#loki x reader fic

The Country Club ✨

Loki x female reader

Part 5 ~Stuck in the mud

Previous Part

Italics = flashbacks

NEXT

Making your way to breakfast after showering, doing your hair and getting changed, you tried to avoid everyone’s gaze, embarrassed about what happened last night. You didn’t know which part was more embarrassing. The fact that you smashed a glass in your hand or the fact that Loki turned up with a new girlfriend after everything as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t disappeared and left you with no warning. There were arrows that pointed towards the breakfast buffet hall which you followed.

Walking inside, it was if all conversations seized to exist. You looked around at the familiar faces, all of which looked back at you, each with their own reassuring smiles. Taking a deep breath, you picked up a plate before placing some pastries onto it.

“How’s the hand?” You heard from over your shoulder.

“Please Loki please, just leave me alone.” You sighed.

“Can we speak?” He asked.

Why couldn’t he get the message NO!

“Are you hard of hearing?” You huffed, turning to face him.

“You’ve always been so stubborn.” He tutted as before you zoned out, remembering something.

“You’re a stubborn little thing aren’t you?” Loki grinned devilishly, standing behind you as you bent over your sofa as he spanked you.

“Yesss.” You answered.

“I thought you used to like me stubborn.” You quipped, snapping out of your thoughts as you glared at him.

“Maybe I still do.” He smirked, leaning down closer towards you. You looked up at him, watching as his eyes fell closed as he inhaled your scent. “How naughty, you know that’s my favourite.” He teased leaving you flustered. How dare he do what he done and then leave you flustered? He was such a prick, ultimate prick.

“Beautiful fucking prick” you whispered under your breath as you felt his hair tickling your cheek, he was so close. You quickly pushed the thought of just reaching up and kissing him away as you spun back around. How was it that he still had so much control over you even after he hurt you so bad? That must just be love, it’s easier to forgive and forget than it is to be apart. “Don’t be silly.” You murmured to yourself. Spotting Nat and Steve, you decided to sit with them.

“Hey guys.” You smiled.

“Morning y/n.” They both said in unison.

“Guys you don’t have to be awkward about the whole last night thing. Me and Loki broke up, well we weren’t really together, it’s confusing. Look can we just eat breakfast please. Stop with the questions.” You rambled.

“Y/n, no one asked any questions.” Nat clarified, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Good, let’s eat.” You smiled before spotting Bucky walking in. You waved at him, a gesture he returned. You all ate, ensuring you didn’t talk about last night. You kept your gaze forwards, not wanting to see Loki in your peripheral vision especially if he was eating with Darcy. You knew you’d have to speak to her eventually but what would you even say? You weren’t close enough for this to be a violation of girl code but what about ethics. There must be a rule that states one shall not fuck the ex that made mutual friend cry after disappearing. Soon after, there was a bell chime noise before you heard Jane and Thor speaking.

“Morning guys, we’ve got a treat planned for you all.” Jane began “spaaa dayyy.” They said together, Thors deep voice dominating.

“Great.” You huffed.

After breakfast, you, Wanda and Bucky made your ways outside, taking in some of the sunshine whilst you tried your hardest to avoid Loki. He wasn’t worth your energy and so you wouldn’t give him any. Afterwards, Jane and Thor rounded everyone up before leading you all towards the spa retreat that they had on site. Your gaze didn’t focus on Loki but it did land on him a couple times and it was strange to see him and Darcy standing so far apart considering how close they were the night before. Maybe he left her too. He had a tendency to do that.

You and the rest of the girls opted for massages after changing into robes that were provided. Afterwards, you spotted the mud bath that was yet to be explored. Considering you were not alone, you opted for keeping the robe you wore tightly secured to you as you stepped in, almost slipping before steadying yourself, mindful of your injured hand. Closing your eyes, you sank into the mud. Pure relaxation. You let out a content hum.

“Now that’s a noise I haven’t heard in a while.”

“And suddenly I’m not feeling relaxed anymore.” You said, opening your eyes to be met by Loki who was standing at the edge of the bath.

“All I want are a few moments to explain.” He requested.

“Explain? Explain what? Why you left me? I honestly don’t want to hear it Loki.” You dismissed, willing yourself to not cry. “And thanks for embarrassing me last night. I hope you’re both really happy.” You added, regretting it when your voice broke at the end.

“That wasn’t my intention.” He assured.

“Listen Loki I’m only here to support my friends, I couldn’t care less about you okay.” You lied “bye.” You announced before trying to stand up, eyes widening when you couldn’t. There’s no way I’m fucking stuck you thought, trying to hoist yourself out again. Watching you struggle, Loki smirked, that same smirk he always had when you overcame your stubbornness and asked him for help. He was such a prick.

“Need any help?” He asked, offering his hand.

“I’d rather sink.” You scoffed.

“Stop being childish.” He chuckled making you even angrier. What the fuck was funny?

“Childish? No I’ll tell you what childish is. Childish was me knowing that regardless of how distraught I was, I would have still welcomed you back but you didn’t come back did you? You left me Loki so excuse me if I don’t allow you to just speak to me whenever you want because you don’t deserve it.” You said through gritted teeth as you welled up.

He was silent for a few moments as if letting your words drown him. He even looked slightly guilty. Good.

“At least let me help you out of the mud.” He offered his hand. Spotting Bucky coming towards you, you grabbed his hand getting his attention. Bucky helped you out of the mud as Loki watched with a clenched jaw before you pushed him in, surprising even yourself when he yelped, smacking into the mud. You regretted it when he landed weirdly, hair covered in mud. He didn’t even look at you. You didn’t mean to hurt him, not that he didn’t deserve it. Part of you wanted to hear him explain whatever stupidness he had thought of as to why he left you all alone in the hopes that it would be enough, enough for you to forgive him because that’s the problem with love. It was always easier to forgive and forget.

Sorry about that mate

Grow as we Go (Loki x Female Reader) (College Au)

Read chapter 4 here//Series Masterlist

Chapter 5 (Last)

Summary : It only takes one date with Thor to make you realise how badly you have fucked up

Warning : Bullying, some violence, implied smut

(when you find your own gif look how pretty perfect college loki)

Your eyes teared up as you watched him leave. Why were you like this? You were happy with him, he made you feel so happy then why would you hurt him like that?

Natasha walked over to you and she just gave you a shrug that you knew was indication of how utterly disappointed she was in you

“You sabotage your own happiness y/n, why do you do that?” She told you as she hugged you “I hope you’ll get a chance to fix it because I have seen how happy he made you feel” when she walked away you saw Fandral storming towards you, you couldn’t catch a break.

“I take it back, you are the worst woman in the world and I hope he’d see that now” That was it. That was enough to make you want to hide from everyone, you ran towards the bathroom and locked yourself in one of the stalls as you cried your heart out. If you didn’t love Loki then why did you feel so heartbroken? 

Loki wasn’t any better, he thought things were turning around for you two but he should have known that you’d never pick him over Thor. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up because after having you like that, after making love to you and having you in his arms every night in the past few days, he was heartbroken completely. Earlier it was easy to pacify himself that you just weren’t meant to be his but now he couldn’t take the fact that he found you and then he lost you again like that.

You ran into Thor again as you came out of the bathroom and he asked you if you felt okay. So you nodded, what else were you supposed to say? He asked you out on a date and you should have said no but you couldn’t, it was Thor. The guy you always wanted. Or so you thought 

When you went home that day, you knocked on Loki’s door but he didn’t open up 

“Loki?” You called out to him but he didn’t respond, you deserved it, you don’t deserve to have him even as a friend after the way you have hurt him so cruelly. As you got ready for the date and stepped out, his eyes met with yours and you felt heartbroken again. He knew you were going to see Thor and that was enough to break him all over again.

The date sucked, you were distracted with thoughts of Loki throughout and even Thor noticed it. When he dropped you home he tried to kiss you, but as your lips met with his, you pushed him away, you hated kissing him. Despised it absolutely. Kissing Loki was electric, it made you feel tingly and he felt calm, comforting, soothing. With Thor you didn’t feel anything. 

“Are you alright, you’re being very weird” he said to you so you looked at him

“I need some time” you told him and he shrugged

“Well I am sorry if I ruined something between you and that loser, you deserve better anyways darling, someone like me” he tried to caress your cheek but you took a step back. You wanted to slap him for talking about Loki like that

“First of all I’m not your darling” only Loki’s darling. Only he gets to call you that

“Secondly, you don’t know him and he’s not a loser, he’s better than everyone around here, he’s the best” you ran inside the house, you couldn’t handle it anymore. You did sabotage your own happiness, Natasha was right. 

