Build me Up, Break me Down (Loki x Female Reader)

Read chapter 31 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 32

Summary : Loki talks to you about his fears of you being a mortal.

Warning : 18+ Sex, mention of past abuse, PTSD symptoms, discussion of mortality and death.

Gif has nothing to do with chapter I just love how his mouth moves

ALT

You went back to the party and it was in full swing, everyone had someone they partnered up with to dance the night out. Charlotte looked at your sad face and she excused herself from Thor to check up on you, you smiled as soon as you saw her coming

“You two look so good together” she giggled as you said that

“He said he’d take me to Asgard. Can you believe it?” You gasped, you knew Thor would like her.

“He better treat you right” she smiled but then she got worried about you

“Is everything okay with Mr hottie, did you guys talk?” She asked you and you nodded

“Don’t worry about that, we will be okay, just go have fun okay?” you nudged her to go back and she hugged you before she went back to the dance floor.

What were you even doing here? The one man you are here for won’t even talk to you more than what you have already heard before from him. You want to help him move on from that guilt, you know it’s not easy for him but how are you supposed to do that when he won’t even talk to you about his fears.

Loki wanted to disappear, he should have just gotten back to his room and stayed there until you left, that was the only way he could have kept you safe from him, but he didn’t want you to leave, he wanted to hold you and kiss you. He wanted to tell you that he was scared of hurting you again, that he was terrified of turning into that man again. And that he was scared of losing you to death. When he stepped inside the lounge, he found you standing all alone in the corner as you watched other couples dancing and having fun. He promised you that he won’t allow you to feel lonely again then what was he doing?

You saw him heading towards you so you straightened yourself up, your eyes teared up as you looked at him. He was so handsome it really hurt to look at him sometimes. He grabbed your hands in his and placed it around his shoulders, then his arms wrapped around waist, you gasped as he pulled you closer to him, thank goodness that those heels managed some of the height difference.

“Are we dancing?” he smiled as you asked him. He had told you before that he couldn’t dance, especially not in public

“Well I cannot do that.. whatever that is” he looked at Tony who was doing..well some kind of dance or voodoo, only he knew.

“But I can do what mother taught me” he clicked his fingers and the music changed, you swayed with him side to side, slowly, everytime you looked at him your eyes met with his. You knew people were staring, he has never shown you any sort of affection in public before. But then you realized that he might be using magic to hide you two from their view. So you kissed him, softly, very gently and he responded with his own tenderness.

Charlotte squealed and you looked at her.

“I thought they couldn’t see us, I’m sorry” he smiled as you got nervous then one of his hands crawled behind your head as he pulled you in for a kiss again. You have missed him so much, you have missed him holding you so tightly like this

“I’m sorry darling, for everything”

His eyes teared up so you cupped his cheeks

“Not your fault Loki, it’s not your fault, you have to stop blaming yourself”

“I wish I could, and everytime I close my eyes I wish I didn’t have visions of that night in my head but it’s there and I ..the things I said to you..you know I’d never say that to you if..”

“I know..I know baby ..hey I know okay?” You hugged him as tightly as you could so the only thing he’d feel in that moment is you, you wanted him to feel safe too and he felt safe with you.

Once you felt him relaxing in your embrace you eased your hold on him

“You want to spend some time with me all alone, just the two of us?” You asked him and his eyes teared up. He was afraid of being alone with you and that broke your heart. He nodded so you grabbed his arm and took him to his bedroom. As soon as you stepped inside you kissed him again, you didn’t want to rush him, there were things that needed to be talked about and you wanted to clear that up right now.

“Soo umm did you sleep with someone else in the past two months?”

Great. Just great. Maybe you should have saved that question for later but you couldn’t stop yourself.

“No darling, I couldn’t” you weren’t expecting him to stay loyal to you, you two were broken up and he loved having sex so it came as a surprise.

“I would ask but I know you wouldn’t do that”

“You know me far too well mister god”

He smiled as you stepped away from him and sat down on the bed to take off your heels, you weren’t used to wearing heels and they were killing your feet. You groaned and he was on his knees in front of you instantly

“Loki stop..you can’t do that” you grabbed his hand as he took your heels off one by one.

