Its Been Awhile 

So Much For “I love you”-Part One

Summary: (Y/N) (Y/L/N) a girl that soon realized her world was about to come crashing down all because of a blue-eyed wolf…

(Y/N)= Your Name
(Y/L/N)= Your Last Name

Isaac Lahey x Reader

Requested: Yes (A long time ago, I might add)

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(Y/N) POV:

*Then*

“Isaac I can’t just leave. What about the pack, what about my family” I exclaim. He walks towards me a soft look evident on his face, he takes a hold of my hand and interlocks them together. I sigh and move away from leaving him confused.

“I know this is a lot to handle, Isaac. We’re all still hurting but you can’t expect me to up and go. I love you, Isaac, I do. But I can’t leave not now not ever” I explain.

“ (Y/N) I know you don’t wanna leave Scott, the pack, and your family. But you, Scott…Derek you three are the only family that I have left and I can’t watch you die in my arms, (Y/N). So please” Isaac pleads.

“Isaac…"I whisper. I take his hand and place it on my cheek comforting the distressed wolf.

“I’m not Allison… I miss her so much, she was always there for me whenever I needed her… I miss her, Isaac just as much as you do but I’m not her. I’m me…(Y/N) (Y/L/N), your girlfriend. She’s a human girl with a human family. That gets average grades and is hopelessly in love with a guy named Isaac freaking Lahey” I begin to say ever so softly. A tear escapes slowly streaming down my face.

“And if he loves me as much as I love him… He won’t leave me here alone, he won’t make me go somewhere I don’t want to go because if he truly loves me he’ll stay and fight beside me till we fall to the ground cause we were protecting someone that mattered” I continue to say.

“I can’t leave them here, my family is human, Isaac. They can’t fight like me, they can’t heal like you or Scott. So they need me to protect from whatever danger is coming their way because they matter to me” I finished. Tears were uncontrollably streaming down my face.

“And you matter to me… (Y/N) please don’t make me go without you” Isaac cries.

“Then don’t go” I respond.

“It’s not that simple (Y/N)” Isaac says.

“But me leaving my family is. What made you think that I was just going to leave my family, my friends, my hometown…I can’t, I don’t think I have the strength to leave” I reply. He looks at me in defeat, the look of desperation washes over his facial features.

“You mean everything to me, Isaac. And I love you to the moon and back but all of this is too much to ask an emotionally wrecked girl. I lost my best friend, I almost lost Stiles tonight I don’t wanna lose him again, he’s like a brother to me Isaac” I cry. I cup his face, everything slowly becomes drawn out as I look into the icy blue eyes.

“I’m sorry (Y/N) but I’m not going to stay here and watch you die” Isaac says. My heart breaks in two, I step away and turn around not wanting to see him.

I hear him pick his bag up off the ground. I try to block it out every little sound that he made. Everything was becoming too unbearable for my heart to handle.

“I guess this is goodbye” He says. I take a deep breath and wipe away the tears. I turn to face the boy I love, my arms folded loosely across my chest.

“I guess so” I say bluntly. He drops his bag and runs towards me, his hands on my hips and our lips connected as he kissed me goodbye. I push back and fold my arms once again looking at the floor.

“Please come with me” Isaac pleads once again.

“You know I can’t do that, Isaac. Scott, my parents, Lydia…. I can’t leave, Isaac. They mean too much to me” I reply.

“(Y/N)…” Isaac says. I turn away not wanting him to see me cry.

“Please, Isaac just go, your leaving me whether I come or not. So please make this easier for my heart and leave” I yell.

“But (Y/N)…” He says. I turn around once again to face him, my emotions suddenly all over the place.

“Isaac… go” I plead. He walks towards his bag and picks it up once again. He slowly closes the door behind his eyes never leaving mine. He abruptly stops and says one more thing.

“I love you” He says and shuts the door. I collapse onto the floor in tears, my body slowly starts to become weak as I continue to repeat the love of my life leaving me. I look up at the door and replay those three words in my mind.

“I love you too” I say….

*Now*

“Hey (Y/N)”

“Hello…”

I shake my head as the sound of a very familiar voice wakes me up. I turn to look at Scott and Stiles, one gives me a concerned look and the other one looks at me annoyed.