As soon as you got in you knocked on his door but he didn’t respond, so you opened it and he wasn’t there, where was he? You called him but he didn’t pick up, where could he go? The thought worried you so you called Fandral over and over again until he picked up, he was the only one Loki would go to if he was feeling hurt 

“What do you want?” He snapped at you as soon as he picked up

“Is he there? He’s not here” You asked him and your voice cracked with overwhelming fits of sobs 

“Well you have never cared about that before” he wasn’t wrong you haven’t cared about him before when you should have, he was lonely, hurting for you and because of you, and you were never there for him

“But I do now okay I care now and I love him, so tell me right now if he’s there” you raised your voice and Fandral sighed. You had your answer, you called a cab and went to his place, he buzzed you in and he looked very distressed

“Look he’s in the room and he’s not doing well, don’t hurt him more than you already did” Fandral told you and you headed straight for his room. 

Loki was on the bed, he was drunk so drunk 

“Lokiii” you called out to him and he sat up as he laughed and clapped his hands together

“I’m imagining her now, I’m losing it completely” he squinted his eyes so you walked towards him 

“You’re drunk” you mumbled softly as you sat down next to him 

“And you’re beautiful, always so fucking beautiful even when you cry” he placed his head down on your shoulder and you wrapped your arms around him tightly

“You’re actually here?” He pulled away after a while and you nodded

“Why?" 

"Because I love you Loki and I have fucked up badly, I don’t even know if you’d ever forgive me but I just want you back, even if just your friendship, I would take it. I can’t lose you” you sobbed and no matter how hurt he felt with the heartbreak, the sight of you sobbing was more painful than his own anguish. You wanted him back? He couldn’t believe it and did you just confess that you love him?

“You love me or you’re feeling sorry for me?” He asked you and you shook your head 

“I love you and I’m feeling sorry but not for you, for myself, for being so blind towards your affections, for being so mean to you all this time when you only cared about me in return, you dated that witch for me, who does that?” You sobbed again and he smiled, he was drunk and a part of him feared that he was imagining it all. It’s not as if he didn’t imagine the exact scenario in his head like a million times since he stormed out on you this morning.

“That was pretty selfless of me I must say" he was adorable. So adorable.

"Insane, it was insane" 

"She’s Insane" 

"Completely Psychotic yess" 

You can’t lose him, you can’t lose this. You can’t lose how pure his feelings were towards you. How he cherished you as if you were the only girl in the world, he respected you and you wanted to cherish him the same way because he deserved all that and more. 

"I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Loki, you don’t deserve me..but I’d like to work for your apology, come home with me please?" 

He’d do anything for you, no matter what happens in his life he’d never not care about the girl he has been in love with since he was fifteen. He wanted to kiss you and tell you that he still loved you as much as he loved you this morning but then a part of him did want to punish you a little.

"Okay I will come home" 

"Thank you, thank you” you stood up and put your hand out for him, he stumbled as he stood up suddenly, he was heavily drunk.

“I kissed Thor and it was the worst feeling in the world” The first half of your sentence made him feel horrible but the second half made up for it. Since you couldn’t drive ofcourse, you called a cab and on the way he placed his head down on your shoulder as he passed out and you couldn’t help but think of a memory from your past.

You were seventeen and have smashed your dad’s car very badly and when you came home you were terrified of what he’ll do, so you didn’t tell them anything and waited for it to blow over in your face whenever he will see it in future. But Loki noticed how distressed you looked so you confided in him, next morning you saw Loki talking to your dad and he seemed so angry, you thought he had told him about the accident so you instantly stormed towards him and just said several awful things to him that you dont even remember now.

He looked so sad, so hurt, and then your dad grounded you for weeks. 

You found out later that he didn’t tell your dad that you caused the accident, he took the blame on himself so you won’t have to suffer, it was you that exposed yourself by being upset with him because you always thought he was out to ruin you and make your parents love him more than they loved you.

“Lokii?” You called out to him and he hummed in response

“I’m sorry about the things I said after the car accident” he opened his eyes and looked at you 

“You’re forgiven darling” he smiled and that made you feel a little better. 

One you both reached home, you made him drink loads of water, you changed his clothes, then you tucked him in the bed 

“Sleep with me” he mumbled as you were about to leave the room. That made you happy, he still wanted you around him.

“I’ll get changed and come back" 

You slept holding him that night, and he couldn’t have been happier, next day he woke up a little late and you were already gone for uni. He did find a note from you and his eyes teared up as he looked at the guitar case you left for him, when he opened it, he saw the shiny new guitar that looked almost identical to the one his mom gave him and when he read the note, he cried like a baby again.

"I couldn’t get it fixed, but I met a guy who builds instruments from scratch, so I gave him the pieces of the guitar your mom gave you and it’s all in there in this one. I know it’s not the same but I hope it brings you a little comfort" 

He instantly got ready and left for uni, he missed a class already but he just had to see you after that sweet gesture.

He was keeping his books in the locker when the witch from hell spoke from behind him 

"If it isn’t the loser that got dumped yesterday by the girl he had been lusting after for years” her minions chuckled as she finished her sentence. He turned around and tried to walk away but they formed a half circle around him, then he saw Thor and his band of bullies approaching him.

“What is your problem?” He asked Trinity and she got angry 

“Is he bothering you again?” Thor placed his arms around her shoulder and she started fake sobbing

“He touched me inappropriately” she sniffed and loki closed his eyes as he was ready to feel a punch, he didn’t want to fight or create a scene, he just wanted to see you. He Just wanted to kiss you.

“Don’t you dare put your hands on him” he heard your voice as you stood in front of him with your back pressed against his chest and your arms wrapped around him 

“Yeah what will you do huh?” Trinity crossed her arms as she smirked, 

“I always wanted to do this” you turned your head to look at Loki and he furrowed his brow. You were going to jump on him as soon as you’re home. 

“Do what?” He whispered softly 

You smiled and then you punched Trinity right in the nose, her minions gasped as her nose started bleeding and Thor seemed visibly upset 

“What are you looking at dickhead? Are you going to beat me up too with your friends? Go on” you mocked him and he just gulped in frustration, then he took Trinity to get nursed while she cried for real this time 

“You’re going to get suspended darling" 

You turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck, your eyes teared up as you looked at him

"Worth it” that’s when he kissed you. Everything was better again and you could hear Natasha squealing behind you

 ….

You got suspended for a week, for punching a fellow student in front of everyone and for once in your life you didn’t care how disappointed your parents would be in you when they found out. You were on his bed currently, copying the psych notes, you just wanted to pass the class and you had the hottest shirtless tutor in front of you. He had himself perched on his elbows right in front of you, with textbooks between you two, once in a while he would lean forward and just kiss the heck out of you. You loved it

“So when you become the hot shot psychologist, would I need an appointment to see you?” He chuckled as you said that then his smile faltered

“I have a game tomorrow” you kissed him softly as he said that 

“You also have a test tomorrow, you’re not going to miss the test now are you?" 

"My father would disown me if I don’t make it to this match" 

"Would it be so bad? You don’t need him, there are several other ways" 

"I don’t know the idea of drowning in student loans is not all that appealing to me" you sighed as he said that.

"You deserve to follow your dreams, lo, you know I’ll cheer you on whether you’re playing a sport or not, you’re not alone” he smiled and kissed your forehead. He was lucky that he had you at least. Maybe he can finally build the courage to stand up to his father. All in good times hopefully.

“Hmmm well we still have time to think about that, now that you’re done with those goddamned notes, come to me” you giggled as he sat up and got on top of you, he placed your arms over your head as he he took his time and ruined you with every thrust of his hips 

“Damn baby you feel like heaven, I just want to stay here forever and love you like this all my life, every fucking day of my life” he mumbled in your ears and you’d be lying if you said that’s not what you wanted as well. It took you long enough to realize what he meant to you but now that you did you know you’d never find a man who could make you feel the way he did. He was your home. He has been since you were fifteen.

“I love you lo, I love you so much..my roomie" 

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Series Masterlist

Grow as we Go (Loki x Female Reader) (College Au)

Summary : You have lived with Loki since you were 15, he annoys you to the core and you hate him but is that all there’s to your feelings about him?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 (last)

Build me Up, Break me Down (Loki x Female Reader)

Read chapter 25 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 26

Summary : Loki hav some fun with your family members

Warning : mention of abuse, Loki being loki, loki being a good god boyfriend, dry humping

ALT

You woke up in the middle of the night as you had a dream about your mother. It must be all the talking today and sharing your past with Loki that brought those memories to the surface. Your face was pressed into his chest so you looked up at him, wiping the drool from his skin, being grateful that he wasn’t up to see that. He was holding you so tightly as if he was afraid they’d take you away and hurt you.

You tried to wriggle out of his embrace as you had to use the loo but that’s when he woke up from the sleep.

“Darling, don’t leave me” He could barely keep his eyes open as he mumbled, his voice was so soft and his words made you smile

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you, I have to use the bathroom”

“Mmm okay” you tried to get up but he didn’t loosen his grip on you

“Lokii?”

“Yes princess” that name would never not make you flushed. He opened his eyes again as he realised he was suffocating you with his hold, so he eased his grip on you. You smiled as you slipped out of his embrace and when you went to the bathroom you noticed all the expensive toiletries, as if he would care about that. He was happy just with a soap, for a royal god prince he was very low maintenance.

