Warnings - Not literal Infidelity, but they are on the verge of it. Mentions of alcohol abuse, Mentions of Self harm. (There are no heavy triggers, only slight mentions of it.) The warnings are limited to the first few chapters. It gets better i promise)
Summary - Love is indeed a beautiful feeling, but does not come without its obstacles. When your 7 loving, idol boyfriends think it’s better to date someone within the industry or like they put it “Someone who knows their world”, you have no choice but to accept their abrupt decision. Time goes by and you think you’re doing just fine, One long lost dream, One given up identity and one drunk mistake and a few clicks is all it takes until the limelight falls on you and living your life behind a camera is an option no longer available.
↳ your protector ; a bts knight series coming soon
summary:you are a princess, next in line to the throne. with that responsibility comes danger and to protect you have your devoted knight. the only problem is the feelings you have for him.
a/n: inspiration hit me out of nowhere and i decided i’m obsessed with the knight/princess trope so enjoy all these scenarios i thought of.
kim namjoon;untitled;0.0k+ ; after an assassination attempt on you, the princess, the king decides to have a decoy take your place until the culprit is stopped. this leaves you in close quarters with your knight as you hid away living amongst commoners. having to pretend to be married for your cover story only exasperates the hidden feelings you have for your knight.
kim seokjin ;untitled;0.0k+; after your knight retires you get a replacement. a long war has recently ended leaving the land in peace, leaving many knights without any assignments. kim seokjin, a great war veteran is assigned as your new knight and he is not happy. his new assignment feels more like baby sitting than something worthy of a knight. will the two of you ever get along?
min yoongi;untitled;0.0k+ ; after the murder of your family and many of your close loved ones you are left next in line to the throne. the only thing is you have to wait until your next birthday. until then your uncle is in charge. he assigns you a new knight after the loss of your old one. you are bitter and upset and hate the thought of a new knight. but maybe he isn’t so bad after all?
jung hoseok ;untitled;0.0k+ ; you are in love with your knight but you’ve never said it out loud. after he leaves on a new assignment you scheme to run away to see him.
park jimin;untitled;0.0k+ ; you have been best friends with jimin as long as you’ve been alive. you’ve seen him through his training and had him at your side as your knight. but as turmoil moves through the kingdom he’s sent away to protect the people, leaving you worrying for him.
kim taehyung ;untitled;0.0k+ ; when a ball for suitors to approach you for your hand in marriage approaches you notice that your knight, taehyung, is starting to act weird. can you get to the bottom of the issue?
jeon jungkook;untitled;0.0k+ ; you have been in a secret relationship with your knight for some time. jungkook realized for you to have a future and for the better of the kingdom you need to move on from him. he breaks things off and leaves on a new assignment.
➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.
↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader
↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut
There is nothing that Namjoon despises more than waking up to a warm morning with vicious throbbing happening inside his head.
The ache feels so potent that he can hear the sound of each throb echoing against his temple. He can even feel it all the way to his toes, feel how the world seems to move with it even when he is still lying in bed, unmoving. The kind of feeling that is completely unwelcome that he dreads opening his eyes.
He may not have always been a morning person, but Namjoon isn’t someone who would find himself in this predicament during a regular weekday, jeopardising what should have been a normally productive day for him. For years, Namjoon has maintained an image of himself where he is in complete control of his own self and need, always knows how to keep his composure in any given situation possible.
And yet, for the first time, he finds himself breaking all the rules and habits that he has created for himself. He can feel that contentment and control slipping out of his fingers only because he gave in to his sorrow. Even his body feels as if it is no longer his own, when every move he makes becomes a struggle and whatever he does only escalates it further.
Fucking hangover.
The entire room seems to tilt over whenever he tries to get up, while the spinning still doesn’t stop even when he closes his eyes to put everything to a halt, just like how he feels his world tilting and spinning in all directions. And it has been this way ever since the night he saw you at Bovine.
When his headache becomes too much, Namjoon gives up on trying and falls back on the bed. So far, his memory is a bit fuzzy and unclear. But as the pulsing headache slowly becomes numb, and just when he is not forcing himself to remember, they simply return to him, random bits and pieces of what had happened—starting from the night before to all day yesterday and then ending on the events unfolding just last night—come flooding back to him.
He remembers coming home late from the studio two nights ago, pissed at himself and feeling incredibly frustrated after his encounter with Jungkook that he decided to grab a bottle of liquor to soothe his uneasiness and wash down the aggravation that followed him home. Things didn’t turn better the next day, when he heard nothing from Jungkook and after he found out that his friend didn’t even make it to work.
Feeling lost, and distraught, thinking that Jungkook might have decided to spend the day with you to salvage and find some reassurance in his relationship with you, Namjoon spent the entire day being holed up inside his home, wallowing in his misery with the collection of liquors that he had kept in his home. He must have passed out or fallen asleep at some point because the next thing he realised, he had lost an entire day as it went past him. It was a miracle that he didn’t poison himself with all that alcohol, though he did remember stopping once in a while and the short naps he had in between helped him sober up each time. And yet even as time went by, even after all the effort that he had done to wash everything away with those liquors, the unsettling feeling inside his chest still lingered, as if it had been rooted so deeply inside him ever since the moment he had the talk with Jungkook.
It was sometime around sundown when he was awakened from another nap by the quick call that his assistant made to him from the lobby, notifying him about a guest who had come asking for him. The nap did so little to sober him up, and yet he made it to reach the front door, even with a few struggles as he tried not to stumble or fall over the coffee table on his way there.
The urgency of the phone call and how his assistant had stressed that he needed to hurry made him think that perhaps there was an emergency, something so urgent that he needed to deal with that nobody else could. He clearly was not expecting to find that the surprise guest that his assistant had sent to his door would be you.
It had taken him quite some time to process what he was seeing. At first, he had thought that he was dreaming when he saw you standing right outside of his home not too long after he was mulling over his situation with you. But then you charged at him, shoving him in anger and the pain he felt in his chest was enough to let him know that it was real. And he took every single thing you were throwing at him—every punch you gave to his chest and every word you screamed at him—so willingly. Because even in his haze, he still knew that he was responsible for everything that was happening.
That he was the reason why you were here.
And then you broke down right in front of him, and he nearly fell down with you when seeing you in that state had made him feel weak. Even now, as he is struggling to recover from his hangover, the dread that he felt from that moment still lingers inside him.
Once he feels steady enough to sit up, Namjoon leans back against the headrest, rubbing his palm across his bare chest as he can still feel the ghost of your touch that he had gotten from the moment you pushed him away and the fading warmth that he felt when he took you in his arms. The pain that you had inflicted on him was nothing compared to what he is feeling inside, though he knows now that he was also far too numb to feel anything last night compared to how raw he is feeling everything now.
But does he have a right to complain when he knows that you might be feeling more pain after what had happened? When what you had experienced had been too unbearable for you to deal with that not even his touch or his embrace had been enough to fix you.
That was why he had accepted everything that you gave him. Because he understood. And he took you in his arms because he understood how much you needed someone to hold you up and keep you from falling. Even if he couldn’t erase your pain, he knew that he had to offer you what he could give you then.
Although it doesn’t exactly justify what he did next.
It is the feeling of rage and disappointment that he has in himself that forces him to get up and leave his bed. He wastes no time and quickly freshens up, getting himself ready to face the repercussions as he marches out of his bedroom with the constant throbbing in his head accompanying every step he makes.
As he trots down his empty and silent home to reach the kitchen, Namjoon’s eyes linger on the locked door of the guest bedroom, the only other room in his penthouse that has rarely been used. Knowing what is waiting from the other side of the bedroom door gives him a sense of longing, even if he knows that he doesn’t deserve to even hope that something good may happen. Looking away from the room, his gaze falls on the foyer instead, right at the corner where he held you tight last night in his arms, holding you as an anchor that kept you from falling apart.
When he closes his eyes, he can still sense everything from that moment. Your warmth, the scent of your shampoo, the way you fit perfectly in his arms and how right it felt when you laid your head on his shoulder. That moment had been short, and yet it was still enough to make him feel complete. He felt as if his soul was awakened then, as if there had been a huge hole inside him that he kept carrying with him for years and you had managed to fill it so easily just by falling into his arms.
He had welcomed that feeling, just as he had welcomed his punishment from you. And he still remembers promising himself not to let you go, that he would always hold you up the same way, that he would never take any of it for granted just as long as he could keep you in his arms for as long as he could.
If only he didn’t royally fuck up right after, and let every chance of making it happen to slip away from his hands almost too soon.
Tormented by his guilt, Namjoon becomes determined to make things right. But first, he needs to make sure that he would do it while sober and that he would do everything the right way. While he has the coffee brewing on the kitchen counter, he picks up the phone and contacts the staff to take that first step of redeeming himself.
“Yes, sir?”
Namjoon clears his throat and keeps his voice low when he responds to his assistant. “Can you have the cook send out a complete breakfast set to my loft, please?”
“Anything specific, sir?”
Thinking and talking only worsen the ache lingering in his head. Closing his eyes, he presses his fingers on the bridge of his nose to try and stop his headache from rapidly increasing. “Nothing—just get me today’s special and some fresh fruit,” he says before quickly adding, “Make that two sets of everything.”
A movement catches his attention just as he ends the phone call, and he looks over to the guest bedroom and finds you standing in the doorway, looking like a deer caught in a headlight with your eyes looking around warily and your fingers fidgeting, as if you need to hold onto something to stop yourself from falling down again.
But what has his chest grow tight is the sight of you wearing his t-shirt, how it seems to be hanging loose on your body and its hem falling on your thighs. And he cannot deny how good it makes him feel to see you wearing something of his. The possessiveness that is building up inside him is driving him crazy, even more than how alcohol had driven his sanity to nothing but an intangible mess when he was supposed to be in control, even if it was only to offer support when you had most needed one.
His heartbeat starts pacing rapidly as he looks at your face and catches your eyes looking back at him, and more images from last night come rushing back to him. Not only for the comfortable warmth that he felt when he was holding you, but also for the cold realisation of how hurtful his actions had been to you last night.
“Perhaps it is a good thing that he is gone. Have you forgotten? You were supposed to be mine. Always have been.”
The dick comment that came out of his mouth makes him wince when he remembers ever voicing it out loud. He should have been consoling you instead of being a jackass about it and acted as if he was celebrating while you were in pain.
Namjoon would never be able to forget your reaction that came right after he said those things to you—the crestfallen look that took up your entire face, the pain in your eyes that became clear to him when they widened in shock after hearing his words, and how you pulled back so quickly, leaving Namjoon feeling mesmerised and too stunned to notice what you were about to do until it was too late. He didn’t realise what was happening until your palm landed right on his cheek and the sound of the loud slap you had landed on his face echoed through the foyer. He didn’t realise what had happened until his skin stung and the horrified gasp you made snapped him out of his shock.
Just as he recounts that very moment, his hand comes up to his cheek, touching the numbing pain on his skin. He is not entirely sure which one hurts the most—the slap of your palm that seems to linger or the constricting pain inside his chest that keeps rising and building when he tried to imagine what you were feeling then. But then everything comes to a halt once he looks at you again, the sight of you being engulfed in his oversized shirt and the knowledge that you had slept on his bed seems to calm his restless soul.
You clear your throat, looking flustered as you avoid his gaze while you remain standing there. “I think I should go…,” you murmur softly with a hoarse voice. “I know that I’ve overstayed my welcome. I shouldn’t have stayed anyway.”
“I was the one who offered. I couldn’t let you leave in the state that you were in last night,” Namjoon quickly says, wincing when he remembers how that night had ended. How right after you slapped him and while he was stunned into silence, you had somehow realised that he had been drunk when he opened the door for you, and how it pushed you to go around his kitchen and living room to find the missing bottle of liquor that he had left behind. His chest tightens when he recalls how you had then grabbed the bottle and started drinking your pain away, and how he couldn’t stop himself when—
Clearing his throat, Namjoon shakes the thoughts away and forces a smile. “And I don’t believe you are ready to go either. Why don’t you stay a bit longer and take your time until you settle down? At least stay for coffee and join me for breakfast. Maybe we can start all over and then later on, if you’d let me, I can lend my ear to listen or my shoulder to cry on if you want to.”
You open your mouth—ready to refuse him, no doubt—but stop yourself when you look conflicted. Knowing that you are at least considering it, Namjoon jumps at the chance and asks again,
“Please. It’s the least that I could do,” he says, quickly biting on his tongue to stop himself from saying, ’—after acting like such a schmuck to you last night.’
“We haven’t had a chance to talk either, have we? For us to talk properly, I mean, and without yelling at each other and while we are both sober,” he adds later on, drawing a smile to your face when you seem to realise that he is right. Namjoon’s lips turn to a wry smile when he realises that he had wasted the last few chances he had to talk to you before, how it had always ended with the both of you yelling hurtful things to each other instead of trying to figure out how to deal with the situation.
“Okay,” you whisper after a moment of silence, much to his relief, though he is still surprised that you would agree with him. Your gaze flickers toward the coffee machine as you sigh, before you meet his gaze again. “But I should probably freshen up real quick. Would you mind if I use the shower?” you ask him as you tilt your head towards the en-suite bathroom inside the room you had been sleeping in.
“By all means, help yourself,” Namjoon says with a genuine smile on his face, trying his best to hold back from adding—
Everything in this place will also be yours anyway. All of it.
It took you about 30 minutes to finish washing up.
Though it might have been more. You just know that you have lost track of time as you indulged in the luxury that the marvellous hot shower inside Namjoon’s en-suite bathroom had provided you.
It had not been your intention to stay that long in the shower, but after spending the first five minutes admiring his spacious guest bathroom and its entire fancy setup, it took you another five minutes filled with a lengthy pep talk about how much you deserved to enjoy this moment after what you have gone through before you could finally step into the shower. And you were soon filled with relief that you had talked yourself into taking it when you realised how good it felt as the hot water came running down your body. It almost felt like everything was being washed away—your fear, your pain, whatever was left from last night’s debacle—while the falling water felt more like magical fingers massaging your tense muscles until you could slowly relax. It had been too good and it felt like such a waste to step out early that you stayed longer than you should have, and you had only left when the hot water seemed to cool down and once your stomach began to protest, begging for breakfast.
After coming here completely on impulse and without carrying any personal belongings other than your small purse, you had worried about not having anything to change into. You can only sigh in defeat at the thought of the clothes that you were wearing yesterday turning into a complete mess after spilling some alcohol on yourself at some point following your impulsive act of barging into his home—hence why Namjoon had let you wear his t-shirt when it was somehow decided that you were staying for the night.
You had settled to the thought of wearing your dirty clothes again after your relaxing shower, telling yourself that you would only need to wear them on your way home anyway. But as you step out of the bathroom, wrapped in a fuzzy towel that you had found in the vanity earlier, you are surprised to find a pair of grey sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt left on the bed for you.
Taking no time to dress up, you bite down the smile that keeps trying to sneak its way to your face from thinking about how thoughtful he turns out to be. It feels like a complete turnaround after seeing the side of him that he had shown you last night, knowing that he cares enough to figure out about these things before you could.
The lavish breakfast setup and the scent of freshly brewed coffee welcome you when you walk out of the bedroom. For some reason, they bring some sense of warmth into Namjoon’s home, when all you had felt ever since you walked into this place has been nothing but hollowness. The place had seemed cold and so unfamiliar that it took you a lot of effort to feel comfortable when you laid to sleep last night. Seeing the vacant dining seats, you turn to find him standing all the way in the living room, looking out the massive window to watch over the city as it comes to life.
“This is a lot. Were you trying to feed an army?” you comment loudly before you can stop it, gaining his attention as he turns away from the window to look at you. The moment you meet his gaze, the smile on your face just comes to rise so easily, much to your surprise. And his, judging from the way he blinks rapidly as if he cannot believe what he is seeing. “Thank you for the clothes, by the way. I was already preparing myself to get through the day with the same clothes I was wearing yesterday.”
Namjoon smiles and shakes his head. “I thought you’d want something more comfortable to wear to make you feel better after that shower,” he says while making his way to you. The movement seems so natural that it almost feels like he is used to doing this—that he is used to having you here in his home. But Namjoon is quick to catch himself before getting too close, swiftly stopping and going around the table, taking the seat across from the one you are standing close to and putting the necessary distance between the two of you. “Come sit and eat with me.”
For a moment, you still feel hesitant to take his offer. Sitting here at the dining table with him seems too intimate, too soon, and too confusing. But there is something in his presence and in his words that seem to compel you into moving, eliminating every excuse that you could think of to escape as you easily slip into the empty chair right across from him without so much of a word.
The breakfast starts with silence, and for some reason, it feels oddly comfortable rather than it is being awkward to share this moment with him even when you barely know him. Things continue this way until Namjoon clears his throat and speaks first. “I want to apologise,” he starts, stopping briefly until you pay attention to him so he can continue, “I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, that was wrong of me. I won’t even justify my condition as it happened. I was drunk and caught off guard with the situation, but none of those things should give me the excuse to be an asshole.”
Your lips curl up to a small smile before you can stop yourself. “So you do realise that you were being an asshole?”
Namjoon scoffs in response to your teasing, though his shoulders sag in relief somewhat when you merely joke about it instead of yelling at him like how he seemed to have expected you to. “It’s quite hard not to,” he says with a shrug while giving you a remorseful smile that seems genuine. “I shouldn’t have said such a thing when you were going through so much already. Your life had changed irrevocably in the span of, what—hours?—after years of living in the stability which you had built with Jungkook as a huge part of your life. While it sucks for me to think about it, I understood. And it was way out of line for me to say such a thing when what you needed was someone to hold you up while you were falling.”
Once again, you are stunned speechless. His apology was something that you had expected to hear, but you had initially thought that he would simply say “I’m sorry” and then be done with it. And yet here he is, giving you such a lengthy apology and looking so terribly sincere with every word he says that you feel warmth blooming in your chest. There is also something else tugging within you as he was speaking, something that has your heart pumping and coming alive.
“You’re forgiven. For now,” you whisper to him as you return his gaze. With a sigh, you shake your head and murmur softly, “It must’ve been a shock to you when I came here unannounced, and to top it all, I created a scene—” you stop for a moment and your gaze flicker towards the living room, where the ‘scene’ from last night had happened. You wince when you remember how unruly your behaviour had been and add, “—and made a whole mess at your home when you probably wanted to have some alone time. And for that, I owe you an apology too.”
Instead of taking it, Namjoon only shakes his head. “There is no need for that. You were frustrated and needed someone to yell at. Someone you could put the blame on for everything that had gone down and I had been the most eligible bastard who deserved it, so I’m not going to blame you to take that opportunity when you could,” he says with a smile, drawing a chuckle out of you. But then he lowers his gaze, and the look that he is giving you is filled with concern as he watches you from under his eyelids. “Not to mention—it wouldn’t be fair for you to deal with this on your own when I have just as much part in this as you are.”
With his words reminding you of what had happened, the pain returns inside your chest, and you swallow hard to stop it from becoming stronger before it takes away your calm just when you finally start feeling better. Saying nothing about it, you lower your head and nod. “I didn’t know where I should run to,” you whisper, admitting how lost you had felt when Jungkook left. “And you were right, the moment I found out that Jungkook had learned everything from you, I acted out of instinct and rushed out here to—”
You look up at him just then, finding him lifting his eyebrows when you fail to finish your sentence. “To do what?” he asks, speaking softly and teasingly at the same time. “To punish me? To punch my face and release your anger?”
“All of the above, I suppose,” you answer him, allowing a shy grin to take over your face when he simply does the same. Although the grin quickly fades when your gaze falls onto his cheek, seeing the slightly pinkish shade on his skin which seems to take its time to fade and feeling the tingle on your palm that returns when you remember what you had done.
“I’m sorry, though. For assaulting you last night,” you start to apologise. Your cheeks are beginning to feel warm when you think about how reckless you had been, but you disguise it when you lift your hand and point it at him. “You know, the uhm—” you say to him, stopping to wave a hand at his cheek. “I’m sorry for slapping you.”
Namjoon laughs. “I already told you, I deserved it,” he says with a dimpled smile that has your heartbeat going so fast it nearly takes your breath away with it.
Your gazes lock to one another for a brief moment, and the air around you seems to sizzle. It prickles on your skin and makes your cheeks grow hot that you instantly look away to cease whatever it is that seems to be building between you. It is the connection, your conscience continues to remind you, but you deny it by simply ignoring it, refusing to acknowledge it for the sake of keeping it from becoming real. Thankfully, Namjoon no longer pays attention to you since the moment you severed that connection, already has his eyes on his phone as he continues to finish his simple meal, unaware that you now have your eyes on him again.
Your eyes linger on his face for a moment, silently taking him in while you have the chance to. The memory you have had of him from college and the pictures you have seen over the past few years have done no justice to what you are seeing up close. If you had thought that Jungkook is a perfect specimen of a human being, then Namjoon is—well, a different kind of perfect. While you have no intention of comparing him with your missing fiancé, there is no helping it when you keep seeing Jungkook’s face inside your head while you have your gaze on this man.
The one thing that you love about Jungkook is the soft features he has on his face even when his body is all firm and strong, but with Namjoon, everything about him is all hard, and all male. From the sharp lines on his face to his hard chest—you still remember how he felt under your palms when he pressed you against him—and his strong arms that made you feel small when he held you in his embrace.
As much as you hate to admit it, there is simply no way that you could possibly deny the attraction that is slowly beginning to sink in before you ever had the chance to realise it. When did it happen? Was it an instant pull, right when the soulmate bond snapped into place the night Namjoon’s mark appeared on his wrist? Or did it happen last night, right after you unleashed your anger on him and then you—
Your gaze trails down to find his lips, and almost instinctively the tingles start appearing on your lips just as you are once again taken back to last night, when in the middle of your frenzy, right when your mind was still clouded in the thick haze of your heartbreak and while you were slowly losing all control against the soulmate pull that your body simply—gave in. Right at that moment, you close your eyes, hoping that it would be enough to erase the flashing image of what happened in your blunder, only to feel your stomach dip when you fail and the memory returns.
Why did I have to kiss him?
You reach up and press your fingers on your lips, hoping to wipe the sensation away. But even as you try to do it by brushing your fingers across your lips, you can still feel it coming back to you each time the memory returns, and every single time it happens, your chest tightens with guilt.
It wasn’t that the kiss had been intended. Your emotions had been completely out of control, and the strong alcohol that you had drunk in the desperate need of erasing your pain must have clouded your judgement. You faintly remember Namjoon rushing to stop you from finishing his bottle, yet it only caused your rage to rise further, and you pushed him away while calling him names and accusing him to be petty and selfish for not wanting to share his drink. And when he finally caught your arm and glared at you to reprimand you, when the shove you gave against his chest wasn’t strong enough to draw him away, you ended up grabbing him by his collars and pulled him down until you could press your lips on his.
The kiss was meant to be brief, just something to shut him up because half of your mind had been thinking of smacking his lips with your palm and it was almost as if your body simply decided that using your lips would be a better idea. Clearly, your mind had already short-circuited just then to react so impulsively before you even realised what you were doing.
Despite the numbness and everything about last night that had become nothing but blurry fragments of moments, you still remember everything about the kiss. You still remember how his body stiffened when you reached out and pulled him down and how he was unmoving for a moment when you pressed your lips on his. You still remember how soft and tender his lips had felt when he began to reciprocate and pressed them against yours instead of pulling away, how he took over and seized control until your head spun with delight.
And you cannot deny the fact that your body came alight upon contact and how the tingles kept rising in the heat of the kiss, how it felt just as intoxicating as the drinks that you stole from him that you kept leaning in when he started to deepen the kiss, allowing his tongue to slip in while his hands pulled you closer to him. But the worse part of it all is the fact that instead of pushing him away, you simply relished the way your whole body was burning from the inside and out.
Thinking about it now makes your cheeks burn and your body heats up once more, but you shake it away. You had tried to convince yourself that it would be better for you to forget that it ever happened and move on. But now that he had put everything out in the open, after both of you had been so willing to own up to your mistakes, that decision simply flies out the window and you give in to the guilt that you are feeling inside.
Lowering your head to hide your burning face, you murmur to him, “Then I’m sorry for kissing you. That was—for the lack of a better word, completely inappropriate.” Unsurprisingly, hearing this only makes his smile grow wider, the dimples on his cheeks deepen when he chuckles so pleasingly as if he enjoys seeing you so flustered.
“I’m honestly not too sorry about it,” he softly says, and you almost swear that your heart nearly jumps out of your chest, most specifically when he slowly lifts his intense gaze to yours. You try to act like his words have no effect on you, but you doubt that you can hide it well when a grin comes onto his face. “But all is forgiven. Neither of us had been in our right minds when it happened.”
His words should be giving you some sense of relief, and yet again, your body reacts differently, when a rush of warmth engulfs you. It makes it even harder to deny it when both his words and the way he is looking at you are making you feel—wanted,even if you know that it is only coming from the bond you have between you and nothing else.
Nothing like what you share with Jungkook.
You say nothing to respond to his words, then simply turn away to enjoy your coffee so you would stop getting drawn to his intense gaze. “I don’t remember seeing you cook and there is no traces left in the kitchen showing me that you prepared breakfast while I was in the shower. Except for the coffee. Do you have staff helping you with all of this?” you ask him once another moment of silence settles in, choosing to change the topic just so you can stop thinking about the kiss again, which happens whenever your mind is idle.
Namjoon smiles bashfully. “I do. The staff belongs to the exclusive floors in this building, though. My boss, the benefactor behind the recording company, owns this building, and the staff is always on standby just in case we need anything. They always send me breakfast in the morning. All I had to do was ask for some extra portions so I can have you join me this morning.”
“You must have done it often, haven’t you? Invite someone to stay the night, feed them with lavish breakfast in the morning to woo them—” You have no idea where this thought had come from or what you are trying to accomplish by saying them out loud. And you certainly have not expected to feel a pang of jealousy for picturing all those women he had taken photos with sitting on this very same table with him, possibly in a more intimate way. You clutch onto your cold glass of water to stop yourself from pressing your palm onto your chest, right where the sting is coming from, though the feeling is quick to be replaced with guilt.
Because if knowing that he had shared his life with others before hurts you, even knowing that all he had gone through had been nothing more but short term relationships or flings, then how had he felt when he had to watch you with Jungkook?
“You may not believe me,” Namjoon speaks after clearing his throat, and you lift your eyes to find him looking straight at you so intensely that it makes you shudder in your seat. “But I’ve never invited anyone to stay the night here, or have the staff cook for them. Except for my family, of course.”
“Really? Not even your past girlfriends?”
You immediately regret asking him this when a spark of mirth comes to his eyes. When he seems intrigued at the fact that you are asking him about his past love life.
“How did you know that I’ve been with anyone else before?”
Gritting your teeth, you bite back the response that might end up with you confessing to him that you have been keeping up with his life over the past few years. It didn’t happen often, and not always on purpose either, when his photos just basically appeared even when you were not searching for anything related to him. With a forced smile, you simply answer him with, “Lucky guess. After all, you have always had a date clinging to your arms on the two occasions we met. Surely, it wouldn’t be wrong of me to assume that there are others in between.”
Namjoon blinks. Whether or not he believes you is not really your problem, though you are surprised to see a mix of shock and guilt in his eyes for a brief moment—and maybe a semblance of shame—before everything fades in the next blink. However, he still keeps his eyes on you when he says, “There had been a few casual relationships that I’ve shared in the past, some casual flings, nothing truly serious. Some of the women that people may have seen with me as my date have also been a part of—” he grimaces, “Well, you may call it as special arrangements.”
“What do you mean?”
Namjoon shrugs and gives you a small smile. “It means it was nothing but that, a front to show the public that I had connections. It helped boost the business when I showed up on dates with people who mattered in the business and it mostly helped them at the same time as showing up with me in public put their name out there for people and the media to recognise,” he says, once again surprising you when instead of telling you this while wearing a sense of pride on his face, all that you see on his face is a hint of shame, before he puts on another mask, and he wears a determined look on his face when he says, “So, the answer is no. They’ve never spent the night here and I’ve never opened my home to them. While I can’t say that I’m a saint either, I have had flings, friends with benefits, women that I could call when I needed a company, and oftentimes the public date that people were seeing me in would continue for the rest of the night, if you know what I mean. I can’t tell you all the details, but—” he stops to look at you in the eyes to add, “The time I spent with them had never been spent here, not in my home.”
Clearly, you have no idea how to react to that, or how to respond when he is looking at you with some sort of a hopeful look in his eyes. How could you even say anything when he just opens up that part of his life so easily, to be so easily honest instead of putting up a front just to amuse you? Unable to find anything to say, you look away, nodding at him as you tell him, “I see. Well, what you do at your personal time isn’t truly my business, is it?”
“Did. What I did in my personal time—” he quickly says with a firm voice, drawing you to find his eyes again. “Things have changed. It has to be.”
“You don’t have to change anything just because—” you begin to speak, hating the way your heart is giving some happy little flops in your chest just for hearing him say those things. Because it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. And you shouldn’t be jumping up and down in joy when his life doesn’t concern you. “We don’t even know each other to be saying things like this.”
“Then perhaps we can change that.”
“What?”
With a sigh, Namjoon leans forward to get closer to you, his eyes never waver from your face as he speaks, bringing back everything that had once been said between you the last time you met.
Before Jungkook left to give you space.
“Perhaps we can take this chance to get to know each other better. Past the memory of me being the douchebag who talked shit about the soulmate system and ignored you while you were waiting to see me, past the knowledge of me being Jungkook’s friend or the man who put up a front as if I have had a glorious love life in the past,” he says, and you can swear that there is a fire in his eyes, a look that tells you that he is not backing down. Not from this one.
“There is a reason why the universe had put the both of us together and matched us since birth. There is a reason why fate still insisted that we met, regardless of what had happened to us in the past that had kept us apart. Don’t you want to know what reason that might be?”
The weight of Namjoon’s offer sits with you all through breakfast. While it doesn’t do much to ruin the serene moment that you have been sharing with Namjoon right until the moment he said the words, it still has you growing weary and uneasy for the rest of the morning you spend with him.
It becomes a wonder for you when you manage to walk away from the dining table completely unscathed, even if your mind continues reeling over it without even being able to give him a sold answer. As if he can sense it, Namjoon merely smiles when you fall silent after hearing his offer and suggests that you would take your time to consider it.
“You don’t have to give me an answer or agree with it right away. Try to think about it, don’t let me force or affect any decision you make,” he says, before changing the topic just when you come close to start thinking of ways to escape and flee out of his home.
By noon, you are back at your apartment, sitting on the sofa right in front of the television, its empty screen looking back at you. Namjoon had sent his driver to take you home merely an hour ago, right around the same time he had suddenly acquired some motivation to get back to work and had decided that the driver would be of better use to drive you home while he did his duty from his fancy penthouse.
Feeling drained and sensing no other emotions but the emptiness that had followed you since the day before, you had fallen onto this sofa moments after you walked in and you have yet to move away from it since. You should be mulling over his offer, or perhaps plan out what to do to get Jungkook back and have him talk to you. But you are too numb to do anything, much less to function when you can barely think clearly, as if both your body and mind have shut down ever since you returned to your empty home.
Home.
Looking around, you take in your surroundings, gazing at the space that you had built together with Jungkook as a place where you would be—should have been—building your future together. You look at the beige-coloured walls around you which have been adorned with various framed pictures of the two of you and posters of everything that you both enjoy in life, at the room that is filled with all the mementoes that you have collected together with Jungkook through all the years you spent together.
Your mind takes you back to Namjoon’s home, which had appeared a complete contrast to your own. Despite calling it his personal space, Namjoon’s penthouse seemed scarce of intimate touches. It had felt too impersonal for you, with only essential things filling his home instead of the things that would make his personal space homely, with monochrome colours painting all the walls, spaces, and furnitures which seemed to be the opposite of the vibrant colours that you could find in yourhome.
And yet, as you are sitting here on your own, this apartment suddenly feels colder, hollow, as if the warmth that has been a huge part of it has been sucked dry the moment Jungkook stepped out of the door, the moment every bit of hope that you have built simply shattered when he turned away from you, taking all of that hope and your joy away while taking away your right to choose.
With a sharp inhale of breath, you finally snap out of it, and you soon fall in motion to start picking your life back up as much as possible.
You start by contacting your workplace, while you had informed your co-workers of your absence for the past two days, you decide to make it clear that the ‘family emergency’ you are currently dealing with will take some more time to fix and that you will need to take an early vacation leave before you can return to work. Then you start making more phone calls, sending out texts, doing the best you can to trace Jungkook’s whereabouts and confirm that he is okay, that perhaps you can find him and drag him back home to you.
Your stomach dips when Jungkook’s brother contacts you back only to let you know that your fiancé has yet to appear back at their hometown—not at their parents’ house, not at the brother’s house, and nowhere near their other relatives or old friends. Another call confirms what Namjoon had told you that Jungkook has yet to step foot at the company either, while none of your close friends claims to have been contacted by Jungkook since the day he was gone.
It takes a lot of convincing and pleading to Jungkook’s brother to make him believe that nothing is wrong and to make him promise that he wouldn’t let the news reach their parents. And it takes you a lot of vague explanations to answer all the questions that your friends throw at you with each call or text to keep them from finding out what is actually happening.
Your sister is the last person you call, and her voice immediately feels like a warm hug. Even before you start explaining to her all the details, Gahee seems to have sensed it, as if she had been expecting to receive this call for a long time.
“Gosh, I’m so sorry, _____, I have no idea what to say. Do you want to stay here with us until he comes back? Youngjae has a conference to attend out of town this weekend and I was just about to ask you to stay here to keep me company and help out with Gyeoul anyway,” she softly says.
“I don’t know,” you whisper into the call. “I want to be here if—when he comes back.” Your throat feels constricted that you can barely say those words, and you realise just how unconvincing you sounded even to yourself. Your eyes begin to prickle and burn with tears for the lost hope, but you suck a deep breath and hold everything in. Only for your effort to turn futile when your sister offers,
“I know that you want to wait for him. But would it be a good idea to wait on your own? At least when you’re here, you have Gyeoul and me to distract you. You wouldn’t have everything that reminds you of him suffocating and torturing you in your wait.”
Suffocating? Is that what this place is making me feel?
You begin to wonder about this just when your chest grows even tighter the moment your eyes fall on one of the photos that Jungkook had put on display. An old photo of you taken on your birthday two years ago.
You close your eyes briefly before taking another look around you just as you end the phone call. Not a moment too soon, the silence sinks in, as if it has been waiting in the shadows, lurking around you until the moment you are no longer busy with calls and texts to finally notice it and it would finally engulf you, wrapping itself around you until you find it hard to simply breathe.
Right at that moment, you know that you would never be able to survive sitting here in your silence and in the not knowing only to wait helplessly for Jungkook’s return. Determined to not let yourself drown in sorrow, you finally make your move.
By dusk, you have your personal things packed up. Essential things that you would need to get through the upcoming days and only enough spare clothes to get through the week. By nightfall, you are sitting inside an Uber ride taking you across the city. The hollowness follows you even after you are kilometres away from your apartment, though you can slowly feel it fading, chipped in with every added distance. You try not to think too much about where you are heading to, keeping your eyes looking out the window and watching closely at the city that still thrives while your entire world seems to be falling apart.
By the time you reach your destination, your chest no longer feels tight, though you still feel completely numb. And it doesn’t help eliminate your spiking nerves as you stand right in front of the doorway, your heart stammering in your chest as you are waiting for it to be opened.
The sound of the keys and the door clicking open feels like a gavel coming down to seal your fate. A sense of uncertainty plagues you as you are standing there, though it all fades so quickly when you lift your face and meet Namjoon’s eyes.
“I—I don’t know why I’m here, but—”
Once again, you feel as if your throat is clogged when you are not even completely sure how to explain yourself. The last thing you remember was feeling the dread of loneliness while being alone inside your home. That intense feeling had pulled you right out of it to find solace, only to lead you all the way here, back to his door.
While you are busy questioning yourself, Namjoon simply smiles at you and steps aside, widening the door behind him so you could step right past him. There is no question in his eyes, no doubt in his smile, and there is nothing but pure warmth engulfing you when he says,
“Come in. You’re always welcome here, _____.”
➥ Author’s note | Forgive me for the wait, but this one took a bit of time to finish. As you may have noticed, I have added another chapter on the masterpost. I have decided to split the original chapter into two, with chapter 8 as the filler chapter, while more intriguing stuff will happen later on chapter 9. I hope you enjoyed reading this one. Thank you for joining this emotional ride. Any feedback is welcome!
pairing(s): seokjin x reader x namjoon — also yoongi x reader, implied ot7 x reader
summary:Kim Seokjin calls to issue a challenge. A (double) dare, if you will. He says you can’t take two dicks at once. Kim Namjoon, his roommate, argues that you can. Well, you never back down from a dare, especially when it involves Seokjin and Namjoon.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language, low-key horny crack + chaotic energy; smut (fem reader, doggy, threesome, slight D/s dynamics, mild restraint, nipple play, finger sucking, fingering, double penetration); non-idol!AU - ot7 x sex friend!reader, focusing on Seokjin and Namjoon in this one :D (coughwith some Yoongi)
’journey (to the dick)’ au aka you as the main character in harem hentai and BTS is your (horny af) harem
–
“Yah!”
Smack!
“What? Ah, f-fuck!”
“I need you to get over here. There is a particular matter that needs to be discussed,” came the very serious, no-nonsense tone from your phone, speaking rather sternly for someone who called you three times in a row and forced you to answer in the middle of your, ahem, dick appointment.
You were holding the phone in one hand and your other was on the bed, fingers clutching the sheets, jerked forward periodically with firm, hard thrusts.
Someone was shouting behind the one on the phone.
“I told hyung that you could take dick in both holes and he doesn’t believe me!”
You immediately recognized that deep, sultry voice in the background. Still, you needed to address the accusation first.
“Kim Seokjin,” you panted. “What the fuck?”
You could hearhis exaggerated eye roll. Well, you couldn’t, but you could, you know?
“Namjoon thinks you can take dick in the pussy and the ass at the same time,” Seokjin spat as if that was utter bullshit. “And that’s just not possible.”
Smack! “Why–” Smack! “Would–” Smack! “You–” Smack! “Think–” Smack! “I couldn’t – mmm, fuck, yes right theeere, fuck, so deep and so hard, ugh, you’re so good…”
Seokjin continued like you weren’t in the middle of getting fucked right that very second.
“Because, okay, you could take some small dick, sure, but us? Us? Come on, you totally couldn’t.”
“That was absolutely absurd of you to say so, Kim Seokjin,” you snapped, your words curling into a lustful moan as a firm hand pushed the small of your back down, forcing you to your elbow, leisurely spanking your ass hard with his open palm, keeping you on the edge, so close to hitting your peak but not quite there, thrusting steady but rough.
The headboard was hammering the wall at the same deliberate pace.
The neighbor who lived on the other side of the wall was cursing again.
“Are you both going to be home?” you gasped out, all of your muscles tensing. Almost…
Seokjin snorted. “Pfft, obviously, we are human beings who sleep, you know–”
“We’ll see about that.”
You hung up on him.
“I gotta go.”
Surprisingly, the deep, husky voice behind you actually responded.
“Afterthis one.”
“You asshole, you are holding out – a-ah, wait, oooooooh, fuck!”
-
“I took a shower, Yoongi helped me clean all my bits, I dried my hair, went back home to put on a fresh dress and you’re fucking ASLEEP, KIM SEOKJIN, WHAT THE FUCK?!”
“Zzzzzzz – guh!”
Total chaos as you threw yourself onto Kim Seokjin’s lap, disturbing the perfect image of self-proclaimed Worldwide Handsome laying on the couch covered with a fluffy white blanket and squishy alpaca plush with a red neck scarf tucked in his inner arm, grabbing said plush and smacking him with it repeatedly as Seokjin lost his shit, flailing about and throwing his arms over his head, wailing at you to stop. His roommate, Kim Namjoon, was unabashedly cackling like a lunatic behind you.
“Hell no,” Namjoon snorted in laughter. “I’m having a great time watching.”