“What?”

“The plan remember” Stiles says. I roll my eyes and lay back onto the jeep.

“Look I’m glad I’m a part of your plan, Stiles. But I’m not even sure if I wanna go to college yet” I say. He gasps at my response cause both me and Scott to laugh. I sit upright and look at the boy beside me.

“Something is seriously wrong with her. Scott what does she smell like” Stiles says. I glare at him and stick my tongue out.

“She smells…-” Scott begins to say. He looks up at the sky thinking.

“Sad, Scott I’m sad. Thought you’d be used to it by now. It’s basically a common state for me” I answer.

“Whats wrong?” Scott’s ask concerned. I sigh and face the alpha next to me.

“I was thinking about the night Isaac left” I begin to say. Stiles looks at Scott with this I told you so look on his face causing me to glare at him.

“I keep asking myself what if, you know” I finish.

“Hey, you’ll be okay. My mum said to this to me when me and Allison broke up "They’re you’re first love everything will be amazing and exciting-” Scott begins to say but I cut him off.

“But you’ll end up finding someone else that’ll end up being just as amazing as the first” I finish.

“See you’re getting it” Scott says nudging me in the process. Stiles waves his arms in frustration causing both me and Scott to look at him.

“Dude the plan” Stiles says.

“Don’t worry Stiles you can have him back I’m gonna talk to little wolf anyway” I say. I jump off the jeep and walk towards a chained up Liam.

“(Y/N) you’re a part of the plan as well” Stiles yells behind me.

“Love you” I yell back casually . I stand beside Liam and look up at the sky.

“How you feeling?” I ask.

“I feel great by the way” Liam yells.

“He’s busy at the moment little wolf, Stiles is currently discussing the ‘plan’ aswe speak” I mock. Liam groans in annoyance and rests his head on the tree stump.

“Ughhhh it was only one time I seriously don’t know why I’m even here” he exclaims annoyed. I roll my eyes thinking about all the other times he’s done something stupid during the full moon.

“You sure about that” I reply with giggling. His face turns red in embarrassment as he start looking up at the the stars. I join him in this little activity thinking about the times where me and Isaac would do the same.

“The stars are quiet beautiful tonight, they just sit up there slowly burning throughout the night peacefully and without a care in the world. You know Me and Isaac use to do this all the time it was my favou-” I start to say without thinking. My eyes go wide as I fully process what I just said.

“Isaac?” Liam says while looking at me intrigued.

“Ahhhhh it’s nothing don’t worry about it little wolf, You know what I’ll meet you in the jeep” I say. I quickly walk towards the jeep and get inside. I lean back against the chair slowly sliding down my mind is filled with thoughts.

“What did he do?” Stiles asks as he walks up to the door.

“Nothing, Stiles. He done nothing” I reply.

“Then why do you look like you’re about to cry” he says.

“Seriously stiles don’t worry about it okay I’ll be fine” I say.

“Pfffft a nd I have a six pack with biceps the size of your head. Now come on, whats wrongs” Stiles says. I laugh at his reply and sit up in my chair.

“If you really wanna know I started thinking about my time with Isaac okay and how we’d use to look at the stars, see I told you it was nothing okay” I reply.

“Look you need to talk about him whether it’d be with me, Scott or Lydia but you need to talk about him (Y/N)” he says. I nod my head and usher him out the jeep. I lean back into the seat and close my eyes thinking about what Stiles had just said.

After a while, I get out of the jeep and sit next to Scott. They both look at me concerned looks plastered onto their face.

“I thought about what you said and you’re right. I need to talk about him so why not do it now” I say. They both send me small smiles.

“Where do I begin. Isaac was my first everything, my first love, my first kiss etcetera, etcetera. And I loved him so much… He was there for me when you were the nogitsune, Stiles” I begin to say. Scott puts his arm around my shoulders in order to comfort me.

