#pip pirrup
GREGORY: I don’t quite like the wording of these questions I’m reading in Craig’s little virtual post box.
GREGORY: But lest he tries tofoolishlyanswer questions not best suited for him, I will step in I suppose.
GREGORY: It’s clear he’s made a fine job of telling you all about my friends and I.
GREGORY: Or, quite possibly the verynarrowlight of which he’s seen us in at least.
GREGORY: Which is to say, he’s probably described us all ratherpoorly.
GREGORY: It is true, both Pip and Thomas both are nothing but kindhearted individuals.
GREGORY: Both have had their share of bullying, misfortune, and untimely deaths.
GREGORY:I’d say Pip’s I can relate to more, but Thomas’ just upsets me a great deal.
GREGORY: Not to rank either of their tribulations, I just believe I have a better grasp of exactly why Pip didn’t end up in heaven.
GREGORY:He’s had eight years to explain it to me, after all.
GREGORY:And so I will attempt to explain it to you all though what he has told me over the years.
GREGORY: They both deserve to have their stories told the correct way, and not however it would have been explained by the doltish owner of this weblog.
GREGORY:To start, I believe Pip started up in heaven.
GREGORY:Though, he never made it through the pearly gates, which is what truly grants you a pleasant and bright eternal afterlife.
GREGORY:Once you make it through that barrier, the only way you’re doomed is if you cause religious mishap, or truly gain some sort of evil intent.
GREGORY:Of course, this is only theChristianafterlife we’re speaking of.
GREGORY: And seeing that I’m possibly talking to possibly a baker’s dozen of strangers over the internet right now, I’d like to state that I have no outer knowledge of the afterlives of any religion other than my own.
GREGORY:I can say with certainty that a Christian hell is not the greatest source of outside knowledge, as much as it has progressed down there.
GREGORY: I feel as though these stories would be entirely different if the two had been risen under different minded households, so please spare some judgement on my part if this seems rather one sided of me to speak of.
GREGORY:So again, I am sharing only what I’ve been told of, and under a Christian mindset.
GREGORY: My intent is not to nullify any other afterlife, only to elaborate on my friends and I’s.
GREGORY:…
GREGORY:I honestly forgot where I was.
GREGORY: …Ah, yes.
GREGORY:Pip’s hellish status.
GREGORY: As I stated, once you make it through those heavenly gates, you’re officially a resident of the eternal life in the sky.
GREGORY: Normally, unless you are turned away for sneaky wrongdoings not seen through the watchful eyes of heaven, there is no issue getting in.
GREGORY:And for someone like Pip, the prior shouldn’t ever have been an issue.
GREGORY:All the time I’ve ever known of him– through lifeanddeath– is that he is kind, generous, and rarely wears a frown.
GREGORY: He gives his pleases and thanks, and he rarely acts unjust.
GREGORY:From the times he’s told me that he has, even those instances sound rather just.
GREGORY: My time knowing him alive wasn’t all too long, but a year or so before he had gone missing, never to be seen again.
GREGORY:He doesn’t like to talk about his own death very much, but from what I can tell it was certainly during a time of travesty.
GREGORY: And during such times, the gates can get overwhelmed and swollen with other unfortunate cases.
GREGORY:Certainly, everybody at their untimely death could not wait to see their afterlife.
GREGORY: Some sorrowful, some full of hope that the worst of it all was over.
GREGORY:From how he described it, Pip was more on the latter side of the crowd.
GREGORY: And so imagine…
GREGORY: When you think it’s allover.
GREGORY:When you think life hasfinally given you a break, and you’re able to move onto a better one…
GREGORY:That even up in heaven, there’s still nobody that cares enough about you.
GREGORY:A simple break in the clouds due to deceased overpopulation.
GREGORY:Nobody turns their heads.
GREGORY:Nobody thinks to look behind them and see what they’ve been ever so gently pushing back over their greed of a happy afterlife.
GREGORY: And greed is asin, mind you.
GREGORY: So they just continue to shuffle their feet and wait for their now undeservedturn into heaven.
GREGORY: And the wings you sprout after death are there for your tiring travel upwards.
GREGORY: It’s an exhausting journey to heaven, your new wings wont fly you a second time until you’ve reached your destination completely.
GREGORY: So if you’re denied entry before you can make it through, there’s no real way to fly back up until it’s far too late.
GREGORY:In life, Pip was never destined to go to hell.
GREGORY:In death, he still was not destined to go to hell.
GREGORY:But look at where the carelessness of others have brought him.
GREGORY:Where life can be cruel, death can be just as much so.
GREGORY:…Though…
GREGORY: Sometimes, while life and death may both sow their unjust seeds… a lot of what normally decides where you end up is your own actions in life, of course.
GREGORY: Thomas of course was nothing but a sweetheart.
GREGORY: From what he’s told me, though he couldn’t go to a church publicly due to his developed anxiety over his Tourette’s, he always made up for it by watching church service with his mother at home.
GREGORY:Every single Sunday, he told me.
GREGORY:Though like some people, especially in more depressing periods of their life, he began to question his faith.
