#milaluxe
One of the things I hate most regarding narratives surrounding black public figures is the idea that they’re only as respectable as the amount of abuse they can take quietly without reacting. The minute they react, they’re “bothered” or they knew what they signed up for as public figures or they’re overreacting or they’ve lost all credibility. This narrative is boring.
I think this whole “accept that you’re the problem” movement in feminine spaces is weird because women have always been socialized to take responsibility for things that both are and aren’t their fault. Bad date? It’s never that the man was trash, is that we chose the wrong man. Bad relationship? It’s never that some things don’t work out, it’s that we didn’t specify what we wanted. Didn’t get that promotion? It’s never that we tried our hardest but it went to someone else, it’s that we didn’t work hard enough. Stressed out? It’s never that we’re taking on too much, it’s that we didn’t manage our time well enough. In pain? It’s never that there’s something that might be wrong, it’s that we’re not exercising enough. Gaining weight? It’s never a normal reaction to aging or stress or hormones, it’s that we go out with our friends too often and eat pizza once a week. We even take responsibility for our parts in our own SA. I don’t think telling a bunch of girls all the time “You need to accept responsibility, you’re the reason you’re not where you want to be, you’ll never make it anywhere if you don’t realize this is all your fault, you have no one else to blame but yourself” is helpful at all, because chances are that they are already taking the blame for everything that happens in their lives, even the things that they shouldn’t be taking blame for. I really wish that we as a community would start giving actually helpful advice to people or just not give it at all, because no one is forcing us to write these “advice” posts.
You know what? I have a radical thought about success. People are always saying that success comes from daily actions, discipline, continued effort, etc etc. I’m going to be controversial and hopeful and say BULLSHIT. All you need to do is persist. If you do the daily grind thing and fall off for a day, a week, a month, or even a YEAR ‼️ as long as you keep going, keep pushing through, keep trying, keep living, you’ll succeed. Unfortunately for y’all, I’ve decided for everyone in the whole world that the only way you fail is if you give up and then die having given up. We have to redefine success, redefine discipline, redefine persistence to include people who give it their all, fall short, then get back up when they’re ready and try again every time. I believe everyone like that will see the greatest success! It’s my greatest prayer, and I put that out into the universe! Please God, let everyone who tries their hardest, reaches their limit, then tries again reach success!
