyes dilated in lust, his lips full and glossy. The sight is like no other and as his eyes meet yours, he climaxes- his face rippling in pleasure as the tiny pinch of his brows dissipates, his lips parted as the sounds of his orgasm fill the space between you.
Namjoon folds, crooking over your body, and he holds you to his chest. You are both fucked out of your minds. A buzzy thrill has knotted in your throat, you can almost hear slowing pulse of your heart, completely tangled up in the fuzzy warmth that has enveloped your body.
Namjoon holds you even closer to him and lets out an outdrawn sigh of pleasure. You shiver at the sound of it, a smile flits across your face as he carefully pulls out of you.
You both let out a small gasp- you are full of his cum, full to the God damn brim.
“That was…” Namjoon murmurs, his voice trails off and he ends his sentence by pressing a kiss to your shoulder blade.
For a moment the only sound is the synchronized hum of your heavy breaths.
They slow, evening out like creases being pressed out of a linen shirt. You lift your head and roll over onto your side, your cheek pressed tightly against his pillow.
Namjoon has his eyes closed, lying flat on his back. He has the barest hint of a smile on his lips and you swallow hard. That same swell of something unfamiliar, thick with sweetness rises in your chest.
Namjoon’s face is utterly serene, and the only indication that is mind is going a thousand miles per minute is the flicker of his eyes beneath closed lids. You smile, gazing at him – at the faintest smattering of freckles over his nose, pecks of affection from the sun from the summer heat. At the two small indentations on the bridge of his nose from his glasses.
He senses your stare, his eyes open and he cranes his head. He smiles at you – a smile that has his eyes creasing in the corners, two dimples peeking out in his cheeks.
He reaches out and brushes your cheekbone with two crooked fingers.
You have so many things that you want to say. It feels surreal to be here – lying in his bed, your bodies close but not touching, to see the slope of his bare skin and his hair falling in his eyes.
You had never expected to be here – not just in his bed naked, but here with him, the most exposed and vulnerable you had ever been with anyone.
You think back to how you had felt in the past.
Lying opposite a body that was always just a body, your chest starting to ache in a funny way that you always squashed down, the inklings of doubt and self-hate seeping in before you dragged yourself upwards, scooped your hair up into a bun, and began to search for your clothes. That lump in your throat as you searched for your discarded underwear on all fours, whispering to yourself that everything was fine.
There had been so many shitty nights, so many mediocre nights, so many good nights even – all nights knotted together with you feeling like a stranger in somebody else’s presence, and the uncomfortable itch to get up and return to a comfortable space.
That space had always been your bed, in your home, you lying on your back staring at the ceiling with that funny lump in your throat.
But not anymore. Now, this, here, it felt comfortable. And you don’t have any whispers of wanting to leave, no ache tugging in your chest.
You are lying there trying to figure out how exactly to put all of that into words when Namjoon clears his throat a little, cards fingers through his hair and tugs at the ends.
“How do you feel?” His eyes are on you, scanning you.
“Amazing.”
“Same.” He grins, and you laugh. He laughs too. The two of you just laugh, bodies so close. And it’s not like you’re laughing over anything in particular, you’re just happy.
“What time is it?” He sighs, his hand sneaks around your waist and he pulls you into his arms. You nestle against his shoulder, he presses a kiss absently to the top of your head.
“Dunno,” You mumble, “Late. 3am, I reckon.”
“This time of the night is so weird. Like… it’s that time when it’s not quite night but not quite day. If turning points were set at a time, they would be 3am. It feels significant somehow, right?” Namjoon says absently.
You let out a soft laugh.
“That’s so deep.”
“Well it is 3am after all. If there’s any time to get deep it’s now, right?”
Namjoon smiles wryly at you, and you hesitate.
“Be honest.” You begin. You begin to form the thought that had been dwelling on your mind for months into words.
“Why did you talk to me at the party all those months ago? Did you know what people said about me? Did you just want sex?”
Namjoon stares at you.
“Be honest, I can take it, really.” You stammer out.
“I wanted you but I didn’t just want you for one thing. Or for just sex… I don’t know, I can’t explain it. I just wanted to get to know you. I hadn’t met someone like you before.”
“Really?” You say softly.
“Really. And… I hadn’t heard any of whatever people were saying about you before that first night.” He sighs. “But I’ll be honest. After I met you, I mentioned it to Jin. And he told me some of the stuff he’d heard.”
“Oh.” Your voice quietens. “You didn’t… care?”
“I didn’t care,” Namjoon continued. “And I’m being 100% honest with you when I say that. There’s nothing wrong with being different to what college assholes or even I dunno, society I guess, expects. Plus, everyone has their own shit going on, you know? I’m not going to judge someone or write them off before I get to know them. And I don’t know… I had this feeling about you that I couldn’t shake.”
You hum softly. “Yeah. I just…” You let out a sigh and shrug, your shoulders dropping up and down heavily. “I feel… I felt… like a bit of a fuck up, you know? I like sex, I always have, and having sex makes me feel really good. At least it used to. Then I don’t know. It was like the more I was open about wanting it the more I got shit hung on me. And I know I shouldn’t care about what people say. But being told that something that makes you who you are is wrong or bad or fucked… it’s a really awful feeling.” Your voice cracks a little. “I don’t know who I am half the time and I want to know who I am, but I’m scared of finding out too. It feels like every time I’ve tried to be myself in the past it backfires in my face. I don’t know, I want to be strong and independent but it’s really fucking hard and sometimes I really, really don’t like myself.”
Your voice cracks a little. “Sorry,” You mumble. Your voice is hoarse. “Sorry. That probably makes no sense I’m-”
“Hey,” Namjoon says. “Don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize for feeling a way, alright?” His voice is fierce and he lets out a soft sound, something akin to a sigh.
“I care about you so much,” His voice lowers, thickens. “You’re so special, you know that? You deserve the world.” You crane your neck to look at him, he gives you a smile, a flicker in his eyes, a hint of dimples in his cheeks before his face sobers. “You - you make me really fucking happy. And that’s not from you trying to be anything or do anything it’s just… you. You make me happy. Just you being you, okay? What you feel, what you think, what you are… All of you. You. Your past, who you are today, who you will be tomorrow… you make me happy. Really happy. That’s what I’m trying to say.” He sighs and then pulls you back into his arms and presses a kiss into your hair, he mumbles something you can’t quite hear.
“Namjoon…” Your ovoice is tiny. “I…” You swallow and you clutch onto him a little bit tighter. You have so many words swirling in your head and you can’t pick one out clearly. You wish so badly that you could.
“I wish we met earlier.” You say instead.
“Mmhm. Me too.” Namjoon murmurs into your hair, his fingers tracing circles in between your shoulders.
“Maybe though… we met at exactly the right time.” He says softly.
Your body is relaxed, and you listen as Namjoon’s breathing slows.
His chest rises and falls with each breath, his arms tucking you into his chest. He lets out a soft snore – you stifle a giggle under your breath – and he mumbles in his sleep, absently tugging you in even closer to his body.
You stare into the darkness of his bedroom. It is unfamiliar, the feeling that is unfurling in your chest.
It’s a warmth and a hope and a happiness that didn’t have strings attached or conditions applied, it is just there.
You are beginning to drift off, your mind slowly carding through all the things Namjoon had said to you. The expression in his eyes that is always so fond, so affectionate, so warm.
It will go away surely, you tell yourself, trying to settle the swell in your chest, the tremble in your fingertips. This is just the honeymoon phase, this is just the post sex glow, it won’t last. I’m right in this. I know I am.
You lace your fingers with Namjoon’s and as your eyes close, you find yourself hoping against all belief that you are wrong.
You wait for things to get worse, you wait for it to pass.
But it doesn’t.
The feeling keeps coming to you in small snippets as you spend more and more time with the tall boy who looked down when he laughed.
There was the first time you were walking across campus together and you said something in an offhand way and Namjoon laughed and reached across, casually grabbing your hand.
You had paused, eyes darting around and wondering if there was anyone around you. Your eyes had flickered back to Namjoon to see him chattering rapidly with the unparalleled enthusiasm that was Namjoon’s signature, strolling along with your hand in his like it didn’t belong anywhere else.
You stopped looking around when he held your hand after that, or when he didn’t. You stopped looking around and looked ahead. You found yourself relaxing, and you realized that you had stopped caring so much about what people around you thought.
There was the time you and Namjoon had been studying for an upcoming exam, standing in line at a coffee shop and waiting for your coffees to come out. Namjoon was frowning at his phone and complaining about his smashed screen. He was doing what he always did when he ranted (which in itself was pretty rare because he was usually so relaxed and easygoing) – his voice pitched upwards and got faster and faster until it ended with him hanging his head and laughing at himself. You had your arms looped around his waist and your chin on his shoulder, listening to him sympathetically. The barista had called out his name for the coffees and passed yours to him as well with a, ‘Here’s your girlfriend’s coffee.’
When Namjoon returned to you, still muttering about ‘Apple and their bloody glass screens it’s a fucking conspiracy and I refuse to give them any more money!’ you had accepted the coffee in your hands. You were quiet, he picked up on it as you walked out of the coffee shop.
“You okay?”
“He called me your girlfriend. The coffee guy, that is.” You answered.
“Oh,” Namjoon said, he blinked a few times. He hummed thoughtfully, taking a sip from his coffee. “I guess he did. I didn’t even notice.” He seemed unfazed, his eyes flicked up to meet yours. They were calm, still, but you saw the tiniest of questions in his eyes.
“Uh huh.” You replied. You reached over and nodded at his phone. “So. Are you going to get this repaired? Because all that broken glass is a hazard for you, Joon.”
Namjoon smiled at you, the slightest flush on his cheeks before he nodded, talking enthusiastically, something about ‘In theory I am against Apple but their products are just so pretty…’ and you took a sip of your coffee and tasted hazelnuts on your tongue, and from that moment on you referred to Namjoon as your boyfriend and he referred to you as his girlfriend and things had shifted seamlessly and naturally, as if nothing had ever really changed at all.
That being said – it wasn’t as if your relationship with Namjoon was perfect because the more time you spent with him, you realized he was flawed.
Definitely flawed. He could be stubborn, annoyingly so, and he was also sometimes frustratingly obtuse.
You and Namjoon had arguments, two two of you fired up and irritated, you shooting daggers at him with arms crossed and eyes narrowed, Namjoon letting out long sighs and shaking his head. Your hisses of ‘you are a real patronizing asshole Kim Namjoon’ and Namjoon just responding by letting out one of those sighs. Those sighs just adding to your annoyance tenfold because you were irritated and you wanted to fight and the one time Namjoon wasn’t being a chatterbox was now, God damn it.