GREGORY:There came a point where he didn’t know what he should truly believe in.
GREGORY:He never did anything wrong, as he always listened and obeyed the strict followings of Catholicism.
GREGORY: And though he was many things most extreme Christians would call sinful, he still would choose to believe, all that time.
GREGORY:In the end, none of what hewaswould have ever sent him to hell.
GREGORY:He truly is just too innocent and nice of a person.
GREGORY:Though sometimes, after traumatic experiences in life, it can kick your belief system like a switch.
GREGORY: After loss, it can be hard to believe.
GREGORY: And apparently loss for Thomas meant cutting out an entire part of his life that he had believed for fifteen years beforehand.
GREGORY: “How can you believe in a god if it feels like you’re only on Earth to suffer?”
GREGORY: It truly hurt my heart to hear him tell me the way he felt.
GREGORY: But in the end, it made sense why he was in hell.
GREGORY:Attaching yourself to faith for so long, believing in a god, then ditching a life worth’s of devotion in an instant.
GREGORY:That’swhat truly damned him to hell.
GREGORY:In the end it was only that loss of faith that flipped his destiny upside down.
GREGORY: For a while, he was in such a state of grieving, you knew you were still in hell.
GREGORY: Hell isn’t what he believed it to be anymore, of course.
GREGORY:Most of us had grown used to it, and even enjoyed the new era we were living in.
GREGORY:But it still stung for him.
GREGORY:Only in hell could you still hear the wallowing of the afterlife.
GREGORY:And of course, he only blamed himself.
GREGORY: He did two things that society said would damn him to hell.
GREGORY:But only one of them was what really did it.
GREGORY:Of course he didn’t realise this.
GREGORY: He sobbed for what felt like weeks, because he thought that the way he died… was what sent him here.
GREGORY:We would constantly reassure him that the means of his death did not attribute to his afterlife.
GREGORY:We even had him talk to the Devil himself– of which we’re fortunate friends of.
GREGORY: He, too, could only assure Thomas that it was not the way he died, but the way he chose to squander his faith.
GREGORY: It’s a harsh reality, and it’s unclear if he grasps it fully, even after a full year and a half.
GREGORY: I’ve always thought that if he had someone in life to help steer him in a better direction, he wouldn’t have gone out the way he did, nor would he have been sent to hell.
GREGORY:Hisexcertainly never did any good for him.
GREGORY:Even if Thomas claims his ex was the best thing in his life.
GREGORY:How could someone like that be the best thing in your life if they let you fall this far down a rabbit hole?
GREGORY: Thomas truly is as ignorant as he is pitiful.
GREGORY: We’re full of experiences that Stan and his friends would never, ever grasp.
GREGORY: I can’t believe this is a question that needed to be elaborated upon.
GREGORY:But if I’m not answering them, that fool of a man Craig would be instead.
GREGORY:I’m sure he’d paint Pip and Thomas both as monsters here.
GREGORY:But I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.
PIP:Oh, and all the torturing in hell stopped years ago, I assure you!
PIP:We made sure everybody gets a happy afterlife, even those deemed “sinners.”
PIP:Sinners is such a silly term, isn’t it?
PIP: A mere lack of faith, a few wrong gestures in life, or even simply dying at the wrong time isall it could take to send you downwards!
PIP: Funny, huh?
PIP: I mean this all in the least threatening way, of course.
PIP:You still have your whole life ahead of you, and all!
PIP: But you can take it from me, you don’tever need to worry about whether or not you’ll be happy when you die.
PIP: There’s so much more to each and every afterlife, why I’d say hell is even better than heaven at this point!
PIP:Don’t even worry about where you are when you die. You’ll enjoy it either way.
PIP:Oops, that sounds a little strange, doesn’t it?
PIP: Moreso, I meant you’ll be happy after death, of course.
PIP: Maybe not so much the dying bit.
PIP:That still hurts.
PIP:It hurts afterdeath too, even!
PIP:Just be prepared for that, I suppose!
THE COOL AND EPIC WAITRESS, HEIDI: Wow.
HEIDI:That’s really interesting.
PIP: It really is, isn’t it?
PIP: There’s just so much to the afterlife you don’t even consider before you die, it’s really quite amazing!
PIP:If I weren’t in a hurry, I’d tell you all about it!
HEIDI:Oh,you’rein a hurry?
HEIDI:A hurry?
HEIDI:Wow.
HEIDI:Well, better take your order then, and fast,right?
PIP:I suppose you’re right!
PIP:Why don’t we let our friend Tweek here order first.
PIP:This is his first time at Denny’s, you know!
HEIDI: Wow your friend’s name is Tweek, that’s really unique.
HEIDI:What can I get for you, sir.
TWEEK: I don’t know what any of this is.
HEIDI:That’s food, sir.
TWEEK: Well what about this picture of a cup?
HEIDI:That’s coffee, sir.
TWEEK:That’s a funny name for a cup.
HEIDI:It’s just the name of the drink.
TWEEK:Wow you guys really… drink stuff other than lava, huh. Like I thought that was kind of weird at that school place, but I thought it was a weird ritualistic thing or something?