People in your family were very cheap, literally and otherwise so it really came as a surprise that they had all this fanciness laid out for him.

You couldn’t help but wonder if they knew he was coming, but how did they know? They must have seen him fighting for you on tv but nobody knew you two were together, or in a relationship, if that’s what it was.

When you came out you checked the clock. It was 5 am and maybe it was your surroundings or the grief you were feeling in the moment, but you couldn’t go back to sleep.

“Come to bed little mortal” he mumbled and you smiled but then you heard the noise your tummy made

“I’m hungry” he looked at you standing at the edge of the bed with that adorable look on your face that hinted towards your empty belly and he sat up, he grabbed your hand and kissed it softly before he placed his head down on it. Was he sleeping like that?

“Lokii baby go to sleep I will just go eat something and be right back” You caressed his head with your other hand, he didn’t get much sleep last night and nor today.

Did you just call him baby? He heard you accurately, right? He never understood that mortal term of endearment but coming from you it made him feel so mushy and warm.

“Just come here for a minute, I’m not letting you go out there alone” he made you sit down on his lap and pressed his head down on your chest, you sat sideways on him and your fingers played with his hair while he dozed off again for a moment.

You always wondered if he had ever been cuddled like this before, you knew he slept holding Penny in her arms, but it wasn’t like this, he didn’t seem to cling to her the way he did with you or maybe you just had wishful thinking but you wanted to be someone he could feel comfortable being so clingy with. When you met him, you never could have imagined holding him like this or having him be so protective of you. He always looked at you as if he wanted to kill you.

“Okay I’m up, let’s go feed that tummy of yours” you smiled as you stood up and he put a trouser on magically

“I should start storing the food in my vault, you get ravenous all the time” you looked at him confused as he said that

“Your vault?” You asked him and he nodded as you walked him towards the kitchen

“Where do you think I’m conjuring all my things from?” He raised his brow giving you a quizzical look

“I thought it was magic” he smiled and kissed your head as you said that

“I can not produce things, I can only conjure what I already have darling”

“So umm like magic tricks?” Wow that was educational for you.

Your smile didn’t last long as you found David in the kitchen, he was drinking all alone. Loki grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him but he kept his eyes on David, he was angry and everything you told him was running through his head, he didn’t want to but he couldn’t help and picture this toe shaped ugly man forcing himself on you, the image of his sixteen year old sweet mortal being hurt by this monster was too painful for him to bear.

“Hello baby” That was it. Loki walked over to him and grabbed him by the collar, then he smashed his head into the refrigerator, you didn’t want him to kill someone today. Not before the funeral at least.

“Loki what are you doing..stop please stop” you came between them and tried to pull him off David, you could see the hurt, the rage in his eyes and you just wanted to calm him down so you wrapped your arms around his waist and took few steps back along with him so he could get away from David

“It’s grandma’s funeral today loki..please..please” he looked at you as he heard your pleading voice and his eyes softened.

You heard David screaming as he grabbed his head, he felt piercing pain in his head than that pain transferred to his nether region

“That’s what you used to hurt her, to rip her dignity” He walked over to David again and you were hoping this wouldn’t end in his death, at least not today

“I hope you can live without one now” Loki smirked and David’s eyes widened, he looked down and it was gone, he didn’t have a penis anymore,

“You’re a freak, a freak” he started crying as he ran out of the kitchen.

“What did you do, Loki?”

“Just a bit of fun, I’m the god of mischief afterall” you sighed as you walked towards him and hugged him

“You look hot when you get all angry” he smiled a little as he kissed you. Then he picked you up and made you sit down on the counter

“I thought you brought me here to feed yourself”

“That was the plan I promise” you mumbled as he pulled you closer wrapping your legs around him, you could feel his bulge rubbing against your core. He was always horny.

“How many bad memories do you have about this space?” You moaned as he grinded his hips into you, stimulating your clit with every friction

“Way too many, Bonny once brought her boyfriend home, and they were making out in the kitchen while I cooked and it made me so sad because I knew I’d never get someone like that” Oh Bonny was on his list after David, his wife, Martin, your dad and Marcia

“How wrong you were, hmm?” You bit on your lips as he sucked a mark on your neck

“You’re not my boyfriend, you’re my god and that’s better, so much better”

Oh he wanted to be anything you wanted him to be. He would give you everything.

“Mmm it is better, my little subject, it definitely is, all those bad memories must wound you, let’s make a good one darling, I want you to cum like this for me, right here” he whispered in your ear and you nodded desperately, You worried that someone would come out and see, but you didn’t care in the moment.

He kept moving his hips driving you more and more towards a clitoral orgasm. He noticed someone through his peripheral vision, and he knew who it was, it was your stepsisters, Bonny and Claire. Now he felt extremely territorial about you and as long as you’re his he’d never allow anyone to see you like this, they didn’t deserve to see you amidst such private moment, only he did.

You’re his. But then he thought about your sisters purposefully hurting your self esteem by pulling tricks like that and he wanted to hurt them the same way. They could only see your back, his bare half naked body was visible to them and he knew they were feeling envious of you, so jealous, so hurt.

“That’s it ..that’s my girl, I wish you could see how seductive you look like this, just taking whatever I’m giving you like a good girl” he didn’t whisper this time, his voice was low, husky, breathy but loud enough for them to hear and he smiled as he watched your sisters fuming with jealousy, they would never get a taste of him. He belonged to you now, only you. He was yours.

“Oh god, please I want to cum, please bless me with a release” you moaned as you wrapped your arms around him, placing your head between the crook of his neck sucking on his soft skin, earning a delicious moan that filled your ears.

“Let go princess, I have got you, I have got you” He stimulated your clit from over your clothes with his fingers and that did you in, your orgasm swept you off in waves, you felt floaty, this is the third time he had made you cum in matter of few hours. As your breathing calmed down, your lips latched onto him. You felt wet and you knew you’d have to take a shower before you get to eat now and it was all worth it. He watched your sisters running away, and that brought him some satisfaction, he would hurt them how they have hurt you. He’d make them all feel how they have made you feel all these years.

He picked you up in his arms and took you back to the bedroom, you both showered and then you took him back to the kitchen. It was around 7 am now and there was still time for the funeral ceremony.

“This time we eat” he chuckled as you got around the kitchen effortlessly. A skill you learned over the years of feeding these useless hogs.

You wanted to make the pancakes just for you two but he noticed how you made the batter enough for 10 people to eat, that’s how he knew that your pure kind heart still cared for these monsters, he knew that you cared about your dad at least if nobody else.

“Can I help with something?” He asked you so you shook your head

“Noo you just stand there and look pretty” you bit on your lips as you noticed the expression on his face. You called him pretty, you called a god pretty.

“Darling as much as I enjoy the godly treatment, I’d like to offer my help in doing chores, especially if we are going to live together, don’t expect me to just sit around while you do everything” your eyes teared up as he said that. You were used to doing everything by yourself, he was your god and he was someone you respected deeply so you’d never ask him to help you with chores but if he wanted to do it you won’t stop him either.

Rest of the people woke up soon after, you didn’t even look up when you saw Martin on the dining table, Loki noticed his eyes on you and he was enraged again. You liked him, you told him that you liked him because he was nice to you before he used you, Martin brought his new wife along with him and she kept glaring at you as if she knew about the history between you two.

Everything was awkward around you two, nobody was talking to you anymore, they wanted to talk to Loki but he was keeping to himself and he was only talking to you.

When everyone sat down on the dining table to eat breakfast, Loki finally spoke to them

“So Marcia, were you waiting for the opportunity to Marry y/n’s dad? Tell me did you pray to your God for her mom to perish so you could finally take her place?” Everyone gasped as he said that so casually while cutting a piece of pancake with his knife, you looked at him and he scrunched his forehead

“What are you talking about son and be a little respectful”

He chuckled as she said that

“That is hilarious you foolish mortal, Do not call me son, you were born merely 70 years ago I assume by looking at your features. I was born 1045 years ago to be astute” And another set of collective gasp was heard. First of all he called her 70 when she was merely in her early 50s, then he made her realize that he was older than everyone else around here.

He clicked his fingers and all the chairs disappeared except the one he was sitting on and yours, they all fell down and then he clicked his fingers again, their plates were on the floor in front of them.

“Since I’m a god, I would like for you mortals to be more respectful of my presence here. Eating on the floor can be very humbling” You noticed Marcia’s eyes tearing up as she felt the humiliation. They were scared of his powers and things he could do and hence none of them spoke a word.

“Can I sit down on my knees in front of you and serve you?” You whispered in his ears and he glared at you as he felt the blood rushing towards his cock

“Do not tempt me darling while I’m trying to teach a lesson here” you heard his voice in your head and your mouth curved into a sly smile

“Go on, start feeding, we don’t want to be late for her grandma’s funeral now do we?” They all started eating as he raised his voice, they always made you sit on the floor, you weren’t allowed to sit on any furniture, it was kind of satisfying to see them like this.

