Sis did an Easter egg hunt for me today! I got up, reached for my water…& there was an egg on my nightstand! I thought it was just 1, but then I saw another on my desk. They all had unicorn stickers on them & some had unicorns stickers *inside* them & some had jellybeans. Kirk was very excited by all the activity & followed me around the house while I hunted. Thanks, Sis! What delightful fun…for us both! And Kirk too, apparently. Happy Easter if you celebrate & Happy Sunday if you don’t!
#DisabilityDayOfMourning - Today we remember our disability kin killed by their parents/family/guardians because they’re seen as a “burden” or to “release them”. That’s murder & too often there’s no justice. But I would also like to ask people to be aware of caregiver-neglect. And yes, caregiver-neglect often means parents & loved ones too. This is what nearly killed me & I didn’t say anything because I felt trapped & didn’t see a way out. Until my sister gave me one. But if she hadn’t noticed I needed help, I never would have said anything. I thought living with my mom* was my only choice, that she was the only person willing to take care of me. & that I had to live with neglect & abuse as it slowly killed me because I had no resources to get out & didn’t know where to turn.
If you see a disabled person in a bad situation, talk to them, offer to help them find resources. (Please don’t just call protective services - that’s stepping on their autonomy & could make the situation worse. Only report it if the disabled person is unable to communicate their wishes to you through some form of communication) - Otherwise you can talk to us, ask us what we need, help us get it. Show us there are options, that we don’t have to live with an abuser & be neglected to death.
Because sometimes they kill us outright, but other times it’s slow & torturous - while we too often listen to people around us say what a saint our caregiver is for carrying the burden of us & it makes us feel like there is no one we can turn to, to say “I think I’m dying. I think they’re killing me.”
Remember us today, help us every day.
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*the fact that my mom was mentally & physically ill herself doesn’t change that I suffered & nearly died. It might not have been 100% her fault, but I still suffer the c-ptsd from it everyday.
I take an OTC sleep aid, so I have some pretty funky dreams. I don’t remember a lot of them when I wake up, but I remember last night’s and it describes my relationship with my big sister perfectly
The thing you need to know is that my sister has led The Hoe Life since she hit puberty. I have never shamed her for this, bc my philosophy has always been you do you and Imma do me.
Anyways, knowing that, here is the only part of the dream I remember:
My sister flew to South Korea to “see a friend,” and I was with her.
When we landed, she looks at me and says, “You know why we’re here, right?”
Like she thought she’d gotten one over on me with the ‘friend’ story and now she was ready to break the news.
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, babe, I have met you. Go do your thing, I’m gonna see if I can find a noodle shop.”
So, she went to Korea for a booty call, and I supported this wild endeavor for the food. If that ain’t us, I don’t know what is.
The best part is I called her and told her about the dream, and she said, “Okay, but you do realize that as soon as I heard ‘noodles,’ I would been like, ‘the sex can wait, let’s go.’”
#DisabilityDayOfMourning - Today we remember our disability kin killed by their parents/family/guardians because they’re seen as a “burden” or to “release them”. That’s murder & too often there’s no justice. But I would also like to ask people to be aware of caregiver-neglect. And yes, caregiver-neglect often means parents & loved ones too. This is what nearly killed me & I didn’t say anything because I felt trapped & didn’t see a way out. Until my sister gave me one. But if she hadn’t noticed I needed help, I never would have said anything. I thought living with my mom* was my only choice, that she was the only person willing to take care of me. & that I had to live with neglect & abuse as it slowly killed me because I had no resources to get out & didn’t know where to turn.
If you see a disabled person in a bad situation, talk to them, offer to help them find resources. (Please don’t just call protective services - that’s stepping on their autonomy & could make the situation worse. Only report it if the disabled person is unable to communicate their wishes to you through some form of communication) - Otherwise you can talk to us, ask us what we need, help us get it. Show us there are options, that we don’t have to live with an abuser & be neglected to death.
Because sometimes they kill us outright, but other times it’s slow & torturous - while we too often listen to people around us say what a saint our caregiver is for carrying the burden of us & it makes us feel like there is no one we can turn to, to say “I think I’m dying. I think they’re killing me.”
Remember us today, help us every day.
-
*the fact that my mom was mentally & physically ill herself doesn’t change that I suffered & nearly died. It might not have been 100% her fault, but I still suffer the c-ptsd from it everyday.