“Why?” He asked you as he pressed on the pad of your foot with his thumbs, you didn’t want to moan but it was way too satisfying

“You’re my god, you’re not supposed to do that” he smiled as he looked at you

“A god can kneel for his goddess” your face flushed, skin tingled and heart fluttered as he said that

“Come sit next to me” you patted on the bed next to you and he got up to sit next to you

“Talk to me dear god” you smiled as you looked at him

“We do need to talk”

“We sure do”

“You’re a mortal”

“Yess I am”

“I’m a god”

“Yes you are”

“You’ll be gone after few years and I’ll be here for thousands of years, that if we survive that monster Thanos will send after us gods”

“You will survive it and live to tell the story. I just know that. Are you afraid of losing me?” his eyes teared up at the question

“I’m afraid of losing you, being without you and I’m afraid of being alone again” you turned towards him and made him look at you

“You know if it was up to me I would never leave you alone, I’d be here until you’re sick of my face” you smiled and that made him smile too

“Sick of that pretty face? Never”

“There’s not much I can say to ease that fear of yours because it’s going to happen and we can’t change it but..I love you and I want to be with you for as long as I could” he sighed in response

“I want that too darling, I want that too” he pulled you on top of his lap and hugged you tightly, he hid himself between the crook of your neck because he didn’t want you to see how weak he felt in that moment

“Think of me like a pet when I’m gone”

“Don’t say that darling pleaseee”

“I’m serious, you can move on when I’m gone, you can find another lover, maybe someone immortal this time so you won’t have to lose her so soon? Just because you would find someone else, that doesn’t mean I was any less important to you, I’d still be your Little mortal and I’ll always be your favorite mortal” he knew you were trying to make him feel better and hopeful about the future, but your words only hurt him further, he didn’t want to cry standing at your grave sixty years from now. He didn’t want to lose you like that. Once you die, he’d never be able to hold you like this and the fear crushed him.

“You are my favorite darling, not just my favorite mortal but you are my favorite everything and I don’t want to lose you”

“You won’t, I’m here, live in the moment with me Loki, let’s just live and love each other, let’s make beautiful memories. You deserve to be happy, you deserve affection and love more than anyone else, and I want to drown you in it, I want to make you so happy”

You pressed your forehead against his hoping that he would choose to live in the present instead of worrying about the future, who knows what will happen ten years from now. Maybe things will change, maybe he’d fall out of love and it’d kill you to lose his affection like that but then you can’t let that fear stop you from enjoying the next few years of bliss. You never thought you’d find someone like him to call your own and now that you had him you weren’t ready to lose him at any cost or for any reason

“I wanted to give you everything you have never had, treat you the way you deserve to be treated, I promised you all that and more but I failed” you shook your head and made him look at you again.

“You didn’t fail, you never did and you already give me more than I could have imagined, just being here with you is my dream life, I never thought I’d find a man so loving, so thoughtful, a man who’d respect me enough to not hurt me, I got more than what I was looking for, and no matter what happens i’d always worship you my god because that’s who you are to me”

He looked at you all wide eyed and perplexed, maybe it was his Karma, he always thought of mortals as inferior beings, those who didn’t deserve any importance, and that’s why fate brought him to you so he’d fall for a mortal and get his comeuppance when your life would end right in front of his eyes. But he can’t hurt you anymore, you have been hurt all your life and he wants to change that, he wants to give you a happy life. You kissed his forehead and got off his lap

“Let me just call Charlotte, I hope she’s alright”

He perched himself on his elbow. You care so much, not just about him but everyone who shows you the slightest of affection. He would never meet someone as pure as his little mortal. His heart would break once in a while whenever the fear of losing you would overwhelm him but he knew that’s the burden he’d have to bear for you.

“So my brother and her were getting real chummy out there or I imagined it?” You giggled as he said that

“She’s having the best time of her life” you laid down on the bed next to him, on your front situating yourself on both of your elbows

“How’s your job going? Anyone bothering you?” he asked you as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ears and kissed your forehead

“Noo” you leaned forward to kiss him and then you got on top of him, he couldn’t have that for long so he flipped you over quickly. You took his jacket off and the t shirt followed, god you have been wanting to touch his bare skin since you got here, it’s been months since you got to have him rubbing against you so intimately, you have missed every little thing, every sound he makes, every whisper of his voice

He didn’t take your dress off, he just pulled your dress over your thighs and took your panties off, you unbuttoned his pants and he was hard already. He pulled the straps down and your bare breasts drove him even more wild.