“Things were great you know. I even saw a future with him, then everything turned sour when Ali died. She was the glue that held everything together. I didn’t know what to do after that and neither did Isaac or that’s what I thought. When he asked me to go with him I was surprised. Deep down I wanted to jump into his arms and scream yes at the top of my lungs but then I thought about you two, my family, Lydia… the pack. I begged him to stay, I begged and I begged but just like that he was gone and I was standing there cold and alone. I tried so hard to forget about him but all I do is end up missing him even more it’s like I’m going crazy and I haven’t figured out how to get over it” I finish. By this point, I was balling my eyes out. Scott was hugging me, rocking side to side as the night continues to tick away

“No matter what (Y/N) you’ve always got us okay” Scott says with a stupid grin on his face. I laugh lightly and hug them both.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you two, seriously” I say. I let go of the hug and chat to them for a little while as some time passes stiles begins to say something.

“Hey you think it’s been long enough” Stiles says referring to the chained up wolf.

“Yes” Liam yells. We all walk towards the little wolf, Scott puts his hand into his pocket and begins to take the keys out.

“Are you sure you’re okay” Scott asks.

“Yes, I’m fine” Liam replies.

“Well if we see your naked butt running around town again I’ll be dragging you here myself little wolf” I say with my brows raised slightly.

“I said I was hot” Liam replies.

“Yes well my grandparent didn’t appreciate seeing a particularly naked young boy running outside my house at two in the morning. Now let’s get going we got things to do”

*skip rest of car ride*

Me, Scott, Malia and Stiles finally make it to the school. We wait for Kira as she was the only one that wasn’t here.

“I’m going to get her” Scott says.

“How are you going to go through all the traffic” Stiles asks.

“I have a way. You guys go to the library, I’ll go back home and get my bike” Scott’s says. We nod our head and wave bye to Scott.

“You guys go ahead I need to do something that I haven’t been able to do in a long time” I say. I play with the necklace Isaac gave me for our anniversary.

“Oh hell no. Do you really think I’m gonna-” Stiles begins to say but Malia cuts him off.

“We’ll meet you at the front of the school” Malia says. Stiles begins to protest but Malia motions her hands to the necklace. Stiles looks at it and then finally understands what I meant. They both walk away, I smile a little as they both remind me of the relationship I had with Isaac.

I walk towards the lacrosse field, my hair and clothes drenched in water. I stand there, the necklace firmly in my hand as I begin to think about the memories we made together. After a while, I look at the necklace a tear slides down my face.

“I love you and I let you go, Isaac Lahey”I throw the necklace far away. My heart finally feeling at peace. I turn around and come face to face with a man.

“You look a lot like the girl in the photo” he says. I move away from him my heart racing. I look at his hands and see long claw protruding from his fingers.

“What are you?” I ask.

“Someone wanting to know where Scott McCall is” he says. I try to run past him but he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him, he then puts his claws up to my throat.

“Look I don’t know where he is okay” I say. 

“Now that’s a lie isn’t it” He says. He digs his claws into my throat causing me to flinch. 

“You won’t find him and even if you do you won’t even know what hit you” I say threatening. He chuckles and leans into my neck. 

“Oh, naive little girl… just you wait and see” He whispers into my ear. We walk to the tunnel that we were under before Scott went to pick Kira up. Coincidentally both Scott and Kira were there. He growls causing the both of them to look in our direction. He pushes me out of the rain, his claws digging into my lower back. 

“Hey, Kira. How was the trip?” I say trying to lighten the mood. The strange man pushes me to the side and runs at Scott and Kira. Everyone begins fighting, Kira takes out her sword while Scott takes out his claws. I crack the bone in my neck and get ready to fight.

“How cute. You all think you can actually beat me” He says. I raise my brow and pull my knives out. 

“Of course we can. Afterall your just another one of our useless obstacles” I say. 

I run up and attack, he dodges some of my advance causing me to attack him even more. He grabs my arms and kicks me in the stomach making me fall to the ground in pain. Scott and Kira then proceed to fight him, he pushes Scott to the side leaving Kira. She takes her sword out and slashes the air and then proceeds to attack, he easily blocks her moves and hit her back causing her to fall.

“A true alpha. Where’s your power, Scott” He says. 

“Who are you?” Scott asks.

“A devoted fan. Show me the man that took down Deucalion, the man who broke the Argents. I came for that alpha, COME ON” He replies. Scott roars and then attacks him. Kira gets up and then attacks him once again but he blocks every move. 

“I didn’t come just to claim your status” He starts to say. 

