#musical art

Circle of Bun Dreamcatcher:  Sunrise Aurora Rhapsody

Ballpoint pens, 5x7 smooth bristol

The one who’s receiving this used to be a coworker of mine; she’s a piano teacher, and studying to get her degree in physics (I believe??) and, well,…

….I still work at Starbucks.

I have a very soft spot in my heart for this person: she always, always extends an invitation to me to hang out–whether a small get together, or going to a movie….even though I always decline said invitations, for multiple personal reasons.

No matter how many times I say no, she always invites me.

My relationships weren’t always that way.  In high school, people stopped asking.  My reason for saying “no” is… the reason why you’re here looking at this.

I was always trying to improve.  I didn’t have time to socialize.  I put all of my time into art, writing–creating, in general–when homework was done.  

Not much has changed in the past ….what, 16 years?  I’m having doubts that anything ever will, despite my efforts.  I suppose I can dream about “earning my right” to go to that small get-together, or seeing that movie.  I can fool myself into thinking that, with enough of hard work, I can finally earn my keep with art alone, and earn my right to socialize.  Or even relax for a change.

I took that to a much more personal place than intended.  I’m sorry.

Thanks for looking.

Quick doodle from yesterday ig