“Yah!”
“First you doubt me, then you fall asleep on me, what’s next, you–”
Seokjin grabbed both your wrists, thinking he had won, already cheering for himself, only for you to plant your tits right onto his handsome face, his nose jammed right into your cleavage because of the sweetheart neckline of your red lace dress, hot breath warming your chest, brown eyes wide, grip on your wrists lessening in his shock. You yanked your hands out and clutched his head, sinking your fingers into his black hair, violently muffling his half-squeal, half-moan with your breasts, blaringly obvious that you weren’t wearing a bra because your prominent nipples were already hard and creating stiff peaks under the fabric, poking him incessantly in the cheeks.
You gasped as another pair of strong hands grabbed your forearms and made you release Seokjin’s head, forcing them up and your back to arch. A deep voice dipped down to caress your ear, not paying attention to Seokjin who did not detach himself from your tits.
He was making the most of it while you were distracted.
“Woah there, what do you think you’re doing?” Namjoon drawled, grip tightening, bending your arms back, elbows up, pressing your wrists to your upper back. “That’s not a punishment.”
You tried to breathe but Namjoon’s heavenly deep voice was taking your breath away.
“You know what punishments are.”
He pressed your head back, leaving your arms the way they were, and Namjoon’s sultry eyes appeared, half-lidded brown orbs completely visible because he had cut his hair very short now, dark gray-brown and spiked up, cocking an eyebrow at you. You whimpered at his gaze, suddenly feeling hotness on the curve of your breast, lips pressed to one of your nipples, and then wetness closing in, sucking you through lace and satin, the short flared skirt rising because of your spread thighs, but there was too much fabric between you and Seokjin’s hardness, the blanket and pajama pants and boxer briefs, so frustrating, about to lower your head to rectify that, but Namjoon’s palm pressed into your chin, fingers closing in around your cheeks, immobile.
“Where do you think you’re looking?”
Every time Namjoon smirked, one of his dimples peeked out at you. Ugh, so sexy.
“I… I’m s-supposed to be punishing Seokjinnie…” you gasped out, feeling said man’s teeth nicking at your nipple through your dress, his large hands closing in on your waist, pulling you closer, causing you to bend back more, unable to escape Namjoon’s grip and gaze.
Namjoon tilted his head, amused. “Yeah? Were you so, so mad that hyung wasn’t awake so you could show off how well you can take it in both holes?”
You didn’t want to whine and be pathetic, but Seokjin’s mouth and hands were all over your breasts and waist, pinching you through your clothes and sucking on the hard nubs, rushes of pleasure clouding your head and making you forget your defiance, remembering all the things Namjoon liked, like when you were so drunk on sex that you just gave into him, now whimpering and opening your mouth, your tongue sliding out, feeling him shift his palm, Namjoon’s finger leisurely tracing your lips. Your tongue followed, licking the pads of his fingers, rolling your body into Seokjin’s mouth, wanting to grab his shoulders but not letting yourself do so because Namjoon hadn’t allowed you to do so yet.
He liked you bad, but he also liked you obedient.
“W… Want it…”
You felt Namjoon’s other hand tangle in your hair, fingers molding to your scalp, sliding two of his long fingers into your mouth and making you suck on them, your eyelids fluttering as he fucked your mouth with his fingers, rubbing your tongue, pushing your arms down, your name growled by that deep, deep voice.
“Look at me.”
You fixated your eyes on Namjoon’s stern expression, shuddering as you felt Seokjin push the sleeves of your dress down, scooping out your breasts, moaning as his lips touched your skin, hot tongue teasing your hard nipples and you couldn’t tell him to do more or less, trapped by Namjoon’s fingers in your mouth and his hand in your hair, tugging at it lightly so you sucked his fingers like a cock, vision hazing out at the helplessness of it all.
Voluntary helplessness, to be clear.
“You want it? You had Yoongi-hyung fucking you earlier and now you want more? So dirty and so insatiable,” Namjoon taunted, not meaning it of course, because how could he mean it when he too wanted it all, knew you were insatiable and loved it as much as the rest of them, addicted to the feeling you gave him, pushing your head down, fingers still in your mouth. Seokjin raised his head, black hair, large brown eyes, pink lips lush and full and gorgeous, meeting the image of fingers sliding in and out of your glossy lips, your eyes glassy and reflected in his.
Namjoon pushed his fingers apart, opening your mouth.
Your tongue lolled out, swiping around his knuckle, staring into Seokjin’s eyes.
“F… Fuck…”
The oldest was dirty-minded but resistant in showing it, clenching his jaw, weakening as your fingers danced up his arms and you moaned his name messily between Namjoon’s long wet digits, tits pushed up by the neckline of your dress straining under them, knowing your sensuality was irresistible and infectious, placing your hands on his broad shoulders, pulling him closer.
“I still… don’t think you can take us both at once…” he breathed, staring into your eyes.
You smirked, Namjoon’s fingers sliding out, saliva smearing onto your chin, the taste of his skin on your tongue.
“Only one way to find out.”
And you leaned in and kissed those perfect lips, soft and passionate kiss, wrapping your arms around him, fingers splaying over his back and in his hair, his name trapped in the kiss, sudden hardness pressing to your back, breaking the first kiss and turning your head to be trapped in another, full lips commanding the lip-lock, two different hands on your breasts, Seokjin and Namjoon toying with them, the rush of pleasure only just beginning.
-
“Whose face am I looking at?”
“Obviouslymine,” Seokjin scoffed. “Do you even have to ask?”
You gasped. “But Namjoon is so handsome.”
Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but you want him to make you look at him, so that completely defeats the purpose of being forced when the default is you facing him.”
“Also, hyung thinks he’s the most handsome,” Namjoon chuckled, tugging your dress off, kisses across your chest as it left your body, hands travelling to push your panties down.
“No,” Seokjin choked, affronted as you moaned and gripped Namjoon’s shoulders, enjoying his powerful grip. “I am not that self-centered. I just happen to like how Ilook very much. Namjoon is very handsome, capable, and intelligent.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
Namjoon shoved a finger inside your wetness, making you stumble into the sofa, raising your leg to place it against Seokjin’s naked thigh, almost falling if it wasn’t for your ass being suddenly grabbed by Seokjin’s firm hands.
“You are still clumsy, Namjoon,” Seokjin sighed, lowering you slightly to look over your shoulder.
You reached back and held onto the sofa, Namjoon’s mouth on your nipple and his finger in your soaked pussy, thrusting deeply to match his swiping tongue, maddeningly slow but rough, so dangerous, losing your mind at the leisurely pace, trying to buck your hips to get more but Seokjin’s hands were preventing you.
You heard the oldest huff and make a disapproving tongue click.
“Not like that. She likes it faster than that.”
Namjoon knew that. Obviously.
Your eyes widened.
He smirked around your nipple as one of Seokjin’s hands left your ass.
“Seok– oh, fuuuck!”
You gasped as you felt another finger enter your dripping pussy, another finger of a different hand, stretching your walls and a different pace, faster, your eyes rolling back, head hitting Seokjin’s shoulder, but either he didn’t notice or didn’t care, your moans in his ear, Namjoon matching the rhythm, oh, shit, they were fingering you together, Seokjin from between your legs from behind and Namjoon from the front, the backs of their hands slick with your juices, Seokjin’s other hand still squeezing one ass cheek and Namjoon’s other hand on your waist, his mouth on your breasts.
“Come on, I know you’re close,” Seokjin muttered, exhaling hard. “I can feel your pussy sucking me in, asking for dick already.”
He was not normally one for dirty talk, but sometimes Seokjin let himself got lost in the lust, lost in the moment of your throbbing walls and shaking body, moans of their names tumbling from your lips, filling up their living room with obscenity and depravity, thrusting in unison, loud and wet and heavy breathing blending with your sound, pushed to the edge, thighs tensing, electricity flashing throughout your nerves.
“Namjoon, Seokjin, fuck!”
Wet squelch, sweet gush of your juices soaking their hands, your eyes rolling back, yelping as Namjoon’s hand retreated and Seokjin stuffed another finger in you. You didn’t need to say it, one glance at Namjoon and he could see it, harder, hyung, she can take it, gasping as Seokjin obeyed and Namjoon’s wet fingers pressed onto your throbbing clit, wild howl at the contact, sparks of sensitivity because it was right after your orgasm, heat at your neck from Seokjin’s cheeks, his teeth finding your shoulder, biting it, maybe from his realization of how crazy this moment was or in the heated moment of wanting to feed you even more pleasure, but the sharp unexpected pain only hiked your moans, Namjoon rubbing your clit as Seokjin shoved his fingers into you hard and fast, the angle a little awkward but there was so much going on that it didn’t matter, already there once again, obsessed with the overabundance of ecstasy, I’m cumming, fuck, Namjoon, Seokjin, a-ah, clit engorged and pulsing strongly to Namjoon’s punishing touch, words jumbled and woven with breathless cries, orgasm crashing down and soaking Seokjin’s hand once more, thick and sweet and honey-like, viscous juices clinging to your inner thighs, painted with your high.
Namjoon leaned in, silencing your shuddering gasps with his mouth, deep kisses and swirling tongue dazing you, aftershocks flinching through your torso as he pressed his fingertips to your jerking core, lowering you from the crashing waves, whispering darkly against your lips.
“We haven’t even started.”
Releasing you, and you were already turning around, meeting Seokjin’s gaze and his panting smile, kissing it, sighing contentedly in his touch, just something about those lips and his large frame surrounding you, something about the way he shivered when you sucked his breath away and drank it, almost innocent, but not that innocent, because the second your wandering hand found the condom on the sofa and pressed it into his palm, his lips curved into a teasing grin, nipping at yours.
“Already?” he teased.
You reached between you and him, fingers ghosting his length, smirking at Seokjin’s gasp, gazing at him under your lashes.
“You get hard from kisses, Seokjinnie.”
“I – gah, d-don’t…”
But he didn’t mean it, of course not, because he was humping your hand that was closing around his hot, hardening cock, stroking him slowly from base to tip, spreading the pre-cum over the sensitive head, his jaw clenching at the feeling, desire and need clouding his eyes, pupils blown-out, ripping open the foil packet, heavier exhales, staring into your eyes.
“You want to look at me that bad, huh?” he breathed against your lips, fishing for it.
You gave it to him, exactly what he wanted.
“Mhm, Seokjin, I want to look at your handsome, perfect face while you fuck my pussy and Namjoon fucks my ass.”
He sucked in a breath, caught in his throat.
“You’re crazy, but so, so hot.”
Eh, you’ll take it.
You moved your hand and he rolled the condom down, yelping as you captured his lips again, addicted to his kiss and his soft cries, his hand and your hand guiding his stiff cock to your quivering pussy, already saturated with slickness, spread knees and lowering body, sinking down onto him, moaning into his mouth and he moaned into your throat, suffocating each other with your noises, rolling your hips and breaking the kiss, both of your faces pointed to heaven with the true heaven between your connected hips, pleasure at being filled and doing the filling, his hands on your ass to push you down.
“Hyung, spread her ass,” Namjoon ordered behind you.
You pitched forward slightly, wrapping your arms around Seokjin’s shoulders, gasping as you felt him tug outwards, sinking his fingers into your softness, your lips pressed to his cheek, his sweet voice murmuring your name, filling you with warmth despite being exposed so vulnerably.
You inhaled deeply, breathing in Seokjin’s clean scent.
Then you flexed your asshole, tightening and relaxing the ring of muscle.
“Fuck, that’s so sexy.”
You gazed at him in your periphery, eyes widening as you realized Namjoon too was naked now, muscular body towering behind you, flicking open a bottle of lube and spreading it over his fingers, rubbing them together as they became shiny and slippery, catching your interested expression.
He smirked, dimple on display. “Ready?”
“I’ve been ready since I walked in the door, Namjoon,” you smirked back, enamored with his seductive dark brown eyes.
He chuckled.
“Nah, you were ready the second Seokjin challenged you and said you couldn’t do it.”
Oops, he got ya.
You gasped hotly, feeling his fingers press up against your tight hole, tracing circles and teasing you, pushing into your ass in the opposing rhythm of Seokjin’s rocking hips, your hold on Seokjin’s shoulders tightening, hearing him gasp with you, watching two Namjoon’s fingers dip in and snake into the tightness, both of them inhaling sharply at the sound, wet squelch and your wanton cry, your hips rocking into it, pleasure shimmering all over.
“T-That’s still not a dick,” Seokjin managed to get out, still stubborn but mixed with awe regardless.
“Gotta stretch her out,” Namjoon chuckled. “Don’t wanna hurt our good girl, right?”
Well, if you weren’t in euphoria before, you definitely were there now.
“N… Namjoon-ah…”
“Shh, I got you, just enjoy.”
You arched your back a little more, Seokjin sliding down to accommodate, slowly thrusting and gasping at the sensation, turning to him and intense kisses, needing to occupy your mouth, fullness in your ass and your pussy, whimpering as your felt Namjoon’s fingers flex, nudging your muscles to relax, core throbbing, clenching around Seokjin’s stiff length instead, so good, oh, yes, it was so good, his kisses and slapping your hips down, wanting more, already chasing more, intoxicated by the feeling of both your holes being filled.
You heard the bottle of lube fall to the floor and the slick sound of hand on hardness.
Shivers up and down your spine.
“Say it.”
You broke Seokjin’s kiss, gasping.
“Tell us that you want it,” Namjoon growled.
Drunk on the idea, commanded by lust.
“P-Please, Namjoon…” you breathed, eyes hazy and half-lidded, staring at Seokjin. “Want you to fuck my ass as Seokjin fucks my pussy. Want you two to ruinme.”
The brown eyes beneath you widened, mouthing, you’re crazy.
You grinned, Namjoon’s fingers buried in your ass.
“Told you, hyung.”
His fingers pulled out, pushing the small of your back down with his palm. One a second to mourn the loss and then your eyes widened, the thick head of Namjoon’s cock pressed against your ass.
Wait, maybe you should have asked if Namjoon could be in your puss–
Too late.
“Oh,f-fuck!”
You clutched Seokjin’s shoulders, digging your nails into him as slowly, carefully, Namjoon’s girth entered your tight, tight hole, still tight even through he worked you up and stretched you out, the lube helping him slip inside, your mind going blank, realizing that maybe you went over your head a little, but too far to turn back and, to be honest, you didn’t want to turn back, the fullness already too good to regret it, gasping as Namjoon gripped your hips, holding you completely still as he bottomed out, hot breath on your shoulder blades.
Well.
Your mind wasn’t so blank that you forgot to speak.
“Still…” you panted, slowly grinning at Seokjin’s shocked and stunned face, his jaw dropped as he felt and witnessed it. “Think it’s impossible for me to take dick in both holes?”
“Y-Y-You…” he sputtered, choking a little as Namjoon began to move, his scrambled words mixing with your lustful moans. “Are absurd.”
It was almost too much, but Namjoon did not let you command the pace, instead firmly keeping you in one spot as he nudged Seokjin to move, guiding you both expertly, groaning when you pulsated around the two dicks, able to feel the reverberations from the closeness, body to body to body, trembling from the overwhelming sensation, Seokjin thrusting up from below, his handsome face tense, panting with effort.
“Oh, fuck… it’s so tight… fuck, I can feel it, I can feel his dick fucking your ass, that’s so weird…”
You weren’t quite sure what he expected to feel. What did Seokjin originally think he was getting into when he called you? He was the one who had been touting their superior size! What did he think it would feel like–?!
“A-Ah, y-yes, there, like that, oh f-fuck, like thaaaaaaat…”
You forgot about questioning Seokjin’s brain, refocusing on the feeling of the consistent thrusting and depth of the two cocks, an almost melodic rhythm and substantial fullness. There was a sweet spot, right, oh, there, Namjoon’s hand flat against your back, his deep grunts of effort paired with each smack of hips to ass and Seokjin’s crotch to yours.
Oh, huh, were those loud, pitched moans resonating off the apartment walls you? But the ecstasy too high, too real, too good, so good that you seemed to forget that it was already very late at night.
Surelytheirneighbors would complain – was that part of your brand now? oops – but it seemed that neither Seokjin or Namjoon noticed or cared, pants and moans and groans and chasing carnal pleasure, irrational, wild, heads thrown back, lashes fluttering and lost in bliss, stuffing your tight, wet heat from both holes, kissing Seokjin sloppily before turning your head to make out with Namjoon, his teeth trapping your tongue and sucking on it, gargled moan and shaking body at the mercy of his iron grip, snapping back to Seokjin’s pillowy lips, juxtaposition of hard and soft, crashing pleasure and coiled constriction, letting go, orgasm overtaking you in shudders, not realizing you had been so close, their names falling from your throat between fucked-out, loud, blissful cries.
“Seokjin…Namjoon…”
Couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but peak in that gratifying elation, shivers up and down your spine, the lower half of your body throbbing and trembling, chin lowering only to witness Seokjin shutting his eyes and clenching his jaw, groaning out your name as he shot into the condom, jerking cock twitching inside you, vibrating front to back, no, that was Namjoon’s low hiss of your name, his fingernails digging in your hips he shot into your ass, your eyes snapping open, thick spurts of his orgasm so strong that you could feel his cock twitching deep inside, your pulse roaring in your ears, chest heaving, struggling for breath.
Feeling far too proud that they both came with you.
Namjoon’s sweaty chest hit your back, sandwiching you between that big body and Seokjin’s broad shoulders. Seokjin looked to be two seconds away from passing out from the ecstasy of orgasm.
Nice.
“Don’t… question me… again,” you snickered, panting heavily.
Seokjin mumbled and shrugged, incoherent.
“I think he’s saying you could do this, but not the reverse of him in the ass and me in the pussy,” Namjoon clarified, kissing your shoulders with an amused chuckle.
“What?!” you roared.
“That’s n-not…!”
Welp.
-
“We still have unfinished business.”
“Yoongi, I just got DP’ed last night. Have mercy.”
“Mmm.”
Kisses on your neck, lowering the strap of your bra, wrapping his arms around you, purring your name.
“I guess you can buy me dinner and we can watch a movie instead.”
summary: You get drunk, have sex with you crush, and wake up in his bed. Whoops.
warnings: idol!BTS; fluff fluff fluff; 18+ for language, mentions of (drunk) sex
note:Main character is female. I use ‘she’ instead of ‘you’ because I’m more comfortable writing the omnipresent POV. You are welcome to think of ‘she’ as yourself or an OC. The pair is alone except for Jin’s scenario because I had the idea and it was so funny that I couldn’t help it lol
–
kim namjoon.
He smiled down at her sleeping form. She was really cute. Her hands were loosely closed into fists close to her face, her mouth slightly open ad she slept. He had been awake for a while now, just looking over her. He didn’t want to wake her. Her lashes fluttered as she closed her mouth and whimpered softly, eyes opening slowly.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
Her hands relaxed and she rubbed her eyes. “Namjoon? What are you doing here?”
He reached out and stroked her head. “What do you mean? You’re in my bed.”
Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him, jaw slack. He frowned a bit, tilting his head.
“What’s wrong?”
Her cheeks colored. “We… did it, didn’t we?” She bit her lip. “It wasn’t a dream?”
He shook his head. “No. At least… I don’t want it to be a dream,” he added uneasily.
Her eyes found his. She looked shy and her cheeks were flushed pink.
“Me neither.”
He smiled coyly, scooting closer to her. “Did you have a good time?”
She placed her hands over her mouth and nodded. “Yeah.” It was as if she was trying to hide her blushing cheeks, but she was failing. He noticed she was looking at him with concerned eyes. “Are you going to be in trouble because of me?”
“I’m more worried about you than me.”
She shook her head, smiling.
“Clearly I don’t mind otherwise I wouldn’t have done it.”
He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. He kissed her nose.
“I’m glad we think the same.”
-
kim seokjin.
He breathed deeply as he woke up. He opened his eyes slowly, enjoying the sensation of waking up. He stretched his arms, under the covers, feeling the crispness of his sheets. And then he hit something solid. Something that felt like skin.
His eyes snapped open and he tore the covers off his bed, only to find–
A woman. A naked woman.
He screamed.
He hadn’t meant to scream. It was just a gut reaction. The woman’s eyes shot open and she also cried out, grabbing the covers and pulling them over her head. Understandably, she was frightened. He recognized her, but her appearance in his bed had shocked him so much that he didn’t know what else to do but scream.
“What the fuck?”
He looked up and his roommate’s head popped up out of the covers, hair messy and looking like a grumpy cat that had been disturbed from a nap. Yoongi’s eyes were barely open, and he blinked several times, glaring at him.
He yelled again, in sheer shock that he had a naked woman in his bed and his roommate had been sleeping onlyseveral feet away from them.
Yoongi threw a pillow at him and turned over again. “Please shut up. What is wrong with you?”
The pillow bounced off him and hit the lump next to him. She squeaked under the covers at the sudden thump. Yoongi made a disgruntled noise and looked up.
“What was that?”
He could only gape open-mouthed at the younger man. Yoongi sat up in his bed and stared at him, eyes finally mostly open. He stared at Seokjin and then looked down at the bed. The covers shifted and her head slowly poked out of the covers. She saw Yoongi and hid the lower half of her face.
“… H-hello Yoongi.”
Yoongi looked from him to her, and then back to him. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. But then again Yoongi was very good at hiding his emotions. Yoongi yawned and climbed out of bed, his loose gray pajamas rumpled from sleep. He walked up to the bed and placed his hand on her head, fluffing her messy hair.
“Hey.” He smiled down at her. “I’m going to leave, so don’t be too embarrassed, okay?” He looked up at him and gave him a pointed scowl. “Talk things out.” He patted her head one last time and then turned around and walked out of the room, locking and closing the door behind him.
She peeked up at him from over the covers. He felt his face redden, the memories of last night coming back to him. Her big round eyes looked shiny with tears. He pushed his own embarrassment to the side and scooted closer to her.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to shout like that. I…”
She cut in quickly. “It’s okay.”
He reached out and smoothed her hair. “It’s not okay. I didn’t mean to scare you.” His hand traveled down her cheek and he stroked the softness, smiling. “Don’t cry. I can’t bear to see you cry.”
She lowered the covers slightly and smiled back at him. “I won’t cry.”
He lay back down and pulled the covers over him as well, grinning. “Let’s wake up again. It’ll be like nothing ever happened.”
She giggled, biting her lip. “You’re so silly.”
-
min yoongi.
She woke up, half dazed, head swimming. A soft groan left her lips as she turned over, bumping onto something. She frowned and opened her eyes, squinting at the sudden burst of light. Then her eyes snapped open as soon as she realized a messy-haired man was lying right next to her. Not just any man.
Min Yoongi.
He mumbled in his sleep and opened his eyes, barely a crack. He looked a bit disoriented and sleepy, blinking a few times. Then she felt his hands loop around her naked waist and he pulled her to him. Oh no. She was naked. Skin touched skin. He was naked.
Alarm bells rang in her head and the memories struggled to drift back to her. He made a soft noise and nuzzled her neck. She had been drinking. He had been drinking. Their clothes were probably on the floor. She couldn’t see where they were. She could feel his lips against her neck when he spoke.
“Morning.”
She looked around them. They were alone.
“What… happened last night?”
He closed his eyes again and spoke without looking at her.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
She didn’t say anything for a long time. His eyes opened again, only halfway.
“Are you dissatisfied?”
“No!” She responded too quickly. She looked away, hiding her face. “No… not at all.”
He looked at her for a moment, amused, before closing his eyes again and kissing her neck.
“Good.”
-
jung hoseok.
She woke slowly, groggily. Her hand was touching something soft and furry. It felt like her cat so she petted it without opening her eyes. There was a noise next to her. It didn’t sound like her cat. Come to think of it, she hadn’t gone home last night. She struggled to remember what she had done last night. She had been hanging out with Hoseok, he had been drinking, so she dropped him off at the house. And then – oh shit.
Her eyes snapped open and the soft furry thing she was touching was not her cat. It was his hair. And the covers were halfway off their bodies. Their naked bodies. Her eyes widened and she reached down to tug the covers up over them. No one else was in the room, but she was still freaked out. Had anyone seen them? Was anyone around? Questions swam in her head.
He made a disgruntled noise and grabbed her hand, placing it back on his head. He snuggled closer. Upon seeing him, her worries died down. Even by just looking at his face, she began to smile. He tugged on her hand again.
“Don’t stop,” he mumbled, leaning his head against her shoulder.
Her arm was curved in a weird position around his head so she readjusted before running her fingers through his hair again. He had lovely hair. She couldn’t help but smile. He practically purred in satisfaction.
“Feels nice,” he murmured.
“Yeah?”
His eyes opened slightly and he smiled at her.
“I never thought I would wake up with you next to me.”
-
park jimin.
He woke up first, quietly. He scooted closer to her and lifted her head so it lay against his chest. He held her loosely. Seeing her face so calm and peaceful was all he wanted. He brushed her hair out of her face, stroking her cheek. He loved every detail of her face. Soft, luscious skin. Fluttering lashes. Plush lips. Simply beautiful.
He smiled.
Her brows furrowed and she mumbled, shifting in his arms. Her hand came up and she placed it on her forehead, wincing.
“Mmm, Jimin? My head hurts.”
Her little pout was irresistible. He petted her hair.
“I’m sorry, lovely. Can I do something to make you feel better?”
She curled up around his naked body. Her hand fell from her forehead and she intertwined her fingers with his. She had perfect hands, hands that he loved to hold.
“Do we have to get up?” she mumbled.
“No, not anytime soon.” He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. Her warm breath felt nice against his chest. Her cheeks were flushed. It made his heart flutter. It was just – just indescribable, the way he felt.
“Are you happy?” she asked, quietly.
He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Very.” He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, nuzzling his face into her sweet-smelling hair. He felt her smile against his chest.
“You’re so cute, Jimin.”
-
kim taehyung.
When she woke up, she hurt all over. Her head hurt. Her lower back hurt. Her legs hurt. She frowned and rubbed her eyes, yawning. She couldn’t remember what happened. Her mind felt hazy. She winced as she realized her inner thighs hurt. The memories tumbled back unexpectedly and she groaned, realizing why she hurt all over. Her cheeks flared red and she smacked them with her hands, hoping that when she opened her eyes that it was just a dream. If it was a dream then she would have no reason to be embarrassed. But, of course, it wasn’t, because she knew she was naked. That was a bad sign. The next bad sign was that there was weight on her stomach.
She cracked one eye open. An arm was wrapped around her.
Aw, fuck.
She turned her head to the side and there he was. His straight hair was covering his face but it was unmistakably Taehyung. His face was peaceful and asleep, his breathing deep. She closed her eyes again and sighed. She didn’t want to get him in trouble. It was probably best to leave as soon as possible, before anyone else noticed them together. The thought made her heart drop, but it was probably for the best.
She slid out from under his arm and sat up. She took one last look at his sleeping face, his delicate features mixed with his strong jawline. She didn’t really want to leave. She turned back around and looked around the room. Her clothes were scattered around the room. Her brows furrowed. With another soft sigh, she began to stand to collect them.
She felt a hand clasping her wrist tightly, pulling her back. She turned around and those sweet, brown doe-like eyes looked back at her.
“Please don’t go.”
He tugged harder and she sat back down on the bed. He scooted over to her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her shoulder.
“Stay.”
-
jeon jungkook.
She just stared at the ceiling. All choices had consequences. Her head hurt a bit, but she would get over it. She looked to the side and there Jungkook was, sleeping in a slightly crooked position, hair askew. She turned her head to stare back at the ceiling. She didn’t know what to do now. Part of her thought she should leave and maybe act like nothing happened. But most of her didn’t want to move and that was the problem. She bit her lip. Surely someone saw them. The question was whether or not that person or those people could keep their mouths shut.
He stirred beside her. His eyes opened slowly. He stared at her for about thirty seconds before his eyes widened, suddenly realizing what was happening.
She didn’t have to look at him to know his eyes were looking every which way, trying to piece together the situation even though it was a very obvious situation.
“I… we…”
“Yeah.”
She turned to look at him and he was sitting up, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. She raised an eyebrow and smiled.
“Do you want me to leave?” she asked, despite knowing she definitely did not want to leave.
He shook his head. “No, it’s just…” He looked sheepish. “I kind of thought it was a dream. Too good to be true, you know.”
She felt her face become hot. She turned away, staring back at the ceiling. “Er… sorry?”
“No, that’s not…” He trailed off. She felt the bed move as he shifted positions and then his head was right above her. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. He still looked shy, but he spoke with more confidence now.
Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.
Warning - Cheating(Aftermath);
Word Count - 6.3k
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‘You know, I don’t see why we can’t just gatecrash the bachelorette party.’ Jimin whined over the phone.
‘Mini, I love you, I do, but it’s girl’s only.’ You rolled your eyes and smiled into the phone. ‘Plus, you guys have to be there for Kenta. Be the life of the party,’ you lifted your shoulders,’ I don’t know… guy talk.’
He scoffed. ‘It’s wayyy better to shake my ass with our party girls, and I know for a fact there’s going to be shit talking. The soulmates are the life of the party, y/n.’
You shut your car door and talked on your way up Yuna’s steps. ‘So be the life of thatparty.’
You heard him grumble to Taehyung who was probably next to him.
Fidgeting with the spare key in your hand you sighed. ‘Okay let me do this, I have Kae-Lee, Ria, Lirrah and Jia with us tonight. So let me see where the night is headed, and if it’s cool with the girls, I’ll give you guys a sign to come through.’
‘What about Yuna?’
You snorted. ‘Please, that bitch would never mind the two of you.’
‘Okay. Let’s see if we can get this party started. If it sucks, we’re jumping ship.’
You chuckled at their lack of remorse. 'We’ll be happy to have you aboard.’
You jumped out of your skin as you heard a crash come from inside the house, then a scream.
Yuna!
'Gotta go.'
Ending the call and shoving the phone in your pocket, you hurriedly twisted the knob on the door. Finding it open, you pushed your way inside.
'You are one crazy bitch!'
The sound was that of a kitchen utensil hitting the floor, so you headed straight for the kitchen and rounded the corner to its entrance.
'What the fuck is going on here?’ You looked at the tray and crumbs of broken muffins strewn across the floor then between the two individuals that shared the same face, but couldn’t be more different.
'Oh great.’ Helen let out a cold spurt of laughter. 'Here to save the day, as always, y/n.’
Helen and Yuna had had their fair share of fights. You and Helen had enough experience getting in each other’s way, but something… seemed different this time.
She looked wild, and unhinged. A cold trail built up your spine, one that had your protective instincts rearing its head.
Pushing aside any fear, you walked to Yuna, giving her a once over.
'Are you okay?’You pushed her hair out of her face and noted the shock etched on her features.
'I’m fine.’ She gave you a hard look. That look would fool anyone… anyone that didn’t know her.
She was scared, and in pain, and this may have never been your fight, but you would always choose to protect her, even if she hadn’t asked.
Eyes blazing, you turned on the cause of Yuna’s distress. 'What the fuck are you doing here, Helen?’
'This is my sister’s house.’ She feigned nonchalance, but you could see she was rattled. ‘I don’t owe you an explanation.’
'What. Do. You. Want?’ You ground out each word. You had no time for games.
She opened her mouth to speak and paused. Chuckling incredulously, she turned her head to the ceiling, hands on her hips, 'You are really a thorn in my side, y/n.’ Looking back at you she crossed her arms, and pursed her lips. 'You have been for a long time.’
Helen Mei was strong, independent and cutthroat. She did her job well. She carried herself well. She fought the system, was brutally honest and would never back down from a fight. As a person, it would hardly be a struggle to get along with her, as Yuna’s sister she was less than tolerable. You had an inkling and a fear about her true feelings toward you, a friction between the two of you that could never be bypassed or erased. But up until the fight you had weeks ago, and now, you didn’t know how far her insecurities ran. Then again, it wasn’t an insecurity if it was true.
She continued without waiting for you to speak. 'It just wasn’t enough for you, was it?’ Her question didn’t sound rhetorical at all, as if she was actually looking for an explanation. 'It wasn’t enough to disappoint your family, disappointing your father,’ her voice felt like a whip cracking against old wounds, opening them up, 'to push them away, leave them high and dry,’ she frowned at you, 'you had to steal mine as well.’
'When I had none left!’ You flinched at her outburst and felt your throat flex with a hard swallow. You decided to bite your tongue against any of her words – this was a long time coming.
'My uncle,’ she said bitterly, 'God knows what made him just absolutely love you.’ Nausea roiled within you, a darker nightmare, trying to make itself known. 'My sister,’ she motioned to Yuna, 'still loves you, my parents…’ she offered a sad smile to the floor, her next words came out in a whisper, 'my parents are dead y/n.’
She looked up at you, her eyes accusing. 'They’re dead! I have no one. I only have me. Because of you!’
For the first time, in a long time, you almost felt remorse at pushing your parents out of your life. Almost. They were alive and well, but you centralized yourself in a maze that would take nothing but time to navigate and lead to sheer dissatisfaction. You never took their calls. You barely answered texts. Any advice you required from your father, any document requiring his signature was purely through conference call in actual professional meetings, and email. Ria could handle your father just fine, and perfected the skill so you had the privilege to dodge him.
You even kept your mom at arm’s length.
Not to say they hadn’t tried to reach out, to meet, to make things right, but you weren’t ready. You might never be ready.
Even Helen, for all the truth behind her temper, couldn’t make you regret your choices.
The canary was missing from its gilded golden cage, its small door wide open. It would remain that way.
'The only reason,’ Yuna stirred beside you, 'you are alone…’ she turned to face her sister fully, 'is because you are selfish, Helen.
Y/n has never told you no. When we were kids, she never only asked for me. She’s always included you. She’s never been anyone but herself… and yet you have hated her.’ Yuna’s tone was laced with contempt, 'You never gave her a chance.’
You resisted the urge to butt in. It was true that you captured more than your fair share of Yuna’s time, it was also true that you had tolerated Helen’s presence. It wasn’t mean or rude. Your energies didn’t gel, didn’t see eye to eye, couldn’t shake hands. That happened in life. But you had never asked Yuna to distance herself, or choose. You never would. Even now, you were willing to make sure Yuna stayed with her sister.
’…ried to distance her from you. I had to hang out with her and not you. I could not have you whining, and brooding and hating one of the people that’s always been there for me. In front of me.’
'What about me? What about me!’ Helen pointed to herself, 'As soon as I was out of the picture… I was out of the fucking picture, Yuna. You had no time for me. You didn’t even make the effort to say, “Hey Helen, come join us”.'
Helen looked less polished than usual. Her hair was unkempt. Her make-up, subpar, your internal monologue commented, as you took her in. Her eyes had a twinge of purple peeking out, as if she wasn’t getting enough sleep. Before you could berate yourself for being so callous as she had a breakdown in front of you, she cracked. 'That, I could have understood. You created a space between her,’ you tried not to make a face as she pointed to you, 'and me. That was fine. But every time we were together… we couldn’t talk. You shut me out. As if the best secrets were for y/n, as if your best moments and your memories were y/n’s first. Y/n this. Y/n that. I asked y/n and she said this. Y/n. Y/n. Y/n! She took my fucking place!’ Helen pointed to herself. 'I was supposed to be the Maid of Honor. Me!’
'I told you, you could have it.’ It was a long shot. It wouldn’t fix anything. It wouldn’t take back all the years of personal vendetta she seemed to have against you. And as important as the role was to you, and to Yuna, you would give anything to fix this.
It also remained that you didn’t want to be hated so badly. Other people were other people, but for someone that had known you for years, to hate you, to this extent…
Helen squeezed her eyes shut as if the very sound of your voice would set her off. 'I don’t need your pity.’
Emotion clogged your throat, needing her to see that you had never meant for any of this, that pushing her out of Yuna’s life was never a plan and you hadn’t actually stolen her twin from her. 'If it will make you come to the wedding, I do not mind stepping aside.’
'No.’ Yuna squeezed my wrist. 'The Maid of Honor, is the bride’s choice. It’s not the sister or the best friend or the closest one, it’s the person they need the most in one of the happiest moments of their lives. And that is you, y/n.’ You sucked in a deep breath, unable to look at her, knowing if you even glanced her way, you would both start crying.
Instead you cleared your throat, and tamped down the panic you felt as the situation got more out of control. 'I can’t take back anything, Helen. Truly, I don’t know when this all started.’
'Of course, play dumb.’
You clenched your teeth. 'I don’t. As far as I knew, we were all friends, and then we weren’t. But now that I know, now that we know, it’s me and my presence, let’s start fresh.’ You implored her, trying your best to get through to her, honestly you wondered if a slap would wake her the fuck up. 'Yuna is leaving, Helen. She’s leaving. She won’t be near me for quite a while. You need to be there for her wedding and give her a proper goodbye.’
'Don’t you dare fucking tell me what to do,’ she charged at you, 'Don’t make it look like this is all my fault, that I need to be the bigger person.’
'Heli, stop it!’ Yuna surged forward and pushed her back. 'Just stop.’
'You’re always defending her!'
'And I always will! Because she has always put me above everything.’ Yuna’s voice broke. 'She picks up my phone calls and comes over when I don’t ask her to. Y/n sits down with me when I’m sad or fucked up or having a bad day. Y/n picks me up off the floor and dusts me off to move on. Y/n listens and fights and is never afraid to be honest with me. Helen, y/n does not make plans with me, y/n moves her plans around me, if necessary. I would do the same. That is how important she is. So between you and her…’ Yuna squeezed your hand, placing everything into her next words, ’it will always be her.’
Helen was dumbstruck. The last few years were the last few years, but this moment, this declaration – it devastated her.
You couldn’t see Yuna’s face, but you had a good idea of her level of determination from how sure she sounded. No remorse. No regrets.
'You’re my sister.’ Helen whispered. 'You’re my twin.’ Her face twisted into a mask of cruelty, her eyes betrayed her anguish, 'Yuna, I’m blood!’
‘Yuna –,’ you tugged on her hand to stop her from putting any more nails in the coffin.
'Blood has never determined family.’ You closed your eyes against Yuna’s statement. There was no coming back from this.
'I have always given you the benefit of the doubt, Heli. But y/n has never given you a reason to hate her. You just have. And then you built on it and built on it and generalized and harbored so much of these negative feelings. But I have given you enough compassion… at some point, it’s your character… and I can’t deal with it anymore.’ She sniffed and turned her nose to the floor. ‘I mean, I offered you a muffin and now they’re on the floor.’ A pause, then a painful whisper. ’Says a lot.’
The tension was thick, almost suffocating, but you couldn’t run, you couldn’t speak, you couldn’t stop her either.
'You are still my sister. You are still invited to my wedding.’ Yuna turned away to face the counter behind you. She stretched her arms across it to support herself. ‘I would very much like you there.'
You curled your own arm around one of hers and felt the tension bleed out of her.
Never taking your eyes off Helen, you watched as tears cascaded down her face, the wild panic in her gaze, a person that was well and truly lost. Her lips tightened, and she shook her head before whispering, 'You’ve made your choice.’
Against your better judgment, you wished to hug her, to hold her and reassure her that despite your role in Yuna’s life and how deep it went, she was Yuna’s twin, her sister, always would be.
You resisted the urge to suck in a harsh breath when she met your gaze. 'How does it feel? Princess!’ She spat the word, as if it was a slur. 'How does it feel to have everything?’
She swiped at her tears, removing evidence of her pain and her rage.
You didn’t have everything. More than most, you would admit. But not everything. You wanted to fix this, but how? How?! With no answer, no solution, you let yourself feel the words she threw at you and took full responsibility. It felt heavy, insanely heavy, a certain pressure in your chest as Helen Mei looked at you, as if you had shattered her heart.
'Remember it.’ A chill went up your spine at her tone, all traces of sadness replaced with vehemence. 'Remember the feeling for when you have nothing left.’
You watched her leave and felt a tear roll down your eye at the curse she’d thrown so easily. You wished, if there was a law in the universe that bad things shouldn’t happen to good people, despite the countless individuals that had to go through it to prove it wrong, you wouldn’t be one of them.
———–
Orbit. Anyone would think it a funny name for a nightclub. Anyone that didn’t know the owner, that is. But everyone knew Braelyn.