TWEEK: And I thought Pip was just lying to me.
HEIDI:Yep.
HEIDI:Yep we do.
HEIDI:We really, reallydo.
TWEEK: Um, okay, I think I want to try this then.
TWEEK: “Coffee.”
HEIDI: Of course, sir.
HEIDI:And for your… um.
HEIDI:…Kid?
TWEEK:Kid?
PIP:(The imp that followed us, my friend.)
TWEEK:Oh–
TWEEK:Right.
TWEEK: I guess I have a kid.
TWEEK: I mean I know I have a kid.
TWEEK: This is something I know for sure, positively.
HEIDI:Yes, I’m sure you do.
HEIDI:What does your kid want to eat.
TWEEK: I don’t know.
TWEEK: What do kids eat?
TWEEK:(Actually wait can she even eat? I never ate when I was that young…)
HEIDI: Might I recommend the endless pancakes for four dollars.
TWEEK:ENDLESS?
TWEEK:Do the pancakes keep coming back?????
HEIDI:Pretty much, yep.
TWEEK: Oh my god that sounds horrifying.
TWEEK:…
TWEEK: …Yes please.
HEIDI:Great.
HEIDI:And for you, sir??????
PIP:Just an iced tea, please and thank you!
HEIDI:Alright.
HEIDI: Coffee, a dish of endless pancakes, and iced tea. Is that all for tonight?
PIP: I believe so, yes!
HEIDI: I’ll get right to it and leave you three alone.
PIP:Thank you so much!
PIP:Well,Tweek, I never thought I’d see the day!
PIP:You’re actually willing to try something other than lava and rocks?
PIP:I mean, I knowI was the one who brought you here, but I figured you’d abstain from the generosity– as you are wont to do.
TWEEK: This stuff is meant to stay up here on the surface.
TWEEK: If I’m on the surface, then I’ll do whatever I’m meant to do on the surface.
PIP:But… you’re allowed to eat and drink in hell, Tweek.
PIP:You have for yearsnow.
TWEEK:You made it so it was allowed.
TWEEK: It was never allowed before you came around.
TWEEK: I’ll never give into this new era bullshit you’ve brought to hell.
TWEEK: Cause it’s just not meant for hell.
PIP: Oh, you’re just too silly.
PIP: But there’s no use in arguing anymore, I suppose.
PIP:You seem so much more fascinated with the overworld, you’re just too stubborn to want these kinds of luxuries in your own home.
TWEEK:Can you stop trying to analyze me?
PIP:I don’t think I’m analyzing you, I think you’ve just made yourself very clear over all these years.
PIP: Why not have some fun for a change?
TWEEK:Is your definition of fun running around telling everybody that we’re from hell?
TWEEK: I thought we were supposed to be discrete.
TWEEK:That’sall Gregory ever said we should be.
TWEEK:Discrete.
TWEEK:Andnone of you are even trying.
PIP: What’s the use now?
PIP:I tried to keep myself in for you earlier, but it just made me realise I care even less than I thought I did.
TWEEK:Cool!
TWEEK:Amazing!
TWEEK:People probably think you’re a freak!
TWEEK: People don’t look like this up here, so we should be fitting in with them, not flaunting what they fear.
PIP: Are you forgetting the song I sang to you on the way here?
TWEEK:Ugh,no, but don’t remind me.
TWEEK: I just…
TWEEK:We should be more careful, shouldn’t we???
TWEEK:Gregory said to be careful but then he turned around and just… outed me like he did, and…
TWEEK:Estella’s just running around murder happy…
TWEEK:Thomas can’t even hold his form, and–
TWEEK:God we shouldn’t even be here.
TWEEK:We shouldn’t be doing this.
PIP:Tweek,really.
PIP:You shouldn’t worry so much, and you shouldn’t hide who you are.
PIP:What’s it matter if a waitress knows what you are?
PIP:What’s it matter if the people behind you know what you are?
TWEEK:It matters because–
TWEEK:Wait, people behind me?
TWEEK:Oh shit I forgot there were other people here–
TWEEK:I–
TWEEK:Woah.
TWEEK:Uhh…
TWEEK:(Oh god they’re all looking at me.)
TWEEK:hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TWEEK: What’s going on!
TWEEK: I think I saw you at school today, right?
TWEEK:Hi, I’m new here.
TWEEK: Is that coffee you’re all drinking?
TWEEK: How is it?
TWEEK: I’m about to try some for the first time.
TWEEK:Is it like, a localthing?
TWEEK: You guys are just staring at me, should I just stare back, or–
PIP:Don’t mind him all too much, he’s from hell!
PIP: Nice to see you all again, by the by!
TWEEK:Um, those are fake horns and wings and teeth by the way, he’s just playing pretend.
PIP:Nope,all authentic!
PIP:I died and came back, I did!
TWEEK:(cool. cool. cool.)
TWEEK:(This is so awesome.)
TWEEK:(At least I’m keeping weirdos like you away from those guys back at the barn…)
PIP:What was that, dear friend?