“Why is she sitting on the chair then?” Claire asked him and he smiled

“You’re right, my mistake” you looked at him as he said that

“Darling, sit here on my lap, a goddess should be on her celestial throne” he opened his legs wide and held out his hand for you, your eyes teared up at the gesture, you’d do anything for him, hell you would wash his dirty feet and drink the water if he’d ask you too. That’s how much you loved him. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you sat down on him

“Thank you” he noticed your teary eyes so he kissed your forehead. He didn’t show you any affection in public but he just had to show these awful beings that you were precious and extremely important to him. They spend their lives making you feel worthless and unworthy of love and watching you being treated so tenderly by a literal god was hurtful for their fragile ego.

“How far is the venue?” Loki asked your father and he cleared his throat

“Two miles”

“And when do we have to be there? At what time?”

“Around 11” Loki nodded in response

“Hmm that gives you all plenty of time to reach there by foot if you leave now, I shall see you all there” and then they all gasped again

“By foot are you fucking crazy?” Martin raised his voice and Loki’s jaw clenched

“Now since you spoke out of turn and so disrespectfully, you must run to the venue, if I find that you have stopped even once on the way, you would not enjoy what I’ll do with you, am I understood clearly? Because if not, I have several other means to specify what I mean” Loki glared at him and Martin looked down

“Don’t make this worse for yourself” you told him and he was this close to crying as he felt the humiliation, they were all so terrified and frustrated

“Now hurry up, I shall see you pathetic mortals at the venue, and don’t try to cheat, I would know, my clone will follow you because I do not trust you fools” he got up once you were both done eating and took you back to the guest room so you can get ready leaving them all to bash their heads together.

“You are so sexyyy” you mumbled as soon as you got Inside the room, he smiled and laid down on the bed to watch you undress and get ready. You did light makeup and put on a black formal dress, you both still had time, thankfully you didn’t have to walk to the venue, you feared for everyone who dared to get on his wrong side. He was so powerful and almost invincible especially when compared to mortals. You knew he wouldn’t just let it slide after what you told him about your past. And they deserved it, as long as he didn’t get in trouble by killing them, you were okay with it.

You laid down next to him, keeping your head on his arm and he instantly pulled you closer

“So umm this clone of yours, does he have a conscience?” He chuckled as you asked him that

“No he’s just a robot, he does what I ask him to, Nothing more, nothing less”

“But he’s a part of you right?”

“He is, I have used them during fornication before” your eyes widened as he said that

“You mean like there can be several of you at one time?” You put your chin on his chest and he tucked your hair behind your ears

“There can be as many as I want, yes. In any shape or form”

“Wowww” you were thinking about it he knew that.

“Let it out darling” you shook your head as he said that but then he noticed your eyes tearing up

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“No no I’m just being silly Loki”

“Princess what is it?” You sat up on the bed and he mirrored your action

“It’s just I just ..there’s only one you, real you. And I just want him, nobody else, not even your clone” he pulled you closer so he could kiss you. Maybe he wasn’t the only one feeling territorial about you, you felt the same

“Oh darling I can not share you with anyone either, you’re mine and I won’t let anyone see you like that, not even my clone, however this morning I did torture your sisters as they burned with jealousy while I pleasured you in the kitchen” you weren’t shocked by that, he was torturing these people in the way they tortured you.

“Mmm I felt that, I knew someone was there, and I knew you won’t let a man see me like that”

“I’d never break your trust I promise, you’re mine only” you smiled as he said that. How did you get so lucky? He lost his smile as he thought about his heritage and how would you react once you see him like that.

“This is not me though, it’s not my natural form” he laid down again, placing one of his hand behind his head so you got on top of him

“I know you’re a frost giant Loki, I didn’t mean your body or your face when I said I’d only want you. I meant you, you as a whole. I meant your soul, it’s always going to be the same no matter what form or shape you take, you’ll always be my god” his eyes teared up as he heard the sincerity in your voice. He wasn’t ready to show you just yet but he knew he’d get there someday, especially if you continue to adore him with such affections

“Even if I look like a bilgesnipe?”

“I don’t know what that is but yes even if you look like a bilgesnipe”

You leaned down to kiss him, around 10 am you found the keys to your dad’s car and he drove you towards the venue. You saw your family midway, walking under the sun as his clone followed them. Loki was in black suit for the funeral but his clone was in all his Asgardian glory.

As you saw your grandmother in the casket, you couldn’t hold back the tears, you remembered the time you spent with her, it was only because of her you learned to read and had basic skills that helped you move forward in life. He held you close throughout the ceremony and he didn’t allow anyone to even touch you. During lunch, her lawyer found you and whatever money she had in her savings, she gave it to you, much to your family’s dismay. You didn’t feel that you deserved to keep it but Loki convinced you to accept it as a blessing. She also had a photo album that held pictures of your mother, some of them you have never seen before, your mom’s wedding dress was there too.

Worst part was she was your grandmother from your dad’s side but she still kept all those things, she truly loved her daughter in law and she loved you.

On your way back to the house, Loki noticed how lost you seemed, you had to get your stuff so you could get out of there. When he stopped the car outside the house, you felt him caressing your cheek so you leaned into his touch

“Talk to me darling”

“I just.. she was the only family I had left and now she’s gone too, I have no family now” your eyes teared up and so did his, that’s how he feels about Asgard and home, about Frigga. Even though she’s alive it’s not the same. Nothing is the same.

“You have me, I might not be your family darling but you have me and I won’t leave you alone, you’d never be alone again” you hugged him tightly as he said that. You didn’t know what the future will bring for you two but in that moment you felt content, safe, loved and cherished.

“Thank you loki, I love you” you mumbled softly and he kissed your forehead, he rubbed your hands with his thumbs and that’s when you realized that it’s how he showed his love. He might not say the words but he showed it in several ways.

You wanted to leave and go back to New York but loki had other plans

“Can we stay one more night, I’m not done with these buffoons”

A smile crept on your lips as you noticed the devilish grin on his features.

“Whatever you need my god”

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Grow as we Go (Loki x Female Reader) (College Au)

Read chapter 3 here

Summary : Your relationship with Loki changes for good then the arrival of Thor changes it again. Would you realise what loki means to you before it’s too late?

Warning : Sex but nothing graphic.

Your lips moved in unison, he had his hands wrapped around your waist as they roamed up and down, you had nothing to hold as he was always half naked so you pressed your hands on his chest

“You’re hard” his eyes widened as you said that and so did yours when you realized what you have said “No I meant your pecs, hard, very hard”

He smiled as he stepped away from you. So that just happened. You didn’t know what he was thinking but you knew you wanted to do it again.

“So you said you have always wanted to do that?” His pale cheeks formed a rosy shin as you said that, he was blushing so deeply

“Darling I love you but you can be really daft at times” he smiled but then he realized what he has said

“You love me?”

“No I mean ..not like that.. like we have been living together and been friends for 5 years now of course I love you, like what am I? A monster?”

You smiled as he blabbed nervously and walked closer to him

“Well I wanted to do that since yesterday but.. ” you bit on your lips as you suddenly felt shy in his proximity. You have been living with him for years and suddenly he’s getting you all flustered

“But?”

“I really liked it and I would like more” he cupped your cheeks, as soon as words left your mouth he kissed you again, when he pulled away he had you gasping for air.

“You’re my roommate darling and I ..I have liked you since I saw you” you raised your eyebrows as he said that

“Why? I was.. I was horrible to you”

“No not all the time, you do things, little things that nobody does for me” you smiled as he said that. He got nervous again as you pressed a kiss on his bare sternum,

“Let me take you out on a date?” He finally built the courage to ask you that and you smiled

“When?”

“Tomorrow?” You nodded as he said that, you kissed him again before you left for your own room because you knew the more you stay there, the more you’d want to do things to him and with him and have him do bad naughty things to you. As you laid down in your bed that night, you pictured that kiss in your head a million times before sleep came for you. You took out your phone and went through the pictures, you found that old picture your parents took the day he came to live with your family. He was so tall and lanky but he still had the same smile. You noticed the frown you had in that picture while he was smiling like someone had hung the moon over his head.

Next day you both didn’t have uni, you went to the kitchen and he was Already making breakfast, you realized how weird it was to be insanely attracted to the guy you have been living with for years. Then you realized how hard it must have been for him all this time.

“Good morning” he noticed how adorable you looked, you had makeup on, that made him smile, he didn’t care about that, he loved looking at your swollen just out of bed face in the morning but you made an effort for him and that swelled his heart.

“Good morning darling, care for breakfast?” You walked closer to him to look at the pan and he fidgeted a little at the closeness. He wasn’t a virgin, not by long shot but you made him so nervous.

“That smells delish” you looked at him and then you bit on your lips “And so do you” he blushed again at the compliment and as you turned around to get something from the refrigerator he pressed his nose against his shoulder. He did smell delish and he was grateful for that.