Your arguments were always diffused though, Namjoon reaching out and saying something unrelated that somehow had all of your anger simmering down to a still, waiting until hours later when a soft ‘I’m sorry’ was whispered into your ear. You too, found yourself stopping and thinking, trying, being the one to loop your arms around his waist and apologize, to swallow your pride, Namjoon wrapping his arms around your waist and mumbling ‘S’all good.”
You had always thought arguments and fights made couples hate each other, that they inevitably filled both people up with resentment but with Namjoon it was the opposite - it felt like the more time that you spent together whether it was good or bad, and that with each ridiculous argument and each serious fight, the more fucking fond you got.
There were the times when the sex just wasn’t mindblowing – late nights when you were tired and not feeling it, your chest tight and uncertain. Namjoon read into that almost immediately each time, and he always stopped, his body stilling, his intent shifting as he held you close to him instead and planted kisses on your cheeks, or made an excuse and gave you space.
He knew exactly what you wanted most of the time- even when what you wanted right then in that moment wasn’t him, but yourself.
And then there was the good sex. Nights with nails digging into skin, Namjoon’s voice possessive and low and throaty in your ear, him mouthing at your thighs and your neck.
There was the night you and Namjoon referred to as That Night.
The Night was when you had been teetering on the verge of illness, a scratch in your throat that persisted and wouldn’t leave. Namjoon had visited your place, a beanie pulled low over his hair and glasses perched on his nose, an infectious smile spreading over his face when you opened the door for him wrapped up in blankets.
He had made you a cup of tea with a nose wrinkled in concentration (You had watched as he laid a palm absently on the kettle only to rip it away with a muffled yelp of pain, wincing and whirling around only to knock your looseleaf tea tin on the ground. It was so utterly Namjoon and for some reason the sight of the boy with the beanie and fluffy hair bent down scooping tea into his palm had something warm and soft spreading through your whole body.)
He was sitting opposite you, you were watching a movie, you were taking careful sips of your tea. He had one palm resting on your shins, he was drumming a pattern into them every now and then. It was nothing special, you weren’t doing anything particular, until you glanced up to see him staring at you intently.
“What?” You had laughed, reaching out to slap his arm, and Namjoon just smiled, shrugging.
“Nothing,” He said, but it didn’t sound like a ‘nothing’, it sounded like a, ‘Everything’, and even though you were sitting on your couch in a ratty hoodie with no make up and your hair dragged up in a bun, you had never felt more beautiful.
You were sick and you protested feebly as he kissed you, claiming he didn’t care about getting sick because it was worth it, and you had the best sex of your life on the couch- you on your stomach and him on top of you, his hands supporting you as he fucked into you long and hard and deep until you came around his cock, and then again when he sat up and you sat on his cock and rode him until you were screaming from the orgasm that clenched around every single cell in your body.
(He got sick afterwards and the two of you were wrapped up in blankets on separate sides of the couch, quietly tapping away on your own laptops, your feet propped up on his lap, his hand resting thoughtlessly on your calf as you browsed Youtube and he browsed Reddit.)
Months passed, and the excitement and exhilaration of Namjoon slowly started to fade – just like you had been so originally terrified of. But in it’s place, something stronger pulled out from underneath. Something better. Something more tangible, something that lay within the glances Namjoon gave you when he thought you weren’t noticing, something in the long conversations you and Namjoon had, something fused in those few seconds when you were both annoyed and angry and you both just stopped, you stepped towards one another with softening frayed edges and apologies.
It was funny that you could recognize something when it was so new to you. It was funny that your body knew it before you did. And it was funny that it came to you simply and suddenly, without a lot of fuss, it just popped in your head one day when you were sitting with Namjoon and your slowly growing circle of friends.
Namjoon was eating a piece of pizza (with pineapples on it, the nerve!) and his cheeks were bulging with pizza and he was talking with a full mouth (arguing with his classmate Min Yoongi about which Marukami novel was the best, Namjoon passionately defending Norwegian Wood, Yoongi disdainfully saying ‘IQ84’ and Seokjin side eyeing them both and saying loudly ‘Marukami is overrated you dumb fucks and this conversation is boring as hell’). It was any other day really and Namjoon had pizza crumbs on his face and a pizza crust in his hands and it hit you like a lightning bolt right then and there that you were completely head over heels in love with Namjoon.
After that it felt like a floodgate had been unleashed- you had I love you on the tip of your tongue after everything. Namjoon asked you to read over his philosophy essay? Sure, I love you. Namjoon went down on you for an hour straight? I am so freaking in love with you. Namjoon asked if you wanted to catch a movie with him after class? Yes and I love you.
It wasn’t dramatic, it wasn’t sudden, or overwhelming – it just was there, like it always had been, like it always would be.
It is the end of semester and that means one thing – party. It is one of your college cohort’s signature parties that everyone buzzed about for the weeks leading up to it, knowing it would be a messy night. An empty house with parents gone for the weekend, a raided liquour cabinet, cigarette butts discarded in neatly clipped green grass, couplets of people exchanging messy kisses and rushing into closets and laundry rooms and bathrooms.
You and Namjoon are at the party together, his arm draped around your shoulders as you stand in a small huddle with your friends.
You are an eclectic bunch- Namjoon, his housemate Seokjin, friendly and boisterous Jung Hoseok who you had befriended in an Economics class, Min Yoongi (their evolving friendship had gone something as follows: Week one of philosophy class, and Namjoon was ranting about ‘this annoying guy who doesn’t ever speak. Plus, he likes Nietzsche’, and then in week three, ‘the new guy is alright actually. I guess.’ to them now, constantly bickering like an old married couple), Yoongi’s girlfriend who was the only person on Earth who made Yoongi beam, she was sharp and quick and so much fun, and two girls who you had met in this semester’s design class, they were sweet and friendly and it had been hard at first to open up to them and to try, but you were so happy you did.
As the night ticks on, you realize this is the most fun you had ever had at a party – beer in hand and buzzing in your veins, sitting around on couches in a circle with a group of friends, As you lean your head affectionately on Namjoon’s shoulder it hits you that you are actually kind of happy just doing this, just being here, and that a hell of a lot has changed in less than a year.
You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, picking you way neatly through the crowd of college students.
When you are finished, you wash your hands, catching sight of your reflection. Your cheeks were flushed, your hair a little messy, a smile on your face. You look happy, you like it – and you smile at your reflection before you wipe your hands on your jeans and leave the bathroom.
You almost collide into somebody on your way out, you jerk backwards. The guy you bumped into straightens, his eyes widening in recognition before his lips settle into a smirk.
“Hey Y/N.” It’s Kim Taehyung, eyebrows raised as he leans against the wall.
“How are you?”
You smile tersely. “Yeah just fine thanks.”
Taehyung’s grin widens. He nods to the bathroom. “Wanna join me in there?”
Your nose wrinkles delicately.
“No, I don’t.”
“You sure?” Taehyung grins at you and you feel that twist in your stomach. “Maybe I can change your mind.” He takes a step towards you and something in your chest flares.
“Does it make you feel good or something, talking to me like?” You said finally, steadily. “Because you know, it makes me feel pretty shitty. I’m guessing you don’t talk to your friends like that so what makes you think you can talk to me like that?”
Taehyung looks shell shocked for a second. You suppose he was expecting something else from you – a withering response, a roll of the eyes, fire fought with fire. Or a different reaction, you, face and self confidence crumpling.
His face falters, and you see a flash of what looks like doubt and guilt paint his features.
You don’t wait to see what he is going to say next. Instead, you turn and walk down the stairs. You are trembling, you make your way downstairs and walk straight to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water.
Once the glass is full, you sip at it slowly. The tightness in your chest slowly dissolves, you set the glass down, it sits on the counter– it is still half full – and you leave it behind.
You make your way back through the crowd, spotting your friends. The group had started to split off, Yoongi and his girlfriend long gone, Hoseok sitting on the floor nearby against a wall, eyes closed as he bobs his head drunkenly to the music, Seokjin and the other girls drunkenly taking selfies.
You slip by Namjoon’s side, his arms wind around your waist and he rested his chin on your head.
“It’s nearly 3am,” You murmur softly. “Turning point time.” You add lightly, Namjoon chuckles softly and gives you a small squeeze, you lean into his touch.
“You wanna head off?” He whisper. You nodded, he laces his fingers through yours.
“Absolutely.”
You and Namjoon walk slowly down the street. You are talking softly, it’s too late to talk at a full volume, so you communicate in hushed words and pieces of conversation. Namjoon is contemplative tonight- you can see it in the slight furrow of his brow and the set of his lips as he walks.
As you turn the corner and enter your street, right by your house, you laugh.
“Déjà vu,” You say lightly, turning to meet Namjoon’s gaze.
He smiles at you and nods. “Tell me about it.”
You walk up to your neighbour’s brick wall, Namjoon follows you, watching you as you hop up so that you are sitting on it, your legs swinging lazily.
“Best wall in the world,” He says seriously, “Great Wall of China ain’t got a thing on this wall.”
You giggle. “Thank you wall.” You say lightly and Namjoon nods.
“Thank you wall.” He directs his words to the wall and you tilt your head back and laugh.
Namjoon walks up to you, in between your legs. You can see the moonlight dancing off of his face, the way his hair falls in his eyes before he shakes his head, the smile on his lips.
It is like déjà vu- you can still remember it faintly, about a year ago. You sitting on this exact brick wall with a guard up and a defiant flash in your eyes, and this same man between your legs, staring up at you with a calm, confident gaze that was disarming and exciting and new and everything, all at once.
The look in his eyes is different tonight, it’s softer, sweeter… and you suppose that the look in your eyes is different tonight too.
He leans in, closing the space between the two of you with a kiss.
His fingers brush at a tendril of your hair, tucking it behind your ear. He cups your face tenderly, his head tilts slightly to one side as he stares at you.
You feel everything inside of you crumble away. Everything is amplified at this time of the night- most of all, this feeling.
“I love you.” Namjoon says.
He says the words slowly. Unwaveringly. He pronounces each word carefully. He blinks when the words are out, three rapid blinks, accompanied with the tiniest caress of his thumb against your cheek.
Your heart swells even more in your chest and you smile. You reach out, cupping his face in your hands, your thumbs running over those dimples.
He smiled back, dimples flashing, eyes warm and as sweet as honeycomb.
“I love you too.”
amynote: I loved writing this series so much. I’m a bit sad that this is the end… but I am really looking forward to writing all my knj wips! thank you for reading Passionfruit, I am sending you all a lil forehead kiss♡
Warnings: depressing themes; thrilling themes; mentions of death; intense makeout scene?; Felix being a cockblock;
Summary:Curious as to how your village came to be and having a thirst for knowledge, you venture into the Forgotten Forest in hopes of discovering the truth of your roots. But it seems you have bitten off more than you can chew.