TWEEK:Ugh,nothing…
PIP:Ta-daaaaa!
PIP:The laundromat!
PIP:Where all your wonderfully bubbly dreams come true!
TWEEK:I thought humans couldn’t control fate like that.
PIP: Well, no dreams come true in the literalsense.
PIP:Unless your greatest dream is to wash all of your clothes.
PIP:Merely a euphemism, my friend!
TWEEK: Oh. Okay.
TWEEK:…Do we just… what do we do?
PIP: Follow me in and I’ll show you!
PIP:These places, from what I can recall, tend to be fairly empty at this time of night.
PIP: So you shouldn’t need worry about too many people, I know how you are about crowds and such.
PIP: Though I can’t say I ever went to one much, I was only ten or so during my last moments on earth, and I–
THOSE GUYS:…
THESE GUYS:…
PIP:Oh.
PIP:Oh dear.
PIP:It seems we have a little unexpected company, now don’t we.
TWEEK:Did…
TWEEK:Did all of these things come out of the portal…?
TWEEK: Why are they allhere?
PIP:I’m not quite sure…
PIP: Well, at least we’ll have some familiar faces around while we wait!
TWEEK:WUH–
TWEEK:What if someone comes in andseesthis?!
PIP:Oh, nonsense!
PIP:Anybody who was here would have ran out long ago after seeing these little devilish beings!
TWEEK:But–
PIP:Don’t avoid them now, you probably consider them better friends than I and the rest of the group, anyhow.
PIP:No sense in drivingall of your friends away, that’d just be silly!
TWEEK:I.
PIP: Come now, I’ll throw my laundry in the wash and you can see how it’s done.
TWEEK:…
TWEEK:Ew…
TWEEK:What’s all that stuffin there with the clothes.
PIP:Just a bunch of soap and water; It’s all you really need to get a fit shirt or two!
TWEEK:What???
TWEEK:Waterdoesthat?
TWEEK: I thought water was like.
TWEEK:Bad for you?
PIP:Ahahaha, not at all!
PIP:Seems you’ve fallen victim to false information yet again.
TWEEK: “Yet again?”
TWEEK:What’sthatsupposed to mean?
PIP:Nothing, nothing.
PIP:You should try water some time!
PIP:It’squite refreshing, if I must say.
PIP:You know, actually, every single living being you see up here?
PIP: They have water in them as well!
PIP: I’m… not quite sure how that whole water deal works out when you’re dead or from hell, though.
PIP:I haven’t seen a lick of water since I was young. Why, the first thing I went to do when I got back last night was go and get a drink!
TWEEK:Isthat why you’ve been acting so weird?
TWEEK: Does water just do that to people?
PIP: Tweek, I’ve been acting the same as ever.
PIP:I think you’re just a little more on edge with all of this new stuff.
PIP: Which is fine, somany new things!
PIP:So much to process…
PIP:I’d certainly be more weary if I were in your shoes, so I couldn’t possibly blame you.
TWEEK: No, it’s notthat.
TWEEK:At all.
TWEEK:This shit is crazybut–
TWEEK: You’re acting differentdifferent.
TWEEK:You’re acting like you don’t give two fucks aboutanything you do.
PIP:I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again, Tweek.
PIP: I’ve decided to improve on myself now that I’m on earth.
PIP: Now that I have another chance to do everything I could have done while I was alive.
TWEEK:So you… what.
TWEEK: You decide to go and terrorize all of your friends?
TWEEK: Don’t you care about all of your old friends???
TWEEK: You always used to tell stories about them and junk, and now what?
PIP: You’re right!
PIP:I couldn’t care less about my old friends.
TWEEK: But you were just asking for their forgiveness like, ten hours ago.
PIP:Yep, and just about nobody said a word to me.
PIP: And the one who did only said it out of fear.
PIP: Really, that was the final straw.
PIP: The final test to see if I could really muster up the energy to care anymore.
PIP:What a shame, those poor fools being the deciding factor in my life.
PIP:But I feel so much better now, and it’s only been a handful of hours!
TWEEK:But… your memories–
PIP:Nope!
PIP:All of my care has flown out the window, friend.
TWEEK:Well…
TWEEK:What about everything else?
TWEEK:This town?
TWEEK: Your old home?
TWEEK:Your favorite things?
PIP:Couldn’t care less!
PIP: Nothing ever went right for me, so rather than dwell on it, I might as well give it all the cold shoulder.
TWEEK: What about your family?!
PIP:Nope, still nothing!
PIP:Not a single one wrote to me after I left.
PIP: I figure Joe might’ve, if he ever had the spare pound to do so.
PIP: But never a word from my ugly bitch of a sister!!!
PIP:Not at all!
PIP:And I’m dead now anyhow, so what’s it all matter?
TWEEK:Wuh!!!
TWEEK:W–
TWEEK: What about the friends you have now?!
PIP:Mm, just another group of people who’ve berated me over the years.
TWEEK: What about the two fucking people you killed!!!!
PIP:That wasn’t me, but you’d wager against that too.
PIP:So I can’t be bothered.