You both were just chit chatting while you ate together and he had you laughing and giggling. He was a funny dude, very humorous, one of the many reasons you detested him.

“You know your best friend hates me?”

“Fandral?” He asked you and you nodded

“He doesn’t hate you, he just..I have spent nights at his house getting drunk and just talking about you while he had to pretend that he enjoyed listening to his buddy crying over an unrequited affection”

“Why didn’t you..tell me before?” You asked him and he looked at you so intensely you wanted to kiss him again, you wanted to feel those sparks and all the tingling sensations that followed with it

“I couldn’t lose you, or this, whatever we had, you fought with me, argued with me and those were the best parts of my day” your eyes teared up as he said that. You got up from your seat, and he tilted his head up to look at you, you leaned down and cupped his cheeks then you kissed him

“You’re silly loki, so silly but you’re always so right, I should go and prepare myself for the date” you smiled and he was just trying to supply the sufficient amount of oxygen to his brain.

As you got back to your room, you called Nat and she legit screamed in your ears

“Okay when you’re done hyperventilating, please tell me should I wear something sexy or just cas”

“Sexy always sexy, Girl blow his mind and then his cock tonight or I’ll be so disappointed”

“Shut up you’re so dirty” you giggled but the thought made you blush. God you have been thinking such dirty things about your roommate now, all those people who told you that you treated him like a brother can suck it now.

In the evening you got ready in a short white thin strapped dress, that looked virginal but very sexy. His eyes almost blew out of his socket as he saw you. He matched you accidentally with the white shirt he was wearing that he paired with a black pants. He looked like a perfect gentleman. The date was a blur to you, you wished you could focus on things he was saying and everything else but you could only focus on his lips as he talked, his veiny forearms as he drove, his scent as he got closer to you.

If that’s how he felt about you all this time and still kept his feelings to himself, you wanted to applaud him for that.

Normally on a date the guy drops you at home and you’re supposed to kiss him, maybe let him have a feel or two and then he leaves. Your situation was different, you lived with him.

Once you got inside the house, you asked him if he’d like a drink and he sat down on the couch.

You inched closer and closer to him and he was trying to hide the bulge forming in his pants

“So are you like this with all your girls” you pecked his cheek and he turned his body towards you, same as you, he tucked your hair behind your ears and you looked down

“Like what?”

“Like a gentleman, so respectful” you mumbled as you unbuttoned the top button of his shirt

“I can be whatever you want me to be, baby” oh baby. You liked that. You got on his lap and he took a deep breath

“I can take things slow or fast, it’s up to you, I’ll take whatever you give me because I’m over the moon with this development” you smiled and then your lips latched onto his neck, he let out a moan and that fired you up instantly. It wouldn’t be so bad to go to bed with him if he makes noises like that

“I’m a virgin” you whispered in his ears but he didn’t seem surprised by that

“I know”

“How?”

“I just know, I’m sorry if that makes me look like a creep” you giggled and shook your head

“Are you okay with me having no experience?”

“It wouldn’t matter darling, it’s kind of perfect, I get to teach you everything” he rubbed your lips with his thumb and you closed your eyes. The only thing he has taught you in life was high school calculus and first year psych. But you’d like to learn this stuff from him.

“Lokiii Lokii” you mumbled his name and he hummed

“I want it”

“Baby take your time, I don’t want you to regret me”

His eyes teared up so you kissed him again

“Please I want it, I have waited long enough”

“Are you sure?” He asked you softly and you nodded.

He picked you up and took you to his bedroom. As soon as he laid you down on his bed, you could feel him all around you, he was gentle as he undressed you, so soft and the praises he whispered in your ears made your heart skip several beats. He opened you up slowly first with his fingers then he had his mouth on you, you felt so shy about that but he clasped his fingers with yours as he drank from you, the experience was cathartic as you came around him. Having him inside you felt like heaven, it did hurt, you were a virgin and he wasn’t exactly average, he was pretty perfect in every way and you couldn’t believe how blind you have been before. His breathing got erratic as he reached closer to his orgasm

“Ohh loki..oh baby”

“I love you y/n, I have always loved you, I love you so much” your eyes teared up as you felt him cumming, you wished you could feel him without the barrier of the condom but maybe someday. The confession thrilled you but you couldn’t respond because you didn’t know just yet. Did you love him or did you lust him? You just didn’t know.

Next morning when he woke up you weren’t there, his heart clenched instantly, did you regret it? He knocked on your door as he got ready for uni. When you opened the door you seemed happy, and that made him feel relieved.

Things felt perfect, for a week at least, you slept with him every night after that because you couldn’t just stop, he was irresistible.

…..

“Okay maybe you’re not the worst woman in the world” you chuckled as Fandral said that.

You were losing your mind as you looked at the crowd that turned up for your play, but he was there backstage, kissing your forehead, soothing your nerves, telling you how proud he was of you.

“They didn’t come” your eyes teared up as you noticed the vacant seats where your parents were supposed to sit and he kissed you softly

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay”

The performance couldn’t have gone any better, it was the best night of your life in every way. Everyone loved you in the play, everyone wanted to congratulate you, they wanted to talk to you and you had a very handsome boyfriend. He told you that he didn’t want to pressure you, that you could take your time with this and your feelings about him and you appreciated that. You still had repressed feelings about Thor for some reason

It was Valentine’s day the next day and you had a gift for loki. So did he. But things didn’t turn out how you wanted them to, Thor was in front of you in the cafeteria asking you out for a date and you just stared at him for a good few minutes, you had a crush on him. The only reason you wanted to do this play was so that he’d notice you

“So would you like to be my valentine Miss?” Your mouth hung open as he asked you that,

“Ummm Thor..I ”

“Yes?” He kissed the back of your hand and that made you so nervous, so fucking nervous. You could feel everyone’s eyes around you, Natasha was glaring at you, and then you saw Loki, his eyes were teary as he walked out so you followed him

“Loki?” He was shoving the flowers he had for you in the locker, he was heartbroken and hurt, he saw the way you looked at him

“If you want to date him just go, I won’t stop you, you’re not tied to me” your eyes teared up too as he said that

“I like him”

“I know, I know”

“I don’t want to hurt you, I care about you loki and I ”

“Y/n? Just go..I’ll live, I’ll be fine” you felt hurt for him, you never wanted to hurt him but you had no idea what you were doing or if you were making a mistake.

“I just don’t know why you even like me Loki? I haven’t been the best person to you, you know that” he smiled as he wiped his tears

“I was 15 when my dad decided that it would be completely okay for him to send his 15 year old son to a new country. I was dejected when I came here, I didn’t even know if I’d be able to survive it but then I saw you ..and I just.. I felt okay, happy even. I didn’t know why, but that’s just how I felt. Then mama left me and I got the same feeling all over again but then at night when you sat next to me and held my hand to comfort me I felt okay, I knew I’ll survive as long as I had you. It’s not your fault that I felt that way about you, that you calmed my soul, that you made me feel normal for once and I always made your life harder didn’t I? So don’t let me do that again, go be with somebody who you want to be with alright?”

He slammed his locker shut and left you there to contemplate over his words and what he said. And it only took you losing him to make you realize that you indeed loved him.

That he was the only man you wanted to be with. But you lost him.

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Build me Up, Break me Down (Loki x Female Reader)

Read chapter 31 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 32

Summary : Loki talks to you about his fears of you being a mortal.

Warning : 18+ Sex, mention of past abuse, PTSD symptoms, discussion of mortality and death.

Gif has nothing to do with chapter I just love how his mouth moves

ALT

You went back to the party and it was in full swing, everyone had someone they partnered up with to dance the night out. Charlotte looked at your sad face and she excused herself from Thor to check up on you, you smiled as soon as you saw her coming

“You two look so good together” she giggled as you said that

“He said he’d take me to Asgard. Can you believe it?” You gasped, you knew Thor would like her.

“He better treat you right” she smiled but then she got worried about you

“Is everything okay with Mr hottie, did you guys talk?” She asked you and you nodded

“Don’t worry about that, we will be okay, just go have fun okay?” you nudged her to go back and she hugged you before she went back to the dance floor.

What were you even doing here? The one man you are here for won’t even talk to you more than what you have already heard before from him. You want to help him move on from that guilt, you know it’s not easy for him but how are you supposed to do that when he won’t even talk to you about his fears.

Loki wanted to disappear, he should have just gotten back to his room and stayed there until you left, that was the only way he could have kept you safe from him, but he didn’t want you to leave, he wanted to hold you and kiss you. He wanted to tell you that he was scared of hurting you again, that he was terrified of turning into that man again. And that he was scared of losing you to death. When he stepped inside the lounge, he found you standing all alone in the corner as you watched other couples dancing and having fun. He promised you that he won’t allow you to feel lonely again then what was he doing?

You saw him heading towards you so you straightened yourself up, your eyes teared up as you looked at him. He was so handsome it really hurt to look at him sometimes. He grabbed your hands in his and placed it around his shoulders, then his arms wrapped around waist, you gasped as he pulled you closer to him, thank goodness that those heels managed some of the height difference.

