(으)시 vs Deferential [Korean Honorifics]

anon asked: what’s the difference between 먹다 and 드시겠습니다. You say they both mean eat but i am confused? Help!

@femaletype asked: next do (으)시 vs -세요 vs -ㅂ/습니다 Bc honorific vs deferential is the bane of my existence

First, I will give a list of honorific verbs and nouns, then explain the honorific ending! It’s important to note an “elevation” of formality; who is being elevated! In this case, there are three types:

1. verbs that elevate* the subject
2. verbs that elevate the object
3. verbs that elevate the recipient of the action (usually used with the honorific particle 께)

*elevate = who are talking about in an honorific way?

높임말 동사; Honorific Verbs

• (2) 만나다 / 보다; 뵙다 [to see, to meet]
• (1) 먹다; 드시다 / 식사하다 / 잡수시다 [to eat]
• (1) 마시다; 드시다 [to drink]
• (3) 주다;드리다 [to give]
• (1) 있다; 계시다 [to stay]
• (1) 죽다; 들어가시다 [to die]
• (1) 아프다; 편찮으시다 [to be hurt/in pain]
• (1) 말하다; 말씁하시다 [to speak]
• (1) 자다; 주무시다 [to sleep]
• (3) 묻다; 여쭈다 [to ask]
• (1) 배고프다; 시장하시다 [to be hungry]
• (2) 데리다; 모시다 [to accompany]^

^ the plain form 데리다 is more commonly used as a compound verb with 오다 or 가다, but that can be it’s own separate post if people are interested.

높임말 명사; Honorific Nouns

• 이름; 성함 [name]
• 나이; 연세 [age]
• 집; 댁 [house]
• 생일; 생신 [birthday]
• 밥; 진지 / 식사 [food, meal]
• 병; 병환 [disease, illness]
• 술; 약주 [alcohol]
• 아이; 자제분 [child]
• 이; 치아 [tooth]
• 말; 말씀 [word]

It’s important to note, that outside of these specific verbs, you can realistically elevate any verb in Korean using (으)시. 

-(으)시 vs. (스)ㅂ니다; Deferential Honorific

At this point, you should be familiar with plain style conjugation patterns (-어/아요). The deferential style is the infamous -(스)ㅂ니다 that gives the statements their formal ending. Of course, as we know, -(스)ㅂ니다 is more formal than -어/아요. If at any point, you are unsure as to which formality to use, always use the deferential style. 

Honorifics can attach to both the deferential and polite styles, but are used in different contexts illustrated below:

• [polite]집에 가요 - I’m going home
• [deferential]집에 갑니다 - I go home
• [polite + (으)시] 집에 가세요 - Go home, (hon. subject)
• [deferential + (으)시] 집에 가십니다 - (hon. subject) goes home

Remember, you cannot, ever, at any point, ever, use (으)시 for yourself.

-(으)세요

When (으)시 is attached to the polite style conjugation, there are two usages; (1) to show respect, (2) to create an imperative. 

The use of -(으)시 elevates the subject, object, or any recipient of the action who is older, in a higher position, or placed above you in respect. Of course, you will hear some Koreans complain about this politeness hierarchy, however, that is not an excuse to speak in an intimate way to a doctor, professor, or an elder–this is not about being close, this is about being respectful. 

The biggest difference between the deferential -(스)ㅂ니다 and the honorific  -(으)시 is that one acknowledges the elevation of the subject/object/recipient of action [-(으)시] while the other acknowledges the formality of the environment around them [-(스)ㅂ니다].

When talking to someone closer to your age (seemingly), you are able to use [polite + (으)시] to express politeness without being overtly formal. This is why, in restaurants, you will use phrases like:

• 순두부찌개 하나 좀* 주세요 - please give me tofu stew
• 물 좀 주세요 - please give me water
• 아아 한잔 좀 주세요 - please give me an iced americano

*좀 softens the request

Where the server will use an honorific term:

• [드시다] 뭐 드시겠습니까? - what will you eat/drink?
• [드리다] 영수증을 드릴까요? - do you want me to give you a receipt?

Note that the -까 creates an interrogative phrase.

All that said…

You can add (으)시 to any verb in order to create it’s honorific counterpart. This goes for literally any verb. If you are truly lost and cannot remember how to use the honorific form of 먹다 then you can use some form of 먹으시다. Examples:

• [to answer/reply] 대답하다 + (으)시 = 대답하시다
• [to sing] 노래부르다 + (으)시 = 노래부르시다
• [to listen] 듣다 + (으)시 = 들으시다

Hope this helps! Honorifics are honestly difficult. So difficult, that even switching formality without honorifics is still considered rude (from intimate to plain to deferential). You’ll hear people say it’s okay to not use the proper formality because you’re a foreigner, but I think that’s a lazy solution to learning. If you want to learn properly, do it properly. 

Example Sentences:

1. 무슨 책을 읽으세요? - what book are you reading?
2. 한국 분이세요? - are you Korean?
3. 한국어를 가르칠 사람은 김 선생님이세요 - Mx. Kim will teach Korean
4. 엄마가 전화하셨어요 - My mom called
5. 부모님께서 은행에 가셨어요 - My parents went to the bank

That being said, it’s okay to mess up formalities so long as you catch the mistake and correct yourself. The listener (older Korean or friend) will greatly appreciate the self-assessment. 

If there’s still some confusion, let me know!! Happy Learning :)

~ SK101

p.s. for more conjugations, you can go here!!