TWEEK:What the fuck!
TWEEK: What about Damien?!
PIP:I–
PIP: Oh, well.
PIP: You’ve got me there.
TWEEK:You keep telling me about all this crazy shit up here on the surface, but you couldn’t give a damn if the whole town blew up, it seems like!
PIP:Well, Tweek, it wouldn’t be the first time that that’s happened.
PIP:And it may not be the last, if everything’s the same as it’s always been.
TWEEK:Holyshit,dude!
TWEEK:What are you some sort of fucking serial killer?!
TWEEK: How can you not care about a single fucking thing?!
PIP:Tweek…
PIP:I’m not sure how to tell you this, if you aren’t grasping it already.
PIP: I’m not even sure where all of this is coming from.
TWEEK:Maybe the fact that you killedThomas and that other guy???
PIP:They’ll be back.
TWEEK:Yeah, and you’d just as easily kill them again, wouldn’t you?
PIP: I told you already, it wasn’t me.
PIP: But you won’t listen.
PIP:Or understand.
PIP:So I really, really…
PIP:Well, simply put, Tweek…
PIP:I just don’t give a fuck anymore.
TWEEK: [Grumble grumble…]
TWEEK:…
TWEEK: Ugh, how are thereno bars here.
TWEEK:How is earth shittier than hell right now.
TWEEK: I bet this stupid thing doesn’t even work up on the surface…
TWEEK:Stupid fucking…–
TWEEK:Wh–
TWEEK: Why is my phone talking to me again.
TWEEK:Why do I even usethis dumb thing???
TWEEK:Wait…
TWEEK:It only ever does this when…
TWEEK: Ugh, when he’saround.
TWEEK:Hey, what are you doing???
TWEEK:You’re messing up my shit!
╤ ╝╤: …
TWEEK:…
TWEEK:Wait,is that him?
TWEEK:He’s not wearing his hat…
TWEEK:Wh…
TWEEK:No wait yeah okay yep that’s him.
PIP:Cheerio, friend!
TWEEK:Why are you walking around with all your stuff out, are you crazy?!
PIP:Rather bold of you to say, shouting from across the street like that!
PIP:Joking I am, of course.
PIP:All in good fun!
TWEEK:Why’s half of your clothes off, too?!
TWEEK:What if somebody sees you!!!
PIP:Let’s stop yelling, why don’t we, if you’re so concerned about a simple gaze or two in my direction!
PIP:Come on over here, why are you sitting all the way in that silly old log?
TWEEK:(Should I…?)
TWEEK:(What if one of the others is near by…?)
TWEEK:(It doesn’t feel like they’re around…)
PIP:Well?
TWEEK:Agh–okay okay, fine!
TWEEK:Seriously,why are you walking around like that???
TWEEK:Isn’t–
TWEEK: Isn’t it super fucked up for people up here?
TWEEK: Don’t you guys have, like, standards on the overworld?
PIP:Why, of course we do, Tweek.
PIP:However, I don’t think my appearance has anything to do with manners or being polite.
PIP: At least, not the parts of me that I can’t control– the physical parts of me, I mean.
PIP: In fact, the parts I can control are the very reason I’m headed the way I am!
TWEEK:What?
TWEEK: Make sense for once!
TWEEK: Since when are youso okay with how you look?
TWEEK: You can totally just– just,hide all your shit away!
TWEEK:Ugh!!!
TWEEK:You’re so annoying!!!
PIP: Now now, Tweek, there’s no need to get riled up!
PIP:I’m not even sure what I did this time.
PIP:Always so angry…
PIP:[Ahem]– Anyhow, I’ve been coming to terms with myself lately.
PIP: And I figure now is a better time than any to do so, considering my new status.
TWEEK:Man,please don’t remind me.
PIP:Well, friend, I’ll have a pretty hard time doing that right now.
TWEEK:Why.
PIP:Well for starters, I’m on my way to find Damien.
TWEEK: Oh god…
PIP: The problem here is, I haven’t the slightest clue where he might be at this time of night…
PIP:Certainly not in hell, no…
PIP:Hmm, I suppose he may be working.
PIP: I wonder if I can figure out where?
PIP: I mean, he’s told me what he does, but…
PIP:Mm, I’m not quite sure where a place like that would be around here, you know?
PIP:Oh but I’m sure someone around must know him well enough to tell me where he works.
PIP:Why, I’m sure the whole town over may know him, he could be the finest in his skillset around!
TWEEK:You’re rambling.
TWEEK: And I really, really don’t wanna hear about that guy.
TWEEK: Not any more nowthanbefore.
PIP:Oh! Sorry, sorry.
PIP:I guess I just… can’t help but be excited!
PIP:It may not feel this way for you, Tweek, but I’ve had so many memories here.
PIP: It’s just oh so nostalgic to be back!
TWEEK:Itliterally cannot feel that way for me, man.
TWEEK: I’m not even meant to be uphere.
TWEEK: I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, or what anything is.
PIP: Well I sure am not the best person to come to for advice on earth, I haven’t been here in about nine years myself, now!