WC:3.7k
Note: Back at it again with Namjoon fluff. I’m just a simp for this man, I’m not sorry. But you get to know more about him this time around! And more~
Tag List: Open- DM me if you want to be added! If I forgot you/your @ isn’t working, please let me know so I can try to fix it <3
The new story’s poll last day is tomorrow! Vote and see which story of Asterios will be told next! Click here!
Your breath quickened as you looked up, eyes meeting those of a dark brown. They were void of all emotion and stared back into your terrified ones. Long fingers slide on either side of your face, holding your head steady. His face twisted into a smile that held sharp teeth as he watched tears glisten in your eyes. You could feel the pressure of his hand, watching his smile grow wider, wilder. Your breath hitched as his hands jerked violently to the side-
Cold, clammy, and shaking you shot up from the bed, breathing fast and hard as you looked around wildly. The large room, the one where you last remember falling asleep… You fell asleep here. You were no longer on the mountain with those two creatures. You had barely made it out alive…
An arm tightened around your waist, securing you closer to a solid surface of heat. It chased away the chill from the nightmare and settled your shaking bones.
“Y/n,” Namjoon’s voice came from your side. Bringing you closer he tucked your head into his neck. “You’re here. You’re okay.”
His words were soft, soothing to your ears and helped calm your racing heart. Hands stroked the top of your head while the other kept you against him. The tremors that traveled throughout your body disappeared as something softer vibrated through you. Closing your eyes you could feel the soft vibrations coming from Namjoon’s chest.
Like a cat purring.
It helped ground you enough to move yourself out of his grasp, heat spreading from your cheeks and down your neck. It was already embarrassing enough that you begged him to stay with you, and now the poor Dragon had to witness your nightmare? Refusing to make eye contact, you cleared your throat a little and settled on staring at your hands in your lap.
The safest option.
“I-uh… dream was… yeah…” You rambled pathetically, wincing at your own choice of words and just how scratchy your throat was.
There was a chuckle beside you as the Dragon sat up properly, arm wrapping back around you. Despite your attempt at distance he was keen on keeping you glued to his side. Green eyes danced in the early morning light, watching your face with a mix of amusement and adoration. “I’ll explain everything to you once you’ve been taken care of.”
Your eyebrows knit together, wondering what he meant but the growl in your stomach seemed to have answered your question. Your cheeks slightly flushed once more as Namjoon grinned. Fingers danced against your back as he leaned closer, watching your face redden like a tomato with embarrassment as he was mere inches away. He stared for a second, eyes scanning your face as you fidgeted slightly under his intense gaze.
“Cute…” The word spilled from his lips in a whisper, making your eyes widen. A grin was all he gave you as he stood suddenly. “I’ll take care of you.” Standing up, he made his way across the room, turning one last time to you. His eyes danced with amusement as he watched you for a second before he disappeared out of the room.
When the door slid shut you frowned, not knowing how to understand the feelings that were washing over you. All your life you had been used to isolation, independence, and being able to distance yourself with ease. But with Namjoon… it was different. And you found yourself enjoying the feelings that he brought, even if they did frighten you. Feelings you’ve never experienced before, that made you feel almost selfish. Almost.
You didn’t want to leave the peaceful room and found yourself longing to stay locked up in the safe walls, away from the chaos that was waiting outside that sliding door. You enjoyed how quiet and simple it was. But those feelings of want were paired with feelings of guilt. The village of Arcrine was never kind to you and a small part of you wanted to watch the entire place crumble and let whatever happens happen. But a larger part of you knew there were still good souls living in that place.
Good souls such as Jongho, a childhood best friend that stayed true to you. The baker’s daughter who did her best to give Jongho extra bread to take to you, despite the people not wanting you anywhere near them. For fear of the unknown. You could see it through their eyes: a child that can understand the talking’s of the insane was not something to smile upon. Rather it was entirely fearsome, worrisome. You still remember the horror that crossed your mothers face when you announced to the world that you understood them. All because you ventured inside the forest, where Felix found you. A small decision made by childish curiosity led you on the path that you were currently on: going from the village’s outcast to one of the few who could help them. All because you wanted to learn more and grow outside the forest that enclosed you.
And you almost had those answers that riddled you for decades now; all you needed to do was speak to Felix and ask the questions that lingered on Arcrine. Those answers could help guide you to a solution to the problems you faced regarding the fog, land, and disease. There was a sliver of hope that perhaps the magic of Asterios could save Arcrine and you could see Jongho and go home-
Home.
The very word brought images to your mind that before you wouldn’t have even thought about.
Your mind didn’t see your small home where one room fit your entire living space. There were no dark woods that were cursed with a fog. No Humans that spit on your existence and claim you to be cursed. The world of gray that you had known was no longer a place you wanted to be a part of. Wanted to go back. Instead you saw vibrant colors. Mountains as high as the sky, forests that held life and possibility. You wanted to see more, do more, and explore this new world. You could see yourself traveling in peace, learning more of the species around you, sharing knowledge and wisdom with Soojin. You wanted to watch a sunset with your hand being held in another that belonged to a handsome man with green eyes.
Your face fell in your hands, cheeks turning red all over again. ‘Gods, what is wrong with me?’
The door slid open and you peeked up to see the very man of your thoughts walking in, a large tray balanced in his hands. He placed the food before you and took his original seat at your side.
“These items are light on the stomach, easy to digest.” He began, pointing at the bowls before you. “Bone broth, rice, and some bread. There’s a glass of water,” He motioned to a taller glass then a smaller one. “And tea. Mixed together some lovely herbs to help soothe that throat of yours. Oh, and magic, per Soojin.”
You were quick at drinking the water and tea, not wasting a single minute as you gulped the water and sipped the tea. In one minute you had finished the glass and half of the tea. Whatever Soojin placed in the tea had your throat healing faster than you could blink.
“Whoa. Much better, thank you. I do have questions-” You paused, thinking for a moment. “A lot. And I don’t know where to begin honestly…”
“There’s so much to unpack… so much to finally tell you.” A small smile on his face as he looked at his lap. “As Soojin once said, stories are best told with good food. In your case, easy to digest food that is.” The two of you shared a laugh, recalling that day that seemed forever ago. “Looks like this time I’ll do all the talking while you listen.” You grinned as you remembered how you spoke of your family to the Dragon not too long ago. His arm slithered back around your waist while his eyes looked lost in thought for a minute. “We’ll start at the beginning…
“I was born here, in Draegon, 600 years ago. My mother was a general while my father was a strategist, and together served the Dragons of Draengon for centuries. Even when the Mortal War was upon us they served until the end. You see, Draengon fell when the Human’s mainland, Nysa, fell; the two were close allies and shared much military strength together. I was a fledgling at the time, a child who witnessed villages burning and Dragon’s being slaughtered. My mother did not make it, and despite his anguish at losing his wife, my father carried on for my sake.
“We spent my upbringing hiding from the Elves; they had always made Dragon hunting a sport. And once the war was over it only got worse. Magic flows through every creature here on Asterios, it gives each one a special ability. Along with breathing fire and scales that are near impossible to penetrate, we can also shift to different sizes. It allows stealthy travel as well as easier living spaces for those who prefer their Dragon form.
“My father took me high in the mountains of Draengon, a place the war hadn’t touched. We stayed there for a couple of centuries. When I was officially of age, my father passed. I knew his time was coming soon; losing his mate to survive and knowing he’d never hold her again,” The arm around your waist tightened, hand gripping the fabric of your shirt. “It’s a fate worse than death to live your life without the other side of your soul there. He was buried properly amongst his comrades, where my mother was slayed.
“For nearly a century I attempted to find other Dragons. I had hopes of finding a friend, companion, and if the gods allowed, a mate. But I remained alone in the mountains, hiding from the Elves that lurked around and wondering what my purpose was. Life held no meaning for me, I read all the books that were in that old library, searched high and low. My life felt as though it was dragging on. Until around two decades ago.
“Something in me was tugging, urging me to leave the safety of my nest. My Dragon, those instincts, were kickstarting. Although it warmed my insides there was something deep down that sensed trouble… I couldn’t explain it, but I had to go. I followed that feeling all the way until I reached the far Eastern side of Asterios. And then it was gone… I felt as though my heart broke. That the one thing that could bring joy into this life was taken from me. I searched every day and night desperately trying to get that feeling back. Until one night I gave up.
“I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to continue anymore. I was tired, alone, and wandering around aimlessly for 20 years. I was depressed and tired, and then the Orcs found me. Instinctually I tried to fight but honestly I was tired; what’s the point of living without having a purpose? I didn’t have one… And then a purpose found me. Hope found me.” A smile appeared on his face. “You, Y/n. You found me.” He fixed his gaze at you, a mixture of emotions flowing through them. “That night I was ready to die, but then I finally found you. An impossible gift from the gods.”
You can easily recall that night, the dream you had of him in his little form imprisoned. But you had to frown. You? A gift? Not something you were used to being called if you were honest. As if sensing your doubt you felt his weight shift on the bed.
“Y/n. My little Seeker.” His voice was closer, and turning your head you noticed that he had gotten closer. A hand cupped yours, thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. “I was searching for you this entire time.” His eyes bore into yours, trying to get you to understand but he was met with confusion. Of course you didn’t know, couldn’t know, what he was talking about. You knew what he was feeling, that much he was sure of, but you’ve never learned of this.
Leaning closer he rested his forehead against yours, just like in Soojin’s shop. The contact grounded him, keeping him from shaking as the memories came flooding back.
“You don’t know how helpless I felt while we traveled.” He whispered, voice shaking slightly. “I couldn’t help you, couldn’t even talk to you.” Fingers threaded through your hair, he closed his eyes. “Each day that passed felt like an eternity. I was worthless, watching you carry the entire journey on your shoulders. And I still couldn’t protect you properly…” His jaw clenched. “That damn Elf. Siyeon,” The name was spat out, face scowling. “Led you to Draengon on the worst path imaginable; weather conditions, weak magic, and steep hills. I don’t know how… maybe the gods took pity on us… but my strength came back just before the bastard…”
“I failed you on that mountain. I failed to avenge you.” Namjoon looked sick, pressing his head harder against yours. His hands shook as he clung to you. “Seeing you there, seeing you suffering and ready to accept your fate for me. I wanted to kill them, I tried to kill them both. But you were fading, your heartbeat was already so weak. I did some damage to them before taking you away. I blindly followed those instincts and prayed to any god that would listen to keep you here. Keep your heart beating.”
