You’ll never know it all and you’ll never be perfect. But following the lead of your LGBTQ+ friends to CHALLENGE DISCRIMINATION is a vital way to show your love for all people. Most queer people will agree there are “allies” and then there are FABULOUS ALLIES! How can you live the love you proclaim? Here are 10 suggestions from Beloved Arise volunteer, Stephen Cowden, one of our favorite fabulous allies!!
10 Ways to be a Fabulous Ally to LGBTQ+ People
01: LISTEN, LISTEN, and LISTEN.
If you are cishet, don’t assume you know what it’s like to be queer. Make a habit of listening to LGBTQ+ voices.
02: AMPLIFY LGBTQ+ VOICES.
When you speak for them, you risk speaking over them. Instead, you should elevate their perspectives.
03: REJOICE WITH THEM.
Show the queer people around you that they are valued and recognize their faithfulness.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice…weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15
04: MOURN WITH LGBTQ+ FOLX.
Seek to understand the challenges they face. Validate the pain they feel.
05: PARTNER, DON’T PATRONIZE.
To you, LGBTQ+ inclusion may be an abstract cause. But it is very personal to lots of folx. Treat people like people rather than a cause.
06: DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK.
Don’t expect queer folx to educate you. Allyship is not passive; you need to be proactive in your own learning and growth.
07: NORMALIZE QUEERNESS.
Put your pronouns in your social media profiles and email signatures. Use gender-neutral language. Don’t assume cisgender and heterosexual is the norm.
08: DISARM THE HATERS.
Arguing just gives them a platform, and let’s face it, many haters aren’t really open to changing their minds. Try this: respectfully acknowledge where you agree and disagree, and then move on…
09: ERR ON THE SIDE OF HUMILITY.
You will make mistakes. You will misspeak and misstep, so always be humble and willing to do better.
10: LOVE OTHERS!
“Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it… Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.” Romans 12:9-10 The Message
You’ll never know it all and you’ll never be perfect. But following the lead of your LGBTQ+ friends to CHALLENGE DISCRIMINATION is a vital way to show your love for all people. Most queer people will agree there are “allies” and then there are FABULOUS ALLIES! How can you live the love you proclaim? Here are 10 suggestions from Beloved Arise volunteer, Stephen Cowden, one of our favorite fabulous allies!!
10 Ways to be a Fabulous Ally to LGBTQ+ People
01: LISTEN, LISTEN, and LISTEN.
If you are cishet, don’t assume you know what it’s like to be queer. Make a habit of listening to LGBTQ+ voices.
02: AMPLIFY LGBTQ+ VOICES.
When you speak for them, you risk speaking over them. Instead, you should elevate their perspectives.
03: REJOICE WITH THEM.
Show the queer people around you that they are valued and recognize their faithfulness.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice…weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15
04: MOURN WITH LGBTQ+ FOLX.
Seek to understand the challenges they face. Validate the pain they feel.
05: PARTNER, DON’T PATRONIZE.
To you, LGBTQ+ inclusion may be an abstract cause. But it is very personal to lots of folx. Treat people like people rather than a cause.
06: DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK.
Don’t expect queer folx to educate you. Allyship is not passive; you need to be proactive in your own learning and growth.
07: NORMALIZE QUEERNESS.
Put your pronouns in your social media profiles and email signatures. Use gender-neutral language. Don’t assume cisgender and heterosexual is the norm.
08: DISARM THE HATERS.
Arguing just gives them a platform, and let’s face it, many haters aren’t really open to changing their minds. Try this: respectfully acknowledge where you agree and disagree, and then move on…
09: ERR ON THE SIDE OF HUMILITY.
You will make mistakes. You will misspeak and misstep, so always be humble and willing to do better.
10: LOVE OTHERS!
“Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it… Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.” Romans 12:9-10 The Message
wow this actually makes me feel really happy cause that person is me…
It me
I have to tell this story.
I thought I was the first person to come out on either side of my family, but like three years after I came out, my mom was like, “By the way, my Aunt Mildred was a lesbian.”
“What? Really?”
“Yeah. My mom just told me this story the other day about her. She also had really bad depression, so bad that she was hospitalized. Her father flew out to San Diego to see her there. The nurses caught him on the way in and told him the no matter what she said, he was not allowed to get upset.” (This is the Catholic side of the family. Like, serious Irish Catholic with eleven kids and multiple priests in the family. Also super-duper Southern. And this was the 1940s and it was illegal.) “And he got real scared, but he went in. And she said, ‘Daddy, I’m a lesbian.’ He threw his hands in the air and hollered, ‘OH THANK GOD! I was worried it was gonna be something bad.’”
So. Shoutout to my Great Aunt Mildred, because she got there before I did.
Further shoutout to my second cousin Jared, who thought he was the first in even the extended family until he turned up for Granny’s 90th birthday, saw me for the first time in probably fifteen years, and heard me utter the words, “My wife…”
General shoutout to anybody who even thought they were the first in their family when they came out, even if they found out differently later on.
Y'know what, I love this story so fucking much that I’m going to schedule it to reblog when people will see it.
shoutout to those nurses who were ready to throw the fuck down for their young depressed lesbian patient like… when we talk about allies that is actually the kind of ally that has helped us to survive. in the most literal sense.
Absolutely shoutout to Aunt Mildred’s Nurses. That was some Good Allyship.
At first I felt wrong about posting this picture. Lane looks *too* happy. 49 people were killed, and countless others wounded both physically and emotionally right here at this place. We should be somber, I thought. It’s too soon. I don’t want to seem disrespectful. But then it dawned on me. Lane was experiencing Pulse when this picture was taken this morning. She was dancing and being herself. She was happy to be there and she felt comfortable to smile and play and twirl. That’s what Pulse was built for. That’s what it continues to stand for. It’s a place where it’s safe to be who you are. To dance and feel free. To show love and spread love and BE Loved. The spirit of those beautiful souls that left us one year ago were embracing her today. Introducing her to their beloved club where a piece of them will forever dwell. Inviting her to dance with them and feel the love all around all of us. That sign in the background now represents so much. It represents love and strength and resilience. It represents pride in who you are-just as you are. As we were leaving, Lane bounced down the sidewalk smiling and said “Mom! I’ve had the best day today!” I feel like that’s how Pulse nightclub used to make its patrons feel. That’s what it was built for and that’s how I hope it continues to live in people’s hearts.