PIP:Come to think of it, why didn’t you stay with the others after you ran off?
PIP:I’m surethey could have taught you a thing or two!
PIP: Much more than I, at least!
TWEEK: I can’t be around those guys right now, and you knowwhy.
PIP: Ah, right.
PIP: Well, then, maybe I can show you a few things about the surface.
PIP: While you’re here with me, that is.
TWEEK: I’m… not sure if I really wanna…–
PIP:Oh,nonsense, nonsense!
PIP: Don’t give me that act now!
PIP:You’re curious about all sorts of things, I can tell.
PIP:Why don’t you follow me to the laundromat?
PIP:And afterwards, we can have a quaint sit down at a diner for some tea.
TWEEK:I don’t know what a laundromat is.
TWEEK:Stop making things up.
PIP:Oh, I can assure you that a laundromat is very real, Tweek!
PIP: You’ve never seen one?
TWEEK: I’m from hell!
TWEEK: All there was in hell was fire and rocks,untilyou came around, and now it’s all luau torches and palm trees and– and stupid shit like that!!!
TWEEK: Not a single “””laundromat””” around, unless that’s this week’s newest stupid addition!
PIP:Oh my, no need to get hostile, dear friend!
PIP:A laundromat isn’t a tree or a torch.
PIP: It is simply a place to wash your clothes!
TWEEK:Wash… your clothes…?
PIP:Yes indeed!
PIP: I have to get all the blood off of these clothes somehow!
TWEEK:Like.
TWEEK:No, wait.
TWEEK:wait
TWEEK:You can just…
TWEEK:N
TWEEK: Wait if I go there I can WASH my SHIRT???
TWEEK:And like. Just. Have it be clean????????
TWEEK:JUST like that???
PIP:Ahahah…
PIP:You’re quite the funny one, Tweek.
PIP:I can never understand you.
PIP:Yes,you can clean your clothes, as simple as that.
PIP:You toss what you want into the washer drier, wait a little bit, and then you’re free to wear your freshly cleaned clothes to your heart’s desire.
TWEEK: What’s the–
PIP:No catch, friend.
PIP:None at all!
PIP:Come with me, and you can wash all the clothing you’d like.
PIP: The smell of a laundromat isquite lovely, too.
PIP:It’s a smell I think you’d be rather fond of.
TWEEK:Mmmmmmmmmm…
TWEEK:eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee………
TWEEK:ghgh hg gu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…
TWEEK:W-well…
TWEEK:You said you were gonna look for Damien, too, right…?
PIP:That I am!
PIP:The whole reason I’m going to wash my clothes in the first place is so I can look spick and span– just for him!
TWEEK:…Well…
TWEEK:Mmmmmmh…
TWEEK:O-okay, I’ll go with you.
TWEEK: But– but not because you taught me about anything.
TWEEK:Because I wanna find Damien, too.
PIP: Oh? Is that so?
PIP:I’ve never known you to want to be around the devil very much.
PIP: Considering you’re one of the very few who have the privilege to do so.
TWEEK: Yeah, well.
TWEEK: I wanna talk to him about something.
TWEEK: I think.
TWEEK: But if I’m following you around, could… like.
TWEEK:If it’s not for you, then could you at least just…
TWEEK:Hide all that shit soI’m not looking like a fucking weirdo or anything?
PIP:Oh I suppose, if it’ll make you more comfortable.
PIP:Let’s get a move on, then!
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CRAIG:Yeah, like…
CRAIG: I don’t really get out of my friend circle that often… so most of these guys I don’t know like, at all…
CRAIG:I can’t even tell if that asshole “Tweek” guy was ever even a real person to begin with.
CRAIG:What kind of name is Tweek, anyways…
CRAIG:He doesn’t even know what a barnis.
CRAIG: And that one chick, I’m pretty sure I heard she was alive before, but like.
CRAIG:I’ve never seen her in my life.
CRAIG: I don’t think any of us have.
CRAIG:She looks kind of like a bitch anyways.
CRAIG:What fucking right did she think she had, possessing Clyde like that…
CRAIG:As for the other three…
CRAIG:Pip was always so… like.
CRAIG:Stupid.
CRAIG: He was way too nice, super gullible, and he always tried to butt his way into things.
CRAIG:I can’t tell you how many times I had to slam the door on him when he’d try and show up to my parties.
CRAIG: He also just looked like a huge nerd.
CRAIG:But now…
CRAIG:I mean he still looks like a nerd, but…
CRAIG:He’s…
CRAIG:He’s definitely more assertive.
CRAIG:I’ve never liked him before.
CRAIG:And after today, I never, ever will.
CRAIG:That Gregory guy…
CRAIG: He was like, the annoying theater kid who always had some way to one-up you in his pocket.
CRAIG:He was pretentious and a know-it-all.
CRAIG:But I never really hung around him that much.
CRAIG:He had his own theater clique anyways.
CRAIG:And now he’s got weird ooze hands that come out of his mouth and stuff.
CRAIG:Like, after all these years he still has nothing useful coming out of his mouth.
CRAIG:How the fuck is he so okay with that shit.