She was the wild Barbie of her three sisters and made good in her role by managing a thriving nightclub in the middle of the idol circle of Seoul.
Hazlyn, aka Hazey, was the moon, Candelyn, aka Clandy, the Earth and Braelyn, more commonly, Bree, was the sun that the two older sisters orbited.
Kenta looked into all three women when y/n started associating herself with them. A single father, moved to Seoul with his three young daughters, adored them, loved them and left them an equal share of all his money before passing peacefully in his sleep. Despite being foreigners, not born, but raised in the community, the women made their own circles that the elite and the known wanted to be in.
Kenta had to hand it to y/n. Business was business, make or break, but bonds stood firm. She had a knack for earning the handshake and head nods of people with potential, because she exercised an ability her father never could; impartiality. Kim Y/n gave respect to both the doorman and the boss, and it took her very far in her line of work.
In his prime, Sung Y/l/n, would not be caught dead, doing renovations for the “middle class”. High-rise, skyscrapers, towers with glass that shattered light, that was how far he reached – a contradiction to his down to Earth daughter.
But y/n backpedaled when she took over. Kenta could hear her now, “the bigger picture can only be done one portion at a time”. Four years and three renovations later, renovations that y/n quoted for less than half her actual price, Kim Y/n had three trusted, powerful women in her corner, should a favor ever need to be called.
Hazey’s Bar, Clandy’s Cafe, Bree’s Orbit, all regulars for the rich and famous. It helped that the locations lived up to their names.
The bar was quiet, steady, a night cap, a couple of stories, a way to look back or contemplate. The cafe was the day, collecting snippets of people’s daily lives and routines, short conversations and the before or after, for work headaches and hard days. The nightclub was where the memories were made, reckless abandon, emotions spilling over quite literally, and housing a number of regrets that led a person to the bar a couple roads away.
It shouldn’t seem that deep. It already was.
As Kenta walked through the empty dance floor, a contrast to the sea of bodies that usually riddled it, he couldn’t help admiring the handiwork of his charge.
Y/n was no copycat. No one he knew would add textured wallpaper in a deep burgundy and pair it with black trimmings. It would seem gaudy… and yet. The overhead lights, blue and white, danced across the skeleton of the black roof trusses and exposed scaffolding painted the same color. She had no fear in showcasing her originality and she had a better understanding of people’s energies than she gave herself credit for. The nightclub screamed Braelyn – a dark Barbie that would stab with her stiletto as easily as she would walk the runway with it.
Y/n wasn’t psychic. But Kenta had learned the hard way to trust y/n’s gut and her receptiveness to energy.
At a meeting when she was eighteen, and he wasn’t her designated bodyguard, y/n had to meet one of her fathers old clients, a woman in her late forties that owned several upscale salons and make-up artists that were well sought after. Y/n usually showed respect. She did just that, save for the furrowed brow and the fidgety fingers, y/n addressed the lady with utmost civility.
Kenta and y/n had their cordial interactions, and had seen each other on a daily basis for at least a year till that meeting. Of course he asked his boss’s daughter if something was wrong when it was adjourned.
Y/n merely shrugged, and muttered “she feels… off”. She left straight after. Upon further inspection, by his own means that Kenta would never admit to having access to, the woman had an appetite for young boys. A sickening, downgraded version of Mrs. Robinson, in Kenta’s opinion.
Right then, despite the nine year gap between them, Kenta learned to trust y/n more.
'Which VIP room did y/n book?’ Huru flanked Kenta, as they walked through the empty club, courtesy of the owner who was just upstairs in her office.
Bree would cause a rebellion over the type of vodka that should be used in any Blue Curaçao cocktail, but she would never question security, especially for her high-end clients.
Y/n happened to be a paying friend, she was as high-end as it got, before anyone made it to the sister circle.
'VIP 3.’ Kenta pointed it out. 'It’s the one on the far end, at the edge of the stage, where the DJ will set up tonight.’
'Isn’t that too loud?'
Kenta’s lip curved upwards on the right. 'They’re going to be too drunk to care.’ Settling back into his signature poker face, Kenta decided to pry. 'Why are you here?’
Kenta did these alone. He had no actual reason to believe anyone from Bree’s staff or Bree herself, would invade Yuna or Y/n’s privacy, but he could never be too careful. He would do a necessary check of the room, liaise with Orbit’s security for the night, who would clock in anytime after 3pm to do their rounds, and confer with his team. He would touch all bases.
'Scoping out the area.’ Huru glanced up to the second floor and further. The ceiling was in the shape of a pyramid, the point at the most central part above the dancefloor. Huru definitely noticed that Bree’s main office sat behind an incline of the stained glass ceiling, a hidden third floor, an easy way to observe. He made no comment about it. 'I’ve never been to this place and I don’t have other jobs lined up.’ He met Kenta’s eyes. 'So why not?’
Kenta let it fly for now. He had a job to do. Entering the room he reminded himself to be thorough considering one of his favorite human’s and the love of his life would be partying where he stood. And he’d be damned if he didn’t keep them safe.
It was pretty standard, except for the pink… everything. The couches were pink. The champagne flutes and ice bucket were pink. The fucking bottles of alcohol lining the bar on the left, pink only. He almost smirked at the face y/n would make as she sipped on any of the pink stuff. Y/n was by far the most tomboyish person he’d ever met, and yet she pulled off the ice-queen thing perfectly. He smiled inwardly. She was anything but.
A sudden wave of protectiveness ensnared him. He would rather be on the job tonight. But his best men were adamant about him doing a bachelor party and he would not refuse his new found family.
It would be fine. His team would take over, and he would trust them. Zwahn, Yeon, Kiri, Xan, and Yoshi would lead. He’d sent Jinx back into training to get her ass handed to her by Sylo.
Xan was the most inexperienced and the youngest, but he’d be in the club, as the playboy looking for a good fuck. Zwahn was already filling in for a bouncer; Yeon by his side. Kiri would be bartending, and Yoshi would do what Kenta did, make sure everyone was in place. Kenta sipped water that looked like vodka in settings like these and chose the top floors to scope out everyone’s position. It was easy for him to be eyes and ears. He liked it. More importantly, Yoshi was at home in Kenta’s shadow.
Although…Kenta spared a side glance to the other male he had grown to afford a significant amount of trust, Huru had asked y/n for Kenta’s position already.
If recent encounters were anything to judge by, Kenta was almost sure, y/n would agree to it.
It’s not that he was against the idea. Huru by all means, could handle y/n’s protection. He had a black belt in taekwondo, knew his weapons on sight and could watch people without getting antsy. But Kenta had never just protected y/n.
Y/n at eighteen, was a quiet woman that worked hard with her head down and listened to her father. Y/n, at nineteen, because of a man drunk on power, had to become a fully grown mature woman, robbed of the perks a young adult life had to offer. Y/n at twenty something took over said father. Y/n by herself, ate less, barely had any social interaction outside of work and lost herself. Kenta forced food toward her when she forgot to eat or didn’t eat. Kenta carried y/n from her office chair to the couch and covered her with a throw blanket when she fell asleep at her desk. Kenta pulled y/n out of the crowds and hid her from view when she had a panic attack. He knew about Namjoon first. He knew about Hoseok first. He knew her favorite foods and her countless ill-timed reactions, her temper tantrums, any health problems, her past, her parents, her company growth, Kenta was not just a bodyguard and Kenta did not have a problem with another bodyguard.
He had a problem with anyone, including Huru, ever taking his place with y/n.
It was an immature thought, an insecure one. So he would assure himself. Regardless of who she picked or how many, the minute he wanted back in, she would allow it.
That was not at the forefront of his concerns, though. Kenta especially had a problem with Huru learning y/n’s secrets and about her mindless babbling, and her incoherent sentences when she cried at the drop of a hat. But not because Huru, robot-like as he was, wouldn’t react in the correct manner or show sympathy, of course there was that minor detail, but really, Huru paid too much attention to y/n. Huru took to y/n. Huru had never taken to anyone.
Y/n would never cheat, but temptation was a bitch and Huru cared a little too much than Kenta was comfortable with. Most importantly, though he would never admit it, he didn’t want anyone seeing y/n that vulnerable and developing a need to protect her. He knew firsthand.
‘I’m not keen on broaching this subject, but I have to.’ Kenta started his search on the lining of the door frame. ‘Why are you so invested in y/n?’
Huru averted his gaze, making his way to the opposite end of the room. Avoiding eye contact. Hmm. Probably one of the most human things he’d done today. Kenta wasn’t even sure the man’s lungs took a breath without controlled precision.
‘I –,’
‘Anddon’t bullshit me.’ Kenta cut him off when he started. 'I know you better than you think I do.’
And skirting around the truth did absolutely fuckall.
Kenta may have been the subordinate within the organization once upon a time, but this was his world now.
They had a mini stare down before Huru sighed, his body going lax. ‘She’s… intriguing.’
Huru and Kenta were mismatched. Kenta got into Sylo’s company the same year Huru branched out on his own. Huru was two years his senior and taught Kenta the ins and outs till he said his goodbyes. The only reason they actually got along, was because of their aversion to people and kissing ass.
‘As far as I know, no one, nothing, has ever intrigued you.’ Of course, in the beginning, Kenta didn’t take kindly to Huru’s superiority, and Huru wanted to smack Kenta upside the head for his disrespect.
Yuna had fun hearing the stories, a true writer in her own right, took crib notes of their original characters and character development. Kenta would have to keep an eye out for a bodyguard script some time in the future.
Huru’s lips curved slightly on one end, it was as close to a smirk as he’d get. ‘Can you blame me?’ As they circled each other in the room, and went about their business, it seemed incidental, but both men out of habit kept their backs away from each other, like two alphas seconds away from pouncing. ‘Considering how protective you are, trying to ask me something without actually asking… you understand that she’s worth the time. You care.’
‘She is important.’ Kenta agreed. He would never refute the simple fact. He got on his knees to check underneath the inside of the bar, and around the many shades of pink bottles.
‘She’s trouble and very stubborn.’
Kenta fought the urge to smile, but not from amusement. He just knew damn well how much trouble she could be. ‘She’s gotten under your skin.’
Kenta immediately scowled in disapproval after he said the words. Huru was dangerous and his controlling nature was a front for a dark obsession if ever he had one. He wouldn’t presume anything yet, but it was concerning that Huru didn’t bother to deny or hide it. ‘Regardless, I’m finding it hard to fathom your growing interest in her, going as far as to offer yourself up for my position.’
Huru liked the shadows, flexible ties or none at all. It’s why he traveled, moved coast to coast, and blended in. Being Kim Y/n’s bodyguard, was the opposite of blending in. It was also an indication of how far Huru’s fixation went. But how far was he willing to go, before giving up?
‘Am I overstepping?’
‘With me, no.’ Kenta lied. Huru didn’t need to know that. They were not so close that Kenta would confess his fear of losing his place with y/n. 'But I believe, with your skill and experience… It’s a downgrade.’ Truth be told, they weren’t close. In their line of work trust was akin to gold; Kenta and Huru knew each other’s abilities. Huru was an expert sniper, Kenta was specialist in hand-to-hand combat, one preferred guns, the other knives, should an intruder walk in, they would be able to handle him without words. That was as close as it got.
However,’ Kenta straightened up. 'You overstepped when you insulted the leader in front of his band and his wife.’
Jungkook, usually the most complacent of all seven members, was lethal in his curiosity. Huru, the PI, was already a known and unspoken, undesirable individual. Namjoon was Alpha. His pack, especially the most loyal, wouldn’t take kindly to any threat of their Alpha.
And so the youngest, instead of cornering y/n or comforting his leader hyung, came after Kenta, the source. The maknae was smarter and sharper than he was given credit for. He had no qualms in giving Kenta a play by play, and voicing his concerns over the interactions he’d witnessed within the board room.
Huru shot Kenta a dark look. ‘The self-righteous leader doesn’t appreciate what he has.’
‘And you feel you will?’ Kenta couldn’t keep the challenge out of his voice. He felt a twinge of annoyance at the jab and felt protective over y/n and her relationship. Kim Namjoon was not under the impression that he was superior by any means, unless he was playing his part of RM.
'Don’t accuse me. I haven’t pursued her. But, make no mistake, Kenta, my woman, whoever she may be… is mine, I wouldn’t cheat on her.'
Well… fuck.
Huru and Kenta were both beyond beating around the bush and beyond lies. But hearing a confirmation made Kenta wary. Huru might actually like, y/n.
As Huru pulled up the blueprint of the club on his phone, Kenta sidled up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. ‘I trust y/n. But she is vulnerable, right now. The last thing anyone needs is a picture of what “can be”.’
Huru pinned him with a look. ‘At least, you agree I would treat her better.'
Kenta wanted to dispute him, but the fact remained, that Namjoon had cheated on her. Any defense against it would be a waste of time.
Sensing Kenta’s uneasiness, Huru dropped the eye contact once more and Kenta’s hand fell away. 'I won’t make her cheat on her husband Kenta. If you didn’t already know, she has stars in her eyes for the leader.’
Kenta frowned, not only at the condescension laced in the two words. ‘It’s that deep.’ Somehow a statement and a question.
‘Truthfully, no.’ Huru blinked. 'But she has a nice smile. And she makes me pause.’ a shadow fell over his features. 'It’s disconcerting.'
Kenta could imagine it was. Yuna did that to him. Sure, he smiled at the guys, y/n especially, he was himself with them. But it only happened over time, over experiences and memories and conversations. With Yuna, Kenta had never been able to get a good grip on his emotions. She caused a tick in his jaw, and his eye twitched under his dark sunglasses when she went above and beyond to piss him off. Like her best friend, Yuna didn’t do well with orders. And unlike y/n, who stayed away from men, Yuna got the blood raging under Kentas skin, to knock the teeth out of the mouth of every fucking prick she dated and do even worse to the sleazebags in the entertainment industry that tried to get into her panties.
Shelving his fury at past encounters that still enraged him, he could admit to himself that he wanted her. Every part of every minute, every day. He wanted to kiss Yuna and claim her and protect her in any way he could. Yuna was fucking frustrating and loud, she loved pink and shopping and she had high standards. She didn’t keep up an outward persona like y/n. What you see, is what you get. If she hated a cupcake, she would frown, if she loved a series she’d be content, if Yuna loved, she loved with all her heart, and if she hated, she had no trouble in making it known.
Kenta had exercised his emotions for the better part of his life, but Yuna steamrolled those fortified walls, causing him to feel something fierce, and he still didn’t know how to navigate the waters. He didn’t know how to be… normal. Hell, the idea of standing at the foot of that aisle in a tailored suit and polished shoes, and preparing for a waltz of all things, it all almost had him bolting to the hills when he had never considered it an option before. But he wanted Yuna. So he would do it all. He would figure it out. He would learn how to be a husband and someday a great father. He would leave his old life behind and transition to something new.
'Any other day, I would be very happy for you. But not, y/n.’ He was sincere in both his support and his underlying threat.
'Your disapproval is so heavy, Kenta.’ Huru’s voice dripped with sarcasm. ‘You shouldn’t be worrying about such things when you’re getting married in a day.’
Kenta ignored him. Everyone underestimated his role in Y/n’s life – they learned the hard way. Taking Huru’s phone, he swiped on the blueprints of the club and refreshed his memory, noting the entrances and emergency exits. He already had a visual on where his team would be positioned.
He pulled out his own phone to text his team… and stopped. Yoshi would be leading sooner rather than later. It would be prudent to allow him to take the lead.
'What if she’s not happy anymore, Ken?’ Kenta lifted his head to find Huru at the bar, a bottle of vodka that looked entirely too expensive to open in his hand. 'What then?'
Huru still hadn’t made eye contact for more than a couple of seconds. Kenta relied on eye contact. For once, he was unsure of Huru and his line of thinking, which made foreshadowing his actions impossible. 'Doesn’t mean you will make her happy.'
'You don’t know that.'
Kenta bristled. Huru was asking to get punched. 'I do know.’ He did. Without a doubt. 'I know y/n. I know she only has eyes for Namjoon.’ Done with the bullshit, Kenta bypassed the tension and set the record straight. 'She gives you time of day, because y/n likes puzzles. Her foundation of Kim Y/n is built on emotion. So your robot-like nature makes her want to poke, till you snap your teeth at her. She is being friendly and trusting because she trusts me. Do not break that trust. Do not make me regret ever including you in her life. You are not Kim Namjoon, Huru. You cannot ever overstep with Kim Y/n. He is her heart. He is a part of her.’
Huru stepped up to him. 'I have no intention of shaming you. You can trust me to take care of her. I will. I am capable of protecting her.’
'That’s up to her to choose.’
‘Now, whose bullshitting?’ Huru called him out. ‘She would say yes or no, depending on your decision.’
Damn straight.
‘Maybe,’ Kenta neither confirmed or denied it. ’But know this, she will stay in her marriage and she will only be whole with Namjoon. She’s forgiven him… It’s only a matter of time that they continue to build on an already solid foundation. All that said, there doesn’t seem to be any room for you in that picture. So if you do anything to hurt her emotionally, if you do anything to fuck with her mentally…’
Kenta didn’t finish his sentence. Truly, he didn’t know what he would do. But it would be a bloodbath if Huru and Kenta ever came to blows. And in any battlefield he would be on the side of his family. The band. Namjoon. Hoseok. Yuna. Y/n.
‘You think so little of me.’
Huru didn’t sound offended. Kenta would be if the roles were reversed, but the stakes were too high for him to care. Anything Kim Y/n related was personal. ‘A bodyguard’s role is to protect, defend and evacuate,’ Kenta stood at his full height and let Huru read him loud and clear, ‘you are one wrong word away from identifying yourself as a threat.’
Huru’s grip on the bottle tightened, before he reined himself in. 'That’s that then.’ Huru turned on his heel and set the bottle down, and spent more than a few seconds, turning the label to face the front. 'Ken,’ he released a pent-up breath. 'I may be wrong. But… from what I gather about your ice-queen and the way she thinks … she’s forgiven her husband, as you say…but…’ The stark honesty in Huru’s gaze when he lifted his head and his words thereafter, turned the blood in Kenta’s veins to ice. 'Will she be able to forgive herself for staying?’
Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.
Warning - Cheating(Aftermath); Borderline Smut;
Word Count - 4.6k
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During the course of the day, tensions settled somewhat since the meeting that morning. Having a wedding around the corner, being deep in planning and helping out, as well as feeling the aftereffects of the tempest of y/n and Namjoon’s relationship, Jin made the decision to have a huge supper at the dorm.
When ordering out, it was ideal to get food from one location. But since the band felt more like a band after the meeting earlier, Jin decided everyone should get their preference.
Chaos ensued during the decision making with seven different menus going around the room, but eventually Jin and Namjoon got everyone’s orders and had food on its way from no less than four restaurants.
Going their separate ways for the moment, Namjoon currently hovered near the entrance of the dorm with Jimin across from him. God knows how he was left to do collections, when he was the klutz.
‘How likely is it for a fashion emergency to happen at the wedding?’
Namjoon looked up from his phone. He was aimlessly scrolling through his texts and watching the time tick by. Secretly, he hoped the pizzas that were ordered would be delivered after thirty minutes, so they could get it free.
Y/n would make fun of him for being a millionaire and yet biding his time for free pizza, but old habits die hard and some things help keep a person grounded. For some it was memories that backtracked to the days ago where the position and lifestyle and financial standing was difficult, for some it was reminding themselves to save for a rainy day, like a trauma response to deal with the guilt of overspending, for some, like Namjoon, it was the Earth and the rain and y/n and a free pizza.
Namjoon had no doubt in his mind that Jin had his timer on his watch set as well.
'Well, the odds are pretty slim, considering how meticulous y/n and Yuna are about their clothing and that you and Tae will be handling the final touches of everyone’s outfits and approving before we leave our respective rooms.’ Namjoon watched Jimin scarf down his alcohol in one gulp as if it was water, 'but then again, anything can happen.’
Jimin shook his head, a frown playing on his features. 'I feel a bit useless. We just have the outfits to cover.’ He looked at Namjoon pointedly. 'Which, of course, is important. But once the ceremony is going on, and after, what then?’
Namjoon regarded his dongsaeng for a minute. He knew why y/n kept the soulmates free. They were a wild card and a soothing presence, Taehyung and Jimin, in that order. Which meant they could stand in, handle, inform, and save any situation, any issue, any problem that made itself known.
Jimin could calm anyone down, clear a fight, provide clarity, anything the wedding party would require. Taehyung was a charmer, he would handle guests, he would maneuver his way through the technical roles such as the photography and the music and still keep up a playful ruse.
'I think y/n is using you both as safety nets, should anything happen.’ Namjoon had no qualms in saying it out loud. 'She relies and trusts the both of you.’
Jimin grimaced. 'Hyung, I’m drinking right now. You and I both know, I don’t need a reason to be emotional.’
'Kinda late for that considering how the day has gone.’ Namjoon regarded himself and shook his head at the memories. 'I need a drink or two myself.’
'Don’t berate yourself, hyung.’ Jimin picked his glass up, and held it against the light, 'I’ll tell on you.’
Namjoon did not want that. He wasn’t a pussy. But y/n was a force to be reckoned with, and he’d already used his quota of overruling her for the day. 'It just feels premature.’
Neither of them needed to clarify what the leader was talking about.
'It’s life. Whatever has to happen next, will happen. We just have to… control our emotions. I wish I could switch mine off.’ Jimin added as an afterthought.
'Hey,’ Namjoon straightened his posture, 'emotions have always been your strength.’
'Yeah,’ Jimin’s expression dulled, despite the pep his alcohol should have provided. 'Things have been wack these days, I just want to drink and eat good food, and call it a night.’
Namjoon felt a crease from between his eyebrows. 'What’s the matter with you?’ Somehow this felt less about the band and more about Jimin. Even during the meeting, he wasn’t his usual, opinionated self.
Besides the meeting, Jimin didn’t hide his feelings, nor did he talk about them as if they were a hindrance. He was the most emotional of all the members. Clearly, something else was going on for the male to be so wound up.
'Nothing,’ his dongsaeng, shrugged, but he didn’t look Namjoon in the eye. A clear lie.
'Come on, Chim,’ Namjoon urged, 'you can talk to me.’
Come to think of it, Jimin was missing his sass and his attitude. It was that extra pop in his presence that captured attention and kept him on the fence of both his soft and hard personalities.
But tonight, Jimin’s bags showed under his eyes, he looked… dare Namjoon think the word, but Jimin looked thin, and somehow, if it made any sense to anyone at all, Jimin looked older, like a male in his late twenties, no longer Namjoon’s softest maknae.
No. This was a man that had something going on. That had nothing to do with any of his brothers.
Jimin opened his mouth to answer when – 'Namjoon,’ y/n called from above them, as she leaned over the balustrade, 'a minute please.’
'I’ll be up in a sec,’ Namjoon instinctively called back.
Wait. This was it… wasn’t it. This was what he did all the time. Y/n always had to wait, had to come second, had to be patient.
When y/n called or needed something, Namjoon didn’t always drop everything and leave. And she didn’t complain, nor did she ask for explanations.
This was why there was insecurity in her heart.
But, he looked at Jimin, his dongsaeng, who he’d just had a big fight with and was going to confide in Namjoon…
As if making a decision for his hyung, Jimin motioned to y/n with his empty glass, Jimin mouthed the word 'Later.’
Namjoon hesitated, 'Are you sure?’
A curt nod. 'Later. Promise.’
Namjoon was not convinced but he filed a reminder in his brain to circle back to Jimin once the night was over.
He trudged up the stairs to where y/n entered the home gym, through the door next to Jungkook’s.
When he walked in, y/n was pacing and immediately his adrenaline skyrocketed. He eyed her form, noting her hair, no marks, no physical hurt, no objects around her were broken, that was good… but something was clearly wrong.
But he didn’t show his anxiety. He didn’t dare show it. This was a response he’d have to handle.
For all he knew, she could be stressed about the wedding or Yuna or really anything in the world, it didn’t mean she was pissed at him, or that she was leaving him.
He shut the door behind him and closed his eyes for a second. Breathe, Namjoon. Breathe.
He cleared his throat and turned around to face his wife, 'Y/n?’
She stopped pacing, crossed her arms and nodded her head slowly, as if putting pieces together in her brain. That was nothelping.He immediately knew he did something wrong. But what?
'So,’well fuck that tone, 'I had to visit the office this morning.’ She motioned to him, 'as you know.’
He nodded, his eyes wide and biding the seconds through the suspense in the air.
'You see, Ria got some feedback…’ she narrowed her eyes, 'on the materials I was compensated for, some time ago,’ her tongue poked her cheek, 'and apparently these suppliers were visited by lawyers, big-shot, no-nonsense kinda lawyers.’ Fuck. Double fuck.
She walked slowly toward him and he resisted the urge to step back as her tone grazed over his body like a velvet cover on a sharp-edged knife. 'Do you think it’s fair… that you didn’t tell me about this?’
He wouldn’t bother lying. He wouldn’t lie to her. He didn’t do it when he cheated. He wouldn’t do it over something like this. 'We weren’t talking y/n.’
She threw her hands up in the air. 'So you’re gonna fight my battles for me. Like what,’ she narrowed her eyes, 'some damsel in distress.’ She spat the words, as if it was the biggest insult.
'It’s not like that!’ He protested. Fuck no. He didn’t like it when she was upset, but he would never ever disrespect her independence. 'They fucked up your order, I wanted to get your money back. That’s it.’
She ran her fingers through her hair, looking away from him and back. 'I would have taken the loss Namjoon. I didn’t ask for you to step in. You’ve never overstepped like this before.’ Her jaw clenched, as if reigning in her emotions.
He knew of the line she spoke of. He never meddled with the affairs of her company, just like she held her tongue about his idol life until they were behind closed doors. But he wouldn’t back down.
'You were already stressed out about me, y/n,’ he pointed to himself, 'I wanted to help and I knew you wouldn’t have let me.’
'So instead of offering help, you went behind my back instead?’ She spread her arms wide.
Oh. Stones. They were throwing stones. Okay. Unable to help himself he replied through his teeth. 'The same way you spoke to Heeyoung without informing me.’
A momentary pause. 'That has nothing to do with this.’
'Like hell! It’s the same situation.’ He stalked her this time. 'I wanted to save you without you knowing and I did. You wanted to protect our family without me knowing and you did.’
'Namjoon –,’ she moved back, trying to maintain distance from him.
He knew why. He was her kryptonite. He was always her kryptonite. His scent. His face. His presence. His cock. The unwavering, ice queen melted only with him. And he fucking loved it. She knew, she knew, he would always give as good as he got from her. But he was not in a mood to play. Not yet.
'Are you sure this is about the materials?’ He backed her against the wall and placed a hand above her head.
'What?’ Her eyes flashed. Fuck. He would never get over her. He towered her, and yet she tipped, her chin up, relentless and unyielding.
He got his cock and the brain cells connected to it under control somehow. 'Are you not mad about the article or about the discussion earlier and you’re just projecting?’
'Don’t fucking discount the validity of my feelings!’ A hard shove from her took him by surprise, but he didn’t go far. 'I’ve told you enough times that I am not mad about the article. And the decision about Maiya is done.’ She made a cut off motion with her hand.
'I feel like you’re lying.’ He believed her. He believed she believed what she was saying. But after the breakdown she’d had and the shortcomings he’d realized, he would rather make sure. And the only way to get anything out of y/n when she was in denial, was by pushing her.
It wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t very healthy either. But he refused to go backwards.
'Oh for fucks sake!’ She grabbed onto his lapels and tried to bring herself to his height pushing herself to her tiptoes. 'Namjoon,’ she softened her tone, his name a caress, 'the party was fake. Everything you did… was fake. You told me. Jin told me. Yoongi told me. The maknaes told me. Even Kenta vouched for you, that the whole thing was fake. And I kinda knew.’ Tired, she sat back on her heels and looked away.
'But Maiya wasn’t fake. I was mad about Maiya and I hated that article because I know it wasn’t fake, she actually had your cock in her mouth and she flaunted it.’
She pulled away from him, and faced the window on her right. She hugged herself as she watched the city lights below her.
'You’re an idol Namjoon. You’re a freaking loved idol. Some women are actually crazy enough to kill me to make sure you’re available for the off chance that you could fall for them. There’s not much that can scare you about the media after six years. So the article.’ She clicked her tongue, much like his Yoongi hyung would, after a nonsense statement, 'sand through my hand.’
Meaning it had already fallen through the cracks of her fingers and would not be picked up again.
His hands found her hips, and pulled her body flush against him. One, because he knew her quick fuse was almost out, and two, because he couldn’t bear to not hold her in his arms. As far as he knew, she was in his imagination, a figment, a dream he never wanted to wake up from.
'I’m sorry, for accusing you.’ He placed a chaste peck on her exposed shoulder. 'I’m just rattled. I’m just,’ he closed his eyes ‘… Fuck!’
He hid his face in her hair. How did he explain? That he was being himself, as he was before the cheating, but still didn’t know if he was saying the right things, doing the right things, making it worse, pushing her away…
He felt her turn in his hold and placed gentle fingers on his nape. 'Scared,’ she whispered against his lips, when he opened his eyes to look at her. 'I know. I caused this. And I’m sorry it’s become this voice in your head.’ She placed her forehead against his jaw, 'but I am telling the truth. I am not mad about that article. Our family discussed things today… and made a choice. I have to accept that, even if it breaks my heart.’
He inhaled her scent, and reveled in her touch, she held herself to him, she held him to the Earth.
'We have the weight of our world on our shoulders, Joon. If I’m not honest with you, especially about my feelings, all of this is for nothing.’
He flexed his hand on her hip, enjoying the feel of her, the proximity, she responded by getting closer. 'I’m sorry for going to see Heeyoung behind your back.’
'I’m sorry for threatening your suppliers behind yours.’ His fingers grazed the edge of her waistline, the exposed skin forming tiny bumps of goose flesh.
'Oreos?’ She moved her head back and forth, brushing her hair against his jawline.
'Coffee.’ He replied instantly, feeling… safe and somehow feeling… claimed.
He felt her fingers lock behind his neck and he pulled her flush against him.
'So…’ she lifted her head, 'how much did it cost to get the studio lawyers to handle the legalities?’
He almost smiled at her stubbornness. 'If I don’t tell you, you’ll phone Ji-ho and compensate me accordingly anyway.’
She shook her head. ‘Arem will.’
Hmm. 'Arem paying RM.’ He snorted at the homophone and conceded. 'I’ll get you the figures.’
She tilted her head to the side and smirked at him.
'What?’ He brushed his lips against her forehead, curious to know what was going through his head.
'RM. Real Me.’
He scrunched his eyebrows. 'What about it?’
'I mean, it could stand for… other things.’
'Like?’
Her hand moved to cup his cheek, and she tipped up her head to speak against his lips.
'I feel it’s more like… Rail Me.’
He closed his eyes and let out a groan. 'I should get sainthood for having any sort of willpower against you.’
She peppered kisses along his jaw, ’… if you didn’t have willpower… what would you do?’
His hand splayed across her back, keeping her flush against him, his other hand cupped her ass. 'Are we really doing this?’ He growled. 'After our conversation yesterday? Are you sure? You have to be sure.’
'I am.’
He searched her face for any indication, anything at all, that refuted her consent.
'Y/n…’ He breathed.
'No. No more waiting. I’m doing what you asked.’
He wanted to listen to her, he wanted her, but he would not get this wrong, 'I don’t think you’re ready to sleep with me again, baby.’
'But that,’ she nipped at him, 'is up to me. Right?’
Her bite, as light as it was, made its way straight to his cock and he answered with it in mind. 'Right.’
Not waiting for any further explanation, she continued, 'So tell me, what would you do if you didn’t have willpower.’
He pressed his hand to the glass behind her and pushed her up against it, caging her in. A masculine part of him stretched languidly at his actions, that part of him watching, and waiting, and willing for more. 'I can’t hold back, y/n,’ he ground out, 'it’s been too long without you…’
'Namjoon.’ Her hands moved to tug on his hair. ‘What would you do to me?’
His fingers curled around her nape, and he responded with the two words that started this. 'I’d rail you.’
Unphased, she moved her hands to his chest, enjoying the feel of him, 'Jin will not be very happy,’ she rubbed her cheek on his jaw, 'with us doing it on the gym floor.’ Pulling back, she bit her lip, aiming to tease, and succeeding. 'Think of his carpets.’
'The carpets and my hyung,’ he hissed, 'are the last things on my mind… when you’re biting your lip the way you are.’
'You don’t play fair, either.’ He felt her leg curl around his calf. 'Do you have any idea how good you look in black?’
'Don’t throw stones baby,’ his freehand moved to brush a finger across her nipple, 'you’re not using a bra under this shirt.’
He elicited a gasp from her. 'Because I had a sweater over this.’
'… and now your nipples are poking through your shirt. What if I bit one of them right now?’ He whispered.
She clearly didn’t think through her response. 'Why don’t you?’
His eyes snapped to hers. 'Don’t push me. Your dirty mouth has been crossing lines even before today.’ He pulled back, trying to leash his harsh tone, 'I don’t want to hurt you, y/n.’
'Aww, but you said I had pretty lips yesterday.’
His pulse hammered, he could feel he thrum of it, because the fucking sass on this woman. His woman. 'They get you in your fair share of trouble.’ He didn’t bother to bring back the last time they spoke about her lips. Then again, the separation of the two subject matters seemed to help.
'You never had a problem with that.’ Desire coated her gaze, dripping from her words. He wanted to rip her clothes off and make good on his word for baiting him.
'I don’t. It makes sinking my cock into you much more enjoyable.’ He flexed the palm at her head, as it rested against the window. If he wrapped it in her hair, this would be over. She would be on the floor, legs spread and she wouldn’t stop him.
She leaned back, dropping her head against the glass, 'Joon.’ The mental image didn’t help him either, if the tightness in his pants was any indication.
She was so close. Her knee between his legs, just barely reaching his hard on. Her one hand on his chest, the other cradling his jaw.
He rubbed his jaw along her chest, 'Fuck, I miss touching you. And I miss being inside you.’
She shivered as her lips parted and her breaths became uneven.
He pressed an open mouthed kiss on the base of her neck and when her fingers clawed at his back, he felt it through his shirt. Y/n, as independent as she was, enjoyed submitting. That didn’t mean she would ever come quietly.
Biting the juncture between her shoulder and neck to reprimand her, her body arched against him.
'Baby,’ he whispered, trailing his nose along her jaw, and stopping directly in front of her lips. 'Tell me to stop. If this isn’t working and it’s not good for you…. tell me to stop.’
She answered by leaning forward to kiss his forehead and made her way down to his lips.
Her gentleness was just a ruse, he soon found out, when she teased his front with her nails. His hips jerked in a slight reaction.
He growled, ‘You’ll pay for that.’ He made her do exactly that when he moved his head and bit her nipple through her shirt.
Her back arched, inadvertently pushing her breasts closer. 'Namjoon,’ she inhaled sharply at the sting, but she leaned further into him.
‘Say my name just like that.’ Her hands moved to cradle his head as he sucked hard at the nipple that was between his teeth. She moaned this time, and the sound went straight to his throbbing cock.
This was heaven for Namjoon. His brain brought up a surge of memories of his wife being vulnerable and open and pliant, her moans and her screams, calling out his name like a mantra, the tears that were caused by the overwhelming pleasure and love they shared… Only he had that right, only he had that claim, no one was ever allowed to have her like this.
It only just occurred to him when he saw how easily she let him in, that her body would be pining for him as much as he was for her.
And if the rush of sensation would overwhelm her with pleasure, help her fight her thoughts and her demons, he’d be damned if he didn’t do a good job of it.
Truth be told, he wanted to reach between them and shove his fingers into her panties, but he knew she’d be wet and ready, and he would probably go insane. He was a law unto himself when Y/n was involved. His logic, calm, clarity… all out the fucking window.
So he fought for his control as he reached for her neglected nipple and played with the hard bud with his fingers.
She whimpered when he pinched hard and she tightened her hold in retaliation. 'Fucking tease.’
He felt his lips lift at the corners. God, he loved her, and he loved her breasts. He loved her ass and he loved y/n and he loved so many more things, but her breasts in his hands, in his hold, fuck they were so sexy, she was so sexy.
He let go and used both thumbs to rub across both nipples flicking hard.
'Fuck,’ she groaned, letting him do whatever he wanted, as he wanted, but not for long.
Y/n was not an easy lover, she would beg, and whimper, and give and give and keep giving, but she also knew when to bite, when to demand, and when to take when she wanted.
She tugged hard at the strands of his hair so he met her eyes and no one, not even the voice in his mind could dispute the fire and the need in them.
Deep inside of him, elation broke through the haze of arousal, because his lover, his wife, his y/n was coming back to him. This was all her. And she was allhis.
'Catch.’ She hopped, and he instinctively caught both her legs, crossing them over his thighs and pulled her further into the heat of his body.
He took advantage, the feel of her fueling him, and pushed his hard on at the softness between her legs, rocking his hips into hers in a harsh motion. ‘Fuck,’ he groaned. And he did it again when she cried out.
He loved her moans and her cries, it drove him in a way nothing else would in the bedroom. Chasing her pleasure, chasing her release, watching her come undone under, so uniquely satisfying.
As he rocked into her, teasing, their breaths mingling, his cock threatening to burst out of his pants, he realized how far this was going.
If he didn’t stop… but he couldn’t think, he couldn’t think of the logic that they were in the gym, at the dorm, that he was fueling a need they both held back from and craved for so long, there was no stopping if he continued. He ground against her core anyway, and her back arched harshly against the glass, her head thrown back, her eyes closed, completely lost in the sensations he was causing. She chased her high with his ministrations.
When she finally opened her eyes, he saw the frustration, and reveled in it, because y/n was no longer teasing. She was not toying with him. She wanted to cum. He resisted the urge to plaster a feral smirk on his face at the satisfaction.
She wrapped her arms around his back and surged forward, squeezing his backside with her crossed legs, stopping a hair’s breadth away from his lips, her tongue running across the bottom one, 'Kiss me.’
Thank fuck. She was breathless and needy and all his. He wanted to kiss her. To taste her. To mark her –
'Hyung, the food is – AH!’
Her legs dropped from around his waist, as they broke apart. Only his hands on her ass kept her upright against him, or she would have fallen flat when Jimin walked in.
'Fuck!’ He growled out in frustration, as the hyung of the maknae line walked out the same door before it could swing shut.
Namjoon was breathing hard against her forehead, and y/n was in no better shape, her chest rose and fell at a rapid pace, her pupils blown wide with arousal. Neither of them went after Jimin.
The thought only came to him, when the momentary fog faded, whispers of their arousal still dancing around them.
He knew this fear, the apprehension he tried not to show. After dancing around each other for so long, would it be too soon to play a happy couple, would it be weird for any of their family to see them kissing or doing more than the hugs and the hand holding.
The last thing they wanted was to make anyone uncomfortable. ‘Steady?’ he asked her, but it came out more like a rumble.
She licked her bottom lip, a breathless, ‘Yeah,’ leaving her lips and he dropped his hands.
He nodded and swallowed hard, ‘Go on ahead, I, uh… I need a minute.’ He placed a hand on the glass in front of him, sinking into the cool touch at his fingertips as he tried to get his raging hard on under control. They were literally going to have sex in the gym of dorm.
A knowing smirk formed on her lips and she moved completely out of his arms to follow their maknae, but before she could take a step to the door, they heard Jimin from down the hall.
'Jin hyung! Y/n and Namjoon hyung are being ugly in the gym!’
He looked at y/n, at the same time she turned to him and their eye contact was immediate, Matching grins broke out a second later.
Y/n dropped her head onto his chest and he felt the vibrations of her laughter as she relaxed into him again.
He enclosed her in his embrace as warmth bloomed in his chest at the sound, her laughter curling around his heart like a blanket. This was y/n, this was his wife, this was home. The moment may have been ruined. But it would happen again, he’d have a lifetime to prove his love to her.
'Jin hyung’s gonna kill us,’ he murmured against her hair.