“I saw it,” You blinked a few times as you recalled the passing scenes that made no sense to you at the time. “I could feel you…”
“You were clinging to life and I- I couldn’t let you go. I just found you- I did everything to keep you alive.” His lip trembled as new tears spilled as he closed his eyes. “But it wasn’t enough.”
You knew what he was speaking of. You remember hearing him, his scream…
“You died, Y/n. Your heart stopped, I heard it, feltit…” His shoulders quivered. “When your heart stopped I felt as though the world ended. I held you in this room. You were cold, frail, I didn’t see any signs of life-” He swallowed the lump in his throat. Green eyes shimmered with Until I felt you, through the bond. Barely there, you were hanging on… Ourbond saved your life. Your soul threaded with mine and refused to let go.” Namjoon opened his eyes, the whites red from the tears. His face turned into your palm, lips grazing the skin as he shivered. “The magic in our bond gave you the strength you needed. Your heartbeat was music to my ears and still is.”
“Bond…” A shimmering green rope of sorts came to your mind; clinging to it while screaming you were still here- “It’s green and shimmers.” Your voice sounded distant as you remembered. “I had to grab it, I was falling into darkness.” Chills danced across your skin. “It had a heartbeat-”
“My magic, running inside my veins, was bringing you back to me.” His thumbs brushed your cheeks, only now realizing silent tears streamed down your face. “That’s the beauty of our bond. And I never got to tell you…”
With your faces just inches apart you could see the raw emotions that played behind those hooded eyes. So many emotions swimming in shades of green, a color you wanted to drown in. You found yourself leaning closer, transfixed, but large hands kept you still.
“I almost lost you once, I cannot, will not, make that mistake again.” A hand dropped from your face, reaching into his pocket, and pulling out a small item; almost black at first glance, but once the sun shined upon it you saw the green coming through.
“Your scale, I thought I lost it-” You reached for it, fingers almost grasping the item but Namjoon enclosed it in his fist. You frowned and looked up at him. His face set with determination, eyes glued to yours with an unwavering look. Freezing up you thought that perhaps he was still mad about trading it when you first arrived. “Namjoon, I’m sorry-”
“Soojin was right when she first told you about the scale,” He ignored the apology, eyes trained on his fist. “We give it to people we truly care for. Anama Cara as the Fae like to call it. And Y/n, that is what you are to me.” His hands were gentle as he took one of your hands and placed the scale at the center of your palm. “The bond we have is no mere coincidence, nor is it a mistake. Whether it be from the gods or the stars themselves make no difference to me; nothing could change the fact that you, Y/n, are not justmy Human. Our souls are entwined together, predestined and fated. I was made for you, and you, me. Those feelings, the dreams, it was through this bond that we were able to find one another. I was able to find you, Y/n of Acrine, my mate.”
The world felt as though it stopped. In that single moment, nothing else mattered. Your heartbeat was echoing in your ears as you stared at Namjoon. And of course, it made sense. This would have sounded impossible but after being in Asterios, after all that you two have been through, you knewhe was right. The joy, the feeling of freedom, of love, of security, of wonder, of feeling at home…
It all leads back to Namjoon.
“We give our mates a scale, to represent that we will be with them, guard them, protect them, sacrifice for them, and above all else,” His fingers intertwined with yours, the scale being encased between both your hands. “To love them. Y/n, I know I failed at many of these promises. But I swear to you, I will never let you get hurt again. I will never let you be touched by that darkness again.”
Your lip trembled, head shaking slightly as a small laugh escaped you. “Sill Dragon, you can’t promise me those things.” Your voice shook with emotion. Namjoon frowned and you continued. “But you can promise to stand by my side, show me what love truly is, teach me what home feels like and to catch me when I do fall.” Clutching the Dragon scale you leaned forward, pressing a small kiss to his head. “As long as you’re with me, I’m okay.”
Arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you directly into his lap. His face buried in your neck, taking a deep breath as a shudder escaped him. You could feel a few tears stray from his eyes as he slowly rocked you with him. You nuzzled into his chest, listening to his heartbeat and the soft rumble that could easily make you fall asleep again.
Pulling you away gently, he offered a small smile. “You missed…” You frowned, wondering what he meant until he leaned in.
His lips caught yours, soft, careful, and steady. A hand reached up to the back of your head, fingers gently tangled into your hair, tilting your head at the right angle. His other hand remained at your lower back, hand pressing you closer, no space allowed between the two of you. Your hands wandered to his shoulders then up to the base of his neck, pressing yourself impossibly closer, deepening the kiss.
You earned a low growl from him, one that used to make your flight or fight kick in but now it caused a buzz to surge through your body, tingling down to your toes. His hand suddenly gripped your hair, making your lips part in a soft gasp. Taking advantage, Namjoon slid his tongue past your lips, claiming every inch of your mouth.
Heart beating wild, body feeling as though it were on fire, you had to have been in paradise. Pulling away for air, you felt his lips slide to the corner of your mouth, trailing down your throat. Teeth nipping at your skin for brief seconds before his tongue swiped across the area lovingly, almost apologetic. Your body arched towards his, head rolling back to give him better access, a silent plea to continue. Hand trailing down from your hair, pulling the flimsy cloth back to reveal more skin; his lips quite to pounce on the new territory. Your hips unconsciously rolled into his, a soft moan coming from you as he found a weak point. The Dragon was quick to assault the area thoroughly, reveling in the way you moaned with pleasure. You wanted more, your hands were dropping to his shirt, trying to rip it off-
You jolted at the sound of the screen door being pounded on. Followed by a voice you knew too well.
“Now that you two are mates, or whatever, it’s time we spoke about what else has been going on!”
You heard Felix’s footsteps fade, your breath still heavy, skin still warm from the intense contact. Looking at Namjoon, he was glaring at the door, eyes narrowed.
“I’m going to kill him,” He growled, voice still deep from the haze of lust that had taken over. His hands were still glued to you, fingers playing with your shirt.
Feeling yourself turn red at the realization that Felix and Soojin most likely heard and knew, you could only laugh. Keeping your head tucked into Namjoon’s neck you sighed. “He’s right though; we need to head back.”
Sighing he stood, pulling you up with him. “Fine. But then I’ll kill him-”
“No.”
Chuckling he took your hand and took you to the door, leading you down a hallway and towards a main room where a Sorceress and Fae were eagerly awaiting your arrival.
Genre: fluff? | enemies to friends to lovers au | college au
Pairing: Namjoon x Reader
Warnings: my bad writing and my bad drawing,,, | English is not my first language
Summary: you’re starting your first year of college and you’ve never had a boyfriend before. Your brother Jungkook finds three love letters you wrote to your childhood (Jimin), middle school (Namjoon) and high school (Jin) crushes and sends them out. Little did he know all of them were attending the same college as you.
Love. Was there something better than love? You honestly didn’t think so. The idea of loving someone and being loved in return was the source of your inner and more secret desires. Holding hands, whispering sweet nothings to each other, hugging and kissing, sharing a lifetime with your soulmate was all your heart had ever desired. Love was everything to you and, as a famous poet once said, love was so powerful it could move the sun and all the other stars. Love was the essence of the Universe.
‘In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’
You giggled again, tugging the book you were reading closer to your face. No matter how many times you had read that same passage, your heart still fluttered every time your eyes landed on it. You had underlined that exact passage so many times that the page was now slightly worn out. How many times had you wished to receive those words? You sighed, rereading the passage once again. In truth, you knew that passage by heart.
“Please, don’t tell me you’re reading Pride and Prejudiceagain?”
The voice of your brother startled you and you snapped out of your intense daydreaming. You closed your book and glared at him. “Get out,” you snarled at him.
Jungkook rolled his eyes and, uninvited, sat on your bed. “I will never understand how obsessed you can be with this Mr. Darky.”
“It’s Mr. Darcy!”
He shrugged, “whatever.” He then looked around your room and slowly whistled, “this is an A* mess. Weren’t you supposed to clean and pack everything up like…” he looked at his watch and then said, “fifteen minutes ago?”
You groaned, “I got distracted.”
“Well, I’m sure Mr. Dumpy-“
“Mr. Darcy!”
“-won’t mind if you actually start cleaning this mess,” Jungkook finished, shoving you aside with his foot.
You huffed and much to your annoyance, you knew that your baby brother was right. So you got up, but not without gently putting down your favourite book, and started shoving your clothes inside some random box.
“God, Y/N, why do you have to be so messy,” Jungkook groaned.
You rolled your eyes at him because, seriously, why did he have to act like the big brother here? But again, he was right.
“Why are you here anyway?” you asked while this time properly folding the clothes you decided to donate.
“I finished with my boxes half an hour ago,” he said with a grin, “and I had some spare time to use before Taehyung and Jimin arrive.”
At the mention of Jimin’s name, you could not help but blush furiously. You really hoped your ears weren’t as red as you thought. And yes, you might have had a slight crush on your childhood friend, Jimin.
“Jimin is coming as well?” you asked trying to sound nonchalant. Lucky for you, your brother wasn’t exactly quick when it came to matters of the heart.
Jungkook hummed, “yeah, I thought it would be nice since you guys are practically moving in together.”
You shrieked, “we are not moving in together!”
“Relax, Y/N,” your brother said, eyeing you like you just turned into a madwoman, “seriously, what’s up with you?”
How could you tell your younger brother that you have had a crush for your mutual childhood friend since the age of 10 and now that you and said friend were both moving to the same college you didn’t know how to keep your crush at bay? You couldn’t. Truth be told, you didn’t know how to act around Jimin without your brother and Taehyung being there as well. You were too scared that the boy would have found out.
“I’m sorry, Kookie. I’m just stressed with this whole college business,” you said, plopping carelessly on your small puffy chair.
Jungkook nodded, “it’s the end of an era.”
You didn’t mean to, but you started crying. You had tried so hard to not think about that for the whole summer and hearing your brother, who also happened to be one of your best friends, saying what you strongly tried to ignore was like a punch in the guts.
But it was the end of an era. You and Jimin were going off to college, leaving Jungkook and Taehyung behind. Your group, once inseparable, was splitting. No more movie nights, no more gaming, no more spending your days at the park chasing the ducks, eating ice cream together. You weren’t ready to say goodbye to all of that, to the best memories of your life. You weren’t ready to close the happiest chapter of your life. And certainly, you weren’t ready to embark into a more obscure, unsure and lonely chapter where your brother’s bunny smile wasn’t there to comfort you and Taehyung’s laugh wasn’t there to accompany you in the journey.
“No, Y/N, don’t cry,” Jungkook said moving closer to you.
You sniffled, “I’m not crying.”
Jungkook ruffled your hair, “sure you’re not.”
