#oh boy oh boy

PIP:Ta-daaaaa!

PIP:The laundromat!

PIP:Where all your wonderfully bubbly dreams come true!

TWEEK:I thought humans couldn’t control fate like that.

PIP: Well, no dreams come true in the literalsense.

PIP:Unless your greatest dream is to wash all of your clothes.

PIP:Merely a euphemism, my friend!

TWEEK: Oh. Okay.

TWEEK:…Do we just… what do we do?

PIP: Follow me in and I’ll show you!

PIP:These places, from what I can recall, tend to be fairly empty at this time of night.

PIP: So you shouldn’t need worry about too many people, I know how you are about crowds and such.

PIP: Though I can’t say I ever went to one much, I was only ten or so during my last moments on earth, and I–

THOSE GUYS:…

THESE GUYS:…

PIP:Oh.

PIP:Oh dear.

PIP:It seems we have a little unexpected company, now don’t we.

TWEEK:Did…

TWEEK:Did all of these things come out of the portal…?

TWEEK: Why are they allhere?

PIP:I’m not quite sure…

PIP: Well, at least we’ll have some familiar faces around while we wait!

TWEEK:WUH–

TWEEK:What if someone comes in andseesthis?!

PIP:Oh, nonsense!

PIP:Anybody who was here would have ran out long ago after seeing these little devilish beings!

TWEEK:But–

PIP:Don’t avoid them now, you probably consider them better friends than I and the rest of the group, anyhow.

PIP:No sense in drivingall of your friends away, that’d just be silly!

TWEEK:I.

PIP: Come now, I’ll throw my laundry in the wash and you can see how it’s done.

TWEEK:…

TWEEK:Ew…

TWEEK:What’s all that stuffin there with the clothes.

PIP:Just a bunch of soap and water; It’s all you really need to get a fit shirt or two!

TWEEK:What???

TWEEK:Waterdoesthat?

TWEEK: I thought water was like. 

TWEEK:Bad for you?

PIP:Ahahaha, not at all!

PIP:Seems you’ve fallen victim to false information yet again.

TWEEK: “Yet again?”

TWEEK:What’sthatsupposed to mean?

PIP:Nothing, nothing.

PIP:You should try water some time!

PIP:It’squite refreshing, if I must say.

PIP:You know, actually, every single living being you see up here?

PIP: They have water in them as well!

PIP: I’m… not quite sure how that whole water deal works out when you’re dead or from hell, though.

PIP:I haven’t seen a lick of water since I was young. Why, the first thing I went to do when I got back last night was go and get a drink!

TWEEK:Isthat why you’ve been acting so weird?

TWEEK: Does water just do that to people?

PIP: Tweek, I’ve been acting the same as ever.

PIP:I think you’re just a little more on edge with all of this new stuff.

PIP: Which is fine, somany new things!

PIP:So much to process…

PIP:I’d certainly be more weary if I were in your shoes, so I couldn’t possibly blame you.

TWEEK: No, it’s notthat.

TWEEK:At all.

TWEEK:This shit is crazybut–

TWEEK: You’re acting differentdifferent.

TWEEK:You’re acting like you don’t give two fucks aboutanything you do.

PIP:I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, Tweek.

PIP: I’ve decided to improve on myself now that I’m on earth.

PIP: Now that I have another chance to do everything I could have done while I was alive.

TWEEK:So you… what.

TWEEK: You decide to go and terrorize all of your friends?

TWEEK: Don’t you care about all of your old friends???

TWEEK: You always used to tell stories about them and junk, and now what?

PIP: You’re right!

PIP:I couldn’t care less about my old friends.

TWEEK: But you were just asking for their forgiveness like, ten hours ago.

PIP:Yep, and just about nobody said a word to me.

PIP: And the one who did only said it out of fear.

PIP: Really, that was the final straw.

PIP: The final test to see if I could really muster up the energy to care anymore.

PIP:What a shame, those poor fools being the deciding factor in my life.

PIP:But I feel so much better now, and it’s only been a handful of hours!

TWEEK:But… your memories–

PIP:Nope!

PIP:All of my care has flown out the window, friend.

TWEEK:Well…

TWEEK:What about everything else?

TWEEK:This town?

TWEEK: Your old home?

TWEEK:Your favorite things?

PIP:Couldn’t care less!

PIP: Nothing ever went right for me, so rather than dwell on it, I might as well give it all the cold shoulder.

TWEEK: What about your family?!

PIP:Nope, still nothing!

PIP:Not a single one wrote to me after I left.

PIP: I figure Joe might’ve, if he ever had the spare pound to do so.

PIP: But never a word from my ugly bitch of a sister!!!

PIP:Not at all!

PIP:And I’m dead now anyhow, so what’s it all matter?

TWEEK:Wuh!!!

TWEEK:W–

TWEEK: What about the friends you have now?!

PIP:Mm, just another group of people who’ve berated me over the years.

TWEEK: What about the two fucking people you killed!!!!

PIP:That wasn’t me, but you’d wager against that too.

PIP:So I can’t be bothered.

TWEEK:What the fuck!

TWEEK: What about Damien?!

PIP:I–

PIP: Oh, well.

PIP: You’ve got me there.

TWEEK:You keep telling me about all this crazy shit up here on the surface, but you couldn’t give a damn if the whole town blew up, it seems like!

PIP:Well, Tweek, it wouldn’t be the first time that that’s happened.

PIP:And it may not be the last, if everything’s the same as it’s always been.

TWEEK:Holyshit,dude!

TWEEK:What are you some sort of fucking serial killer?!

TWEEK: How can you not care about a single fucking thing?!

PIP:Tweek…

PIP:I’m not sure how to tell you this, if you aren’t grasping it already.

PIP: I’m not even sure where all of this is coming from.

TWEEK:Maybe the fact that you killedThomas and that other guy???

PIP:They’ll be back.

TWEEK:Yeah, and you’d just as easily kill them again, wouldn’t you?

PIP: I told you already, it wasn’t me.

PIP: But you won’t listen.

PIP:Or understand.

PIP:So I really, really…

PIP:Well, simply put, Tweek…

PIP:I just don’t give a fuck anymore.

sevvaddle:

hey reblog/reply with how old u were when u discovered fanfic, what year it was, and what site

sigmalovebot:

at this point im gonna come back to being active on here only if they show us the master in the next doctor who special bc it’s the only thing that can make me un-shut up honestly

WELL

kinkobra:

it’s perfectly okay if you don’t want to be fucked right now, baby. I just want you to put the plug in your ass and the collar on your pretty throat so I can keep you in that nice subby headspace all day. We can just hang out and cook and play video games, but you know that anytime I wanted I could pull you in by your collar and kiss you slow and deep, or feel up your body and grind up against you, making that plug shift around just enough to make you whimper for me. I could ask you to present yourself at any time, and you would strip down and do it. I’ll order you to tell me every time you get hard/wet, just so I can see that sheepish look on your rosy face while you confess.

you see, I don’t have to be pounding you to make you mine. you already know who you belong to, darling, and I hardly have to lift a finger.

Larry: I don’t see why people think Sal is scary? I mean look he has swearer paws. SWEATER PAWS!

Ash: They flipped a man twice their size over their shoulder…

Larry: *glances at Sal* That’s adorable

Ash: *Stares at Larry*

Larry:Sal can flip me any day *wiggles eyebrows*

Ash:ಠ_ಠ

callmearcturus:

Gotta prep for Hot Karkat Summer