'Nope.’ She giggled, unrepentant, 'Jin’s gonna kill you.’
Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.
Warning - Cheating(Aftermath);
Word Count - 6.3k
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A/N - Additional Warning - The topics in the following update hit closer to home for some of us than I care to admit. Should the concept of future disbandment be a trigger, I suggest treading carefully.
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‘No, you’re incorrect, you fuck!’ You slammed the damned laptop closed after trying your password three times.
You glared in Jimin’s direction and your hand twitched for the stapler when you heard his loud convulsive laughter from opposite the table.
Instead of following through, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. 'Jiminie,’ you placed a saccharine smile on your face, still not opening your eyes, 'shut the fuckup.’
For the life of you, you couldn’t remember your password. It was muscle memory for the longest time and the desktop showed up on its own some days. But today, when you actually needed to get into the work laptop, you couldn’t remember your password.
'What do you expect me to do, when you react like that. It’s entertaining to me.’
You frowned, but didn’t reply. A part of you was happy you made him laugh, but your more serious side needed to know what your executive assistant was up your ass about. Ria had been blowing up your phone all morning. The woman was supposed to be enjoying her Christmas holidays away from the snow in the bustle of Mumbai and yet, she was texting you at odd hours of the morning to check your mail.
A part of you felt ashamed, being a business owner meant that work didn’t stop and there should always be an open door for communication, but your last few weeks were a whirlwind to say the least and your first baby, your Arem, was being neglected.
The company was still standing, of course, you had the best staff, a loyal right-hand like Ria and a legal and PR team at the ready, but it deserved more attention when the new year kicked off.
'Close your eyes and do it.’ Jimin suggested from his sunk-in position in the office chair. His back was going to hurt later.
'Yeah, if it’s muscle memory, it’ll work.’ Tae backed him up from his position on the couch, at your right, his finger swiping aimlessly on one of his socials.
The soulmates had accompanied you to work, which wouldn’t even be an option if Ria just fucking told you what the issue was. The problem arose when you realized your work email wasn’t signed in on your phone. So work was the next best bet, because your work email was signed onto the work laptop. Usually you’d sync the devices, but it wasn’t working for some reason. And the only device automatically signed in…at work. Hence, your predicament. Technology was a blessing and a curse.
You threw your hands up in the air. 'I’m not usually like this! You know I keep lists and passwords and I know what’s going on.’
Taehyung shrugged. 'Chill, everyone forgets their passwords.’
You caught Jimin’s gaze and he motioned to the laptop with his eyes. Oh yeah. You were supposed to close your eyes and input your password.
Incorrect.
‘Fuck this!’ you pulled out your phone, having no choice but to get in touch with your IT department head.
Y/n [10.31] : Seo-Hyun, apologies for being an inconvenience on your holiday, but can you give me access to my work laptop please.
Seo-Hyun [10.32] : Do you ever take a break? Also, this is the third time this year I’m overriding on a day off. Did you forget again?
Y/n [10.33] : If you double up, I’ll get your department that expensive cappuccino machine you’ve been raving about.
Y/n [10.33] : Please.
Y/n [10.33] : I’ll explain at our annual meeting.
Seo-Hyun [10.34] : Give me a couple of minutes.
Y/n [10.34] : I’ll put the order in ASAP.
‘Are you sure you typed it in right?’ Tae asked, as you drummed your nails on the table in wait.
You nodded, feeling too antsy to reply. Ria was a professional. A cold, calculated, meticulous professional. She wouldn’t push if it wasn’t urgent, but also, if it was that urgent why couldn’t she just tell you.
‘Okay,’ Tae came to stand at your table, ‘how about, close your eyes, and as you feel the distance between the keys, open your eyes and make sure you press the correct one. So one key at a time.’
‘Come on, we’ll do it with you.’ Jimin leaned over the table toward you.
Tae clicked on the spacebar. ‘What’s your password?’
‘AremArc, shift, the first three numbers on the top.’
Tae and Jimin met each other’s eyes and then yours. ‘How the hell are you going to remember that type of password.’
‘It’s always been AremArc,’ you averted your gaze, ‘it was my dad’s, I just added the numbers.’
Sensing the change in your tone, they let the subject drop immediately. In all honesty, you didn’t have an explanation as to why you carried over your dad’s password. It just felt weird to notuse it.
Taehyung moved to cover your eyes with his hand and Jimin pulled your hands forward to hover at the keyboard.
‘Okay, feel it out.’
You rested the front of your wrists directly in front of the spacebar, following Jimin’s words, you typed without thinking.
You knew the Arem had a capital letter, Jimin helped with that, the Arc had another and then Tae held the shift button while you typed in the numbers.
‘Ah, you hesitated!’ Taehyung exclaimed.
Opening your eyes you watched your fingers hover over the numbers. Your ring finger felt right, as it rested on the ‘1’, the middle finger on the ‘2’ but your forefinger was…off. It was curved to match the ‘3’, but you didn’t remember curving the finger. Straightening it out, your forefinger met the ‘4’ and that felt right. A side glance affirmed that Tae still had the shift key down, so you tapped on the ‘4’.
Almost immediately the desktop came into view.
‘Well,’ Tae straightened up and crossed his arms. ‘We see why it was such a mission before.’
‘Thank you,’ You muttered ruefully, trying to hide your smile as Jimin reached over to fistbump his soulmate.
Looking back at your screen, you watched as a mouse moved on the screen of its own accord and a white pop up box requesting the change of your password was ticked. Seo-Hyun’s teamviewer did it’s thing and you panicked for your phone to tell her you got in.
'Check your stuff,’ Jimin reminded you, ‘it’s almost time to leave for the studio.’
'Actually,’ your doors swung open, revealing Seokjin, 'we just decided to crash here.’
One by one, they found a place in your office, as if they’d been here a hundred times and felt right at home.
You raised your eyebrows. 'I don’t recall giving anyone access.’
Unbothered, Jungkook plopped himself next to Tae, who returned to his original seat, Hoseok lounged opposite them, his arms spread wide across the back of the sofa and crossed legs on the table in front of him. Yoongi went to stand by your floor length windows, Jin came to stand by your chair, Namjoon sat on your desk on your right after pressing a light kiss to your hair and Ji-ho, your favorite lawyer, placed his books on your desk, evidently claiming the office chair, next to Jimin.
Your question might imply such, but you were far from annoyed. Your family was allowed in any of your spaces at any time, but you were confused as to how they got in.
During the holiday season, only you and necessary personnel knew the codes to get in and out, unless you trusted someone enough to share them.
None of the band members had codes to your company, not even Namjoon, because business was business. They were idols, a band, your architecture firm was not on their daily route, not even Hoseok and Jin.
Hurudid have access… depending, because it would be futile to not give him a code considering he frequented Arem to update you and he was capable of acquiring any access codes on his own. Why fool yourself and waste either of your time?
The only other person who had access to any location you frequented and reason to make calls and perform actions without clearing it with you was – 'Kenta,’ Jin tapped your chair and answered your statement.
That one word puts you at ease. Kenta would have been subtle. Satisfied with the answer, you leaned back in your leather chair, and rested your elbows on either side, like a lady in wait.
'Why the location change?’ Jimin voiced your next question.
‘I don’t come here often.’ Ji-ho answered, as if that was enough explanation. ‘I love your view, y/n.’ He walked around the office, stopping to scan your shelf, his finger brushing across your Map of the Seven 7 Album before rounding on you. 'Can I visit you anytime?’
Namjoon gave him the side-eye.
Ji-ho played up his serious persona, but even you could see the glint in his eye.‘You know,’ he put both hands in his pockets, blatantly ignoring Namjoon’s gaze, ‘if ever paperwork needs signing… or have a heart to heart or… something.’
‘Okay, let’s cut to the chase.’ Every single member smirked as Namjoon turned fully to Ji-ho who held his hands up in surrender.
Namjoon tried to be playful, you could see a smirk playing at the side of his lips, but it wasn’t genuine.
You could do nothing but shake your head at the situation.
Logically speaking, Ji-ho was a very handsome male, single, in a good job with impeccable financial wit and an open personality, but he would never make a move on you, he was very loyal to Namjoon and friends with him for a long time. But Namjoon, well… he was not logical when you were involved and even banter was a thin-ice sort of thing. Hoseok, Jin, the maknaes, even Yoongi, Namjoon would be fine with alone visits, but despite the deep friendship, Ji-ho was not family, he was not Kenta, and he existed outside the small circle of people Namjoon would trust blindly.
There was a difference with your husband. He loved deep, and he loved in levels. Love was love and trust was trust. Blind, unquestionable trust was a different tier.
Reaching over to lace your fingers through his, he looked down at you, a warm smile gracing his features, but his eyes were hard, serious, slightly protective even.
You were reminded all over again, of how deeply embedded he was in your existence, how there would never and could never be anyone else. The past was the past. It had to be. You had a future to build with this man.
Ji-ho made his way to his seat and placed three different booklets in front of Namjoon. Within those seconds, as a unit, the energy in the room shifted. It could practically be felt, the way the band stood at attention, despite their relaxed stances.
‘Wait!’ Seokjin stopped Ji-ho just as he opened his mouth. 'I brought bubble wrap.’
True enough, Jin pulled out a piece of bubble wrap from his coat pocket.
'Why do you need bubble wrap?’ Ji-ho asked with genuine confusion.
'For y/n.’ Jin passed it over. 'Bubble wrap relaxes her.’
You giddily, made grabby hands and started popping them one by one, quietly and in sequence.
'Okay. So. What does everyone know?’
'Wait, wait,’ Taehyung interrupted Ji-ho, 'Jin hyung, we’ll be using swear words.’
It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t lost on anyone that Taehyung was not asking for permission.
'Since we’re being honest, hyung.’ Jimin came to his soulmate’s aid.
'Namjoon?’ The man in question turned his chin toward the leader.
Your husband looked down at you and you shrugged. Swear words and blunt talk did nothing for you or to you. You preferred it.
Namjoon pressed, 'Are you comfortable with that?’
You assured him. 'I’ve thought worse.’
'And said it.’ Jimin muttered under his breath.
You kicked him under the table and felt satisfaction at his soft 'Ow’.
'Hyung,’ Namjoon addressed his Jin, 'no language barriers since this is an open and honest discussion.’
Seokjin sighed. 'I need bubble wrap too.’
'Okay,’ Ji-ho, started, 'again,’ he looked around the room, searching for any opening mouths and add ons, 'What do we know?’
The answers came fast.
'That Namjoon hyung cheated at a bar sometime in October.’ Jungkook stated.
You didn’t even flinch, neither did Namjoon. Props to both of you. Either it was getting better, you were stronger, or maybe it was because of who stated it, Jungkook held no malice in his tone. He’d just stated a fact.
Smart move. Coming from a hyung, it could have been taken as disappointment, from a maknae, as judgment, but Jungkook was one of the maknaes that provided clarity instead of further confusion. Fact was fact. That’s all it was now. Namjoon had cheated. It was time to move on.
'That the bitch signed two NDAs one of which cannot be used against her and the second has a partial loophole to work with.’ Hoseok looked to be sucking on a sweet in his mouth, the round shape of it being pushed to either cheek when he spoke, 'She also submitted photos via her brother, which we got on video feed from Heeyoung.’
'Maiya makes herself look put together,’ Yoongi has his back turned to everyone, hands in his pockets as he watched the skyline before him, 'but she’s had a hard life, a hard past and despite her job, she makes it look like she comes from money, which we all initially thought, but she’s struggling and she’s taking care of her problematic brother.’
'A brother who was down the wrong path and caught in such, and is still on the run.’ You felt Jin’s hand by your head, on the back of your chair. 'She kept blaming a roommate that she supposedly had and now can’t be found. A bullshit story if we’ve ever heard one.’ Jin derided without humor, 'Why lie if you can’t do it properly?’ He asked no one in particular.
'Her lawyer fell off the face of the earth after leaving a prestigious company and has probably washed her hands of her brother’s case. So,’ Jimin clicked his tongue, 'no way out, no end in sight. A bar, an idol, money, … five seconds of fame.’
'So she’s broke, desperate and sees Namjoon hyung as an opening,’ Taehyung stands up, and walks around Hoseok’s couch, 'she wants to wash her hands off the situation once she signs the NDA and gets her money and payment from the company for keeping her mouth shut, maybe to save her brother to pay that lawyer, or buy a new life altogether…’ he stops next to his Yoongi hyung. 'But then she gets vindictive when we dismiss her. Greedy. Manipulative.’
'But we have y/n’s NDA,’ you felt Namjoon’s pride in you, his tone holding nothing back, 'with an acute connection, but a connection nonetheless, which we enforce.’
And ruin her.
You blinked at the intrusive thought. Blowing out a breath, quickly and quietly so as not to draw any attention from the men beside you, you pushed the negativity away. Yes, you hated her. You wanted to wring her fucking neck, truly and probably go to far. Even then, you might not feel remorse. In reality you weren’t capable of such cruelty, but that didn’t mean you weren’t angry.
'Alright,’ Ji-ho clapped his hand together, 'everyone’s on par.’
He pulled forward one of the booklets and entered lawyer mode. 'Well, let’s not beat around the bush, the brother is going to be taken into custody, we know this. He can’t clear his name. And he’s racked up quite the rap sheet.’ He picked up what looked like a criminal record and scanned it quickly before putting it back. 'Unfortunately,’ he looked up at you and sighed. 'There is nothing that can be done to save him, from what I know, because there are no witnesses on his side, the owner caught him fair and square and the video feed wasn’t working.’
Steepling his fingers, he watched as Yoongi moved to stand behind Jin, leaning casually against the wall, hands still in his pocket.
You understood. Some felt closer to others. Some felt more protective of others. It was why Jin leaned on your office chair, his forearms crossed over the back as he loomed over you. Yoongi behind him.
Hoseok and Jungkook were up and both leaning on the back of a single seater couch, crossed arms, facing you.
'We have to remember that it’s deep in the holiday season.’ The lawyer leaned back in his chair as Taehyung, last to form the protective circle, sat on your desk, his feet on the space of Jimin’s chair. It was a laughable situation. There was enough space, but everyone practically hovered over one another and it felt… right. 'The best I could do from my side was get a signature from our CEO on a written document stating the threat of her being sued and that she could be required to pay’ he reached over to open the second booklet, 'financial damages and related costs, as we have stated.’ He put the page down. Most probably a mock up of her NDA.
'Why can’t things be simple?’ Hoseok rolled his eyes in impatience.
You tilted your head to the side. Your Hobi, lovely Hobi, filled with so much love. The person that would eventually feel the full force of that love, would be truly blessed.
'If only.’ Taehyung derided after his hyungs annoyed statement.
'So now, we just have another pending issue.’ Jin asked pointedly, his arms crossed, making him out to be the hyung with the most business sense and legal knowledge.
'Well, yeah, I can’t call a court in session in the middle of the holiday, hyung, especially one of this magnitude. It’s not like we’re on a remand list. This is new.’ Ji-ho held his own against the oldest irritation. 'This band, even a minor picture, of someone unknown, a random fact that could be taken negatively, would cause uproar. Your fans are… passionate.’
You dropped your face to hide your smile and popped another couple of bubbles slowly.
Internally, you cheered Ji-ho on. The boys were very protective of their ARMY. Rightly so. But being a part of them, having your own hidden stan Twitter, having read Tumblr fanfic and seen reactions first-hand, some of them were borderline problematic and delusional.
The good ones made up for it. Yeah. Some of the soft stans were so loving and pure. Some of the hardstans were the most honest and savage. They made up for it.
'So, I will enforce this as soon as I can, and I will in no way back down, or settle for any sum of money because,’ he looked at you and Namjoon, 'it’s the two of you. Regardless of the shortcomings you see in yourselves, you are two upstanding citizens in society. You, y/n, represent yourself, a progressive female that develops the community and country, and you represent Namjoon, as a backbone of the band, his family and the leader that he is. Namjoon I don’t need to explain to you who you are.
Because of this, a case like this would draw a lot of attention. She would not look good of course, but neither will we.’
You liked how he said 'we’. As a company you would face this. Together.
'The question,’ Ji-ho stood up, and walked to the center of the room, addressing all of you at once, 'will be why are we going so hard, why are we pushing for this.’
'But first,’ he looked at Yoongi, 'What are NDAs?’
The man looked mildly startled, but replied after clearing his throat. 'Non-disclosure agreements.’
'Yes, but what do they stand for.’
'They’re a barrier.’ Namjoon narrowed his eyes, following Ji-ho’s prompting. 'They safeguard, doing their best to keep them in place as well as state consequences of crossing those barriers.’
'Exactly.’ A curl of his lip on one end, and then poker face. 'If we enforce this NDA, the consequences for Maiya Song will already be taking place.’ He motioned with his hands, from one position to another. Moving from one side to the other. You blinked. Like crossing a bridge.
Jin straightened up so fast you felt a draft by the movement. 'Which means there’s no barrier.’
His tone had your eyes widening.
'Which means she can reveal that I cheated.’ Namjoon mimicked his hyungs tone.
The realization was heavy, and caused internal panic to start building within you. Because how the fuck could you be so stupid.
Ji-ho stood in front of your family, unnerved. 'I am here with paperwork that I will get to processing in the new year, and I will take her down. I needed all of you, because I am asking the seven of you… to think about this again.’ You watched his eyes move to each face. 'Because once Namjoon is labeled a cheater, there is significant risk for not only him, but for this band.’
The silence that descended on your family… was deafening.
This was… this was new information. You wanted to laugh. Hysterically so. The bubble wrap discarded on your desk you viewed the small samurai sword set in front of you.
Yoongi had gifted you those. For the longest time, Yoongi kept you at arms length. It was who he was. Because he cared about his band, he cared about his brothers and his music. No one had the right to ruin that.
But here you were, getting justice, for a fucking blowjob, being vindictive, letting them go through with this when the world could turn against them.
They wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t get it. Namjoon was not a bad person. Namjoon was the best human being. He was so much more than just a leader and a millionaire and an idol. He wove dreams from threads as delicate as spiderwebs, he valued the world around him, his surroundings, his family, his parents and his brothers, his life, his heart, his soul was built on the monumental victories of sharing his feelings, of his words translating onto paper, to create new meanings, to create a safety net that held people to the Earth between life and death.
People needed to see that. People needed to understand. One mistake didn’t undo his rights. And that one mistake couldn’t steal six other futures.
You felt the sting at the edge of your eye. Your throat tightened at the thought of any of their realities being altered.
The mere potential of someone pushing them into early retirement, the alarm that made wee-woo fucking sounds in your brain sounded out at the thought of the band nolo her being a band.
No comeback. No more harmonies and concepts. No tours. No concerts. Separate ways.
You looked up at Namjoon, almost hyperventilating, in his separate lifestyle he’d choose music, composing, mentoring, producing like Yoongi, but none of it, absolutely none of it would go smoothly if he was labeled a cheater.
'Well, we’ve had a good run.’ Jungkook pulled you out of your thoughts.
The last person you expected to say something like that.
'Excuse me?’ You seethed. Clenching your fists to keep from growling at the maknae.
He met your hard stare, unflinching. 'We have.’
'No,’ you stood up and pushed your chair back with enough force to send it backwards. 'Hello. This,’ you pointed at everyone, including him, 'is the band. The fucking band, we are talking about. I don’t need to say the full fucking name for any of you to know what I’m emphasising.’ You felt Namjoon’s hand at your back and closed your eyes to take a deep shuddering breath. Tears spilled out of your eyes. You couldn’t pinpoint why. 'This changes everything, Ji-ho.’
'I can’t believe we didn’t think of this.’ Jin whispered next to you as if you weren’t shouting.
'Realistically speaking,’ Namjoon mumbled, 'as cocky as it may sound, I have pulled in the industry. I would be the known face, and she would be the outsider.’ His voice grew loud. 'Therefore my supposed story is more believable.’
Ji-ho shook his head. 'You’d still be under scrutiny. Everything would change. You would not be the desired, saintlike, grounded, humble male that everyone sees of you.’
'You will hear words like, 'I knew something was wrong with him.“ You scoffed, willing yourself to stop leaking fucking tears when you weren’t crying. Frustration was a helluva bitch.
'Somethingis wrong with me.’ He plastered his body against yours. 'I cheated on my wife. I did the wrong thing. I deserve anything I get for it.’
You attempted to shrug out of his hold as he grabbed a tissue to wipe your cheeks. 'This isn’t just about you.’ Grabbing the tissue from your husband’s hand, you turned back to Ji-ho. 'Don’t do it.’
'Now, y/n,’ he offered you an apologetic smile, 'unfortunately, your say in this, has to be put aside. I need the band’s consent. Management will be on your asses as soon as I get this paperwork to them, you all know this.’
Yoongi pushed off the wall. 'Why does it sound like you’re convincing us to not sue her?’
Was he out of his mind? The most ruthless of the group. The most protective. Was he actually considering going through with this?
'I adore y/n, hyung. But this isn’t just about your band. This is the intent of the message you carry across in your songs, this is the validity of your statements, these are profits, and finance, and stocks. It’s tourism and globalization. This band is not just a band.’
No one could dispute his statement.
'This is a family first, before a band.’ Jin stood tall, taking his place as the solid head of a structure. 'We understand where Ji-ho is coming from. So, everyone… thoughts.’
Taehyung waved his hand. 'Sue the bitch.’
'Y/n deserves justice.’ Jimin didn’t look up, his finger tracing a pattern on Taehyung’s pants.
'Hey now, wait –,’ you protested.
'We’ll survive,’ Hoseok raised his eyebrow at you, 'we can do other things.’
They were being so nonchalant, so agreeable. What the fuck!
Jungkook nodded to Ji-ho. 'Do your thing, hyung.’
'Guys, stop!’ You shouted, but no one seemed to be listening.
'Priorities change.’ Yoongi added. Somehow the two words said so much.
'That’s it!’ You banged the table. 'Are you all crazy? We can’t have anyone knowing exactly what happened.’
'Baby,’ Namjoon soothed, crowding you with his presence, his scent, his hand on your thigh.
He was calling to you so calmly. As if you weren’t in a frenzy, as if the consequences be damned.
You broke out of his hold and walked up to Ji-ho threateningly. 'Fuck that bitch. And fuck her brother and fuck what happened. Whatever. It’s over. She doesn’t have any other leverage, since she handed the pictures. The NDA is still in place to make sure she keeps her cock sucking mouth shut and she has her money.’ You breathed hard as you offloaded on the lawyer who looked taken aback. You didn’t care. You didn’t give a fuck.
Raising a shaky hand, you pointed a threatening finger in his face. 'You will save this band. And you will save my husband. We are not risking this.’ You closed your hand into a fist and turned away, hands on your hips. The emotions churned inside you as you held your head. Feeling a fresh wave of vindication, you whipped back to him. 'Let her go. Let her brother go. Fuck her lawyer and her case. Screw her plans, fuck her life, and fuck her fucking lipstick color, just fuck it!’
Namjoon grabbed your arm and pulled you into his hold before you could say anymore. Shaking like a leaf, you hid in his jacket, in his warmth, wanting to scream at the new developments and downright refusing to accept the end of one of most glorious eras you had ever had the blessing to experience.
You dared not peep at Namjoon. You knew what you would find. Sadness and resignation only, as he held you so close to his heart. His arms around you were so tight, it was as if he wanted to keep you there forever. He started rocking from side to side and kissed your forehead.
'You’re going to court Ji-ho.’
You attempted to push out of his hold, your panic rising again, but he held strong, he held you to him. He was making himself clear, he would be making this decision. He would not listen to you.
'Namjoon,’ you tried shoved at his chest and tried to protest, but it came out muffled.
'No.’ He held strong at your neck and met your eye. 'I’ve wronged you. And you have done enough for me and this family. It’s time for us to show you how much we love you. It’s time for change.’
'ARMY’s –,’
’– will understand.’ Jin completed for you.
You looked above Namjoon’s shoulder blade to see your comfort human offer a sad smile.
You closed your eyes and stopped shoving, burying yourself in Namjoons hold.
'I am human, y/n.’ He sounded like he was reminding himself as much as you. 'And if your true love can accept that, and make sense of it, then my real fans will. If it comes out.’
'Joon, please.’ You whispered into his shoulder.
'Shh,’ he rocked you again. He kissed your forehead again. 'Shh.’
In any other setting, with anyone else, you would never let anyone see what power Namjoon had over you, but you couldn’t care, this time, power dynamics were the least of your problems.
'Unless…’ Yoongi murmured.
Your eyes snapped open to the male behind Jin.
'Unless what?’ Jin voiced your question.
'Namjoon makes a statement instead.’ Yoongi looked behind you, silently asking Ji-ho for his opinion.
'Take the ball completely out of her court.’ A deep respect laced the words that came from behind you.
'No.’ You shook your head stubbornly. 'As admirable and as brave as that is. We’d rather not go that far.’
What was the use? The consequences racing through your mind was for a 'what if’ situation. If Namjoon put out a statement, it would be a sure thing.
Namjoon shifted you back, keeping you at arm’s length. 'You trust me right. Right, y/n?’
'I do.’ The words left your lips, as your fingers dug into his forearm. You were under scrutiny. Such a question, in such a setting, a moment’s hesitation would have been warranted, and it would have made a world of difference.
But the fact that you could answer, as you looked into your husband’s face and held onto his hands, in front of your whole family, without doubt – it was a testament to the strength of the foundation of your marriage.
Namjoon leaned forward, an arm curling around your waist, a thumb and forefinger tipping up your chin. 'Will you leave me,’ he breathed against you, 'when the world thinks bad of me?’
The refutation was instant. 'No!’ Your hands curled into fists on his jacket. 'We’re in this together.’
A slow smirk graced his face and uplifted your heart. He brushed his nose against yours and… you crumbled. Closing your eyes, taking in the feel of him, his unshakeable resolve wafted over you. That easily, the fight was lost to you.
'Ji-ho.’ Your husband lifted his head and said after a moment. 'A statementif things go south.’
'I’ll inform the authorities about her brother. And send the letter thereafter.’
You could feel Ji-ho move, stopping directly behind you. You felt a gentle hand on your hair a second later.
'Sleep with one eye open, Ji-ho.’ You threatened lowly.
Namjoon’s lips twitched.
No one said anything as the lawyer sighed, gathered his stuff and showed himself out.
The ones left, were family only. This was the necessary circle.
Namjoon met his hyungs eyes and then each of the members in turn, a silent message that bared so much understanding, passing between each of them, his knees buckled and you yelped, grabbing a hold of whatever material you could between your fingers as Hoseok and Jungkook caught him and Jimin pushed Ji-ho’s discarded chair under him.
'Joon,’ you whispered in concern as he dropped his head in his hand and covered his eyes with his palm.
You stood next to him, petting his hair, his face near your abdomen. No one said anything.
He finally looked up, after minutes of silence. 'I’m sorry.’
'No.’ The person you least expected, came toward his fellow 94-liner. 'No more apologizing.’
Hoseok looked ready for war. It did everyone good to see that the most optimistic one, was finally on the same page as the leader.
'I don’t know if she will reveal it.’ Jin had a Jungkook attached to his back. You almost smiled, the maknae would go to his comfort place too. 'And if she does there’s no guarantee that our days as a band will come to an end. But we always knew it was numbered.’
'Our ages.’ Yoongi stated, his focus back on the skyline.
'Our schedules.’ Taehyung suggested.
That reason would come from him because he would go into acting full-time.
'Our lives.’ Jimin muttered. His leg up on the chair, the other resting below. 'We can finally have workable, breathable, lives.’
'And we’re adults now. It’s not always going to be hopeful and happy.’ Jungkook reminded everyone. The maknae had to know though, he would always be the baby.
'This could be a real outlook for everyone actually.’ Jin nodded his head as the wheels turned in his head. 'We’ve grown up, so why can’t our message?
In fact, our message only gets carried across as it does, because we’re being true to ourselves. Like what’s happening in our hearts and brains and our lives. It would only make sense to be true to ourselves and our journey by expressing it through our music.’
'We can all express this change through our music.’ Hoseok admitted, following his hyungs train of thought.
'There was a fear before of not being able to date or show significant others or get married because of the fan base and the demographic and the desirability,’ Taehyung looked up, and met Namjoon’s eyes, 'but you took that step hyung, and we are still thriving. We have packed schedules for at least the next two years and plenty of comebacks individually and together. We won’t fall apart yet. And we have time to put ourselves across and build our Plan B.’
'We are allowed to step out of the boundaries they had for us.’ Jin’s determination carried itself across. 'This is life and it will not always be great but we will learn from it. And maybe someone could save their marriage or think differently or remember to forgive when it’s necessary.’
'This band,’ Yoongi finally looked at you, 'is what it is, because we make our own path and take risks. And some of them were worth it.’ Seeing the tumultuous emotions on your face, that you felt inside, he looked away before continuing. 'And besides being a band, we are a family. We want wives. Kids. Lives. Soon.’
'No more running.’ Jimin stated, more to himself.
The wording confused you. Running? From what? From… who?
'I find it easy these days.’ Jungkook said from behind Jin’s back.
'What’s that, Kook?’ Jin asked over his shoulder.
'To not care about anyone’s approval and disapproval.’
Jungkook struggled a lot with himself and his fans. He didn’t want to embarrass anyone or feel embarrassed. Being himself was one thing, but for such a long time, he gave what was asked and showed only what was wanted. To say those words and be confident in himself… it was a feat.
You felt Namjoon’s palm at your back and the side of his face placed at your stomach.
Instantly your brain whipped up one word, 'submission.’
Namjoon, Kim Namjoon, the leader, the idol, the rapper, was holding onto you for strength, in front of his band.
You didn’t push him away. You were slightly confused with his actions. But you would never push him away. He needed comfort. His family was saving him from his own mess. He’d need all the strength you had to offer.
So you settled both your hands in his hair instead. His other arm pulled you closer to him straight after.
'Kook’s right.’ Taehyung reaffirmed his only dongsaeng’s words. 'When was the last time we looked for approval?’
'The only people that matter… are in this room.’ Hoseok crouched low, and Namjoon turned away from you to meet the eyes of his fellow 94 liner. Hoseok swallowed hard before saying his piece. ’'Even when this rain stops, when the clouds go away, I stand here, just the same.”
'Hobi –,’
’Iam here.’ Hoseok touched Namjoon’s knee. 'Your best friend. I will be here through it all. We will do this.’ Once Joon nodded, Hoseok stood up and checked on each member. 'Everyone here needs to remember that there are always second chances, no matter what happens, and with whatever does happen, we can get through it together.’
Head nods, affirmations, high-fives were met all round and you bent forward to place a kiss on Namjoons head.
To others, it would seem dramatic. But to the band, to the ones that had experienced Hoseok and Namjoon first hand, it was a shift.
No one, no one ever, fucked with their family. Even backed into a corner, they would adapt and stay strong, and they would fight, should the need arise.
You always knew this day would come. But for it to be so real and for such a reason…
'Not that this is relevant at all,’ Taehyung lifted his shoulders, as if what he was about to say was no big deal, 'but y/n… what’s wrong with Maiya’s lipstick shade?’
this place that looked so bright and full of life, made you feel like the loneliest person in the world.
seoul.
a place where everyone seemed to know everyone and no one at the same time, this maze of a place is what you would call home for the next year and so.
being a transfer student was hard enough on its own, being an introverted art transfer student was even harder. all the friends who came with you had already found home in the people around them and in the places they chose to live in but you were stuck here, in this admittedly beautiful apartment, but even as beautiful as it was, you didn’t have anyone to fill the silence in the air around you.
your friends were good people though, they knew how hard it would be for you to adjust which is why they constantly spent time with you but you have urged them to not bother with that anymore, they’re in a new place with a treasure box full of memories and fun to unbox and you are no one to hold them back.
and loneliness isn’t an unfamiliar feeling, so you don’t feel too down about it.
but you do wish that you had someone to open your treasure box with, someone who sits beside you as you unpack the stories you would tell in the future, someone who would be the main character in your stories, the one who knows everything about you, someone who listens to the dreams you whisper into the night.
you had simple dreams.
your dream was to escape the cage you put yourself in.
and you’ll get there, your hope is flickering and exhausted but it exists, it urges you to breath everyday even if it’s hard, even if you want to run away and never talk to anyone again, your tiny light of hope that you’ll reach your dream, is what keeps you alive.
besides, seoul has too many pretty café’s, bakery’s, and skylines for you to give up here, you would rather give up in a place where everything is mundane and monotone, kind of like your home before you came here.
your hands lay limp beside you as you take a break from molding your sculpture, the clay drying on your hand feels uncomfortable, the night keeps getting colder as midnight strikes, and you feel tired in all aspects but that isn’t a valid excuse to the world, and it is especially a lousy excuse to your teacher who will grade this assignment in a few months from now.
you have just a few months to finish this intricate design of a woman falling down, you’re half-way done with her head but your mind doesn’t let you imagine what a descent would look like, a descent of a spectacular woman like the one you’ve made deserves to be show-stopping and you can’t come up with it.
what made you think that being an art major student would be a good idea?
you are clearly not cut out for it and the consolation and peace you used to feel every time your hands moved to create something is largely absent from your recent works, you feel like you can’t do anything right these days.
you are so cruel to yourself, even when the world is enough cruel to you, you press yourself to feel more pain, to hurt yourself a little more and you feel utterly useless in this large world filled with talented people.
art used to be your thing, it used to make you feel like a blooming flower during spring, it used to make you feel like you’re having the wildest party all in your head and it broke your heart into many more pieces when you didn’t feel that rush of emotions anymore.
you loudly sigh and check the time; it’s a little past midnight and you can only guarantee your safety if you start leaving now considering you want to take a ride to han river before you head home as well. you arrange your supplies in the right order and wave goodbye to the unfinished sculpture, grabbing your bicycle and then you’re gone in the wind.
the world doesn’t seem as cruel with breeze flying through your hair and your hands tightly wound on the bicycle you’ve rented for the time being, it was cheaper and you needed a way of transport in this expensive city, and you don’t like buses even if they’re more accessible, you prefer your lilac bike.
han river is one place that feels like home in this cold city, it’s the one place you will let yourself get lost in, you screech your cycle to a stop and step off the bike, there’s not a lot of people in sight, a few couples here and there, some people walking their dog and then your bench. well, it’s not your bench but whenever you’re here, it’s always empty and you just claimed it as yours but this time, it’s not.
you squint your eyes as you walk your bike to the bench, the usually empty bench seems to be occupied by a tall man, who doesn’t seem to notice anything around him, his cap is lowered just enough to cover his eyes and his stature is slightly slouched over, you only notice a notebook on his lap once you get close enough.
“is there anything i can help you with?” a gentle but deep voice breaks your train of thoughts and that is when you realize you’re staring at him, you panic and quickly bow in apology, palms already sweaty at having to come up with an excuse.
“i-i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare, this bench is usually empty which i was confused that’s all, enjoy your night” you bow again in apology, eyes squeezing shut, you want to run away and never come back, even your safe place has an embarrassing memory attached to it now.
“no no it’s okay” he lightly chuckles and you feel grateful to the kind stranger.
“if you want, there’s place for one more” he pats the empty space next to him and finally lifts his head, with his cap no longer getting in your way, you almost gasp at how handsome the man is, his eyes especially, you don’t think you’ve seen more beautiful eyes in your life.
“i don’t want to intrude, really it’s okay” you nervously say, hands squeezing the handles of your bike tighter.
“you’re not intruding, technically this is public property so you can do what you want.” he shrugs.
he’s not wrong. and his voice is awfully soothing to the ear so yeah, maybe you’ll take that seat.
you rest your bike against the tree beside it, noticing another bike resting against it and sheepishly sit down next to the man with the blue bike and comforting voice. you lean back with a sigh of relief, still a little stiff because you’re sitting next to a stranger but you don’t feel as uncomfortable as you usually do around new people.
you like that.
you like not freezing every time someone unfamiliar talks to you.
“my name’s kim namjoon, by the way” he lifts his hand with a huge smile and your eyes admire the deep dimples on his cheek, he looks friendly and awfully too nice.
too nice.
“y/n” your cheeks are already flushed and you manage to only whisper your name as you shake his hand, his hand feels warm and welcome.
“so, y/n, which university do you go to, assuming that you are still a student?” you’re surprised that he is trying to make conversation with you but you find yourself not minding it at all.
“still a student and this university” you lift your phone to show him the university on your phone and his eyes spark with recognition. it isn’t good to show strangers which university you go to but namjoon looks harmless, you just hope he’s as harmless as he seems.
“we go to the same university” he smiles at you and you bite your lip, you’ve never seen him around.
“do we? what do you major in?” you slip your phone into your pocket and look at him.
the moonlight looks especially stunning on him.
“it’s pretty boring, business and history” he sheepishly scratches the back of his head and you shake your head immediately.
“everything feels boring after a while, i’m sure you’ll find something special in those subjects too” you wish you could say the same to yourself but you’re not sure if your love for art will ever be reborn again. you don’t notice namjoon’s fond eyes looking at you as you worry about yourself.
“what course do you take?”
“art” you answer shyly.
“that’s so cool” and usually, whenever you tell people that you’re an art major, you see a constant wariness in their eyes, judging you, judging your future and they proceed to ask questions about how you’ll build yourself from scratch. questions like that scared you.
namjoon doesn’t say anything but a simple compliment, simple but sincere and that’s really all you need. you smile at him, sincerely for the first time in months.
“you come here often?” it keeps surprising you that he continues the conversation but you’re grateful that he does, you have no way to continue it yourself.
“not a lot of other places to go to when you’re a broke college student.” namjoon chuckles at your dull tone and you find that you like that, you like making him laugh like he is right now.
“you’re right, seoul is as expensive as it can get.” his tone is whiny and…cute? everything about namjoon is cute as far as you can tell.
“tell me about it, can’t buy a decent cup of coffee without having to sell my kidney.” he laughs once again and at the sound of his laughter, a familiar bloom of happiness starts slowly in your body too. and you grin at him.
“well i bear good news for you, dear broke college student, i happen to be the owner of a bakery near the campus, it’s called ‘joonie,’ don’t question the name please, and you’re welcome anytime, i promise to give a hefty discount.” his voice is teasing and filled with playfulness which makes you giggle, his eyes widen at your loud giggle, before they disappear because of his huge smile.
“not for free?” you decide to tease him back and he throws a glare at you, though a smile stays dancing on his lips.
“i will be the broke college student then” you laugh breathlessly into the chilly night and you feel free. you don’t feel your cage around you, even if it was just for that moment or two.
and you know that’s it all because of the man with the blue bike sitting right next to you.
maybe, just maybe, seoul isn’t as lonely of a place as you thought it would be.
-
that night, you fell asleep with a warm feeling trapped in your body, namjoon insisted to walk you, and even with all the sirens of stranger danger, you let him, it was a lovely walk, you made each other laugh as the night grew colder and right at your door, he gave you a smile you would remember forever, that’s how special it felt to you.
now, that you’re alone again, you don’t feel as warm and fuzzy anymore, you are cold as ice like any other day.
you don’t know why you are, the way you are but you are. you exist, fading in and out of reality, but you exist. and you have responsibilities, you have teachers back home to make proud, you have a family waiting for your calls, you have assignments to finish, you have a life that you can’t just resign from.
your hands drip with wet clay as you focus on finishing the head of your falling lady, you feel your approaching sadness over the emotions you miss, your hands carefully press and smooth on her face, you don’t want to mess her up and you need your scholarship if you want to stay or continue in seoul. but you still feel hollow, devoid of the capability to feel anything.
you lean back on the uncomfortable wooden stool which digs into your skin from time to time, you can’t even reach for your phone with how messy your hands are and you groan, desperately trying to get your head back into it.
“can’t focus?” you hear the same, deep voice and you immediately snap your head at the entrance of the studio room to see namjoon leaning on the doorframe, he had a nervous smile on his face with slightly widened eyes and you immediately felt bashful under his careful gaze.
“it’s nothing new” you say honestly and he hums, walking into the room and sitting on the other side of your table.