“I will miss the gang, you know,” you mumbled, deeply appreciating your brother’s efforts to comfort you. “It has always been the four of us and now we are going to split up.”
“It’s still gonna be the four of us,” Jungkook said with a soft smile and, seriously, when did he grow up so much? Where was your little brother?
“College doesn’t have to scare you this much, Y/N. It’s okay if you and Jimin will get new friends, our gang will just grow a little,” he said, patting your head lightly. You smiled at him, truly grateful for having him by your side when you needed him the most.
“Besides,” Jungkook said with a sly grin, “maybe you’ll manage to finally find a boyfriend.”
You groaned and pushed him away. “You are awful,” you said getting up from the bed. Jungkook laughed, showing you his signature bunny smile.
“Who knows? Maybe you’ll find your real life Mr. Dampy-”
“It’s Mr. Darcy!”
Jungkook shrugged again, “but seriously, how come someone as romantic as you never had a boyfriend?”
You arched an eyebrow, not quite sure why your little brother was suddenly curious about your love life. For a brief moment you were scared that your not-so-oblivious brother had caught up with your little crush and panic started clawing at your ribcage. You decided that the best tactic was to play dumb and play low, trying to be very careful not to spill any valuable information.
“It is a bit hard for a girl to find a boyfriend when she is surrounded by three very possessive boys,” you told him with an eye-roll.
Your brother chuckled, “okay, point taken.”
You snorted. Then, you started sorting out your clothes again, trying to decide what to bring with you to college and what to donate instead.
“But seriously, no one had ever caught your eyes?”
“Why are you so curious all of a sudden?”
Jungkook looked embarrassed and judging by his ears turning red, you knew that something was up.
“Kookie?” You sounded like you were about to tackle him to the ground to spill everything out of him. To be honest, you weren’t that opposed to the idea.
“Look,” he started, “it’s just that me and the boys are worried about you.” When you didn’t say anything, Jungkook groaned. “You’re always so happy whenever you think about love, we don’t want you to get hurt. Which is why Jimin is being appointed as your guardian.”
“What?!” you shrieked. You could feel all your blood draining inside of your body. Surely, he had to be joking. How were you supposed to forget about your crush for Jimin when he was going to be there every time you tried to talk to a boy?
“It was Tae’s idea,” he said, raising his hands in front of you. “Jimin agreed immediately and, honestly, I think you do need to be supervised.” He then noticed your face becoming painfully red and tried to placate your rising anger, “we just want you to have a good first love experience.”
You groaned, throwing a pillow at him. “And then you have the audacity of asking me why I never had a boyfriend! It’s because of you three.”
Jungkook had the decency of looking guilty, “I’m sorry, sis. We didn’t mean to ruin anything.”
You sighed, “do you realise I am the bigger sibling here, right? You don’t need to protect me, Kookie.”
Jungkook looked at his feet and muttered a quiet: “I just want you to fall in love with someone good.”
You tried to stay mad at him but, to be honest, you couldn’t. You know that your brother always had the best intentions and, if it meant you being happy, he would always try his best to work out a way to make that happen. Sometimes his plans had backfired, but his heart had always been in the right place. And that was Jungkook, always going the extra mile to help the people he loved and always trying harder whenever he failed. Truthfully, you loved him for that.
“You know I’m not really into that love thing,” you said, for the first time being truly honest with your brother. His head shot up immediately and the look on his face would have been hilarious if the situation hadn’t turned this dense.
“What? But you always read romance and dream about Mr. Darky-”
“Mr. Darcy!”
“-and you always talk about your wedding day. So, you’re telling me you don’t really like those things?”
You sighed and rubbed your eyes, “I do. But reality is different from fiction, Kookie. In the real world, there is no Mr. Darcy waiting for me and the thought of having a relationship is scary because I’m afraid I will be disappointed.”
You had never been so honest with someone before. You felt vulnerable and hoped that your brother wouldn’t want to carry on this conversation. Your heart ached enough already without the painful realisation that all your books and movies ever did was to make your expectations insanely high. Truth was, you were in love with the idea of love, but it was the kind of love that you could find in a book. Often, real life tended to disappoint you and if there was something that you cherished enough to not get it ruined by it, it was definitely love.
Before Kookie could say anything, your doorbell rang, and you took it as an excuse to exit the conversation. It was a coward move, you knew it, but your heart was feeling too raw for bravery. So, you ran downstairs to answer the door, leaving a sad but determined Jungkook behind.
***
“Is everything ready, Y/N?” Jimin asked.
You tried to not stare at him too much. Seriously, how were you going to survive college alone with him? You felt like dying. Like digging your own hole and bury yourself there without ever leaving it again.
“Yeah, it is. I have few boxes I want to donate first but aside from that I am good to go,” you answered.
Tae cooed, “aww, our baby Y/N is finally growing up.”
You shot him a deadly glare, “I’m the eldest! Show some respect.”
“Ah, I’m sorry,” said Tae with a grin, “old lady.”
You wondered if it was socially accepted to murder a friend for being called old. You supposed not, but maybe if no one found out…
“Alright, children! I’m done.” Jungkook had just entered your house with a big grin on his face. Ever since he started working out, he became quite the show off, and what better opportunity to prove everyone his bulky figure than carrying all your boxed in your car? You weren’t complaining.
“Good job, Hercules,” you said, “now let’s go or we will be late.”
“Ah, you guys go ahead,” Jungkook said.
You looked at him confused, “Kookie? Is everything alright?”
Your brother nodded and smiled at you. “Yeah, me and Tae have something to do first.”
“We do?” said a puzzled Tae. Jungkook shot him a deadly glare, so he coughed and said, “ah, yes we do. Very important indeed.”
You narrowed your eyes at them. They were definitely being suspicious, and you did not trust the knowing look that passed between them, but before you could question them, Jimin called your name and the fear of being late overcame your curiosity.
_
“So, how is it going?”
You rolled on your back, resting your phone in between your ear and shoulder while packing your books in the bag. “It’s been alright, I guess. I met a guy, Yoongi, on the first day and now we pretty much always go to lectures together.”
Jungkook hummed over the phone, “nothing else?”
You frowned, holding the phone with your hand. “You’re being weird.”
You heard your brother nervously chuckle from the other end of the phone and if you weren’t sure before that something was up, you definitely were now. You decided that you would investigate later considering that you were done for the day and all you wanted to do was go back to your room and have a nap.
“Have you seen Jimin much?” he asked you.
You sighed, “not much. I guess we’ve both been very busy. It has only been two weeks since we started.”
Your conversation carried on for a little longer and when it came to say goodbye to your brother you felt a pinch of nostalgia hitting you, wishing that both him and Taehyung could be there with you. You weren’t being completely honest with him about Jimin, but you were not ready yet to tell him that you had been trying to avoid since you arrived there. You were scared that being alone with Jimin would cause your feelings to resurface and potentially ruin your friendship.
“Y/N? Is that you?”
You were snapped back to reality by a guy approaching you. You stopped in the middle of the courtyard and blinked once, then you blinked again. Was that really…?
“Kim Seokjin?” you asked, not quite believing that the guy you had liked for awhile in High School was also attending your same college. Seriously, how small was the world?
Seokjin smiled at you, “I almost didn’t recognise you. You know, with the glasses and all,” he said waving at you.
You smiled, and you were quite sure you were blushing a bit. You had not seen Seokjin in months, and even before then you two weren’t exactly friends. Although Seokjin had always being very nice and charming to you, helping you out during Maths and always offering you a cookie whenever you had a bad day. Your crush for him had not been anything serious, you supposed. It had probably been the result of his caring attention and the fact that you had always wanted to believe in love so much that you portrayed your fantasies on the first handsome guy who so much looked at you.
You two started a conversation, catching up on each other’s life, on college. It was so easy to talk to him, especially now without your constant blushing and stammering. Jin made you promise to study together one of these days and, although your heart did not thump harder and no butterfly woke up in your stomach, you were happy. Perhaps this was the beginning of a nice friendship.
_
“I cannot believe that you really showed up hangover on your very first day,” you said to Yoongi, who in turn simply shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich.
“Surely is not that unreasonable?”
“Jimin! Don’t encourage him, please.”
You were sitting in the courtyard, technically studying with Jimin, Yoongi and Jin but practically you were all enjoying the sun and getting distracted. It was strange to be again in a group of four where your brother and Taehyung were missing, but Yoongi and Jin were slowly becoming good friends. It has been Jimin’s idea to study all together, he had suggested several times that although the gang would always be the gang, perhaps it was time for you two to expand your friendship group. So, you agreed and offered to ask Yoongi and Jin to come along while Jimin asked a friend of his, Hoseok, to join as well.
“Hello, you must all be the friends Jimin was telling me about.”
You turned around to look at the guy you could only assume to be Jung Hoseok and smiled at him. But before you could say yes, Yoongi mumbled something along the lines of “not sure we can say friends” but you elbowed him slightly and made room for Hoseok who, credit to him, did not lose his sunny smile after hearing Yoongi’s word.
“We are. Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N and Mr. grumpy here is Yoongi.”
And so, your life started taking an unexpected but utterly pleasant turn. You were making friends, you were happy, and there was no talking of love and relationship. All was well.
_
You were late. Terribly, unmistakably, and horribly late. You knew you should have not run in the hallways, but seriously what other choice did you have? Later on, when you would think of this exact moment, you will agree that arriving late for a lecture would have been a much better option than running straight into someone. And not just a random someone, no. Because life could not be kind to you, so the Universe had decided that the person you would knock over on the floor was no one else than your Middle School crush, Kim Namjoon himself, the pain of your existence and your fiercest rival. And of course, he attended your same college, how silly of you to think otherwise.
“Oh no no no, I’m so sorry,” you said while helping him collect his belongings. You didn’t know what to panic for: still being late for your lectures or encountering your nemesis?
“Why am I not surprised that you are here?”
His voice was just as icy as you remembered it to be. Or rather, just as icy with you as you remembered. Because there was a reason why he had been your Middle School crush, aside from the constant banter and the fact that at the time you were really into enemies to lovers type of books. Kim Namjoon had a sweet and calm voice, almost hypnotising. And now, almost 10 years later, his voice was also ridiculously manly. And the butterflies that you thought died inside your stomach? They were suddenly back, storming inside your body. Because his voice was not only manly, but also insanely attractive. And your betraying heart skipped several beats when your eyes landed on him. Kim Namjoon was a sight to see. Not only was he now tall (the perfect height for you to lean your head on this shoulder), but also a man. And you were only human, after all. A very weak one.
“Can you stop staring at me?” he asked not so friendly.
You wanted to hide, far away, somewhere where you would never have to encounter him again. Of course, he caught you staring at him, your luck was embarrassing. “Sorry, I was just surprised to see you here.”