“Are we dancing?” he smiled as you asked him. He had told you before that he couldn’t dance, especially not in public

“Well I cannot do that.. whatever that is” he looked at Tony who was doing..well some kind of dance or voodoo, only he knew.

“But I can do what mother taught me” he clicked his fingers and the music changed, you swayed with him side to side, slowly, everytime you looked at him your eyes met with his. You knew people were staring, he has never shown you any sort of affection in public before. But then you realized that he might be using magic to hide you two from their view. So you kissed him, softly, very gently and he responded with his own tenderness.

Charlotte squealed and you looked at her.

“I thought they couldn’t see us, I’m sorry” he smiled as you got nervous then one of his hands crawled behind your head as he pulled you in for a kiss again. You have missed him so much, you have missed him holding you so tightly like this

“I’m sorry darling, for everything”

His eyes teared up so you cupped his cheeks

“Not your fault Loki, it’s not your fault, you have to stop blaming yourself”

“I wish I could, and everytime I close my eyes I wish I didn’t have visions of that night in my head but it’s there and I ..the things I said to you..you know I’d never say that to you if..”

“I know..I know baby ..hey I know okay?” You hugged him as tightly as you could so the only thing he’d feel in that moment is you, you wanted him to feel safe too and he felt safe with you.

Once you felt him relaxing in your embrace you eased your hold on him

“You want to spend some time with me all alone, just the two of us?” You asked him and his eyes teared up. He was afraid of being alone with you and that broke your heart. He nodded so you grabbed his arm and took him to his bedroom. As soon as you stepped inside you kissed him again, you didn’t want to rush him, there were things that needed to be talked about and you wanted to clear that up right now.

“Soo umm did you sleep with someone else in the past two months?”

Great. Just great. Maybe you should have saved that question for later but you couldn’t stop yourself.

“No darling, I couldn’t” you weren’t expecting him to stay loyal to you, you two were broken up and he loved having sex so it came as a surprise.

“I would ask but I know you wouldn’t do that”

“You know me far too well mister god”

He smiled as you stepped away from him and sat down on the bed to take off your heels, you weren’t used to wearing heels and they were killing your feet. You groaned and he was on his knees in front of you instantly

“Loki stop..you can’t do that” you grabbed his hand as he took your heels off one by one.

“Why?” He asked you as he pressed on the pad of your foot with his thumbs, you didn’t want to moan but it was way too satisfying

“You’re my god, you’re not supposed to do that” he smiled as he looked at you

“A god can kneel for his goddess” your face flushed, skin tingled and heart fluttered as he said that

“Come sit next to me” you patted on the bed next to you and he got up to sit next to you

“Talk to me dear god” you smiled as you looked at him

“We do need to talk”

“We sure do”

“You’re a mortal”

“Yess I am”

“I’m a god”

“Yes you are”

“You’ll be gone after few years and I’ll be here for thousands of years, that if we survive that monster Thanos will send after us gods”

“You will survive it and live to tell the story. I just know that. Are you afraid of losing me?” his eyes teared up at the question

“I’m afraid of losing you, being without you and I’m afraid of being alone again” you turned towards him and made him look at you

“You know if it was up to me I would never leave you alone, I’d be here until you’re sick of my face” you smiled and that made him smile too

“Sick of that pretty face? Never”

“There’s not much I can say to ease that fear of yours because it’s going to happen and we can’t change it but..I love you and I want to be with you for as long as I could” he sighed in response

“I want that too darling, I want that too” he pulled you on top of his lap and hugged you tightly, he hid himself between the crook of your neck because he didn’t want you to see how weak he felt in that moment

“Think of me like a pet when I’m gone”

“Don’t say that darling pleaseee”

“I’m serious, you can move on when I’m gone, you can find another lover, maybe someone immortal this time so you won’t have to lose her so soon? Just because you would find someone else, that doesn’t mean I was any less important to you, I’d still be your Little mortal and I’ll always be your favorite mortal” he knew you were trying to make him feel better and hopeful about the future, but your words only hurt him further, he didn’t want to cry standing at your grave sixty years from now. He didn’t want to lose you like that. Once you die, he’d never be able to hold you like this and the fear crushed him.

“You are my favorite darling, not just my favorite mortal but you are my favorite everything and I don’t want to lose you”

“You won’t, I’m here, live in the moment with me Loki, let’s just live and love each other, let’s make beautiful memories. You deserve to be happy, you deserve affection and love more than anyone else, and I want to drown you in it, I want to make you so happy”

You pressed your forehead against his hoping that he would choose to live in the present instead of worrying about the future, who knows what will happen ten years from now. Maybe things will change, maybe he’d fall out of love and it’d kill you to lose his affection like that but then you can’t let that fear stop you from enjoying the next few years of bliss. You never thought you’d find someone like him to call your own and now that you had him you weren’t ready to lose him at any cost or for any reason

“I wanted to give you everything you have never had, treat you the way you deserve to be treated, I promised you all that and more but I failed” you shook your head and made him look at you again.

“You didn’t fail, you never did and you already give me more than I could have imagined, just being here with you is my dream life, I never thought I’d find a man so loving, so thoughtful, a man who’d respect me enough to not hurt me, I got more than what I was looking for, and no matter what happens i’d always worship you my god because that’s who you are to me”

He looked at you all wide eyed and perplexed, maybe it was his Karma, he always thought of mortals as inferior beings, those who didn’t deserve any importance, and that’s why fate brought him to you so he’d fall for a mortal and get his comeuppance when your life would end right in front of his eyes. But he can’t hurt you anymore, you have been hurt all your life and he wants to change that, he wants to give you a happy life. You kissed his forehead and got off his lap

“Let me just call Charlotte, I hope she’s alright”

He perched himself on his elbow. You care so much, not just about him but everyone who shows you the slightest of affection. He would never meet someone as pure as his little mortal. His heart would break once in a while whenever the fear of losing you would overwhelm him but he knew that’s the burden he’d have to bear for you.

“So my brother and her were getting real chummy out there or I imagined it?” You giggled as he said that

“She’s having the best time of her life” you laid down on the bed next to him, on your front situating yourself on both of your elbows

“How’s your job going? Anyone bothering you?” he asked you as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ears and kissed your forehead

“Noo” you leaned forward to kiss him and then you got on top of him, he couldn’t have that for long so he flipped you over quickly. You took his jacket off and the t shirt followed, god you have been wanting to touch his bare skin since you got here, it’s been months since you got to have him rubbing against you so intimately, you have missed every little thing, every sound he makes, every whisper of his voice

He didn’t take your dress off, he just pulled your dress over your thighs and took your panties off, you unbuttoned his pants and he was hard already. He pulled the straps down and your bare breasts drove him even more wild.

“You are ethereal, have I ever told you that?” You bit on your lips at the compliment while his lips suckled on your nipples one by one. He looked up at you and the flashes from that night clouded his eyes again, he froze, he couldn’t move, he tried to get off you but you didn’t allow him to

“Hey hey look at me, look into my eyes loki please” you cupped his cheeks and his tears dripped down on your face “I’m safe here with you, you’d never hurt me, never ever”

“How do you know? How am I different from those men that hurt you before?” You felt offended not because of him but for him, how dare he compare your god to worms like those men

“Those men never asked questions like that because they didn’t care whether they were hurting me, that is reason enough for me, don’t you ever compare yourself with those evil men again”

You wiped his eyes and pecked on his lips, wrapping your legs around his waist you pushed his cock inside you slowly, he moaned as he felt your walls clenching around him, it’s been a long time, he placed his head down on your breasts as he pumped in and out of you slowly

“I have missed you darling, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

“I know I know..I have missed you inside me too, every night I craved you my god and I wanted to go down on my knees and pray to you but I was afraid you won’t answer me”

He just shook his head in response, he placed his arms around your head and kissed you again, his tongue played with yours while his hips continued to thrust in and out of you. “I love you princess” your eyes teared up, you couldn’t believe your ears. He knew he had to say it even though what he felt for you surpassed something as frivolous as the word love to him, because he didn’t just love you anymore, he worshiped the ground you walked on. But he knew you had been longing to hear it from him and he was going to give you everything.

“You love me?” You smiled and a moan escaped your lips as his cock brushed that sweet nerve Inside you

“Love you, yes, I love you darling and I’ll always love you”

When he finally came, he had you moaning and whimpering under him, it was the most emotionally satisfying sex of his life, the euphoria he felt as he looked into your eyes during both of your orgasms was unmatchable, it fired up every little inch of his skin and he felt it deep in his soul. That void inside him was filled again.

Once he calmed down he grabbed you in his arms and you showered with him, the cold water snapped you out of the bliss for a moment

“I’m sorry, I cannot handle warm water, let me fix it”

“It’s fine loki, just hold me” you held him as tightly as you could and you didn’t hate how cold it was around you, the temperature of his body along with water felt soothing in a way. You wondered how he looked in his natural form, he took another step forward today. He shared his fear and he was trying to move on from that incident. If things were to be like this you knew you’d see him all blue and big soon.