“i hope you don’t think is creepy, you told me you were in the art department and i was going to head home, but the light was turned on here so i assumed there would be a chance of you being here, and i just wanted to check, i swear it sounds creepy but it’s n-“ you cut his nervous rambling with a small chuckle, waving your hand to dismiss his worries.
“it’s alright, really” you reassure him and he sighs in relief.
“i’m not here to distract you though, you can keep working, i’ll leave.” he gives you a smile and gets ready to leave but you don’t want him to go.
“no, stay.” you say and immediately feel a blush creep over your face when he shrugs happily and sits back down.
“i could use a distraction right now, is what i meant” you try to cover you but you know that namjoon doesn’t buy that excuse, he just nods with a playful roll of his eyes.
“in that case, can i take you somewhere?” and you don’t say no.
-
in namjoon’s poorly lit bakery, which apparently runs 24/7, you feel good sitting opposite to him and you don’t mind the open environment because there’s barely anyone here.
“you were doing a sculpture when i came in, right?” you nod, fingers curling around the coffee cup in front of you.
“the idea is to make it a falling woman.”
“i can’t imagine that being easy.” namjoon tilts his head with a small frown.
“you’re right, it’s not. which is why i’m struggling with it” you smile tightly, your mind once again invading you with your inability to finish it.
“it’s not easy but i’m sure you can do it.” he reassures you and as much as you want to believe it, you don’t have it in you.
“right” you mumble with a strained smile and namjoon picks up on your sour mood.
“it’s hard to focus sometimes, burnouts are very natural especially if it’s a creative process like yours, so take it easy, work as hard as you can when you’re motivated, and take breaks when you don’t feel motivated” you just stare at him with your mouth agape, because no one’s tried to comfort you like this and you don’t even know namjoon all that well.
“thank you, like seriously thank you” you are grateful to him, his words did give you a small push, to continue your assignment.
“you don’t have to thank me, just be sure to show me when you’re done with it, yeah?” he smiles at you and you nod happily, you decide right then that he’ll be the first person you show because you really don’t know anyone else in this city.
“enough about me, tell me about you.”
“i like writing songs.” you widen your eyes in excitement and urge him to continue, at your enthusiastic reaction, he lets out a little laugh and rubs the back of his neck.
“me and my friends, we recently rented a studio, the goal is to be a producing group together, we’re pretty solid” he explains and your respect and admiration for him grows ten-fold.
you want to ask him to listen to one of his works but you’re not sure if you’re there yet.
“one day, maybe if we keep meeting like this, you can listen to something by me.” he suggests and you’re delighted that he says it himself.
“one day” you smile gleefully at him and he smiles right back.
you may not like seoul just yet, but you like namjoon.
you like namjoon a lot.
-
you don’t stop meeting namjoon, whether it be at your art studio when he visits you late at night, and it feels so delicate with no one else but you two. or whether you meeting him during his shift in the library and then walking to the bakery and staying there till it gets too late.
you enjoy his company; you enjoy making him laugh and knowing more about him.
and you only hope that he enjoys it just as much as you do.
you really, really hope that he does.
“you look cute when you concentrate” you suddenly hear namjoon’s voice as your hands smooth over your woman’s cheeks, your movements pause on the sculpture, looking at him with widened eyes and he simply grins at you, you snap your head back and start running your hands on her face, ignoring the butterflies in your chest.
“oh right, the other day, you asked me when i would let you listen to my music?” you immediately abandon your sculpture to lean towards him with an eager smile on your face and namjoon chuckles bashfully at your reaction.
one thing that you both constantly talked about was his music, since you got to know about it, your curiosity was endless, and namjoon was more than happy to feed your thoughts, telling you everything from his inspiration to write lyrics to where he gets his equipment and why he writes the lyrics he does.
“well, today’s the day if you want to go” you don’t even answer him, shuffling out of your seat and putting your sculpture, and namjoon watches with amusement as you hurriedly arrange everything and run around to finish as quickly as you can.
“let’s go” you gasp breathlessly as you come back to him while stuffing your arms into your cardigan and namjoon gestures you to calm down with the same amused smile.
“i’m calm, now take me” you whine as you grab his hand, dragging him out of your studio.
-
you both are giggling all the way up to his studio, namjoon either tickling you whenever you talk too much or you mess up his hair by pulling his hoodie on his head over and over again, you’re nothing but all smiles as you reach the room. the lights are already on and you hear light noise coming from the inside, namjoon looks over at you and then places his hand on the door.
“i guess, you’re also meeting my friends today” he smiles at you and you freeze, and just as you’re about to grab his hand and run back to your studio, he pushes the door open and pulls you in with him.
you are met with three pairs of unfamiliar eyes who immediately look up at the intrusive sound and the new person in the room. you instinctively move behind namjoon a little, but then he’s tutting at you and pulling you gently in front of him, all while the four pair of eyes never leave your intertwined fingers.
your feet stop moving as you only look at the ground, letting namjoon start the conversation.
“everyone, meet y/n, she’s my…friend” he breathes out and you don’t lift your head, just nodding in acknowledgement. you hear people shuffle around before a hand comes into your vision, you look up to see a man with a bright smile on his face.
“name’s hoseok, nice to meet you” you slowly shake his hand as he keeps smiling at you, you feel yourself smile back at him involuntarily. someone pushes hoseok out of the way and even as he turns to curse at them, another hand extends itself towards you.
“hello, i’m taehyung” he doesn’t wait for you to take his hand but eagerly reaches for it and shakes it roughly, making you giggle at his frantic actions, and then one more hand takes his place.
“yoongi, good to meet you” he offers you a small smile and you smile back at him.
“this isn’t everyone by the way, just the half” and you’re glad because your social battery isn’t charged for more people.
“now, i came here to show y/n something so, everyone out” namjoon points to the door with his thumb and everyone except you starts whining and complaining but they do start to gather their things, hoseok leaves first but not without telling you that you should hang out one day and yoongi does the same, taehyung pauses at the door before turning with a smirk.
“you’re kicking us to kiss y/n, right?” he teases and you choke on your own breath, namjoon also blushes and looks away before pushing the boy out.
“sorry about that” he scratches the back of his neck and you wave your hand to dismiss his worries, shyly pushing your hair back.
“okay, let’s do this” he claps his hands, sitting in front of a large monitor, you sit right beside him, leaning over to see him clicking over many files to find the song he wanted to play for you.
he looks at you with a nervous smile and you nudge him to press play already and when he does, you don’t think about anything but the sound that surrounds you.
it’s an alternating beat, flowing between a softer to a harsher beat, the lyrics and namjoon’s voice engulfing you, telling you story about an ending, a bye which isn’t pleasent, and it makes you tear up, because the feeling that you missed with your art slowly spreads in your chest, covering inches of you in miniscule crawls but just the return of those feelings makes you want to break down on the floor in happiness.
you listen with awe written all over your face and namjoon doesn’t disturb you, doesn’t ask you how it is, just lets you feel his words in peace.
at the end of the song, he doesn’t even ask you if you like the song or not, he simply smiles at your teary eyes and wipes a few tears that stopped on the apples of your cheeks.
“sometimes, i’m afraid” he quietly says, the music long fading into background and now, it’s only him that matters.
“afraid of what?”
“that i won’t go somewhere with this” he gestures to the equipment and lyric sheets messily thrown on the desk, the tension is heavy in the room with namjoon’s dull mood, and you take his hand in yours.
“you made me feel something that i never thought i would feel again, i was so scared that i lost the part of me that could feel but that one song revived me, and if that happened with me, i’m sure your music will resonate to a lot of others too, and you don’t have to go somewhere with this, you’re already there as long as you love what you’re doing.” you tell the words you wished someone would say to you, because namjoon, out of anyone else you knew, deserved to hear those words.
he’s grateful for your words as he takes your hand in his and presses a gentle kiss on it. your smile is wider than it’s ever been and you know that it’s only because of him. and with that kiss, you also know that it’s not just you who is falling.
“thank you” he mutters, cupping your hands gently in his.
“you can thank me by playing more songs” you cheekily say and namjoon lifts his hands in surrender with a low chuckle, already looking for more songs to play for you, but now, it’s less about showing you his work and more about seeing that look on your face as you completely get lost in the song.
that’s how you spend the night, you end up in full blown tears at some point, and namjoon laughs as he keeps wiping them with his sweater and you don’t want the night to end, you don’t want to stop crying around namjoon because you get too into your feels about the song, you don’t him to stop wiping your tears away because it’s him, and any moment with him, laughter or sobs, feels right.
how are you ever supposed to tell him that you have to leave?
-
you stir lightly in your slumber, being unable to stretch as much as you want to and with an annoyed groan, you open your eyes to meet..a chest?
yeah, that’s someone’s chest, you’re very sure it is.
you snap your head up even in your half sleepy state to see namjoon still blissfully in dream land.
then you look at your surroundings, you never left the studio last night and right now, you’re all cuddled up to namjoon and the warmth around you two is a good change from the weather outside.
you don’t mind this, you don’t mind this at all.
you lazily smile before snuggling closer and trying to fall asleep again, but then you hear noises, voices to be more exact and it’s coming from right outside the door, you internally panic but don’t have the energy to try and move.
you hear the creak of the door opening, and squeeze your eyes shut, hoping that whoever it is, just goes away and leaves you until you can run out. the voices immediately pause, and you know that they’re looking at you.
“no way” someone chuckles in disbelief and if you remember right, the voice belongs to taehyung. you feel namjoon move in his sleep and expect him to get up abruptly to explain to his friends whatever this was. but just like you, he doesn’t move.
“what are you doing here so early?” he groans, cradling your face deeper into his chest and you feel a rosy blush erupting in your cheeks at his low voice and the new closer proximity.
“it’s saturday, namjoon” hoseok answers.
“i get that but can you leave till she gets up and goes back? i don’t want her to be uncomfortable when she wakes up.” your heart warms at how considerate he is of you and stifle your laugh when they playfully complain to namjoon, loud enough to whine but low enough to not disturb you, they still think you’re asleep.
“the things we do for young love” yoongi dramatically mutters.
“you better buy us a round of drinks later, hyung” you hear taehyung complain but you also hear a smile in his complaint, like he actually doesn’t mind at all.
“yeah yeah, now get out.”
“so bossy” hoseok mutters one last time before the door closes and you deeply exhale in relief.
“you can open your eyes now, they’re gone” namjoon brushes your hair away from your face and you squirm in his arms, darting your eyes up as you look at him, you feel totally in bliss in his arms with sunlight shining on you two.
am i suffocating you?
do i make you happy like you make me?
am i hurting you, because i’ve done that before?
how will i leave you behind?
like a response to all your questions, namjoon places a soft kiss on your forehead before his lips trail all across your face, delicately drawing patterns on your face and then his lips pause at yours.
but you don’t back away like you expected yourself to and he doesn’t either, only holds you tighter.
-
the smile on your face doesn’t budge as you finish your falling lady’s head, it’s finally done, and you’re honestly in love with her, you’re in love with everything about her face, from her eyelashes that are startled open, lips slightly parted, eyebrows raised in an elegant way and her face contorted in a peaceful shock. even when falling, she’s supposed to be the most graceful woman. and she looks like it too.
you feel at peace, not as jittery as you used to be, you still get the occasional sinking feeling of fear and disappointment but you don’t let it take over you like it used to.
even your hands covered with clay don’t feel uncomfortable, they don’t feel suffocating, they feel freeing, you’re slowly re-discovering love, both for art and in people. and you know why you feel better than you have in years.
the door to the art studio swings open and you barely recognize namjoon who stumbles in through.
you also understand why love is addictive.
“do you need help with that?” you get up from your stool when you see namjoon carrying a huge stack of books in his arms. you hear a groan in reply and stifle a laugh as you wipe your hands on your apron and take half the stack from him, placing them on your desk with a huff.
“why are you carrying these around?” you ask as he sits down opposite to you.
“new books, i need to write their titles down in this register” he lifts a large, rectangular book from the desk with a look of dread on his face.
“you couldn’t do that in the library? carrying all of these books back will be exhausting.”
“i just wanted to spend time with you” he nervously chuckles and you feel your cheeks warm up.
“then you did a good thing” you smile at him and both of you work silently, you continue to start the body of your lady and namjoon scribbles through many of those books.
you know you have to tell him, that your time here, that your time with him is limited and you know he deserves to know before both of you get too deep into this to get out.
“joon, there’s something you need to know” you stop drawing your pieces and he stops writing as well, putting his pen down to give you his undivided attention.
“i’m listening.” as confident as he sounds, you know that he’s nervous, it’s written all over his face.
“you know that i’m a transfer student, right?”
“right, and your course lasts for 2-3 years?” he looks so hopeful, you want to take back every word you’ve said so far and just let him believe that.
but you can’t do that anymore.
“no, it doesn’t” you look away from him and he frowns.
“does it last for longer then?” you hate this. you really hate this.
“i’m staying here only for a couple more months, like 4-5 now.” you purse your lips and stay silent as you wait for his reaction, he doesn’t say anything either, his frown gets deeper and you almost feel like you’re betraying him. which you are.
“i’m sorry, i just need a minute” he gets up from his seat and your eyes nervously follow his movement.
“of course, take your time” you mumble as he exits the art studio and you feel your heart sinking as soon as the door shuts close and you’re all alone again.
the motivation you had when you first started the night of sculpting, left your body as soon as the sound of the door clicking shut filled the air, your shoulders slump and your hands lay limp by your side, and before you know it, tears slide down your cheeks as you purse your lips.
you had just stopped getting used to being lonely but now that the feeling comes rushing back to you, you hate it.
-
you don’t hear from namjoon for the next two days and you’re left tossing right and left in your bed and trying to ignore the tears that stain your pillows.
you should’ve told him sooner, you should’ve let him know that even if you had time, it wouldn’t be much, but maybe he thought it was better to leave you while he could.
it’s not like it hurt any less for you though, because you really did like namjoon, you might even love him if you could convince yourself that you were capable of love, you have never felt the way with anyone else but namjoon, that feeling of just teetering over the edge before you completely get lost in him.
every time your phone buzzes, your heart leaps in your throat and you hurriedly grab it but it’s never him.
you lazily structure the body of your sculpture, messing up frequently and with each mistake, you feel more annoyed, not only with yourself, but with the world, for filling your life with warmth only to leave it chilling cold like it always has been.
and one more mistake later, you throw the arm of your lady on the ground, frowning at it with a groan escaping your throat.
you’re not handling this well.
then you remember namjoon’s words, take breaks when you aren’t motivated and give it your all when you are. you feel anything but motivated so you decide to take a ride down han river for an hour and come back to your sculpture.
you warily eye the door to your art studio, you won’t tell anyone but you’ve been secretly hoping for a certain someone to burst through the door clumsily with fumbling steps and words, and you’re left dejected every time it turns out to be anyone but him.
your lilac bike is the only thing in the world that shows you mercy, the only thing that gives you the freedom to let go and you’re grateful that you chose it and not some stuffy train or bus.
you hastily throw your bike to rest on the tree adjacent to your bench and soak in the cold wind that surrounds you, no one but a few people with pets pass in front of you and even with the grey skies showing signs of a heavy rain, and the wind that chills your bones, you have never felt more at peace in these past two days than right now.
maybe you should just start getting used to being lonely again.
it’s not that bad, at least not on this bench and bike you’ve grown so fond of.
“as much as i love seeing you here, i was trying to ignore you” you hear from behind you and you don’t turn around, you know that it’s namjoon, and you’re not sure if he’s being as serious as he sounds.
“i can leave” you mumble, getting up from the bench.
“no, stay.” he appears in front of you and sits you back down before settling beside you.
“it was stupid of me to think that i could forget you simply by ignoring you, especially when i don’t want to forget.” he doesn’t sound like he’s talking to you, more talking to himself but you still listen, with your heart caught in your throat and your palms unusually sweaty even in this cold weather.
“what are you trying to say?” you sound annoyed and you are slightly, because he keeps mumbling to himself and you don’t want to get your hopes high just for him to leave you on this bench.
“i’m saying that, i don’t care if our time is limited”.
there it is, hope.
with soaring hope in your chest and eyes, you finally look at him for the first time since he’s come here.
“i don’t care because we’ll just make the most out of our time, i want to know all of you before you leave me, it’s dangerous to say that i don’t care even if it hurts, but i don’t have it in me to be scared of that right now, i’m only scared of losing you while you’re still here.” you are at a loss of words as namjoon spills his feelings on you, and the hope that soared through your chest reaches the sky when you process what he says.
but how hurt will you be at the end?
you’ve been hurt before; you can handle it. at least you think you can.
because how could you ever say no to namjoon when he’s offering you a key to the treasure of memories you’ve always wanted to open?
“now, i understand why you write songs” is the only thing you can say with your choked up voice and teary eyes, and namjoon, like always, is there to wipe your tears away.
“i’ll keep writing if you listen to them, wherever you are.”
-
with each day that you spend with namjoon, it gets harder to part ways at the end, whether it be right at the front of your door or at the studio, saying goodbye, even for a few hours, felt painful and it was evident that namjoon felt the same way too.
the grip on your hand tightens as leaves fall around you two, you’re back near han river and namjoon is busy writing lyrics in front of you while you sketch away anything that comes to your mind. you don’t feel as frantic about your sculpture now that you’ve finished the outline of her body, you’re going somewhere with it and you couldn’t be happier.
“what do you think of this?” one thing you love about sitting by namjoon as he writes his lyrics, is how he constantly reaches out to you for your opinion, you feel very special that your opinion matters to him.
you take the notebook from his hands and glance over the lyrics, it’s just as tear-jerking but eye-opening as all of his songs are, you hand it back to him with a grin on your face and that’s how he knows that you love it.
“i wanted to ask you this, how did you feel when i didn’t talk to you for those few days?” the question is sudden but you’re not caught off guard, you knew it was only a matter of time before it would come up.
“lonely, just lonely.” was your honest answer.
“how did being lonely feel?” he asks as he continues scribbling on his notebook.
“familiar but not that bad” you know that your answer is straight forward enough to jerk namjoon’s scribbles to a pause. he looks guilty as he raises his head to you and you are taken aback when he takes your hand in his and rubs circles on the back of it.
“now that i’m here, you never have to get used to or settle for ‘not that bad’, okay?”
“okay.” you smile at him and he smiles back, you feel content, happy even that you could find someone here, that you found namjoon here.
-
as weeks go by, both you and namjoon get busier, him with a deadline for a demo and you with your sculpture, it’s only a matter of two months before you have to send it for evaluation and even as you are finishing your sculpture, your heart is beating a million times faster, both out of excitement and fear.
your lady looks like every bit of the royalty that she is, at least so far, the cloth that drapes along her body and flies in the air, looks delicate, soft to touch, easy to break, and you couldn’t be prouder about it.
you hear your phone ring and a large smile takes over your face when you see who’s calling.
“hey, i missed you” namjoon can hear the pout in your voice as you speak and he internally coos.
“you don’t have to anymore, i’m outside your studio, i was hoping to take you somewhere since we haven’t seen each other for a few days now.”
“you’re outside?” you glance out the window to see namjoon waiting in a car, he waves his hand when he catches you looking.
you look like crap right now.
“okay, give me a minute or five..” you trail off and cut the call before he can object.
you run from your studio to the washroom with your makeup bag, frantically powdering your oily face and touching up your faded lipstick, you swiped your hands across your hair and pray internally that it won’t poof up. and once you look half-decent, you pat your cheeks roughly and run back to the studio, shoving your makeup bag into a desk and grabbing your usual bag before running out the door.
“are you okay? you look a little out of breath” he asks as you slide into the car, while desperately trying to catch your breath, you hurriedly nod, pulling your seatbelt on.
“okay” he laughs and starts the car.
a calm conversation flows between you two as namjoon drives you to whatever mystery place he wants to take you and you couldn’t feel more at peace with your windows down, making your hair the mess you were afraid it would be but you didn’t care, with namjoon right next to you, nothing else seemed to matter and it didn’t, no one has mattered to you the way namjoon has.
the sun has almost set and you excitedly take pictures of the ever-changing colors of the sky and show them to namjoon who marvels over them with you.
you could get used to this.
you could totally get used to this.
namjoon stops his car right at a small lake, with trees all around you and you can’t hear the loud city or traffic anymore at all, it’s just you, him, rippling water and fresh air. you shiver as you get down the car with namjoon, tugging your jacket closer.
“normally, it would be ideal if it was summer right now but we can’t wait for that” namjoon tells you as he pushes his jacket off his body and you widen your eyes at him.
“you’re crazy, don’t tell me that we’re getting close to that” you point to the lake with quivering lips and namjoon shrugs, removing his boots and wincing at the cold ground.
“this is a bad idea; we will be sick for days.” you shake your head, refusing to let go of your jacket and namjoon laughs at your worried face as he pushes his jeans up.
“and after that, we will be fine. so, shall we?” namjoon reasons and extends his hand towards you, and all your worries about being sick, about probably catching a nasty cold for weeks that could hinder your work, fly away. you sigh in defeat and unwillingly push your jacket away, already cursing everything out and namjoon is having the time of his life, watching you struggle.
“don’t you think taking our clothes off would be better? we will just have wet clothes at the end of this” you grumble as you take your shoes off.
“if you want to take your clothes off, i don’t mind” comes namjoon’s cheeky reply and you pick your jacket from the hood of his car and throw it on his grinning face.
“you know that i didn’t mean it like that” you flush red, both because of the weather and other reasons that namjoon is very aware of.
“of course, come on now, it’s worse just standing here.” and before you fully prepare yourself, namjoon pulls you with him to the edge of the lake, dipping his toe in and shivering, encouraging you to do the same but you know that if you did that, you will be running back to the car.
so, with a smirk, you take your hand from namjoon and push him in, giggling when he screams and the splashing water lands around you, he comes back up, completely drenched as you double over in laughter, he shakes his head at you, ruffling his hair out and before you realize, he’s at the shore, leaning against it with his arms crossed and watching you with a small smile.
“are you going to leave me alone here?” he pouts at you.
“maybe” you tease him and then he’s jumping out of the water, coming towards you with a determined look on his face and you struggle to keep your eyes on his face because his clothes are literally transparent right now. and before you know it, you’re pushed into the water followed closely by namjoon who jumps in next to you.
you gasp for air as you come up, the cold water freezing your nerves but you’re laughing, you’re laughing out of the pure joy and adrenaline that flows through you and namjoon’s laughing with you.
and you don’t think you have been this happy in your life, in your whole entire life, being frozen to your bones is the happiest moment. you start to splash water on namjoon who retaliates by scooping up water and throwing it right on your face.
just when you’re about to start kicking water on him, his arms wrap around you, forehead pressing against yours with a sigh and you stop moving.
“i don’t want to leave this place.” he whispers to you, even with the cold weather, his breath is hot and his body heat is warming you slowly.
in this cold world, both figuratively and physically, namjoon made you feel like the warmest sunlight.
i don’t want to leave you, are the words right at the tip of your tongue.
“we’ll die if we don’t get out soon” you joke instead and namjoon laughs, pulling away to cup your face in his hands, fingers smoothing over your face and your eyes flutter close at the gentle action.
“is there really no way i can make you stay?” you want to cry at how sincere and desperate he sounds.
“no, but you can make my stay worthwhile like you are doing right now” your answer is honest but you’re just as desperate as he is, you don’t want to go home where you have nothing but a monotonous, color-less life but you have no choice.
how can you say goodbye to this face that made the cruel world warmer in every sense?
as a tear escapes your eye, namjoon doesn’t wipe it away like he usually does, he curls his fingers around your cheek and pulls you closer until you can feel all of him, and this time, he kisses your tears away, slowly, like he has all the time in the world and your hands curl around his arms, gripping him like he will go away if you don’t hold him tight enough all while the water flows steadily around you.
he pulls away with a grin and you smile back almost instantly.
namjoon has always thought that people were more capable of hurting than loving but looking at you, shining under the stars and smiling at him like he’s the only person in the world, he believes people are just as capable of loving as they are of hurting.
“i have wanted to do that for so long now” he mutters.
“why didn’t you?”
“it didn’t feel right until now.”
“was it okay..for you?” he asks with pursed lips and you giggle at his nervous expression.
“i don’t think i’ve felt more alive in my whole life.” he beams at your answer, patting your head making you giggle again.
“well, we can just keep doing that then” he exclaims cheerfully and you cheer with him, already reaching for his face.
and again, it’s just you, him and the flowing water that freezes your bones.
with namjoon, seoul doesn’t feel lonely.
not at all.
-
you are the most dressed up you’ve ever been since you’ve come to seoul, with a simple fitting black dress, minimal jewelry and strappy heels, you feel confident standing next to your falling lady which lays vertically on the ground.
you are finally done with her, all of her, her elegant face, her sheer clothes that fly in the air as she falls, her hands grabbing onto open air, she looks desperate to be saved but she looks beautiful even on the ground.
and you’re proud, for the first time in ages, you feel like you have created something that can truly convey what you feel.
bliss, is the only thing you feel even with your sculpture that’s done and ready to present to your teachers and other enthusiasts, but your attention is divided as you keep checking the door to see if namjoon will bust in because you really want him the first person to see it.
“here, joon, here!” you wave your hand frantically in the full studio to try and catch namjoon’s attention who just enters through the door, he locates you in the room and quickly makes his way over to you.
the first thing he does is give you a warm hug and pushes a bouquet of delicate flowers into your hands, grinning proudly at you, he looks so proud and he hasn’t even seen the sculpture.
“you ready?” you call out excitedly, circling around your sculpture which lays under a thin blanket. namjoon shifts on his feet with a huge smile on his face.
“just remember, me showing you this is like you playing your music for me” you inform him.
“i know i will love it either way” he shrugs and you pause from lifting the cloth, narrowing your eyes at him.
“how are you so sure?”
“it’s something you poured your heart into, so i will love it” he answers sincerely and you feel flustered with his compliment, you cough awkwardly and lift the cloth off your lady.
for a few seconds, namjoon doesn’t say anything or change his expression, he circles your lady silently with observant eyes and you shift on your feet, your lips feel dry and you feel nervous all over, because his opinion matters most to you in this city, maybe even in this world.
“it’s you” he mumbles, just loud enough for you to hear.
“what do you mean?”
“you made yourself” he concludes and you blink at him, not knowing what to say.
“she’s beautiful even when she’s falling, even when she’s alone” he starts walking while he talks and stops right in front of you.
“just like you, you’re beautiful, however you are, you are the most beautiful.” you swallow the knot in your throat, no one has ever called you beautiful the way namjoon has.
“i don’t know what to say.”
“then don’t say anything, that’s alright” he lets out a breathy chuckle at your red cheeks.
“you know you don’t have to flatter me, i already like you” you tease and he shrugs.
“doesn’t hurt to get you to like me even more, right?” he winks at you and you playfully roll your eyes.
“but as much as i love you, that wasn’t my attempt to flatter you at all, you are just that good of an artist, and you are also the muse for my lyrics these days” he shyly admits the last part and you feel everything you have wanted to feel since day one of entering seoul.
namjoon truly did open your treasure of memories, and god, it will be so hard to leave him behind.
and he understood what you felt when you created her, you felt just as desperate, just as helpless as she did when you created her but you have handled it with as much grace as you could, namjoon was probably the only person who saw that.
“she is you, and i love her, like i love you.”
-
your presentation goes swimmingly, your teacher loved it, she took many pictures of it to show your potential to her superiors so they can extend your scholarship, and she did mention that the sculpture will be presented in a main art event. so that was definitely a win for you. your intrusive thoughts bother you from time to time, but they don’t hurt you as much as they used to, you don’t know if you have gotten stronger or your thoughts have gotten weaker, but you know that you’re better than you were just a few months ago.
your scholarship did not get extended, you expected that. your piece was good but some were just better, you didn’t beat yourself up like you thought you would, namjoon didn’t let you anyway.
speaking of namjoon, he’s all you have thought of now that your presentation is over, because he’s literally with you every day, putting aside his work to try and spend the last, few days with you, properly.
you’re currently sitting on the hood of his car, on top of a mountain that overlooks the city, he is stood in between your legs, feeding ice cream and listening intently to you as you keep rambling about how trust is so fickle.
“the thing is, if we’re wary of someone or a habit of theirs, it’s very easy to lose trust the second they mess up even the slightest, even if it isn’t fair to them, i just think that’s how people are.”
“you’re right, trust is very rare, you can’t say you trust someone easily, because trust is built on not time, not the relationship, but the people involved” he pauses to feed you and continues.
“i will always trust you though” you cheekily interrupt and he laughs.
“and i will always trust you.” he concludes and feeds you one last spoon while you smile gleefully at him. but then he sighs, stepping back from you and shaking his head lightly and you frown at his dejected stance.
“what is it, joon?”
“our time is almost up” he says with a sad smile and your heart tightens in your chest at his words, you know that your time is almost up, you’ve been trying to ignore that fact for so long now but you only have a day or so left with namjoon.
“before i leave” you scoot closer to him, breath stuttering at the close proximity you share with him as he eagerly waits for you to speak.
“i want you to take all of me” you have never felt as vulnerable as you do, whispering those words to namjoon under the moonlight that shines over you.
“you sure about that?” even with his eyes blown and throat closing around nothing, namjoon needs your permission to claim you.
“never been more sure about anything else in my life” you give him the permission he wants and who is he to say no to you?
-
waking up next to namjoon, in his room, wearing his t-shirt is something you wish you could do every single day but you’re out of time, you have been for a while.
“i don’t want you to leave” is the first thing namjoon says to you in the morning.
“i don’t want to leave you” is your answer, you’re no longer hesitant to say it. he gazes at you with such intensity because he really can’t believe he has to lose you just when he’s had all of you.
“how can i ever say goodbye to you?” he pulls you into him, burying his face into your neck and his sheets shift around you, it takes everything in you to not cling onto him for eternity.
“it’s okay, we had time” you mumble helplessly once you pull away from him.
“not a lot but we had time” you reassure him and this time, he’s the one who gets teary eyed. you feel your heart break at the way his face reddens as he keeps himself from crying.
“we’ll be okay” you whisper, wiping his tears as they escape his eyes, and hug him again, letting him cry into your shoulder, you feel your own sobs caught in your throat as namjoon cries on you.
“i’m sorry it had to be this way. i’m sorry i can’t stay.” you apologize with tears finally escaping your eyes and neither of you have the energy to wipe each other’s tears anymore, you only can cry and hope that time will be kind enough to stretch itself to keep you two together.
“i’m sorry i can’t come with you” comes his own apology.
“thank you for loving me, all of me” as he says that you break down in sobs because how will you ever find someone who loves you, truly loves you? you learned love with namjoon, you’re also learning goodbyes with him, but love was so easy, why were goodbyes so hard?
“thank you for being letting me be your muse.” you brush his cheeks with your fingers, trying to remember every feature of his before you have to let go. and he does the same, with sleepy but cautious eyes, he traces all of your features over and over again, like he’s forcing his body to keep you in his mind forever.
“is this really goodbye?” he asks one last time even if he knows the answer.
“i wish it wasn’t.”
-
it’s been six months since you left.
namjoon feels empty as he arranges the cups in his bakery, he sighs too often for it to be normal because every time he moves, his body reminds him of you, everything about you is etched onto every inch of him and he doesn’t think he will ever move on.
he still circles around the art studio from time to time, pathetically hoping to catch a glance of you working hard on your sculpture, looking up at him with a smile and then crashing into him to become one. he still visits han river just to recall every memory you’ve ever shared.
but he can’t bring himself to go to the lake, the lake where he kissed you like he’s always wanted to, he can’t go there knowing you will not be going with him.
he misses you. every nerve in him screams for you. his friends have been trying to get him to move on but namjoon doesn’t want to move on.
“welc-“ namjoon starts his formal greeting when he hears the door creak open, only for his mouth to hang open when he sees who is at the entrance, he races from behind the counter to rush to the entrance with wide eyes and confused but overjoyed grin.
“it’s actually you, oh my god” he whispers breathlessly as he reaches to touch your cheek and you smile tearfully at him. every night of hoping that you will be back in his arms feels worthwhile when you wrap yourself around him with a happy sigh. he caresses your hair, still not fully registering that you’re actually with him right now.
“so, what happened wa-“ you begin to explain why you’re back in the lively city of seoul and namjoon gently shushes you.
“doesn’t matter, you’re here, that’s all i care about” and with that, you melt yourself back into him, your fingers tracing patterns on his sweater, you missed him so much.
“we need to go to the lake again, i miss freezing with you” he jokes lightly but you know the desperation behind his words, he must have been waiting so long to take you.
“i am ready to freeze my bones with you again” you giggle and he pats your head with a fond smile.
“how long will you stay this time?” namjoon asks, and you notice fear in his voice, you lean back to give him your biggest smile yet. he has nothing to be scared of anymore and you don’t either.
→fireman!namjoon and paramedic!y/n au (warning: drunken sex, oral, etc.) → 11k words; part 01|part 2 |fin. → As a surgeon forced to volunteer as a paramedic in the Seoul Fire Department during an unfortunate probation incident, your one and only goal was to get to work, do your thing, and get the hell home and back to your original high-salary job. But when the SFD’s Chief is the incredibly attractive, cocky, and persistent Kim Namjoon, things start to get heated.
You wake up to the feeling of sweat running down your skin, and then the inability of moving your arms and legs. As soon as you start moving your head, you hear Yugyeom’s voice.
“Y/N! Y/N, can you hear me?”
Your hazy vision focuses finally as you squint into the bright red light in the room. “Yeah,” you croak out, your throat feeling like a desert. “Where am I?”
“Holy shit,” Yugyeom collapses into a chair beside you, and as you look around the room, you notice that you’re in your own hospital, and you are completely wrapped up in a foil blanket, with two heat lamps shining down on you.
You cringe, forehead beaded with sweat. “Can you get me out of this?”
“Oh yeah,” Yugyeom jumps up and begins unwinding you from the foil blanket, reaching up to turn off one of the lamps and then handing you a towel. You frown as you see another gurney wheeled in next to yours, but the curtain is blocking your view. That gurney is also surrounded by heat lamps as well. “What happened?”
“You should apologize to your pussy right now, it’s her funeral.”
Yugyeom was all of us in that first part and I loved it, I loved him! His dynamic with OC was so fun and entertaining. But ok, part 2 surprised me in so many ways (not the smut, though; I just knew it was going to be divine). OC unraveling was a sight to behold bc even then, she’s straightforward and I know that’s attractive to many (her whining was hilarious).
But the angst hit me here - the fear, the worry, the desire for something to last. You ached for them but I totally loved the commitment of namjoon, to his job and to her, and how at the end of the day, he just wants to be happy with her. He’s so commanding but tender and loving. He’s certain but vulnerable, and I liked how they complemented each other. And their intimate moments were to die for this was quite the read and something I really enjoyed!
→fireman!namjoon and paramedic!y/n au (warning: drunken sex, oral, etc.) → 10k words, part 1|part 2|fin. → As a surgeon forced to volunteer as a paramedic in the Seoul Fire Department during an unfortunate probation incident, your one and only goal was to get to work, do your thing, and get the hell home and back to your original high-salary job. But when the SFD’s Chief is the incredibly attractive, cocky, and persistent Kim Namjoon, things start to get heated.
Hi! this is a reupload, and i figured i’d vamp up the title and the header in the meantime! Thank you to the user who managed to save this just in time, after I accidentally deleted it T___T I am forever indebted to you, and I lost your username, so if you see this pls dm me i’d love to write something for as a token of my appreciation!
You roll your eyes, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair as the lawyer continues to lay out the demands.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you huff, glaring at the idiot gangster who’s at the other side of the room. He cringes a bit at your glare, nursing an ice pack against his bruised cheek.
“I swear, he slapped my ass! I was just retaliating!” You cry, frustrated. Your surgery chief huffs angrily at your behavior and you settle back, clenching your fists on top of the table.
The lawyer snarks back, “You also managed to cause damage to the victim’s body in the process. He’s demanding full reparations. Let’s see,” she muses, flipping through the documents spread out on the table between the both of you. “A broken nose, bruised cheekbone, fractured wrist from when he fell, and muscle strains on his lower back, and psychological damage from framing him for sexual harassment and from the physical assault. In total, it would amount the hospital to about $50,000 to cover the hospital costs and the time he would need to talk off from his job, and the continued physical and mental therapy sessions to follow for around 6 months.” She closes the file with a grin. “So, Dr. Y/N, what’s it gonna be?”
No but shit, when he said this, I lost my mind this first part was oh so sexy. The description of Namjoon - from respectful guy to wild rough one - was so good, and even more when we learn more of him in captain mode.
He’s a little cheeky and playful but serious when he needs to be, and I like his push-and-pull dynamic with OC, whose shameless and blunt and no-nonsense attitude is refreshing. They’re fun and captivating and ok, let’s not forget the scene of shirtless bangtan in a fire department like??? IS THIS A DREAM? That was probably one of my favorite parts but eeeek cliffhanger ending!
For more information about this story, find it here
Namjoon’s POV
I step out of my bedroom once dressed for the day and turn my gaze to Y/N’s closed door, mind filled with what she said last night in the bathroom.
I don’t know if she realized that while talking to my wolf, she was also talking to me, but the reality of her words broke my heart once more.
Her adoptive parents really made her pitiful, didn’t they? They wanted so much to be given what they wanted that her comfort and health was completely pushed aside for their own merit, and in the end, what did it serve?
Nothing, if not for years that Y/N will look back to with a frown.
“Hyung, are you okay?” I suddenly hear and when I turn my head the other way, it’s to see Jimin peeking in from the end of the corridor, my scent giving away my displeasure, I sigh as I make my way to him so we can eat breakfast before leaving for work.
I head straight for the coffee machine while he remains near me, waiting for me to speak up patiently. “Just remembering what Y/N said last night. She opened up a little to my wolf, it makes me sad, and mostly angry, what she had to go through”.
“Yeah… did you get any news from the hospital concerning her case with her adoptive parents? They said they would sue, right? If they don’t do anything, we might as well get someone ourselves, we can’t leave this be” he asks, fingers clenched as he stares at my back, but before I can answer, Jin does, his feet silently taking him over to drape himself over the younger alpha.
“They called to inform me that they’ve started the process. Every information concerning her health was given to their lawyer and with what I told them about the way she had to live, for what we know, well it’s going to increase the punishment for her parents, they’re not going to be happy about it, a huge sum of money might be transferred to her bank account and they won’t have a single word to say about it”.
“I don’t care about how much she gets from them, I can give her twice that amounts without even blinking an eye, what I want to know is how bad are they going to get it. They’re not simply going to have to give an amount of money, right? They almost killed her, they have to get something worse than that” Jimin insists, body tensed until Jin scents him gently to help him calm down.
“They will be sent to prison, Jiminie, for a few years surely. When the wolves learn of what they did to her… well let’s say that they might not make it out in one piece. Or make it out at all. No one stops angry wolves in a prison, not if they want to remain unscathed at the end of the day, her parents will regret it dearly”.
I hum, pleased with what I’m hearing. If someone else is going to kill them, then I can rest easy.
“How long until we make it to that point?” I ask Jin who shrugs lightly, unsure of the answer, he must not have been told that much yet. “They didn’t say, only that they would call again when there’s progress, or if they need additional information”.
I tsk my tongue, but nonetheless nod before grabbing a cup to pour the steaming coffee into, it’s not like there’s much we can do in the meantime.
“Let’s wait a little and see how things go, and let’s not tell Y/N about it just yet, she already has a lot on her mind right now and I don’t want her to have to worry about them on top of everything else. Who’s going to stay with her today? Tae and Hobi?”.
Jimin eyes me hesitantly at that. “Erm… no, she’s actually going to work with Yoongi and Jungkook today, she asked them if she could go with them because she didn’t want to stay here and do nothing all day”.
I still, cup about to reach my lips as I process what he just said.
My sweet baby omega, about to head outside after she had a drop yesterday?
“I encouraged it, if she has a nest at the parlour, she can rest whenever she needs it and she’s going to have two alphas with her, we figured it would be good for her, she can get used to other wolves and their scents without being overwhelmed, and if she does get overwhelmed, she goes straight back home” Jimin explains, a little nervous when I have yet to say anything.