He scoffed, “you surely did not think you were the only one smart enough to be here?”
Yes, maybe Kim Namjoon was now more attractive than you would have liked, but you also remembered how vexed he made you feel. “Does everything have to be a fight with you?” you hissed in return.
He rolled his eyes at you, “only with annoying people.”
You groaned, “you’re just as obnoxious as I remembered.”
“I beg your pardon? You’re the one who clashed into me, knocked all of my things on the floor and then stared at me for 10 minutes-”
“It was not 10 minutes!” you protested. Seriously, he was so irritating.
“Whatever, I don’t have time for this. Now because of you I will be late,” he said.
You gasped. Your lecture! You did not even respond to him, you simply sprinted away, hoping that the professor would allow you to enter the class (spoiler: he did not) and that you would never meet Namjoon again (spoiler: you did. Several times).
_
“And he’s so annoying! Why does he have to be friend with Yoongi? He’s infiltrating my group and soon enough they will get rid of me,” you said munching on your dumplings and pointing the chopstick at your screen where two confused Tae and Jungkook were looking at you. “He hates me!”
“Y/N, don’t you think you’re exaggerating?” Taehyung asked.
You shook your head, gulping down your last dumpling. “He despises me! Don’t you remember how he was in Middle School?”
Jungkook shrugged, “Namjoon-hyung was always very polite with me. I actually quite liked the guy.”
Taehyung nodded, “he really was!”
You groaned, pressing your face into your pillow, “I can’t believe you’re siding with the enemy.”
“You know what, Y/N? One might even think that you still like him,” said Taehyung with a smirk.
You frowned, “what do you mean ‘still like him’? What do you know?” You were now incredibly suspicious. How did he know about your, very much past, crush for Namjoon? As far as you were aware, no one knew anything about your love life.
Jungkook chuckled nervously, “he’s just joking. We must go now, bye sister!” And then he hung up on you.
Those two were up to something, and there was only one person that could tell you what was going on. It was finally time to find Jimin and put an end to your avoiding behaviour.
_
You were almost halfway through when you spotted Jin coming towards you, looking quite conflicted. You noticed his posture was strangely stiff and that he could not quite meat your eyes. When he said hello to you, his voice was tense.
“Is everything okay, Jin?” you asked. You watched him huff and fidget with something in his hand. An envelope. A pink envelope. A very familiar, pink envelope. Panic started crawling on you. It could not be real.
“I received this,” he said waving the letter at you, looking the very description of discomfort. “Look, Y/N, I am honoured, really, but I thought we were only friends. I didn’t know you felt differently.”
“Oh no,” you started panting, panic overwhelming you. You could not breathe; your world was spinning around you, and you could hardly feel the ground beneath your feet. “How did you-”
“Y/N! Are you okay?” Seokjin was now seriously worried about you.
You forced yourself to take in a couple of steadying breaths. “I did not send that,” you said with a small voice. You truly hoped this was just a nightmare, a cruel mistake at best.
Seokjin scratched his head, “but it has been signed by you?”
You laughed nervously, “I know. I have written it years ago. I never intended for it to reach you.”
“So… you love me?”
You shook your head, “no. Don’t get me wrong, at the time I thought I did but…I only wrote it to remind myself of how I felt. I don’t even know why you have it.”
He nodded, passing the envelope to you. “I think you should have it back then.”
You thanked him, taking the letter from him. “Seokjin?”
“Yes?”
“Are we still friends?” you asked hesitantly, not daring to meet his eyes.
He smiled at you and bumped your shoulder with his. “Of course we are. Although, I am a bit hurt that I was not the only one to receive such a beautiful letter.”
You froze, terror taking control of your brain. Not the only one?
“Namjoon seemed quite shocked when he read his.”
Oh no. No no no no no.
If Namjoon had received your letter, which was in itself already bad, then that meant that there was a chance that Jimin had gotten his.
_
You needed to find Jimin. Truthfully, you had no idea what to tell him. It was true, you did not love Seokjin, nor Namjoon, but how could you lie to your dearest friend? How could you look at him in the eyes and tell him that it had all been a mistake? But it’s not as if you could tell him the truth either. Perhaps, you thought, he didn’t receive his letter. Maybe, whomever sent them did not find the one addressed to Jimin. But who did send them? The only thing you could think about was that the box in which they were kept had mistakenly being put with the ones destined to be donated. And then the person who had found them had thought that they ended up there by accident when you were actually meant to send them out. It was your own fault for writing down the full address on each one.
“Y/N! Wait up!”
You stopped in your tracks and closed your eyes, hoping that maybe if you could not see him then he would not see you.
“What is the meaning of this?” Namjoon asked. You opened up one eye to look at him handing you his blue envelope. Of course he saw you.
You sighed and took the envelope. “A mistake, that’s what is it. I did not send it out, if that’s what you’re asking.”
He raised an eyebrow and folded his arms on his chest, “maybe not, but you still wrote it.”
Ouch. You scoffed, “don’t flatter yourself. It means nothing.”
“It said you love me. It said, and I quote, ‘I tried everything I could to stop loving the way my soul calls to yours’-”
You pressed your hands to his mouth, not even caring about invading his personal space or that this was the first time your skin came into contact with his. “Ah, ah! Don’t want to hear about it.”
“Look,” you said taking a step back but still watching carefully in case he decided to randomly quote what you wrote at the age of 13. “I wrote this years ago and never intended for it to reach you.”
“You addressed it,” he stated.
“Sorry?”
He huffed, “you wrote my full address. It came to my house and my mother had to send it to me here. If you never intended to reach me, why did you address it and stamp it?”
You opened your mouth to protest but could not think of many things to say that weren’t ‘I don’t know’. So, you stayed silent.
Exasperated, you looked around. Everywhere, really, so that you didn’t need to look at his piercing eyes. That’s when you noticed Jimin walking towards you, a yellow envelope in his hand.
You don’t know exactly what happened in your brain back then, but you had no time to ponder your next move. All you could think about was making sure that Jimin would never find out about your feelings for him. And so, there was only one thing left for you to do.
You wrapped your arms around Namjoon’s neck, and you kissed him. Despite the terror that seeing Jimin had caused you, you could not help but notice how warm and soft his lips were, how firm his body was against yours. And how his hand unmistakeably grabbed your waist for a brief second. How his lips had moved against yours.
It all lasted so briefly before he pulled himself away from you. You did not hear him asking you what you were thinking, all that you could notice was that Jimin had left. Your plan had worked, for now. All you needed to worry about now was a flustered and angered Namjoon.
You raised a hand to silence his stream of consciousness, “I need you to be my fake boyfriend.”
“Pardon?”
He was speechless, and rightfully so. You even doubted you were making any sense. But somehow it did, in some deep and twisted part of your brain.
“Jimin,” you started to explain, “he has the same letter you and Jin have. I wrote them in different periods of time and, before you ask, I don’t know why I stamped them. Maybe a part of him wanted one of you to know, to return my feelings. I don’t love you, nor Seokjin for that matter, but I do love Jimin. And he is the only person who can never find out.”
Namjoon stayed silent for several minutes, trying to take everything in. “What is it that you are asking of me, exactly?”
You sighed, “if I could pretend I am actually in love with someone else, if I can show him that that letter belongs to the past, perhaps I can still save our friendship. You don’t owe me anything, Kim Namjoon, but what I am asking of you is: will you be my fake boyfriend?”
Summary- Results of a pregnancy test lead to heavy conversations.
word count- 3.6k
pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader
rating- PG 15
genre- series, idolau, fluff, smut, angst
warnings- unwanted pregnancy, talks of abortion, allusions to depression and anxiety, panic attack (brief), SO MUCH ANGST.
a.n- well after 2952905209582 years im back with an update and all I can say is im sorry but the angst is upon us! hopefully the next update won’t take me too long to finish! hope you enjoy this chapter and stay with this couple. I really do love them and im looking forward to you following the rest of their journey (as slow as it may be)
A special thank you to @casuallyimagining for hearing me screaming about this wip for ages and @m-yg93 for beta reading this for me! Love you both!
As always feedback appreciated. Send me an ask!
You stared at the tiles of the cold bathroom floor as you sat next to Namjoon, timer on your phone counting down the seconds to your fate. Your thoughts were dramatic, loudly knocking around your brain, but all you could focus on was the little grime between the white tiles that was missed by the cleaners. You had half a mind to get up to scrub it out just to give you something to do, but Namjoon’s hand was holding yours tight, his eyes glued to the pregnancy test placed in front of you. You had left it upside down to save yourself from the suspense – not that it helped.
“Are we… are we excit-” Namjoon began only to be cut off by the shrill alarm from your phone. The two of you stared at one another for a while, too scared to look at the results. With one hand still in his, you reached for the test, flipping it over to see the results
Two lines.
Positive.
You exhaled loudly, your heart pounding as you looked at Namjoon who was still staring at the little white stick on the floor, his mouth falling open. When he looked at you, his mouth turned into a huge smile, one that deepened his dimples and scrunched his eyes till they were invisible. While waiting for the results he didn’t know what he wanted it to say, but as soon as he saw it, he couldn’t help the way joy bubbled through him. You were pregnant. He was going to be a dad and before he knew it his hands were cupping your face and pulling you into a kiss, gentle and reverent, as if he was pouring all the love he had into it.
“We’re pregnant,” he sighed, his forehead on yours, his fingers gently stroking the nape of your neck.
“We are,” you replied, but instead of the exhilarated tone that Namjoon sported, yours was almost empty, devoid of any emotions. It made him startle, pulling away from you to gauge your neutral expression.
“Are we not happy about this?” he asked, only for you to stand up and walk towards the living room where you sat on the couch, staring into space. He followed you, sitting beside you, hesitant, a hand holding yours. You fingers remained limp as he entwined them, caging his heart in his chest as it banged against the walls, faster and faster.
He didn’t know how long you stared blankly at the wall in front you, unblinking, frightening him beyond belief. It could’ve been minutes, it could’ve been hours, your eyes pointed to the latest painting he had acquired decorating the blank wall. He looked away from you after a while, taking in the abstract as well, letting the rusty hues embrace him, comfort him like they did the day he ran across them at a gallery. But the smoky haze around the rust pounced on him, coloring his thoughts with fear he hadn’t seen in the artwork before, the fear of the inevitable, the fear of the inescapable. It clouded his lungs, making them heavier with each breath, stepping on his trachea, until suddenly you were moving, leaving his hand and reaching for the laptop on the coffee table in front of you, typing away.
“What are you doing?” he whispered, scared that if he spoke any louder you would shatter, or shatter him. He wasn’t sure which one he preferred.
