#loki laufeyson scenario

pairing: loki x poc!reader (gender neutral)
genre:fluff
word count: 2.5k+
warnings: racial discrimination, murderous thoughts (?), i honestly don’t remember if there are swears in this one but it’s me so better safe than sorry
summary: Loki has struggled to grasp midgardian racial discrimination but through y/n, he slowly and surely comes to understand it. And hate it.

a/n: I’ve been putting this one off for so long and I actually cried while writing this… it really just got to me idek anymore. Based off of some of my experiences (yes someone said that to me on the northern line even though i speak better English than him). uhhhhhh this kinda counts as avenger!reader  too i guess. and i know i said i write for black readers but i had to do sth for out nbpoc brethren, this fic felt like it was the one to do it with.

Your name: submit What is this?

Loki always listened intently whenever you spoke of the things you had gone through; his blood boiling every time you recalled someone underestimating you, taunting you, insulting you, simply because of the colour of your skin. He often wondered why midgardians were so fixated on outward appearances. Back on Asgard, nobody really cared what colour your skin was— an asgardian was an asgardian and every asgardian was built with the same matter, had the same blood coursing through their veins.

So, when you and Loki had initially started dating and you had warned about the looks the two of you might receive and the words he may overhear, he had been confused. He could not understand why you would be so worried about what people will think of the two of you, of your relationship. Loki thought you were simply embarrassed to be seen with him, that you were looking for excuses and he stupidly voiced these thoughts. A grimace etched on his face as he spat that you were simply ashamed of him, ashamed of being seen with a jotunn.

He recalled you leaning back, your expression clouded in disbelief as you remained silent and he had thought this is it, they’re definitely leaving now but then you spoke quietly, voice calm. Loki would never forget the words you said first, “I’m going to take my time to respond to you because I want to choose my words carefully, this doesn’t need to be a fight and right now, every inch of my body wants to shout at you and I’m a few seconds away from doing something I might regret later,” you’d said, walking past him and exiting the room. You returned several hours later, knocking feintly on the door before coming in and you sat him down, explaining what you had meant, trying to help him understand where you were coming from. You got up to leave and he asked you to say but you gave him a soft smile, “I’m still mad at you for talking to me the way you did,” you called behind you as you exited.

Loki had never been one for apologies but he found himself restless, unable to sleep. He needed to apologise, the thought of you being upset with him weighed down on him with such vigour he felt he might suffocate.

You and Loki didn’t go on dates at first, at least not ones that would take place outside the walls of the avengers compound. So, when he posited the idea you were shocked, you’d wanted to go out to many restaurants but had understood that it wasn’t exactly Loki’s scene. He’d noticed the growing lists of places you wanted to go to, the spark of excitement in your eyes when you discovered a new cafe— he’d also noticed how quick you were to hide your new finds, quickly realising it was because you didn’t want to pressure him. How he wished you knew he was willing to do almost anything for you.

“We should go out for dinner,” he said, eyes never leaving the book he was reading. You almost gave yourself whiplash turning to look at him.

“Do you have anywhere in mind?” You asked, suddenly giddy.

“I was hoping you’d choose, actually.”

You look at the time and get off the bed with a start, rushing to gather your things, tripping over your own feet as you struggle to change out of your shorts. Loki can only smile at your antics.

It’s at the restaurant that Loki understands what you were talking about and though he’s so happy to be there with you, he can’t help the anger that builds up within him, hand-in-hand with his sudden comprehension.

The couple adjacent to you keeps smiling at the two of you and both of you pick up on their conversation about the recent royal wedding, talking about how amazing it is they can overcome their race. Loki doesn’t think you hear them, though he’s not sure how you can’t because the pair are putting on this how for the two of you. He sees you roll your eyes when they begin to discuss Americanah and quote lines, though you can quite clearly see one of them scrolling through an article o the very book they’re quoting.