I close the distance between the cup and my lips and drink a little of the burning liquid before settling it on the counter, a little harshly, the sound echoes in the silent room.
“I want one of the two betas with them, we’re all starting to know her pretty well, if she sees that the alphas are busy with customers, she won’t let them know that she’s not feeling well, I’m not having her self-soothe when we’re trying to show her that she can depend on us for anything she might need” I demand, a tick in my jaw when I imagine how she might hide all alone when what she would need is a hug, I wouldn’t put it above her to do something like that.
“I think both are free today, they can come with us if they want. It would be nice to have them over anyway, it’s been a while and I’m sure Y/N would love having them with us all day, she adores the two betas” Yoongi states as he joins us, a nod sent my way, he understands fully where I’m coming from with my worry.
“What are you saying? She adores all of us, it’s clear as day on her face when she observes us, her eyes round and sparkling, she’s the cutest when you meet her gaze and she ducks her head slightly” Jin muses, head lulling sideways when he remembers his time with her in the nest, he’s already thinking of the next time, it was perfect, absolutely perfect.
“And she was so brave with my wolf last night, the way she cuddled to us and fell asleep in seconds…” I get chills just thinking about it, heart swelling with love and adoration, a deep purr battling to leave my chest, she was so small, so beautiful…
“She what?! Your- she saw your wolf?!” Jungkook exclaims as he runs over, his mouth agape in shock, he wanted to be the first! It was all planned in his mind! No!
I smirk at him and bring the cup back to my lips, a taunting quirk to my brow. “She hugged us and called my wolf a pretty boy, she was very cute, it was a lovely first meeting, my wolf is still preening with how well it went” I tease him, watch as he pouts, like he just got his favorite treasure stolen from him, except that his baby powder is thriving, he can’t help but be happy about it, happy for us, for my wolf and I.
“What spurred you on? You don’t normally shift in the middle of the night for no reason” Yoongi asks, curious, and the memory of her words has my chest rumbling with strength, eyes creasing with pride, she’d said that like it was the most obvious thing too, our little omega, how full of surprises she is.
“We talked about her joining our pack when she’d fully heal from the poison, that then she would be ours, I didn’t want to go too far in my claiming her but then she went ahead and corrected me herself, said that she’s already ours, my wolf forced its way out at hearing that” I explain, laugh when the room fills with growls, the sounds ecstatic, warm rumbles of pride, they didn’t expect that one.
“Did she really?” Jimin asks, overexcited, he would definitely start jumping with Jungkook if Jin wasn’t still wrapped around his shoulders for support and comfort.
I nod my head, watch as they all melt on the spot, feet itching to take them to her but they resist it, they know that she stayed up late, she needs as much sleep as she can get.
“I hate that I have to leave before she wakes up, damn it!” the alpha whines and we all chuckle, knowing how he’s feeling, although I did sleep all night with her, I’m soothed on that one, I heard it from her in person after all.
“That reminds me” I let out as I turn back to Yoongi and Jungkook, they calm down at seeing my seriousness. “After work, I want the four of you to bring her to get new clothes. What she owns right now, it goes right in the trash, get everything she needs, from a to z, and then a little more”.
Jungkook excitedly claps his hands and nods eagerly. “I was waiting for that one! Of course we’ll go, right hyung?”.
Yoongi sighs and nods his head, feigning disinterest when really, we can all see the small excited smile on his lips. “We’ll go, we can make it fun at the same time and maybe go to the cinema, and then eat something at a restaurant? Just the five of us, you know, it could make her happy?”.
I chuckle at his words, because for someone who’s trying to pretend like it’s going to be a lot of work, he just made this longer for himself if the way Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with dreams and hopes is anything to go by.
“Yes!!! We have to do all of that! Two alphas, two betas and one baby omega, it’s going to be so fun!” he screams before dashing off to his room, he’s going to need to impress the lady because he intends to be the favorite today.
Jimin, Jin and I smile, not saddened that we’re not included in the group in the least, it’s always good to bond in smaller pairs, the three of us can have our time together without distractions, something that can be hard to attain at times when you have six mates to take care of, now seven with Y/N.
“You pups have fun, but please be careful, bring a blanket from the pack nest along with clothes from the shelves, ones that was scented by all of us, just in case. What else… noise cancelling headphones can be good if her senses start getting overwhelmed… you know what, I’ll make a bag myself, I can think of a few things that she might find helpful, let me go take care of it now” Jin mumbles before giving Jimin a quick kiss to the cheek, after which he leaves us to head back to the corridor.
I’m glad we have him to think of all those things, I hadn’t even thought about her hearing getting too sensitive if they go where there are a lot of people, although if she does start reaching that point, the drop would be easy from there, they’d have to build her an emergency nest quickly before we get a repeat of yesterday.
I turn to Yoongi, notice how he’s already staring at me, expecting for me to say something, our sensitive alpha, he really notices everything.
“If anything happens, and I mean anything at all, you call us, okay? I’ll be back home early tonight, Jimin too, Jin might be a little later but he won’t have any patients so we’ll be available to come and get you if you need us, no playing brave, alright? This has nothing to do with proving that you can be a good alpha, it’s about her comfort.
If she does start dropping and you see that nothing is helping her, it’s not your fault, am I clear? It’s not anyone’s fault, her wolf might simply find it hard to relax outside of home, just make sure to keep an eye on her, keep the others from pushing too much, can you do that for me, hyung?”.
He nods his head, his eyes reassuring me, he’s not going to play games today, not when it concerns her and he’ll make sure the others are careful.
I’m sure Hoseok will be on high alert too, his mistake from yesterday will take time to leave his mind, it does bring an advantage today, he’ll notice her discomfort probably before the others do, his every senses focused on her and her well-being, he won’t make the same mistake twice.
“Of course, pack alpha, I understand”.
We share a small smile, a little tense with the day to come, but we’ll need to see how it goes, one day at a time, we don’t have any other choices for now.
Your POV
“Yoongi, Jungkook, it’s come to my attention that I still haven’t seen your tattoos and that needs to change now” I blurt out as soon as the thought crosses my mind.
Hoseok grins from the steering wheel and Jungkook giggles from besides me, Taehyung on my other side while Yoongi shakes his head from the passenger seat. “It’s too late, we left the house”.
I gape at him, the rumbling of the moving car growling to express my shock, Hoseok looks proud of himself when he sees my eyes light up, the timing was perfect, but I force my expression back to a shocked and disappointed one when I find Yoongi’s eyes on me, amusement obvious in his orbs.
“We’re still in the car” I state, to which he nods.
“We are, but we’re not home anymore”.
I huff and cross my arms over my chest, not about to give up now, I can’t believe he’s saying such a weak excuse to me, his poor omega, the only one who has no idea what their tattoos look like, what is this injustice?
“Well, Yoongi, I say that this doesn’t make sense at all. You don’t want your customers to see the tattoos, I understand that, but do you see any of them nearby right now?” I ask him with a wave of the hand to show the inside of the vehicle.
“I can’t see anyone, but as far as I know, the car is not our house, so the deal cannot be applied right now” the alpha mocks me, not about to lose this fight either when he taunts me with a lopsided smirk.
I can’t believe him! “Not even a little one? A little peek? I’ll peek so quickly that no one else will be able to see anything?” I try again, face turning pouty when Yoongi simply shrugs before looking back to the front, a pleased grunt leaving him when Hoseok moves a hand to link his fingers with the alpha’s.
Jungkook nudges my side and smiles at me. “Hyung is a little shy to show his tattoos, give him some time, he’ll probably give you a surprise peek later. I don’t have that problem so I’ll show you mine when we’re at the parlour, it’s going to be easier if I remove my shirt and it’s hard to do in here, be patient for a little more, okay?”.
I try to not focus on the removal of his shirt part and more on the tattoos being shown, but I can’t stop the light pink that takes place on my cheeks and he can’t help himself when he coos, both hands going to cup my cheeks to press a kiss to my nose, his true mate is too cute for his heart.
“You’re right to blush, little rose, Jungkook here likes to work out from time to time, he’s ripped, you’ll see” Taehyung muses proudly, as if he’s the one with said body, but it only causes my cheeks to turn a shade darker, what have I subjected myself to?
“Maybe we can wait until we’re back home? I think Yoongi has a point, it would be better there, we should keep your workplace for work, yeah?” I change my mind quickly now that I know what awaits me but every wolves in the car grin in amusement, they can see through my embarrassment like it’s made of glass.
“You’ve never seen a shirtless man, sweets?” Jungkook hums with a teasing tone, head tilting at me and chest pushed out, does he get to be the first masculine skin I see in all of its splendor? He would love for this to be true.
I bashfully shake my head. “No, you know, there are always shirtless men in the tv shows… I’ve seen plenty of them, I don’t mind, they don’t affect me” I let out, eyes blinking unnaturally fast because this is far from the truth, on TV and in person, close enough that I can touch? It’s not the same at all, I hope my heart doesn’t fail me.
“Is that so? You’ll have no problem with me showing you at the parlour then, it’s decided” the young alpha chirps, eyes seeing through me too easily and I purse my lips, hands turning slightly sweaty the closer we get to work, this is bad, really bad.
The rest of the drive to Pristine Moonlight happens too quickly and I silently blame Hoseok for that, I’m sure he did it on purpose, the car parked behind the building not giving me much options to flee, I shouldn’t have talked about the tattoos so easily, now I’m going to see Jungkook without a shirt, what if I drool? Can I keep my cool, my pride?
I think that’s asking a little bit too much from me, I might just have to hide once I’ve seen it all because there will be no facing him anymore if I behave like a stupid dog in love.
“You coming with us, honey?” Yoongi calls out to me and I look around me to find that everyone is gone and in the building.
I am incredibly tempted with running away right now while I still can, none of them could catch me, not before a minute or two when I’m completely out of breath a few streets away, but is it worth it?
The wolf snorts. “You do realize you just said that aloud, don’t you? If you want to run away, I don’t mind, honey, but you’ll have the four of us running after you and that might be a little scary”.
I huff at him, not liking how he’s currently saying that such a thing would scare me, I’m not a little pup they can scare just because they run after me, I should be the one scaring them because I’m running too fast for them!
Show true mates to not underestimate us, we fast fast fast!
I look at my phone to see that we’re incredibly early, for the unique purpose of building me the perfect nest, they wanted extra time to cuddle before work, all of us together so… customers are not meant to get here for a little while.
We run? I say we run, blame omega wolf for that later, just have fun now!
Oh, I love my wolf.
I turn one foot away from Yoongi and his eyes narrow at me, his lips moving to say something but I don’t hear him because I’m already running away with a giggle, the streets around here ones I know well from going through them often to try and get a job, but my current goal is the green park nearby, the one where I met Yoongi for the first time.
Can I make it there without them catching me? I would be very proud if I make it in one piece!
It’s exhilarating, the feeling of the wind caressing my skin as it blows in my ears, feet hitting the ground loudly with every steps I take, the blue sky over my head clear and devoid of clouds, like it’s encouraging me to keep going, to be strong, it’s an amazing feeling that fills all of my being.
Not hearing anything yet except for the chirping of the birds and the passing cars, I look behind me quickly, wondering if maybe they decided to stay at the shop after all but when my eyes settle on four bodies running after me, my heart skips a beat in fear, because holy shit, Yoongi was right, this is terrifying!
And why are they so fast?!
Go faster, faster!
I’m trying, damn it!
“You guys can’t catch me now! You can’t!” I scream, my voice startling many passersby who quickly get out of the way when I approach but I have no time to apologize when I hear Jungkook’s devilish laughter behind me, way too close, shit!
“You can’t ask alphas to not catch their omega, sweets! It goes against every fundamental wolf instincts!” he muses happily and another look behind me shows him definitely too close for comfort, a huge smile on his face, he’s loving this, but the sight only spurs me to run faster, I can’t let them catch me so soon, I just got started!
I turn back to the front only to shriek when I find Yoongi in front of me, how the hell-
“You really think you can outrun us, honey?” he drawls but before he can say anything else, I make a sharp turn to my right and cross the street as quickly as is safe, no cars within sight, thank goodness!
“I can and I will!” I shout without looking back, throat and chest now burning, because fuck, I’m not used to running that much, but the day I give up is the day I die, so I keep running, the sight of the park getting closer filling me with hope, I’m almost there!
“She’s so fast! You guys are all too fast!” I barely hear Hoseok over all the panting going on right now, but his words make me laugh, soul bursting with joy and pride, this feels so good, to be chased by my true mates, it’s scary but in a good way and I never thought I could feel that way one day.
Jungkook and Yoongi maneuver their new tactic to try and corner me but again, I manage to flee their outstretched arms before they catch me and Taehyung barks out a laugh. “What’s that, our alphas can’t catch our baby omega now? You two are rusty, Jimin would be disappointed!”.
That has the both of them grumbling, every single one of their instincts and senses working to figure out how to get their omega and after sharing one look and a nod, they try again just as I step foot on the grass, arms rising in the air because I made it!
Filled with giggles at my own personal victory, I keep running simply for the thrill it brings me before letting out a gasp when a hand grazes my arm, Jungkook just there, right behind me.
“You quick little wolf, wait until I catch you!” he warns with a smirk, he’s so close I can see the way his pupils are fully dilated, he’s in hunting mode and I’m the prey, there’s no doubt about that, I started something and now I’m also the only one who can finish it.
I see the way his eyes flash with satisfaction, something that makes me frown and when I turn back to the front to see what caught his attention, it’s too late when I run straight into Yoongi who closes his arms around me tightly, the impact sending us both to the ground with a surprised scream because he hadn’t expected that one, although he should’ve.
We roll on the grass until we come to a halt, the both of us facing each other with myself encased in his hold, chest rising with loud breathing as we laugh together, my face going to snuggle in his neck as I try to catch my breath, goodness!
Jungkook drops down behind me and hugs me over Yoongi’s arms, his laughter echoing in the air around us, this was a nice surprise he did not expect, the eldest’s shout that Y/N was running away while giggling something he didn’t know he needed.
None of them had ran like that for a long time, especially not with the goal of catching an omega of their own, Jin would smack them for even mentioning such an activity, it fills them with a deep and pleased rumbling purr, an instinct they didn’t realize was there soothed for the first time in all of their life.
“There you are!” Taehyung’s voice eventually reaches our ears and the three of us look up to see him and Hoseok joining us with an amused shake of the head before taking a break on the grass at our feet, their exhausted grunts making me grin, I can already tell that I will do this again in the near future.
I wonder how Jimin and Namjoon would react? I need to try one day.
“I was not ready for such a run this morning” Yoongi eventually blurts out before peeking down at me, his dark chocolate bursting, rich and creamy and so delicious almost the only thing I can breathe with how close my nose is to his throat, their honey merging in the air and making me swoon, I can’t help the proud smile I give him when our eyes meet.
“My wolf told me to run, said that I could blame it for this later and to just have fun for now” I chirp, nowhere feeling guilty because this was a lot of fun, he leans down to rub his nose against my own, chest rumbling against mine, he can’t even find words to complain, he loved the hunt.
“Your wolf told you to defy your alpha? Such a playful little pup it is” the man hums before dipping his head to my neck, a pleased sigh leaving him when all that meets his nose is light, sunshine and rainbow rain, it’s warm and gentle.
“So it wasn’t to run away from my exposed chest?” Jungkook murmurs from behind me and I blush before shaking my head, not at all! Of course not! This was all for fun, just for fun!
They all chuckle, but ultimately, Hoseok and Taehyung sit up with a groan at the effort it takes them, they’re the ones getting rusty, they need to change that, working in the kitchen between days of staying at home making them softer than they thought they were, they’ll think about following Jungkook to work out more often.
“We should start heading back to the parlour now so we can get working on that nest before it’s time to work, it wouldn’t do to have it incomplete when you would need it” Hoseok states to my intention and I purse my lips, knowing that he’s right, after which Yoongi makes us sit up with Jungkook’s help, breaths still uneven but much lighter than earlier.
All four of them smile at me. “Come on now, let’s get that cuddling station ready for our sweet omega”.
—
“Sweets, come over here”.
I turn around at the sound of Jungkook’s voice, one that comes from the office room that will now also serve as a nest area for me.
With only Yoongi to keep me company as we’d look over the agenda to bring me up to date with the day coming up, the other three decided to work together on my nest, only coming by once in a while to spend some time with us before going back to continue with their task.
I had wanted to go with them a few times to have a look but more importantly, I needed to make sure I would be able to work well today so I did my best to focus on what Yoongi would say, until now.
The soft alpha nudges my side with a smile and sends me off to see what Jungkook might need, to which I nod before going with a happy jump to my step, curious to see what the room looks like now, I’ve been thinking about it for the past forty minutes.
I don’t think much of it when Taehyung and Hoseok walk out of the room with a smile sent my way before heading for the small kitchen where they make themselves glasses of water, and so, I completely miss when their faces turn amused, ears ready to listen in on my reaction when I would enter the room.
I reach the slightly parted door and push it open only to freeze in place when instead of seeing a nest, I come face to face with an exposed bad, very defined shoulders, the skin stretched over muscles that make me gulp, saliva not spilling free but instead leaving me like a dry ocean, eyes wide over the golden skin in front of me, one that is decorated by multiple lines of ink that form letters and forms of all kinds.
“Holy shit and fairy godmother” I blurt out, because while I expected muscles, I didn’t expect that, but it makes sense, it makes a lot of sense if I think back to whenever Jungkook would hold me, or the hugs, I should’ve expected that much.
My eyes take in the whole expense of the back gracing my eyes, lines that don’t really form any shapes but that connect everything together sending my orbs on a journey as I follow them like they’re a puzzle to be solved.
Starting from above the hairline at his nape, a black line along with a golden one twirl together down half of his spine before going to his side where I can see names beautifully written along his waist, names I recognize very well, it’s his pack members and mates, every single one of them, except for his own name.
Then around it, the universe spreads over his skin, from above the names until it reaches up his right shoulder where his arm then shows off multiple doodles and writings that I don’t really understand, it looks like English, he filled in some space with black, but white and gold also dot his skin to form elegant curves and lines, it’s… beautiful.
If I forgot how to breathe with his back, then when he does turn around to face me, my lungs dissolve completely, my heart implodes on itself, my brain melts into a puddle, eyes almost bulging out of my head when I take in the new sight, his abs almost threatening me with how prominent they look, are they trying to kill me? His belly button looks like it’s fighting for its life!
“My belly button is doing just fine, don’t worry, it’s got strong defenses all around it” Jungkook chirps proudly, and my attempt to look up to his eyes fails when he makes his chest muscles move, I gape at the sight before a snort leaves me, because there, on his pecs stand a cute little smiling face, just two dots and a curved line for a mouth.
That’s all! He only has a smiling face!
I burst into laughter as I come to that realization, his back so impressive with all those details while his front is only decorated with three little lines, I find that adorable, as much as is possible with the threat of his muscles still ongoing, but right now, I can only see that little face as it stares at me, eternally happy, I could almost believe it winking at me!
“So? Do you like it? It’s cute right? It makes my intimidating body that much more inviting now” the man muses with a giggle at my expression, I quickly nod while trying to calm down my laughter, it does take the focus away from all his hard-work, that’s for sure.
“And now for the other grand reveal” he states excitedly before pulling me in by the hand to reveal the nest and it automatically brings an end to my amusement, eyes widening once more in shock.
The corner they made for me is absolutely lovely, they used the furnitures that were besides the couch after pushing it towards the door slightly and put them on each sides of the nest instead, a blanket over them to create a roof, and although the front is wide open, it still looks beautiful, the many cushions and blankets looking warm and fluffy and incredibly welcoming.
I have no idea how much could fit in that bag of theirs but by the look of it, the answer is too much, it could probably hide a body easily, something that keeps fueling my suspicions, they’re not very good at hiding from me so far.
Everything smells like pack and it’s divine, it reminds me of the pack nest at the house, but in smaller, and in less intense. The smells are probably going to fade at some point, it’s going to be important to bring the materials back from time to time to wash them and have them scented properly again.
At the sight of this new nest, it takes everything in me to not go in right away and Jungkook smiles at the sight before encouraging me to get in for a little bit while he puts on his shirt again before customers start coming in.
He knows his smiley face is cute but the rest can be overwhelming, he’s simply glad that my scent didn’t spike in uncertainty but instead in amazement, although he wasn’t really worried, I’m not the kind to be intimidated by a lot of ink.
And he has to say, he’s even less worried about Yoongi, the man has a few tattoos of cats because he keeps saying that if he hadn’t been a wolf, he probably would’ve been a feline and so, a complete sleeve of detailed cats is what he has, the same sleeve on which Jungkook tried to draw the animal to add to his collection only to fail miserably because it looks like it died from an unknown sickness.
But Yoongi says he loves it even though it makes him laugh whenever he stares at it and to Jungkook, well that’s enough to not hate it, although he wishes he’d done a better job, he really feels bad about it.
I tentatively make my way to the nest at his approval and as soon as I crouch before sinking into the blankets, the walls around me making the space feel safe, the coffee table nearby an additional protection from the door, I hum, yeah, this is perfect.
“So?” this time it’s Hoseok who speaks up and when I look out of the nest, it’s to see him along with Taehyung and Yoongi in the doorway, all of them expectant in the way they wait for me to give my verdict, is it satisfying enough for my instincts? Should they do better? They can surely do better, they’d just have to start over-
“It’s perfect, I love it” I let them know, content to just stay here, maybe I can be mental support instead when I come here? Inviting arms waiting for them to greet when they need a break, I don’t think I can leave this nest anytime soon, I need to stay here and make sure it’s all warm first.
The four of them heave out a breath of relief and smile at me before coming over, minds all wondering whether they can all fit inside because they know how it is for an omega with a new nest like this one, Jin warned them that it’s possible I might be unable to leave before an hour or two, that it would be easier if they remained with me for a little bit.
I look around me and head further in at the back before motioning for them to come in. “If we all stay close, we can fit”.
Jungkook doesn’t wait for me to ask again when he all but plunges inside head first, a dolphin is what he looked like, it makes me snicker as he comes to cuddle up next to me, face looking all proud of himself and arms pulling me over him to take less space, and when the betas follow in next, Yoongi observes for a moment before hesitating, I can tell that he’s not sure he can fit inside with us, it’s making his eyes droop sadly and my heart with it.
“Yoongi, don’t worry, you can fit, just climb over Taehyung” I let out and the beta snaps his head my way, an indignant look on his face but Yoongi beams before he does so, and when he indeed climbs over Taehyung, multiple grunts fill the small space because “You’re so heavy, hyung, what the heck!”.
“Hush, I’m not that bad, at least I don’t eat cake every single day, and then more because of work, I’m sure not having you on top of me”.
“W-what? I- I mean I do eat a lot, but I don’t gain weight, it’s fine!”.
“You’re still heavy, even Namjoon struggles lifting you up”.
“That’s a lie-” “No, he’s right on that one, hyung, even I find you heavy”.
“Rose! You can’t let them talk to me like that!”.
“Don’t bring her in this, don’t make her lie for your sake, you’re heavier than I am, deal with it”.
I purse my lips into an awkward smile, unsure of what to say to this, except for one solution that will displease them. “You know what? You guys get out, Hoseok can stay”.
The beta tries to hide his smile, very badly must I say while the others start complaining, and where Yoongi first hesitated to come in, now he completely refuses to leave, his body splayed all over Taehyung and Hoseok to block the way out, his lips tight in defiance.
“We’ll be nice, it’s okay, we’ll stop whining, okay? Take that request back, I’m not leaving”.
I stare at him and cross my arms, aware of Taehyung, Jungkook and Yoongi’s eyes on me, waiting while Hoseok remains completely relaxed, the chosen one, he’s doing just fine.
“You really won’t leave?” I ask, and when they all shake their head, I shrug before pulling Hoseok over to climb his lap, his soul buzzing with joy when his arms close around me while the others observe in silence, orbs filled with desire, they want to hold me like this too, it’s unfair!
“Then you can stay, but I’ll cuddle Hobi only because he’s the only one who doesn’t insult his mates” I muse, words that have the beta purring while said others start whining again, a cute pile of huge men having a tantrum, it makes me laugh, they’re so funny.
“It’s not fair! I was holding you first!” Jungkook exclaims, to which Hoseok shrugs as I rest my cheek on his shoulder.
“That’s too bad, now you’re last”.
“Nooooooo!”.
(AUTHOR) This chapter will be the last one for the week, I’m sorry I couldn’t update more but I hope you enjoyed the few ones nonetheless! For the next two weeks, I will be working on Loving hybrids, a story that is not available on tumblr yet, it’s only on wattpad, so I highly invite you to follow me there if you want to have access to my stories more easily!(imnotlauriane)
For more information about this story, find it here
“Are you sure you don’t want to try going to sleep, doll?” Hoseok asks me as everyone starts heading to the bathrooms to do their nightly routines.
Everyone minus Namjoon and Taehyung, the two wolves still not back home, much to my disappointment. The pack alpha needed to stay at the university for a few more hours due to a situation, he didn’t know when he’d be back and Taehyung must be finishing up at the restaurant, it’s already so late.
I nod my head, not sleepy in the least, I napped too much today that’s for sure.
“You guys made her sleep in the pack nest nearly all day, how could she be able to sleep after that?” Yoongi chides, words that have Jin, Jimin and the beta smiling sheepishly, they did do that, didn’t they?
“Well… you have your new phone now so… maybe get used to it then?” Hoseok offers with a scratch to his hair, he didn’t mean to keep me from having a normal night, but then again, their instincts were a mess today, they don’t think it could’ve happened any differently.
I lift it up so he can see it, a smile on my lips. “I’m already downloading a few games Jungkook chose for me, I’ll familiarize myself slowly, maybe I’ll read more articles like this morn-”
“No, don’t you dare” Hoseok stops me there, eyes warning and confusing the others, it makes me giggle because I know exactly why he would prefer I don’t, some of the stuff in there were plain weird, but they were also entertaining.
“Why not? You added everyone’s numbers in here right? I can text you every new facts I find funny, then when you wake up, surprise!” I chirp, too much energy for the current late hour, it’s tiring some of the wolves who simply shake their head before leaving us while Hoseok stands still, eyes narrowing at me.
“You wouldn’t do that, would you, doll?” he asks, his voice a low drawl, he’s clearly warning me but I just don’t feel like shutting up right now, body all giddy with liveliness and amusement.
“You’ll just have to wait until morning to find out” I giggle before hiding out of sight behind the couch’s back cushions, and when I hear his feet bring him closer, I expectantly look up to see his face appear from behind the furniture, his eyes sparkling at my mischief.
“What a teasing little omega we have tonight, hm?” he murmurs as he bends closer to kiss my nose, one that scrunches up at the contact, heart melting for him, it’s like my adoration for them keeps increasing the more I stare at them, and for that, I’m pretty sure my wolf is the cause, not that I mind.
As expected, my purr quickly builds up in my chest and Hoseok smiles tenderly at me, lips pursing as he seems to be debating if he should go to sleep and leave me alone or if he should stay up after all, but his droopy eyes show how tired he is, the emotions of the day finally getting to him, he wouldn’t last five minutes awake.
“Give me two little minutes, my soft bun, I’ll bring you something to snuggle into from the pack nest, okay?” he offers and at my eager nod, he ruffles my hair before walking out of sight, a yawn following him as he heads back to the corridor where I can hear the sound of teeth being brushed and faces being washed.
In the meantime, I take a look at my phone to see that everything has been fully downloaded and I grin, excited to try all of them.
The first one is a game that looks absolutely adorable, it’s a tap-tap game in which you build an aquarium, there’s also another one with a garden and one with kittens, my reaction from earlier spurred Jungkook to get a few of these with a proud grin, something about how they’re relaxing, meant to be soothing, that they’d be perfect for me when I’m nervous.
Then there’s also one that he called an… airpigie? Anyway it’s got these little characters that you can collect to use in fights, the game looked pretty and fun so he made me get it too.
Curious about the last one, one that fits my current mood more than the others do, I press on it quickly, all excited to see the screen change, small videos playing and captivating me right away, why does everything look so good? And it’s so smooth too! I’ve never had anything like this before, my old phone was really bad and would lag all the time, I hated using it but this one is actually pretty nice!
But then again, with how expensive it was, I would give it back to Hoseok and tell him to get a refund if it was bad, you can’t pay that much and receive junk just because it’s all pink and glitters!
A sudden softness draping over my body has me looking up to find Hoseok smiling tiredly as he wraps me into a fluffy blanket, one that I have scented earlier, it has my scent along with everyone else’s and I melt into it instantly, much to the beta’s delight.
“You keep this one with you, okay? If you fall asleep, Namjoon will bring you to bed so don’t worry too much” he muses softly and when I nod, he hums, one last kiss to my nose before he walks away to the bathroom he shares with the others to get ready for bed too.
It doesn’t take too long after that before Jungkook, Jimin, Jin and Yoongi come by one after the other to wish me a good relaxing time, that they’re not far if I need anything, to not worry about spending the night here because Namjoon or Taehyung will take care of bringing me to bed if they see me asleep, and they especially don’t forget to tell me how cute I am like this before leaving me, proud with the blushing they brought to life on my face.
And then, when all doors close, lights switched off and an overwhelming silence looming over my head, I bring my gaze back to my phone after turning to my side, a cushion under my head and another one against my chest to support my arm as I start playing the game.
And the more I play, the story a captivating one, the graphics and plays of colours amazing to my inexperienced eyes, I suddenly understand why everyone used to play these during breaks between classes, students proudly showing off their team while I would drown in study books, oh the things I have missed.
And so, unbeknownst to me, minutes quickly go by until one hour has gone by, then another, levels climbing, my characters getting stronger and a fatigue that still wants nothing to do with me.
At this pace, I might not sleep at all, and tomorrow will see me drinking a few coffees to keep track of the hours until I go to sleep early, but it’s doable, it wouldn’t be a first time for me and so, I keep focusing on the game, the sounds it makes the only thing heard in the room, light flashing from the couch, it’s enough to alert anyone of my presence here.
So when the front door finally opens, I don’t worry too much about making myself known, ears and nose instead focusing on the body that gets closer, and when lavender tea makes it to my nose, I smile before I see the owner’s face peek over to see me laying on the couch all alone.
Namjoon quirks a surprised eyebrow at seeing me still awake in the darkness, a phone device in my hands with the visual of a character who keeps throwing fireballs to a poor tree, he blinks in silence for a moment before registering my state, his pack’s scents drowning me and making me look all cozy.
“Sweet baby, what are you doing all alone here so late?” he asks softly as he makes his way around the furniture after dropping his bag on the floor, body sitting down in front of my stomach and torso twisting so he can gaze at me.
I hum and lock the phone, after which my eyes quickly adjust to the renewed darkness, his body easily visible to my night sight, it’s really cool, I wonder if I’ll ever take it for granted one day.
“Jimin and Hoseok made me sleep in the pack nest before lunch, then after that I went there on my own and fell asleep, then Jin joined me, we fell asleep together again, so when Yoongi and Jungkook came to wake me up before dinner, well… it was already too late, I slept too much”.
Namjoon stares at me with a slightly amused face as I speak and when I’m done, he hums deep in his throat, the sound husky and enough to melt my insides, even more so when he brings a hand to my cheek to get the hair away from covering it before remaining there, gentle as his thumb grazes the skin slowly.
“In other words, you’re not sleeping tonight” he summarizes and I nod, head tilting into his touch, his hand is so warm and comforting, but my mind is very much awake, there’s no avoiding it.
“Yoongi tried to make me sleepy by giving me warm milk, and even a tea an hour later, but nothing worked”.
He chuckles, eyes still gazing at me, drinking me in, it seems that he’s finally allowing himself to relax after being nervous all day, I soften at that realization, he must have been just like Jin and the others, needing to see me to register that I’m not in danger anymore.
“How was work today, Namjoon? I didn’t make it too hard for you, did I?” I ask him, to which he sighs softly before shaking his head slowly.
“It was okay, focusing was a little hard, but Jimin kept me up to date with your state so I wouldn’t feel like fleeing from work to get to you before I could, it’s a big exam period this week so I can’t really afford to take much time off these days”.
I hum at his explanation, feeling bad that this all happened in such a busy period, he doesn’t need that additional stress, nor do any of them really, but then again, it wasn’t anyone’s fault, we were unprepared and my wolf took my emotions and built a sinking ship with it, that wasn’t something we expected.
“You must be sleepy then, you’re working hard and I wouldn’t want to keep you from having a good night rest, you’ll be leaving early tomorrow again, right? I’ll go to sleep later when I’m tired so don’t worry about me, you can go” I let him know, I don’t want to keep him from sleeping but he shakes his head again, a small chuckle leaving him.
“I had a coffee before coming over so I’m not really sleepy, and I was actually thinking about continuing with work in my office here so…” he shrugs lightly, but my eyes widen at hearing that he wasn’t even going to take a break after working until this late.
“You can’t be serious, Namjoon!” I exclaim quietly, eyes round and staring up at him in disbelief before I shake my head, hands gripping onto his own still on my cheek with strength, like I’m going to let him overwork himself!
He grins at the sight gracing his eyes and I frown at him, lips pursing unhappily. “You can’t work so late, I’m against it”.
“Oh, you’re against it? Well I guess I don’t really have a choice then, I can’t possibly work and upset you, can I?” he muses, endeared when I quickly nod my head with bright eyes, proud that it worked so easily, omega needs to protect alpha, omega’s job, pack alpha needs break, let’s keep him near.
“So what should I do then?” he asks as he looks around us, the space very limited with how I currently am positioned, I do have one solution that comes to mind, but would he want to go along? Does the pack alpha like to cuddle just like everyone else?
“How about I lie down behind you and you keep playing that game of yours, I could watch you play” he offers as if he had free access to my mind, it has my eyes widening, heart beating happily, I swear if I had a tail, it would wag behind me without end.
Lavender tea, warm and soothing, honey poured into it gets closer as Namjoon climbs the couch to slip in behind me with a contented sigh, the proximity doing wonders to his instincts, his wolf finally getting the relief it was seeking all day but couldn’t get.
Being away from his pack is always hard to begin with, so being away from his true mate during a day of hardships? He would’ve crawled all the way back here if it would’ve allowed him to see me sooner, he would’ve done it without hesitation.
I resist an excited giggle at feeling myself get wrapped up in his embrace, one of his arms over the blanket covering my hip while my hands peek out from the extremity in front of me to get a hold of my phone, and after he makes himself comfortable, myself pushed into his broad and strong chest to make sure I don’t fall off the couch, he breathes in deeply.
“I’ve been thinking about this all day, it feels even better than I imagined” he says softly, a tentative drag of his nose against the exposed side of my neck, he relaxes when he feels me melting into his touch, nothing like our first experience after my running out of the hospital.
“I hope today’s misadventure won’t keep you from trying to go out again, or from depending on us. Monetarily I mean. I know it’s a big change, it’s a lot to take in and Hoseok should’ve thought about it before exposing you to such a thing as a black card first, but… it’s become normal for us, we don’t really think much anymore before using it so I hope you can get used to it too, someday”.
I pause a little at his words before opening the same game from earlier again.
“Well… it really shocked me, you know? Back at the shop, I was already slightly on edge at knowing that I was in such an expensive place, so when I saw him pull it out like it was no big deal… yeah, it did hit me pretty hard that you guys are… like there” I raise my arm to show him how high they are in my eyes “while I’m… here” I then bring it a lot lower.
Namjoon’s about to say something, his lavender turning strong but I smile and speak before he can.
“I was sensitive and my wolf brought that out of proportions, so I didn’t really handle that thought the way I should’ve, but it’s fine now. I mean, will I get used to it right away? No, but I’m aware that it’s among the first things I need to accept in this current reality, you guys are not poor and I’m aware that while I stay with you, my old way of living won’t have a place here either. It’s just a lot, but I’ll… I’ll get used to it”.
His scent softens and he squeezes me tighter in his hold, his strength grounding, he feels like a barrier against the whole world, it’s calming.
“So you are open to staying with us? You’re not going to try and leave?” he asks softly and I chuckle before shaking my head. “Why would I go away from my seven true mates? I feel like you guys would keep calling me and ask me to come over if I did, it would only waste everyone’s time and resources”.
His chest rumbles in contentment as he rests his head behind mine, nose rubbing into my hair. “True, we’d be so needy that you would probably grow annoyed of us and our heats would be insufferable with you somewhere else than here”.
Just imagining it has me wincing. I’d probably end up with one of them breaking down my door just to make sure I’m safe like everyone else since I’d be living alone, no more alone time while peeing, that’s something I’ll need to expect with the seven of them, aren’t I?
“How much more intense does it get with a true mate compared to a chosen mate? For your heat” I ask him, needing to prepare myself, surely their heats are going to hit at some point soon, Namjoon hums, his eyes falling on the game that shows a little map of quests before answering.
“Well… it really depends on how well surrounded the true mate is. In your case, you have seven of us, which means you’re rarely going to be alone, that’s going to soothe one part of our instincts, but we’ll still need to have pretty much a constant sight on you because we need to keep you safe at all cost.
You want to cook? Don’t touch sharp knives, you want to play around, make sure you don’t fall and get hurt, when you’re hungry, you’ll get more food than you can eat, things like that. You’ll be drowning in our clothes, to a point that you might sweat from being too warm, but then we’ll give you a lot of water so you stay hydrated.
We’ll just be… constantly overthinking about what you might need, what might be wrong until it’s over, it’s going to be… a lot for you, especially the first time it happens but there’s not much we can do about that, that’s just how it is for alphas. Betas’ heats are much softer, they’re mainly there to make sure everyone remains healthy and happy, they’re not that affected by it and for yours, it’s going to be a little different too, the same goes for Jin as you’re both omegas.
Your wolves will want that very same attention that might have been overwhelming during ours. You’ll want to be kept safe, you might feel too needy, constantly seeking cuddles and hugs as well as nesting with us, but since all seven of us are your true mates, we’ll be able to keep a rotation going without you panicking at every instants.
It might sound scary said like that, you’ve never experienced one after all so it sounds like you’re going to become someone entirely different, not in control of yourself anymore, and that would be true in a way, because your wolf will be much closer to the surface than usual. A lot of omegas spend it shifted because it makes them feel better, but don’t worry, we’ll make sure you experience that before your first heat.
We should have Jin have a look at you to try and determine when your heat might hit, just to be sure, although I doubt it’ll be anytime soon, not with how unbalanced your system currently is, the poison did a lot of damage that will take time to heal so you shouldn’t concern yourself over that too much, okay?”.
Damn that was a lot of information. I blink a few times as I process what he just told me, that basically, everything that I’ve had to endure today, it’ll be even worse.
But then again, I did kind of adore the attention I got, so in a way, maybe I’ll be fine? My wolf and I are both starving for affection and physical touch, we might just end up purring from start to finish for every single one of them.
“But… you guys are seven… four alphas so… I might not have much of a break, considering how long heats normally last, it’s a few days right? Are yours all close to one another?” I ask and Namjoon tenses a little before shrugging sheepishly.
“Well… you know how human females end up getting their cycle at the same time when they spend a lot of time together?”.
Oh no.
I turn my head to see the way Namjoon purses his lips cutely, he can see the despair in my eyes.
“We have our heats all at the same time”.
I am going to die.
That’s why he kept saying we, they will literally be hovering around me to make sure I’m not dying all at the same time, and that will in turn kill me!
“It sounds worse than it is, really. We’re all mates so we all end up getting through it without much struggles, we just make sure to be stocked on food before it starts and we make sure to have a few days off work so we can stay at home. Pack nesting happens often and we just… enjoy that time.
We talk, we share how much we love each other, we laugh and cuddle and then life resumes” he tries to reassure me, and as sweet as he says it, all I can register at the moment is how I will have at least four wolves eager to burrito me into blankets with glasses of water besides me, hands ready to keep me away from any possible sources of pain, which might just be walking at this point.
“When is it due for?” I ask, a little nervous and at Namjoon’s silence, I purse my lips before exhaling deeply.
“It’s soon, isn’t it?”.
“It’s next week”.
Okay, it’s okay, don’t panic.
