#love those guys

PIP:Ta-daaaaa!

PIP:The laundromat!

PIP:Where all your wonderfully bubbly dreams come true!

TWEEK:I thought humans couldn’t control fate like that.

PIP: Well, no dreams come true in the literalsense.

PIP:Unless your greatest dream is to wash all of your clothes.

PIP:Merely a euphemism, my friend!

TWEEK: Oh. Okay.

TWEEK:…Do we just… what do we do?

PIP: Follow me in and I’ll show you!

PIP:These places, from what I can recall, tend to be fairly empty at this time of night.

PIP: So you shouldn’t need worry about too many people, I know how you are about crowds and such.

PIP: Though I can’t say I ever went to one much, I was only ten or so during my last moments on earth, and I–

THOSE GUYS:…

THESE GUYS:…

PIP:Oh.

PIP:Oh dear.

PIP:It seems we have a little unexpected company, now don’t we.

TWEEK:Did…

TWEEK:Did all of these things come out of the portal…?

TWEEK: Why are they allhere?

PIP:I’m not quite sure…

PIP: Well, at least we’ll have some familiar faces around while we wait!

TWEEK:WUH–

TWEEK:What if someone comes in andseesthis?!

PIP:Oh, nonsense!

PIP:Anybody who was here would have ran out long ago after seeing these little devilish beings!

TWEEK:But–

PIP:Don’t avoid them now, you probably consider them better friends than I and the rest of the group, anyhow.

PIP:No sense in drivingall of your friends away, that’d just be silly!

TWEEK:I.

PIP: Come now, I’ll throw my laundry in the wash and you can see how it’s done.

TWEEK:…

TWEEK:Ew…

TWEEK:What’s all that stuffin there with the clothes.

PIP:Just a bunch of soap and water; It’s all you really need to get a fit shirt or two!

TWEEK:What???

TWEEK:Waterdoesthat?

TWEEK: I thought water was like. 

TWEEK:Bad for you?

PIP:Ahahaha, not at all!

PIP:Seems you’ve fallen victim to false information yet again.

TWEEK: “Yet again?”

TWEEK:What’sthatsupposed to mean?

PIP:Nothing, nothing.

PIP:You should try water some time!

PIP:It’squite refreshing, if I must say.

PIP:You know, actually, every single living being you see up here?

PIP: They have water in them as well!

PIP: I’m… not quite sure how that whole water deal works out when you’re dead or from hell, though.

PIP:I haven’t seen a lick of water since I was young. Why, the first thing I went to do when I got back last night was go and get a drink!

TWEEK:Isthat why you’ve been acting so weird?

TWEEK: Does water just do that to people?

PIP: Tweek, I’ve been acting the same as ever.

PIP:I think you’re just a little more on edge with all of this new stuff.

PIP: Which is fine, somany new things!

PIP:So much to process…

PIP:I’d certainly be more weary if I were in your shoes, so I couldn’t possibly blame you.

TWEEK: No, it’s notthat.

TWEEK:At all.

TWEEK:This shit is crazybut–

TWEEK: You’re acting differentdifferent.

TWEEK:You’re acting like you don’t give two fucks aboutanything you do.

PIP:I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, Tweek.

PIP: I’ve decided to improve on myself now that I’m on earth.

PIP: Now that I have another chance to do everything I could have done while I was alive.

TWEEK:So you… what.

TWEEK: You decide to go and terrorize all of your friends?

TWEEK: Don’t you care about all of your old friends???

TWEEK: You always used to tell stories about them and junk, and now what?

PIP: You’re right!

PIP:I couldn’t care less about my old friends.

TWEEK: But you were just asking for their forgiveness like, ten hours ago.

PIP:Yep, and just about nobody said a word to me.

PIP: And the one who did only said it out of fear.

PIP: Really, that was the final straw.

PIP: The final test to see if I could really muster up the energy to care anymore.

PIP:What a shame, those poor fools being the deciding factor in my life.

PIP:But I feel so much better now, and it’s only been a handful of hours!

TWEEK:But… your memories–

PIP:Nope!

PIP:All of my care has flown out the window, friend.

TWEEK:Well…

TWEEK:What about everything else?

TWEEK:This town?

TWEEK: Your old home?

TWEEK:Your favorite things?

PIP:Couldn’t care less!

PIP: Nothing ever went right for me, so rather than dwell on it, I might as well give it all the cold shoulder.

TWEEK: What about your family?!

PIP:Nope, still nothing!

PIP:Not a single one wrote to me after I left.

PIP: I figure Joe might’ve, if he ever had the spare pound to do so.

PIP: But never a word from my ugly bitch of a sister!!!

PIP:Not at all!

PIP:And I’m dead now anyhow, so what’s it all matter?

TWEEK:Wuh!!!

TWEEK:W–

TWEEK: What about the friends you have now?!

PIP:Mm, just another group of people who’ve berated me over the years.

TWEEK: What about the two fucking people you killed!!!!

PIP:That wasn’t me, but you’d wager against that too.

PIP:So I can’t be bothered.

TWEEK:What the fuck!

TWEEK: What about Damien?!

PIP:I–

PIP: Oh, well.

PIP: You’ve got me there.

TWEEK:You keep telling me about all this crazy shit up here on the surface, but you couldn’t give a damn if the whole town blew up, it seems like!

PIP:Well, Tweek, it wouldn’t be the first time that that’s happened.

PIP:And it may not be the last, if everything’s the same as it’s always been.

TWEEK:Holyshit,dude!

TWEEK:What are you some sort of fucking serial killer?!

TWEEK: How can you not care about a single fucking thing?!

PIP:Tweek…

PIP:I’m not sure how to tell you this, if you aren’t grasping it already.

PIP: I’m not even sure where all of this is coming from.

TWEEK:Maybe the fact that you killedThomas and that other guy???

PIP:They’ll be back.

TWEEK:Yeah, and you’d just as easily kill them again, wouldn’t you?

PIP: I told you already, it wasn’t me.

PIP: But you won’t listen.

PIP:Or understand.

PIP:So I really, really…

PIP:Well, simply put, Tweek…

PIP:I just don’t give a fuck anymore.