He sees you open your mouth to say something but his hand reaches for your own across the table and you take it, eyes locking with his as he wills you to not say anything because you both know it could easily escalate. You smile softly and Loki begins to talk to you in an attempt to distract you. Your food arrives and soon you’ve forgotten about what had been conspiring next to you.

Loki watches you fondly as you dance in your seat, humming a familiar tune as you take your first bite. He’s so sure he’s well on his way to being so in love with you, it might consume him.

You go to the toilet while Loki settles the bill and when you return, you notice that the couple that was once dining comfortably are now so rigid and mute that you can’t help but allow your gaze to travel to your boyfriend, your brow quirking as he takes your hand to lead you out.

You don’t bother to ask because you’re pretty sure you’ve already figured it out.

Admittedly, you were used to it, you had acclimatised to the stolen glances, gotten used to the scowls. Instead, you held your head high, straightened up your back and walked with a little more confidence, hips swaying more enthusiastically than usual; all in an attempt to show just how unbothered you were. Loki was just here to see it now but to him it felt like he was the cause of these problems.

Loki was used to being treated like a burden but with you it seemed the only one treating him like a burden… Was he, himself. He’d asked you once, why you hadn’t left him since he was making your life more difficult. At this you laughed and he braced himself, waiting for the words he’d been dreading the moment he’d courted you but they never came. Instead, you cradled his face in your hands and told him that nobody’s opinion on the two of you could change the way you felt about him, none of their petty thoughts would stop the love you had for him, none of them could even try.

Loki had never been good at reciprocating feelings, the only kindness and warmth he’d ever truly accepted wholeheartedly was that of Frigga. He admits that he is the reason him and Thor’s relationship feels so strained at times, not for his brother’s lack of effort but for his own shortcomings. However, when you hold him in your arms like that, look into his eyes like you are peering into his soul, like he is your whole world; he can’t help the way his heart beats roughly against his chest, the way he leans into your touch.

In this moment, Loki realises he is so, undoubtedly in love with you.

Loki always listened intently to the stories you told him of your childhood— some good, some bad. He was there when you scrolled through social media, finding new stories about a child bullied and a man incarcerated, both on the basis of ethnicity. Loki had been there when you cried yourself to sleep in his arms, the video of a group of white children shouting “You’re not white!” at a little boy as his mother walked him towards another end of the playground, just trying to allow him to play. Loki’s heart broke for you because he felt your body against his, as your sobs turned into whimpers, shivers racking through your body as you struggled to breathe.

Loki had seen you unravel, seen your seems split as you asked why such a child should have to go through such a terrible experience.

Why did Midgardians place such value on the colour of one’s skin? Loki couldn’t understand.

A few hours later and he’s watching as you sit at kitchen island with Sam and Steve, laughing among yourselves as you told them how you had made Tony spill his iced coffee on himself a few minutes ago. He smiles fondly, eyes tracking your hands as they move animatedly throughout the whole narration.

When the day comes to an end, you walk to your room groggily, regretting the decision to read ‘one last chapter’ because that one chapter subsequently turned into six. You barely registered the figure that was already in your bed until it is wrapping its arms around you, causing you to sit up with a start.

“Loki, don’t do that,” you sigh, sliding back into his arms. A hum of approval leaving your lips as you lay your head on his chest, his cold fingers dancing across your back. He feels you smile against him, placing a kiss on his chest and snuggling closer into his side.

He had wanted to bring pain and suffering to the people of Midgard and he had abandoned those desires long ago but sometimes he looked at you and realised he’d do anything to keep you happy, kill anybody that came in the way of your happiness.

It’s when you’re away on a mission with Natasha that he finally has an epiphany.

Loki’s days are now so consumed with you that in your absence he feels misplaced, he gets by though, reading books and sometimes pulling harmless pranks on the rest of the avengers living in the compound.

He’s in front of the mirror when it happens, drying his hair with a towel as he readies himself for the day. He doesn’t know what exactly ignites the thought but he’s looking into the eyes of his reflection and all at once it comes to him. He remembers how much he hated himself after discovering he was a jotunn, how he had wished to have never been born, how much he grew to despise his existence. He thinks about how it was the words he heard growing up, that jotunns were lesser beings, were despicable, unlovable, those words that made him want to throw up whenever he looked at his reflection after finding out his truth.