I stand up and ready my knives once again but I was pulled back by some guy. He attacks him landing a few blows here and there but not enough to take him down. Scott stands up and dodges every throw taken towards him but that guys grabs him by the throat and lifts him into the air. Then he impales Scott with his claws, Scott slowly kneels onto the ground his eyes flashing back to his normal eyes. 

I push past Kira taking her sword and run towards Scott getting ready to attack once again. Scott then grabs him and stands up his eyes back to his alpha ones. I smirk to myself and aim her sword at him while he lays on the ground.

“I don’t know who you are or what you thought you were gonna do but I’ll give you a choice. You can stay and I’ll break something else or you can run” Scott threatens. He looks at us and then turns his to face Stiles. I kick his leg getting his attention, I then lean crouch down in front of him the sword now on the ground. 

“I’d run” I whisper. He stands up, holding his broken arms and runs. I stand up picking up the sword and throw it back to Kira. We all walk towards each other, I turn around to face the guy behind us curious as to who he is. 

“You don’t remember me do you” he says. We all stand there silent, I fold my arms across my chest.

“Nope not one bit” I say. He chuckles and starts walking towards us. 

“I always liked that about you, (Y/N)” He replies. I take my knives out and aim them at him. 

“How do you know my name” I threaten. 

“I guess I look a little different since the fourth grade” He says. 

“…Theo” Scott says. He nods his head a smile slowly emerges onto his face. I put my knives down and place them back into my boots. 

“You know him” Malia says. I smile to myself as the memories of us begin to flash through my mind. 

“Yeah, we use to know him. We were best friends for three years” I reply. I look around the group of people everyone reactions seem so different. 

“Trust me I thought I’d never get to see you guys again. A couple months ago I heard of an alpha in Beacon Hills… When I found out his name was Scott McCall… I just couldn’t believe it. Not just an alpha but a true alpha” He says. 

“What do you want?” Scott asks.

“I moved back to Beacon Hills…back home with my family. Cause I want to be a part of your pack” He answers. 

“That was a really nice speech, Raeken. But all I wanna do and I’m pretty sure most of you agree is to sign our stupid initials onto a library shelf in the school, okay. Now if you don’t mind we’ll be going” I say before anyone could say anything I left and started walking towards the library. We all walk to the library in complete silence, all that could be heard was the sound of rain hitting against the ground. 

“That was interesting” Malia says breakining the silence. 

“Yeah” I reply. 

“What were you doing anyway (Y/N)”Scott asks. 

“I was letting someone go” I reply. He looks at me confused, i just pat his shoulder and continue walking ahead. We make it inside the school all of us sigh in relief. 

“I’ll be back. I have to go to my locker” I say. They nod their heads and stand there talking. 

I jog towards my locker and grab whatever I needed and began jogging my way back to the group of teens. I frown as I approach them as they all sounded like they were arguing with someone. 

“Hey what the hell is going on” I yell. Everyone turns around and looks at me with a sad expression. I look at them weirdly, not sure whats going on. 

“Hey, (Y/N). What the hell happened to you” I hear a very familiar voice say. He booked to walk towards me cupping my face as he examines my injuries from the fight. I push him away my emotions suddenly all over the place as the love of my life stands in front of me after all these years.

“Don’t start caring now Isaac it’s too late for that” I reply coldly. My hearts racing over a thousand miles per hour while my mind is all over the place, Why now, why here, why me…

“I don’t know why you’re here or why you’re back Isaac but I’ve had a bad night so if you’d like you can go back to France and never return. Oh yeah and this is for leaving” I say, I punch him in the face as the sudden urge of anger starts to raise inside me. He stumbles back a shocked look plastered on his face, he wipes the blood of his nose and fixes his composure, He looks at me with his beautiful blue eyes still full of love and it made me even more angrier.

“I’m here because of you” He says. I roll my eyes and scoff as I continue to glare at the boy in front of me.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Isaac. It’s been years since you up and left me, I needed you, I relied on you Isaac… so what makes you think that you could come back and think that everything would be okay. I’m still healing mentally and emotionally so I really don’t need this at the moment Isaac so leave… its what you’re good at” I yell tears streaming down my face with every word.