“Setting up an appointment. Need to confirm with the gynaecologist,” you replied curtly, face vacant of any emotion, eyes scrolling the screen, searching.
“Oh… yeah of course. Yeah,” he murmured, trying to gather all his patience till it ran away from him and he was turning towards you fully, a leg coming up to rest against the cushions and hands moving to your shoulders. He traced your cheek with a finger, wanting you to let him into your head, searching your eyes that looked at him listlessly. Mustering a smile, he tried to reassure you, “But hey listen. We’ll be okay. It’s us. We can do this.”
“Namjoon. We’re not having a baby,” you said, firm and final. You didn’t want to fantasise about maybes, you needed solutions, a way to fix what might destroy your life, and for a moment, you didn’t care what Namjoon thought. He would be okay. You would make him understand eventually.
“What?” His voice was sharp, cracking through the silence, hands falling away from you, face tightening into the hard lines you rarely saw. And somehow you felt angry. You knew he wanted kids, he had always wanted kids, cuddling you in bed and waxing poetic about someone you’d both create, but he had to realise it was too soon.
“We’re not ready! Think about it. We’ve barely been together for two years! Having a baby right now is insane,” you ranted, tossing your laptop back on the coffee table just so you could look at him, make him understand how drastically your life could change. You expected Namjoon to fight, but instead he moved closer, cupping your face between his palms, gazing at you softly.
“What does time have anything to do with it? I love you, you love me. That’s all we need,” he assured. He knew that this was not the plan, he was supposed to give you the ring first, he was supposed to learn how to cook your favourite dish and surprise you on your honeymoon first, he was supposed to buy the house with the large yard that reminded you of your childhood first. But who was he to reject fate when it came knocking on his door?
“The timing isn’t right Joonie. You know it’s not,” you pleaded, tone softened to match his, but you could see the frustration growing within him, the tell tale tightening of his jaw sparking your earlier anger. Anger that ignited at his next words, spitting out of his mouth as he dropped his hands from your cheeks to your shoulders as if trying to shake some sense into you.
“Oh come on Y/N! Why are you acting like we’re sixteen and got pregnant? We’re almost thirty. We’re both financially stable. The timing’s not the issue here.”
“Of course it is! Or do you not remember crying on this fucking couch about your year long tour?” You brushed him off, standing up to give yourself some distance, but he followed suit, coming closer, confusing you with the whiplash of him yelling and then pleading all in one go.
“I’ll get them to move it around!” he insisted, running his hands over his face before he hugged you close, murmuring in your ear, “We’ll figure it out. It’s our baby.”
“It’s not a baby! It’s a collection of cells,” you pushed him off once again, trying your hardest to make him understand the gravity of the situation. Having a baby wasn’t a one time thing, it was something that could change all of your plans, that could change the course of your lives. “You can’t move around the tour! It’s impossible. We can have a baby in the future. It’s just not right.”
“Then I’ll fucking quit! It doesn’t matter. I’d do that for you,” he promised, determined, jaw clenching, fists balled at his sides.
“I don’t want that,” you implored, voice strained, goosebumps running up your spine. “I can’t get pregnant. Harry quit, I need to be in the comp-”
“Fuck the company! It’s our baby,” Namjoon yelled, startling you as he came closer. “If I can quit, so can you. We can still be happy!”
“I can’t quit! Are you insane?” you matched his volume, wanting so badly to knock some sense into him, your fists gripping his shirt at his chest.
“You have majority shares, you’ll be fine,” he promised, holding you, trying to comfort you but he just didn’t understand. How could you prove every misogynist that sat on that board that you were indeed who they predicted, just a woman abandoning her hard work to build a family?
“No,” you said, pushing him away once again, unaware of your strength as he stumbled back, a look of betrayal marring his features. “You can quit, but I can’t.”
“Why?” he protested.
“Because you’re already successful!” you yelled, feeling all the energy sapping out of you with your retort, leaving your knees shaking, your entire body quivering. “You’ve already reached your dreams. I can’t abandon mine. Joonie, please.”
The way you pleaded made his heart shatter, made him fall into a million pieces as he felt his eyes burn, his sinuses clogging with the dissonance of empathy and selfishness, because to Namjoon his dream wasn’t being an idol, it was you and now your unborn child.
“That’s not my dream… not anymore,” he declared softly, head bowed as if you had slapped him and you couldn’t take it anymore, sitting back on the couch to book the appointment.
“Let’s talk about it after the appointment,” you whispered, heart beating against your chest, clawing at it as you ran through contingencies, figuring out where you could get an abortion in a nation that had them criminalized. You knew you were breaking Namjoon, and you hated it, but he didn’t understand what was at stake for you. How many endless nights you had spent working to make a name for yourself, to make something out of nothing but your ideas and relentless grit. How you had faced rejection after rejection before uprooting your life, leaving your family behind, and now you were on the cusp of where you had envisioned yourself in your tiny dorm room so many years ago. How could he expect you to throw it all away? All for some fault in your birth control?
You ignored Namjoon as he sat on the couch next to you, his body as drained as yours, defeat pouring out of every pore. He couldn’t help silently weeping, hoping that you’d change your mind, that you’d suddenly tell him you were joking, wrap him in your arms and tell him congratulations. Then he could laugh, joke with you about scaring the life out of him, kiss you and run to his closet and pull out the ring. But the real joke was that you just sat there long after you had shut the laptop, the distance between you growing.
He hated it. He hated that somehow you felt like a stranger in that moment. He understood you, knew the pressures that threatened to bury you at every moment, but he still couldn’t help wishing that you would listen to him. He wasn’t alone when he fantasised about kids, you were there with him in the nights after he had exhausted your body, holding you warm between the sheets as he talked about the family two of you would create. You would tell him the names you wanted, about how you hoped your child wouldn’t lose the little shoes he had gotten so long ago now.
He wanted to reach out and comfort you, even though you had just broken his heart. It was stupid how you were also the only one who could heal him, reassure him that his dream wasn’t futile, that wanting you, wanting a family wasn’t as far off as it seemed in the moment. But as he gathered the courage, slowly inching his hand closer to yours, you stood up walking to the kitchen, leaving him frozen on the couch.
Cutting the vegetables for a meal always calmed you, but each time the knife hit the cutting board, you felt your heartbeat in your ears, your breaths getting shorter till you were squatting on the floor, head between your knees. You knew you would lose Namjoon, in all this time, there was a niggling thought at the back of your mind that he would wake up and realise that what he thought was love was an infatuation, much like others before him. However, you hadn’t thought of how you would push him away, how you would cut his heart out and present it to him. Your words ran through your head, harsh and selfish as you pictured the man you love getting more and more dejected, tears falling down your cheeks. You tried to compose yourself, control your breathing, remembering to count the rise of your chest. You breathed in for five seconds, letting the air inflate your lungs, holding it for another five, before expelling it out with your doubts.
It didn’t take long for the panic to subside, for your tears to dry – years of practice had that effect, and soon you were standing up once again, trying to dispel the disappointment that washed over you when Namjoon was still sitting in the living room, still staring at the wall like you had left him. You were disappointed in yourself, but you were still firm in your decision. You couldn’t give him what he wanted, not now.
Cooking dinner helped you collect your thoughts, get brave as you called him to the kitchen, yet not brave enough to hold him like you wanted to. Dinner was spent in silence, the tension of the fight lingering in the air like acid, peeling off your skin and leaving it raw. Every moment felt hesitant, laced with anxiety, heavy like gravity had increased tenfold. In bed, the two of you faced away from each other, an ocean between you of worries furrowing your brows and sinking your hearts.
But Namjoon was brave. Or maybe he was too scared to let the argument take roots in the foundation you two had worked hard to build. He could feel it seeping in, trying to lodge its claws in, and so in the silence hanging like tendrils of a willow, he said your name, letting it act as an anchor as he tentatively turned around, his hand reaching out for you, fingers gently grazing your back. When you ignored him, not knowing how to face him after the way you had acted, he tried again, mature and persistent.
“Can I hold you?” he whispered, his index finger poking your back ever so softly. It ached your heart, his timid tone making your lip wobble as you shrugged. He took that as an agreement because you had barely moved your shoulders before his body was around you, long limbs wrapping you in a safe embrace. The breath you released was hallowed, a shaky exhale burning your lungs and stinging your eyes. You grasped his hands tightly in yours, criss crossing your arms around your body and he moved closer, head almost on top of yours, needing to be closer.
“I love you.” His proclamation was comforting, even when his voice was waterlogged and his tears tracked from his cheeks to yours.
“Even if I don’t want this baby?” You needed to know. You didn’t know if you would change your mind. You were in no position to bring a child into the world, not yet. You needed the reassurance that he trusted you, and would wait for you. He was quiet for a moment, more hesitant than he had ever been with you and it made your heart pound beneath your chest, begging for an escape.
“Even if you don’t want this baby,” he confirmed, his nose tracing your cheek and you couldn’t help a tear escape along with a flurry of apologies that he kissed away. Sleep was elusive and his snores never came to comfort you with their lullabies. Lost in your own thoughts you stayed wrapped in each other till the sun was fighting to peep in through your drapes, alerting you that in a few hours you both would have to make the biggest decision in your relationship.
It was quiet in the little hospital room, bright lights and the plants secluded in the corner of the pastel room not bringing any comfort to the two of you as you sat stiffly in the plush chairs behind the large oak desk. The receptionist had quietly escorted you to the room to wait till the doctor was ready, and you were glad that Namjoon had less of a chance of being spotted in a gynaecologist’s office.
He held your hand as you sat together, grip unfaltering even when the nurse came in to draw some blood. He watched over his glasses as you drew in a sharp inhale when the needle pricked through your skin, your fingers around his tightening just a little. He wished he wasn’t in this situation, that time had been kinder and given you the successes you wanted at the same time as him so you felt ready to start a family to truly be with him. But nothing ever went according to plan for him, and even when it did, it didn’t work like he had thought.
He had experienced it in his career. The poetry he used to write in his childhood bedroom on his scattered desk had now transformed into lyrics echoed in strangers’ bedrooms. He had worked harder than anything to ensure that, put his youth as collateral, put his relationships as collateral for his success and he had achieved it. Yet, each moment felt frayed. He never had the opportunity to sit still long enough to actually relish the fruits of his labours to enjoy it before he was working on the next thing, trying to block out the voices that told him he wasn’t good enough. He worked to prove them wrong and when he did, they always relegated his efforts to luck. It was frustrating. This was not how he thought reaching his goals would feel like, bittersweet and fleeting.