He thinks back to how he saw midgardians as inferior, how he had treated you, treated the avengers… Anyone that wasn’t Asgardian really. Humans weren’t the only ones focused on appearances and social status and all of the things he’d believed only plagued inferior races, no, it was universal.

Loki, doesn’t tell you of this revelation when you do return but you do take notice of it because the next time you’re on a tirade about how people just can’t let yours have anything, his reply isn’t his usual nod and soothing words but instead a comment on how it’s reproduced generation to generation in a vicious cycle.

You’re on the subway, heading back home after one of Peter’s decathlon thingies, you’re beyond tired, it’s way past late seeing as Tony took it upon himself to have a dinner after and stay even after Peter and his friends left; their curfews looming upon them. It was fun in the moment, laughing with Sam and Clint, making fun of Tony and teasing Bucky. Loki’s hand not once leaving your body, either on your thigh or locking your fingers together. You ended up switching seats with Thor because the longer the dinner went on, the more bold Loki’s gestures became, too bold for public.

Now, you were on the subway, head resting on your boyfriend’s shoulder, giggling as he recounted the dinner from his perspective. The nicknames and exaggerations filling your sleep addled mind with humour. When he finishes, a comfortable silence settles  and you sigh in content.

The seats are empty, except for you and Loki, there are only two other men there. Your friends had left you at the subway station with plans of their own and it makes you wonder what kind of plans ancient relics like Steve and Bucky would have on Saturday night at 12 am. You would never think to be on this line, this late, you had no business doing such and you would have gotten off before you even got on if not for the arm secured around your waist, reassuring you that you would be okay because even if you had fought unspeakable evils in the past- some things were too efficiently socialised into you to forget.

You lazily claw at his blazer pocket, silently asking for your phone, which he has been forced to carry— along with your wallet and lip-balm because it would ‘ruin the fit’. He hands it to you, prompting to you to sit up as you unlock it to show him the pictures you’d secretly taken of him when he had been distracted in a conversation with his brother and bruce.

You almost scream when you notice a man sitting two seats over from you. When did he get there?

“Too bad you can’t speak English as well as you can use one of those, eh?” He asks, mockingly.

“Excuse me?” you reply, incredulously, unable to fully wrap your head around the situation.

“Go back to your country you motherfuckin—”

He never gets to finish his sentence because his body is flung onto the wall. You’re in shock because Loki never uses his telekinesis, deeming it primitive compared to his unrivalled intellect.

You feel his arm lose contact with your body as he stands up, eyes focused as he moves towards the man who is now shaking, stumbling over his words as he attempts to back away.

Loki always listened intently whenever you spoke of the things you had gone through, thinking of them as distant memories, forgetting it was still your reality. Loki is so, undoubtedly in love with you, he’d do anything to keep you happy, kill anybody that came in the way of your happiness.

He’s towering above the man now, a menacing look in his eyes as he speaks.

“I don’t know what makes you think you can take that tone and say such cruel words to the love of my life while I’m sat right there and I certainly don’t know what dastardly ideas have been planted in your head to make you feel as if you are better than people that don’t have the same skin colour as you or the same origin as you but today, I’ll teach you to respect people.”

You  don’t have to see Loki’s face to know he may do something drastic and it’s in that moment you realise he is willing to give up everything for you. You shut your eyes tight as you will yourself to stand up. You will not let him fight your battle for you, you cross the space between you swiftly and it’s then you see the dagger in his hands. You wrap your fingers around his arm, gently pushing him out of your way, he looks uncertain and reluctant but moves to stand behind you anyway.

You start off talking calmly and Loki doesn’t know when exactly you start shouting, he’s not paying attention. He is instead thinking of what he would have done had you not stepped in. Loki has learnt many things by going out with you and it seems that though you are his greatest strength, you are also his biggest weakness.