“You are ethereal, have I ever told you that?” You bit on your lips at the compliment while his lips suckled on your nipples one by one. He looked up at you and the flashes from that night clouded his eyes again, he froze, he couldn’t move, he tried to get off you but you didn’t allow him to

“Hey hey look at me, look into my eyes loki please” you cupped his cheeks and his tears dripped down on your face “I’m safe here with you, you’d never hurt me, never ever”

“How do you know? How am I different from those men that hurt you before?” You felt offended not because of him but for him, how dare he compare your god to worms like those men

“Those men never asked questions like that because they didn’t care whether they were hurting me, that is reason enough for me, don’t you ever compare yourself with those evil men again”

You wiped his eyes and pecked on his lips, wrapping your legs around his waist you pushed his cock inside you slowly, he moaned as he felt your walls clenching around him, it’s been a long time, he placed his head down on your breasts as he pumped in and out of you slowly

“I have missed you darling, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

“I know I know..I have missed you inside me too, every night I craved you my god and I wanted to go down on my knees and pray to you but I was afraid you won’t answer me”

He just shook his head in response, he placed his arms around your head and kissed you again, his tongue played with yours while his hips continued to thrust in and out of you. “I love you princess” your eyes teared up, you couldn’t believe your ears. He knew he had to say it even though what he felt for you surpassed something as frivolous as the word love to him, because he didn’t just love you anymore, he worshiped the ground you walked on. But he knew you had been longing to hear it from him and he was going to give you everything.

“You love me?” You smiled and a moan escaped your lips as his cock brushed that sweet nerve Inside you

“Love you, yes, I love you darling and I’ll always love you”

When he finally came, he had you moaning and whimpering under him, it was the most emotionally satisfying sex of his life, the euphoria he felt as he looked into your eyes during both of your orgasms was unmatchable, it fired up every little inch of his skin and he felt it deep in his soul. That void inside him was filled again.

Once he calmed down he grabbed you in his arms and you showered with him, the cold water snapped you out of the bliss for a moment

“I’m sorry, I cannot handle warm water, let me fix it”

“It’s fine loki, just hold me” you held him as tightly as you could and you didn’t hate how cold it was around you, the temperature of his body along with water felt soothing in a way. You wondered how he looked in his natural form, he took another step forward today. He shared his fear and he was trying to move on from that incident. If things were to be like this you knew you’d see him all blue and big soon.

“Do you want to stay the night with me darling?”

“I want to stay all the nights with you” and he smiled genuinely, he seemed happy. That made you happy. He dressed you up in his clothes and you felt as if you were drowning in it but he found it really adorable.

“So if I wouldn’t have come here today, would you just let me go?”

You asked him as you fixed the bed and he rubbed his palm over his neck, from nervousness and guilt as well

“Noo, I wanted to get back to you every moment, I just .. didn’t think I deserved your affection, not even a smidgen of it”

Your eyes teared up as you noticed the sadness and hopelessness in his voice. You laid him down on the bed and got on top of him, he hasn’t been sleeping well and you haven’t been sleeping either, that was going to change tonight.

Didn’t take you both long enough to doze off, he was happy and content having you back in his arms. He has dreamt about this night since the day you left.

But then you woke up to him shivering and shaking, mumbling an apology over and over again, you knew he was thinking about that night again. The nightmares kept reminding him of the abuse he had forced upon you, you forgave him but he didn’t. And you knew it’d take some time for him to move on from that.

So you woke him up gently, wiped the sweat off his skin with your hands, and doused him in soft kisses all over his face until his breathing calmed down

“You’re okay baby, you’re safe, and I’m safe with you, you won’t hurt me I promise” you whispered in his ears softly

“I’m sorry..I’m so sorry” tears filled his eyes, his breathing remained shallow

“Noo no, don’t apologize, everything is okay now, we will get better okay? Go back to sleep”

He has never been so vulnerable in his life, even when he was he had no one to place the balm over his wounds, but now he had you. And the thought overwhelmed him again, he’d get used to you taking care of him like this and then someday you’ll leave him. Then he’ll be all alone again, without his princess to comfort him. The thought hurt him deeply, but there was nothing he could have done about it. So he wrapped his arms around you tightly and allowed himself to feel grateful and happy for this moment that he had you.

And he hoped that these moments and the memories of you will be enough for him to get by when you’re gone.