You have a few days left to prepare before being completely smothered, I have a feeling that Jin won’t want me to leave the pack nest not even one second then, just what kind of experience will that be?
In a way, I guess I should use that time to learn? Because Jin is an omega like me, so seeing how he handles it might show me how it’s going to be for me, right? And the way the others act with him will surely be how they’ll act with me?
Oh boy, this is making me so nervous now, how many scent highs will I be pushed into without being able to resist them?
Namjoon rubs my waist in comfort over the blanket. “Don’t worry, like I said, it sounds worse than it really is. Hoseok and Taehyung will be there to guide you through it when we can’t, Jin will want to cuddle and us alphas will be there to watch over you two, we’ll try to make it so you can still have some alone time if you really need it, although that might be hard for the younger ones, but we have betas for that purpose, they can be firm when we go over the top”.
I nod my head, that’s reassuring, makes me really glad that they’re not all alphas, I’m not sure I would survive otherwise.
“Okay… I’ll trust you on that one, Namjoon, I just don’t want to be forced to remain still, and I don’t want to be pushed into a scent-sleep again, no matter what happens, okay? I’m expecting scent highs to happen but that’s my limit, I want to keep as much of a clear mind as possible” I request and he nods quickly, eager to reassure me that he will listen.
“Of course, yes, I promise it won’t happen, the others know that too, we’ll do our best to not swarm into your space constantly, as long as we can see you, we should be fine, it’s just… you know how it is for wolves, heats are for possible mating so the most important is that you remain safe, our wolves would go crazy if you were unwell”.
We remain silent after that, the game completely forgotten because there’s so much information being processed, but it had to happen at some point, my transition from being a human to a wolf requiring more efforts because many things are new for me while others simply need more details.
“Can I ask you a question, Namjoon?” I eventually ask him and when he hums curiously, I let my mind trail back to what Yoongi and Jungkook had said when I woke up earlier, the little I can remember of their conversation.
“How does it work, to be made part of a pack? Yoongi said earlier that Jin was always meant to be pack omega, that with me, he could have his instincts soothed, that means he needs me in the pack right?”.
Namjoon’s arms squeeze me tightly, nose sliding against my ear, it brings goosebumps all over my skin, his musky scent, lavender and honey gaining in intensity, the good kind, I can even feel the way his chest starts rumbling in purrs, it’s sweet.
“Would you want to be part of my pack? To be officially mate with everyone, my sweet omega?”.
His voice has gone down in pitch, low and thick with want, how much he wants for this to happen, it curls around my heart like a vice, yet it doesn’t tighten, ready to pull back should I refuse, it brings life to thousands of butterflies in my stomach, soul tingling with the prospect of being theirs, entirely theirs, and my wolf preens at the thought too, my purrs starting to fill the silence, they spur his to raise to the surface too.
I shakily nod my head, breath short as I feel his lips start to go down my ear, to my neck and shoulder before going back up slightly, I startle a little when I feel his teeth nip the skin softly before he licks it over, a pleased grunt leaving him at the act.
“When you’ve completely healed from the poison, when there’s not a single trace of the damage it did to you, then I will make you mine, ours” he promises with a kiss over my skin, slow and tender, I melt in his hold, I should be disappointed that it’s not going to happen now, yet his promise I know to be sacred, and it’s not like I can’t be with them in the meantime.
Although there’s a little correction to be done in what he just said.
“Namjoon” I start, a little breathless with how his lips keep tickling the soft skin between my neck and shoulder, a sensitive spot that he keeps decorating with invisible kisses, he wants them colourful, but he can tolerate for now that they only hold his scent, it’s proof enough of what he’s allowed with me.
“What is it, ‘mega” he lulls me into answering with his raspy voice, the strong vibrations of his purring coursing through all of me, I barely feel my own leaving me as I close my eyes, the pack alpha’s pheromones so strong that I could almost feel them in the air if I so much as waved a hand through it.
I inhale deeply and smile before speaking, curious of what reaction this might pull out of him.
“I am already yours, aren’t I? All of yours”.
His breath hitches in his throat and when a growl rips out of him, it feels like it’s coming less from him and more from his wolf, his hold on me secured and unwilling to let go, he breathes in harshly before resting his face in my neck, like he’s fighting for control.
“Shifting, need to shift 'mega” he gasps out and my eyes widen when I process what he just said, his wolf wants to come to the surface and it’s apparently very intent on not giving Namjoon much of a choice.
I bring a hand over his arm that covers me, soft and soothing as I squeeze my fingers around his forearm.
“It’s okay, alpha, I don’t mind, omega doesn’t mind” I muse and it’s instantaneous, the way he stops struggling, one last kiss to my skin before he sits up and scoots away from me, the loss of his touch leaving me cold and buzzing with excitement.
Am I going to finally meet one of their wolves? The pack alpha wolf? It’s almost scary, it’s like meeting the CEO of a big and impressive company, his wolf is at the head, it’s at the top, it decides, it makes the rules, and when I hear clothes ripping apart, Namjoon not allowed much time to remove much of anything, the quality of air changes, the first warning I get that the human-like version of Namjoon is gone.
His musky scent, one that previously was in the background, behind his lavender tea now comes to the front and my skin tingles, soul both recoiling from the very strong presence now besides me and needing to get closer to it, the air drizzling with the intense dominance of a wolf, thick and filling every inches of it.
Overly aware of the silence now taking place around me, not a single sound made if not for the breathing that doesn’t sound like it’s coming from a human body, I slowly sit up, body tense with nerves, fingers slightly trembling and when I turn my head towards Namjoon, I see a gigantic wolf instead, the couch’s size now one I understand, it’s also made to fit these big creatures.
Are they all shaped like a titan or is it just his wolf in particular, I don’t know, but I feel like a kitten next to a… well next to a wolf, except that I’m in my human form and I feel like the difference in size still applies.
The wolf gracing my eyes is entirely grey, from head to toes, except that his coat is decorated with spots of brown here and there, the eyes a deep and beautiful brown and as they stare right back at me, I see no trace of Namjoon, this is his wolf, mind sharp and smart, I can see the understanding and affection it has for me, it’s… very special.
Unsure of what to do, of what to say, I remain still as a statue when it jumps off the couch with a loud thump of its paws on the floor before making its way towards me and once in front of me, it pushes my legs apart with its nose before coming to stand between them, and even then, it’s a head taller than me, it hovers over me, beautiful and strong.
“Pack alpha” I breathe out, unable to not marvel over what I’m seeing, over what I’m sensing, if Namjoon felt safe, his wolf is the definition itself of the word protection, there’s nothing, not a single thing that could get past its attention, not a single thing that could harm me, it is imposing and demands respect, and I’m only too willing to give it, soul fluttering when it leans down to touch my nose with its own.
Tentative at first because I don’t know how it might react to my touch, I lift a hand to its head, and when my fingers disappear into the fluffy fur, all warm and soft, it leans into the touch, eyes shutting slowly and head tilting into my palm, the purrs coming back and melting all that I am, this feels magical.
“What a big pretty boy you are” I muse, to which it chirps softly, it makes me giggle and then I can’t resist it, both arms circling around its neck before I find myself hugging the beast and holy muffins and all that is sugar, this calls to my nesting instincts like I didn’t know possible, I just want to snuggle in there and forget about the rest of the world.
I rub my face into its fur and it remains still, content to indulge its omega, I said it myself, that I am theirs, it couldn’t be more overjoyed, it had to come out and let me know how grateful it is, how pleased it is, my acceptance of them all they need, all they want.
“Well well well, what is this lovely sight I come back home to?” a new voice suddenly says and I startle, the wolf grunts before nudging my side with a paw, I am safe, and when I look back, it’s to see Taehyung smiling at us, endeared by our unconventional duo.
“Joonie hyung’s wolf couldn’t resist being the first one to show off, huh?” he teases the beast who grumbles, body sticking to me as if allowing air in between us would bring forward the end of the world, it makes me giggle when it chirps and whines lowly, is it trying to explain its reasoning?
“Ah, is that so? Well I understand then, my wolf probably wouldn’t have been able to resist too, you just had to let her know that you are hers too, is that it?”.
My eyes widen when the wolf nods with a pleased grunt before nosing at my cheek and Taehyung smiles proudly at the eyes that fall on him in disbelief.
“With the pack mark, it’s easier to understand each other’s wolves” he explains before making his way to us and I hum, that I didn’t know, it’s pretty nice.
Taehyung sits next to me on the couch and wraps an arm around me with a kiss to my cheek. “My little rose, what are you doing up at this time? Namjoon didn’t keep you up by force, did he?”.
An indignant huff from the wolf and Taehyung chuckles while I shake my head, body leaning into his slightly while Namjoon’s alpha wolf remains as close to me as is possible.
“No, I actually slept too much today, it’s very hard to get away from the nest once you get started, Yoongi and Jungkook woke me up before dinner but I could already feel then that I would find it very hard to fall asleep tonight. Namjoon was keeping me company after coming back from work”.
“I see, so you’re still not sleepy right now?” he asks and I shrug lightly, fingers going back to the wolf’s fur because it’s that soft, it’s comforting, I might be able to sleep soon if I’m comfortable enough, but I don’t think I could if I remain alone, my bed barely smells like them, it feels bland, like it lacks flavors.
Taehyung’s apple pie sweetens as it goes around us in a light embrace, it makes both Namjoon’s wolf and I purr, even more so when I feel his lips to my throat for a soft scenting, my body drooping between the two of them.
“I think we should bring you to bed, baby rose, you would be surprised how easily you would doze off into sleep” the man muses, a deep hum as he registers all the scents sticking to me, I smell like pack, he loves this.
I yawn and nod my head, knowing that in the long run, me sleeping would be best if I want to go to work tomorrow with the two alphas, I don’t want them to leave without me again.
“I don’t mind, but… can you two stay with me? I don’t want to sleep alone” I ask in a plea, eyes raising to meet both of theirs sheepishly, Taehyung’s chest puffs out in delight while Namjoon’s wolf preens in contentment, of course they will, anything for their omega.
“It will be a pleasure, sweet rose, go brush your teeth, wash your face and change into a pyjama first, okay? You can get settled in with this big wolf here while I take a shower and I’ll join you two very soon” the beta requests and I nod, that I can do.
“You be fast, right? Don’t take too long in the shower” I ask him, to which he chuckles with a nod of the head. “Don’t worry, rose, I’ll be fast. Now go, let Joonie’s wolf guide you, he can keep you company while I grab my clothes”.
A grumble from said wolf gets my attention and when I turn my gaze to the beast, it’s to see its eyes set on me, tail wagging behind its huge body as it waits for me to stand up from the couch to head to the bathroom with it.
“Say, you’re not going to watch me change too, are you, big wolfie?” I ask it as I manage to make it to my feet, a little wobbly at first but my hands find purchase in its fur, fingers grabbing some of it to make sure I don’t fall like a stupid sleepy person.
It grunts a few times, but I can’t really tell if it’s a yes or a no, so I turn to Taehyung to make sure that I’m not going to have to fight with the pack alpha, but the beta is already walking away to respect my request of not taking too long, I sigh before turning back to the beast.
“If you just said that you are indeed going to do that, we’re going to have a problem, you and I” I let out as we start walking towards the corridor, the big wolf a little higher than my waist, it’s insane.
It grumbles unhappily, I can guess that it at least wants to be near and that I can tolerate. “As long as you don’t look while I’m changing, you can stay. But if you do look, I’m going to blindfold you, pack alpha or not, no one gets to look at my boobs without permission”.
A pleased huff and a hit of the tail against my butt, it makes me giggle in quiet, our presence near the bedrooms meaning we could easily wake them up if we’re too loud, none of us want that so from there, we don’t make any noise as we enter the bathroom I share with Taehyung to get ready for bed.
With me facing the sink and Namjoon’s wolf curling around my back to keep me steady, I brush my teeth with a fancy electric toothbrush that was neatly set aside for me, then wash my face with the same facial products that Taehyung uses, something he says he doesn’t mind in the slightest, my skin has been shining healthily ever since I started using it, it’s nothing like my cheap multi-purpose lotion I used before.
“You know, wolfie, if I don’t focus on the price behind every item I’m using, this isn’t so bad. I never really liked what I was using before, everything was managed so that I could eat at least a few meals a week, it wasn’t anything fancy even then, but sometimes I could afford myself some good old chicken and that made me happy, as if I wasn’t eating rice balls and ramyeon every other days” I tell the silent wolf as I pat my face dry with a soft towel before grabbing one of the creams.
“If I told mom that I didn’t have enough to buy shampoo or soap for the dishes, she’d just say that I was bad at managing the money her and dad gave me and to deal with it, but the thing is that I would limit myself for everything, I didn’t even buy myself new clothes when mine would break, I’d invest instead in a sewing kit because I couldn’t afford anything.
I wonder if they did that on purpose, maybe they really wanted to break me, make me lose my faith, they just wanted to see me crawl over and beg them to take me back” I continue with a shrug, it almost feels like another life, I’ve been allowed so much from my short stay here, the seven men have been so caring and gentle with me.
“And man were those winters cold, the walls were thin like paper, heating up the apartment would go through my whole budgeted money like it was fuel to fire, it felt useless to really heat at some point. You should’ve seen me sometimes, I looked like a yeti with all those blankets around me” I giggle at the memory, I’d get every single one of them and tie them with a belt, it was funny whenever I’d walk past a mirror.
The wolf’s head comes to rest against my stomach with a small whimper and I caress its head with a small smile.
“But you know, now the things I find funny don’t come from my misery anymore. Now I laugh because one of you do something weird, or when you guys tease each other, and all of you are so warm and you always make sure I’m okay, it’s… it’s really nice. I never thought I would experience such kindness one day, I’m really thankful that Yoongi talked to me that day”.
We stay like that for a moment, Taehyung’s scent nearby, he must be leaning against the wall besides the bathroom’s door, my words making it to him without barrier, I wonder how he must be feeling right now, his scent seems sad, sugar slightly burning, I guess my words made him upset.
“Do you think I can give you back as much as you’ve given me one day? I know I’m not financially independent just yet and I know none of you would accept anything I would buy for you without scolding me for not keeping it for myself instead, but at least in taking care of you, and showing you that you’re all very important to me, could I one day give back the whole extent of your kindness and love?”.
Taehyung opens the door and hurries to wrap me in his embrace, tight and strong, his scent wavering between his apple pie and burnt sugar, like he doesn’t know how to feel. “You’re already doing enough, sweet rose, just by being in our life and by allowing us to hold you, you’re doing more than enough”.
I smile, my insides melting and tingling. “Yeah, this is what I’m talking about, you’re all too kind” I muse, arms meeting at his back, Namjoon’s wolf stable around the both of us, it stays like a grounding presence, tall and safe.
I yawn, fatigue starting to make itself known with a light weight over my head and both wolves take that as sigh enough that it’s time I head to bed.
Taehyung pulls back slightly and cups my cheeks as he gazes softly at me, thumbs gentle over my cheeks and under my eyes as his scent softens back to his honey apple sweetness. “Will you be a good omega for me and get in bed? I will join you very soon, okay? Don’t think anymore about the past, let Joonie’s wolf keep you warm and cozy until you fall asleep, hm?”.
I tilt my head into his warmth and nod slowly, a tiny smile appearing on my lips, if that makes me a good omega… “I will, wolfie’s fur is perfect for nesting into, it’s all warm and smells good, and it’s going to be even better with you” I hum before yawning again, my limit attained for the night.
A kiss to my forehead before he nudges me softly towards the door, the wolf close on my heels. “It sounds like you’ve already planned how to make most of our situation, go get settled then, my cute little rose, don’t forget to change into a pyjama, I put a new one on your bed”.
Say no more!
Excited at the prospect of yet another new pyjama, I hurry out of the bathroom and to my room, the wolf letting out a surprised chirp at my sudden dashing off before it runs after me and Taehyung chuckles before closing the door behind him so he can finally get that shower and get off all the sweat of working in a hot kitchen.
Indeed, as soon as I enter my bedroom, I find on my bed a cute pyjama, and as soon as I touch it, I wonder once more just how Taehyung could find such a marvel, no doubt some of his unicorn blood was traded for it, there’s no possible price for this.
Eager to put it on and feel it on my skin, I get ready to remove my shirt but then remember the presence in the room, one look over my shoulder showing the wolf who looks away instantly, caught staring, it sure was.
“Pack alpha” I warn, and it grunts before closing the door, face then towards the corner of the two walls, it won’t look.
“You don’t look or you lose your sight, you choose” I tell the wolf just in case it would cross its mind to try again and when it grumbles as if saying a very long explanation of why it should or shouldn’t have a look, not that I would know, I shake my head before removing my clothes quickly to jump into the pyjama, my nerves keeping me from taking my time because… how trustworthy is a wolf when its true mate is nearby and naked?
I adjust the fabric over my body and once sure that I’m proper, I call out to the creature and turn around on myself to show off the cute night outfit, its chirp of approval putting a smile on my face before I point at the nest.
“Now it’s cuddle time, I wonder how it feels like with a real wolf, go on big wolf” I muse, it doesn’t let me ask twice when it rushes past me and on the bed with a pleased rumble, body turning and turning and turning and turning and- “I think it’s fine now” I let out when it has yet to settle, body going for another circle with a non-threatening growl before it finally lies down with a small exhale.
“You good now?” I ask, just to be sure that once I’m in, it won’t step all over me, but at a nod of its head, I turn off the light and climb in, the heat that radiates from its body enough to pull me in like a moth to a flame and when I let myself fall against its side, it’s to find myself pushed straight into a new world of fluffiness.
It’s instantaneous, the way my purr leaves me at the new comfort that shouldn’t exist, face nuzzling into its coat, the musk that sticks to me getting that scent of rain, it’s so nice, it fills the room quickly and without much resistance, my nest is going to smell so good tomorrow.
I feel Namjoon’s wolf’s wet nose brush against my temple before it tentatively licks my cheek and when I purr more in response, it huffs a small warm breath, head going to rest on a nearby pillow, tail over my waist, satisfied because omega is purring for alpha, the wolf couldn’t ask for more.
Already, in this position and surrounded by such comfort, I can feel myself slipping away into sleep and I cuddle deeper into its body, no doubt I’m almost disappearing into the fur at this point.
“Good night, alpha” I murmur, a goodnight wet kiss to my nose the last thing I register before I finally lose the fight for the day.
For more information about this story, find it here
(AUTHOR) I apologize for not having updated at all this week! I was really busy and couldn’t write at all! I hope you guys can forgive me and enjoy this sweet chapter!
“Was that enough? Do you want more? I can make you something else if you’d prefer more filling food? I’m not as skilled as Taehyung for baking but I can surely manage some sweetness” Hoseok offers from the other side of the table, eyes meeting mine in silent expectation after seeing me empty my bowl of soup in a time record.
I sheepishly gaze back at him, embarrassed that I was caught digging in like it was my last meal on earth, but the reality is that I was starving, it felt like I was eating for ten and today’s events probably had something to do with that.
“Didn’t Taehyung leave some leftover chocolate bites in the freezer?” Jimin speaks up from the kitchen as he gets himself a glass of water, eyes gazing at my expression long enough to see the interest flash through, it has Hoseok jumping to his feet to have a look himself.
Chocolate would cheer her up for sure, he tells himself, soul eager to be forgiven after the failed outing.
My perking up at seeing him hurry to the freezer doesn’t go unnoticed and when the beta opens the door with a swing that threatens to destroy the poor thing, Jimin can’t resist peeking over his shoulder, an additional pair of eyes working to find the sweet treat for their soft omega.
“So? Did he leave anything? Maybe behind the containers? Or behind the dumplings?” Jimin asks, lips bitten nervously when Hoseok doesn’t answer, fingers pushing everything aside and making a mess of his hard work organizing it all because he just wants to find at least one piece of dessert.
I observe in silence, get increasingly worried because I can smell their scents turning nervous, they’re taking this too seriously now, it’s just dessert, right? I can survive without any, really!
“Guys, it’s okay, I’m not really hungry anymore anyway, that soup was more than enough” I try to assure them but they both shake their head, now on a mission to find something sweet, chocolate, candies, it doesn’t matter, they’ll give me something, their wolves have found purpose and they will accomplish it.
Wolves want true mate happy, let them work.
My eyes widen at the clear voice that resonates in my head, a purring that doesn’t feel like it’s mine at the back of my mind, it’s such a weird feeling, but there’s no doubt about this, my wolf just spoke to me.
Jimin stares at me and pauses his searching as he registers the shock on my face. “Love, are you okay?”.
Hoseok peeks out from behind the freezer’s door and at seeing my face, he closes it before both men make their way to me, noses smelling my windy rain, not quite a bad one, it’s more like it’s out of surprise, they still can’t help but be worried when I have yet to answer.
“Doll? Is something wrong?” the beta asks as he crouches in front of me at the table, Jimin behind him and it takes me a moment to admit it aloud, it’s not like it’s the first time this happens but… will I ever get used to it?
“I just… I heard my wolf talk to me” I mumble and the two of them relax instantly, eyes warming up in understanding, this is all so new for me after all.
“What did it say?” Jimin inquires and I blush a little, my scent turning all soft rain, cinnamon almonds and honey making me want to smell more of it, as if the cuddle session from earlier wasn’t enough. Steal blankets and nest with true mates?
My blush deepens and I hide my face, too embarrassed to say it aloud, how dare it say exactly what’s on my mind back to me!
“Could it be that it liked how we were trying to make you happy?” Jimin tries with a sultry voice, it’s teasing and gentle, and the small peek between my fingers to briefly stare at him answers his question, it makes both men preen in pride.
“I’ll bake something, okay? We’ll get that sweetness done” Hoseok decides with a firm nod of the head and before I can even try to hint at my other plan which consists of cuddling more because it just felt so good earlier to be that close to them, it pleased every single cells of my body, he goes off running to the pantry to get everything he believes necessary.
I pout a little, plan ruined, you can still steal blanket, blanket doesn’t betray, and yes, it’s right, blanket doesn’t betray.
Under Jimin’s curious eyes, I stand up from my seat at the table and walk past him to head back to the pack nest, the blankets there smell like everyone, if I bring one to the living room, it’ll feel like they’re all home.
And then when they get back home, we can all cuddle together?
I nod, that sounds perfect.
It’s like something has changed in me after conversing in the pack nest earlier, to accept the instincts that flood through me, to not resist them, isn’t this normal?
I’m an omega, I’m allowed to steal nest materials, this is my right, especially if my wolf’s the one asking for them, that’s what Jimin said, right?
I enter the room, unaware of the alpha following me discreetly, his eyes creasing with pride at seeing me enter the pack nest from a distance, this is what he wanted, for me to walk around freely without fear, and now he wonders if I’ll walk out again or if they lost me to the magical nest.
I reach the bed, lungs filling with the seven different scents, scents that feel like home, when did this start happening? It feels like everything is moving too fast, yet not fast enough at the same time.
To have had my instincts caged for so long, they must be eager to finally have a freedom, to be soothed just like they should’ve been a long time ago, it feels good to not have to resist anymore, things I used to find weird before now finding a right to exist to their full extent.
I part the curtains of the beautiful nest and then grab the fluffiest blanket, face rubbing into it the best thing in the world, everything is so soft in here, it makes me want to get in and just… scent everything.
Do it.
I look behind me, at the parted door, and after one moment of hesitation, decide to give up on walking out of here. This is where I will spend the rest of my life from now on.
Feeling a strange yet comfortable haze settle over my mind when I close the curtains behind me to really get that cocoon effect, fairy lights giving off a pretty orange glow to the area, a purr starts building in the back of my throat at being in such a cozy space, one that smells like my seven true mates, perfection, this is perfection.
I lie down in the middle of the nest and rub my face into the pillows, a satisfied purr leaving me when my own scent starts being added to the lot, it makes me want to do it more, I want them to smell me as soon as they come here, I want to be part of this.
Just one more surface.
I turn around and pull a blanket closer, rub my face into it, bring it to my neck, unconscious of how it has me falling into a trance of bliss, every scents sticking to me, it’s like paradise, but it’s not enough yet, their scents are so strong, I need to add more.
More.
Jin’s POV
Finally back home, my first urge is to find my poor omega, how is she feeling now? Is she feeling better? Is she still shocked because of what happened outside? Did they make up? What about Hobi? How is he? Did he cry?
So many things I want to make sure of, it has my wolf and I feeling restless, we couldn’t take a single break today, there were just so many patients in need of my help and I couldn’t nest for even two minutes, it’s making me cranky and sadly, most of it fell on Hoseok, which makes me feel terrible.
To know that she couldn’t nest when she was in such a big need of it when I myself was in the same situation? It all hit too close to home, I didn’t want her to feel the way I did and at reading his messages, it made me really angry, I shouldn’t have let my instincts take over that way, I need to apologize to Hoseok.
As soon as I step foot inside the house, I’m met with the sweet smell of baked goods… is that chocolate croissants? Is Taehyung already back? I thought he would be home late today.
I head to the kitchen when I have yet to find anyone, body tense as I try to resist the urge to run to the pack nest, I just need to see everyone first, after I can go and get that itch out from under my skin.
There, to my surprise, I find Hoseok and Jimin, the two of them working together on decorating little cakes, warm croissants cooling down besides them, cheeks and noses covered with vanilla cream, happy glows to their eyes, they sure had their fun, it warms my heart, rids the image of a crying Hobi I had stuck in my mind.
They both turn to me when they smell me and smiles appear, joyous almonds and cinnamon, it makes me tear up, heart filling with guilt for the way I had talked upon learning of what happened to Y/N, I really didn’t mean to be so angry at him, he didn’t deserve any of it, he didn’t know.
The beta drops everything he’s holding at the sight of my growing tears, scent turning sharp and he comes running to hug me tightly after washing his face with a towel, his scent pushing out pheromones to calm me, his shushing voice soothing, I melt in his embrace, tears running down my cheeks as I hug him back, I’m so glad he’s fine.
“Is our omega feeling bad?” Jimin muses softly as he comes to join us, his hand rubbing up and down my back and when I nod, Hoseok hugs me with even more strength, his almonds sweet, so sweet.
“It’s okay, hyung, you were right, all of you. I really messed up, I’ll make sure it never happens again, I promise. Jimin was very grounding ever since he got here, he took care of everything, it’s all good now, both with me and with Y/N” the beta explains with a gentle voice, it has me heaving out a sigh of relief, thank goodness.
I take my time to scent him properly, it’s not the same as scenting an alpha, but he’s a mate all the same and it helps, my boiling emotions getting the slightest respite, he doesn’t hate me.
“I’m so sorry, Hobi, I really didn’t want to be like that, you were already panicking and instead of helping you, I made it so much worse, I’m sorry” I tell him, a pressure over my heart lifting when he coos and kisses my forehead, he already forgave me, of course he did.
We keep hugging each other for a beat longer until my wolf growls, that nesting urge still not gone, I’m truly getting at my limit, senses in disarray, it’s very uncomfortable.
“You need to nest, don’t you? You should go now, hyung, there might be a surprise waiting for you, a terribly adorable omega completely blissed out and passed out right in the middle of the blankets and pillows. She pushed herself into a scent coma” Jimin informs me with a giggle and I pull back to stare at him in surprise, did she really?
“In the pack nest?” I ask, hope in my voice, did she really go there all by herself?
When they both nod, a small nudge towards the corridor to spur me on, I break into a run, needing to see for myself, just how much of her scent was added into the pack nest, and to have the possibility to nest with another omega?
It’s a dream come true, it really is.
Being the only omega in a pack isn’t always very fun, the others don’t have the same nesting urges as I do, and it’s not their fault, they don’t need it the way I do, but with her… things can be different.
As soon as I reach the door, I become aware of the sound of heavy purring on top of her scent flooding the room, the sweetest version of it, it has my own purr rumbling out of me before I even step a foot inside because this, this is heaven on earth.
I never knew that a scent was missing in our pack until we met Y/N, her rainy roses everything we need, all of us.
I open the shut door and enter inside, soul and heart giddy to find out how sweet and soft she currently is and I’m not disappointed, far from it when I part the curtains to find her under a pile of blankets, her arms rubbing the fluffy duvet unconsciously, her adorable purrs filling the silence, lips parted, yet the corners unmistakably curl into a smile, a treasure for my heart, I’m in love.
I carefully climb the nest and close the curtains behind me before making my way to my true mate, my cute little omega, lie down besides her before pulling her towards me with one arm under the blankets and over her waist, she’s so warm, it’s soothing me instantly, every struggles and worries I had today disappearing thanks to her.
It’s like her rain is washing away every impurities that were swarming me, she’s purifying my soul and filling it with rose water, an aroma that makes me breathe in deeply, I could never get tired of her scent, one that depicts her as mine.
With the both of us purring like madmen, it settles a deep instinctive need to care for her that I had dragged behind me all day long upon learning of her situation, her wolf wouldn’t be this content if she wasn’t feeling better now so I can allow myself to truly enjoy this moment, my wolf in ecstasy in front of such bliss.
I nuzzle my face into her neck as I slide under the blankets covering her to be part of that warm and delicious cocoon, her body brought even closer to mine, the way she fits into me like the missing piece of a puzzle sending happy waves of delight from my ears to my toes.
“My sweet omega” I murmur before mouthing at her throat, it causes her scent to spike up, rose water on my tongue, but there’s also a hint of every other scents in the nest, she rubbed the nesting materials all over her skin, it makes me proud because that means she’s starting to claim us as hers, she’s trying to accept instincts she might not understand, she allowed her wolf some control.
Whatever it is that Jimin did and said today, it made things move and I’m so thankful.
It was a worry I had, that she would resist the instincts because they would clash with her human mind, with what she grew up learning, the things that her adoptive parents might have forced her to go along with, or the things they would have stopped her from doing.
Living the way a human does is not made for wolves, as similar as we are, we are also incredibly different.
A small whine reaches my ears when I lick her throat and I find myself grinning slightly, tongue lapping over her scent gland, possessiveness crawling around my heart at the sound of her sweet voice, my beautiful omega, so small under me.
Ours.
Yes, ours.
Thick and fat rain that drizzles over my head, roses bursting like someone keeps throwing petals all over the place, I can’t keep my mint from wrapping around her, the way I keep adding more to her skin, it oozes in the air, it gives a coldness to the rain, but it’s not uncomfortable, it’s nice, minty roses, I don’t hate the mix, it’s like a very original garden.
“Is a certain lovely girl waking up?” I coo when I hear her breath hitch in her throat, I can feel it under my lips, it’s fascinating, addicting.
“J-Jin?” she manages out, voice nearly giving up on her with how strong of a daze she finds herself in, remains from the scent-coma she pushed herself into, but also from being scented by me that way, it’s not something she’s used to, not yet.
I don’t want to stop giving love to her delicious skin, but I also want to see her shining eyes and so, I pull back and adjust myself until I hover right above her, upper body propped on hands that rest on either side of her head while the rest of my body cuddles her side, I take in the flushed cheeks, the dreamy orbs, oh how beautiful she is like this.
Moving down to one elbow, I get even closer to her, my breath fanning over her lips, it has her pink turning into a red as I bring my now free hand to cup her face, thumb sliding over her chin and lips, how soft and plump they are, I can’t wait to have a taste of these one day.
My purring resonates directly against her chest, she can feel how strong it is, to a point that it overrides her own and I can see the way her eyes nearly roll backwards because of it, because purrs are known to be soothing, healing, there’s no way even the smallest worry could pierce through our wonderland right now.
“My pretty girl, how are you feeling?” I ask her, preen with the way she has to try very hard to focus on my words, her brain melted, enchanted, she has to rebuild some of it to be able to process and answer, it’s absolutely endearing to see.
“I… feel good, very good” she eventually murmurs, eyes blinking lovingly at me and I hum, the urge to kiss her so strong, but it wouldn’t be fair for her, not when she’s in that state, when everything is so new, so I instead settle for her cheeks, nose, forehead, everywhere but her lips, but I will have them one day.
Her soft giggles echo around me as she starts recovering a little bit more, it takes everything I have in me to not return to her scent gland and push her back in that daze, my wolf needing nothing more than to keep her close to me at all time, under my protection, today hurt her and I don’t want it to happen again.
“Did Jimin take good care of you today? Did Hobi apologize, my sweet muffin?” I ask her instead, eyes gazing into hers, enough strength back into her orbs to be able to comprehend more of my words, she nods after a moment, a smile forming on her lips.
“They both took good care of me, and Hobi apologized more than necessary so I made sure to let him know that it was okay and we… talked a lot, Jimin explained things to me and made me promise to be good to myself and to my wolf, I said I would try”.
I hum at her words, incredibly pleased by what I’m hearing.
“That makes me happy, sweetheart, very happy, you deserve to be good to yourself, you deserve everything good in this world” I tell her with another peck to her nose that has her smiling shyly to me.
Her eyes dart to my neck and I observe in wonder as she bites on her bottom lip, a little unsure of herself before she decides to wrap her arms around my torso to snuggle into me and a happy rumble leaves my chest at the act, all of my soul content with this private moment I’m finally spending with her.
I let myself fall to my side to give her more access to my throat, both arms circling around her waist to keep her close and when I feel her nose graze against my scent gland, I close my eyes to enjoy this with her, the soft tickles sending tingles to my heart and soul, my scent pushes out of me, eager to flood the air and please her instincts.
A cuddly little omega. It seems that while today was tough on her, it also opened her mind a little bit more to her reality, and by the same occasion, to us as well.
“I thought you would’ve been back later” she says after a moment and I shift a little to lie on my back, arms pulling her on top of me to cradle her close, I like having weight over me and she doesn’t complain, instead naturally curving her body to fit the new angle she finds herself in, cheek resting against my shoulder, her fingers running along my other softly in a distracted manner.
“I was supposed to, but I couldn’t handle being away from you anymore and most patients I had to see were mostly betas and alphas at this point so I asked another doctor who was free to take them for me. Called in sick for the rest of the day” I explain, words that have her pausing her fingers for a moment before resuming.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry everyone today” she murmurs, her purrs weaker, it alerts my mind, because nesting is not over, I don’t want her unhappy in the nest I spent so long building, this is a safe space, happy space, need true mate happy.
I hug her tighter and shake my head, pheromones oozing out to cheer up her mood, because as weak as mine are, they still act well on her since my pack rank is above hers.
Even though her being in our pack is not yet official, her wolf knows, it reacts instantly, soothed as her body melts into mine.
“It’s alright, omega, we just want to take care of you, not being able to leave work when Hoseok told us what happened made us tense but we knew that Jimin would be able to take care of you well, the others will just want to cuddle with you to reassure their wolves when they’re back too, lots of cuddles for our sweet girl” I assure her and she nods lightly, the thought of more cuddles causing her purrs to get stronger again.
“I love cuddles, I didn’t know I would love it that much but I would cuddle forever if I could, it’s so warm and cozy, and you guys smell so good” she admits with a tiny voice, embarrassed about it but the fact that she voices it out anyway sends happy tingles across my soul because that sounds like a request, doesn’t it?
She wants us to know that she enjoys them and that we can seek them out with her, she will want them just as much.
“I’ll be sure to let the others know” I croon, purrs seeping out of me with much more strength than I have ever known myself to be able to produce, it makes her giggle, her shyness turning into amusement at the feeling that spreads through her body and I chuckle, unable to stop them, I’m just so happy.
“Let’s stay here until the others get back home, okay?” I ask her and immediately, she nods, the idea obviously pleasing her as she noses at my scent gland softly, her purring merging with mine.
“Let’s do that”.
Your POV
“Look how adorable they are”.
“I know! And I’ve never heard Jin hyung purr that loudly before, look at his face, he’s in heaven, Y/N’s heaven, it makes me jealous, he’s never purred like that with us”.
“Right, his omega wolf must be jubilant. Jin wasn’t meant to be the lowest rank in the pack, so when we do formalize her being with us, him being the pack omega is going to make him much more comfortable, he’ll have someone to take care of, someone who will look up to him, look up to his wolf, it’s what he’s always needed”.
I listen to the ongoing conversation with a distracted mind, only a few words registering but senses mostly focused on Jin and on the mattress dipping to one side, baby powder and dark chocolate filling the space, it’s Jungkook and Yoongi. Did they come back from work?
A gentle hand that cups my cheek and my eyes flutter open to find Jungkook smiling at me, his eyes warm as he gazes at me. “Are you back with us, sweets?”.
I giggle lightly and nod my head, the older omega’s arms still around me and holding me tight keeping me feeling so cozy and safe.
“I think so… today was filled with cuddles and naps, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight” I admit and Yoongi sighs with a smile and a shake of his head in fake reprimand at my words.
“Those wolves could only think of spending time with you that they’re going to ruin your whole sleep schedule… well, we can see what we do about that when we get there, how about you come with us for now? It wouldn’t do to have you go back to napping, dinner is already in the oven and it should be ready in maybe one hour, I took over for Hoseok tonight”.
I purse my lips at the prospect of leaving Jin’s embrace, I love the feeling of his purring as it travels through my whole body, it’s so soothing, like it’s melting all the stress out of me, but at Jungkook and Yoongi’s expectant eyes, I eventually nod my head and let the youngest alpha help me get off of Jin without waking him up.
It’s not easy, my body so soft and relaxed that my muscles have all but given up on me, and he seems to notice too because the next thing I know, my eyes end up facing loose blue hair, baby powder strong in my nose as he cradles me in his hold, arms holding me up carefully into his chest before he gets us out of the nest, Yoongi close behind with a pleased smile.
“Is everyone else back now?” I ask them as we exit the room, door slightly shut to give the other omega some more napping time before it’s time to wake up and Yoongi shakes his head as they resume walking.
“No, but Namjoon is on the way, as for Taehyung, he’ll be back later, he won’t eat dinner with us because he has to cater to a few people tonight at the restaurant”.
I hum, a little bummed that Taehyung won’t be here anytime soon, but knowing that I can see him later, that I will be here to greet him when he comes back, it makes me feel better about it, so I continue on to the next subject on my mind.
“Could I come with you to work tomorrow? I think I’d be fine going now, plus you two are going to be there so things can’t really go wrong, what do you think?” I ask, eager to do my job, I barely worked a full day with them, it’s ridiculous.
The two of them share a look at my words, unsure of what to say, am I really ready to go after what happened today, after my reaction to a lack of nesting?
“Wouldn’t it be better to wait a little, honey? You just had a long day” Yoongi tries, worried but I pout and give him my puppy eyes, I can’t stay here forever, can I?
“I’ll bring a blanket from the nest? If I ever need a time out, I’ll burrito myself and call for one of you?”.
Jungkook huffs softly and nods his head, much to Yoongi’s disagreement, he rather wouldn’t risk it just yet, but I do make a good point, that’s what I was missing yesterday so if I have a nest at my disposal, things wouldn’t turn that bad again.
“I guess we could make you a nest in our office, we only go there when we need to draw on a project, you could have it as your own space if you need a break” the older alpha mumbles as we enter the living room where Jimin and Hoseok are now sitting calmly, the TV turned on on some news channel, they both turn to us when they hear his words.
“Are you leaving to work with them tomorrow, doll?” the latter asks, a little worried, but when I nod my head excitedly, Jimin hums, pleased.
“That’s a good idea, it’s going to be good for her to accommodate to her wolf there, she’s going to get the perfect balance of calm and customers, she can get used to new scents without being overwhelmed since you guys have a good ventilation system, I’m all for it”.
The merman has spoken, he’s on my side, my hero, all hail good merman Jimin!
Said man’s cheeks blush prettily, a wide smile stretching his lips and he bows slightly. “This merman is at your service, my love, anything for you”.
I blink as a blush creeps up my cheeks too and both him and Jungkook giggle while the other two let out a soft sigh, knowing that there’s no going back now if I have two alphas on my side already.
Namjoon’s the only one who could get in the way if he thought that it would be a bad idea, but they already know he won’t, he knows her in capable hands with them both, he trusts them like no other pack alpha could ever trust their members.
Yoongi shrugs lightly before going to the couch to cuddle between Hoseok and Jimin, soft scenting happening under my eyes and marveling my senses as I smell dark chocolate, almonds and cinnamon merge together to create a new dessert that I would love having a taste of.