“Do you want to stay the night with me darling?”

“I want to stay all the nights with you” and he smiled genuinely, he seemed happy. That made you happy. He dressed you up in his clothes and you felt as if you were drowning in it but he found it really adorable.

“So if I wouldn’t have come here today, would you just let me go?”

You asked him as you fixed the bed and he rubbed his palm over his neck, from nervousness and guilt as well

“Noo, I wanted to get back to you every moment, I just .. didn’t think I deserved your affection, not even a smidgen of it”

Your eyes teared up as you noticed the sadness and hopelessness in his voice. You laid him down on the bed and got on top of him, he hasn’t been sleeping well and you haven’t been sleeping either, that was going to change tonight.

Didn’t take you both long enough to doze off, he was happy and content having you back in his arms. He has dreamt about this night since the day you left.

But then you woke up to him shivering and shaking, mumbling an apology over and over again, you knew he was thinking about that night again. The nightmares kept reminding him of the abuse he had forced upon you, you forgave him but he didn’t. And you knew it’d take some time for him to move on from that.

So you woke him up gently, wiped the sweat off his skin with your hands, and doused him in soft kisses all over his face until his breathing calmed down

“You’re okay baby, you’re safe, and I’m safe with you, you won’t hurt me I promise” you whispered in his ears softly

“I’m sorry..I’m so sorry” tears filled his eyes, his breathing remained shallow

“Noo no, don’t apologize, everything is okay now, we will get better okay? Go back to sleep”

He has never been so vulnerable in his life, even when he was he had no one to place the balm over his wounds, but now he had you. And the thought overwhelmed him again, he’d get used to you taking care of him like this and then someday you’ll leave him. Then he’ll be all alone again, without his princess to comfort him. The thought hurt him deeply, but there was nothing he could have done about it. So he wrapped his arms around you tightly and allowed himself to feel grateful and happy for this moment that he had you.

And he hoped that these moments and the memories of you will be enough for him to get by when you’re gone.

When you leave him forever.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Build me Up, Break me Down (Loki x Female Reader)

Read chapter 30 here// Series Masterlist

Chapter 31

Summary : Two months pass and you meet loki again at Bruce’s birthday party. Resisting you is harder than he thought it to be

Warning : The usual, 18+ , Some smut, mention of past abuse (if you have gone this far into the series you know what to expect)

• Note : This chapter reminded me of lisik

ALT

“Should I go with this black fit dress or this blue one, the blue one reminds me of something grandma used to wear” Charlotte chuckled as she looked at you.

“Go with black, it’s strappy and sexy and you know who’s going to be there” she winked at you and you sighed. It’s been two months, a whole two months since you last saw him, when you proudly stepped out of his room announcing that you’d get him back. Now that you look back at that moment, you feel kind of silly for telling something like that to a god.

You remember the first few days that you spent in your bed, feeling lifeless and staring at the ceiling, you didn’t think you’d survive this heartbreak.

You didn’t try to get in touch with him, you remembered what Bruce said, he needed to heal, and so did you.

You knew Loki would never hurt you like that but that doesn’t mean what happened that night wasn’t traumatising, you couldn’t understand how you always end up in a situation like that. But as hard as it was for you, it was worse for him.

If you’d have done something like that to him you won’t be able to forgive yourself either. He took pride in being that one man you felt safe with, now he thinks he has taken it away from you, but that wasn’t true, you’d always feel safe with him. He was your Loki.

“What are you wearing?” You asked her and her eyes widened

“You want to take me to hulk’s birthday party at avengers tower?” She asked you and you smiled

“First of all do not call him Hulk, he doesn’t like that, secondly he said I can bring a friend and you’re the only one, I still don’t know why I’m invited, I have talked to him like five times since he treated me” She squealed and jumped up and down, her excitement excited you as well

“Oh my god okay I need to find a dress let me see”

A month ago Charlotte was evicted from her apartment so she needed a place to stay. You had a perfect spare room, it was Loki’s idea to get two bedrooms so whenever you two got into an argument he could go there to cool down and relax. He wanted to be around you all the time but he didn’t want to hurt you whenever he got angry. You still got his share of rent from him, you always felt him around you when you walked to work but maybe it was your desperation to see him that made you feel that way.

It was easy to pretend to be alright in front of her or everyone else, but at night when you crawled into your bed all alone and without him by your side you could only cry, you always cried yourself to sleep.

…..

“I’m not coming, tell him that I sent my apologies” Loki stormed out after his training session, Thor was right about losing his brother again, he hadn’t seen Loki smiling in the last two months, since you left he just seemed like a robot working on an autopilot mode.

“Loki it’s his birthday, things have been getting good between you and other avengers, don’t ruin it. Just stay for an hour and then you can go back to sulking in your room” Loki glared at him as he said that

“I do not sulk, what’s with the bags?” Thor shoved all the bags in his hands as soon as Loki finished his words

“New clothes, midgardians tend to change their clothing every now and then, you must try new clothes” Loki rolled his eyes as he stepped inside the room, the bags were thrown in the corner of the room as he made his way to get showered.

He missed you, every little thing you did, he has missed it all. That day after you stormed out on him, he didn’t get in touch with you and he was thankful that you didn’t either, but that didn’t make it any easier for him to go on with what he has done to you and go on without you. He missed his sweet angel mortal in his life, everyday he woke up feeling hollow, and as the day proceeded that void inside him only got bigger and deeper, the only relief he got was when he slept at night and dreamt about you, he was lucky enough to see you, hold you and touch you or when sometimes he followed you to work to make sure nobody out there was bothering you.

He heard your cries at night, that’s when you let the walls down and allowed him to get in, he was linked with you, he wanted to keep you close, but hearing your cries only wounded him, knowing far too well that he was the reason for your misery killed him everyday.

On those nights when he wasn’t fortunate enough to dream about you, he re-lived that night he ruined you over and over again, same nightmare every time and it was a projection of his own memory, he always woke up crying and shuddering for hurting his princess like that. How could he do that to you after everything you have been through? Why wasn’t he strong enough to resist Thanos?

…..

You got ready and looked at yourself in the mirror, the dress was Charlotte’s idea, it was fitting all your curves, and showing heck a lot of cleavage but you have seen the kind of dress people at the tower wore at such parties, you still felt pretty decent

“You look so sexy, Mr hottie better pull you aside and give you much needed loving” your face flushed as you thought about Mr hottie, you haven’t tried to talk to him but that doesn’t mean you haven’t been keeping a tab on him.

You called Thor once every few days to check up on him, in the beginning Loki was not getting better, then Thor started to take care of his meals and made sure he got proper sleep at night. You just wanted him to feel okay again, and then you wanted him to get back to you.

“Thank you, you look gorgeous too” you smiled as you looked at her. She had a gorgeous red dress on that made her look like a movie star, she had that hollywood classic features that actresses like Grace Kelly used to have

“Really? You think Thor would look at me twice?” You smiled as she said that.

“Well he sure would, he broke up with Jane so he’s single and ready to mingle”

“Awesome”

To be frank you weren’t too upset about Jane being gone, she never seemed to respect Loki and held a grudge for something even Thor didn’t care about anymore. She just didn’t like Loki and that was enough for you to hate her.

When you reached the tower you took a deep breath, it’s been a while and there were several memories from worst to better to worst again. As you made your way through security, you spotted Happy Hogan, the head of security

“Sir happy, how are you?” You asked him and he just gave you his usual grumpy look

“I am good, how are you y/n?”

“I’m good, invited to hulk’s birthday and ummm I don’t know why but I have an evite to show for it which I’ll show you in a second if I can find it on my phone..just a second” you blabbed nervously and he shook his head

“No need, get up there and enjoy” he told you and Charlotte gave him a smile, you sighed as you both got in elevator

“Wow that was embarrassing for you”

“I got nervous”

“Don’t get nervous in front of Loki, get sexy, make him realise that he’s missing all that hot bod” you giggled as she said that. Your heart was running a mile per second as you thought about seeing him again, would he even look at you? Did he forget you? Did he move on with someone else? There were several questions and no answers.

When you reached the venue you greeted Natasha and Steve. Then you finally found Bruce and wished him a happy birthday.

“This is my friend Charlotte, we work together and live together”

You introduced her to everyone you met, you saw Penny there too and your heart broke. Why was she there? Was she there with him? For him? The anxiety rose more and more in the pit of your stomach, but as she walked over to you, you smiled

“Hi y/n how are you?”

“I’m fine, how are you, penny?” You didn’t want to come across as rude, it wasn’t her fault that you felt insecure about her past with Loki and if he really did get back together with her, there’s nothing you could do about it

“I’m good now, thanks to Loki” and your heart broke again, what did she mean?