When you leave him forever.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Mirror, Mirror

Pairing: King!Loki x Queen!Reader

Warnings:SMUT! (18+ only) Explicit sexual content, mutual orgasms, slight marking kink, slight katoptronophilia (mirror sex) mentions of future pregnancy, cursing, slight cock warming, slight implications of loss of virginity/first time together, fluff, my spelling and grammar mistakes. This is fully self-indulgent and I won’t apologize.

Word Count: 779

A/N:I used a little Asgardian in this but it has translations in parentheses. This just popped into my head last night so here? No idea. No idea what the title is? I had nothing.

A/N 2: I do not consent to having my work copied, reposted, or translated in any form onto any other platforms. Reblogs are welcomed.

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Your pleasure soaked mewls bounce off the marbled walls of your shared chambers and echo off the golden walls of the kings’ hall, announcing to the entire palace that you belong to their king in a way that every maiden has dreamed of. He thrusts into your welcoming heat harshly, his slow strokes drawing soft whimpers from you. Satin sheets tangle around his waist as he hovers over you and you scramble for purchase on his lean shoulders, shallow scarlet marks left in wake of your nails; symbols of your love to kiss and remember later. His breath is hot against the shell of your ear, sending shivers of delight down your spine, his words sending flames to your belly and heart. “Ljubim te.” (I love you.)

“Tudi jaz ljubim te,” (I love you too,) you hum, kissing him softly, a contrast to the rhythmic clashing of your bodies.

“I know,” he smirks, nipping at your lower lip and coaxing a moan from you as his fingers dance down the valley of your breasts and the plains of your stomach before teasing your bundle of nerves ever so gently, his cock brushing your g-spot again and again, bringing you closer to release with every stroke of his hips. His lips trail the column of your throat and your collarbone slowly, leaving purple halos in his wake. He repeats the process as you keen, sinking your teeth into the delicate skin of his shoulder and being rewarded with a groan from his sinful lips. Your head falls against the downy, sweat-dampened pillows, eyes slipping shut in ecstasy as his mouth travels lower, his hot tongue lathing over your peaked nipples, causing your back to arch off the bed.

“Open your eyes, my love. Watch what I do to you,” he murmurs against your heated skin.

Your eyes flutter open on his command, gaze meeting the ceiling, or rather the large mirror reflecting your every move that’s mounted above the four-poster bed. Your mouth falls open in a silent gasp as one of your hands’ tangles in his raven strands, tugging gently and pulling another moan from your king. You watch, mesmerized as his hips piston into your velvet heat beneath the thin sheets as you clench around him uncontrollably, nearing the high that only he can give.

“Fuck Loki,” you pant, eyes shifting to his chiseled, pleasure-ridden features before returning to the reflection of your lovemaking. “Don’t stop,” you plead, watching the drive of him against you. The rustling of the sheets accompanies the sounds of your mixed gasps and moans as the cool summer breeze hits your overheated skin through the open french doors. His teeth leave delicate imprints against the sensitive skin of your throat and your fingers card through his hair roughly this time, egging on his slightly erratic, harsh thrusts.

“You look so lovely taking my cock, darling,” he whispers, coaxing another groan from your parted lips. “But you’ll look even more ravishing round with my child,” he growls, delicate digits twisting your sensitive, peaked nipples. The unexpected words and treatment pushes you over the edge as he grinds into you dirtily, cock twitching inside your pulsing walls as he nears his own release.

“I can’t wait to fill you over and over with my seed,” he purrs, teeth scraping against your shoulder gently as you flutter around him and his efforts slow, the warmth of his release filling you deliciously. He rests his forehead against yours, your breath mingling in warm puffs in the small space between you.

You glance down at your union, awe-filled at the sight of his length still fully sheathed in you. “I’ve always wanted a baby girl,” you admit, barely a whisper as a blush creeps up your neck and into your cheeks, your nervous gaze meeting his stormy blue gaze. A loving smile graces his features and you can’t help but return it with your own sheepish one before joining your lips in a passionate, unhurried kiss.

“As have I, my love. You’ll make an excellent queen, and an even better mother,” he promises, arms braced on either side of your head as he dotes kisses across your nose, cheeks, and mouth slowly, pulling giggles from your kiss swollen lips.

“And you’ll make an amazing father,” you return, arms wrapping loosely around his neck. “No doubt our daughter will be as mischievous as you,” you smile, wiggling your eyebrows playfully and laughing at the mock offense written across his face, which quickly changes to his signature, trouble-maker smirk. “One can only hope,” he growls playfully, disappearing under the sheets. “Allow me to show you how mischievous I can be.”

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