“Well I guess there’s no point in avoiding this, Jimin does make sense, and we’ll be there anyway, two alphas can surely handle a breakdown if one ever occurs” the eldest eventually concludes and Jungkook and I both cheer at his approval before the youngest alpha starts spinning us in circle happily.
“We’ll get to be together all day again!” he chirps and I nod my head quickly, arms holding onto him tightly to avoid slipping away and flying through the air, I’m not a bird after all, it has both alphas and the beta tensed as they keep an eye on me until Jungkook starts slowing down the spinning, his head turning a little dizzy, it makes him giggle.
“Let’s not forget that it won’t be to play, but to work, right?” Yoongi reiterates to make sure and when we both nod assuredly his way, he lets slip a small grin, his heart unable to resist such a cute sight.
“Alright, come join us, let’s watch a little something while we wait for the lasagna to be ready”.
I gasp at his words.
“Lasagna?! Yes!!!” I scream as Jungkook walks around the couch to join them and they all chuckle at my clear excitement, Yoongi a proud wolf because he’s the one who came up with the idea, he even made the pastas himself with Hoseok’s directives, he really wanted to please his true mate, so to hear that it’s working, he’s indeed a preening wolf.
We end up all squished on the couch, myself still on Jungkook because there’s otherwise not a single chance for me to make it in between them and we all giggle like children at the way legs have to raise over knees to make it work, it’s a mess of tangled limbs but it feels good, it feels right.
“So… lasagna, explain your reaction, doll, you like it that much?” Hoseok asks once he’s comfortable, interested to learn more about my taste, he can already think of different variations of the meal and he wonders if I would love them as much as the classic tomato one.
I shuffle on top of Jungkook to have a good view of the cook who looks ready to take notes for future references, it makes me grin, he looks so cute like that, his curious eyes on my own, hearty lips curled upwards, he’s beautiful.
“You’re probably expecting a very meaningful explanation, but in all honesty, I just love that dish with all of my being because it’s the best, most delicious food in the whole world and pastas rule and added with cheese and whatever sauce and garnishes you want to add, you’ve got world domination in your hands, that is all” I let out seriously, and when silence greets my words, I nod to myself, satisfied.
There’s the simpler explanation of… I just really like that dish, but then…. where would be the fun in that? What I said is much better.
“Well that is not what I was expecting to hear at all, but I can’t say I’m disappointed” Hoseok blurts out, eyes round as he stares back at me before breaking into laughter, Jimin, Jungkook and Yoongi not far behind now that it’s fully processed in their mind.
“I guess Yoongi hyung really had a wonderful idea tonight, must be why he insisted for it despite it being a lot of work” Jungkook muses happily, arms embracing me from behind as he snuggles into Jimin’s side to seek more comfort, one I am also allowed when the latter’s hands come to find mine sweetly.
I look down as his fingers weave through mine to interlock tightly and I smile at the alpha when our eyes meet, his cinnamon melting and seeping into the air and around each of us, it easily expresses his delight and love.
“It makes me happy, but now I’m also starting to be nervous about it, I hope it’ll be good” Yoongi mumbles, his nerves slightly spiking up until Hoseok nuzzles his side softly. “It will be good, hyung, I was there to help you, you did every steps very well, it’s going to be delicious”.
I turn around to stare at the worried alpha. “Honestly, Yoongi, you can’t do worse than my first and last attempt at making lasagna for myself, that one was a mistake, good for trash, even the wild animals wanted nothing to do with it, I might have made a new type of poison that day”.
A few huffs of disbelief echo at my words and heads shake. “Impossible, I would’ve eaten it, those animals are just inconsiderate” Jungkook states and I shift to stare at him.
“Jungkook” I start, take in his unwavering eyes, he truly believes what he just said.
“It was black and a knife couldn’t make it through the bricks of pastas, I had to put the whole glass container in the trash” I say, notice how his gaze wavers, doubt filling in his doe eyes, would he still try to eat something that could break his teeth?
Jimin snorts. “How did you even do that, love?”.
I shrug as I rest my head on Jungkook’s shoulder, back against his chest. “I fell asleep and woke up to black smoke all over the place. My lasagna was in fire”.
The four men tense up immediately, eyes widening and wolves grumbling in panic, true mate cannot cook EVER again.
“Oh honey… you know falling asleep while food is in the oven is very dangerous” Yoongi murmurs, his voice chiding and I know that very well, but I was just so exhausted that I couldn’t keep my eyes open a second longer, I thought my alarm would’ve gotten me up but I slept through it too many times.
“I know” I pout, fingers playing with Jimin’s to keep myself from meeting their staring eyes. “I never tried to make big food since then though, the deception was huge”.
Huge like a tsunami, all this wasted cheese and pasta… that was a sad day indeed, the poor cheese…
Jungkook nuzzles his face into the side of my neck with a sigh. “Whatever are we going to do with you, our cute little omega? If you ever want to cook something again, you can ask one of us here and we’ll help you, it could be a nice activity to do together”.
Well that certainly would be fun.
“Good, we’ll do that next time then” he chirps before sighing with satisfaction as he grabs the controller for the TV from next to Jimin. “Now let’s watch something else than these recurring news, we can watch those funny videos of people failing stuff instead”.
“Do you think I could’ve been part of those videos too with my failed attempt at lasagna?” I ask as the channel changes to the right show and Hoseok hums, although it sounds slightly judging.
“Sweet bun, I rather think yours would’ve ended up in a show of examples of things to avoid doing” he claims and I scrunch my nose in displeasure. “One that only eighty years old people watch? Now that’s no fun”.
Yoongi huffs. “Almost dying because of a lasagna in fire is not meant to be fun, sweet thing”.
I grumble under my breath and decide to fully focus on Jimin’s cute fingers and the show on the TV, not having anything to retort to that, because he’s right.
“At least it sounds better than dying from adoptive parents poisoning the child under their responsibility” I eventually let out with a pout and the air stills at the bad memory, angry growls rising to fill the silence.
“Right, still need to deal with these guys” Jimin murmurs under his breath, fingers clenching around my own and I smile awkwardly to myself, that sounded highly ominous, didn’t it?
“You guys are not going to do anything to them, right?” I ask, unsure if I even want to hear the answer and when indeed silence greets my words, nope nope nope.
“You know what, let’s just watch this show, yeah? Then we can eat good lasagna” I hurry to blurt out, because I’m not taking part in something illegal, oh no!
If I have mafia mates, I’m not digging into that just yet! Give me some time to adjust, damn it!
For more information about this story, find it here
Jimin’s POV
“Where is she?” I ask as soon as I enter the house, the group chat running wild after Hoseok’s description of what happened on their walk outside, when he took Y/N to get a phone as well as getting some fresh air.
He shared all about the way she got upset about something that she wouldn’t open up about, when she got mad when he tried to help her before running off and how she needed to be scruffed to calm down again, her emotions out of control, he explained everything in details.
He didn’t understand why that happened and he wanted help, guidance, but instead of it, he got swarmed by anger and disappointment from our mates.
Jin: Hobi, you didn’t bring any emergency nesting materials?! She’s still way too sensitive to be confronted to anything relatively stressful yet!!! Her wolf doesn’t understand anything, team that up with upsetting emotions and concerns and you’ve got a storm to clean up!!
Namjoon: He’s right hyung… She’s in a very vulnerable state right now, there’s a lot of change going on around her, not just with her presenting as an omega, but also with her living conditions Going from alone to being with seven wolves who she learns are her true mates, as well as being overly aware that we’re… well… rich, it’s a lot to take in You should’ve asked her to wait outside after making her choose the phone, seeing your black card when she’s been living in such awful conditions for so long? I can’t even begin to imagine what must have gone through her mind
Yoongi: Hobi… you should’ve told us about your plan before going It would’ve been better if one of us alphas came along, just in case This could’ve been avoided
Even without seeing any members of the pack, it was easy to see that everyone was mad, and poor Hobi was right in the middle of it even though he hadn’t meant for things to turn that way.
It just didn’t cross his mind because she’s fine when she’s at home, such an unstable omega isn’t something we’re used to dealing with, how was he supposed to know that it would turn that way? He just wanted to make her smile, he wanted to spoil her, any of us would’ve done the same in his place.
“She’s in her room, she hasn’t come out since we’ve been back” I hear him answer weakly from the floor besides her door as I enter the corridor and the sight breaks my heart, his eyes red and puffy, clearly he’s been crying upon learning that her tantrum was because he hadn’t prepared enough for the eventuality of her becoming overwhelmed, just a scented hoodie or a fluffy scarf would’ve helped.
I make my way to him and kneel in front of his curled up body, hands cupping his cheeks to make him look at me, his sour oranges bathing in their own juice, like he’s just on the verge of melting into a puddle on the ground to hide before the others get here.
“You didn’t do it on purpose, hyung, okay? We all know that, the others are just on edge because they can’t get to her now, they know that you didn’t mean things to turn out that way, they’re not in their right state of mind so don’t take it too much to heart, hm?” I assure him, needing him to understand that.
When it concerns the well-being of your true mate and you can’t even do anything to help, it’s enough to make your wolf grow enraged. Biting off the finger that touched her hair for a millisecond becomes instinctive, they can’t help it, even if Hoseok is our mate, as well as being her true mate too, their wolf doesn’t care in the heat of the moment.
Hoseok knows that, he knows, but the beta can be so sensitive, it’s easy to forget and indeed, at my words, his eyes fill with water again, his chin wobbling under my fingers and I whine at the sight, Hoseok crying such a rare thing, I hate seeing him in this state so much.
I push down my own burned papers and try to get my cinnamon out instead to soothe him, lips brushing against his closed eyelids to remind him that despite everything, we still love him very much, things will be fixed, we just need to learn how to take care of our new omega, all of us.
It’s a learning process for everyone, none of us are perfect, we just need to take the time and share what we doknow so that the whole pack can be on the same level of knowledge. A lack of information leads exactly to what happened today, Hoseok is not to blame for it.
“Do you want to go and make some soup, hyung? You two haven’t eaten anything yet, right? It’ll keep you busy while I take care of her, while I see if I can get her out of the nest” I suggest, wanting nothing more than to distract him with a task that he enjoys doing.
That’s what I want, but at the mention of her empty stomach, he blinks quickly before letting out a quiet sob, hands reaching out to cover his face, shoulders shaking and making me hover over him, instincts just on the verge of making me pin him on the floor for an urgent scenting.
“I’m such a bad true mate, Jiminie, I completely forgot about lunch” he whimpers out and I wrap him in my arms, his head settled in the nook of my neck while I kiss the top of his head, my hold on him strong, the others really have been too harsh on him.
“You’re not a bad true mate, hyung, not at all. We’re all learning here, it’s just not easy to do because Y/N herself doesn’t know what she needs, what she wants, she doesn’t know her limits either. We’re not magicians, there’s bound to be errors at some point, the important is that we learn from them, okay?”.
He sniffles and nods his head lightly, rubs his nose into my skin to get more of my cinnamon, I let him get what he needs, his oranges not quite back to almonds yet, but at least with my own scent, his doesn’t seem so bad anymore, it helps.
“Now, how about you get something done in the kitchen, hm? We’ll be there soon, can you do that for me, sweet beta?” I ask him, the slightest hint of alpha voice used, and when he hums in approval before standing up to his feet with my help, I smile, pull him in to kiss his nose until he lets out a soft giggle before I let him go.
And when he’s out of range, I sigh and turn my attention to the closed door, knowing that she’s on the other side in… I don’t know what state.
She must be upset because of the way she behaved earlier, she must believe that it was her overreacting or something of the kind, I hope she’ll be willing to listen to me.
I just want her to know that just like Hoseok, it wasn’t her fault, it’s simply her wolf being overwhelmed as much as she is. It’s not helping either of them, but they can’t control that side of their bond yet, it’s too new, they have so much to learn, our pretty little pups.
Hopefully the nest made her calm enough to let me in at least a little, I wish she would let me know what made her upset in the first place, Hoseok did write in the group chat that she admitted to having worries that she doesn’t want to share, she doesn’t want to be looked down upon.
I can understand the feeling, the need to keep a brave facade in front of others, to look like everything is fine when in fact, we’re breaking from the inside. It’s painful, yet so hard to stop, I don’t want her to do the same as me, I don’t want her to hurt in silence.
I open the door leading to her bedroom, expect to find her in the bed, I honestly imagined one big mountain of blankets with her right at the bottom, but when I find it intact, nest just as she’d left it and empty, I freeze, eyes looking around the room to find that there’s no sign of her, none at all.
Not visually anyway.
Her scent though… it seems to be coming from the closet, the door shut on her.
Did she make herself a nest in there? She must have needed an additional feeling of safety, it wouldn’t be unusual, but the nest hasn’t been touched, she couldn’t possibly have gone to get some stuff from the pack nest or our rooms, so what-
I shake my head in skepticism, unable to believe that she would do such a thing, she hasn’t been hiding in there on the cold floor without anything to keep her warm, there’s a limit to how mean you can be to yourself, if she’s been denying herself her nesting instincts…
Anxious to find out, I open the closet’s door and what I see has my guts churning, heart dropping to my feet, my wolf growling in despair and my blood boiling in my veins as I take in the sight in front of me.
Oh my poor omega… why do that to yourself?
To see her rolled like a cinnamon bun in the corner of the larger than small space with a pillow cover over her shoulders… it makes me want to cry, mind unable to process what I’m seeing, because why did she choose to be there instead of the nest we made for her?
Heck, it feels like anywhere would’ve been better than the spot she chose, this… cold, empty space.
There’s no clothes in here, nothing to bring even the slightest sense of warmth, it makes me mad, fingers clenching in shock as my soul tries to process, to understand and failing right away because no matter the cause, this is wrong.
Her scent is stuck in a permanent storm even as she sleeps, arms hugging her shivering form, it has me reacting instantly, feet taking me to her before I scoop her up into my arms and gosh, her skin is freezing, this isn’t okay, no matter what took place in her mind to convince herself that she deserved this, it will never be okay.
With a grumbling growl constantly echoing off of me, I ignore her nest as I make my way out of the closet to head to the pack nest instead where our mates’ scents are strong and overwhelming in the best way possible, unable to think about anything other than the fact that I’ll have to make her understand that from now on, ignoring your instincts in such a painful manner is a big no.
We even have a rule for that damn it! You do not forbid your wolf to seek comfort, no matter what happened prior to that need!
If Jin had been the one finding her miserable form in the closet, she would’ve gotten a huge earful until she would’ve started crying before he would even consider slowing down, because as a doctor for omegas, he stressesthe fact that nesting is vital, an omega needs to nest often, no matter how weak it makes them look and feel.
You do not avoid nesting to look tough, or to punish yourself, there are plenty other ways to do that, but hurting yourself? Not one of them.
I reach the gigantic bed in the middle of the nesting room, one that was specifically made to fit seven grown men, blankets hung from the ceiling and draping around the handmade shelving unit surrounding the bed to create this cozy space with just enough fairy lights and candles to give it a romantic touch.
Each shelves were decorated carefully by us, pictures that we love, little figurines that we found cute as well as spare pillows, blankets and scented clothes, the pack nest is always ready to bring comfort.
And since Jin likes to do things with just a bit more impact than others normally do, he chose blankets with his face all over them, the Jin Kingdom, where your worries disappear, because how dare you be sad in heaven?
Gosh I love him.
Storm clouds bring me back to the matter at hand and after moving her to one arm so I can part the curtain of fabric to gain access to the bed with the other, a paradise of fluffy pillows and blankets, our clothes hidden somewhere in there, I doubt we’re ever finding some of them to be honest, our omega was not taking any chances with us getting them back, they’re here to stay, I settle her in the middle, grab the warmest thing I find to cover her freezing body with before turning my head towards the door.
“Beta, pack nest, now!”.
Body itching to join her to take care of her properly, I get in the bed to spoon her, arms pulling her into my chest just as I hear feet hurrying over, Hoseok’s nervous scent filling the space before he peeks into the nest to see her trembling in my arms.
“She was in the closet on the cold floor with a stupid pillow cover over her, get in and help me warm her up” I demand, take in the way his eyes widen in shock before he climbs in bed to lie down in front of her, his arms meeting mine over her body, his nerves registering her freezing skin and not liking it one bit.
“Why… why did she choose the floor when she has a nest? I don’t understand, I really don’t understand anything today” he mumbles, eyes meeting mine in confusion and pain, I can see his thought process clear as day.
If only she could be easier to read, the years that we’ve accumulated between us offering us a comfortable ease, we’d all forgotten what it meant to not know someone that well.
The process of learning every little quirk and habits to someone new, it’s not an easy one and we can both see that we’re going to struggle more than we’d like to admit, the journey with her won’t be a simple one.
As long as Y/N doesn’t want to open up to any of us, we’re going to have to do this the tougher way - through trials and errors.
Gosh, she reminds me of how I was in the beginning. I swear, Namjoon had enough of my behavior more times than I can count, Jin even had to take me aside and scold me for over two hours once because I’d waited until getting really sick before even daring to open up about my pain.
That’s one thing I regret, because it took from me what I loved the most at the time - dancing. Ends up that trying to ignore a constant pain in your ankle for too long can damage it severely.
I can’t put my weight on it anymore, which means that I can’t dance like I used to and it took me a long time to accept that new reality, and it’s sadly what it took me to finally understand how important it is to not keep everything to yourself.
Sometimes it only results in more loss and pain than necessary.
What would she have to lose to understand that herself?
“She’s going to tell us exactly why she did that when she wakes up, which shouldn’t take too long now, not when she’s surrounded by so many strong scents, I want her to explain to me her day, all of it in details” I answer Hoseok’s question, eyes falling to the little I can see of her face, eyes already starting to move under her lids, they should open soon.
He purses his lips at my tone and decides to keep his mouth shut, because he knows to not risk it.
I can tolerate many things, but Y/N has breached many of these limits, all while sleeping, which I honestly didn’t know was possible.
Yoongi did say that she seems to be the kind to lock her emotions away when she doesn’t know how to handle them, that’s something that makes me incredibly nervous since I know how it is, what it does to the mind.
On one hand, I won’t shy away from being blunt if that’s what she needs, and if she tries to counter my points without trying to understand, she won’t find me funny, not today.
But on the other hand, if I do things right, there might very well be a chance that she opens up to tell us the exact same things she hadn’t wanted to say to Hoseok earlier, it’s all about pushing her in the right direction while being careful so that it doesn’t turn back on us.
I won’t insist, if she really doesn’t want to open up, I will stop, but if the door is the slightest bit opened, I will fit as many inches through the gap as I can until we get to the bottom of this matter.
We’ll just have to wait and see how it goes.
Your POV
When Hoseok and I had finally made it back to the pack’s house, a taxi called to bring us back faster because my body had lost all of its strength, I’d gone straight to my room, the guilt of what I’d done growing with every passing minutes, I couldn’t believe how I had behaved with Hoseok.
I could only see the pain on his face when I’d pushed him away, his confused orbs and parted lips playing on a loop in my mind. I had put that look on his face.
Why? Because I felt bad about being poor? Because I don’t have an impressive job like them, or own a shop, a restaurant? Because he has a black card while I barely have anything left in my bank account?
When I ended up all by myself, it all suddenly seemed so superficial in my mind.
Hoseok just wanted to be nice to me, he wanted to give me a fun day, he wanted to show me that you can enjoy yourself without having to worry about every single thing, that the changes occurring to me didn’t have to keep me from the things I like doing, and so, the walk previous to the store was sweet and filled with his voice, it felt good.
But then I’d taken a look at the soft looking nest that was made for me, and that guilt that was increasing in my soul had flared up, my heart screaming that I did not deserve such kindness when I had treated the beta in such a bad manner.
I didn’t deserve the nest, but I still needed something relatively close to one and the closet was the only thing that could provide me that, no matter how uncomfortable it had looked, the pillow cover I had found on the floor completely useless as it covered my shoulders, but it was better than nothing.
That was what I deserved.
That’s what I remember as my consciousness comes back to me, yet right now, what surrounds me is not cold and hard, limbs painful because of the harsh conditions I had forced upon myself.
It takes me a moment to process the scents surrounding me, all so familiar, the comfortable mattress under me, the softness of blankets around my body, and a heavy weight over my waist.
This is not the closet.
Unsure of where I am then, because my bedroom does not smell like that, I open my eyes to find myself face to face with Hoseok, his worried eyes already locked on mine, lips pursed tightly and his scent sour oranges, a whole bag of them, they’ve been dipping in the rain for days on end and now they’re decomposing on the ground, a stack of burned papers not far from here, wet and in pieces.
The upsetting scents along with mine stick to most surfaces surrounding us, yet the room’s scents are naturally so strong that they cover nearly every traces of distress, a mess of different perfumes all emptied at the same time to make sure they remain vivid and plentiful.
I shouldn’t love the disharmony they create, almost none of them made to fit together in such high density, yet I do, they manage to keep me from falling deeper into a dark hole, like a safety net keeping my emotions from spilling into the ocean, it’s warm, inviting and loving, because each of them represent the seven wolves, those gentle men who have rooted themselves into my life with soothing smiles.
I want to enjoy this perfect environment, I feel like I could just roll around and absorb everything that this room has to offer, yet at seeing Hoseok’s sad face in front of me, that contentment immediately fades away, my body frozen in place as I stare back at him, mind lost between wanting to leave because I’m obviously making him sad while also needing to comfort him, for the exact same reason.
I blink quickly, lips curling downwards as my heart fills with nerves, knots forming all around it because I have no idea what is the right thing to do right now, am I even deserving of being here? This room must be the pack nest, why am I here?
“Are you awake now, omega?” a voice speaks up, and it’s not Hoseok, his lips immobile, it makes me grow aware of the weight of two arms over my waist, as well as the warmth behind me, how could I not notice? Someone’s hugging me from behind, that sounded like Jimin.
I nod slowly, the two wolves’ scents not brightening up, they remain in their most upsetting state and it’s making me become fidgety, senses on high alert as I try to understand why they’re in that mood in the first place, is it because of what happened outside? Because I went on a tantrum?
“Do you remember what happened today?” Jimin asks next, I can’t see him, I can only feel him and hear him and the way his voice echoes all around me, dry and cold, it gives life to chills that spread throughout all of my soul, not the good kind, it makes me scared, that he might be mad at me.
I nod my head again, eyes moving away from Hoseok’s before I curl in on myself as much as possible, a hand going to grab the blanket over me to partially cover my head because this isn’t nice.
Everything about them makes me overly conscious that I’m about to get reprimanded, and I sure earned it, Hoseok didn’t do anything to deserve me treating him the way I did, it’s only natural that they scold me.
“Words, omega, do you remember what happened today?” Jimin repeats, stricter and I hold back a whimper, fingers shaking as I part my lips to get a sound out, anything, but I’m just so nervous that my throat has locked up on me and I start becoming increasingly anxious, because Jimin asked something of me and I can’t respond, will it make him more angry? I don’t want that.
“Jimin… she’s terrified” Hoseok murmurs, oranges dimming to become comforting almonds, soft and sweet, but he makes no move to physically reassure me, it seems Jimin holds control over this situation right now and he hasn’t deemed me worthy of their comfort yet.
The alpha breathes in deeply behind me, forces his burned papers to give place to cinnamon, spicy and strong, like too much was poured over the almonds, the rain making everything soapy, but it still gets rid of the edge his scent was pushing over me.
“Take your time, omega. I want you to explain to me in details, what happened from the moment you left the house with Hoseok earlier, to waking up now, but know that you are safe, pack nest is safe, alpha and beta are safe” Jimin tries again, his vocabulary turning overly simple in the end, but a part of my soul jumps at those words, safechanted in my mind by a voice that does not come from me, alpha and beta safe, no danger.
It’s… oddly comforting.
I breathe in the scents surrounding me, try to find strength in them to open my mouth again, Jimin’s assurance that I can take my time letting me know that he’s not… filled with anger, or not that much anyway.
I still can’t really determine an exact emotion by just hearing him and I have a feeling that seeing his face would only deepen that confusion for me, so I decide to keep my gaze locked on Hoseok’s t-shirt, the little logo of a sun on his chest pocket the only thing I can dare look at right now.
From the moment we left the house, he said, right?
I think back to when we’d walked out the front door, Hoseok and I, after he’d massaged the sunscreen into my skin… we were both in a good mood, I felt good then, so it’s with that in mind that I start talking.
Here goes nothing…
“When we left the house… it was fun, Hoseok made me pay attention to the nice scents, told me to focus on them if I ever become overwhelmed and none of you guys are around, the trees, the flowers… the sound of birds, the breeze in the leaves… I could see everything so clearly even from a distance and it was amazing, that part of the walk, I really enjoyed it”.
I start slowly, words murmured into the blanket because it feels like an additional protection to my heart, my voice isn’t loud but they hear me well and Hoseok’s arm around me squeezes slightly, he’s relieved to hear that at least not everything was a complete failure.
Jimin though, he remains silent, still as a rock but body burning like an oven, I know he’s listening intently as I try to do what he asked of me as best as I can, because I want the alpha to be happy with me.
“Then… we made it to that rich shopping district and… I started freaking out a little because I was used to that run-down one on the other side of the city, so to see those expensive shops… I could tell that the cheapest phone they had was way over my budget and I started feeling like running off.
I mean I tried, but Hoseok stopped me before I could, he soothed me and reassured me, although I have to say that his method… well it sent my heart on a bungee jump, I won’t lie, he was pretty hot, it had my heart nearly bursting out of my chest” I blurt out and Hoseok blushes at that while Jimin hides a grin.
I shrug lightly before continuing, lips into an embarrassed pout. “And you know… him calling me a good pup… it strangely made me want to please him, it helped”.
I get a little shy over the admission but Jimin asked for details and that’s what I intend to give, and sure enough, it makes the beta perk up, his almonds getting a boost of baked, crunchy warmth while the alpha’s cinnamon turns softer.
“And then…” I bite on my bottom lip, eyes downcast because that’s where things started going downhill for me, didn’t they?
Hoseok must realize too because he bites on his lips, eyes falling to his free hand between us, fingers clenching while Jimin keeps observing us in silence, his cinnamon pushing out a boosting wave to reassure us that everything is okay, his pheromones calming us, it keeps us from falling too far into regrets, for now.
“Finding the phone for me went pretty fast, what I preferred though was helping Hoseok choose the other devices for you guys, I liked that part since it wasn’t for me, but then it was time to pay and… I mean I knew it would be expensive, but what really shocked me…” I sigh, now feeling bad, because looking back to that moment now that it’s over, it really feels like my reaction was too much.
“Go on, my love, you’re doing so good for us, our good omega. Everything is fine, no one is mad here” Jimin hums softly before nosing at the curve of my neck and I simply cannot resist the melt my body does at the act, the sound of his voice gone from that scary edge that was making me nervous.
It’s now silky velvet against my ear, his cinnamon turning aromatic, it makes me think of pancakes on the terrace while it rains outside, Hoseok’s almonds helping to make the air that much comforting, maybe an almond bread in the oven? And then a bottle of honey on the side to go along with both, sweet nectar in endless quantities.
Eager to keep that feeling of praise because it feels so much better than the previous emotions that were swarming me, I lean back against Jimin to get more of his warmth now that I know he’s not mad at me and he kisses my exposed shoulder before wrapping both arms under the blanket and around my waist, one sliding under me to rest against my belly until I end up flat against his chest, it feels nice, the musky tone behind his natural scent enough to make me feel safer than ever.
I look up to meet Hoseok’s eyes, his orbs soft as he gazes at me, encouraging and when he scoots closer to grab my hands in his, I pull them closer to my face to hide behind his large palms, lips pressing onto his wrists to calm my nervous heart because of what I’m going to say next, the part that is more personal.
It has both wolves starting to purr, instincts pleased because it shows them that I’m starting to relax even though I’m currently spilling the truth without restraint, it’s just as Jimin had wished I would, and it amazes Hoseok, reminds him once more of how convincing the alpha can be without being obvious, he didn’t even use his alpha voice on me.
I clear my throat lightly, uncomfortable, but the seven different scents further soothe my soul and I decide to just go and rip the bandage off, Hoseok wasn’t wrong when he’d said that opening up to them would be better for me, that they were there for me, they deserve that much after all they’ve done for me already.
“When I saw the black card, it served to remind me that we’re not from the same world” I admit finally, and Hoseok frowns, mouth opening to say something but Jimin stops him with one look before closing his eyes, ears entirely focused on my voice.
“You two didn’t see my apartment but… it was pitiful, to be honest. Being sent there by my parents made me realize just how bad our relationship was to begin with, it’s not like they couldn’t afford better after all, I did grow up in an expensive house but… their money was never directed at me, never meant to be spent on me.
So I got used on living while spending as little as possible. Frozen food and ramyeon were what my usual meals consisted of and I didn’t allow myself any sort of luxury even while going to that prestigious University. Everyone around me would flaunt their wealth in everyone’s faces like they were the ones who earned it while I was there just trying to make it through the week with one good night sleep.
That was my life for so long that it became easy to forget that my adoptive parents were rich too, it just wasn’t part of my immediate environment anymore, that changes the way you view money in the first place, so to me, a black card? Goodness, that was the loudest way to tell me that you guys are successful, impressive and doing something grand while I struggled to get a job as soon as I graduated.
All I could think about was my diploma, to make use of it and do something I hate because then, I wouldn’t be so pitiful next to your pack, but… I didn’t want that, and that made me upset, and I didn’t want to be upset because I wanted to be happy for Hoseok, you guys like it when I smile, I wanted to be able to give him that, so I tried to bury my emotions and left outside to calm down.
I tried to do what he’d showed me, to focus on the good, and it helped, but I still felt so fragile and… when Hoseok asked me what was wrong, when he told me to share my concerns with him, I closed up instantly because I didn’t know what I wanted myself, whether to do something I hate to feel like I belong, or to keep feeling like an outsider to avoid doing what I hate.
It kept spiraling down from there, everything started annoying me, my hair, my skin, everything, and then I ran. I didn’t want to be like that, I didn’t understand but I just… I felt sick and everything became too much and I felt angry and lost and I just wanted someone to get mad at me to help me, and when Hoseok scruffed me… it felt liberating, like that pressure weighing on me just disappeared, and then I grew ashamed and…
When we made it back home… I could only think about the way I’d hurt him with my outburst, the way I’d ruined our day out, that guilt would keep growing and when I saw the nest in my room… it felt… too loving, I didn’t deserve to make use of something that was made with such good intentions when I had caused pain unnecessarily, so I went to the closet instead”.
Saying it aloud like that… it makes me realize just how ridiculous it all was, that all of this happened for such a stupid reason, but before I can even start regretting telling them so much, there was a reason why I didn’t want to in the first place, Hoseok hugs me tightly against Jimin, his face burying in my neck while the alpha kisses my head, his chest rumbling in approval and pride.
“Thank you for telling us everything, my sweet ‘mega, alpha is so proud of you” he hums against my hair and it’s like his voice holds magic because those simple words make my embarrassment turn into relief, it makes me feel sheepish, it’s getting ridiculous how easy to please I am.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to make you go through all those emotions when I took you out today, that really wasn’t my goal, far from it, but I messed up so bad” Hoseok eventually murmurs from my neck and I pause, that was the last thing I’d expected to hear, why is he even apologizing?
“Hoseok, no, you didn’t mess up anything, I-I did, it was just me and my stupid problems getting in the way, you didn’t do anything bad” I try to reassure him but he shakes his head before pulling back to gaze at me, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
“No, it was all my fault. The others got mad at me earlier, scolded me because I didn’t bring nesting materials in case your emotions would overwhelm you and that caused you to lose control, I wasn’t equipped to help you properly” he insists, his sad face enough to have my heart splitting in half.
What does not nesting have to do with me losing control? It can’t be that bad, can it? I got that way because I let my thoughts and worries get the best of me.
Jimin hums and shifts a little to be more comfortable, a hand going to free up my face from my hair so he can see me better as he props his upper body on one elbow and I finally get to see him for the first time since earlier, his gentle eyes gazing over me as his hair falls slightly over them.
“As much as I hate to admit it, Y/N, Hoseok hyung is right. Not many of us would’ve thought to bring anything, but it definitely would’ve helped you, just a scented piece of clothe and we might have avoided that burst of anger. You see, your wolf is new to everything, all it knows for now is you and your emotions, it’s so closely connected to you that it will feel all of them just as you do.
The problem, is that it doesn’t understand where those problems come from, or the source at all, so when it gets to experience them the same way you do, it doesn’t know how to process, and when you start feeling like you’re getting overwhelmed by every little details, it’s your wolf starting to panic.
So while the emotions might have been yours, the way they increased until they got out of hand, the way they got taken out of proportions, when you needed Hoseok to scruff you, you wolf also needed it, because it didn’t know how to calm down. You two have a lot to adjust to, and as an omega, nesting is already a natural need, so in your condition, it will raise to the surface more often.
Jin usually has an emergency nesting blanket when he leaves the house for the day, when he knows that where he’s going, he won’t have a nest nearby, he tries to encourage every omegas he meets at the clinic to do the same, so it’s not just you, let me assure you, it’s every omegas, it’s just that in your case, it’s even more important because it would assure safety to your wolf, it would give it time to process new information without getting scared
In that sense, let me assure you once more, what happened today, it wasn’t on you. The way you got mad, the way you felt, it’s not you being overly sensitive, it’s only your wolf needing a time out. From now on, whenever you feel like the emotions washing over you are stronger than they should, whenever you feel uncomfortable, easily stressed and jumpy, either come to one of us, or go to a nest, okay? It can be yours, it can be the pack nest, any is fine, as long as you allow your wolf what it needs”.
So… it’s just my wolf being a baby in an adult body, with adult problems but only able to process them with a baby mind? Because when I think about it, if it had to focus all its life on fighting the poison, in a state of semi-consciousness, it never really grew up, did it? It just survived.
It helps me understand better, the way I keep getting overwhelmed, that night at the hospital, it wasn’t just me, it was my wolf too discovering a world it knows nothing about, that’s why it brought me to that small, dark little space in the playground, it lowered the interactions to that world to a maximum.
“Then… when I slept in the closet earlier, because I felt like I didn’t deserve it…” I start, watch as Jimin’s eyes soften further, body relaxing before he nods.
“That was like telling your wolf that it not understanding your emotions was bad, and it does not need to feel that way, not at all. It’s doing its best to learn, it’s just hard to do in such a short amount of time. You see, my love, wolves are very sensitive creatures, they are driven by their instincts and in turn, since we’re so closely connected, we end up being driven by them, which is why finding a balance is so important.
If you always deny your wolf what it needs, be it scenting, nesting, playing around, shifting - we’ll go over that soon - all of those things are necessary for its well-being. What you need to understand about our kind, is that we are two entities in one body. Taking care of yourself is taking care of your wolf, and taking care of your wolf is taking care of yourself, it depends fully on you after all, you are the main control of your body.
That is why I’m going to ask you to please never do what you did ever again. If you feel like you need to nest, then you nest, no matter what happened before, it’s especially more important if you feel like you don’t deserve it. Don’t feed your guilt, don’t give it reasons to exist, don’t give it power over your worth, that would make us so very sad. If you feel like you really can’t nest, then come to us, we’ll help you, take care of you, okay? Can you promise that for me?”.
Hoseok’s arms hold me tighter, body tensed as he waits for my answer and so does Jimin’s, it makes me conscious of how important this is, that more than a promise for them, it’s also a promise to myself, a promise from me to me, to give me the love I deserve, even when I feel like I don’t deserve it.
Can I really do that? All my life, I’ve had to deny myself the things I desired, the things I wanted, I had to live with the disappointment of having them taken from me, a lonely soul against the world, but…
Things have changed now, haven’t they?
I kept thinking that I don’t have an impressive job like them, but Jungkook and Yoongi, they both recruited me because they liked me, because they believed in me, they need my help, isn’t that much more important than any prestige?
I kept focusing on money, because money is an item used in a mean to survive, I never used it for my personal enjoyment, but I don’t have to just… survive anymore, because I have seven men who want to provide for me, seven wolves who want to help me and take care of me.
I was alone, but now I have seven true mates, wolves who smell of honey, honey that constantly drips over my heart like a warm embrace, it’s starting to layer, coat over coat until it forms a barrier against the pain that used to swarm me in the past.
Feelings of not being wanted, of being abandoned by my own family, of disappointing them when all I wanted was their approval, for them to accept me as I am, these men are giving me exactly what I needed, so… why am I still so scared?
Why is the idea of allowing myself what I need so hard to accept? Maybe it’s just the changes occurring being too abrupt, too drastic, but does that mean I should hurt myself in the process of getting used to my new circumstances just because I can?
Said like that, it sure sounds stupid. I did not choose for my life to go the way it did, and if now I’m allowed to be comfortable, why reject it so adamantly?
I might not be able to change my mindset in a single day, but seeing as they all must own that darned black card, I should at least start with that part of my new reality, these men are filthy rich and there’s no getting rid of that.
It’s just that they don’t flaunt it like everyone else, they don’t take pride in havingthe money, they take pride in usingit for their loved ones.
I turn my gaze back to Jimin, his own patiently trained on me, I wonder how much he could guess from my thoughts, how much he could see in my orbs, because he looks proud, like he knows exactly what conclusion I’m ending at.
They all want me and nothing will take that from them, not even me.
I smile at him, tilt my head into his touch when he brings a warm hand to my cheek, Hoseok’s breath against my skin, the absent wolves’ scents around us, hugging us with their memories, ghosts of smiles all adding to each other and warming my soul and…
“I promise I’ll do my best to learn… how to be good to myself, I’ll try that”.
Breaching the quiet and reaching out to the authors of some of my favourite stories. The talent you all have? Insane. This community? Elite. If you ever feel like the silence is too loud in here, know that I’m screaming louder. You’re doing awesome job, writers, I applaud your work :)
An abbreviated moodboard of the emotions I felt while reading through these
No summary but this is the best smut by far. Am I biased? yes. Still I have enough logic left in my skull to realize a masterclass sensuality when I see one
Yoongi’s intentions really weren’t to drive you away. His curiosity merely got the best of him. But now…he’s woven an intricate mess he can’t get out of. And he can’t help but wonder, will this be the thing that finally pushes you over the edge?
How to survive a soulmate encounter: first, get into separate rooms. Second, call 911 if there are no soulmate assistant present. Should be fairly easy, right?
You’ve been plagued by dreams of your boss ever since you started working for him to the point where you’re unable to “play” with anybody else. Frustration and possible lack of sleep has you feeling lethargic, to a point where you find yourself falling asleep at work, but little do you know that someone is behind it all.
It’s your last Halloween Carnival as a senior in college and as is tradition, you and your friends get drunk and dressed up just to go to the Fun-House Maze. But all week you’ve been receiving unsettling phone calls from an unknown number, commenting on your outfit, your bitchy friends, and your cliche quarterback boyfriend. Determined not to be scared into another night in, you go out with your friends anyway. But when you somehow get separated from the group, that feeling of unease morphs into fear; especially when you discover you’ve walked right into his trap.
In hopes of achieving a high mark in your final exam you’re willing to give up anything, including your soul. However when your drunken joke of a ritual suddenly comes true, how do you even begin to explain your logic to the seven demon lords seated in front of you
When an estranged uncle leaves you his massive fortune you wonder if the universe is playing a joke on you. when that fortune comes with seven hybrids, you know for sure that it is.
After one fateful night, you find yourself transmigrated into your favorite novel as the Empress that shares the same name as you. As a bookworm, most would think you’d be happy, but how could you be happy when the Empress you’ve become is expected to be killed in three months. The only thing on your mind now is to learn how to survive.
No one ever told you that you had a soulmate or—soulmates for that matter. humans don’t have soulmates but shapeshifters do. what are you supposed to do when the seven members of the worlds biggest boy band turn out to be your soulmates—only for you to realise that they aren’t even human.
Twenty-year old L/N Y/N realizes she might be, okay, is a little bit of a social pariah. But there’s not much she can really do about it. Until a dreary winter day, when a determined, persistent dog hybrid named Taehyung shows up and declares that he’s interested in adopting her for himself and the rest of his lonely pack.
