Many foolish mortals think of ‘ol Vincey as simply the ghouliest, ghostiest movie star of all time, and while they’re right about that (hells to the yeah!), the truth is that Vincent Price was so much more than a movie monstah: the man was a master chef and the author of two highly-regarded cookbooks!
A Treasury of Great Recipes (1965) and Come into the Kitchen Cook Book (1969) were written by Vincey and (le sigh) his wife, Mary Price (i.e. the luckiest dame in the world. Real talk.)
And today, my little cabbages, you have one of the dirtiest, naughtiest delights from A Treasury of Great Recipes by Mary & Vincent Price right at your fingertips:
Toad-In-The-Hole
Don’t be scurred - it’s easy, homies!
First, go to the store and get…
The Goods:
24 small breakfast sausages (precooked or uncooked, Vienna or vegetarian – it ain’t no thang, y’all)
1 tablespoon veggie oil
¼ teaspoon salty salt salt
2 eggies
1 cup moo-milk
1 cup flower
(oh, and make sure you have a muffin man tin pan, of course)
Every domesticated mortal oughta have one!
And now…
The Steps:
1. Keep the moo-milk and eggies at room temp.
2. Sift the flower and the salty salt salt into a bowl. Stir in the milk.
3. In another bowl, give the eggies a nice, long beating (they’ve been very naughty) until they’re nice and frothy (oh la la!). Then add them to the milk/flower/salt thang and beat them all together.
4. Let the batter rest for 30 minutes or so. While you’re waiting, preheat your adult-sized Easy-Bake Oven (you know you wish Hasbro actually made them) to 400 degrees
5. Heat the veggie oil in a skillet. Prick (!) the sausages with a fork and fry ‘em up ‘til they’re cooked (or until they’re warmed if they’re precooked sausages)
Damn, this is turning into a real sausage-fest isn’t it?
5. Place one sausage and a lil bit of oil from ye olde skillet in each cup of your muffin man tin pan. Then place the pan in the oven.
6. Pour the batter that you once gave such a merciless beating to into the heated muffin tin pan cups (along with the sausages) and bake ‘em for 15 minutes.
7. Ding! 15 minutes is up! Reduce the heat to 350 degrees and bake another 10 minutes until the batter is brown and puffayyy.
8. Let the Toad-In-The-Holes cool in their tins for a while before you serve (I know you wanna eat NOW, but pump the breaks, Turbo)
The sausages will be semi-hidden in the puffy pastry, delivering a juicy and meaty surprise to your friends when they bite into your culinary creation.
***
And there you have it, cabbages: the story of how Vincent Price made cooking sexy.
Now go and make him proud, you libidinous little chef, you!
i think we’re all guilty of forgetting that hunk is the only character bar zarkon + haggar to have a canonical romantic plot so far which is … interesting
slav:alright hunk, please introduce your character!
hunk:okay. i, uh, put a lot of work into this (lance coughs) so i hope you guys enjoy it. my character is a rogue, who had a demon sealed inside him when he was a baby. because of this demon, he was ostracized by the village he lived in, but instead of becoming bitter about it, my rouge decided to rise above it all and become someone his people would have to be proud of. he’s made it a goal to be kind to every person he encounters, and has even befriended his enemies. while it’s true he isn’t the sneakiest of rouges, his heart is in the right place and that’s what ultimately matters. his name is hunkuto.
slav:excellent! now, lance, please-
pidge:wait, what? this is literally. this is literally just naruto.
hunk:no, his name is hunkuto i just said that
pidge:are you shitting me right now? naruto? fucking naruto? pleasetake this seriously i refuse to play dnd if you’re gonna be ninja roleplaying the entire time.
hunk:okay, first of all, naruto isserious. i don’t joke about naruto. and second of all, i put a lot of work into hunkuto, and as your friend i’m hurt that you would accuse me of messing around. please respect hunkuto like you would respect me.
pidge:… fine.
slav:hunkuto sounds like a fascinating character, hunk! i’m excited to see how he fares in our campaign. now, lance, who will you be playing?