CRAIG: Also does he think he looks good with that pony tail?
CRAIG:He’s so disgusting.
CRAIG: He still thinks he’s hot shit though. I can see it in his stupid demon eyes.
CRAIG:And Thomas…
CRAIG:Thomas…
CRAIG: He’s only been gone for a year and a half.
CRAIG: He’s still…–
CRAIG:–I mean no, he’s definitely changed.
CRAIG:Whyelsewould he be hanging out with the group that killed Jimmy.
CRAIG: He’d never fucking do that when he was alive.
CRAIG:He’d never associate himself with douche bags like that, and yet here he is, snapping along to their stupidsongs.
CRAIG: How could he do that to me– to us?
CRAIG:…
CRAIG:Maybe it is all just my fault after all.
CRAIG:I think all I really need to say is, I’m pretty sure I hate almost every single one of them.
CRAIG:And as much as they’ve changed, they somehow haven’t changed at all, either.
GREGORY:Justwhy the hell are we going back into town?!
ESTELLA:How many times do I need to tell you, you sun-dried scab off a decrepit man’s back?
ESTELLA:We need to devise a plan.
ESTELLA: What you did back there was foolish, unthought, and I’m fairly surprised nobody has you at the end of a pitch forkyet.
GREGORY:Oh, so you can try and throw a couple of joe-soap victims off a bridge, but chasing after them is just tooout of line, is it?
ESTELLA: Perhaps chasing them would be fine, if you hadn’t crushed everything in your path to get to them; you rough, low hanging moose testicle.
ESTELLA:My ways would have been efficient– quick and to the point– but somebody had to make a grand show today, didn’t they?
ESTELLA:Hadfun running around doing whatever you wanted, didn’t you.
GREGORY:I was handling everything just fine, and you knowit.
GREGORY: Maybe if you were better at possessing that chubby, hairy runt, I could have gotten rid of Stanley from the start.
ESTELLA: I’m not the issue you corpulent, bacteria-ridden rodent carcass!
ESTELLA:You know damn well I needed more time to control him than one single day.
ESTELLA:Andyou thought you could do everything on your own.
ESTELLA: You thought, “Oh, if I don’t let that poor old bitch out, I don’t ever have to deal with her superior plan ever again! I’m so ridiculously smart!”
GREGORY: I do not sound like that!
GREGORY: Maybe if the others picked up their slack, I wouldn’t have had to call youout in the first place!
ESTELLA:Oh!
ESTELLA:Oh, I see how it is!
ESTELLA: If you hadn’t let me out, everything would be just sunshine and roses, would it now?
ESTELLA:Is that what you’re saying, you filthy, rancid pustule swell? Is it?
ESTELLA:Ifyou hadn’t left me inside that small testicled man-child, the son of Satan wouldn’t know we’re out here right now!
ESTELLA:It’s your fault any of this is a problem!
GREGORY:Now listen here, you… youuu…!!!
GREGORY:Rrrg!
GREGORY:You better pick a damn side here with what you want!
GREGORY: You’re the dipsy twat who decided to possess anybody at all, and you think it’s my responsibility to take you out of there?
GREGORY:Did you want to stay in him or not?!
ESTELLA: It doesn’t matter what I wanted, it–
GREGORY: Oh, so now it doesn’t matter what you wanted, hmm?
GREGORY:Isthat what I’m hearing for you now?
ESTELLA:Oh, quiet you!
ESTELLA:You plan to improvise if something goes wrong!
GREGORY:You can’t plan an improvision, that’s an oxymoron in of itself!
ESTELLA: You’ve ran out of arguments so you nit pick my words instead, huh.
GREGORY:That’s right!
GREGORY:Maybe if you weren’t so impeccably stupid it wouldn’t have gotten to this point.
ESTELLA:You really are a child at heart still.
ESTELLA:The devil’s out there, and he’s going to be on our tails, and you choose to do this with your time.
GREGORY:We’re still walking, are we not?!
GREGORY:I know he’s on our ass!
GREGORY:We’reawesome at what we do, he’d be a fool not to be!
ESTELLA: That is true.
MIKE: Hey– you’re supposed to be helping people get ready in the make up room.
DAMIEN:What.
MIKE:You’re supposed to be doing your job, per se.
DAMIEN:I’m on break.
MIKE:Break ended five minutes ago.
DAMIEN:Yeah okay sure.
DAMIEN:I could send you to hell right now you know.
MIKE:Whatever, man…
DAMIEN:…
DAMIEN: God I love doing absolutely fucking nothing.
ESTELLA: Is that all, now?
ESTELLA:Did you get everything out of your system, you dog-feces packed rug on a rotten wooden floor.
GREGORY:No, not quite.
GREGORY:Would you mind not dragging the poor sap’s corpse across the pavement?
GREGORY: All that’s going to do is prolong his revival.
ESTELLA:You care about the decency of a corpse, do you?
GREGORY: If we’re walking through a town full of red-neck, american blokes with shot guns at the ready, then yes. I do.
GREGORY:He’s also still our friend, like it or not.
