#legolas

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lateandreckless:corndog-patrol:the three hunters but it’s actually just a chaotic roadtrip @gallusrolateandreckless:corndog-patrol:the three hunters but it’s actually just a chaotic roadtrip @gallusrolateandreckless:corndog-patrol:the three hunters but it’s actually just a chaotic roadtrip @gallusro

lateandreckless:

corndog-patrol:

the three hunters but it’s actually just a chaotic roadtrip

@gallusrostromegalus


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One thought that keeps me up at night is what if the Eldar have different leaf-shaped ears and based on different trees…It’s not just cute, small and pointed, sometimes they have three points like a maple leaf, are straight, long, and thin like a willow, round but pointed like a mulberry tree’s, or whatever… Not every elf has to have ash-leaf shaped ears!

Just imagine, Legolas has oak-leaf ears.

flukeoffateart:

@cybermanolo this is what you meant, right? XD

I’m not sure why it is that 90% of jokes are either a) incomprehensible or b) painfully unfunny to me, but Legolas soberly eulogizing Boromir as “Boromir the Fair” is hilariousto me.

Legolas is an Elf who is startlingly “fair” to pretty much everyone, including Boromir’s own people, but when they’re laying Boromir to rest, Legolas’s contribution to the sad musical number is “he was so pretty, too :( rip”

Bonus: later, he meets Boromir’s uncle, and his takeaway is this: “That is a fair lord and a great captain of men.” Okay, Legolas.

(Yes, Imrahil is known as “Imrahil the Fair,” the grandson who resembles him is “Elfwinë the Fair,” Boromir is repeatedly described as fair, Faramir closely resembles him and also has a “fair face,” so this isn’t just Legolas’s perception of them. But he certainly has his priorities in order!)

bewitchedmuse:

you don’t understand how thankful i am for this meme

On the way to my date with Legolas, I managed to take a turn too sharply and ran up on the cub. At first I was rattled, but thought everything was fine. Then my whole car started shaking. I completely shredded that tire. Women drivers, am I right?

I eventually pulled down a side street and called Legolas. He was very understanding and agreed to come help. It was especially nice of him because I was running late, and the punishment he gives me for that is one cane strike for every minute I arrive after I said I’d be there.  Good thing I’m a pretty girl, since while I was waiting for Legolas, a woman offered to help, a man just plain started helping, and then a second man offered to help. Legolas arrived and he, the man who was already helping, and I changed the tire. Of course, I mostly stood there and looked pretty. 
Once the tire was changed, Legolas and I went to this amazing vegan place and got huge meals, plus vegan cheesecake to take home. Then we headed back to his place. We talked for a little while and he started using my mouth. He had laid back and relaxed while I licked, sucked, and stroked. I do enjoy getting used this way. Not that what I like matters. Then he had me on my back on the bed, kneeled over me, and fucked my face that way. And, of course, he pulled me over so my head was over the bed and he pushed his cock into my throat. That position is always scary, but it makes me able to take it deep. I did better than the first time, but I need to work on worrying about breathing. That’s not anywhere as important as making sure the man whose cock is in me is able to use me the way he wants.
When he was done using my mouth for the time, he pulled me over and we cuddled and talked. I told him about a new fantasy I’ve been having about getting fucked and having someone cum in me even though I’m not on hormonal birth control. He definitely liked the sound of that. At some point, I mentioned that I wanted to be able to take being whipped. He asked why, which made me think. I’m not sure which way it divides up, but it’s partially a personal challenge to myself, especially because I don’t like stingy pain, and partially because I want to be able to take it for MLAM, and any other man who enjoys watching me suffer. 
Legolas said that we could try it out, since the stripper pole is in a good space for it right now. I hesitated and then agreed. He checked in, asking if I was excited to do this, and my response wasn’t very enthusiastic. I stopped and told him that I did want to do it. I explained that I wasn’t sure how much I could take and might red out quickly. He (of course) got that, and we went to the other room.
He told me how to stand, and I asked if I should face the other direction. He said no, that we were going to do my front, which is much scarier. I put my hands over my head and grabbed the pole tight. He cracked the whip in the air a few times, which just made me more frightened. I shut my eyes, and he started hitting me, but not very hard. I was jumpy at first, but I eventually I got into it. He asked how I was doing and inquired about hitting harder. I told him to go for it, and he started hitting me a little harder and a little faster. He was striking my tits, my stomach, my thighs, right above my cunt, and occassionaly, my cunt. I started breathing faster, getting scared. He stopped for a minute and told me to slow down my breathing. I listened and he started up again.
Eventually he told me that if he was going to be putting in this effort, the least I could do was watch. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. He was smiling, clearly enjoying the way I was reacting. The whipping started up again, and I winced and squeaked and yelped in reaction to the pain and the fear. He took a break and came over to me and said that since I’d been taking it so well, he would do “this” and then he kicked my thigh. Hard. He kicked me several more times, including the back of my legs. This man bikes everywhere all the time forever and has strong legs. It hurt deep and good and made me cry out. 
He asked if I wanted to try getting whipped harder, and I nodded yes, although I was afraid. He asked if he should pick one place and hit me harder and I said yes, that he should pick. Then I added “Not my cunt.” Silly bitch. He hit me hard right above my pussy a couple times, then worked on my legs, stomach, and tits. By the end, I was whimpering and shaking and grabbing the pole like a liferaft. When he finished, he came over to me and gave me a big hug and told me I did a good job. 
Then he led me to his room, and I laid on my side, shaking and whimpering still. He’d really enjoyed hurting me and seeing me afraid like that. I know this because he grabbed a condom, spread my legs and started fucking me, hand around my throat at times. It was hot as fuck. I love a man who gets really turned on by hurting me and watching me suffer.
When he was done, we had our vegan cheesecake and started a documentary. We didn’t finish because I was so very very sleepy, so we headed to bed. The morning was even better.

You know you’ve made all the right choices when, instead of giving you a quick goodbye kiss before leaving to get granola to make you both delicious oatmeal for breakfast , the man who whipped you last night puts his hand around your throat and rubs your cunt .

legolas
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