It was the same with you sometimes. He never imagined a partner was in the cards for him, never imagined that someone would ever care enough about him to love him despite his flaws, but you had. You showed him that it was okay to break down, to let down his walls, and so he worked hard to ensure he never lost you, read books on how to be the perfect partner, a “female-written male character”. But even with your voice telling him he was enough, he was eager to move onto the next step to prove even further how perfect he could be for you. You didn’t pressure him into, you didn’t need to, he was conditioned to want more, to always want more. He just didn’t think you wouldn’t want more with him.
However, when the doctor walked in, he wished that he could convince you otherwise. Maybe if you could see the bundle of cells the two of you had created together, you could envision the future with him. He held your hand as the doctor talked, barely registering what she was saying because he was too anxious, too impatient for her to do an ultrasound. You wouldn’t want an abortion if you saw it, right? But nothing ever went according to plan for him. There was no ultrasound. The movies he had watched had lied to him. All the doctor did was look at a report on her tablet, smiling sadly.
“So Y/N, I’ve got some bad news,” she began and Namjoon’s heart pounded in panic, a sheen of sweat already appearing on his forehead. Her tone made a chill travel up his spine and he tightened his grip on your fingers, bracing himself. “Unfortunately, you are not pregnant.”
He knew he should’ve been relieved, just like you seemed to be, your shoulders relaxing and a breath escaping your lips, but his throat ran dry, all the moisture seeming to deposit into his eyes. You smiled at him and he reciprocated, happy to see you happy. He had to be happy, right? There was no reason to mourn something that was never there, but with every question you asked the doctor, he felt more helpless. Folding his hands in his lap, he stared at them solemnly. Apparently pregnancy tests could be wrong if they’re expired. He didn’t even know they had an expiration date, but then again did he know anything at all?
Turns out he didn’t even know you, feeling irrationally annoyed at the sudden pep in your step as the two of you made your way to the car. You were already on the phone scheduling something or the other with Siwon, oblivious to the tears in his eyes as he stared at the passing blur of the streets.
“Joon?” your voice broke him from his thoughts and he cleared his throat, humming in response. “You okay?”
He should’ve told you the truth, enlightened you to the flurry in his head, but when he turned to you, you seemed so relaxed, so happy that he didn’t have the courage to dampen the bright smile on your face. So he lied, “Yeah. I’m okay. You?”
You didn’t believe him. Somehow in your relief you had failed to notice how closed off your boyfriend had become. Sequestered in the corner, he seemed impossibly small in the seat, his shoulders hunched, his hands resting in between his joined knees. He seemed to be almost closing in on himself. You thought he would be relieved too, relieved that you didn’t have to make a monumental decision, that you didn’t have to change the trajectory of your relationship over a mistake, but his dejected aura made you forget about your earlier joy, your arms wrapping around him.
You were almost afraid he wouldn’t reciprocate your gesture but soon his arms were wrapping around you too, his face buried in your hair as he inhaled deeply. It was as if the edge of last night’s fight was still there, threatening to pop the bubble the two of you had created in the backseat of the car, but you were stubborn, holding him tighter and refusing to let the agony manifest again.
“We’ll be okay,” assured him as he straightened, his tired eyes staring at you.
“We’ll be okay,” he promised, a hand cupping your face before his lips met yours, gentle and loving.
hello! i don’t know what to call this other than to appreciate this author.
i love this author and i don’t think i have ever said why? sure there’s romance, fluff, smuts galore, but most importantly real issues are discussed. and i have found myself crying more than anything else when i’m reading stories from this author. Of Boogers and Tteokbokki - God! the assumption drawn in this story that led to misunderstanding and hurt and separation! im a mom so feel the female character’s desire to keep her baby. iknow that even confronted with a possibility of having a child with Down Syndrome, i would have chosen to push through with it. Call of Duty - my goodness, i cannot imagine what every wife, husband, father, mother, daughter, son goes through when they are told that their loved one in uniform is missing or that something has happened to them. how it feels to send them off while thinking at the back of your mind if this will be the last you will see them. shhhh… you know the pic in this story? yes, that’s my lock screen image… BEAR and SPARROW - i have read countless stories of people escaping their own country via illegal means, have watch multiple documentary and its heart breaking… i hav eto be honest that i stopped reading after chapter 3, so scared that the author will take the route of realism and have Sparrow die in the hands of police and get lost in the sea of missing immigrants… i have not found the courage to continue reading this… Road to Redemption - this one hit hard, so damn hard!!! i cried a river. it hit home, so very very very close to home. the plates in the sink, check! socks not in the hamper but in the fucking dining chair, check! the procrastination, hell check!!! and what really hurts, is when he tells you - “chill, will you relax??? i will take care of it” only to wake up the following morning with the same plates in the sink, the same sock in the dining chair, the multiple to do’s that should have been done last week. Stay - your latest story made my chest hurts so bad. i didn’t get my road to redemption (if u know what i mean), but i am so blessed to be surrounded by such a strong support system that never ever have i come close to succumbing to depression. all i know is that, its not easy to cry for help, coz its hard to swim to the surface and its pitch black below. i love you @sahmfanficbts, your stories ground me. it tells me that i am not alone in what i go through. i don’t know how to give back to content creator/writers like you, except to shout out to whoever follows me that you guys are the best out there!
Creative Content Contributor:@baebae-goodnight (her mood boards are amazing - like all the damn time)
Rating: M - explicit sex, cursing, drinking
Word Count: 6k
Summary: Married by obligation, weighed down by circumstance. Except for those nights when you’re both drunk, falling into bed with one another and realizing you’re human. Occasionally this happens, occasionally you fuck. Until your life changes and you realize Namjoon, the very man you’re obligated to, might just be the very man that you crave.
☝this right here, is the story why i am here in tumblr. I stumbled upon Fal in WP but i always have a feeling that there’s more content from her (and eventually Shanna, too)…
i love this story so much!!! 6K words that tells you the story of 2 complete strangers, who made a conscious decision to choose each other inspite being force to a marriage. the whole story is so emotional for me coz its shows me how they feel, what goes on into their head… from both their POVs. i don’t have the proper words to describe how this story affects me. in just 6K i felt such longing, want, jealousy, frustration, love & desire to be there for someone. the story is so direct & straight forward that sometime it left me dizzy but at the same time i truly i understand how the 2 characters feel.
its impact is so great that after more than a year of being Fal’s follower, this story has become a sort of comfort story for me - the one i read after a bad day & im finally in my bed. the kind of story that i go to when i dont want to start a new story but would still like to read something.
Alice in the Madness of Wonderland: The Stygian Fairytale | Walkthrough
↳ Banner and dividers made by @kim-seok-jin. Thank you^^.
✉Titles:
➝Alice in the Madness of Wonderland: The Stygian Fairytale
➝Stygian (the madness corrupts me, and you, my saviour)
Though Alice ‘Y/N’ Liddell is overshadowed, and she doesn’t seem to think much of it, she yearns for a world which notices her- gives her a chance- a part of her wanting for a turn to be on the pedestal. But of course, nothing can change that-
Or can it?
One chance encounter with a boy with bunny ears and a strange hole, and she arrives at the world of Wonderland- a world of magic, mystery and madness. Protecting her life is one thing, but-
What more when everyone seems determined to capture her heart?
➠ Genres: Angst, fantasy, alice in wonderland!au, reverse harem, isekai (teleported to a fantasy world), mystery
➠ Overall Rating: PG-18
➠ Warnings: Violence, suicide, comatose, disturbing scenes, weapons, fights, yandere, insanity, mental illnesses, torture, massacre, serial killers, violent riots, executions, murders, large amount of people die, stalking, people lead other people on, threats, madness (but it’s wonderland so), tea parties and the white rabbit
✉ Beta-player [a.k.a. me, blog writer and walkthrough maker!] comments:
Several crashes may occur while playing the game, as the developers told me. This is still a beta version of the game, after all! The game also contains a lot of violence… hrmm, well, you’ll see for yourself. I’ve been told not to give too many spoilers, but the developers hinted to me that as the player, we have a special power!
If you complete a route, you don’t have to continue to the next one. You can pick whichever route you’re on and make it your true end. When that option pops out in the game, and you pick yes, Wonderland will close, and Alice and her suitor will be able to leave! It’s our choices while reading that matter!
Or… at least that’s what they said. Still, I’d warn you guys to be careful in choosing! This game is tricky, and it has several bad ends too… ah, I shouldn’t spoil anymore. This is an online game, so I put the links below if you want to play the beta version too! Careful though~ It links straight to the prologue, so for any players replaying, just choose the route after!
Oh, and one last thing- though all of the main cast are dateable characters; it’s of course, only one character per route though… or is it? Hehehe!
If you go through all routes, you might get a secret ending! Bonus scenes! So complete the full game when it comes out, okay?
No, the developers totally didn’t ask me to say all that to promote the game~
Have fun playing, and I hope this walkthrough helps you!
“J-joon” you moaned loudly as another wave of pleasure hit your body causing you to see stars while Namjoonsmirked looking at your weak body helplessly squirming under him. He groaned when you clenched around him tightly causing him to thrust inside you hard “fuck babygirl how are you still so fucking tight?” He grunted when your nails scratched his back leaving red marks but he didn’t give a damn about. You whined looking at him with half closed eyes and pulled him down to a messy kiss. Your tongue and teeth clashed before you pulled back and attacked your lips to his neck sucking harshly causing him to growl and fuck into you deeper and a cry of his name escaped your lips “d-daddy!” He groaned and suddenly pulled out but before you could even whimper at the sudden emptiness, he turned you around making you lay on your stomach with your ass up in the air. You both moaned in sync as he entered inside your even tighter asshole. The new angle giving him much more access to every part of your warm and plush ass hole. Your face was squished against the pillow and a line of drool was seen too but you could care less when your fiancee was literally fucking you into the mattress. “Yeah? You like that? Fuck baby i shouldn’t even let you cum with the way you were teasing me the whole night. Were you that desperate for my cock? Fucking slut” you moaned shamelessly nodding as you became a babbling mess “y-yes daddy! Like your cock so much” you cried out as the coil forming in your stomach snapped and you came without a warning causing namjoon to groan “you are so fucking beautiful. Bet you will look more beautiful with my seed right? ” you nodded immediately and he chuckled darkly “makes me want to fuck a child inside you. Would look so fucking pretty round with my kid” “y-yes! Want your seed joon” you gasped when he shooted his load of heavy cum inside you with a low moan of your name. Before he fell besides you breathing heavily. After a few minutes of just heavy breathing he asked “ tomorrow is your day off right?” “Yeah why?” You mumbled feeling your eyes getting heavier which widened when he suddenly flipped you around and hovered above you with a smirk “then let’s put all those baby shoes to use babygirl ” you moaned at his words and your hand went to stroke his already hard cock.
