1) beautifully constructed, thoughtfully named, you’ve had this character for five years, and it is only now that you have a medium to express them through. twenty pages of backstory and lore, you probably lovingly crafted a costume or a token to fully bring them to life.
2) it’s you, but you’re now a warlock or a paladin or some shit.
3) Its Joke (ex. Boo Boo the Chaotic Good Barbarian, Dio Brando but as a dryad, etc.)
4) Real Ass People (ex. Hatsune Miku, Barack Obama, Hulk Hogan, etc.)
A highly valid viewpoint: In this digital age, it’s so easy for the boundaries between fans and creators to erode… while this can be a good and fun thing, it’s also important that creators don’t feel obligated to put their whole lives on public display. They have a right to their priva—
Justin McElroy: HEY everyone just a reminder that my VASECTOMY is THIS THURSDAY
I had a dream last night I had a daughter and I brought her to a MBMBAM live show and got to bring her up to the boys and ask “how would you rate this baby?” And Griffin yelled into his mic “you want me to RATE your BABY? Your INFANT? Your actual HUMAN CHILD?”
I can only imagine from there on Travis immediately says 7 and Justin holds up a hand says “hold on I’m gonna need some parameters before making a decision”
Hold on this is perfectly in-character
You tapped into an alternate reality through your dreams in which this really happened and no one can convince me otherwise
“You wouldn’t know”: If you ask to roll, say, history, and your DM responds with this, it usually means, “This is a vital plot point that you aren’t supposed to find out until later, so I won’t tell you regardless of what you roll”
“I mean, you could”: The DM is strongly suggesting you don’t do the thing you were just about to do. But it is your choice… if you reeeeeally want to.
“Oh, fuck”/“Oh, shit”/et cetera: “I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO MAKE THAT DECISION AND I DID NOT PREPARE AN OUTCOME”
“Oh, fuck”/“Oh, shit”/et cetera: “I JUST REALIZED I DID NOT BALANCE THIS COMBAT CORRECTLY”
“Hang on…”: “Where the FUCK did I put this in my notes?”
“Oh boy”/“Oh god”/“Oh no”/et cetera: I either just rolled REALLY well or REALLY badly. You’ll find out soon enough.
“Itseems like…”/“As far as you can tell…”: What I’m about to say your character notices, is nowhere CLOSE to what’s actually going on.
“Make a [skill] check”/“Make a [skill] saving throw”: I’m having you make this roll, but I’m not going to tell you what it means until later, when you’re going to regret it.
A hard, firm, “No”: “Please for the love of GOD and ALL that is holy I am BEGGING you not to put me through whatever BULLSHIT you’re planning.”
pandemic episode of malcolm in the middle: malcolm struggles to reconcile his commitment to quarantine safety measures with the fact that all the girls his age are so lonely and isolated that they’re suddenly willing to go on dates with HIM, of all people. reese discovers that egging neighbors’ houses still counts as a “socially-distanced” activity and has the time of his life. dewey does some mental calculus and realizes that he gets fewer wedgies per day from his brothers than he does from the school bully and decides he’ll keep these lockdowns in effect at all costs, so he starts calling in fake pandemic data to local health districts to bump the numbers up. lois gets in a physical altercation with a non-masker at the lucky aide and starts duct taping people’s mouths shut, which craig finds both alarming and oddly alluring. (craig then immediately gets infected from licking his hand to slick back his hair in a bid to impress her.) hal works from home but, after slacking off on the family computer all day, is driven to obsession by the thought of becoming the digital solitaire world champion.
Hal makes it to the finals of an online tournament and is moments away from winning the $100,000 prize but at the last second one of Reese’s wayward eggs causes a neighborhood wide power outage. The episode ends with Hal wailing with anguish in the pitch black house.
thirty thousand notes and this is the only good addition anyone has made. you understand malcolm in the middle.