“(Y/N) please listen to me” he begins to plead with me. I scoff and roll my eyes once again, no matter how much I’ve yearned for him touch or to see him once again I’m not going to fall for his lies anymore, I’ve let him go so I need to stick by it.

“Isaac stop I’m done with this conversation and I’m done with you. Let’s go guys Lydias probably waiting for us” I say, I walk away the pack following behind as we make our way towards Lydia.

“Sooooo that was interesting” Stiles says while he catches up to me.

“Ugghhhh don’t even get me started, seriously this night couldn’t t have been any worse. I just wanna write my initial on that stupid library shelf and go home, my grandparents are probably worried” I reply annoyed. He laughs and puts his arm around my shoulder.

“Well it seems like your wish just came true cause I spot Lydia right now actually so library here we come” he says. I smile and hug him once more before letting to go met up with Lydia a bit quicker than the others. I give her a big hug and she hugs me back surprised.

“Took you guys long enough and what was that for even though I’m not complaining” she says with a confused yet concerned look on her face.

“I’ll catch you up tonight, sleepover?” I reply.

“Uhhhhh of course” she replied, I laugh at her response and hug her once more while we wait for the others to catch up.

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Isaac Lahey was my first everything, he was my first my love and also my first heartbreak. I had given that boy everything I could and yet that still just wasn’t enough my heart wasn’t enough because when I needed him the most he left…

I hate him so fucking much, that it hurts to still be in love with him. He left me, abandoned me, threw me away like I was simply nothing but trash to him, so how dare I still love him… how dare he still be on my mind after all he’s done to me, how dare he not be hurting still after all these years apart, how dare he make me feel the way that I do, how dare he expect to me to fall into his arms like he never left or none of it never happened…

I hate him so much that my heart can’t seem to stop being in love with him and it hurts, it hurts so much and I’m not sure if I fully let him go…“I love you”… yeah so much for that.

First of all. So. Many. Messages. 

Seriously overwhelmed with all the love here! I’m gradually working my way through all my messages, but it might take a little time. So I’m gonna keep getting out responses as best as I can. I didn’t realise just how many there were. The Tumblr App hadn’t alerted me to as much as I realised were waiting in my inbox. 

It’s been such a long time and I guess I should really call it a hiatus. I didn’t want to admit to myself that it was a hiatus, but I should have known really given that I kept putting off even coming on Tumblr for so long. 

So in the last year, things have been really hectic, especially on an emotional level, which might account for some of my absence. I’ve tried to keep focused on other things, such as my store, fitness etc. and sadly, the one thing which ended up being neglected was the exact thing that I thrive on. Writing is what I am passionate about more than anything in this world and I have let that slide, even though it is the one thing that really makes me proud of myself. I’ve been so sad to have gotten to the point where I’ve almost been afraid to get back into it, not just head-canons, but working on a book that I am hoping to get published, which is my biggest dream. 

So I finally bit the bullet and came back on here tonight in the determination to get back to where I used to be. Posting frequently, writing for the Voltage Fandom and writing my book! 

Thank you so much to all my lovely followers, I cannot believe I’m up to 1600 odd followers. It’s just insane and I couldn’t be any more grateful to each and every one of you for bearing with me, for sharing my writing and continuing to praise it. Some of the note numbers on my posts are just ridiculous and it’s just given me the warmest feeling. 

I am aware that I have a HUGE backlog of requests, some of which are still in my inbox and unanswered. So I will be getting on those ASAP. They will be my first priority for now along with the odd new request if it particularly catches my attention and inspires me. 

Right now, I’ll likely be sticking with existing characters that I’ve written on before. I’m not sure what new routes I’ll be reading. There’s been 2 or 3 new apps since I last played properly, plus new characters in existing apps I played so I’m at a bit of a loss where to start regarding that. 

If you have any recommendations or are dying to see me start posting regarding a particular voltage game and/or guy, then drop me a message in my inbox and I’ll do my best to check it out :) 

I think that’s about everything for now. But really, truly, thank you to everyone who has had something kind to say about my writing. You’ve kept me smiling in all the time I’ve been on Tumblr, encouraging me and ultimately, it’s brought me back. So thank you <3 

Much love!

~xMasqueradeAngelx 

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?