… Aand, apparently, that’s where both Serena and the author stopped thinking!

I started writing something for the @berena-tbc , but… Well. It’s me. I’d be disorganised and late for my own funeral.

I’ve been away from Tumblr for a while. I had a bit of a breakdown. Real life became a Bit More Shit, and I realised I wasn’t just empathising and sympathising with a fictional character, I was becoming the worst aspects of her, to everyone’s detriment. So, I had to take a step back.

I still wrote snippets and notes and occasionally the weirdest one-shots would spew out of me, but often, I couldn’t read Berena fic without throwing the phone, wailing, railing at canon. I avoided it a lot, even though not a day went by where I didn’t think about “what would Bernie/ Serena do/ be doing/ oh! I bet Berena would be…”

But! I’m better… Am getting better! And the last few months I’ve been devouring fic like air. I’m still a bit useless at commenting, and for that, I’m sorry - I appreciate all you fic writers and manippers who have kept me going even when I couldn’t get out of bed and yes, had to recover my phone from under the bed where it’s landed in a rage at canon, and all the things that could have been, that we could have had!

So! Here I am, for what it’s worth! I have things I pledge to finish, ideas that will take me years to work through, and works that I love to revisit and look forward to more from the writers and artists. You’re all amazing.

Berena was the best thing to have happened to me, not least because of the amazing friendships I have made. It’s part of my soul, I reckon, and I’ll never be over this ship. So, I’m back here, because I have so, so missed just logging on on a random Tuesday with something like “I wonder who makes the best curry and who do you reckon is most likely to be into BDSM?” and having a legit honest and hilarious conversation to follow! I have so missed being a part of this fandom, it was the best, and I’d love to get back to that!

Special thanks to @ktlsyrtis@asfarascruithne@bonnissance for… Well. Everything. ❤️

Life.

So, last night, I had this really weird dream, whereupon @matildaswan was coming for a visit, so we were all at my house (all being @ddagent@rexwolfe@asfarascruithne@sententiousandbellicose@ktlsyrtis@sasstermasters-quarter as well as a few others whose tumblrs I do not know, and some childhood friends) and trying to have a good sleepover, but I lived in this open plan place w a spiral staircase leading to upstairs, and I’d warned my mother to stay away, but my Dad turned up w cans of lager (fosters of all things, and he HATES Fosters ), and bc we’d run out of drinkable alcohol, he was chucking them up the spiral staircase over the railing, but then he came upstairs and let a can drop and it burst (of course it fucking burst, he said, and I had to clean it up bc he wasn’t capable) and then suddenly we were outside playing an RP American Civil War game, but with baseballs that my dad was trying to teach everyone to use as footballs, which turned into Paw Patrol bouncy balls, and then I was confronted over a fence by my childhood best friend (that spooked the fuck out of me) and someone else on her team that was wearing Man Utd shirts, and then suddenly there’s like 5 of us back in my mother’s “penthouse” sharing a mahoosive bed, trying to watch Philip Schofield on some random show, and all me, Matilda and Kelly are trying to do is have a threesome. We weren’t allowed to be seen drinking together bc it would compromise all of our collaborative research on Matilda’s paper, the only reason she had funding to come to the UK. Hence the sleepover that descended into this madness.

And then I got woken up by my mother asking me if I had bedsores from sleeping so long on her sofa. So, my underlying question from all of this is…. @matildaswan : do you have a B&W whole back tattoo?? Because I saw some dots under a jumper but nothing more, and I’m always intrigued by tattoos

My inner Rachel Bailey is manifesting strongly today, with wine and cereal for supper

Fic Authors Self-Rec!

Rules: When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass it on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love!

Thanks for the tag, @keyrousse it’s been a while since I’ve been shoulder tapped for one of these so i thought I’d show my appreciation that someone out there remembers I exist by doing what it says on the tin and plugging a bunch of my own stuff, rather than doing my usual and forgetting to respond for months. To be fair this has probably been left long enough to be sort of awkward, so sorry about that.

To preface, I don’t actually really have faves because there are layers and layers to my ‘do I still like this’ cake, and sometimes the filling’s missing but the answer is still yes, so instead here’s five random fics i have weird soft spots for.

Postscript [ST Discovery, E, Michael/Book/Pike] only two chapters in but the first time I ever played around with a work skin and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out

Knock Yourself Out [SW Repomm, E, Fi/Sev/Parja] IDK I just like this one

Of Duty [SW TCW, E, Rex/Ahsoka/Cody, Bly/Aayla] longest fic I’ve ever written, on hiatus and only half done but it gets a spot just for the excessive plotting and foreshadowing and other probably pointless bullshittery I’ve put into it

Different Toned Flecks [SW TCW, E, Fox/Vos] consolation prize for best pun hidden in the title

Pick Your Moments [SW TCW, E, Ahsoka/Fives] gets on the list for the technobabble

I always feel like I’m bugging people when tagging them in this stuff and feel even weirder considering it’s self recs as in You Are Not Obliged To Engage With My Work (even though I don’t feel that way about being tagged please don’t ask me to explain myself sometimes brains are just dumb) so please if you want to do this consider it a genuine go nuts and share your stuff.

dughole:

online sticker packfromblkmarket graphic design

funnytwittertweets:

I’m lucky to have such supportive coworkers

My Friday night is so hot

You ever have those moments where it’s like wow, that’s a much more deeply seated issue than I realized I had. I should probably talk to someone about that?

Hhhhhh it’s kind of sad that as much as I love Ghost, and having Copia as an f/o, like it’s not my main fixation and that my main actually doesn’t get much recognition nowadays at all??? It’s just so frustrating

Especially as an artist because I’ve gained more followers for drawing Ghost content than I ever have with anything to do with my number one (1) f/o, and it’s coming to that time of the year that they’re all I want to draw and just

*weeps*