“Thanks to Loki?” Your eyes teared up and her eyes widened

“Oh no not like that, I’m sorry, I just..you know what he did for me few months ago, that’s what I meant”

You took a deep breath, relief surged through your veins

“I’m sorry you had to go through something so awful”

“Thank you, you should go see him, he hasn’t been well lately” you looked at her as she said that. So they weren’t together right?

You got relaxed around her and Charlotte was enjoying the party then finally the one man she wanted to meet walked towards you two

“Oh my god he’s coming towards us, he’s hotter than the sun”

“Okay shhh Calm down” you glared at her

“Okay phewww” you smiled as Thor got closer

“Lady y/n it’s so good to see you again” he kissed the back of your hand like a gentleman and then he looked at Charlotte

“This is my roommate Charlotte”

“Charlotte? That’s a beautiful midgardian name for a beautiful lady” he took her hand in his and she almost fainted.

“Lady y/n can you do me a favor?”

“Sure what is it?” You asked him and he gave you a box

“New shoes for Loki, can you just give him that for me, he must be getting ready still” you looked at him shocked and then you grabbed the box

“Sure yeah um.. yeah I’ll give it to him”

You mumbled nervously

“I assume you remember your way to his chamber”

You smiled as you made your way towards his room, you felt nervous, shaky and your eyes teared up as you thought about seeing his face after so long. What if he doesn’t want to see you or talk to you, what if he’s mean again? Well you could always give him puppy eyes and that would probably work. You knocked on the door twice and then he opened it, he looked like a mess, but a hot mess, he had a black tshirt on paired with a trouser. His eyes teared up as he looked at you

“Y/n?” He called out to you and you smiled

“Gift from Thor” you showed him the shoe box and he took it from you

“Come in” you bit on your lips as you stepped inside. He looked at you up and down, that dress looked sinful on you, he had never seen you dress so sexily before, if he was still your man that dress would end up on the floor right now

You sat down on his bed and you could see the bundle of clothes he had on them

“I just couldn’t figure out what to wear, I’m so confused” you smiled as he said that

“I’ll choose a pair for you” you stood up and looked at the option, the clothes were new you could tell, they still had the tags on

“How come you are here?” He asked you but you didn’t look at him, you were busy choosing a perfect attire for him

“Bruce invited me, we stay in touch” his jaw clenched and nose flared as you said that, what do you mean you stay in touch. He felt jealous, so jealous but you don’t belong to him anymore.

“I’ll get showered” he grabbed a towel and as soon as he got Inside you let out the breath you were holding in. You chose a dark green jacket with white shirt underneath and a black fitted pants, you folded the rest of the clothes and kept it in his closet, your eyes glanced towards his old clothes so you took out an old shirt of him and wrapped it around your body. The shirts you had of him at home were losing his essence. You quickly put it back inside before he would come out and see you acting like a creep.

He stepped out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist and that made you feel flushed so you turned around while he changed

“How are you y/n?”

“I’m okay, you?”

“Alright”

Once he dressed up you turned around again

“You look handsome” he smiled a little as you complimented him. He sat down on the bed to put the socks and the shoes on, but shoes had their laces out and he was so confused. You walked closer to him and got on your knees so you could help him with it. You placed his feet on your thighs and worked the lace, now all he could think about was the conversation he had with you on the couch in your family’s house, your hair kept coming in the way so you pushed them behind you.

His eyes were stuck to your submissive form and the clear view of that flesh you were showing off for him, he was tempted to pull you on top of him and suck several marks on your exposed cleavage. Once you were done with the one shoe you moved onto another, you looked up at him innocently and he was just staring at you with those pretty eyes of his, you could see several emotions flickering through them. Lust, longing, craving, love, that was your Loki. And he was aroused, you could tell. You still affected him and he still cared about you. That was a relief

“All done” you mumbled and stood up,

“Thank you darling” Oh how you have longed to hear that from him

“I’ll see you at the party” you turned around and left, there was a smile on your face that he couldn’t see.

You went back to the party and enjoyed a drink or two, you didn’t go talk to him again, you wanted him to come to you, but he was just staring at you while he sat at the bar drinking. Charlotte and Thor were dancing together, and you smiled as you looked at her. She sent you a filthy gesture with her hands that she was going to suck his cock later. Well You didn’t have to know that

When Thor went to the bar to grab a drink for Char he noticed Loki just glancing at you ever so often

“Go talk to her” Loki shrugged and shook his head

“Nothing has changed, everything is still the same, I’m still the man that destroyed her”

“You know that’s not true and you know that’s not how she feels,

Thor sighed and he went back to Charlotte, Loki wanted to do more than just talk with you but he can’t put your life in danger again. He turned around to get another drink and when he looked back he didn’t find you, he looked around but he couldn’t find you. That worried him. So he stepped out of the lounge quickly and he watched you heading towards the kitchen, he shouldn’t have followed you. He wasn’t strong enough to control himself from touching you if he did, but he couldn’t stop himself either.

He found you ransacking the refrigerator, you were probably looking for a snack or something but then you took out a popsicle and leaned yourself against the refrigerator as you sucked on it. It reminded you of him, that’s how he tasted, cold, hard, flavorsome. He couldn’t stop staring at you as you sucked on that phallus looking ice treat like that. You have always been a little minx and you must have known that he’d follow you

"I know you are there” he smiled when he heard you, once you were satisfied you threw the rest of the popsicle in the sink and washed your hand, he stepped inside the kitchen and walked closer to you

“Are you not afraid of being alone with me darling?” His eyes teared up as he spoke, so did yours, the pain might have subsided but the guilt didn’t lessen. He was still haunted by that night

“Afraid of my god? Never” you walked closer to him and your fingers latched onto his jacket as you pulled him closer, you looked up at him, your lips were so close to each other, he wanted to kiss you and so did you, but both of you were controlling the urge because there were several things that needed to be talked about. He never gave you the chance to talk,

“I’m not your god anymore” he whispered and your eyes teared up more

“You don’t get to decide that, I do, I choose my god and I only know one” you pressed a kiss on his chin and he moaned. Your hands sneaked inside his jacket and you grabbed the back of his neck, he shuddered as felt your nails grazing over his nape

“Where was your god that night? Hmm? Where was he when a monster like me hurt you like that, what is he going to do with me? How would he ever get justice for that?” You felt his pain as he spoke, he was hurting himself every moment for something that wasn’t in his control

“You think this isn’t punishment enough? This distance between us is worse than any punishment” you sucked on his lower lip and that was it, he wasn’t strong enough.

He picked you up and made you sit down on the counter, his hands cupped your cheeks as he kissed you feverishly, your lips felt cold, plump, wet and he was so turned on by that, you clutched onto his jacket and pulled him closer to you wrapping your legs around his waist.

“We need to stop darling, this can’t happen” you looked up at him, he looked tormented and you knew he was thinking about that night

“Do you miss me?” His eyes welled up more

“Why wouldn’t I miss you darling? I have been barely hanging on a thread without you” you wrapped your one arm around his neck and pressed your nose against the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent, god you have missed that more than anything. Your other hand wandered down and you rubbed his bulge over his pants earning a loud breathy moan. He latched his lips on your neck and you threw your head back to give him more space, you both have been starving without each other in the past two months. You pulled the zipper down and he wasn’t wearing a brief underneath so you pulled his cock out to stroke him

“Darling you have to stop” his mouth said something but he wasn’t showing any resistance with his actions

“Make me stop then” you stroked his cock up and down and he was so hard in your fist, every vain in his cock was pulsating with your touch,

“I can’t ..I’m not strong enough to push you away when you get like this, I never was” he pulled you closer and his tongue licked a swipe between the valley of your breasts. You wiped his precum off the tip of his cock and then you looked at him as you sucked your finger in, moaning at his taste.

He was just so entranced by your sexuality, he could never get enough of you he knew that, but then the guilt swooped in again so he took a step back, used his magic to calm himself down and zipped himself up, he placed his arms on the counter next to you so he could get his breathing under control

“I can not keep you safe, I tried and failed, you deserve a man who can keep you safe”

You stepped off the counter as he said that, you hugged him from behind and then you pressed soft kisses on his back before you stepped away

“My safety shouldn’t be your responsibility Loki, if I’m not safe with you, then I’m not safe anywhere and with anybody”

He turned around to look at you

“But I failed you so terribly, how can you even look at me with such adoration after what I did?” You smiled and grabbed his hands in yours

“Because it wasn’t you Loki. It wasn’t you that night, you’re not listening to me. How could I be mad at you for something that hurt you too, that crushed you more than it crushed me? you know what would have been worse? Thanos sending someone else to hurt me, for what it’s worth I’m glad it was your body on top of me that night instead of someone else”

Then you turned around to leave. He wished it was as easy for him to forgive himself the way you forgave him so easily. He didn’t want to lose you but he was afraid of losing you forever. Not just to seperation, but to death. He could have easily killed you that night.

At the end, you’re just a mortal After All and he had several decisions to make for both of you.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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