ESTELLA:I do not have friends, you silly bleeding heart of a man.
ESTELLA: You are all nothing more than accomplices.
GREGORY:Oh I’m sure you think so.
ESTELLA:Iknowso.
GREGORY:Y–
ESTELLA:Shut up.
ESTELLA:What are you doing with it.
GREGORY: Carrying him with some decency, you hag.
ESTELLA:I hardly see how carrying it like that will stop very many people from screaming bloody murder, anyways.
ESTELLA:Honestly, it’s a shame you actually have a heart under all of that blubbery skin of yours.
ESTELLA: You’re going to get blood all over yourself, you know.
GREGORY:Donot remind me.
GREGORY:Why do you think I put on gloves.
ESTELLA:Let’s just get somewhere quiet for the night and figure out our next course of action, shall we?
GREGORY:Whatever you say, your highness.
STAN: What the hell did you do, Craig?!
STAN:Why are there demons chasing us!
CRAIG:They came from the ouija board, I don’t know, man!
STAN:How do you not know?!
STAN:It’syourfault I almost fucking died back there, asshole!
KYLE:Hewas getting choked out pretty hard, dude.
CRAIG: Hey I savedyou!!!
CRAIG: Stop pinning this all on me!
STAN:You’re the one who kept playing with the ouija board after we left!
STAN: What were youthinking?!
CRAIG:I WASN’T THINKING, I WAS HIGH.
CRAIG:WE ALL WERE!
CRAIG:You were the one who said it was all bullshit anyways, don’t try and act like you ~knew~ this would happen!
STAN: You let a revenge-hungrymaniacout!
CRAIG: Oh yeah? Why does he wantyou so bad, huh?
CRAIG: Answer methat!
STAN:That’snone of your business–
KENNY: Oh my god can you guys PLEASE stop fighting.
KENNY:The guy flipped a car over and almost killed Stan, and you’re arguing about who’s more at fault?
CLYDE:Do you think we lost them bro???
TOKEN: I don’t know…
TOKEN:I mean he wrecked my whole car, I cant imagine whatelsehe could do.
CLYDE:I really want these guys to stop chasing us around, I’m not like some… some olympic runner or anything!
TOKEN: I… Ithink we’re safe…
TOKEN: Guys, I think we’re okay…
CLYDE:Ohthank god…buhhhhghghubuuuuu…
KYLE:What do we do now–
TOKEN:OH WAIT NO NO WE’RE NOT WE’RE NOT OKAY NO NONONO–
CLYDE:AAAAABBGFHFHDBFDGHBGFHDBBBUUUUUUUUUHHBHB
GREGORY:YOU ALL THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THE PROBLEMS YOU’VE MADE?
CARTMAN:YES!
GREGORY:YOU’RE GOING TO REGRET EVER FORGETTING ME.
CRAIG:Dude where the hell are we running, we’re not gonna get away from this guy!
KYLE:Jesus, is that the bridge up ahead already?
KYLE:How fast have we been running?
CRAIG:M-maybe if we cross it he won’t be able to pass!
STAN:That’sso fucking stupid dude, what makes you say that?!
CRAIG:I DONT KNOW STAN, WE’RE ALL KIND OF ABOUT TO BE CRUSHED TO DEATH BY A BRITISH GUY WITH TENTACLE HANDS, EXCUSE ME FOR NOT MAKING MUCH SENSE–
KENNY:W-wait– who’s that on the other side of the bridge?
STAN:W…
STAN: Why does…
STAN:That looks like…
CRAIG: Oh no… not him…
PIP: ᴛᴀʟʟʏ ʜᴏ
STAN: Dude what the hell is going on, what did you do?!
CRAIG:IsaidIdon’t know– I… I
PIP:Ohlovely, it’s enough for a whole tea party now!
PIP:And there’s more of my old friends here, too!
STAN: ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜ
PIP:How splendid!
PIP:The only one we’re missing now is…
PIP:YES.
TOKEN:E-Estella???
STAN:STOP MAKING UP WORDS, STUPID!
CRAIG:C–
CRAIG: Come on let’s just book it past Pip!–
TOKEN: W… wait–
TOKEN:Clyde…?
TOKEN: …Clyde… what’s wrong with your eyes…?
CRAIG: …C-come on… we need to–
CLYDE:Oh…
CLYDE: Will you shut up for a second, you garnish of a cow’s excrement.
TOKEN:C
TOKEN:Cow’s excrement?
CLYDE:It took him long enough…
CLYDE:I’m beginning to hate the stench of hair gel and wotsits…
CLYDE:Not that I ever enjoyed it all before, anyways…
STAN:Dudewhat are you going on about.
CLYDE:But as I’ve always done, I put up with the wretched stench of another deformed monkey’s scrotum that calls himself a man.
CLYDE: And now there’s six more to deal with.
Besties lovers
I love her
como amo a este pequeño niño muerto
happy belated february 14
some dip but furry
Bad Irene ✨
Pip & Damien~
burn
Scene from a fanfic that I read a long time ago~
A little sketch of Pip~
is from a mirrorverse AU ovo~
